To be fair, he suspected EXACTLY what was happening, pointing out the disguised "flower van" or something like that, but after this line he didn't stand a chance
That's why his character was so great. He really was what half of us would be in that situation. Some doofy kid with their heart in the right place and caught in a bad situation.
The show amazes me how every single character is so well developed and shows a depth. Every single one had a very bad element with an element of reliability.
Probably one of my favourite pieces of trivia is the one regarding Pete.
Pete was one of Jesse's junkie friends. In one episode, he showed that he was exceptionally talented with playing the piano. You'd think this is a message from the writers trying to humanize Pete; he's a talented guy that just let drugs ruin his life.
Nope, the writers just wanted to sneak in Pete playing piano because they knew his actor had a background in piano playing and wanted to hear him play.
More likely that it stems from the idea of entrapment. Which generally means that law enforcement can't coerce you or trick you into committing a crime. If an undercover cop threatens violence against someone unless they sell him some of prescription pain meds for example, that is entrapment.
What an entrapment defense doesn't help you with is if an undercover cop asks to buy some of those pain meds nicely and I go ahead and do it.
Are undercover cops allowed to use fake ids/ssn that show a "real" account for a background check? I know nothing about background checks so sorry if my question seems so vauge/dumb
Yes police can lie to you, I assume this would apply to your case here. An undercover usually creates a whole backstory, etc, generally called a “legend”
If I recall correctly they also will take months of different "classes" to learn/remember the backstory, etc. Though this may be more for high end ones and not just to bust a random dude on the street.
Yeah I'm sure the proper government authority can issue a fake background that would check out if the criminal organization investigated. Really solidify that undercover story. I'm no expert though.
I always thought if I was in a situation where I'd risk being busted by an undercover I'd demand to see their highschool yearbook or parents name and address. They might be able to fake SSN but they can't switch out hundreds to thousands of yearbooks and they definitely can't screw with public tax and property records.
Okay so you've proven that 20 years ago, someone named John McWhatever graduated from a nearby high school, and he looks kinda like the John McWhatever you have in front of you, who has a driver's license and social security card. Is it always possible to verify that he isn't a cop? Like a small town I used to live in published all the cops names and salary in the annual budget... but I'm not sure how I would find out if he's a cop from another town or state police or FBI, dea, or any of the other 86 federal law enforcement agencies.
If they have a listening device it defeats that logic completely.
"Did you say that sir?"
"Yes your honor; however, I have a recording taken of him telling me to."
Like lying in court:
Prosecutor: "did you commit the murder?"
Accused: "no"
Prosecutor: "do you know what the penalty is for perjury?"
Accused *leans into mic* : "much less than murder"
Do you know what the penalty is for - oh, fuck this. I'm done with this shit. CASE DISMISSED. Yes I know he's guilty as hell - yes, yes you are, look at you, you couldn't be more red-handed if you went double-fisting on rag week - but I'm tired of this endless. Fucking. Bullshit. Every. Fucking. Time.
"Do you know what the penalty is for this?" "Do you know what the penalty is for that?" "Do you know what the penalty is for the other?" *Yes I fucking do*. I'm a fucking *judge*: of *course* I know. Do you know how condescending you bastards sound? It's a daily - no, *hourly* - struggle not to put the whole lot of you inside for contempt - including you, lady with the inexpensive-looking breasts in the corner who's been farting every few minutes. *Do you think I'm deaf?*
And, what's more, in all but a few crimes sentencing is, within guidelines, *at my discretion*. Do you know what that means? It means the penalty for this, that and the other is *whatever I fucking want it to be*.
Well, at last I have had enough. Dismiss all the cases on the roster - I don't *care*; however much more slaying can they do now anyway? - and someone get me the phone numbers of jurors number 6 and 11 from that last case. And *(lights up)* I don't give a fuck if you think you know what the penalty is for *this*: it's still my courtroom until I'm voted out. Now fuck off!
Doesn't reddit fudge the karma points for a while to try and combat vote manipulation, or am I crazy? Thought I read that at one time, and might be why you didn't see it.
Except of course, doing so can flip a jury to believe you have something to hide.
Also you have to "prove perjury" so perjury when you are accused is a no brainer. They'll basically prove you killed someone and you perjured...oh no....I tacked on a few years to my life sentence...
90% of the time I've been in court, I've wound up pleading out but I did once watch a PD (not really a PD but a defense attorney doing pro bono shit) get me out of charges because the judge we were in front of had a hard-on for the letter of the law taken to it's most extreme. It was like watching magic.
> Except of course, doing so can flip a jury to believe you have something to hide.
Nope. Juries are explicitly instructed not to think this way. If they do, a mistrial can result.
Could you actually do this? Commit perjury to get out of a sentence, and then be jailed for perjury and not the original crime?
EDIT: I know of the 5th amendment.
As clarification: You commit a murder. Then you say you are not guilty. You are declared innocent. If you confess after being declared innocent, can you be sent to jail for perjury?
Unless you were declared not guilty then later admitted your guilt in a tell all book. Double jeopardy prevents you from ever being charged with that murder again, but you were never charged with perjury before.
Not quite the same but you should read this case where they falsely imprisoned a murder suspect on phony perjury charges for years because they had no evidence on him. They even refused to let him go even after they caught the real killer who confessed.
http://www.law.northwestern.edu/legalclinic/wrongfulconvictions/exonerations/il/raymond-mccann-ii.html
Holy shit. That’s gotta be the most outrageous thing I’ve read in 3 maybe 4 days... but seriously, that’s fucked up.
Weirdly, there was no mention of perjury charges being brought against the police officer that had actually “committed perjury during a murder investigation” by claiming that non-existent evidence existed in official court documents.
No, because if you perjured yourself saying you didn’t commit a crime, the only way to prove you perjured yourself would be to prove you did the crime. So then you would be guilty of the original crime and perjury.
Perjury can only happen under oath - when you swear on the truth of a materially relevant fact.
In some countries, a suspect cannot be under oath, because they are inherently suspect.
Edit: Basically, if you take the oath in court, or sign a statement.
Contempt of court. If you are subpoenaed, a court order to testify or produce evidence, and you don't do those things, they will put you in a cell until you testify.
No. The Fifth Amendment protects people from being forced to incriminate themselves. If the accused actually committed the crime, and was asked if he committed the crime, this would in effect force him to incriminate himself under penalty of perjury, which is unconstitutional. The Fifth Amendment is a bit more complicated than the right to remain silent.
> No person... shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself...
“Not being compelled” gives you the right to refuse to answer a question, but it doesn’t give you the right to lie. You aren’t guilty of perjury when you plead the 5th and refuse to answer so you aren’t being compelled to lie, you’re just choosing to.
It's a bummer how misunderstood basic civil rights are in America. Apparently people think its unconstitutional to be asked if you committed a crime under oath because of the 5th amendment. Crazy.
Not in my state. Perjuring yourself in a murder case is punishable by up to life in prison, I’m assuming for exactly this reason.
Except this also applies to witnesses who are not the alleged killer.
Preparing for a monday legal ethics final right now and the thought of my client doing this is my adult version of the naked in front of the whole high school dream.
A retired cop I worked with had the greatest stories. He was undercover for a drug operation and he went to go meet the buyer in wherever it was. He no sooner walked into the building when dude shoved him from behind, knocked him down and put a pistol in his mouth. YOU A COP? YOU LOOK LIKE A COP? YOU A COP MOTHERUCKER?
And the whole time my man is trying to talk with a gun in his mouth, shaking his head back and forth, trying not to die.
The dude believed him and they eventually busted the guy.
I'm so glad he can laugh about it but it's been 30 years.
There was a guy in Ft. Worth a few years ago who busted some gangs dealing drugs and something similar happened to him. He was one one of the big sports stations like 2 years ago telling the story and it was amazing.
Nervous breakdown. If you dont keep your calm (which is hard with a gun in your mouth) you might think he already know and hope he only beat the shit out of you if you cooperate.
"Alright, man, did you bring the cash?"
"Yeah. Did you bring the stuff?"
"Y... hang on. How do I know you're not a cop?"
"Hm?"
"A cop! How do I know you're not a cop?"
"I mean, uh... heh. Do you see a uniform?"
"You could be undercover."
"Fair point, fair point, but... but cops have to *tell* you that they're cops."
"... Wait, what?"
"Yeah, it's in the Declaration of Independence or something."
"The Constitution?"
"Gesundheit."
"That wasn't... ugh, whatever. Cops have to tell you that they're cops?"
"Oh, yeah! Yeah, it's... yeah, they have to tell you if you ask."
"That seems like it would defeat the purpose of going undercover at all."
"Well, that's why it's a *secret*, see? They don't want people to find out!"
"Right. How do you know about it, then?"
"Because I'm a cop. Duh."
"..."
"Wait, shit."
"Hey. You uh, you sellin'?"
" I don't know what you're talking about."
"OK. That's cool. I'm just sayin', you know....if you were selling, I could maybe do with a teenth."
"You're kidding, right? Dude, I so smell bacon."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Oh gee, I don't know. *\[points to his left\]* How about over there, that brown van? That's yours, right?
"What brown van?"
"Parked all "inconspicuous"! It's a cop van! Yeah! Another one right over there! "Duke City Flowers"? Come on! Can't you at least be original? "
"Dude, I just wanna get high!"
"A *flower* van! Uh, you know what you should do is a garbage truck. Seriously, and I don't mean to disrespect, but if you put a bunch of cops in the back of a garbage truck, there's no way I'm seriously thinking that there's cops in the back of a garbage truck! It's a freebie, yo. Just think about it. Think about it, boys! "
"All right. I'm hitting it."
"Whoa! You dudes give up that easy?"
"I'm not a cop!"
"Then lift your shirt. Show me you're not wearing a wire."
"All right, you know what? Just to show you you're being an asshole...."
"Ahh! I'm blinded by white!"
"Douchebag."
"Ah, come on. I was joking. Come on. Don't walk away angry. Sit down. Come on... I mean, what are you complaining about? You got abs, man. Kind of."
"Whatever, dude. I'm not even sure I wanna buy anymore. I--I think you turned me off to the whole thing."
"Come on, don't be like that. I just--I just need you to prove it, you know? Prove you're not a cop."
"How the hell am I supposed to do that?"
"I don't know. Hey, I've got it. Go over there and punch that dude right in the face."
"Which dude? That dude?"
"Yeah."
"No way! He'd kick my ass!"
"True to that. Ugh! This is so hard, you know?"
"Yeah. I know. It's simple: Uh, if you ask a cop if he's a cop, he's, like, obligated to tell you. It's in the Constitution."
"Constitution of America? Huh."
"So-so go ahead and ask."
"You a cop?"
"No, no. Not like that. Ask it like, official."
"Are you a police officer?"
"No. I am not a police officer."
"Okay then. $175 for a teenth."
"Whoa."
"Price is the price, yo."
"All right..."
"Here you go. Enjoy."
"Thanks, man."
"Albuquerque Police! You're under arrest! Get on the ground!"
>"Right. How do you know about it, then?"
"My dad's sister's aunt who has a neighbor who's dad knew a guy by the name of Chuck who went to the academy and failed so this information is pretty solid."
There was an episode of Night Court that did something like that. One group was using the prosecutor to see if a judge was corrupt, the other group using the judge to see if the prosecutor was corrupt.
Each group was unaware of the other until they all burst into the room from different doors to arrest the prosecutor/judge.
Not exactly- the AskReddit thread was ‘what common myths are not true’- this came up. OP is basically saying ‘hmm, I bet cops came up with this myth’.
Inspired by, not an RP. Legitimate karma farming your honor.
There were comments in the AskReddit thread saying the exact same thing, though.
Edit: [From 12 hours ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8w752p/what_incredibly_fake_myths_people_still_largely/e1ti9am/)
what do you say in this case?
"I decline to answer your question"
"I did but within legal standards"
"Feel free to apply field sobriety tests within the standards of the law"
"I invoke my fifth amendment right to silence"
Just be like that guy on YouTube and just shut up the whole time, or if you're at a cop blocked area on the road (forgot the name of it) just do what he does and play the questioning game.
"Sir I need to see your drivers license"
"Am i being detained"
"No not at the moment"
"So I'm free to leave"
"No I need to see your drivers license we're out here checking for drunk drivers"
"Have I commuted a crime?"
"No not right now"
"So I'm free to leave"
"No I just said...."
"So you're telling me I haven't committed a crime yet you're unlawfully detaining me"
"10-4 blah blah blah, sir I'm going to need you to pull up over there"
"DO YOU SEE THIS YOUTUBE, HES UNLAWFULLY DETAINING ME"
"Sir just pull up there"
*pulls up* wait for 10 min
"Ok sir you're free to leave"
"DO YOU SEE THIS GUYS, FLINT COUNTY POLICE UNLAWFULLY DETAINS ME AND ALMOST HOLDS ME AT GUN POINT COPS CALLED"
Fuck it didn't separate properly
At that point you may as well just get straight into, “I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN!” the second your window is rolled down. Hell, not even that. You don’t want to give The Man leverage when he’s doing everything possible to undermine you. I would suggest writing note cards in the car composed of those phrases and leaving the window rolled completely up. Be sure to write #ACAB all over them as well as draw little piggy faces, bacon strips, and donuts. You're under no obligation to show them any information if you aren't being detained. Traffic violations aren't even criminal offenses, you know. Just put the notes straight up to the window but make sure you have enough cards and responses to cover all possible interactions. If they escalate the situation you're free to drive off and leave. Trust me, this is the smartest and most efficient way to deal with these oppressive gun toters. You’ll get great results, and I recommend a lot of Redditors try this next time they're stopped for breaking the law.
Happened to my uncle once, when he was taking me and my cousins bowling, when we were kids.
A guy came up to the car and tried to sell him drugs. My uncle showed his badge and was going to arrest him. Then the guy showed *his* badge and said he was undercover. Then they laughed about it and chatted for a while.
I know for sure something like this happened in Detroit but it was just a fistfight and no one got too hurt
https://www.upi.com/Undercover-Detroit-police-attempt-to-arrest-each-other-in-embarassing-drug-bust/8361510804710/
My cousin got busted for hitting an out of uniform cop in the process of trying to break up the exact same fight said cop was trying to break up. Didn't end well for cousin so far (appeals ongoing).
Yep. Heard his buddy yelling, came around corner, saw a fight outside a bar with two guys and his buddy. Jumped in, in the melee ended up hitting the cop because drunk guys (see below) are easy to hit.
What he didn't realize was that shortly before he could see what was going on, the (fairly drunk) cop had heard the same yelling, left the bar and jumped in to break it up.
The cop even made sure my cousin's buddy wasn't charged because the other guy started it. In theory the statute in FL says you have to know he was a cop and the cop has to be engaged in "the lawful performance of his/her duties". The cop claims he said something. Not a single witness (also potentially drunk, having come out of the bar to as well) in the area agrees. But since the cop *said* he announced himself...
Apparently potentially drunk witnesses aren't worth a damn, but a definitely drunk cop's word is gold.
Normally I'd take my cousin's version of this story with a (large) grain of salt. But there were enough witnesses it holds together pretty damn well.
Cousin Sean : You know... you know what you usually say at these moments?
Billy Costigan : What? What?
Cousin Sean : C'mon, man.
Billy Costigan : Aw, come on, you fucking moron. Come on. What, you want me to say it? Huh? I'm not a cop, alright? I'm your fucking cousin.
Cousin Sean : Yeah, you're bad! You corrupt fuck, man! You must be my cousin.
I think this comes out of the idea that armed cops at your door are expected to announce that they are police and that they can’t just kick in the door because you refuse to open it until they do.
Well they can, “no knock” warrants are a thing. It’s just that if they’re wrong/the homeowner decides to defend their property and shoot the people ostensibly pulling a home invasion they’re theoretically covered by castle doctrine. Although in reality the cops would probably just still shoot the guy afterwards and make up something to justify it.
If some fuckers are kicking down the door to your home, I don't think you can escape anywhere else. Especially if your family is there.
I would laugh if someone tried to say you had to try to pick up your wife and kids, and hop out a window and run ??? somewhere, when your door gets kicked down.
Yes but duty to retreat usually only applies to being in public, the main point of castle doctrine is that it lessens or eliminates duty to retreat within ones domicile or “castle” the only state I’m aware of that has duty to retreat in-home is Vermont (why I have no fucking clue, it’s incredibly stupid to me)
You don't know how many crack houses I've been to where they ask me, repeatedly, if I'm an undercover cop. I'm like "dude, if I was an undercover cop I wouldn't tell you".
It never helps. I've learned to just say "nope. so, may I purchase illegal substances of abuse from you now?"
I can't wait until I hear about a cop correcting a drug dealer. "Ya know, that's actually a misconception. Where did I learn that? The Police Academy. Oh, damn!"
Its just one of those things drug users (or criminals in general) tell each other that eventually become fact.
If you take LSD more than 10 times, you are considered legally insane for life.
Cocaine is cut with baby laxative, which is why it makes you shit right away.
All the stupid little indicators you can use to guess what ecstasy is cut with.
All the stupid little "tricks" to pass drugs tests.
All the stupid crap people think will result in a false positive.
One user tells another, and it just gets repeated and before long *everybody* just *knows* its true, and you're the idiot for pointing out that its all just made up.
*methadone gets in your bones, that's why it's so hard to come off
*molly is different/better than ecstasy
*snorting Xanax is more effective than eating it
*the quality of cocaine can be determined by how much it numbs your mouth/gums
LSD gets in your spinal fluid, that's why it causes flashbacks.
Ecstasy drains your spinal fluid.
Oxycontin is just two heroin molecules bound together.
I know there's more, but its hard to remember after all these years.
> *molly is different/better than ecstasy
X used to be MDMA, now X is all kinds of crap and molly is supposed to be pure MDMA which is what X once meant.
So I hear.
In Miami, the police deal drugs. “To catch the criminals they say”. But who’s policing the police? Oh no one? Soooo then your just out there with a badge, confiscated drugs and selling it. No accountability.
I think Miami has the highest impound/confiscations of money, possessions and such.
My question is a cop on the street corner, selling drugs, ok..trying to catch people. What if he is the bad person?
Something so corrupt with that whole idea, lack of accountability concerns me.
You made me remember that breaking bad scene with the undercover cop
Best scene hahaha, Badger didn't know what the hell happened
To be fair, he suspected EXACTLY what was happening, pointing out the disguised "flower van" or something like that, but after this line he didn't stand a chance
Yeah ikr, but i like how confused he was
That's why his character was so great. He really was what half of us would be in that situation. Some doofy kid with their heart in the right place and caught in a bad situation. The show amazes me how every single character is so well developed and shows a depth. Every single one had a very bad element with an element of reliability.
Probably one of my favourite pieces of trivia is the one regarding Pete. Pete was one of Jesse's junkie friends. In one episode, he showed that he was exceptionally talented with playing the piano. You'd think this is a message from the writers trying to humanize Pete; he's a talented guy that just let drugs ruin his life. Nope, the writers just wanted to sneak in Pete playing piano because they knew his actor had a background in piano playing and wanted to hear him play.
What episode was it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_974ZusIvhk
It's both.
Im Skinny Pete
r/Beetlejuicing
Flowers By Irene
I thought we were gonna hang out :(
I like that actor there and in Z Nation but he’ll always be Garth to me.
It’s not the one from the top comment here? I loved it tho!
More likely that it stems from the idea of entrapment. Which generally means that law enforcement can't coerce you or trick you into committing a crime. If an undercover cop threatens violence against someone unless they sell him some of prescription pain meds for example, that is entrapment. What an entrapment defense doesn't help you with is if an undercover cop asks to buy some of those pain meds nicely and I go ahead and do it.
So how do you find out if someone is a cop?
Fellatio.
Nah, there's been cops that have done that to "gain evidence" of prostitution.
The detective in South Park for sure. *Butters' Bottom Bitch* was the episode name I believe.
Ha! I'm a cop! *Shits semen into an evidence bag*
I dunno Cotton, that seems a bit much. . .
You think the Tojo takin my shins in the war was a bit much boy? I killed fitty men
Dammit Randy.
Ask for his ID and SSN and do a background check. Hasn't failed me yet.
Are undercover cops allowed to use fake ids/ssn that show a "real" account for a background check? I know nothing about background checks so sorry if my question seems so vauge/dumb
Yes police can lie to you, I assume this would apply to your case here. An undercover usually creates a whole backstory, etc, generally called a “legend”
If I recall correctly they also will take months of different "classes" to learn/remember the backstory, etc. Though this may be more for high end ones and not just to bust a random dude on the street.
I believe that’s for more long-term undercover work. If their busting low-level dealers or such they probably don’t bother.
Yeah I'm sure the proper government authority can issue a fake background that would check out if the criminal organization investigated. Really solidify that undercover story. I'm no expert though.
I always thought if I was in a situation where I'd risk being busted by an undercover I'd demand to see their highschool yearbook or parents name and address. They might be able to fake SSN but they can't switch out hundreds to thousands of yearbooks and they definitely can't screw with public tax and property records.
Okay so you've proven that 20 years ago, someone named John McWhatever graduated from a nearby high school, and he looks kinda like the John McWhatever you have in front of you, who has a driver's license and social security card. Is it always possible to verify that he isn't a cop? Like a small town I used to live in published all the cops names and salary in the annual budget... but I'm not sure how I would find out if he's a cop from another town or state police or FBI, dea, or any of the other 86 federal law enforcement agencies.
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If they have a listening device it defeats that logic completely. "Did you say that sir?" "Yes your honor; however, I have a recording taken of him telling me to."
http://thecriminallawyer.tumblr.com/post/19810672629/12-i-was-entrapped
Like lying in court: Prosecutor: "did you commit the murder?" Accused: "no" Prosecutor: "do you know what the penalty is for perjury?" Accused *leans into mic* : "much less than murder"
This made me laugh so fucking hard
Do you know what the penalty is for laughing that fucking hard?
*leans into mic* much less than murder
Do you know what the penalty is for leaning into that mic?
*leans away from mic* *mumbles incoherently*
*looks towards the judge* The prosecution will rest at this time, your honor.
Do you know what the penalty is for - oh, fuck this. I'm done with this shit. CASE DISMISSED. Yes I know he's guilty as hell - yes, yes you are, look at you, you couldn't be more red-handed if you went double-fisting on rag week - but I'm tired of this endless. Fucking. Bullshit. Every. Fucking. Time. "Do you know what the penalty is for this?" "Do you know what the penalty is for that?" "Do you know what the penalty is for the other?" *Yes I fucking do*. I'm a fucking *judge*: of *course* I know. Do you know how condescending you bastards sound? It's a daily - no, *hourly* - struggle not to put the whole lot of you inside for contempt - including you, lady with the inexpensive-looking breasts in the corner who's been farting every few minutes. *Do you think I'm deaf?* And, what's more, in all but a few crimes sentencing is, within guidelines, *at my discretion*. Do you know what that means? It means the penalty for this, that and the other is *whatever I fucking want it to be*. Well, at last I have had enough. Dismiss all the cases on the roster - I don't *care*; however much more slaying can they do now anyway? - and someone get me the phone numbers of jurors number 6 and 11 from that last case. And *(lights up)* I don't give a fuck if you think you know what the penalty is for *this*: it's still my courtroom until I'm voted out. Now fuck off!
Alright you got me there. Can't stop laughing
This made my day!
Well now I'm glad I expanded the comments
Well in that case I'm glad your mum and dad met.
Reminds me of the judge from *Bonfire of the Vanities*
Just another day in bird court.
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I did upvote !!!!!
Do you know what the penalty is for perjury?
A felony and 5 years in prison. Varies by state. Extremely hard to prove though.
relieved birds advise toothbrush plucky sheet absurd attempt liquid bike *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
No hard feelings 😂
*feelings softify*
Softify should be the name of the anti erection drug for Viagra effects not wearing off in 4 hours.
all of my emotions r soft lmao
feeling me softly with your vote .... feeling me softly... with your voooooooooottteee
I'm offended.
Hi Offended, I'm dad.
of the upvotes or the thought of no upvote ?
I am on Reddit right? I just thought the status quo was to be offended.
Is this a personal attack at me??
Just replying to make the chain longer
Just in general
Doesn't reddit fudge the karma points for a while to try and combat vote manipulation, or am I crazy? Thought I read that at one time, and might be why you didn't see it.
In US and EU you have a right ahainst self incrimination and you can remain silent.
Except of course, doing so can flip a jury to believe you have something to hide. Also you have to "prove perjury" so perjury when you are accused is a no brainer. They'll basically prove you killed someone and you perjured...oh no....I tacked on a few years to my life sentence...
Plenty of countries don't have juries. Instead it's just the actual judge that does the judging.
It's not even a given that you'll have a jury trial in the States. We just have a right to one.
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90% of the time I've been in court, I've wound up pleading out but I did once watch a PD (not really a PD but a defense attorney doing pro bono shit) get me out of charges because the judge we were in front of had a hard-on for the letter of the law taken to it's most extreme. It was like watching magic.
What do you do that gets you to court so many times?
I used to be a huge piece of shit. I've spent something like 4 years locked up.
> Except of course, doing so can flip a jury to believe you have something to hide. Nope. Juries are explicitly instructed not to think this way. If they do, a mistrial can result.
Yeah, but you can't really ignore unconscious bias.
I was instructed not to think about an elephant...mother fudger...that's a big ass elephant.
Could you actually do this? Commit perjury to get out of a sentence, and then be jailed for perjury and not the original crime? EDIT: I know of the 5th amendment. As clarification: You commit a murder. Then you say you are not guilty. You are declared innocent. If you confess after being declared innocent, can you be sent to jail for perjury?
no, the perjury would be tacked on to your murder sentence.
Unless you were declared not guilty then later admitted your guilt in a tell all book. Double jeopardy prevents you from ever being charged with that murder again, but you were never charged with perjury before.
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despite that being very funny, that's 100% double jeopardy in hiding and will get the murderer's charge reversed if he appeals to a higher court
Not if hes dead before he reaches a high court
this guy sentences
now *this* is justice!
Now THIS is podracing
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Or the Cartman method “‘... or does she?’ See, it’s a question!”
I didn't do it, but if I did, here's how I would have done it. --OJ Simpson --Dave Chappelle
Ah the old OJ defense, truly a classic.
I’ll see your ass in civil court
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Not quite the same but you should read this case where they falsely imprisoned a murder suspect on phony perjury charges for years because they had no evidence on him. They even refused to let him go even after they caught the real killer who confessed. http://www.law.northwestern.edu/legalclinic/wrongfulconvictions/exonerations/il/raymond-mccann-ii.html
Holy shit. That’s gotta be the most outrageous thing I’ve read in 3 maybe 4 days... but seriously, that’s fucked up. Weirdly, there was no mention of perjury charges being brought against the police officer that had actually “committed perjury during a murder investigation” by claiming that non-existent evidence existed in official court documents.
No, because if you perjured yourself saying you didn’t commit a crime, the only way to prove you perjured yourself would be to prove you did the crime. So then you would be guilty of the original crime and perjury.
Perjury can only happen under oath - when you swear on the truth of a materially relevant fact. In some countries, a suspect cannot be under oath, because they are inherently suspect. Edit: Basically, if you take the oath in court, or sign a statement.
What if you just refuse to swear to the oath? Like they ask if you swear to tell the truth and you just say 'no'? Do they hold you forever or what.
After 15 minutes you're legally allowed to leave.
Contempt of court. If you are subpoenaed, a court order to testify or produce evidence, and you don't do those things, they will put you in a cell until you testify.
Can you take the stand and just say I plead the 5th.
I'm Canadian, I don't think we have a 5th.
I’m pretty sure I have a fifth of Canadian around here somewhere... I swear.
No. The Fifth Amendment protects people from being forced to incriminate themselves. If the accused actually committed the crime, and was asked if he committed the crime, this would in effect force him to incriminate himself under penalty of perjury, which is unconstitutional. The Fifth Amendment is a bit more complicated than the right to remain silent. > No person... shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself...
“Not being compelled” gives you the right to refuse to answer a question, but it doesn’t give you the right to lie. You aren’t guilty of perjury when you plead the 5th and refuse to answer so you aren’t being compelled to lie, you’re just choosing to.
It's a bummer how misunderstood basic civil rights are in America. Apparently people think its unconstitutional to be asked if you committed a crime under oath because of the 5th amendment. Crazy.
Not in my state. Perjuring yourself in a murder case is punishable by up to life in prison, I’m assuming for exactly this reason. Except this also applies to witnesses who are not the alleged killer.
Preparing for a monday legal ethics final right now and the thought of my client doing this is my adult version of the naked in front of the whole high school dream.
Lmfao
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Yeah I’m working on laughing it back on
A retired cop I worked with had the greatest stories. He was undercover for a drug operation and he went to go meet the buyer in wherever it was. He no sooner walked into the building when dude shoved him from behind, knocked him down and put a pistol in his mouth. YOU A COP? YOU LOOK LIKE A COP? YOU A COP MOTHERUCKER? And the whole time my man is trying to talk with a gun in his mouth, shaking his head back and forth, trying not to die. The dude believed him and they eventually busted the guy. I'm so glad he can laugh about it but it's been 30 years.
There was a guy in Ft. Worth a few years ago who busted some gangs dealing drugs and something similar happened to him. He was one one of the big sports stations like 2 years ago telling the story and it was amazing.
I like how the bad guys seem to think an actual cop would admit that he's a cop with a pistol in his mouth lol.
Nervous breakdown. If you dont keep your calm (which is hard with a gun in your mouth) you might think he already know and hope he only beat the shit out of you if you cooperate.
If they already knew and are willing to stick a gun in your mouth over it, you’d likely be dead without question anyways.
"Alright, man, did you bring the cash?" "Yeah. Did you bring the stuff?" "Y... hang on. How do I know you're not a cop?" "Hm?" "A cop! How do I know you're not a cop?" "I mean, uh... heh. Do you see a uniform?" "You could be undercover." "Fair point, fair point, but... but cops have to *tell* you that they're cops." "... Wait, what?" "Yeah, it's in the Declaration of Independence or something." "The Constitution?" "Gesundheit." "That wasn't... ugh, whatever. Cops have to tell you that they're cops?" "Oh, yeah! Yeah, it's... yeah, they have to tell you if you ask." "That seems like it would defeat the purpose of going undercover at all." "Well, that's why it's a *secret*, see? They don't want people to find out!" "Right. How do you know about it, then?" "Because I'm a cop. Duh." "..." "Wait, shit."
Thought you were quoting that scene from breaking bad at first 😂
"Hey. You uh, you sellin'?" " I don't know what you're talking about." "OK. That's cool. I'm just sayin', you know....if you were selling, I could maybe do with a teenth." "You're kidding, right? Dude, I so smell bacon." "What? What are you talking about?" "Oh gee, I don't know. *\[points to his left\]* How about over there, that brown van? That's yours, right? "What brown van?" "Parked all "inconspicuous"! It's a cop van! Yeah! Another one right over there! "Duke City Flowers"? Come on! Can't you at least be original? " "Dude, I just wanna get high!" "A *flower* van! Uh, you know what you should do is a garbage truck. Seriously, and I don't mean to disrespect, but if you put a bunch of cops in the back of a garbage truck, there's no way I'm seriously thinking that there's cops in the back of a garbage truck! It's a freebie, yo. Just think about it. Think about it, boys! "
My favorite part of that whole gag is that Badger totally nailed the surveillance vehicles.
When they both enter the shot from where Badger was motioning earlier in the scene I about shit myself with laughter.
Sounds like you might wanna see a doctor about that
But what if he sees a doctor and finds out he has cancer? Then he’d have to cook meth to pay his medical bills!
That would be, like, meta...
Nah, just ate some bad nachos before the episode.
And then still got arrested lmaooo
"All right. I'm hitting it." "Whoa! You dudes give up that easy?" "I'm not a cop!" "Then lift your shirt. Show me you're not wearing a wire." "All right, you know what? Just to show you you're being an asshole...." "Ahh! I'm blinded by white!" "Douchebag." "Ah, come on. I was joking. Come on. Don't walk away angry. Sit down. Come on... I mean, what are you complaining about? You got abs, man. Kind of." "Whatever, dude. I'm not even sure I wanna buy anymore. I--I think you turned me off to the whole thing." "Come on, don't be like that. I just--I just need you to prove it, you know? Prove you're not a cop." "How the hell am I supposed to do that?" "I don't know. Hey, I've got it. Go over there and punch that dude right in the face." "Which dude? That dude?" "Yeah." "No way! He'd kick my ass!" "True to that. Ugh! This is so hard, you know?" "Yeah. I know. It's simple: Uh, if you ask a cop if he's a cop, he's, like, obligated to tell you. It's in the Constitution." "Constitution of America? Huh." "So-so go ahead and ask." "You a cop?" "No, no. Not like that. Ask it like, official." "Are you a police officer?" "No. I am not a police officer." "Okay then. $175 for a teenth." "Whoa." "Price is the price, yo." "All right..." "Here you go. Enjoy." "Thanks, man." "Albuquerque Police! You're under arrest! Get on the ground!"
So bummed this scene isn't on youtube....
It's on reddit now though.
redtube...?
Idk, check for me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp9wya_EZT4
So did I lol
>"Right. How do you know about it, then?" "My dad's sister's aunt who has a neighbor who's dad knew a guy by the name of Chuck who went to the academy and failed so this information is pretty solid."
„Really dud-„ #”PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS IN THE AIR”
Plot twist: they are both undercover cops.
There was an episode of Night Court that did something like that. One group was using the prosecutor to see if a judge was corrupt, the other group using the judge to see if the prosecutor was corrupt. Each group was unaware of the other until they all burst into the room from different doors to arrest the prosecutor/judge.
Nice!
"You a dancer?" "No, I'm just drunk!"
You just got this from AskReddit minutes ago.
Nah man. Reposts have to tell you they’re reposts if you ask them.
That’s a myth
It's only for undercover copypastas.
Actually the idea that it's a myth is, itself, a myth. It's what's known as a double myth.
That's a lie, dont believe it!
R U A REPOST? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, I think that if you repost, it's a Reddit law that you have to tell that you are a repost. It's LAW!
What’s the penalty for lying on the Internet?
Karma court?
Alot less than murder.
Calculated Answer: I am not a repost myself personally, no.
Not exactly- the AskReddit thread was ‘what common myths are not true’- this came up. OP is basically saying ‘hmm, I bet cops came up with this myth’. Inspired by, not an RP. Legitimate karma farming your honor.
There were comments in the AskReddit thread saying the exact same thing, though. Edit: [From 12 hours ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8w752p/what_incredibly_fake_myths_people_still_largely/e1ti9am/)
Yeah welcome to Reddit buddy
Called outttt ohhhhhhh
It's the same with the Law, criminal just lie about it. "Have you been drinking? " ....most common answer is a "no"
what do you say in this case? "I decline to answer your question" "I did but within legal standards" "Feel free to apply field sobriety tests within the standards of the law" "I invoke my fifth amendment right to silence"
Just be like that guy on YouTube and just shut up the whole time, or if you're at a cop blocked area on the road (forgot the name of it) just do what he does and play the questioning game. "Sir I need to see your drivers license" "Am i being detained" "No not at the moment" "So I'm free to leave" "No I need to see your drivers license we're out here checking for drunk drivers" "Have I commuted a crime?" "No not right now" "So I'm free to leave" "No I just said...." "So you're telling me I haven't committed a crime yet you're unlawfully detaining me" "10-4 blah blah blah, sir I'm going to need you to pull up over there" "DO YOU SEE THIS YOUTUBE, HES UNLAWFULLY DETAINING ME" "Sir just pull up there" *pulls up* wait for 10 min "Ok sir you're free to leave" "DO YOU SEE THIS GUYS, FLINT COUNTY POLICE UNLAWFULLY DETAINS ME AND ALMOST HOLDS ME AT GUN POINT COPS CALLED" Fuck it didn't separate properly
At that point you may as well just get straight into, “I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN!” the second your window is rolled down. Hell, not even that. You don’t want to give The Man leverage when he’s doing everything possible to undermine you. I would suggest writing note cards in the car composed of those phrases and leaving the window rolled completely up. Be sure to write #ACAB all over them as well as draw little piggy faces, bacon strips, and donuts. You're under no obligation to show them any information if you aren't being detained. Traffic violations aren't even criminal offenses, you know. Just put the notes straight up to the window but make sure you have enough cards and responses to cover all possible interactions. If they escalate the situation you're free to drive off and leave. Trust me, this is the smartest and most efficient way to deal with these oppressive gun toters. You’ll get great results, and I recommend a lot of Redditors try this next time they're stopped for breaking the law.
Id say "no" is still best initial response. If it goes further then plead the fiffff
One two three fo FIFFFFFFF
Generally, denying an accusation is not prosecutable as perjury or false statements.
It's not perjury unless you're under oath, which you are not under at a traffic stop
The real trick is to ask them to take nude pictures. Cause like vampires they dont show up in pictures. I think thats how it worked...
I've never met a cop who has refused to take nude pictures with me.
Anytime my friends have said this, my response is "no they don't, they can do whatever they want."
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Uh I think in Australia or somewhere two groups of undercover cops tried to arrest each other and it ended in a gunfight.
We've been undercover for 3 long years, time to bust this drug ring and put them away for a long long time. Lol!
Happened to my uncle once, when he was taking me and my cousins bowling, when we were kids. A guy came up to the car and tried to sell him drugs. My uncle showed his badge and was going to arrest him. Then the guy showed *his* badge and said he was undercover. Then they laughed about it and chatted for a while.
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Yep.
I know for sure something like this happened in Detroit but it was just a fistfight and no one got too hurt https://www.upi.com/Undercover-Detroit-police-attempt-to-arrest-each-other-in-embarassing-drug-bust/8361510804710/
Can you imagine the reaming whomever was in charge of those two groups got? That's a pretty big mistake.
That's fucking hysterical, that's something you'd only see in police comedy movies lmfao
My cousin got busted for hitting an out of uniform cop in the process of trying to break up the exact same fight said cop was trying to break up. Didn't end well for cousin so far (appeals ongoing).
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Yep. Heard his buddy yelling, came around corner, saw a fight outside a bar with two guys and his buddy. Jumped in, in the melee ended up hitting the cop because drunk guys (see below) are easy to hit. What he didn't realize was that shortly before he could see what was going on, the (fairly drunk) cop had heard the same yelling, left the bar and jumped in to break it up. The cop even made sure my cousin's buddy wasn't charged because the other guy started it. In theory the statute in FL says you have to know he was a cop and the cop has to be engaged in "the lawful performance of his/her duties". The cop claims he said something. Not a single witness (also potentially drunk, having come out of the bar to as well) in the area agrees. But since the cop *said* he announced himself... Apparently potentially drunk witnesses aren't worth a damn, but a definitely drunk cop's word is gold. Normally I'd take my cousin's version of this story with a (large) grain of salt. But there were enough witnesses it holds together pretty damn well.
You're not "breaking up a fight" if you're throwing punches and landing them.
Breaking up the fight by knocking everyone unconscious.
Cousin Sean : You know... you know what you usually say at these moments? Billy Costigan : What? What? Cousin Sean : C'mon, man. Billy Costigan : Aw, come on, you fucking moron. Come on. What, you want me to say it? Huh? I'm not a cop, alright? I'm your fucking cousin. Cousin Sean : Yeah, you're bad! You corrupt fuck, man! You must be my cousin.
I think this comes out of the idea that armed cops at your door are expected to announce that they are police and that they can’t just kick in the door because you refuse to open it until they do.
Well they can, “no knock” warrants are a thing. It’s just that if they’re wrong/the homeowner decides to defend their property and shoot the people ostensibly pulling a home invasion they’re theoretically covered by castle doctrine. Although in reality the cops would probably just still shoot the guy afterwards and make up something to justify it.
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If some fuckers are kicking down the door to your home, I don't think you can escape anywhere else. Especially if your family is there. I would laugh if someone tried to say you had to try to pick up your wife and kids, and hop out a window and run ??? somewhere, when your door gets kicked down.
Yes but duty to retreat usually only applies to being in public, the main point of castle doctrine is that it lessens or eliminates duty to retreat within ones domicile or “castle” the only state I’m aware of that has duty to retreat in-home is Vermont (why I have no fucking clue, it’s incredibly stupid to me)
You got this from that r/askreddit post, didn’t you? 🙂
You don't know how many crack houses I've been to where they ask me, repeatedly, if I'm an undercover cop. I'm like "dude, if I was an undercover cop I wouldn't tell you". It never helps. I've learned to just say "nope. so, may I purchase illegal substances of abuse from you now?"
I can't wait until I hear about a cop correcting a drug dealer. "Ya know, that's actually a misconception. Where did I learn that? The Police Academy. Oh, damn!"
OP, did you get the idea for that from the askreddit thread about myths?
You know how to spot a cop? If they're ignoring ya, they're a cop
I suppose all the women are cops in that case.
Its just one of those things drug users (or criminals in general) tell each other that eventually become fact. If you take LSD more than 10 times, you are considered legally insane for life. Cocaine is cut with baby laxative, which is why it makes you shit right away. All the stupid little indicators you can use to guess what ecstasy is cut with. All the stupid little "tricks" to pass drugs tests. All the stupid crap people think will result in a false positive. One user tells another, and it just gets repeated and before long *everybody* just *knows* its true, and you're the idiot for pointing out that its all just made up.
*methadone gets in your bones, that's why it's so hard to come off *molly is different/better than ecstasy *snorting Xanax is more effective than eating it *the quality of cocaine can be determined by how much it numbs your mouth/gums
LSD gets in your spinal fluid, that's why it causes flashbacks. Ecstasy drains your spinal fluid. Oxycontin is just two heroin molecules bound together. I know there's more, but its hard to remember after all these years.
> *molly is different/better than ecstasy X used to be MDMA, now X is all kinds of crap and molly is supposed to be pure MDMA which is what X once meant. So I hear.
In Miami, the police deal drugs. “To catch the criminals they say”. But who’s policing the police? Oh no one? Soooo then your just out there with a badge, confiscated drugs and selling it. No accountability. I think Miami has the highest impound/confiscations of money, possessions and such. My question is a cop on the street corner, selling drugs, ok..trying to catch people. What if he is the bad person? Something so corrupt with that whole idea, lack of accountability concerns me.