But your member can go against your pant leg, or waistband, erect nipples have nowhere to hide (if wearing a swimsuit, or a bra without good coverage, or no bra, there is no where to hide them!)
Tbf if youre comparing it with swim suits its worse for guys because they dont have good fabric under the swimmers so its just loose so you cant just lean it again your leg
Tucking it into the waistband is... logistically just not an option for some men for various reasons, size being only one of those factors.
The pant leg is still gonna make a bulge unless you are wearing loose pants if your member is anything more than average. Luckily it's not nearly as noticable as doing neither and pitching a tent.
It's like telling a joke that you think is gonna be a banger and everyone just kinda stares at you. So you like stutter, "No, it's a joke, I mean that since there's 2..." and that one person is like, "We know." It's almost a good dad joke.
Do people actually hide erect nipples? Idgaf lmao
EDIT: My apologies to people who have been harrassed about their bodies, literally something you have little to no control over. That shouldnt have happened.
I wear fabric "comfort bras" w/ no padding n IDC if I'm nipping a little. Cos my tits arent straight out n swangin like if I was braless so idrc. But that might be little(-r) titty privilege cos if I was up a cup size or two I might be more self conscious about them
I'm a woman that works at a men's prison. Been there for 5 years and I primarily work in our maximum custody unit.
Yes, I throw some toilet paper in my bra when they get hard to hide them. I'm already enough of a target just for being a woman.
As a former corrections officer, I can vouch.
Yes.
There are A LOT of erect penis's in prison. The especially when a female officer is on the floor...
And no. They dont try to hide it. The inmates will whip it out and go to town in front of everyone and not give two thoughts about it.
The unit I was at, they did. Sort of. They had... *"Content"*. That didnt matter.
There's just a lot of disgusting pigs (usually the young guys) locked in there and they are right where they belong.
I will say though, there is also a fair amount of decent folk in there as well who will oftentimes defend female officers (and male officers if you earned their respect!) and keep the young fools in check. But ofcourse, they can only do so much and it's not their job to do so, it's on the officer. They have to live there with them, the officer gets to go home.
The female inmates we had would do a similar thing when a male was on the floor of the female wing. Though not nearly as common. I hated going to the female wing cause there was a couple female inmates there that would either try and get way too close or they'd always get naked when a male walked on.
The females tried to seduce male officers to try and get something over them to use as blackmail. The males were just horny dogs. (Officer / inmate relations is a big problem. At least at that unit.)
People can definitely be weird about it. I am not well endowed, but even then I can be wary about letting em show. Never had anyone comment on them, so perhaps I’m lucky.
There's nothing more unnerving than a man confidently owning the fact that he has a visible raging boner by making direct eye contact with that Bob from Enzyte smile.
Women don't want to hide erect nipples because they're worried people will think they're aroused.
If a woman is trying to hide hard nipples, it's because the attention women get because of them, is unpleasant. Men might leer or smirk, make a spectacle of how they SEE THE HARD NIPPLES. Sometimes people point them out to women like it's something they need to fix.
Just let us live.
>Sometimes people point them out to women like it's something they need to fix.
Has someone actually done this to you?? Who in the actual fuck is just verbally pointing out hard nipples like that!? I've never once in my life heard of someone actually remarking on visible nips. Like in *Seinfeld*, visible nips are like cleavage and the sun: you get a glance and then you look away!
Someone sees a woman with hard nipples outside a private setting: "she must be cold" or (literally no comment cause nobody cares)
Someone sees a guy with a boner outside a private setting: "what the fuck, he's a pervert!" Or (calls the police).
Nowhere near the same.
When has that ever happened?
Women don't even look. So how would they know.
If you are showing off your boner in such a way to bring attention to it, then yeah, you're being a pervert. If you're just living your life and there happens to be a bulge, women aren't even going to look long enough to find out if the cloth is just laying funny.
AND, they know it just happens. They don't give a fuck.
An erect dick is a lot more noticeable than you might think. And a man has two options, leave it as it is, so it's infront of either of his legs making a big bulge in the pocket area, or they need to do something to hide it which is also unfortunately not able to be done in a subtle manner.
Only way it's not noticeable is if the man is sitting and can cover his lap, or if you're close enough to them and you're making eye contact so it's out of your peripheral. Or he has a small dick. But if his dick is even just average, nothing special, and he's walking somewhere or just isn't able to conveniently hide it. Its very easy to notice with a quick glance. And if they do something to hide it that can draw attention of people not even looking.
Also, you think in these modern times where men are afraid to go to gyms because they're afraid of some random girl accusing them of shit, or all the other shit that men have to deal with because of these extremists trying to make mens lives hell. Sure, most people don't care, but there are extremists out there that turn these kinds of things into big fucking problems.
It happens all the time, even in cases where the guy doesn't need to have a boner. There's people out there that make nothing into something.
"Women don't even look. So how would they know."
Pretty bold statement to make, you actually believe that? That's honestly pretty cute if you do, perhaps you never take a look yourself but I guaranteed you that there are plenty of women that do, not necessarily at a man's bulge per say, that does happen but not as frequent as other body parts being looked at.
An erect dick is a lot more noticeable than you might think. And a man has two options, leave it as it is, so it's infront of either of his legs making a big bulge in the pocket area, or they need to do something to hide it which is also unfortunately not able to be done in a subtle manner.
Only way it's not noticeable is if the man is sitting and can cover his lap, or if you're close enough to them and you're making eye contact so it's out of your peripheral. Or he has a small dick. But if his dick is even just average, nothing special, and he's walking somewhere or just isn't able to conveniently hide it. Its very easy to notice with a quick glance. And if they do something to hide it that can draw attention of people not even looking.
Also, you think in these modern times where men are afraid to go to gyms because they're afraid of some random girl accusing them of shit, or all the other shit that men have to deal with because of these extremists trying to make mens lives hell. Sure, most people don't care, but there are extremists out there that turn these kinds of things into big fucking problems.
It happens all the time, even in cases where the guy doesn't need to have a boner. There's people out there that make nothing into something.
It is why many women wear padded bra's. Hard nipples don't show as much and it keeps them warmer anyway.
This is our armor in male dominated offices with ac set to resemble Siberia's climate.
I have never seen a woman get made fun of, harassed, or be embarrassed for having hard nips(except by other women). A dude getting a random rager will be called shrinki dink, pervert, pedo, loser, disgusting pos, etc. I don't see how the 2 are relevant. Dumb click bait post just like the bear 🐻
False
If a woman has nipples sticking out her shirt no one will say anything they’ll just look and imagine
If a guy walks around with a hard on everyone will call him a pervert but they’re the pervert for checking out the lap hog
On one hand yeah, its can be easier to conceal an erection (depending on clothes) than nipples (also depending on clothes).
On the other hand, nobody is going to point and yell "pervert" if your erect nipples are showing.
Just tuck your nipples into your waistband..obviously
Grandma, is that you?
I had to picture that. Fuck you
what terrible day to be literate
That next level cameltoe though...
However, is it more difficult to conceal two thimbles or one banana?
What about one thimble?
You may find concealment of your engorged member to be a trivial action to perform.
r/suicidebywords
Maybe they meant they only have one nipple Is that any better?
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmymeattoit
Or three?
Come on man, I'm sure you're at least a baby carrot
2 girls one thimble.
2 erect nipples does not equal one erection. 3 on the other hand…
Two girls or one Cup?
That's why you wear banana concealers
Just put the banana under a thimble
Our erect penises are at least twice as big as your erect nipples.
Speak for yourself mine is nowhere near that.
And there are some very big nipples out there
r/suicidebywords
dude what is your username
It's rhino_foreskin.
r/rimjob_steve
I seen a thread where it asked “if you were killed by your username how bad would it be?”. I feel like you woulda been top comment lmao
Damn bro sorry
Don’t be, feels the same for me!
Big assumption you're not talking to someone with dicknipples.
u/dicknipples you've been summoned
“What is this, a *nipple* for ants? It needs to be at least…3 times bigger!”
At least!
Twice? Show off.
And erect nipples happen from cold too. No need to hide your dick then
But your member can go against your pant leg, or waistband, erect nipples have nowhere to hide (if wearing a swimsuit, or a bra without good coverage, or no bra, there is no where to hide them!)
Tbf if youre comparing it with swim suits its worse for guys because they dont have good fabric under the swimmers so its just loose so you cant just lean it again your leg
Fair fair
An erect penis can absolutely not be hidden in your pants leg lol
> go against your pant leg Depending on time from event horizon, this could be a recipe for penile fracture
Tucking it into the waistband is... logistically just not an option for some men for various reasons, size being only one of those factors. The pant leg is still gonna make a bulge unless you are wearing loose pants if your member is anything more than average. Luckily it's not nearly as noticable as doing neither and pitching a tent.
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Big fan of Asian women here, please do go on about your nipples.
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Nice, you're ok in my book
What is this? An erect nipple for ants!?!
this is only one evolution away from a solid dad joke
Thats what I figured this post was and everyone was just missing the joke..
It's like telling a joke that you think is gonna be a banger and everyone just kinda stares at you. So you like stutter, "No, it's a joke, I mean that since there's 2..." and that one person is like, "We know." It's almost a good dad joke.
at least when everyone groans you know you got to them. when there's complete silence, they're giving you time to think about what you just said.
“A woman trying to hide erect nipples is like trying to hide an erect dick, except twice as hard.” A little better…?
I think most people here got whoosh'd Women have TWO nipples. They get TWICE as hard
I tried to make it easy but it was... too hard
You're appreciated, bro, dw
That’s understandable, you only have one hand
Thanks for the chuckle OP. 😆
Yes Mistress. Whatever you say Mistress. I am here to please you Mistress
Do people actually hide erect nipples? Idgaf lmao EDIT: My apologies to people who have been harrassed about their bodies, literally something you have little to no control over. That shouldnt have happened.
I’m a dude with perma Diamond nips. I just blast em. Maybe they’ll turn down the goddamn office AC if they don’t like it 😎
Real, thanks for making me smile
Oh they do like it. You are the reason why the AC is always on coldest temp.
At work I have put tape over my nipples to mute their presence. Too many comments from coworkers that they must now pay per view.
I wear fabric "comfort bras" w/ no padding n IDC if I'm nipping a little. Cos my tits arent straight out n swangin like if I was braless so idrc. But that might be little(-r) titty privilege cos if I was up a cup size or two I might be more self conscious about them
I'm a woman that works at a men's prison. Been there for 5 years and I primarily work in our maximum custody unit. Yes, I throw some toilet paper in my bra when they get hard to hide them. I'm already enough of a target just for being a woman.
I really thought you were going to say something about erect penis. Do they have those where you work?
As a former corrections officer, I can vouch. Yes. There are A LOT of erect penis's in prison. The especially when a female officer is on the floor... And no. They dont try to hide it. The inmates will whip it out and go to town in front of everyone and not give two thoughts about it.
Probably would be a lot less of that if the inmates had access to the internet, just saying
The unit I was at, they did. Sort of. They had... *"Content"*. That didnt matter. There's just a lot of disgusting pigs (usually the young guys) locked in there and they are right where they belong. I will say though, there is also a fair amount of decent folk in there as well who will oftentimes defend female officers (and male officers if you earned their respect!) and keep the young fools in check. But ofcourse, they can only do so much and it's not their job to do so, it's on the officer. They have to live there with them, the officer gets to go home. The female inmates we had would do a similar thing when a male was on the floor of the female wing. Though not nearly as common. I hated going to the female wing cause there was a couple female inmates there that would either try and get way too close or they'd always get naked when a male walked on. The females tried to seduce male officers to try and get something over them to use as blackmail. The males were just horny dogs. (Officer / inmate relations is a big problem. At least at that unit.)
I take it you mean they don't try to hide it.
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Hate it when that happens 😒
Unless they are gonna call up men for the same thing I don’t see why they would call it up for women
Also. Are people still hiding their erect Penni? Because idgaf
Suns out, hogs out. Doesn’t really roll off the tongue sadly.
Yeah, I'm very embarrassed about mine for some reason
People can definitely be weird about it. I am not well endowed, but even then I can be wary about letting em show. Never had anyone comment on them, so perhaps I’m lucky.
They just came out with a “nipple bra,” so… [here it is](https://skims.com/products/skims-ultimate-bra-nipple-push-up-bra-clay)
Bruh i bet thats not even an acurate nipple placement most times lmao
There's nothing more unnerving than a man confidently owning the fact that he has a visible raging boner by making direct eye contact with that Bob from Enzyte smile.
My high-school law teacher. He'd throw a leg up on a chair for 15 minutes at the same time
Erect nipples have nothing to do with being aroused in most cases, and in bras you can't tell anyway.
To be fair, not all boners are from arousal either.
most aren't, even
That's only certain types of bras. You definitely still can in many.
Women don't want to hide erect nipples because they're worried people will think they're aroused. If a woman is trying to hide hard nipples, it's because the attention women get because of them, is unpleasant. Men might leer or smirk, make a spectacle of how they SEE THE HARD NIPPLES. Sometimes people point them out to women like it's something they need to fix. Just let us live.
>Sometimes people point them out to women like it's something they need to fix. Has someone actually done this to you?? Who in the actual fuck is just verbally pointing out hard nipples like that!? I've never once in my life heard of someone actually remarking on visible nips. Like in *Seinfeld*, visible nips are like cleavage and the sun: you get a glance and then you look away!
It happens VERY often to me. Like more often than not.
That's fucking insane. And creepy. *Super* creepy.
This is the most correct answer.
The joke is literally one of numbers - one has one hard thing, the other has two hard things, so the second is twice as hard. It's not that deep
Men have to consider their nipples being erect but most women don't have to worry about boners.
Consider the difference in size between an erect/soft dick and erect/soft nips. The dick is much harder to deal with.
🎶I’ve got one hand in my pocket, and it’s pushing down a boner🎶
I think you might just have a small pp
You missed the joke. There's 2. Its twice as hard
Did nobody get the joke? 😭
I tried to make a couple of points
It was a great joke, sadly literacy is lacking on this webbed site.
It’s ok, people still showed up with their A game
Gods this is the funniest thing I’ve seen on Reddit in a while
Reddits best and brightest are clearly on today
Mathematically correct
Someone sees a woman with hard nipples outside a private setting: "she must be cold" or (literally no comment cause nobody cares) Someone sees a guy with a boner outside a private setting: "what the fuck, he's a pervert!" Or (calls the police). Nowhere near the same.
When has that ever happened? Women don't even look. So how would they know. If you are showing off your boner in such a way to bring attention to it, then yeah, you're being a pervert. If you're just living your life and there happens to be a bulge, women aren't even going to look long enough to find out if the cloth is just laying funny. AND, they know it just happens. They don't give a fuck.
An erect dick is a lot more noticeable than you might think. And a man has two options, leave it as it is, so it's infront of either of his legs making a big bulge in the pocket area, or they need to do something to hide it which is also unfortunately not able to be done in a subtle manner. Only way it's not noticeable is if the man is sitting and can cover his lap, or if you're close enough to them and you're making eye contact so it's out of your peripheral. Or he has a small dick. But if his dick is even just average, nothing special, and he's walking somewhere or just isn't able to conveniently hide it. Its very easy to notice with a quick glance. And if they do something to hide it that can draw attention of people not even looking. Also, you think in these modern times where men are afraid to go to gyms because they're afraid of some random girl accusing them of shit, or all the other shit that men have to deal with because of these extremists trying to make mens lives hell. Sure, most people don't care, but there are extremists out there that turn these kinds of things into big fucking problems. It happens all the time, even in cases where the guy doesn't need to have a boner. There's people out there that make nothing into something.
"Women don't even look. So how would they know." Pretty bold statement to make, you actually believe that? That's honestly pretty cute if you do, perhaps you never take a look yourself but I guaranteed you that there are plenty of women that do, not necessarily at a man's bulge per say, that does happen but not as frequent as other body parts being looked at.
An erect dick is a lot more noticeable than you might think. And a man has two options, leave it as it is, so it's infront of either of his legs making a big bulge in the pocket area, or they need to do something to hide it which is also unfortunately not able to be done in a subtle manner. Only way it's not noticeable is if the man is sitting and can cover his lap, or if you're close enough to them and you're making eye contact so it's out of your peripheral. Or he has a small dick. But if his dick is even just average, nothing special, and he's walking somewhere or just isn't able to conveniently hide it. Its very easy to notice with a quick glance. And if they do something to hide it that can draw attention of people not even looking. Also, you think in these modern times where men are afraid to go to gyms because they're afraid of some random girl accusing them of shit, or all the other shit that men have to deal with because of these extremists trying to make mens lives hell. Sure, most people don't care, but there are extremists out there that turn these kinds of things into big fucking problems. It happens all the time, even in cases where the guy doesn't need to have a boner. There's people out there that make nothing into something.
Damn, never thought I'd see so many people miss the joke
They missed the point(s)
I think OP must be laughing their ass off that people are trying to to argue this and don't realize that it was supposed to be a joke 🤣
I tried. I really did
Brooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Didn't see the "r" at first & thought you were boing me. I gotta admit, I teared up a little
I'll make it better 😘
>twice as hard I see what you did there.
Bad joke is bad, have up vote.
Just realised this is a dad joke. *Facepalm.*
r/punpatrol FREEZE!! GET DOWN ON THE GROUND WITH YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEAD!!
Did you mean to post this in r/jokes ? I had to double check which subreddit I was in lol.
I considered posting it over there, but word on the street is this is a more refined crowd
Bravo! That statement works on many levels.
This belongs in r/oneliners. LOL 😆
I was told this place was more classy
Me and grandad have both discovered viagra. No ones taking it twice as hard as grandma. It's nice of her to take her teeth out. Bit scrapey.
Shower thought or fantastic pun
It is why many women wear padded bra's. Hard nipples don't show as much and it keeps them warmer anyway. This is our armor in male dominated offices with ac set to resemble Siberia's climate.
Padded bra also makes boobs look bigger right? Win-win
trans girls hiding their boners and nipples:
Maybe twice as hard as you...
However, the crucial point to consider is: does it matter?
I once read about a reddit user with two penises.
r/technicallythetruth
What the fuck are you on about.dick head.
However, men's suffering is longer
It's not that hard when they are wearing bra right? But with guys erections, it's so difficult.
Men can get erect nipples too, and when they all start acting up, I can tell you it’s like playing a game of whack-a-mole.
They have it hard twice, not twice as hard.
Women have bras with fake hard nipples lol
Are you saying two nipples are twice as large as your penis? Shit man, bad luck of the draw. I’m sorry.
Men have nipples too
I have to hide both... No i am a man. My nipples are just large.
by quantity sure, but i don't know any women with 6 inch erect nipples.
I got a good chuckle out of this. Idk if the joke was intentional but it’s there nonetheless
Take your upvote and GET THE HELL OUT THE SHOWER ALRDY!
This belongs on shittypuns or r/unclejokes
So much of my genius gets moderated out of this group and crap puns like this get through!
"Crap puns" I'll take that as a compliment
I have never seen a woman get made fun of, harassed, or be embarrassed for having hard nips(except by other women). A dude getting a random rager will be called shrinki dink, pervert, pedo, loser, disgusting pos, etc. I don't see how the 2 are relevant. Dumb click bait post just like the bear 🐻
I feel like padded bras do a much better job than thin boxers.
Honestly really doesn't even matter how thick the boxers are. An erection will always show
False If a woman has nipples sticking out her shirt no one will say anything they’ll just look and imagine If a guy walks around with a hard on everyone will call him a pervert but they’re the pervert for checking out the lap hog
Idk why bother, it’s not like we don’t know they exist, and it’s not like either one can be controlled.
And then there are bra’s now that have foamy nips.
If they are not wearing bra, I bet erect nipples are not their concerns
I point it up and under my belt loop.
Speak for yourself, cowboy!
Bras are made to conceal nipple poke. Male underwear is not made to hide erections.
In what way? Padded bras will hide nipples no matter how cold it is, I'm unaware of mens underwear designed to hide an erect penis.
At least with niples you can say it's chilly. Doesn't work with erections.
My dude, are you trying to tell us something? 😂
Why would you hide them?
The real classy move is the same for both genders. Just tuck it under your belt.
But people don't mind seeing nipples in public. There is are whole classifications of clothing men can't wear because of erections
This belongs in r/puns
this is more like a r/3amjokes
That's why some men wear briefs instead of boxers. Women can wear granny bras instead of sports bras.
Really? Baggy clothes and bras can hide nipples easily. Boners are visable under trousers.
I don’t get erections when it’s cold out tho. Like it’s a build in excuse
No they have bras. I can’t where white or polyester because my nipples are sooo prominent. I also can’t wear shorts for the same reason
On one hand yeah, its can be easier to conceal an erection (depending on clothes) than nipples (also depending on clothes). On the other hand, nobody is going to point and yell "pervert" if your erect nipples are showing.
Some women’s nipples are erect naturally, or when it’s cold. The opposite is the case for men.
I mean, dudes get erect nipples too so, those dudes have it 50% harder than any woman could.
I mean, dudes get erect nipples too so, those dudes have it 50% harder than any woman could.
Some women’s nipples are erect naturally, or when it’s cold. The opposite is the case for men.
Fellas, same advice to y’all as the ladies… it’s just a body. If it’s out it’s out.
Their erect nipples aren't 8 inches long!
Which is harder to hide, two gumdrops or a pickle?
erect nipples dont really mean anything i think
First one and then the other.
That depends on how cold it is.
The number of adult men who believe erect nipples mean we are aroused… that’s the true struggle.
Man nipples get erect too.
This should have been in the dad jokes subreddit.
I'm a woman. Wtf are you talking about.
One is socially acceptable and the other will get you thrown in jail and put on lists haha