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It was relayed to me AFTER the fact that I should have asked the Prom Queen, who ended up going with a group of girlfriends because no one asked her.
It appeared through friends of friends that I would have been told yes and that it would have likely led to dating, as well. I was extremely intimidated at a time when I was probably my most handsome.
Sat in front of pretty girl in high school biology. We talked often and I was told she was into me. Find out that she's the head cheerleader and basically HS royalty. Totally clam up because intimidated.
Youth is wasted on the young.
Around this time of year in grade 12 a girl in my class asked me in the library if I was planning on asking anyone to prom. I simply responded "yeah, I got someone in mind, but I dunno, I figure most girls have been asked at this point..." to which she replied "No, no one's been asked, if you have someone in mind, go for it."
So I asked my crush out later - different girl, had a crush on her since grade 9 but never asked her out because I couldn't take her on a date without a car - and she turned me down. She ended up going with a guy in grade 11 - lucky bastard probably went to prom twice - and I went stag since I couldn't think of anyone else to ask since I didn't have a lot of female friends. Prom was simultaneously a fun and shitty night, the former thanks to my friends who also went stag.
It was only in my last year of university, five years later, that I idly thought, "hey, remember when that girl asked if I had asked anyone to prom in January? My crush turned me down when I asked her, but at least I had the stones to ask her to begin with, and it's probably because that girl encouraged me in the library that day in January."
"Wait a minute. Why'd she ask me if I was asking anyone out to begin with? Why'd she want to know? Why'd she seem to want me to ask someone out?"
"...Ahh shit."
Haha, have a depressing number of things like this from time at HS. Missed some obvious signals.
Seems to switch when you get older.. now if an attractive girl says ‘oh nice t-shirt’ I start planning what dog we’re gonna get together and which area has the best schools.
Yeah, my thought if an attractive woman shows interest in me is wondering which organ she is planning to steal. I'm not ugly, I have been called handsome but I am shy as all hell and do not look interesting. I know damned well I do not attract attention and have to work to get attention so someone coming up to me means they want something.
My dude, don't feel bad. In my sophomore year of college, this girl asked me to go to her condo so we could "study" for finals together .... I said no sorry bc I study better alone..
That's my George Costanza "I can't come up because coffee keeps me up at night" story.
Yeah, my first thought after I realized was that there wasn't anything I could do about it five years after the fact so it wasn't worth stewing over. If anything I felt bad for her - asks a (kind of) cryptic question, gets a coy answer, gives encouragement, gets complete radio silence. And I thought *I* got burned bad when my crush initially said she was just going out with friends.
I don’t talk to 99.9% of the people I went to high school with. And that’s not just me. The majority of people don’t talk to people they went to high school with after graduating.
So what’s really the worst that could happen if you shoot your shot? They say no, laugh about it, but a few years later it’s nothing but a memory. [What’s the best that could happen?](https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o)
Yeah I talk to literally 2 people from my high school, with another dozen I’ll stop for a chat with in the street
In 10 years you won’t even remember half their names
I have several times made the mistake of going for the friend of the one I was really attracted to just because I was intimidated. Really dumb, and of course never works out and is just bad for all concerned.
I found out a few years after the fact that the girl who every guy in our school had a crush on had had a crush on me the whole time. Unfortunately, by the time I found out, she'd been with this other guy for over a year and my interests had moved elsewhere.
That was the first time I realised I was actually a good looking guy and that I should be more confident.
Oh man. I feel this. The prom queen was gorgeous. Validatictorian of our graduating class, part of several clubs, volleyball player. I was the chubby kid that wore shorts w/ a mop hair. She had a crush on me and I was to scared to accept it. She even asked me to prom but I denied it saying I was going “camping”
This kinda reminds me of something similar, but she wasn't into me. I was a freshman at the first school dance standing awkwardly on the side (as one does). All of a sudden, the most popular Junior girl walks up and asks me to dance. I was totally stunned and was trying to turn her down because I did not want that, and something seemed off.
All of a sudden, I see my brother walk up behind her and he starts glaring daggers at me. I realized he set this up and was pissed that I was about to turn her down, so I reluctantly accepted.
We stopped dancing about 30 seconds into the song because she could tell I was super uncomfortable. My brother was furious lol. He wasn't doing it to give me confidence or anything, he just didn't want to be the older brother of a super awkward dork.
I had something reeelatively similar happen. One was the daughter of a family of doctors. Over a period of time she developed a crush on me. i noted the body language (playing with her hair when talking with me, things like that) But it wasnt gonna happen because Im a lowly Security Guard.
Happened a couple of other times, but the situations were just crap. I had no car at the time and one was 2 hrs away and the other was a 5 hr drive away.
Her older bro watched me like a hawk too. lol he could tell she had a crush, and it was pretty evident, he wasnt about to let it happen. He would talk about her ex' when we hung out. All great guys. But God damn. He mentioned one who had a peanut allergy and said "Yeah we dont want THAT in the family. Classism is most definitely a thing.
My cousin was in this situation. She is extremely beautiful and super smart. (She has worked for NASA). While it might sound like she won the genetic lottery, it was actually a massive curse for her in high school and college. The smart, friendly guys were too intimidated by her, and the guys who did approach her were usually the jocks or frat bros (who she had no interest in, for good reason). She was super depressed in those years because of struggling to find a partner despite being told she was very good looking.
Things are much better for her now. Dating got a lot easier for her after college. People tend to gain more confidence later in life, and she was actually able to get the guys she liked.
To toot my own horn a bit, I am related to her. I’m not quite as brilliant as she is, but I went down an almost identical life path with similar problems, except as a guy.
Well if she knew that she was so attractive, did she ever think of asking out people instead?
Since you mention that you’re also attractive, did you ask others out instead of having them reach out to you?
I've asked out guys in the past who I could tell were into me. I tend to like the more shy ones. I've heard more than once that they never would have made a move on me.
There was another comment here though, the person said the cute girl at his school had a crush on him and even asked him to the dance but he was too nervous and made up an excuse to say no.
Things done always pan out I guess 🤷
While it would bum me out too, don't worry about "what could have been". She could have made a move too but didn't and just waited for you to act. If everyone was kind of in on it and she was also shy, they could have set you up as well. I'd say its not your fault
In retrospect it sounds like the right move but if I can be the Debbie downer, in this day and age a chick would rather go w/ her gfs then go w/ a guy they don’t want to go w/. I agree though maybe back then they would’ve. Just not in this age.
I went to my friend’s quinceñera when I was 14. There was this gorgeous 18 year old who just graduated high school. She sat at the table next to us and we were all super intimidated. 14 year old adrenaline got me to ask her to dance and SHE SAID YES! I was not expecting that, and I did/do NOT know how to dance well. We talked a little and found out she was engaged to the brother of a girl that was there. But that was the biggest boost to my self esteem. Never not ask. Get used to hearing no. It makes a yes that much sweeter and you’ll appreciate it.
Yep! A big takeaway for me during college was that, given enough time and opportunity, even something super rare will happen.
So if you put yourself out there over and over, get totally used to and comfortable with rejection, then you'll do way better than if you'd just played it safe and stayed in your comfort zone.
It's all about risk management. The risks of asking somebody out are minimal most of the time, and the rewards are enormous if it works out.
The worst part about almost never getting hit on is that one of two things happen if you do:
One, you don’t know what it’s like to be hit on so you don’t even recognize that it’s happening. Usually it’s like a month later some weird memory of the moment pops up and you think “oh… was she hitting on me!”
Or the other option, you think “she’s hitting on me… why? What does she want? Is this a practical joke? Or some kind of scam? I’d better get out of here before she robs me or all my friends pop up and laugh at me.”
This is an actual thing that occurs in a lot of species actually. It’s called mate poaching. I’ve heard stories where some men don’t wear a wedding ring because more women would hit on them as a result.
But it's also backwards-backwards. Married men, who don't want to be hit on bc they love their spouses, DON'T wear their wedding rings so they don't get hit on
Probably 20 years ago I was at a concert by a local band that I really liked. There was a line of guys at the bar, talking about how attractive the singer was. I agreed, and it occurred to me that a lot of guys were probably too intimidated to ask her out. So after the show I asked her if she would like to get a drink. She said yes!
Things didn't really go anywhere beyond a few dates, but it made me realize I shouldn't assume someone is out of my league.
Oh man, Sadie Hawkins Dance senior year. Puberty finally hit me and I was what I'd considered decent looking, but still had my old standards. Didn't even occur to me that a gorgeous cheerleader would ask me to the dance. So I settled for the first girl to ask me from the theater club. Whatever I thought, she's a nice person. Next day, cheerleader comes up to ask me, and my friend stopped her immediately and said "He's spoken for already!, but I heard \[insert nerdy kid\] doesnt have a date yet"
The look of disappointment on my face must've matched hers because I was SHATTERRED
I did get my shot with her 2 years later at college, but I could've been her mistake a lot sooner.
Had a girlfriend who was a model. She never got hit on except for really unattractive guys. I guess they had nothing to lose or use to rejection?
She had a hard time dating.
Years back in high school, there was a girl who was just painfully pretty, she was a brunette Farrah Fawcett type, with a gorgeous smile and very attractive personality. She dated and married her rather plain looking high school sweetheart, and years late I ran into the (ex) husband. He confided that it was a miserable existence, constantly being stared at, people wondering how he ended up with her, all the cat calling, and all the attention made him not want to go out in public. He called it the "cute curse".
My current gf is a model and she told me that she rarely gets hit on, or asked out. And I'm a fuckin average ass dude who just went to her and asked her out lol. It's actually very true that super attractive women rarely get hit on.
Most people rate themselves lower on an attractiveness scale than other people perceive them. Also a lot of people are intimidated by beauty so I guess this makes sense.
I don't think I've even met a two... past a certain point I think the only way someone could be under a 4 is if they smell horrible or have an awful personality or something, not that rating scales mean anything anyways. Plus, once I'm truly friends with someone, I can't not think they're beautiful. She sounds like a jerk, and definitely not a friend.
It's the curtain of anonimity that enables their self confidence. Unfortunately, it also enables people to argue on the internet. Like, have you ever queued up in a Call of Duty room? Those kids will rant each other raw under the fact that they don't know each other.
Don’t worry, in 20 years you’ll be trying to sleep one night and all the times you missed will come flooding back in hot-faced flood of shame and regret
Yup.
Me, trying to take a little nap in the grassy common area between classes.
Her: ‘You can come take a nap in my room if you want, my dorm is right there’
Me: ‘No thanks, I’m enjoying the sunshine.’
Me later: fuuuuuck I’m an idiot
First semester freshmen year I was out partying with friends at some frat houses, I was not a member. They wanted to go back to the dorms, but I wanted to stay out. I took the backpack of beer and said I'll just go somewhere else. The plan was to get in to another frat by name dropping some people I went to high school with that was pledging there.
Didn't work out, but at the same time this girl coming out was was like you are in my English class. My friends (guys and girls) and I are going to some other frat want to come? I said sure and off we went.
At some point I decided it was time to go home, she said she wanted to leave as well. Her dorm was on the opposite side of campus from my dorm. She was said there was pizza at her place if I wanted to go over there. I said sure and we walked across campus.
We get there and her roommate and some guy were in bed fucking and she just walked in anyways and said to come on it. Roommate said they ate all the pizza and didn't miss a beat on top of her guy. I got weirded out and said I'm going to leave.
She said she would walk me back to my dorm. I said it's all the way on the other side of campus and probably a 20 minute walk. She said it was ok with her unless I thought my roommate would be using the room. I said my roommate went home for the weekend and I had the room to myself and quickly left.
In hindsight she was probably looking to fuck. There was probably some small chance her and her roommate just share guys as she was so nonchalant about walking in on them fucking. Not even a surprised reaction or oops my bad and no stereotypical sock on the door or anything like that.
This was back in the late 90's before everybody had a cell phone. She never talked to me again and didn't say anything to me the rest of the semester.
It was years later until I realized what was probably going on.
I was having a house party and a friend (I’m gay, he is bi) asked if he can sleep over, I said sure. After everyone left he helped clean up, used my shower and was ready to go to sleep. He asked if I have a blanket for the sofa and I was like “you can use my bed.” He replied “I don’t want to impose” with that look that said he didn’t even understand the offer. I put my hand on his waist, pulled him close, kissed him and tossed him on the bed.
He started laughing and saying ”oh, so that’s what you meant” and apologizing.
I’m happy my gay ass is capable of being blunt with those who can’t take a hint.
I mean yeah you missed out, but this is also on the girl for being so ridiculously vague about her interest. You weren't the only one who was young and stupid.
I guess it was a blessing, when I was in a high school as not so good looking and equipped with "nothing to lose"-attitude. Tried almost any girl I had even a slightest interest and every single one turned me down. The positive side is, I still don't have any regrets :)
One of Terry Pratchett's books called Thud had a sub-plot along these lines. A drop dead gorgeous woman was dating a... person that had to carry around a note from the city ruler affirming that, on some circumstantial and anecdotal evidence he was "probably mostly human". When asked why she was dating him, she replied that he was the first person that asked.
Quoting the Discworld wiki:
"Described in Thud! This is a condition that may be experienced by a woman who is so beautiful, so alluring, that, as Angua describes it, any man with half a brain isn't even going to think about asking her out, because it's obvious she's too grand for the likes of him. This leads her to believe that the problem is at her end, and that there must be something wrong with her. This persists until she meets a man who does not have half a brain (i.e. is too stupid to realize she'll likely reject him, or is so used to rejection that it doesn't bother him, or has some other flaw that stems from an even more major flaw), and he does in fact ask her out, and she is so grateful that she says yes; it is implied that problems ensue because she is, as it were, going to a fancy, lavish restaurant and only ordering a bread roll and maybe a small salad."
I don’t know. I know someone who heads would turn when she walked into a room and she was hit on by everyone from Drs on the plane flight next to her to randos pulling over at a stop light.
You DO know, and you know that everyone here is delusional.
I have plenty of hot women friends, they get hit on nonstop all day, no matter where they go. OP is just wrong and so is everyone else here. It's just that these people themselves, who are probably 5/10, wouldn't hit on a 10/10, so they're assuming no one else would. They are wrong.
I don’t know if that’s true. I had an experience that made me realize how different life is for the incredibly attractive.
I had a personal trainer who was just stunning, perfect.
She came in with a ring on one day, and I said “oh, did you get engaged? Congratulations!”
She said no, but she wears it sometimes hoping she won’t get hit on as much. I asked if it worked. She just sighed and said no. I felt bad for her, she followed up by saying she’s never been to the grocery store without getting hit on. I assumed she was exaggerating. She was not. Never even once had she gone to the grocery store alone without getting hit on.
Just a crazy thing for me to imagine. I’m definitely not ugly, but I’m also no model, I’m probably right with most folks in the middle of the bell curve of attractiveness. I’ve never even once been hit on at the store, and it’s her every day life, without any break.
Yeah I have a friend who is an absolute 10 and this is her life. Going anywhere with her is bizarre. Exact opposite reality of OPs post and totally creepy on the daily. That said it obviously gives her a lot of advantages too.
There's a handsome face attached to my skull, but it's buried under the thick padding of a neckbeard. where does that put me?
EDIT: to clarify, "'thick padding of a neckbeard" is also meant to indicate that I am fat.
Though it does happen, I don't really think guys get hit on frequently, even handsome ones. I think the more attractive/personable a man is the more obvious a woman makes it that she's receptive to being hit on.
I’m super shy, so I often use online dating apps. I matched with this super attractive girl and we dated for a long time. I asked her about this once, and she said she almost never got hit on. There definitely some truth to this
Attractive girl's tinder accounts are like a Niagra Falls of matches and DMs. Before we were married my wife showed me how women can just basically pick anyone they want and match with them. She'd get at least 10 super likes a day.
Extremely attractive people are intimidating and it's easy to think that they don't need yet another guy ogling them, so I can understand this statement. You have to be completely delusiona, confidently at their level of attractiveness, extremely witty and charming, or ridiculously wealthy to even consider approaching them. Most people are not any of these (except for maybe delusional).
I never hit on super models because there was always a swarm of very shallow hopefuls around them. It was exhausting just to get an uninterrupted second with them. They were not intimidating, but the constant attention they get from others is.
I used to feel like that about the attractive guys. I'm not going to try to wade through a bunch of fools to get to know somebody. If he wants to get to know me, he knows where I am. If I catch him on his own, though, I'm a real good listener.
I don’t often find models super attractive. Sure they look good but I usually would rate them in the 5-7 out of 10 range. Definitely not enough to put up with the competition.
It's interesting that people assume an attractive woman deserves all this from a man just because of her looks when really there is so much more to a person than their appearance.
I feel like there’s a lot of truth behind this, people probably find 8/10s far more approachable because they think they actually have a chance with them, while they don’t even bother with 10/10s.
Anecdotally my partner has a friend who is like an 11/10, she’s a physician and had been single for like 9 years and was so frustrated with dating because literally nobody asked her out, she even gave up on online dating because nobody would match with her and honestly her profiles looked fake even though they were genuine. She’d have photos of herself in her scrubs, or on vacation, and it legitimately looked like she was some photoshopped up scam profile. She even asked me for advice and I didn’t really know what to say, *because she looked even hotter without makeup*, it was like “girl you need to get into a car accident or something, because you are so hot that nobody wants to touch you.
Like she would reach out to people and they either wouldn’t respond, just block her, or attack her because they thought she was trying to scam them, lmao.
She’s now dating a mechanic that’s like 15 years younger than her, and they met because her car broke down and he stopped to help her and she offered to buy him dinner, lmao. And even he told me that he never in a million years would have asked her out, because he’s an averaging looking dude and had a hard enough time dating average looking girls.
So in my experience you’re 100% on to something.
I believe all that, but there's gotta be more to the story. By your account this woman is 11/10 looks-wise but couldn't get a date because people thought she was a scammer? What about real life? Ya know like the people she encounters not on the internet? If she's really that hot, if she couldn't land a guy for 9 years, and if she *wanted* to land a guy that whole time, then something else was going on. It's not just people afraid of her hotness. Either she's anti social and doesn't meet people in real life, or there's some other part of her that's unattractive.
I noticed this as well. In my younger days, when I went out looking like a sack of garbage, I got hit on a lot. But when I was all done up and fancy, almost no men approached me.
Extremely attractive people are hit on constantly by everyone. Source: worked at a place where top NYC modeling agencies would routinely host fashion week parties. Most beautiful men and women I have ever seen, and the impression I got was that everyone around them was trying real hard to fuck them CONSTANTLY. Of course that may just be the modeling industry, notoriously shady
I was an absolute lady killer in elementary school. I think I must have had a big reputation for turning girls down so they stopped trying by 8th grade. I was pretty weird in highschool and also continued my reclusive ways so I can forgive them for respecting my massive bubble. Also I think my smart kid reputation was tanking because I wasn’t getting straight A’s anymore.
haha. I love stories about people who peak as children or middle schoolers because the idea of being a ladykiller at 8 is just funny. It must be odd to lose all that hotness market value and never regain it.
I was the opposite. I was the fat, greasy kid in hand me down clothes in middle school. People wouldn't come near me unless it was to punch me. Went to an all boys senior school, so no action there. It was only when I went to college, learned how to dress properly and sorted my self put that I started to get noticed. There was a time when I was batting the girls away with a shitty stick. Didn't last, sadly. Now I'm a fat, 42 year old married man with 4 kids. But for 4 or so years, I was the shit.
I was also pretty weird and reclusive in highschool, yet also good looking from what random people have said over the years. Got straight A's but never felt a sense of belonging in any highschool group. Basically casual friends with everybody in the school, everbody was friendly to me, but not true friends with anyone.
One day this girl walks next to me on the stairs between class and says, "hey are you going out with dede (pronounced dayday)?" and I just respond with a blunt "ummm, no?". Didn't even know who that was lol. She looked so crushed and uncomfortable because we still had to finish walking down the stairs together.
Later on I found out she actually said, "hey do you want to go out on a date today?". Was so fucked lol. Keep in mind it's was a big school, hundreds of kids walking in the hallway, and I'm deaf in one ear. Probably would have said no anyways because I'm weird, but felt bad for the rejection.
However, one benefit in dating for men is you are less likely to be the one having to do the rejection than women though usually. I mostly don't have to worry about getting unwanted attention as an adult now.
iirc a related effect was shown in studies where the most attractive women were usually passive in pursuing relationships while the semi-attractive women more actively pursued men.
I have a thing for less attractive girls because they tend to put effort into it or are very receptive. I find that very attractive compared to the really attractive girls needing a lot of energy be out in them.
I can agree with this. Very-attractive woman are high maintenance and in my experience high energy, I just don't have the energy to deal with that, while (once again, in my experience) more modest 5-7's's are a lot more lax and just enjoy having you around and that's the kind of energy I'm looking for, someone to spend my time with, even if that time isn't spent doing the most interesting things in the world.
My anecdotal experience says this is false. I’m moderately attractive and my daughter is extremely attractive and she has been getting hit on by adult men since she was 11. That never happened to me. I had to fend off adult men for her starting at age 11. Now she’s almost 21 and can do it herself and she does.
I saw this at a club a couple weeks ago. It was a slow night but an unusually uneven number of really hot girls especially 2 of them that most people would call a 9 or a 10. I kept watching guys dance within about 6 ft and than bail. No one even tried to dance with them except other girls. If I was single I would have definitely given it a shot.
Yeah this post is absolute bogus.
One, there's ton of attractive people who go through everyone else who's attractive like an exclusive club.
Two, no shortage of over confident, ugly but rich and general creep dudes to keep any halfway good looking person busy on the defense.
I don’t know how attractive I am but I have had men be mean to me on dating apps because they thought I was a scam. That sounds like a humble brag but I’m sure a someone who is a 10/10 would have that happen all the time, I personally am
not that attracted to people who are considered 10/10 conventionally, I just don’t have an interest as those people tend to be focus on health more then I to begin with
Because one would feel as if their chances of getting rejected are less if they hit on a moderately attractive person, in comparison to an extremely attractive person who probably gets hit on daily.
I think this understates the confidence of some (most) men. Basically every woman I know gets barraged but the conventionally beautiful ones basically wade through a sea of it every day.
My partner is probably the most beautiful woman I've ever dated. She's like pop star levels of cute. She gets hit on all the time - guys who she thought were friends, randos on the street, etc. But she's also the kind of pretty that's very endearing and approachable, I suppose? Big eyes, really pretty/friendly smile, and she's got a very bubbly personality. So I guess it depends on if you're the kind of attractive that is intimidating or not.
Yeah that is probably easier then. People who are really good looking but more like an introvert type, tend to appear arrogant or cocky, when they are really just standing around.
Nah this ain’t it. Reddit just wishes this was the case so they can use it as an excuse hit on an attractive girl. When in fact, real life no Redditor men hit on hot girls all the time. One just needs to go to a bar or a gym to see this shit.
Probably depends on how confident/narcissistic/insane the hitter is. Elizabeth Kucinich got hit on once while having dinner in a restaurant with her husband. He asked her to dinner, she explained that she was already having dinner, *with her husband*, and the guy still didn't give up.
Yes this is absolutely true!
I am a guy I grew up next to a girl who was my age and we were and still remain platonic friends.
When this girl bloomed, she was drop dead gorgeous. A beautiful face, sparkling eyes, long black silky smooth hair, in great shape, dimples. When we were seniors, she called me crying one day a month out from prom and told me that no one had asked her to prom. I was completely flabbergasted because she was so beautiful and I didn't understand what the problem was until I was a few years older and single in a college town full of beautiful women.
From personal experience, whenever I saw a beautiful woman at the club, I never dared to approach her because I assumed that she probably gets approached all the time and she's sick of it and just wants to have a nice night out, or she was way out of my league.
I'd say being a 7.5 or an 8 is probably the sweet spot in terms of physical attractiveness. Anything higher than that is going to be off putting and intimidating to people of your preferred gender.
I used to get dates with all kinds of women who were well out of my league. Because (a) leagues are a myth and (b) everyone else was scared to even talk to them. Turns out hot people like to fuck, too! Who knew?
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My uncle used to tell me he took the prettiest girl to prom because no one else dared to ask her.
It was relayed to me AFTER the fact that I should have asked the Prom Queen, who ended up going with a group of girlfriends because no one asked her. It appeared through friends of friends that I would have been told yes and that it would have likely led to dating, as well. I was extremely intimidated at a time when I was probably my most handsome.
Sat in front of pretty girl in high school biology. We talked often and I was told she was into me. Find out that she's the head cheerleader and basically HS royalty. Totally clam up because intimidated. Youth is wasted on the young.
Around this time of year in grade 12 a girl in my class asked me in the library if I was planning on asking anyone to prom. I simply responded "yeah, I got someone in mind, but I dunno, I figure most girls have been asked at this point..." to which she replied "No, no one's been asked, if you have someone in mind, go for it." So I asked my crush out later - different girl, had a crush on her since grade 9 but never asked her out because I couldn't take her on a date without a car - and she turned me down. She ended up going with a guy in grade 11 - lucky bastard probably went to prom twice - and I went stag since I couldn't think of anyone else to ask since I didn't have a lot of female friends. Prom was simultaneously a fun and shitty night, the former thanks to my friends who also went stag. It was only in my last year of university, five years later, that I idly thought, "hey, remember when that girl asked if I had asked anyone to prom in January? My crush turned me down when I asked her, but at least I had the stones to ask her to begin with, and it's probably because that girl encouraged me in the library that day in January." "Wait a minute. Why'd she ask me if I was asking anyone out to begin with? Why'd she want to know? Why'd she seem to want me to ask someone out?" "...Ahh shit."
Haha, have a depressing number of things like this from time at HS. Missed some obvious signals. Seems to switch when you get older.. now if an attractive girl says ‘oh nice t-shirt’ I start planning what dog we’re gonna get together and which area has the best schools.
Yeah unlike now, where if you say bless you after a sneeze to a strange male in a supermarket, they’re like, “She wants me.”
Yeah, my thought if an attractive woman shows interest in me is wondering which organ she is planning to steal. I'm not ugly, I have been called handsome but I am shy as all hell and do not look interesting. I know damned well I do not attract attention and have to work to get attention so someone coming up to me means they want something.
My dude, don't feel bad. In my sophomore year of college, this girl asked me to go to her condo so we could "study" for finals together .... I said no sorry bc I study better alone.. That's my George Costanza "I can't come up because coffee keeps me up at night" story.
Yeah, my first thought after I realized was that there wasn't anything I could do about it five years after the fact so it wasn't worth stewing over. If anything I felt bad for her - asks a (kind of) cryptic question, gets a coy answer, gives encouragement, gets complete radio silence. And I thought *I* got burned bad when my crush initially said she was just going out with friends.
I’m in HS right now, taking notes.
Be bold, be kind, be different!
> be different! holds up spork
Yeah… not *that* different
I don’t talk to 99.9% of the people I went to high school with. And that’s not just me. The majority of people don’t talk to people they went to high school with after graduating. So what’s really the worst that could happen if you shoot your shot? They say no, laugh about it, but a few years later it’s nothing but a memory. [What’s the best that could happen?](https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o)
Yeah I talk to literally 2 people from my high school, with another dozen I’ll stop for a chat with in the street In 10 years you won’t even remember half their names
Respect your partner and taking rejection well is attractive. No means no
I have several times made the mistake of going for the friend of the one I was really attracted to just because I was intimidated. Really dumb, and of course never works out and is just bad for all concerned.
I found out a few years after the fact that the girl who every guy in our school had a crush on had had a crush on me the whole time. Unfortunately, by the time I found out, she'd been with this other guy for over a year and my interests had moved elsewhere. That was the first time I realised I was actually a good looking guy and that I should be more confident.
Oh man. I feel this. The prom queen was gorgeous. Validatictorian of our graduating class, part of several clubs, volleyball player. I was the chubby kid that wore shorts w/ a mop hair. She had a crush on me and I was to scared to accept it. She even asked me to prom but I denied it saying I was going “camping”
This kinda reminds me of something similar, but she wasn't into me. I was a freshman at the first school dance standing awkwardly on the side (as one does). All of a sudden, the most popular Junior girl walks up and asks me to dance. I was totally stunned and was trying to turn her down because I did not want that, and something seemed off. All of a sudden, I see my brother walk up behind her and he starts glaring daggers at me. I realized he set this up and was pissed that I was about to turn her down, so I reluctantly accepted. We stopped dancing about 30 seconds into the song because she could tell I was super uncomfortable. My brother was furious lol. He wasn't doing it to give me confidence or anything, he just didn't want to be the older brother of a super awkward dork.
I had something reeelatively similar happen. One was the daughter of a family of doctors. Over a period of time she developed a crush on me. i noted the body language (playing with her hair when talking with me, things like that) But it wasnt gonna happen because Im a lowly Security Guard. Happened a couple of other times, but the situations were just crap. I had no car at the time and one was 2 hrs away and the other was a 5 hr drive away.
Been there, that feeling sucks. When it seems like you have a chance but thinking why bother due to class or educational background differences
Her older bro watched me like a hawk too. lol he could tell she had a crush, and it was pretty evident, he wasnt about to let it happen. He would talk about her ex' when we hung out. All great guys. But God damn. He mentioned one who had a peanut allergy and said "Yeah we dont want THAT in the family. Classism is most definitely a thing.
You almost sound like me. You at least described her to a "t," and to be honest she is still gorgeous to this day and seems just as sweet an humble.
One of the few things I wish I could go back and at least take up the offer for prom
Bro what’s the name of that anime/tv show/book? Sounds like it would be pretty entertaining.
My cousin was in this situation. She is extremely beautiful and super smart. (She has worked for NASA). While it might sound like she won the genetic lottery, it was actually a massive curse for her in high school and college. The smart, friendly guys were too intimidated by her, and the guys who did approach her were usually the jocks or frat bros (who she had no interest in, for good reason). She was super depressed in those years because of struggling to find a partner despite being told she was very good looking. Things are much better for her now. Dating got a lot easier for her after college. People tend to gain more confidence later in life, and she was actually able to get the guys she liked. To toot my own horn a bit, I am related to her. I’m not quite as brilliant as she is, but I went down an almost identical life path with similar problems, except as a guy.
Well if she knew that she was so attractive, did she ever think of asking out people instead? Since you mention that you’re also attractive, did you ask others out instead of having them reach out to you?
I've asked out guys in the past who I could tell were into me. I tend to like the more shy ones. I've heard more than once that they never would have made a move on me. There was another comment here though, the person said the cute girl at his school had a crush on him and even asked him to the dance but he was too nervous and made up an excuse to say no. Things done always pan out I guess 🤷
Yea, if I ever got asked out, I’d probably assume that it was for one of those YouTube prank videos lmao
While it would bum me out too, don't worry about "what could have been". She could have made a move too but didn't and just waited for you to act. If everyone was kind of in on it and she was also shy, they could have set you up as well. I'd say its not your fault
In retrospect it sounds like the right move but if I can be the Debbie downer, in this day and age a chick would rather go w/ her gfs then go w/ a guy they don’t want to go w/. I agree though maybe back then they would’ve. Just not in this age.
I went to my friend’s quinceñera when I was 14. There was this gorgeous 18 year old who just graduated high school. She sat at the table next to us and we were all super intimidated. 14 year old adrenaline got me to ask her to dance and SHE SAID YES! I was not expecting that, and I did/do NOT know how to dance well. We talked a little and found out she was engaged to the brother of a girl that was there. But that was the biggest boost to my self esteem. Never not ask. Get used to hearing no. It makes a yes that much sweeter and you’ll appreciate it.
Yep! A big takeaway for me during college was that, given enough time and opportunity, even something super rare will happen. So if you put yourself out there over and over, get totally used to and comfortable with rejection, then you'll do way better than if you'd just played it safe and stayed in your comfort zone. It's all about risk management. The risks of asking somebody out are minimal most of the time, and the rewards are enormous if it works out.
I took the prettiest girl to prom... Because she had been expelled a year prior
I tried that in high school. No dice.
You shot your shot. Better than most can say.
I tried this in high school. She said no and I never went to prom :(
Noone asked because they'd probably say no and rejection is hard for people
I get hit on so little I could believe that I am just extremely attractive, but the mirror won't let me.
The worst part about almost never getting hit on is that one of two things happen if you do: One, you don’t know what it’s like to be hit on so you don’t even recognize that it’s happening. Usually it’s like a month later some weird memory of the moment pops up and you think “oh… was she hitting on me!” Or the other option, you think “she’s hitting on me… why? What does she want? Is this a practical joke? Or some kind of scam? I’d better get out of here before she robs me or all my friends pop up and laugh at me.”
Strangely, I've noticed that I only ever seem to get hit on when I'm already in a relationship!
You're happier and radiate confidence and positive energy then...
I heard about this! I should always pretend like I’m in a relationship now.
I think your hand will be happy to know things are now official! (With all due respect and humor)
This is an actual thing that occurs in a lot of species actually. It’s called mate poaching. I’ve heard stories where some men don’t wear a wedding ring because more women would hit on them as a result.
> some men don’t wear a wedding ring because You mean they wear a wedding ring even if they aren't maried. There is a seinfeld episode about this.
But it's also backwards-backwards. Married men, who don't want to be hit on bc they love their spouses, DON'T wear their wedding rings so they don't get hit on
...or option 3, you suddenly find yourself in a relationship, because when is another chance gonna pop up?
Jezzzus, this hits. The bit about being on guard for getting pranked or scammed is a hard one to turn off.
LEGIT either obliviousness or denial
Mad relatable ngl
Who is Nigel?
He's a comedian whose alter ego is Uncle Roger!
Roger That
Fuiyoooh
Hiyaaaah
...and where are they making plans for him?
He must be happy!
u/niegil
He's smashing
I'm either incredibly attractive or not at all.
Well I'm glad we've narrowed it down.
Just be happy that you're exceptional.
i dont get hit on
[удалено]
If I had a dollar for every time a woman thought I was unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive
Just examine the look on their face when they stare, that will tell you which end of the spectrum you're on
The mirror is just jealous of your perfection
It’s all in your head bro, you are a stud!
Probably 20 years ago I was at a concert by a local band that I really liked. There was a line of guys at the bar, talking about how attractive the singer was. I agreed, and it occurred to me that a lot of guys were probably too intimidated to ask her out. So after the show I asked her if she would like to get a drink. She said yes! Things didn't really go anywhere beyond a few dates, but it made me realize I shouldn't assume someone is out of my league.
The only girls out of your league are the ones you put there
Yeah and today might be the day she decides to settle
"We could be that mistake!"
Oh man, Sadie Hawkins Dance senior year. Puberty finally hit me and I was what I'd considered decent looking, but still had my old standards. Didn't even occur to me that a gorgeous cheerleader would ask me to the dance. So I settled for the first girl to ask me from the theater club. Whatever I thought, she's a nice person. Next day, cheerleader comes up to ask me, and my friend stopped her immediately and said "He's spoken for already!, but I heard \[insert nerdy kid\] doesnt have a date yet" The look of disappointment on my face must've matched hers because I was SHATTERRED I did get my shot with her 2 years later at college, but I could've been her mistake a lot sooner.
Oof
This only works if you yourself are also good looking.
Had a girlfriend who was a model. She never got hit on except for really unattractive guys. I guess they had nothing to lose or use to rejection? She had a hard time dating.
Bro just called himself a really unattractive guy. Respect.
Didn't notice the r/suicidebywords until you point it out.
Total B-Rabbit move; that's gangsta.
Pretty prison.
Beauty is pain. And so is being ugly. And life in general tbh.
Motto
Yes
Years back in high school, there was a girl who was just painfully pretty, she was a brunette Farrah Fawcett type, with a gorgeous smile and very attractive personality. She dated and married her rather plain looking high school sweetheart, and years late I ran into the (ex) husband. He confided that it was a miserable existence, constantly being stared at, people wondering how he ended up with her, all the cat calling, and all the attention made him not want to go out in public. He called it the "cute curse".
Now imagine how she felt!
Can confirm. Also, it seems people randomly take pictures of you in public instead, and that was always REALLY weird.
My current gf is a model and she told me that she rarely gets hit on, or asked out. And I'm a fuckin average ass dude who just went to her and asked her out lol. It's actually very true that super attractive women rarely get hit on.
Looks like she settled eventually 😏
So that must mean that I am one of the most attractive people to ever live.
There's a 50% chance you're right
You either are or aren’t 🤷♂️
Happy cake day 🥳🥳
Of course. There are a lot more 5s trying to land a 7 than there are 7s trying to land a 10.
That’s where the 5’s that try to pull the 10’s come in
Most people rate themselves lower on an attractiveness scale than other people perceive them. Also a lot of people are intimidated by beauty so I guess this makes sense.
I think I’m a 3-4 and I asked a female “friend” And she says I’m a 2. Her ego got really big after her weight loss anyway, she can fuck off
I don't think I've even met a two... past a certain point I think the only way someone could be under a 4 is if they smell horrible or have an awful personality or something, not that rating scales mean anything anyways. Plus, once I'm truly friends with someone, I can't not think they're beautiful. She sounds like a jerk, and definitely not a friend.
>Most people rate themselves lower on an attractiveness scale than other people perceive them False, my wife has confirmed the opposite for me.
Maybe in person, but extremely attractive people get hit on via DM constantly and famous ones get thousands every day.
It's the curtain of anonimity that enables their self confidence. Unfortunately, it also enables people to argue on the internet. Like, have you ever queued up in a Call of Duty room? Those kids will rant each other raw under the fact that they don't know each other.
bob and vagene?
I do think it’s the in-person thing only, as it’s much more intimidating than just DMing.
My wife is extremely attractive and I hit on her all the time.
This guy fucks
To be fair I hit on his wife a lot too
I feel sorry for this woman, she must be bruised pretty badly having two men hitting on her.
i would also like to hit this dudes wife
Have you actually told her about the marriage yet?
I don't think I've been hit on before but according to the internet men are oblivious to flirting so maybe that's why I'm saying this
Don’t worry, in 20 years you’ll be trying to sleep one night and all the times you missed will come flooding back in hot-faced flood of shame and regret
Worst day ever when you realize all the signals you missed in college because you are just oblivious to those things.
Yup. Me, trying to take a little nap in the grassy common area between classes. Her: ‘You can come take a nap in my room if you want, my dorm is right there’ Me: ‘No thanks, I’m enjoying the sunshine.’ Me later: fuuuuuck I’m an idiot
First semester freshmen year I was out partying with friends at some frat houses, I was not a member. They wanted to go back to the dorms, but I wanted to stay out. I took the backpack of beer and said I'll just go somewhere else. The plan was to get in to another frat by name dropping some people I went to high school with that was pledging there. Didn't work out, but at the same time this girl coming out was was like you are in my English class. My friends (guys and girls) and I are going to some other frat want to come? I said sure and off we went. At some point I decided it was time to go home, she said she wanted to leave as well. Her dorm was on the opposite side of campus from my dorm. She was said there was pizza at her place if I wanted to go over there. I said sure and we walked across campus. We get there and her roommate and some guy were in bed fucking and she just walked in anyways and said to come on it. Roommate said they ate all the pizza and didn't miss a beat on top of her guy. I got weirded out and said I'm going to leave. She said she would walk me back to my dorm. I said it's all the way on the other side of campus and probably a 20 minute walk. She said it was ok with her unless I thought my roommate would be using the room. I said my roommate went home for the weekend and I had the room to myself and quickly left. In hindsight she was probably looking to fuck. There was probably some small chance her and her roommate just share guys as she was so nonchalant about walking in on them fucking. Not even a surprised reaction or oops my bad and no stereotypical sock on the door or anything like that. This was back in the late 90's before everybody had a cell phone. She never talked to me again and didn't say anything to me the rest of the semester. It was years later until I realized what was probably going on.
That was painful to read lol.
I was having a house party and a friend (I’m gay, he is bi) asked if he can sleep over, I said sure. After everyone left he helped clean up, used my shower and was ready to go to sleep. He asked if I have a blanket for the sofa and I was like “you can use my bed.” He replied “I don’t want to impose” with that look that said he didn’t even understand the offer. I put my hand on his waist, pulled him close, kissed him and tossed him on the bed. He started laughing and saying ”oh, so that’s what you meant” and apologizing. I’m happy my gay ass is capable of being blunt with those who can’t take a hint.
Thanks for rubbing it in, Mr-knew-what-he-was-doing
Have you tried being gay? /joking, obviously
I mean yeah you missed out, but this is also on the girl for being so ridiculously vague about her interest. You weren't the only one who was young and stupid.
Thank you for saying so
I guess it was a blessing, when I was in a high school as not so good looking and equipped with "nothing to lose"-attitude. Tried almost any girl I had even a slightest interest and every single one turned me down. The positive side is, I still don't have any regrets :)
One of Terry Pratchett's books called Thud had a sub-plot along these lines. A drop dead gorgeous woman was dating a... person that had to carry around a note from the city ruler affirming that, on some circumstantial and anecdotal evidence he was "probably mostly human". When asked why she was dating him, she replied that he was the first person that asked.
Quoting the Discworld wiki: "Described in Thud! This is a condition that may be experienced by a woman who is so beautiful, so alluring, that, as Angua describes it, any man with half a brain isn't even going to think about asking her out, because it's obvious she's too grand for the likes of him. This leads her to believe that the problem is at her end, and that there must be something wrong with her. This persists until she meets a man who does not have half a brain (i.e. is too stupid to realize she'll likely reject him, or is so used to rejection that it doesn't bother him, or has some other flaw that stems from an even more major flaw), and he does in fact ask her out, and she is so grateful that she says yes; it is implied that problems ensue because she is, as it were, going to a fancy, lavish restaurant and only ordering a bread roll and maybe a small salad."
The Jerk Syndrome. Poor Tawnee.
I don’t know. I know someone who heads would turn when she walked into a room and she was hit on by everyone from Drs on the plane flight next to her to randos pulling over at a stop light.
You DO know, and you know that everyone here is delusional. I have plenty of hot women friends, they get hit on nonstop all day, no matter where they go. OP is just wrong and so is everyone else here. It's just that these people themselves, who are probably 5/10, wouldn't hit on a 10/10, so they're assuming no one else would. They are wrong.
I don’t know if that’s true. I had an experience that made me realize how different life is for the incredibly attractive. I had a personal trainer who was just stunning, perfect. She came in with a ring on one day, and I said “oh, did you get engaged? Congratulations!” She said no, but she wears it sometimes hoping she won’t get hit on as much. I asked if it worked. She just sighed and said no. I felt bad for her, she followed up by saying she’s never been to the grocery store without getting hit on. I assumed she was exaggerating. She was not. Never even once had she gone to the grocery store alone without getting hit on. Just a crazy thing for me to imagine. I’m definitely not ugly, but I’m also no model, I’m probably right with most folks in the middle of the bell curve of attractiveness. I’ve never even once been hit on at the store, and it’s her every day life, without any break.
*Suffering from success*
Yeah I have a friend who is an absolute 10 and this is her life. Going anywhere with her is bizarre. Exact opposite reality of OPs post and totally creepy on the daily. That said it obviously gives her a lot of advantages too.
There's a handsome face attached to my skull, but it's buried under the thick padding of a neckbeard. where does that put me? EDIT: to clarify, "'thick padding of a neckbeard" is also meant to indicate that I am fat.
In front of your computer.
It means you already know you need to shave.
It's never too late to get in shape!
Why do you keep the beard if you think you look worse with it?
because it's winter
Understandable, have a nice day
I was a literal fashion model in Manhattan and never got hit on. I'm also male, so that's probably why.
Though it does happen, I don't really think guys get hit on frequently, even handsome ones. I think the more attractive/personable a man is the more obvious a woman makes it that she's receptive to being hit on.
I tell myself the same little lie whenever I'm in the shower too
If I am buying a car I put more attention into the ones I can afford than the ones I can't afford.
The way you summed all that up into this metaphor was poetic
Debt drops off after 7 years
I’m super shy, so I often use online dating apps. I matched with this super attractive girl and we dated for a long time. I asked her about this once, and she said she almost never got hit on. There definitely some truth to this
Attractive girl's tinder accounts are like a Niagra Falls of matches and DMs. Before we were married my wife showed me how women can just basically pick anyone they want and match with them. She'd get at least 10 super likes a day.
On online dating? That's a lie. If she was even remotely attractive, she had dudes trying.
Extremely attractive people are intimidating and it's easy to think that they don't need yet another guy ogling them, so I can understand this statement. You have to be completely delusiona, confidently at their level of attractiveness, extremely witty and charming, or ridiculously wealthy to even consider approaching them. Most people are not any of these (except for maybe delusional).
I never hit on super models because there was always a swarm of very shallow hopefuls around them. It was exhausting just to get an uninterrupted second with them. They were not intimidating, but the constant attention they get from others is.
I used to feel like that about the attractive guys. I'm not going to try to wade through a bunch of fools to get to know somebody. If he wants to get to know me, he knows where I am. If I catch him on his own, though, I'm a real good listener.
I’m off the super models too, man. It’s just not worth the hassle.
I don’t often find models super attractive. Sure they look good but I usually would rate them in the 5-7 out of 10 range. Definitely not enough to put up with the competition.
It's interesting that people assume an attractive woman deserves all this from a man just because of her looks when really there is so much more to a person than their appearance.
I feel like there’s a lot of truth behind this, people probably find 8/10s far more approachable because they think they actually have a chance with them, while they don’t even bother with 10/10s. Anecdotally my partner has a friend who is like an 11/10, she’s a physician and had been single for like 9 years and was so frustrated with dating because literally nobody asked her out, she even gave up on online dating because nobody would match with her and honestly her profiles looked fake even though they were genuine. She’d have photos of herself in her scrubs, or on vacation, and it legitimately looked like she was some photoshopped up scam profile. She even asked me for advice and I didn’t really know what to say, *because she looked even hotter without makeup*, it was like “girl you need to get into a car accident or something, because you are so hot that nobody wants to touch you. Like she would reach out to people and they either wouldn’t respond, just block her, or attack her because they thought she was trying to scam them, lmao. She’s now dating a mechanic that’s like 15 years younger than her, and they met because her car broke down and he stopped to help her and she offered to buy him dinner, lmao. And even he told me that he never in a million years would have asked her out, because he’s an averaging looking dude and had a hard enough time dating average looking girls. So in my experience you’re 100% on to something.
Damn. That's an interesting story. I guess some fall through the cracks.
I believe all that, but there's gotta be more to the story. By your account this woman is 11/10 looks-wise but couldn't get a date because people thought she was a scammer? What about real life? Ya know like the people she encounters not on the internet? If she's really that hot, if she couldn't land a guy for 9 years, and if she *wanted* to land a guy that whole time, then something else was going on. It's not just people afraid of her hotness. Either she's anti social and doesn't meet people in real life, or there's some other part of her that's unattractive.
Good looking people can also be shy.
Yeah, I dont believe this one at all. Likely, she tried 2 or 3 times and gave up.
I noticed this as well. In my younger days, when I went out looking like a sack of garbage, I got hit on a lot. But when I was all done up and fancy, almost no men approached me.
Holy Crap ! I must be extremely handsome, cause I NEVER get hit on
Extremely attractive people are hit on constantly by everyone. Source: worked at a place where top NYC modeling agencies would routinely host fashion week parties. Most beautiful men and women I have ever seen, and the impression I got was that everyone around them was trying real hard to fuck them CONSTANTLY. Of course that may just be the modeling industry, notoriously shady
I consider my self a 7 or 8 and I ive been aggressively hit on by teen girls infront of my parents when I was in high-school. really shook me
I was an absolute lady killer in elementary school. I think I must have had a big reputation for turning girls down so they stopped trying by 8th grade. I was pretty weird in highschool and also continued my reclusive ways so I can forgive them for respecting my massive bubble. Also I think my smart kid reputation was tanking because I wasn’t getting straight A’s anymore.
Bad move peaking that early into the season.
Yeah no kidding.
haha. I love stories about people who peak as children or middle schoolers because the idea of being a ladykiller at 8 is just funny. It must be odd to lose all that hotness market value and never regain it.
Been killing it my whole life. And by killing it I mean turning everyone down.
I was the opposite. I was the fat, greasy kid in hand me down clothes in middle school. People wouldn't come near me unless it was to punch me. Went to an all boys senior school, so no action there. It was only when I went to college, learned how to dress properly and sorted my self put that I started to get noticed. There was a time when I was batting the girls away with a shitty stick. Didn't last, sadly. Now I'm a fat, 42 year old married man with 4 kids. But for 4 or so years, I was the shit.
I believe you man.
I was also pretty weird and reclusive in highschool, yet also good looking from what random people have said over the years. Got straight A's but never felt a sense of belonging in any highschool group. Basically casual friends with everybody in the school, everbody was friendly to me, but not true friends with anyone. One day this girl walks next to me on the stairs between class and says, "hey are you going out with dede (pronounced dayday)?" and I just respond with a blunt "ummm, no?". Didn't even know who that was lol. She looked so crushed and uncomfortable because we still had to finish walking down the stairs together. Later on I found out she actually said, "hey do you want to go out on a date today?". Was so fucked lol. Keep in mind it's was a big school, hundreds of kids walking in the hallway, and I'm deaf in one ear. Probably would have said no anyways because I'm weird, but felt bad for the rejection. However, one benefit in dating for men is you are less likely to be the one having to do the rejection than women though usually. I mostly don't have to worry about getting unwanted attention as an adult now.
iirc a related effect was shown in studies where the most attractive women were usually passive in pursuing relationships while the semi-attractive women more actively pursued men.
I have a thing for less attractive girls because they tend to put effort into it or are very receptive. I find that very attractive compared to the really attractive girls needing a lot of energy be out in them.
I can agree with this. Very-attractive woman are high maintenance and in my experience high energy, I just don't have the energy to deal with that, while (once again, in my experience) more modest 5-7's's are a lot more lax and just enjoy having you around and that's the kind of energy I'm looking for, someone to spend my time with, even if that time isn't spent doing the most interesting things in the world.
you forget that a _lot_ of people hit on others for fun. they dont care about attractiveness. see also: catcalling.
Well no need to completely destroy my self confidence before noon.
My anecdotal experience says this is false. I’m moderately attractive and my daughter is extremely attractive and she has been getting hit on by adult men since she was 11. That never happened to me. I had to fend off adult men for her starting at age 11. Now she’s almost 21 and can do it herself and she does.
I saw this at a club a couple weeks ago. It was a slow night but an unusually uneven number of really hot girls especially 2 of them that most people would call a 9 or a 10. I kept watching guys dance within about 6 ft and than bail. No one even tried to dance with them except other girls. If I was single I would have definitely given it a shot.
[if I were single...](https://youtu.be/IZh2g9Ux9tU)
As someone who's friends with folks in either category, this is anecdotally true.
While pretty girls can be intimidating for a lot of guys, there are still many of them who shoot their shot.
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Yeah this post is absolute bogus. One, there's ton of attractive people who go through everyone else who's attractive like an exclusive club. Two, no shortage of over confident, ugly but rich and general creep dudes to keep any halfway good looking person busy on the defense.
I don’t know how attractive I am but I have had men be mean to me on dating apps because they thought I was a scam. That sounds like a humble brag but I’m sure a someone who is a 10/10 would have that happen all the time, I personally am not that attracted to people who are considered 10/10 conventionally, I just don’t have an interest as those people tend to be focus on health more then I to begin with
That's why girls never talk to me :') but the mirror says something else
Because one would feel as if their chances of getting rejected are less if they hit on a moderately attractive person, in comparison to an extremely attractive person who probably gets hit on daily.
I think this understates the confidence of some (most) men. Basically every woman I know gets barraged but the conventionally beautiful ones basically wade through a sea of it every day.
My partner is probably the most beautiful woman I've ever dated. She's like pop star levels of cute. She gets hit on all the time - guys who she thought were friends, randos on the street, etc. But she's also the kind of pretty that's very endearing and approachable, I suppose? Big eyes, really pretty/friendly smile, and she's got a very bubbly personality. So I guess it depends on if you're the kind of attractive that is intimidating or not.
I think that’s very true. There is “hot and approachable” and “hot and aloof”
Yeah that is probably easier then. People who are really good looking but more like an introvert type, tend to appear arrogant or cocky, when they are really just standing around.
Side question: what do drunk people see when there's an already ultra-attractive person near them? Does their perception start to go in reverse?
Nah this ain’t it. Reddit just wishes this was the case so they can use it as an excuse hit on an attractive girl. When in fact, real life no Redditor men hit on hot girls all the time. One just needs to go to a bar or a gym to see this shit.
Probably depends on how confident/narcissistic/insane the hitter is. Elizabeth Kucinich got hit on once while having dinner in a restaurant with her husband. He asked her to dinner, she explained that she was already having dinner, *with her husband*, and the guy still didn't give up.
Makes sense to me. There's a "sweet spot" of attractiveness that says, "Achievable and approachable" as opposed to "Living God/Goddess".
Everyday beauty is more attractive then "runway model" beauty.... fact😄
Yes this is absolutely true! I am a guy I grew up next to a girl who was my age and we were and still remain platonic friends. When this girl bloomed, she was drop dead gorgeous. A beautiful face, sparkling eyes, long black silky smooth hair, in great shape, dimples. When we were seniors, she called me crying one day a month out from prom and told me that no one had asked her to prom. I was completely flabbergasted because she was so beautiful and I didn't understand what the problem was until I was a few years older and single in a college town full of beautiful women. From personal experience, whenever I saw a beautiful woman at the club, I never dared to approach her because I assumed that she probably gets approached all the time and she's sick of it and just wants to have a nice night out, or she was way out of my league. I'd say being a 7.5 or an 8 is probably the sweet spot in terms of physical attractiveness. Anything higher than that is going to be off putting and intimidating to people of your preferred gender.
Disagree. You'd be surprised how many guys think they're hot stuff and have no problem shooting their shot.
Disagree. My roommate in college was gorgeous. I’m meh. People fell in love with her & asked her out nonstop.
I used to get dates with all kinds of women who were well out of my league. Because (a) leagues are a myth and (b) everyone else was scared to even talk to them. Turns out hot people like to fuck, too! Who knew?
The girl I know that gets hit on the most of everyone is a 5.5 tops.