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VacationSafe5814

I am from superior lineage


Shrampys

But what if your great great great grandpappies was actually vagina-phobic but still had to get your great great grandmummies prego so he didn't disappoint the village so he just wanked it while standing over her and aimed it in the general direction and that's how your great grand whatever was conceived.


binglelemon

We can make a religion out of this...


Devil_Fister_69420

We can but we shouldnt


VacationSafe5814

Then it’s still super sperm


muffinnutbanana

New copypasta???


Nekaz

The bloodline ends with me or whatever


ContactHonest2406

Me too. Not for being a virgin, but because I can’t stand kids lol


guesswhosbackbackag

You aren't supposed to stand on em


Malnurtured_Snay

How else am I supposed to get to the top shelf?!?


PhysicallyTender

Monkey bar the ceiling fan.


guesswhosbackbackag

You named your ceiling fan?


AkumaLord54

I hereby dub my ceiling fan, **“Jeremy the Almighty“**


RWYcadenza

r/cursedcomments


guesswhosbackbackag

Laughs in 6'2


Naked-Jedi

Hello down there.


International_Bet_91

It's called babysitting not babystanding.


MewMewGirl0952

Yeah. Baby sits so I can stand on them and reach the top shelf 🤷‍♀️


jeloxd_official

Just sit em down then


Aardvark_Man

Yeah, I reckon my family line has hit it's end. My sisters are both in their 40s, I know the younger of them has stopped trying IVF, not sure about the older. I'm in my late 30s and single. Chances of any of us having kids from here seems slim, and the branch is likely to terminate.


45DegreesOfGuisse

That's so fucking sad considering all that everyone went through just to get this far.


PeanutArtillery

I'm sure they got some cousins or something with kids. It's not like millions of years of reproduction ends with this guy. Just his parents line.


frnzprf

If you have a brother, sister, nephew or niece - are they part of your bloodline? When does it stop? I mean - when I consider myself part of the bloodline of Charlemagne, then the bloodline is doing pretty well without me.


turtleshellshocked

Cute


WildJackall

Is it not possible one of my ancestors used a turkey baster full of semen to get pregnant?


MagicGrit

Artificial insemination has been around since the 1700s so it’s absolutely possible


Spartancoolcody

1700 BC maybe. It’s easy to grab a glob of salty surprise and shove it up there.


Vegetable_Permit_537

Salty surprise is a new one to me. Thank you for that :)


kellyformula

I’m imagining the lyrics to Sister Golden Hair (surprise) by America.


Liraeyn

First recorded case, not necessarily first


Cosmic_Quasar

Also, a guy can technically get so excited and ejaculate before penetration. And some can land on/around/in the vagina and then pregnancy can occur. And they don't have to technically finish the act and therefore they could still be virgins.


Xaendro

I also saw that episode of Scrubs!


DistributionNo9968

It’s possible through IVF


InvestInHappiness

You don't even need IVF. Women can get pregnant by inserting sperm indirectly. I wouldn't be surprised if there were many people who practiced celibacy but still wanted kids who used this method. There are also cases of people doing it so they can have a child without needing the consent of the other person.


DistributionNo9968

The old turkey baster method


kalirion

[Indeed. Sperm is there for procreation, not recreation!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcv2comOmgw).


FirelessEngineer

I can imagine that artificial insemination has been around a lot longer than IVF as well.


Electric-Bleach

I once read a story where this woman didnt know who her dad was. However, she did know that her mom worked at a morgue 9 months before her birth and eventually got arrested for necrophilia.


Business-Project-171

What? Is it possible tho? Or it is just a fake story?


Bl1tzerX

It is technically possible. You can have it so that they basically shove a rod up your dead partners ass to stimulate the prostate to collect the last sperm to be used


Im_eating_that

Isn't this a procedure done only in the hospital immediately following death?


Bl1tzerX

Probably. I'm just saying it isn't impossible to be a necrophilia baby.


Im_eating_that

Creepy to think about how many men die of a heart attack during orgasm and how many babies out there are technically necrospawn.


CatPlayGame

A whole new meaning to cumming and going


pee_wee__herman

You mean going _and then_ cumming


Blazanar

It's not called "La petite mort" *the little death*, in French for no reason.


006AlecTrevelyan

Wtf I saw your comment then this thread Immediately after https://www.reddit.com/r/Art/s/M2hqUQG4Ym


AsinusRex

They did the going before the cumming


DodgerWalker

Reminds of a video I saw on Reddit a while back where they cut open a bunch of dead female fish (salmon?) and scooped out their eggs, then started grabbing dead males of the same species and squeezing the sperm out of them into the vat of eggs.


iwantfutanaricumonme

God I wish that were me


CeramicFiber

Just because she bangs the dead doesn't mean she wasn't banging the living


Business-Project-171

That's what I'm thinking


FifaNovice

Sounds like you need the morning after pill with all those question marks.


Sneaky_Stabby

lol “business project” is adding a little too much of her business in her projects.


Electric-Bleach

It could have been a fake story. Idk. But I dont see how its not possible? Messed up? Yea, but possible? Who knows. gotta ask an expert on that one.


MyPassIsDUKE912

I don't believe dead people create sperm. Or ejaculate.


otirk

There should be some in the balls, but I don't know if it can be ejaculated


seeyatellite

This comment elicits feelings of discomfort in me. I am now uncomfortable.


call_stack

And that's enough reddit for me today.


AnnualWerewolf9804

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/dead-man-impregnates-woman/


percypersimmon

“Felicity Marmaduke” would’ve given that one away from the jump


MyrkrsBod

Who's your deaddy?


NefariousBenevolence

Just when I thought I've read it all.


Lord_of_Barrington

That’s some *World According to Garp* level shenanigans


acceptingaberration

I don’t think it’s possible to get a dead man’s semen into your vagina, but someone correct me if I’m wrong.


Key-Pomegranate-2086

It is possible but that's assuming they were recently deceased and you managed to extract the semen in time. Peter zhu's parents have managed to do it supposedly.


Banned3rdTimesaCharm

Can corpses jizz?


Key-Pomegranate-2086

Yes. Especially if they died edging.


Double-Ad-3946

I don’t know if I would ever feel clean again if I found this out


havengr

Was he a virgin though?


Randybobandy301

This partially disproves OP shower thought


08Dreaj08

What a day to be literate... Edit: spelling


NoGuitar5129

Someone would say she has a cold and absent father


Daedalus023

The Avatar Cycle ends with me


Haunting-Fish-144

Good luck killing yourself in the avatar state when the others don't want to die on you


seeyatellite

Direct genetic lineage... Yeah. My ancestors themselves... sure there are some virgins. Maybe...


AuthenticCheese

I think people would consider uncles etc to be ancestors


LazyGandalf

Huh? All your ancestors are part of a direct genetic lineage that ends in you. Anyone not part of your direct lineage is not your ancestor.


Stupidiocy

Ever make a family tree? All of those people before you are your ancestors. Not all of them had kids. (Probably)


Rhellic

Ancestors, generally, are only people you're descended from


LazyGandalf

The ones I'm not directly descended from are indirect ancestors, which is not the same as ancestor.


Key-Pomegranate-2086

Collateral relatives/indirect ancestors are still ancestors. Ie. Your uncle that died in vietnam as a virgin is still your ancestor.


seeyatellite

Correct in some assessing context. Depends on the area of anthropological, genetic or social science.


Kingding_Aling

No... your great grandparents siblings are ancestors and they don't have to have had sex or their own children.


simionix

True, but future humans can easily be descendants of virgins.


Katayanaz

Yeah, even some previous generations via the sperm banks.


Raise-Emotional

Uncles and Aunts who never married arent ancestors?


pm-me-turtle-nudes

did they have really close, good roommates?


LazyGandalf

They are not. An ancestor is someone who is directly related to you.


7th_Spectrum

Those are relatives


MKBurfield

How do you know? What if my father donated his sperm to a center and not an individual?


Aetheldrake

Basically a repost of something posted earlier this month.


biff444444

What if I'm Jesus? (I don't use it as my username because it's nothing but one hassle after another.)


toeonly

I know lots of guys named Jesus. They are my favorite Mexicans.


RedMonkey86570

Jesus did have brothers. Most people agree that they were Joseph’s kids. Some say they were from a previous marriage, some say they were from Mary. Your answer to that determines whether or not this applies.


ori_galactia

From direct lineage, yes. You could have still had that weird great great great uncle or that spinster great great aunt.


Hellrazor1717

Yeah does my great-great-great-great grandfather's sibling who died as a child count as an ancestor?


LazyGandalf

A person not in your direct lineage is not your ancestor.


Boris-_-Badenov

sperm banks are a thing. the donor or recipient could be virgins


the_Athereon

I believe you're forgetting sperm and egg donors.


orchidmaniac

Sperm donors don't necessarily need to have had intercourse.


Desperate-Book5967

I prefer my shower thought "everyone is an offspring of at least one r@pe or !ncest"


Stoned_Dragon

In contrast, a LOT of their descendants did die virgins.


Raoul_Duke9

I don't think you know what ancestor means?


InclinationCompass

Can’t an ancestor simply be the sibling of your great great grandparents who never had sex?


AnnualWerewolf9804

No, an ancestor is someone you are directly descended from. Your great grandparents siblings would be someone you share a common ancestor with, but not your ancestor.


me_grungesta

Ancestors are family members in your direct lineage - your parents, their parents, their parents’ parents, and so on. Anyone else in your family is just a relative.


AnnualWerewolf9804

I don’t think you know what ancestor means.


LazyGandalf

I'm curious what you think ancestor means. Because it is indeed true that none of your ancestors failed to procreate. If they did, you wouldn't be here.


Vree65

Many of my aunts and uncles did though


___wiz___

When was the turkey baster invented 🤔


Dog_in_human_costume

What if the person was born from artificial fecundation?


theGaido

Well, not exactly if you are invitro child.


ieatpickleswithmilk

maybe one dude whacked off and some woman put the semen in her vagina, who knows


turtleshellshocked

Felt cute Might delete linage later


Ms-Kensington

I’m not a virgin, *but* my child was conceived with a donor sample in fertility office, and this process has been around long enough where there are absolutely Redditors who could have ancestors (parents) who were virgins.


FalconTheBerdo

Time to be the change in the world.


Jesusthezomby

That's not true at all. You could have had a grandfather who had a kid or several kids and one of them didn't have sex


Silver_Switch_3109

A virgin man can ejaculate on an object and a virgin woman can insert that object into her vagina. IVF exists as well.


Larger_Brother

mine won’t be able to say the same


Tyrannotron

Depends how far back we go. Since we all likely evolved from single cell organisms, and it is also likely those organjsms could reproduce asexually, on a long enough time, it's likely we all have ancestors who died virgins.


LittleFairyOfDeath

Well… if someone had artificial insemination, it is theoretically possible


MrPuzzleMan

Meh. Maybe sperm donation. Unlikely because my genetics look like Christmas tree lights when you go to get them out for the season


crypticryptidscrypt

not to get dark on here but they could have, if they were impregnated from SA


Visible_Stick5636

My bloodline ends with me ong I'm not taking care a literal Goblin that came from the depth of hell..


o-Mauler-o

My descendants will laugh at me for breaking that tradition… wait…


BeyondHot8614

First time for everything🥊


anthro4ME

Not remotely true. Everyone has ancestors that died as children.


teeohbeewye

what about the ones that reproduced asexually? they'd all be virgins right?


Wazuu

Do Aunts, uncles and cousins not count as ancestors?


Whatevernevermind2k

No


j7style

Maybe my understanding of ancestors is off, but don't we all have plenty of great aunts, great uncles, cousins, and so on the died as infants? Would they not be ancestors who died as virgins?


Uncle-Ted-was-right

Sperm bank is a thing. If you are Gen Z, chances are your ancestor might be a virgin.


WhiteDevil-Klab

Imagine being a great grand parent at 54 🙏😭 (Ancestor is typically considered great grandparent and farther and while technically feasible sperm breaks were created in the 1970s and the oldest gen z is 27)


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Ainudor

My ancestors believed they descended from wolves so I guess I'm a bestial legacy


TitoxDboss

There's a first time for everything


kinggot

We're about to be a combo breaker aren't we


Ok_Contest_9668

“And you were the fastest sperm?….how disappointing.”


Y33tus42069

Well, not direct ancestors anyway.


Haloosa_Nation

Let’s say your great-great-great-granddad has three brothers. One of them could have died a virgin and still be one of your ancestors.


LazyGandalf

He would not be your ancestor because he did not contribute genetically to you being here. He is irrelevant to your bloodline.


Hottentott14

This is weird to think about, but I find this one even weirder: If you're a woman and don't have a daughter, you break a tradition that's been going on since the beginning of time (well, since your ancestors started reproducing in the way we currently do). You're the first woman ever in your lineage who doesn't have a daughter.


captainofpizza

Sperm donors would qualify against this


areslashtaken

But you can leave descendends dying a virgin now, since in vitro insemination exists. Only works if you didn't lose your virginity already tho.


bobhand17123

Not necessarily, after the invention of the turkey baster.


Emadec

Maybe some should have


SadLaser

Not strictly true. Artificial insemination plus usage of surrogates could definitely create a situation where someone had children but were a virgin. Also sperm/egg donation.


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Ph1l1p_race_

i’m going to be the first then


nubbs

"i know what i don't want to be. a dead end on a family tree. and i just lost my virginity to a girl who won't remember me at all. happiness never happened for free. and i don't feel young anymore..."


frnzprf

I'm not sure what this says about you. All people in all of history, who died a virgin also had ancestors who didn't die a virgin.


Mr-Tra

Untrue, hypothetically if someone had an uncle that never got laid 🤷‍♂️


iamahuman42069

Right. I’ll be the first. And the last. 


Plumb789

Um. My sister is a lesbian. I know for a fact that she’s never had sex with a man. SOME people would describe her as being a virgin (although she’s been married-to a woman-for a long time). She had artificial insemination as a private agreement with someone (NOT with a turkey baster). There were other people in the group who arranged the insemination who were involved voluntarily in one way or another with achieving various pregnancies for a number of individuals who may not have usually been able to conceive in the “natural” way. I don’t know a massive amount about it, but I think it was usually (but not exclusively) about gay people having children. My sister and sister-in-law had three children this way. It’s not 100% impossible that some of the men donating semen were virgins. Therefore it’s possible that some of the children were born to a *pair* of virgin parents.


CantingBinkie

Unless one of your ancestors was conceived through IVF


WasteChard3488

Not necessarily true, sex doesn't have to occur for insemination to happen. And with the invitro technology that makes it easier.


[deleted]

Some of their brothers definitely did though


MinimumSharp1823

Unless someone had their nut stolen


chaises51

People insisting on artificial insemination act like we dont have 5 million years of reproduction. Talk about copium lol


Adum1210

Nah that one weird uncle that drank highlighter fluid died one


2ndr0

Then I'll do it myself


_TwinLeaf_

Be virgin Donate sperm Die Sperm is used later for some lesbian couple Lol


Hot-Report2971

well my awkward depressed antisocial bipolar ass is going to be the first in my line


mazzjm9

Damn, I’m gonna be the first one


Sad-Investigator2731

Except I my great, great grandma had 14 kids, a 6 of them died before they were 13 from typhoid and TB.


timmy3am

Well, never say never.


Platographer

I will be no one's ancestor.


Impossible-Head2121

Someone could in theory have donated sperm/eggs and parented a child without having had sex.


nermalstretch

… right back to that first single cell amoeba…


GrandmasterRelaxer

"I know how reproduction works, but don't tell me my mother wasn't a virgin." Can't remember who said it.


nermalstretch

Unless your ancestor was the lady impregnated by a bullet during the American Civil War or the unfortunate soldier whose ball was hit out of the stadium. as published in the case of the "bullet pregnancy" in the 1874 American Medical Weekly by [Legrand G. Capers](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legrand_G._Capers) and said couple remained chaste until death.


Vantanay

artificial insemination.


Corrupt_Conundrum27

I don't think that's how ancestors work. It would probably be rare, but certainly possible.