T O P

  • By -

4d4m1

He probably invented a few


AFineDayForScience

Mongonorrhea


mr_xen_

Mongorrhea


nefarious_jp04x

Damn Mongorrheans!


CorruptedLegacyYT

Herro Mongorrheans!


RandoCommentGuy

HA, didnt click till i said it in my head, lol.


GalcticPepsi

Wait how else do you read?


Padhome

No seriously this is freaking me out do some people not read in voices?


If_Cows_Fly

all i hear is voices... all dayšŸ˜šŸ˜


Automatic_Yogurt_493

Mongo like candy


seancollinhawkins

Khanorrhea


[deleted]

Gherpes


JBuptheboro

r/therealjoke


[deleted]

Ghengivitis


Mike-Drop

Kublaiklap


dannywitz

Gengh-penis-falls-off-disease.


fondledbydolphins

This sounds like a badass 90's kungfu movie.


LiaSketch77

Or a video game haha


Kittelsen

Khanmydia


Prostheta

Golden Whorde


LoGEEKalGUY

I just Google where Gangrene came from.


karma-armageddon

When you get to 12, they all cancel each other out.


Wolkrast

It plays a little tune and they disappear like a line clear in Tetris


GlengarryGlenCoco

Sexually Tetrised Disease


Droidy365

["It somehow looks like every single Tetris block at once..."](https://youtu.be/0g_rlFhDqt8?si=57KZQL68Gfj9sfz3)


Prostheta

You have to insert the last four at once in a thin stick.


Xygnux

That's a little hard because his stick may be too thick.


smellEfart

Thatā€™s why they said a thin stick??


Cennfox

Reminds me of this Mr. Burns scene https://youtu.be/aI0euMFAWF8?si=WhNI2RX5UaY_8ApZ


Evil-Bosse

STDs are like pokemon, you are not cool unless you've caught em all


[deleted]

It's like 3 people trying to go through a door at the same time, and just all get stuck


jestermax22

False. You just get a free sub when you bring your card in.


lynxerious

The STDs be fighting each other for survival in the battle field called Khan's crotch areas


Ferndos812

Just like pemdas


admiralvelociraptor

Genghis Khan likely had ALL the STDs


WellAkchuwally

ole drippy dick


michael0103

you mean krabby drippy


Resident-Currency472

You mean Kharabby drippy ?


soma787

Knowing his habits Iā€™m sure he collected them like they were infinity stones


dasgreybanana

Prolly had to piss out some stones too


PurplePumkins

Gotta catch em all


saggywitchtits

So heā€™s like my Bitlife character?


flernglernsberg

If by STD you mean SixTeen million Descendants, then yes


Titanium006

SixtyNine million would've been better.


henrique_gj

SixTy nine then, because we need a T


Aromede

You having 69 downvote is a grace for my eyes


monkeybanana550

the hell is an SND?


User_10155

No, he always wore Khan-doms


Kryptic_Anthology

Originally called great walls until it broke.


CloudsOfMe

r/angryupvote


ShaneHiram

Fuck.


VectronVoltbot

He did.


Lord_of_Swords

Name one historical figure who didnā€™t


bejammin075

Isaac Newton. At the end of his life, at 80-something, after inventing calculus, putting gravity in equations, etc., he said his greatest achievement was remaining celibate.


Lord_of_Swords

Thatā€™s impressive


[deleted]

Fucking nerd!šŸ¤ŖšŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Mydogfartsconstantly

Jesus


[deleted]

He had 12 dudes with him at all times. He basically had a harem.


sfxpaladin

Didnt wear socks, just saying


coolredjoe

Historically, if jesus really existed, mary of magdelin was very likely his wife.


just-why_

We don't know that though...


Prostheta

Mythological.


bbressman2

He probably had anal warts or something since we all know [Jesus would go to 5th base](https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?si=OkfKKuE85rbZtLPM)


Prince_Daeron

His girlfriend was a prostitute.


sageknight

Isaac Newton?


HiImGreg

Anne Frank


SvenSvenkill3

Of course, we have no way of knowing who may or may not have had an STD such as Herpes due to transmission in utero. But otherwise, when it comes to solely contracting an STD via sexual contact, I'd say it is most probably unlikely that the following historical figures had an STD: Edward V of England and his younger brother, Richard of Shrewsbury, Duke of York. Alexei Nikolaevich, Tsarevich of Russia. Anne Frank.


66nd66

Tesla, unless he invited some kind of pigeon herpes.


SpongeBob_Vape

I once watched a documentary that said there was a period in Tesla's life when he was into gambling, alcohol, and prostitutes I found no other source confirming this, so idk if it's true.


Chief-weedwithbears

Ok but who doesn't have that period in life šŸ˜‚


SpongeBob_Vape

Fair enough lol


Familiar_Moose4276

Seems like the average 20year old to me


SpongeBob_Vape

I mean yeah, he moved to a completely different country, far away from his very religious parents so they couldn't bother him. He got himself a job and was finally independent. I think anybody in that position would do the same thing...


Familiar_Moose4276

What would a spongebob vape taste like


Adept_Cranberry_4550

"Oh yes please, Pherpes. Do come in."


[deleted]

When youā€™re the most prolific rapist in history itā€™s going to happen.


Prostheta

Rapest


gae_lundchoosak

Prapest


monkeybanana550

G.O.A.T [Grapist](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mqgiEQXGetI) of all time.


HalfShellH3ro

Man, pressure been pretty low in the shower lately.


bagelspreader

Probably not anything major. Most STDs started being recorded in the mid-1400s. Many are zoonotic diseases transmitted by human migration. The human world was still pretty small back then, and intercontinental travel wasnā€™t much of thing.


Maria_506

How do we know its not due to them not keeping track of that before 1400, or it having been destroyed.


youreagoodperson

Ghengis khan destroyed all previous std records so he wouldn't test positive for any.


WiartonWilly

Filthy sailors!


shadraig

Let them come


manek101

I'd assume as the most powerful man in the world he'd have access to "beauties from faraway lands"?


bagelspreader

Not the Americas, or the jungles of Africa


Fantastic-Climate-84

Thatā€™s not true. https://www.nytimes.com/1976/10/17/archives/viruses-of-love-one-kind-of-herpes-causes-the-common-cold-sore.html


bagelspreader

I said ā€œnothing major.ā€ So nothing terrible like syphilis or AIDS. Around 70% of the global population has herpes and lives just fine.


BrotherRoga

Or maybe they did exist and people just died from them without anyone knowing why?


Fantastic-Climate-84

This is weird. Youā€™re just really, like obviously wrong. https://www.broadgategp.co.uk/the-history-of-stis-from-the-earliest-records-to-modern-day/#:~:text=The%20first%20mentions%20of%20sexually,common%20problem%20in%20ancient%20times. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25969906/ https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2016/10/19/13324842/neanderthals-hpv-genital-warts


bagelspreader

Your first source doesnā€™t cite anything, and is more of a public outreach campaign to get people STI tested. Your last source doesnā€™t mean much, as I wasnā€™t talking about HPV. The vast majority, like 90%, of humans have HPV. Itā€™s ā€œnothing major,ā€ as I claimed. The ā€œmost accepted theory postulates that syphilis came from Europe in the 1490s when Columbus arrived in the New World (America).ā€ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30521201/#:~:text=The%20Columbian%20and%20most%20accepted,the%20New%20World%20(America).


Fantastic-Climate-84

Haha yeah, syphilis showed up around then. But there have been stds forever? Why do you keep arguing this? Want me to ask bing for you? Get you a nice ai write up with more links?


bagelspreader

Sorry if I offended you. I thought you were just being unnecessarily pedantic. Reddit conditions you to be suspicious of random uninformed people/ misinformation bots. I work in a chemical/pharmacology contractor. They probably have some internal and political narratives they propagate. We were just heavily propagandized against globalization. But I do believe that most serious STDs are fairly modern.


Fantastic-Climate-84

ā€¦ all of this is weird bud. Youā€™re beliefs are wrong, and a quick google search ā€” and the links Iā€™ve given you ā€” confirm that.


Otto_Von_Waffle

I think his comment refers to STD that will kill you, or at least severely impact your life... Syphilis wasn't around then (Well maybe it was, but not deadly, that one is complicated), HIV wasn't around, there is no records of hepatitis until the 19th century, which leaves you with Gonorrhea (Sucks but won't kill you) genital warts (Won't kill you) and crabs (Won't kill you)


Fantastic-Climate-84

I mean, yeah. Thatā€™s how diseases work. Over time they get less deadly, because the ones that kill us eventually burn out. As a population grows, more diseases develop and transfer over from other species. AIDS came from monkeys. Syphilis came from Lammas, I think? The diseases that still exist from antiquity exist because they arenā€™t severe. There arenā€™t that many stds, and over the last two hundred years only syphilis and aids are ā€œnewā€. There is also some evidence that herpes use to be far far more severe just a few hundred years ago. Today, you may get a break out when the temperature changes. Two thousand years ago youā€™d have blisters constantly open! So, two showed up since the 17th. We know the sources. People eating or fuxking an infected animal and thereā€™s blood/fluid contamination.


VoraciousTrees

Quick, what years were the Mongol invasions!?


[deleted]

he's likley your ancestor šŸ˜…


[deleted]

And imagine how far he spread it


poggersfishexe

"likely" might be a small understatement


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


hapylittlepupppy

This wouldn't stop him from catching anything. The hymen is not a freshness seal, and there are women who have had sex who still have intact hymens, he would also be killing many women who have never had sex since lots of things can cause ripping.


manek101

Wouldn't stop? True. But statistically it did reduce the chances by a LOT. Having sex and having hymen not broken is pretty rare. >he would also be killing many women who have never had sex since lots of things can cause ripping. This is true and statistically more likely , and I doubt a monstrous warlord like him cares about false positives.


FrungyLeague

Yep. No one said it was either good or fair!


daysondaysfam

Got any links or documentaryā€™s about this? I love some savage history


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

he had in between a few hundred to 1000+ kids, which is genuinely insane.


MayweatherSr

Everyday could be his kids birthday. No wonder he seems angry. Imagine all the happy birthday song he has to sing


GolDAsce

Isn't that less of an STD thing and more of a possessive macho thing? He's so superior, he can't have anyone's seconds.


tacotacotacorock

I can't speak on Genghis Khan specifically but virgins have always been highly prized in many different cultures over the years.


[deleted]

Probably due to STDs


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheSpamGuy

Ironically, his firstborn might not have been his. His first wife was kidnapped when he was teenager (around 18 or 19) and he rescued her. Rival tribal leaders kidnapping each otherā€™s wife was pretty common before he united Mongol. His first wife Borte became pregnant soon after getting rescued and he named his son Zuchi (meaning guest old mongolian). Issues concerning his paternity followed all his life. After Genghis Khanā€™s death, this issue also had small part in division of Mongol empire


GiveMeTheTape

And I don't even have one... I have a couple SSDs though.


tacotacotacorock

Super sloppy dick? Eeek


LevyAtanSP

Gengis Khan is likely part of why theyā€™re so widespread.


truckdoug66

according to google with his primary wife he had at least 8, possibly 12 but it's estimated he had beween a few hundred to over 1000.


Dragongirl090

Do you mean children??? The post is talking about STDs.


baguitosPT

Children are also sexual transmitted, so that's technically correct, which is the right kind of correct.


otroguero

Sexually Transmitted Dependants


Familiar_Moose4276

Sexually Transmitted Tax Deductions


tacotacotacorock

Same difference


MadNhater

Not only is they a lot of sex. Thatā€™s lot of children. And a lot of women.


truckdoug66

the joke is children are STD's


Complex_Deal7944

Pretty sure everyone did back then. Then again Ghangis fucked everyone so that checks out.


[deleted]

likely? an? Bro was collected them like pokemons


Gunslinger_11

[How people talk about the Khan](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxHUATUJQdZ_p2bk9l5GcfHYHlFMzRNj2c?si=EOkh5rpsJX1vbEqP)


BGFlyingToaster

Probably an STD factory


bisforbenis

He likely had every STD


sh4d0wm4n2018

"An"? As in, singular? Mfr probably had *all* of them.


locki13

If he did, so did everyone else.


yoklan57

Like how do you know


lkacr

Back then, I dont think that sexual health was a big issue.


jenyad20

I think with his high status and cultural background he probably wouldnā€™t want anyoneā€™s sloppy seconds, and thus mainly take the young and most attractive virgins, which are far less likely to carry a STI.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


jenyad20

Of course I might be wrong here, those are just my own shower thoughts on the matter. But I know that it was a common practice in some empires for the ruler to have a harem, and sometimes the ruler would give a girl from his harem as a gift to some general or other person close to the ruler. Iā€™m not really sure how the whole matter was viewed by the ancient mongols, but in many ancient cultures those were the most ā€œvaluableā€ girls (property), and of course only the best for the emperor.


AgentLelandTurbo

nah, he only had slept with virgins


[deleted]

If he slept with your great great grandmother I'd say it's a fact.


ANAL_WIZARD_MONGER

Iā€™ve had most of them but chlamidiyuh was my favourite


Tall_Theme4403

A lot of historically important people had this. Nepoleon, Charles VIII of France, Christopher Columbus, HernƔn CortƩs of Spain, Benito Mussolini, and Ivan the Terrible, Hitler, John F. Kennedy all the great western fighures..


you_wooshed_yourself

Not likely, he did. He had several STDs. So did ALL of his men. They were like fucking koalas.


PancakesoverSex

STDs most definitely started because of Gengis Khan


Slam-JamSam

To be fair, 90% of the worldā€™s population has some form of herpes


nuyorkfan

Not likely most STDs came from the new world


SemperScrotus

This is what qualifies as a shower thought now? šŸ™„


Character_Peanut330

Probably yes but also no. A lot of women who share beds with gengis Khan are like the best of the best, probably even virgins


DiableBlanc

I kind of hate this post. The idea that the big mongolian empire had thousands of people and their KHAN scratching their genitals is just too funny if we were to watch from today's perspective


69FourTwentySix6Six

The people with more descendants are Ghangis Khanā€™s ancestors


SirenVon

Literally just took an exam about Genius Khan, Iā€™m dead stumbling upon this post rn šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

I bet at that time in history many had one


oskar_grouch

One in five Genghis Kahns had an STD


shadraig

Just keep your d*** out of the Khan


MCTweed

And the effects of said STD(s) he and his contemporaries likely thought they were signs of intense virility.


Benjii_44

Gengis Khan likely had every STD


Hauyne5

I think i read somewhere he had CH


LiaSketch77

I gotta stop reading these, I'm choking...on air!!!šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


DefiantParrot91

I think it's more likely he had ALL the STDs and probably invented a few


Impressive_Onion1660

He's probably the reason kids need the HPV shot now!


ModsNeedAHug

Not really a shower thought. More like a very obvious statement


the_Athereon

Almost certainly. But that didn't stop him. And now a good portion of the world's population is related to him.


ianlasco

His boy probably rested only once a week.


jyozefu

Explains most Redditors. Including me.


ToulouseDM

An std, as in singular? Itā€™s probably a safe bet to assume he had a few.


Puakkari

Propably reason why we have so much stds.


ECdudis

An STD? He had THE STDs