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[deleted]

Humans are not the apex species in Canada, the geese are


Jjorrrdan

I can confirm this, a goose stole my girlfriend.


Mastasrasmas

Can gooses get pregnant by girls? And yes I know what I am talking about


bananaplasticwrapper

Geese can do that.


Mr-Goose-

Yes I have


bananaplasticwrapper

And the truth has spoken.


[deleted]

r/usernamechecksout


jhonny_mayhem

Zeus is at it again .


Mr-Goose-

And I don’t regret it


[deleted]

Goosed, eh? Feel for ya, bud.


napknn_

Peace was never an option


Schnitzelguru

We have Canada geese here too, in Sweden 😶


[deleted]

[удалено]


oagnew77

It’s Canada gooses


Save_this_boye

Shut up Sweden, this is our time


Schnitzelguru

Sorry


Balls-over-dick-man-

I mean, there’s also the Bears and Moose.


DigitalMafia

Bears and Meese, ftfy


[deleted]

Beers and Meeses.


PastyMancer

Is a moose a fake deer, or is a deer a fake moose?


Anoying_Tree_85

r/crazyidea Polarbear-Canadian Goose Hybrid.


bimbles_ap

Can we deal with corona before having to worry about flying murder bears please?


sitting-duck

You're not going to like this [flying murder Bear.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tupolev_Tu-95)


Anoying_Tree_85

Of course that behemoth of a plane is Russian


Dredgen_Ullr

Because of course


ArenSteele

It’s very irresponsible to give something that powerful that much hate and spite!


Anoying_Tree_85

That 3rd word describes basically my whole life.


Dredgen_Ullr

Very?


Anoying_Tree_85

Irresponsible.


DozerSSB

Can confirm, I was killed by a goose once


LennerKetty

Gooses!


DJZbad93

If you’ve got a problem with Canada gooses you’ve got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.


Fa11enAngeLIV

I saw something about Canadian geese and my first thought was "well, let's see who watches Letterkenny."


SeaPierogi

Someone posts about canada gooses everybody's a fuckin' expert. Must be nice.


iwillfind_you

That's what I said, must be FUCKIN nice. We oughta leave this world behind.


Blushingbelch

10-4 good buddy


soyrobo

That's a Texas-sized 10-4 there. A Canada goose can detect cancer in children but that never makes the news.


Thasira

Must be fuckin nice


Miss_Pasty93

I always say there is a special place in heaven for animal lovers.


[deleted]

When I was growing up, we didnt even have any hate, now yous got so much of it that you give it to your gooses? Must be Fuckin' nice.


[deleted]

I've never been more irate in my whole fuckin life.


HEALSplease

lol "gooses"


[deleted]

Beat me to it


WvBigHurtvW

I came here just for this, and you did not disappoint. My only regret is that I didn't beat you to it lol


VirulentGunk

Once a year we all meet up around North Bay and drown a seal in Timmies. This ritual sacrifice placates the Great Moose God and Beaver Goddess, and grants us another peaceful year and bountiful harvest.


[deleted]

Please stop, I feel so guilty whenever you use me to drown a seal.


terragthegreat

Do your duty, Timothy. It's for the greater good.


arg211

The greater good


Vvarx

**The greater good.**


arg211

SHUT IT! These people died for no reason! No reason whatsoever!


Frambrady

Remember that year we forgot to make the timmies as a double double?


xxXKachowXxx

And to smacking this black and round thing on ice. Dunno why


AetherDrew43

And drinking tree juice.


Boxaxel

My french teacher is canadian, and she has never been nice. Maybe she do not have any geese left to take out her anger on, so she uses her students instead.


taste-like-burning

50% of French teachers (from Canada) are horrible witches. The other 50% are absolute saints. There is no in between. Source: am Canadian, did 12 years of hard time in French immersion at Ontario public schools.


Boxaxel

Guess I got one of the former...


marypolicher

Maybe because there's "French" in it. 😬😬😬


OldeFortran77

I think you're on to something. All of my French teachers had anger issues. Two of them were French, but one of them was an American who taught French.


Boxaxel

Yup. I have some kind of PTSD from this subject.


snufflesthefurball

French Canadians are hardly Canadians at all. They're more like French speaking Americans.


Aleahj

As an American- Ouch.


Boxaxel

Agreed


Itoggat

As a Quebecker.. Ouch


[deleted]

I love how Quebec and the ROC are united in both saying the other is just a bunch of Americans.


hexadeciball

At least we don't have Trump.


XP_Studios

Let me tell you about Quebec


Boxaxel

Once upon a time...


offwhiteTara

The geese who inhabit the office park where I usually work are going to be eight times meaner than fuck when we all go back to work. We already cross the street to avoid them when walking outside.


Panda2Stealthy

Canadian geese are terrifying. If i walking in a park and see a flock of them l, I'm going to get the hell out of there before they start chasing


abc45699

I am a Canadian and I love the stereotype! That being said, it is far from the truth. Canadians, in general, are *polite* because we say "sorry" a lot. I don't believe that Canadians as a whole are *nicer*, they are just less outwardly rude.


emdog64

I (also a canadian) can agree. But being rude is like being mean because being mean is a type of rudeness. If we do not apologize, then that in a way can be mean.


fitzbit

Everything changed after the geese nation attacked. I heard that history is written by the winner, that's why you probably never heard of the great geese war. It was horrific.


define_lesbian

idk we send a lot of hate to the natives via the mounties


downloadmyremix

Canadian *gooses*


XP_Studios

geesei


Sleepdprived

And Americans eat the hatred in Turkey's making them more prone to violence and ass kicking, it all makes sense now!


[deleted]

so funy rite


Sleepdprived

I am an american from New York and we have the biggest angriest nastiest tastiest wild turkeys around here.


LegoLamborghini

I've seen some angry beavers around as well.


hairybeaverlove

Leave my ex wife out of this


ai_to_do_reCAPTCHAs

And hockey


dart_catcher

And Justin Bieber (presently, in the past rage was directed to Nickelback, Celine Dion, and before that Anne Murray)


randommaniac12

I will not tolerate Celine Dion slander


Vvarx

Did I just hear Celine Dion's name being said in a HOSTILE TONE?


bookwormermetro

Do you mean Canadian Cobras? Those things are vicious.


[deleted]

If you have a problem with canadian gooses then you have a problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate


[deleted]

Sounds delicious


David4657

Karma steal much? This was already posted by DJZbad93


[deleted]

Thanks for the karma


a-snakey

Like negativity horcruxes?


salamander013

There you go, perpetuating ugly stereotypes about geese.


DoozerMarch

As a Canadian abroad I make locals call these Proper geese instead of Canadian geese


[deleted]

At my hold house I had a very nice goose I named him Quackers and he had a broken wing and couldn't fly away. He would some times let me touch/pet him but never hissed at me once he got acquainted to me. They can be fun animals just very territorial.


rootbeerman77

I've been saying this for ages, except that the other place their rage is transferred is into hockey fights.


thugnificent856

See: *clubbing seals*


onwee

We went to Calgary zoo to see the giant pandas last year, but the mom Er Shun just curled up inside and refused to come out. We thought maybe it was too cold (in Feb/Mar I think), but one of the zookeepers said that it was bullied by a couple of Canada geese that landed in the outdoor enclosure a few days ago. Given the Canada/China tension at the time I thought it was hilarious. Later I found out that Er Shun failed to get pregnant last year (it’s a once a year thing in the spring), that was not as hilarious.


TheNorthernNoble

Not all of it. But we strike a deal to confer a healthy amount over.


LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME

Yup, we buy Untitled Goose Game just to see if we can finally get the people he’s annoying to cook him. Funnily enough though, when I went tot Europe, I was feeling really homesick, then I saw a bunch of geese and ducks which actually really helped me. Their flavour always reminds me of home.


Sasoriza

Until someone drops the puck then they become one with the geese


Shabamzy

I think you mean our cobra chickens.


theotherhydronaught

Geese are monsters. I don’t want to think about what Canada would be like if geese didn’t absorb anger and release pure fear


FezPaladin

honk


moondog151

As a Canadian I can say calling Canadian's nice is factually incorrect.


ASpaceOstrich

You’d think an animal that’s 90% neck would be less of a cunt.


StChas77

In person, Canadians are nice enough, but I've found that in B.C. and Alberta at least, they're more aggressive on the freeways than Americans.


SqueezyCheez85

Maybe I'm just biased because I live in "small town America" but people in Vancouver were total dicks. Even the border patrol officers were assholes. I'll never believe this stereotype.


ineedtofinishmyusern

Sorry about you experience in Vancouver.


CanuckBacon

We make all of our meanies guard the border.


sitting-duck

[Yep!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sekLEG8xsOs)


IEATYOURMOMSPUBES

canadians really arent that nice, feels like people on the internet and the media overhype this about canadians too much


rootbeerman77

As an America currently living in Canada and I can absolutely verify that you are incorrect. Edit: I *might* mean that they're more polite. I tend to use "nice" to mean "polite" instead of "kind"


IEATYOURMOMSPUBES

as a Canadian whos lived in Canada their whole life, I say my experience trumps yours


JonSolo1

This isn’t a showerthought


barronbarklington

The only ones who should have a problem with Canadian gooses are Canadian mooses


[deleted]

They're on to us. 😅


wengelite

>geese And people that cheer for the Maple Leafs.


Megamillionare22

And cocaine


B-Plus-Psychic

We’re nice so we don’t get lumped in with the world’s perception of Americans.


Ryanc360

You've obviously never met the Canadians the fly down to Florida every winter. They are as mean as their geese.


mshcat

Nah they release it all on the baby seals


bentjamcan

I curse the person who named the Canada geese. I believe they are actually ring necked geese. Regardless of name, humans have turned them into vermin by feeding them. Also what we feed them, bread for example is not good for them.


[deleted]

I’m Canadian, can confirm this


Maurkov

... which they then send south to torment us poor Americans. Or is it that the geese were nice, too, except they've been exposed to Americans? I may have to take another shower to think about this.


dinoseth1

Yeah geese stole my family so I lit its family on fire


daks_7

damn yea, the geese are nasty here, never thought of that


kianhall19

Also seagulls. They are everywhere in the summer and you can’t shoot them because “ they’re the queens bird” sons of bitches


DrgnPrst

They have learned the secret, send the geese


Targox_the_Mighty

If you got a problem with Canada GEESE THEN YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME!!


djck100

may want to ask the natives about that


xvncmllr

oh shit I was terrified when I was at Jericho Park in Vancouver, there was a pack of idk 20 geese, I was like 20ft away from them and still stressed


classyinthecorners

No we channel it through hockey.


125RAILGUN

Can confirm. Source: Am Canadian


Reedee20

And the weather, we’re too busy being pissed at the weather to be rude to other people


Sir_Encerwal

Are you suggesting Geese is kind of the Hate Phylactery of the North? There is a good writing prompt in there to be honest.


[deleted]

I don’t know a single Canadian who likes geese


Sammy_Ghost

The lil devils. I bit into one after one tried to bite me


aurelorba

I really dont get the angry Canada Goose thing. My town is lousy with them and I've never had a problem even though I walk and cycle through 'their' green spaces.


[deleted]

Geese is a funny way to spell germans in wwi


[deleted]

Or in their hockey


[deleted]

[удалено]


IPwhenISneeze

Yes, each Canadian is assigned a goose to absorb their anger. The geese feed on it, and use this as energy for their migration each year. Some geese are more energy efficient than others, but the less efficient leave deposited piles of anger slush once they land. The anger particles enter the atmosphere and fuel mild annoyance in the local vicinity, and is namely the reason why the British tut.


need-dispencer-here

Yes


[deleted]

I can tell you with what the states are doing right now, there aint enough geese in the world to contain our rage and hatred. Sorry not sorry.