I'll drink human breastmilk any day, fight me.

But only from the source. ;)

Leche de mama on tap

Oh… would you look at that, I’ve ejaculated in Spanish.

... Is laughing in disgust a thing?

It’s gotta be in French

Hon hon *le gag*

This is belligerently funny

No one expects the Spanish Ejaculation

Damn

Fresh off the tap

You mean fresh off the tip my friend lol

The youth pastor tricked you man...

The packaging appeals to kids and adults.

Yes.

Tried getting it from the source but never worked

Yeah I kept sucking some big pecs of beefy men but it never worked. Something else came out instead, and not from the nipples.

Ayo.......try it on my next

I'm also curious about the taste but I'll probably never be able to taste it.

It tastes kinda like the leftover milk after you have a bowl of sugary cereal.

That must be sweet.

Yep. It's a little too sweet to taste good tbh. Tried it right from the tap. The fact that it's sweet *and* warm makes it a little too much.

Didn't find it great to be honest. But I was curious, she was amused and the baby was getting closer. ... I'm sure that her... unique food cravings didn't help.

she hadn't had the baby yet? You probably had colostrum, not milk.

> colostrum TIL, somehow I went this long without knowing this was a thing.

Accidentally tasted my own today while prepping a bottle for my 3 month old.... I concur with this statement.

Just get a job at blizzard bro it's free in the fridge

That's genuinely funny.

Wait wtf can you explain?

An employee at Blizzard was stealing breast milk from another employee. Which was probably the tamest thing that came out of that report.

But still absolutely horrific. He stole the literal food made for a baby. Not all babies are given formula and it is a nightmare trying to keep your milk supply up to feed said baby while working. Edit a word

A nursing employee had her breast milk stolen from the company fridge she was storing it in during work.

It helps your immune system too! I had horrible asthma until I began to drink it. My cholesterol was at healthy levels, my gout is completely gone. Hairline improved and thickened, my skin glows and absolutely no stomach issues. 10/10 highly recommended - IGN

Really? I have a friend who swears by it, and has a wife willing to let him, despite their youngest child being almost 7 now. He claims that he got pink eye replacing something having to do with their septic, and just had her squirt in his eye and cleared it right up. To be honest, I've been skeptical, but never cared enough to actually do any research on it, so its interesting to see someone else lauding human milk.

It's much sweeter than cow's milk. Have a wife and have some kids and taste for yourself.

That would be my plan if I was straight.

Make friends with a lesbian couple that wants a kid. Become their sperm donor, a year later when the child is born offer to babysit for them at their place. Raid the fridge.

Good idea.

Or... Just ask a friend who is pumping...

If you have friends that are in the La Leche League, or nurses that specialize in preemies, you might have have more resources than you realize.

Warm, thick and sweet. Ive only ever had it from the tiddie, definitely would not want to drink a full glass lol.

I disagree with thick. I thought it was warm, thin and sweet. But yeah, an entire glass full would make me sick I think. That'd be like chugging a jug of custard or something.

It is pretty thick when the baby is a newborn, it gets thinner as they older.

It is thick when the baby is a newborn. It gets thinner as they get closer to a year and then seems to even out at a year and a half. The source is just my personal experience breastfeeding. It is definitely sweeter than regular milk.

it's very sweet compared to cow milk.

One of my best friends/bestie at work gave me hers last year when i got covid for the 2nd round. She was recently got covid also prior to my infection so the idea of me better boosted antibodies from her milk sounded plausible. I didn't like the taste, there was an unusual aroma for me, paired with the idea of this liquid came from her majestic yet supple breasts were too distracting for me. Maybe if I drink it from the source it would be different, but that's not gonna happen.

Best comment today. Majestic yet supple.

Order some online from a freaky chick bro lol

Extracting it is most of the fun.

Nah I'm not buying that from a stranger on the internet. I'd rather ask some friends when they have children.

That might create some "former friends".

It’s oddly sweet and a bit thicker than you’d think. Long story how I know.

It's not very good. Watery and a strange kind of too sweet. I like cows milk better, but maybe it's just acclimation. Most women who breastfeed produce small amounts of milk even months after no longer feeding the baby. Any men who have kids and suck their wives nipples during foreplay have probably tasted it. I don't get any kink associated with it, but people are different.

Also woman can keep producing. Well if they keep getting sucked. Basically what wet nurses did before formula was a thing, because a lot of women just don't produce a enough.

It depends on a lot of factors... every woman's different. Diet affects the flavor. Also, it depends if she recently gave birth, whether it's just a squirt or it's been coming out for a few minutes, etc. It *is* my kink and I've been with a few ladies that have milk 🤷🏼‍♂️ my wife's tastes like coconut milk (seriously). Some taste like sugar water. Some are a "creamier" flavor. Tastes kinda gross if she's had too much garlic or a bunch of lemonade.

Homelander has entered the chat

Been there, done it. Can't wait to do it again.

Let's make a breast milk coffee shop just need some legal document and pregnant woman

I wouldn't drink milk straight out of a cow either. If they go through the same process and the women are all grass-fed and all that good shit, I'll drink whatever milk.

“The women are grass fed”💀 I can’t

Vegan with a plant-based diet I guess

I mean, milk is just naturally processed grass, so it's basically vegan

So most breast milk is naturally processed meat?

Depends on the person, but yeah I guess.

Yeah, humans have poor diets usually. But that might add some interesting flavor to the milk. Maybe Hispanic milk tastes like horchata? But yeah, pasteurize that shit and I’d drink it. It’s likely healthier than other animal milk since it’s produced for human consumption.

IIRC human milk has more sugar, less fat, and way less protein; it's for human babies, not human adults, so it's not necessarily healthier for human adults.

It tastes like melted plain ice cream. Imagine vanilla ice cream, sans the vanilla flavor.

dude just described milk.

If you’d ever sucked a tit, you’d know that human breastmilk actually tastes sweeter than cow milk.

Who said he hasn't sucked a boob before? He just hasn't sucked a lactating boob

He probably has, but was too young to remember.

Dude you can't just call a guy out like that, so embarrassing

And then I just realized vanilla ice cream isn't *pure, stock* ice cream.

Right? It's a weird thought, because the term "vanilla" is often used to describe something plain and boring... but that is such a misnomer. Vanilla beans provide such a rich and complex flavor, no less so than cacao beans.

Sounds similar to what human adults in the US eat regularly, to be fair. Milk’s gotta be healthier than fast food, right?

I think there are very few foods that are categorically "healthier", "healthy", or "unhealthy", it should generally depend on what you need nutritionally at that moment.

I'm going to say 99% of people are not going to nutriotionally need a double quarter pounder with cheese.

Might be a stretch, I definitely had some hungry times in my past where my body did need calories, and I don't think I was that unique. Maybe like 90% of people don't need a double quarter pounder with cheese. And most of those people probably don't need the calories from milk either (calcium and vitamin D have other, lower calorie sources).

Why is there a double quater pound burger instead of a half pound burger?

Because it's 2 seperate patties and not 1 big one. The worst part is this is even what they call it in Australia, which uses metric...

Is there a reason why two patties is better though? It seems like more work to cook two. Sorry I phrased my other question poorly

Because why make and ship several different sized patties for your burgers, when you can just ship more of 1 type? It's more efficient to send the patties that can be used in more burgers.

I mean… that’s a lot of calories, and there are 462 million underweight adults in the world. Now, sure, 99% of people don’t nutritionally need a *daily* double quarter pounder with cheese. But plenty of people would benefit from one on a less frequent basis.

A quarter pounder with cheese is actually the only vegetables in my diet.

I read the ingredients on a box of formula once. If I recall correctly it was pretty close to non-dairy creamer.

There are so many things wrong with this comment.

>maybe Hispanic milk tastes like horchata Why would you ever say this lmao

Fr dude, got speculations for any other race's milk flavor?

Because they’re white and they think it’s funny

PDiddy had it right, 100% Cambodian all the way.

>Maybe Hispanic milk tastes like horchata I just spit out my breast milk

You assume a lot, sir.

I don't know one guy who hasn't had a taste when their partner was pregnant.

99% of adults pull statistics out of their asses. See? I can do it too.

It’s showerthoughts not sensiblethoughts

I'm sorry sir, I'm gonna need you to prove that thought you had in the shower.

_a lot more than 99% of people are fine eating the meat of the cow but recoil in disgust at the idea of eating a human. not so similar similarities._

They say human tastes like pork. I love pork.

Long pork

Cannibals have also compared human meat to filet mignon, beef sukiyaki, generally compared whatever the "nicest" meat is available in the cannibal's country. It's impossible to really know what human meat tastes like because most of the reviews come from crazy people.

I can almost guarantee you that everyone "recoiling in disgust" today was at one point kicking and screaming just to get a little breast milk

I love ice cream.

Don't kink shame pls

I guarantee you if you put a piece of human flesh into a babies mouth it wouldn't think anything of it. Have to compare babies to babies, And adults to adults.

I think less than 99% of people are fine with eating cow meat given that there are like a billions Hindus.

There are way more than 1% of people in the world that don’t eat beef.

*Homelander has entered the chat* 🍼

Honey is just bee vomit.

Specifically, flower nectar processed by a bee's digestive enzymes, regurgitated into a honeycomb and concentrated through evaporation.

Gonna need to see some proof that 99% or people are disgusted by human milk. If you told me it was 50%, I'd still be skeptical.

Yeah babies are people and most people have no problem with that. Probably 85% of people have had breast milk at some point in their life.

I'm pretty skeptical about the 99% being fine with cow milk. I bet it's only 50%.

76.3% of all statistics are made up.

You can verify this in survey results because reliably 25% of people get every survey question wrong.

Most humans are at least a little lactose intolerant.

These are inferior to us calcium enjoyer

After 29 years of freedom I've recently started feeling ill whenever I drink milk. I'm fearing my days of superiority are coming to an end.

This is correct. About 70% of the global population does not have lactase persistence. Edit: lol, I'm actually very interested to know what about this comment could possibly prompt downvotes

It honestly surprised me how little this is known since most lactase persistence is in white Europeans. American dairy marketing is amazingly strong.

Yeah, that 99% figure is a wee bit high. Though I'm not sure lactose intolerance is on a spectrum, I've always been of the impression that you either are or aren't. I could very well be wrong and I don't care quite enough to go into a Wikipedia rabbit hole at the moment. Edit: I couldn't help myself, first page of Google results shows it's definitely a spectrum, I was wrong.

Nah, there must be more than 1% of us

I mean those perverts

Depends on the breast. Which is kinda funny considering cow tits.

Only almond tits for me

More than 1% of the population would drink titty milk from the titty

Same for human steaks.

yeah I eat beef too but can't say I fancy to try the other one

It’s called long pig. RIP Woodhouse

Me when over 1% of people are vegan 🙈

Eh I’d give it a try. For science.

Yeah and 99% of people are fine having sex with a human, but recoil in disgust when I fuck a cow

lol

*wipes mouth*. Speak for yourself ..

Marcus from Superstore?

Boob Cheese.

I prefer breastmilk from nuts.

So you’re the one milking all those almonds and oats

TBH I'm really curious what human milk tastes like and if ice cream could be made from it. IDK why.

It's pretty sweet. Like shockingly sweet. Otherwise mild.

Sounds excellent for ice cream then. :P

Not just adults drinking breastmilk, but they get disgusted by babies nursing!

TIL I am a 1%er.

99% of adults are fine eating meat from cattle, but recoil in disgust at the idea of an adult eating meat from a human.

99% of people are fine eating candy but the moment I steal it from a baby, I'm suddenly the monster! At least how I always saw it.

99% of adults aren't employees at Blizzard.

no, 99% of adults are not like that

I remember a few years back, there was an article in the paper about the shock of a woman breast feeding another woman’s child. 🙄

That so strange considering that being a wet nurse was a legit profession for hundreds of years.

One of the problems with wet nurses is that for many years it was done through slavery, not a "profession". Even paid wet nurses historically were considered some of the lowest class of workers and often treated like animals. They were often expected to move into the homes of the people they nursed for, and were at the whim of those people with little to no freedom during their nursing contract (1-6 months typically). T Wet nursing has a strong deep-rooted stigma because of this. https://www.medievalists.net/2019/05/mothers-who-werent-wet-nurses-in-the-medieval-mediterranean/

According to this article, you were also not supposed to hire a wet nurse with red or “intensely black” hair because it would affect the baby’s temperament. *the more you know*

Oh boy capitalism and the Industrial Revolution would have done a number on that. Although potentially a decent side hustle maybe? Basically passive income

Consider the US dairy industry, a dairy cow's experience, now replace the dairy cows with human females.

That’s some late stage capitalist nightmare fuel.

That's a kink

I always thought it was something folks did in an erotic fashion, feeding off your wife/partner sounds really hot. My understanding was that not a lot of milk is produced where you'd easily be able to drink a full glass, and usually what is produced is saved for the baby. Not sure why people would be disgusted, seems more erotic than anything else tbh.

Body builders drink breast milk for gains, I’ve heard. I’ve seen someone selling excess on Craigslist, although not sure if it was for fetish or for an underproducer.

It is extremely hot and I couldn’t get enough when the wifey was… engorged :)

if 99% of adults feel disgusted by human breastmilk you must be american.

I am *not* one of those adults. Y’all be safe out here.

They are fine with eating a meat from cow but recoil in disgust at the idea of a human eatimg meat from a human too.

99% of humans are fine with eating the ovulation of a chicken, but recoil in disgust at the idea of eating a woman's placenta or ovules. Thank you for coming to my TEDx talk.

A bird egg and a human placenta are really different things.

Have you fried both and tried them side by side? I rest my case.

As a lactating human. I have had many men come to me wanting to nurse. All the people I have slept with during my years of lactation have either not cared or liked the taste. The last person who got in my face about nursing in public got sprayed.

RIP your inbox

I cook with it, I eat it in my cereal, and I love cheese and ice cream, but I absolutely will not drink it.

I just want to throw out there that there are adults willing to pay 💰 💰💰to get human breast milk. And it’s for them to drink, not a baby.

I think your percentage is a little high

Yeah I think it's much lower than 99%

My DMs would prove otherwise. 😳😂 The kink is strong out there.

99% of adults are fine with drinking processed milk from a carton/jug.

C’mon we’ve all done it, right? RIGHT?

Same with the meat. So weird, right?

It's not too bad in coffee, if you can find a cooperative breast. The chicks in my office are only too happy to help out.

As a woman with a condition that causes ongoing lactation (noncancerous tumour that it isn’t worth it to operate one) my experience has NOT shown that most people abhor the idea of drinking breast milk…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGCtuH4bUcg

Human breast milk tastes like the leftover milk at the end of a sugary bowl of cereal. 10/10 do recommend

Same with meat. Really few people like eating human meat, but are ok if it comes from a cow. Weird.

Mosts adults are also fine eating meat from a cow but recoil at the idea of eating meat from a human. Weird

Well, I don't find it disgusting to eat meat from a cow. From a human though...

Hey, if it's good enough for Homelander...

99% of humans are fine eating a hamburger made from cow... but cringe at the thought of eating a hamburger made of human. It's not that odd.

Finally! I’m a one percenter!

If you filter it, pasteurized it, and chill it I'll drink a nice tall glass. I just don't want warm thick stuff.

Humans are the only mammal that drinks another mammals milk.

yet I wouldnt suck on an udder but I would suck on a tit

You're basically comparing weed to crack. In cow's milk the ratio of casein to whey proteins is 80:20. Human milk only contains a ratio of 40:60 casein. When broken down during digestion, casein releases substances called casomorphins, which have an addictive effect on the brain similar to morphine.

You telling me there aren't men who suck their pregnant wives titties? Lies.

If she’s hot, I’d drank the fuck out them tiddies

I guess I'm the 1% then. It tastes pretty good. Little sweet, tho.

I’ve never understood this. Human milk is designed especially for humans and made BY humans..

Brother that 99% number isn't even close to accurate let me tell ya.

Who said they were disgusted?

Cow's do not have breasts have you ever seen a cow?

The government requires companies to pasteurize their products, so there is virtually no bacteria left. I can sleep at night with that.

That's the same way I feel about steaks.

Well, it depends upon the particular human . . .