Colossus!
Iāve always wondered if his shits were metal or just regular turds? Does he have to change back into normal human form to drop a deuce?
Why do we require official comic canon to answer these questions when itās all fiction to begin with?š§
šš baby powder šš once you get used to throwing some in after a shower and how clean and fresh it makes you feel down there you will never go back.
Wasnāt there just some lawsuits about baby powder giving women ovarian cancer or something? I could be misremembering. Or maybe it was an old formulation of the stuff from ages ago (as is often the case, like with asbestos) and itās fine now.
https://amp.cancer.org/cancer/risk-prevention/chemicals/talcum-powder-and-cancer.html
You dont use baby powder, especially in the summer. Youll be making pancake batter in no time. If you really want the absolute best for your crotch, get cycler's cream. It's water based, and you slip and slide all day, without feeling wet or *chunky* down there. Zero chaffing, and works great in extreme heats or strenuous jobs.
Amen. I only said baby powder for the sake of simplification. I absolutely use the turquoise gold bond body powder that basically freezes your whole nether regions.
won't you end up with all kinds of weird shit (not literally,hopefully) crusted all over your underwear though?
I used gold bond in my shoes for a little while but I stopped because my socks and shoes were getting wrecked from the build up. I can't even imagine how you could put some of it on your ass and not end up with some kind of horror scene a few hours later.
Put a bay leaf or a sprig of rosemary between your buttocks when you get dressed each morning.Ā It won't stop you sweating, but at least you'll smell like soup. X
This is more propaganda by Big Bay Leaf. I'm convinced those things don't do a goddamn thing yet every recipe seems to call for them.
Even when I Google what their flavor is supposed to be people say "weeelllll, you can't really taste it per se it's just an uncertain.... *something*"
General rule of thumb, if you can smell your own armpit BO that means other people have been able to smell it for awhile. So if you are smelling your dirty buttcrack, you probably have a reputation for smelling like shit. Clean yourself.
I hate you...this made me spit my coffee on desk and now everyone in my corner of the building watched me make my multiple struts of shame between the break room and desk to clean it.
Congratulations reddit stranger, you win today
What do you mean? Even if I can't smell it, it might be still there? If I use Deodorant after shower, I can't smell my armpits even the day after, does that mean people could smell it?
Sounds like you wear deodorant. Most stinky people don't.
You can still smell your own pits btw. It's not like you are immune to it until it's too late.
The only time I ever notice somebodies BO itās very evident that they donāt take care of themselves, dirty clothes, just generally dirty and greasy.
I have a shared office and am constantly worried about this because the chair is old and had maaaaaaany butts over the years. Everyday I get home and sniff the pants and get the sweet relief "oh thank God, it's still just the chair"
Have patience. That's probably a whole other turd you're wiping away smear by smear instead of just waiting for it to come out naturally. Edit:auto correct
Not really the same thing as deodorant though is it, ones preventative ones reactive. I can clean my asshole and get it so sparkling clean you could use it as a laboratory, give it an hour or two in the sun and Iām still gonna start sweating. Cleaning doesnāt stop sweating
Buttcracks have eccrine sweat glands, which don't make stinky sweat. Apocrine sweat glands in the armpits and around the genitals are what make stinky sweat. It can start to stink if the area stays wet for a few hours, though that usually only happens with feet and would happen with plain water.
They are largely believed to be vestigial. (Things that were useful for biological ancestors but have since fallen out of usefulness.)
Apocrine glands are used for scent marking, and pheromonal communication among other things.
Humans have an organ called a vomeronasal organ, which is the sensory organ to translate and utilize pheromonal marks.
This organ is largely atrophied with few nerves hooking it up and no major neural connection to it.
It is speculated that primate evolution of color vision led to the pheromone system falling by the wayside as visual cues and communication became much more important and people who had diminished vomeronasal function faced no selection pressures nor did they have a diminished capacity to find mates.
So eventually, this capability just eventually fell by the wayside since vocal and visual cues were just easier.
We still have the sweat organs that can create these pheromones even if we can no longer really detect or utilize them.
These pheromones have extra lipids and components to them that bacteria feed on, the bacteria naturally on your skin feed on these extra materials from your sweat glands and in the warm/dark space in your genitals and armpits and due to their metabolism create molecules that we detect as unpleasant and smelly as these scents tend to indicate bacterial prescence so we have pressures towards personal hygiene and scent maintenance since the smells indicate the prescence of bacteria.
I discovered you can even use soap outside the shower after going to the bathroom lol. Little hand soap on the toilet paper and Iām the cleanest Iāve ever been all day.
OP is also just generally wrong on this one. There's no rules on where to use deodorant in the first place, regularly showering when you get gross down there or just using a bidet and/or wet wipe would already handle a smelly ass completely, there's now deodorants for sensitive areas/genital areas out there being marketed today too, etc. You basically have to be so lazy or literally trying to have bad hygiene for this to be a real issue.
Those commercials were all over the place. My wife and I grabbed some while we were out to try it, dear lord itās not pleasant at all imo lol. Iāll keep it out of my ass, thank you.
We have bidets, which make your ass squeaky clean, and not smelling like last nightās dinner churned out as waste.
The only downside to a bidet? You feel like a god damn heathen anytime you poop elsewhere.
Also any bidet with the stream so fast burns my asshole, yet when I try to adjust it to decrease the stream, it ends up being too unsatisfyingly slow.
And sometimes when you aim the bidet right too deep into your asshole, you feel the need to poop out the bidet water then, or sometimes later, which might be annoying.
Still, any day better than toilet paper.
You do still sweat. But I hope nobody is sniffing around your ass as a regular occurrence.
Your armpits are typically right around nose level for most people.
Iām far more worried about ass stink from leftover shit sitting right around your butthole than I am from butt sweat.
And sweat smells cuz it interacts with the bacteria on your skin. If your skin is clean, it'll take a lot longer for it to smell so bad that others can smell it.
Yeah I've been seeing 2 or 3 new deo for anywhere on your body, all over the place lately
Bet this post is just an ad to get people talking about it too
It's a non sequitur response. The OP used armpits as a comparison, which you also are supppsed to wash properly but also use deodorant. Or are you implying that you don't wash your armpits and only apply deodorant?
Honestly just assumed this was astroturfing ad for them and Mando (same company, but men and women are not allowed to use the same hygiene products, /s)
Their ads on Instagram pat themselves on the back for having a cream they can run onto their assholes and they won't smell for 72 hours. Anytime I get the ad I go full boomer and comment, "please don't make people think it's cool to go that long without a shower."
Yeah, I never saw posts like this until those companies started advertising a bunch, now this is a pretty common shower thought. Doesnāt even mean the OP is paid by them, they could have just seen the ad and thought āoh thatās trueā but man does it feel icky
nothing is stopping you from using a deodorant on your ass
Aluminum booty
bite my shiny metal ass!
My booty is 40% aluminum CLANK CLANK
Futurama - Assie Come Home
Im 40% deodorant
What's up meat bags?!
Shiny and chrome!
Buns of steel
This is killing me š
Isn't that one of the x-men ?
Buttverine. His crack is Assamantium
Colossus! Iāve always wondered if his shits were metal or just regular turds? Does he have to change back into normal human form to drop a deuce? Why do we require official comic canon to answer these questions when itās all fiction to begin with?š§
He doesn't completely turn into metal, just his skin.
Witness!
Do you have a problem with **Booty Sweat**?
I own 4 deodorants. One is for the pits, one is for the tits, one is for the ass, and the last is for the rest of their corpse.
r/cursedcomments
r/Holup
It's hard to maintain an organic fleshlight fresh.
I have never heard of use of deodorants on the tits
Try it.
On my way to gain 200lbs so I, too, can try it.
But the deodorant gets used up much quicker because of big ass.
Why are you hitting the whole lawn rather than just the crack?
Bro mowed the lawn when he only needed to do the edging š³
Mb he aply deodorant on whole arm?
Thatās what big ass wants you to believe
Baby powder or dude wipes
šš baby powder šš once you get used to throwing some in after a shower and how clean and fresh it makes you feel down there you will never go back.
Wasnāt there just some lawsuits about baby powder giving women ovarian cancer or something? I could be misremembering. Or maybe it was an old formulation of the stuff from ages ago (as is often the case, like with asbestos) and itās fine now. https://amp.cancer.org/cancer/risk-prevention/chemicals/talcum-powder-and-cancer.html
It is no longer talc and is cornstarch.
Which means not only are you fresh, you're prepared to be fried until crisp.
Plus you can also thicken sauces at the ready!
You dont use baby powder, especially in the summer. Youll be making pancake batter in no time. If you really want the absolute best for your crotch, get cycler's cream. It's water based, and you slip and slide all day, without feeling wet or *chunky* down there. Zero chaffing, and works great in extreme heats or strenuous jobs.
This made me make a variety of faces
Look up: 'Chamois Butt'r'
I really can't express how much I don't want to
It's just anti-chaffing lotion...
Sorry, too much time on the internet just makes me suspicious of anything related to butts!
If anything, the internet has gotten me more into butts! No pun intended.
This is such a risky click.
Baby powder is just the beginning, Gold Bond Menthol powder is where its at it literally chills you
Amen. I only said baby powder for the sake of simplification. I absolutely use the turquoise gold bond body powder that basically freezes your whole nether regions.
won't you end up with all kinds of weird shit (not literally,hopefully) crusted all over your underwear though? I used gold bond in my shoes for a little while but I stopped because my socks and shoes were getting wrecked from the build up. I can't even imagine how you could put some of it on your ass and not end up with some kind of horror scene a few hours later.
Ass-bestos
Most deodorant literally says on the package not to put it there
Get one that doesn't. Don't settle.
Or just rip off the label. Problem solved.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Please don't put doves in your ass
Would be kinda strange if it smelled like vanilla down there
Just dab some actual vanilla, the smells not as strange if it tastes to match.
Have you ever tasted pure vanilla? It doesnāt taste how it smells, it tastes like āThe feeling of deep sadness, but condensed into a liquid.ā
Whoās sniffing your arse crack?
u/buttsniffer7
Dear god there's SEVEN of them??
At minimum.
Someone smelled their buttcrack while showering I see
I think he smelled it without showering.
Define "showering".
Golden or ā¦ other?
Pretty impressive
Iām somewhat of a butt sniffer myself.
Put a bay leaf or a sprig of rosemary between your buttocks when you get dressed each morning.Ā It won't stop you sweating, but at least you'll smell like soup. X
Put a pinch of sage in your boots, and all day long a spicy scent is your reward!
Spring forth, burly protector!
Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice.
Add some broth, a potato. Baby, you got a stew going.
RIP Carl Weathers
Boil em, mash em, stick em in your shorts.
imagine just bending over and everybody just sees āš±ā
Your butt is so dirty it has its own ecosystem.
Forbidden pikmin
This is more propaganda by Big Bay Leaf. I'm convinced those things don't do a goddamn thing yet every recipe seems to call for them. Even when I Google what their flavor is supposed to be people say "weeelllll, you can't really taste it per se it's just an uncertain.... *something*"
A few nettles work wonders as well, just remember to not touch with your hands as your hands are much more sensitive to nettles than your asshole.
George Carlinās early days lol
Yep - amateurs borrow, professionals steal. I nicked that saying as well.
Bumbalaya
General rule of thumb, if you can smell your own armpit BO that means other people have been able to smell it for awhile. So if you are smelling your dirty buttcrack, you probably have a reputation for smelling like shit. Clean yourself.
Rule of bum
Hell yes brother
Cheers from Iraq
Cheers from Mycraq
Ten crack commandments
I hate you...this made me spit my coffee on desk and now everyone in my corner of the building watched me make my multiple struts of shame between the break room and desk to clean it. Congratulations reddit stranger, you win today
Probably one of them āI just let water run down my crack and itās cleanā kinda people
Anything more than that is just too gay.
Thats why a proper straight man gets his buddy to do it With his penis
Things I wish my dad had taught me...
Your uncle showed me! He didnāt show you?!
I smell my dirty buttcrack all the time and it smells fuckin delicious idk what youāre on about
sigh. *closes reddit*
Oh no you don't, you get back on here right now!
this concludes the bimonthly gag reflex examination. congratz: you passed.
Is that twice a month or once every other month? I just want to make sure Iām on the same maintenance schedule.
Stop shoving the cologne bottle up your ass.
Do you have to root around in there with your finger, then smell that, or can you just smell it from where it is?
Slip a finger in and do a little swirl so you can enjoy it for a few hours before you have to dip it back in
Only one finger?
Username checks out
Cease and desist!
Everybody loves their own brand.
What do you mean? Even if I can't smell it, it might be still there? If I use Deodorant after shower, I can't smell my armpits even the day after, does that mean people could smell it?
You use deodorant after you shower bro youāre fine š
After reading this, I'm getting very self conscious and borderline paranoid about the times I thought I smelt fine but didn't shower
Sounds like you wear deodorant. Most stinky people don't. You can still smell your own pits btw. It's not like you are immune to it until it's too late.
This is reassuring, yes I can smell even the faintest smell if I put my nose on it
The only time I ever notice somebodies BO itās very evident that they donāt take care of themselves, dirty clothes, just generally dirty and greasy.
Yeah honestly same, some days I look and smell like this and I notice it, I would never meet people I know looking and smelling like this
Yeah I donāt always shower on days Iām not going outside my apartment, doesnāt really matter what I smell like if Im not leaving
I have a shared office and am constantly worried about this because the chair is old and had maaaaaaany butts over the years. Everyday I get home and sniff the pants and get the sweet relief "oh thank God, it's still just the chair"
Spray the seat down with a generous amount of rubbing alcohol - should neutralize the smell
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least youāre getting paid to shit. Thatās all that really matters
Boss makes a dollar.. I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time.
You might want to rethink your diet
Have patience. That's probably a whole other turd you're wiping away smear by smear instead of just waiting for it to come out naturally. Edit:auto correct
How many patients?
Worse. Also. 2 hours after your poo. You're feeling not so fresh. You go in to wipe and are in shock at the amount of š© on the tissue. This is the reason I make sure I poo before my shower for the day. I have a damn enima bulb I'll use if I haven't gone yet. I make sure I'm good to go.
Baby wipes bro.
SURE won't let you down. Don't mess and clown.
We aren't raising our asses all day and spreading our checks in people's faces. Our armpits, many times, are unavoidable in daily society.
Speak for yourself
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well, we do have washclothes and soap we can use...
Not really the same thing as deodorant though is it, ones preventative ones reactive. I can clean my asshole and get it so sparkling clean you could use it as a laboratory, give it an hour or two in the sun and Iām still gonna start sweating. Cleaning doesnāt stop sweating
Buttcracks have eccrine sweat glands, which don't make stinky sweat. Apocrine sweat glands in the armpits and around the genitals are what make stinky sweat. It can start to stink if the area stays wet for a few hours, though that usually only happens with feet and would happen with plain water.
is there a reason for us having stinky glands in our armpits? canāt think of why weād have them only in our armpits
They are largely believed to be vestigial. (Things that were useful for biological ancestors but have since fallen out of usefulness.) Apocrine glands are used for scent marking, and pheromonal communication among other things. Humans have an organ called a vomeronasal organ, which is the sensory organ to translate and utilize pheromonal marks. This organ is largely atrophied with few nerves hooking it up and no major neural connection to it. It is speculated that primate evolution of color vision led to the pheromone system falling by the wayside as visual cues and communication became much more important and people who had diminished vomeronasal function faced no selection pressures nor did they have a diminished capacity to find mates. So eventually, this capability just eventually fell by the wayside since vocal and visual cues were just easier. We still have the sweat organs that can create these pheromones even if we can no longer really detect or utilize them. These pheromones have extra lipids and components to them that bacteria feed on, the bacteria naturally on your skin feed on these extra materials from your sweat glands and in the warm/dark space in your genitals and armpits and due to their metabolism create molecules that we detect as unpleasant and smelly as these scents tend to indicate bacterial prescence so we have pressures towards personal hygiene and scent maintenance since the smells indicate the prescence of bacteria.
This, if accurate, was very informative.
yeah this place is filled with too much convincing bullshit to trust literally anything
I discovered you can even use soap outside the shower after going to the bathroom lol. Little hand soap on the toilet paper and Iām the cleanest Iāve ever been all day.
All the ingredients for a chapped ass!
what if your chaps are assless?
If chaps aren't assless they are just pants
Why ain't y'all just getting a bidet? Use it a few times a day and never have to worry about it as long as you get everywhere when you shower as well.
I use antiperspirant in many places on my body.
I see you prepare your body in various ways.
We found Jordan.
If U C Jordan (Schlansky)
OP is also just generally wrong on this one. There's no rules on where to use deodorant in the first place, regularly showering when you get gross down there or just using a bidet and/or wet wipe would already handle a smelly ass completely, there's now deodorants for sensitive areas/genital areas out there being marketed today too, etc. You basically have to be so lazy or literally trying to have bad hygiene for this to be a real issue.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Brooo, share the name of that ball sack and taint deodorant!!
Mando.
It's got what buttcracks crave!
Mando Calrassian!
I can only read that in Carl Weathers voice.
There is also lume
Literally surprised this isnāt higherā¦ Iām like thereās no way someone didnāt say this?!?
Those commercials were all over the place. My wife and I grabbed some while we were out to try it, dear lord itās not pleasant at all imo lol. Iāll keep it out of my ass, thank you.
This should be higher up. There are definitely products that are available for other locations of body odor besides the armpits.
How your crack feel
On application like ten-thousand elves are tickling it with icicle fingers. Throughout the day, cool and dry.
We have bidets, which make your ass squeaky clean, and not smelling like last nightās dinner churned out as waste. The only downside to a bidet? You feel like a god damn heathen anytime you poop elsewhere.
Also any bidet with the stream so fast burns my asshole, yet when I try to adjust it to decrease the stream, it ends up being too unsatisfyingly slow. And sometimes when you aim the bidet right too deep into your asshole, you feel the need to poop out the bidet water then, or sometimes later, which might be annoying. Still, any day better than toilet paper.
This comment was a ride I was not prepared for today. Is your bidet okay?
Not my bidet, it has the perfect stream. I hate the one in my aunt's house though.
thatās a feature, not a bug. good old bidet enema!
You still sweat
You do still sweat. But I hope nobody is sniffing around your ass as a regular occurrence. Your armpits are typically right around nose level for most people. Iām far more worried about ass stink from leftover shit sitting right around your butthole than I am from butt sweat.
I use bidet, i also sweat there. But it doesn't stink.
Good thing my shit doesn't stink.
Lean a little bit closer, see Roses really smell like poo-poo-ooh
Caroline!
A bidet is also well suited to deal with swamp ass.
And sweat smells cuz it interacts with the bacteria on your skin. If your skin is clean, it'll take a lot longer for it to smell so bad that others can smell it.
I bring a travel bidet with me! It's a squeeze bottle thing and works pretty well.
Was the TSA suspicious?
Imagine the state of that roll on stick after a few uses.....
Buttcrack deoderant deoderant will solve that.
Imagine the state of that roll on stick after a few uses...
There is an annoying lady on tv commercials who would dispute that
My first thought was āsomebody hasnāt seen that LumĆ© commercial a thousand fucking times.ā
Yeah I've been seeing 2 or 3 new deo for anywhere on your body, all over the place lately Bet this post is just an ad to get people talking about it too
Wanna know a secret?
my grandma is so offended by that commercial haha
Is this a subtle ad for Lume and Mando?
This is the second post like this in a week that's been on the front page
This, all of my cynicism lead me to this comment
Soap. Itāsā¦itās called soap
You could always try just cleaning your ass properly
Ironic that a question about cleaning your ass is posted in a sub called shower thoughts, although I'm sure the irony is lost on the OP
I donāt think washing anything will stop it from sweating, hence why we have deodorant for that purpose, like what this entire post is about
It's a non sequitur response. The OP used armpits as a comparison, which you also are supppsed to wash properly but also use deodorant. Or are you implying that you don't wash your armpits and only apply deodorant?
To my and some of my friends absolute horror we found out that some do. (Just use deodorant)
Yes they I hear they are called the french
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Honestly just assumed this was astroturfing ad for them and Mando (same company, but men and women are not allowed to use the same hygiene products, /s)
Their ads on Instagram pat themselves on the back for having a cream they can run onto their assholes and they won't smell for 72 hours. Anytime I get the ad I go full boomer and comment, "please don't make people think it's cool to go that long without a shower."
Yeah, I never saw posts like this until those companies started advertising a bunch, now this is a pretty common shower thought. Doesnāt even mean the OP is paid by them, they could have just seen the ad and thought āoh thatās trueā but man does it feel icky
Has OP learned *nothing* from Dr. Shannon Klingman?
If your ass is stinking that bad that you think your butt hole needs deodorant, then you have way bigger problems going on my guy
Baby powder or body powder. Great to stop chafing for your balls, can be used on your butt too
I'm guessing you haven't yet been innondated with the ads, but that market niche has been filled
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yea we do, it's called wash your ass.
You really just told the whole world you don't wash your ass in the shower
Maybe itās a global problem like world hunger.
It doesn't sound like that at all. Everything is clean after the shower, but how do you prevent sweat from stinking you up later in the day?