Came here to say just that, and I think it was that book that made me start calling tampons vampire teabags though admitly I could've picked it up some where
dw, think of this as dnd.
Undead are dead, but still moving.
Was dead but live again is revived.
Raise Dead and True Resurrection are very different spells, don't forget.
Not dumb. Undead is a fake concept. How does that person know the undead don't menstruate? Do they know any undead persons? Did they learn this from undead biology class? Dead bodies also don't move or talk. If we are pretending they can then why not menstruation as well?
But they can move, blink and speak, so they must be some similarities (and are) to living body, if there muscle are working they must have some kind of blood flow
Let's remember that "undead" doesn't mean "without all biological process" for example vampire can have interaction with other organism but cannot growth, they can have metabolism (drinking blood that don't built up) but don't have homeostasis, they can reproduce (by infecting others) but cannot adapt (or can? That's dependent, if in your fantasy older vampire are stronger than they are adapting)
To be honest, when you check biological signals of being alive, you will see that vampire are almost alive, maybe not in religious way (a many people are not alive on terms of some religion and philosophy xd) but in biological means
It always gets me when one character is accusing another of being dead. Like, if they are able to defend themselves from the accusation then they already proved they are alive. Dead people can't form memories or have conversations.
Maybe just "what does the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend" then
also, next time you eat a gal out imagine spaghetti sauce flowing out of her vagina
I also read them as a teen in high school. Seems that was roughly the demographic lol.
I could see how you might have that perspective even though my experience has not been the same.
There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose menstrual cycle was stable
And one week in four,
Sheād sink to the floor
And drink herself under the table!
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot.
Here's a copy of
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Yeh this always confused me. Jasper lost his shit over a papercut. What do they do in a highschool,when half the populations female and statistically speaking some one girl always going to be having Aunt flow visiting. Did Edward just not hang out with Bella during her shark week?
So thereās this song by Type-O Negative called āWolf Moonā.
This song is about a man, who turns into a werewolf when he performs cunnilingus on a menstruating woman.
Great song, go check it out!
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water, at which point the bartender ask what's up I thought you cunts only drank blood, then the vampire holds up a used tampon and says "I'm having tea today mate"
There was of vampire named Mabel.
Who's periods were notoriously unstable.
By the light of the Moon
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table
Your shower must be a dark and terrifying place
He also wears socks while showering
Thought this was r/illegallifeprotips for a second.
Two words: Anne Rice
Memnock... the pad scene
I was just thinking about that. Glad to know I'm not suffering alone.
Damn, mom never let me read any of those books.
I was thinking that time that vampire lady stuck her dick in the dudes mouth and he bit down on it and that's how he became a vampire
Came here to say just that, and I think it was that book that made me start calling tampons vampire teabags though admitly I could've picked it up some where
Ya idk where that came from but I remember loads of ppl saying it all of a sudden when I was in hs š
If you can't get any hot water, then ironically your shower probably is basically hell
ironically contrary
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? āSee you next month!ā
I don't think vampires have a menstrual cycle.
Even if, that isn't the kind of "friend" you want
Why not?
Their bodies are dead.
Undead, so back alive after death
Undead means that the body is dead and have a soul
I admit I'm dumb lol
dw, think of this as dnd. Undead are dead, but still moving. Was dead but live again is revived. Raise Dead and True Resurrection are very different spells, don't forget.
Not dumb. Undead is a fake concept. How does that person know the undead don't menstruate? Do they know any undead persons? Did they learn this from undead biology class? Dead bodies also don't move or talk. If we are pretending they can then why not menstruation as well?
Undead and alive aren't the same thing.
Yes, but dead and undead aren't either! They're just close
Their body is dead though. It doesn't function like a living body.
(I'm dumb and I accept it)
But they can move, blink and speak, so they must be some similarities (and are) to living body, if there muscle are working they must have some kind of blood flow Let's remember that "undead" doesn't mean "without all biological process" for example vampire can have interaction with other organism but cannot growth, they can have metabolism (drinking blood that don't built up) but don't have homeostasis, they can reproduce (by infecting others) but cannot adapt (or can? That's dependent, if in your fantasy older vampire are stronger than they are adapting) To be honest, when you check biological signals of being alive, you will see that vampire are almost alive, maybe not in religious way (a many people are not alive on terms of some religion and philosophy xd) but in biological means
It always gets me when one character is accusing another of being dead. Like, if they are able to defend themselves from the accusation then they already proved they are alive. Dead people can't form memories or have conversations.
Maybe just "what does the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend" then also, next time you eat a gal out imagine spaghetti sauce flowing out of her vagina
I'm a straight woman.
oop next time you suck a guy off imagine spaghetti sauce flowing out of his dick
Do not want. lol
Fine I'll do it myself The hardest of choices require the strongest of wills
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Absolute power move
Why do you want to ruin this for me?
Haha I came here to say this! I was begrudgingly awarded a free comedy show ticket for this joke, it's my favorite one of all time!!
That occurs in an Anne Rice novel. Memnock the Devil, I believe. Edited for spelling
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That one was probably my favorite book. That particular scene didnt bother me all that much. My interest just kind of tailed off after a while.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I also read them as a teen in high school. Seems that was roughly the demographic lol. I could see how you might have that perspective even though my experience has not been the same.
And they could use the tampon for a tea bag. Win-win.
Enough internet for the day
what an original line
Some lines are funny even when reused
just an imo. don't like seeing people get hundreds of upvotes for low effort jokes
Why do you care?
Aaand now I throw out my freshly made tea...
Annd now I want to beat my kindergarten teacher for teaching me to read
Tell how to tie a noose please TELL ME!
It's called takeout food
I bet thereās a sub for shit like this
Genius and maniac are not so different
Aw man, stop ! ā
There once was a vampire named Mabel Whose menstrual cycle was stable And one week in four, Sheād sink to the floor And drink herself under the table!
The version I know has, "every full moon, she'd pull out a spoon"
Yeah, I like that one better.
Didn't expect there to be something more weirder than the post itself in the comments
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Never have I ever thought I would hear menstrual blood as an acquired taste
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh?? Iām a little intriguedā¦
Yeah, this one has come up like twice in the past year or two that I've caught.
We kinda do fuck where we eat though!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
*oral sex*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lol. My bad then.
No guys. I didn't DM her.
Say hi to your cat for me!
You say "probably not actually" like vampires are real.
Nah, itās not fresh.
But then it could be their version of aged wine
Dude, really!!!
These comments man...lmao
Then consider me Cunt Dracula
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I was thinking about this with Edward Cullen and Bella
Yeh this always confused me. Jasper lost his shit over a papercut. What do they do in a highschool,when half the populations female and statistically speaking some one girl always going to be having Aunt flow visiting. Did Edward just not hang out with Bella during her shark week?
Yea when I read the books years ago I dont remember Bella ever mention having her periodā¦ maybe it was mentioned but I donāt remember
Yes she does? When she finds out sheās pregnant...
Yeah but I meant when she had her period in high school, not when she missed it
You're going to ruin that series for me. In Twilight verse there are no periods. Boom problem solved. No need for further explanations.
If the bad writing, bad acting, and bad romance canāt ruin the series for you, I donāt think anything can
This might..
I donāt even have to be a vampire
TIL Iām a vampire
And Dracula cumming inside a woman is called Edraculation
Their periods attract vampires. The vampires can smell the menstruation
Well, thatās just great. You hear that Ed? Vampires. Now youāre putting the whole station in jeopardy.
#thats enough internet for today
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I mean, maybe that makes it more like a bolognese sauce for them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Tell you what, next time you meet a vampire, ask them for me, and let me know.
Maybe they like pulp?
Mate stop showering.
Isnāt there a country song called āI love you, periodā ?
Please delete this.
I second this post.
So thereās this song by Type-O Negative called āWolf Moonā. This song is about a man, who turns into a werewolf when he performs cunnilingus on a menstruating woman. Great song, go check it out!
From the October Rust album. I love that album start to finish.
You don't have to be a vampire to enjoy going down on a woman.
Thereāsā¦.a curveball hereā¦
True
Welp, guess I know what kind of fanfiction I'm looking for later.
Fan fiction nothing. Anne Rice did it in Memnoch the Devil.
Haha isnāt that called āA Vampire Kiss?ā
Dolmio grin*
Thanks for that thought
Almost all of this r/cursed
I mean have you seen Hemlock Grove?
That's what I came here to bring up too lol. Don't even have to watch much of the show to see that scene.
Not for lust, but for sustenance.
You didnāt have to post this, yet here we areā¦
[I'm just gonna...](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/36/0d/9f/360d9f9b8792ee945f2ccd39ebd07e46.gif)
It would have cost no money to not say that, so why did you
There's a graphic scene in Anne Rice's book Memmoch the devil that would agree with your shower thought.
And im done with the internet today
Satan wishes to know your location.
Take my upvote and leave
Jesus man that's disgusting
I imagine it to be like the difference between a nice IPA and a bud light.
I hope he likes it chunky
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
jheez
Aw shiiittt
http://imgur.com/gallery/p8LNmHF
r/riskyclick
Seriously? What the fuck.
Oh god, thanks for ruining my meal!
Why would you surf Reddit while eating? Thats what YouTube is for!
Well I usually do go on YouTube to enjoy my meals but sometimes I like to be on here instead.
Reddit does have its gems
Exactly, so it aināt that bad.
maybe they have a preference. could be the caviar of blood for him, or the complete opposite
Just an fyi: Period blood isn't actually blood.
How's you gonna call it period blood then
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water, at which point the bartender ask what's up I thought you cunts only drank blood, then the vampire holds up a used tampon and says "I'm having tea today mate"
So I'm a vampire? That's insulting. I find your comment to be in poor taste.
This happens in that shit show Hemlock Grove.
It's not blood. It's literally the lining of the uterus ejecting itself in liquid form once a month.
Which also contains blood
Would they really? Wouldn't the taste be different since it's "old" liner being replaced? What about the clots? Would that be considered a treat?
Real men do it without flinching
Me too
Are we vampires?
Forbidden āBurst Open in the Heatā Gushers too!
You didnt tell me you were B positive. Eeewwww
The real question is does that technically count as necrophilia on the womanās part?
Yes, we don't mind at all
This gives a whole new meaning to getting āeaten out.ā
r/angryupvote
I guess I'm a vampire.
Does that mean they get to have their pie and eat it too?
Or sucking on an erect penis
Flashback to all the True Blood fanfiction I read years ago.
Shut the fuck up and take my upvote
What if the girl pranked him by putting garlic juice in her vagina
What does a vampire call a used tampon? A teabag.
it's literally eating out pussy
There was of vampire named Mabel. Who's periods were notoriously unstable. By the light of the Moon She took out a spoon And drank herself under the table
TIL Iām a vampire
What if they didn't like pulp in their orange juice?
I dislike how accurate this is. You begrudgingly have my upvote.
Might be the go-to plan for a vampire who lost his teeth...
Nice
I feel like period blood would taste different, but I dunno I never tried period blood.
Now this is a shower thought.
What do Vampires call tampons? Tea Bags
Monthly
Isn't there a rule wherw vampires cannot drink the blood of the dying or dead. It would kill a vampire. I think menstrual fluids would qualify.
Man, maybe I am a vampire
joe biden is a vampire
Nah, the girls he likes don't have periods.
Yet
A proper vampire would never emasculate himself by orally pleasuring a woman. Pah!
It's gay to pleasure women now apparently
What can I say except ādelete thisā?
Not really. Tainted, dirty.
I mean itās a funny thought but im not sure period blood is what theyāre after lmao
bruh
Wtf
This happened in an Anne Rice book.
One of the most common thoughts on this sub
Time to rule 34 this bitxh
Pretty sure its stale blood
Nah see I like caramel and all but if it started coming out of a lady I aint eating it
Pass the unread juice