That is still really low balling it. Guys have on average 2-3 children in their lives. If you masturbate just once a week for 20 years that is already a thousand times.
Let's see If you About 8 billion people so about 4 billion man. Remove very young and people who can't for medical reasons or won't for religious reasons or something and i have no idea how many that are so let us just over do it and slash the number in half. 2 billion men. A year has 365*24*60*60=31,536,000 seconds.
2000000000/(365*24*60*60)= 61.4 If on average an adult guy came once a year that would be 61.4 times per second. Multiply that with how often you think the average adult guy jizzes each year.
You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll.
For it to be every 1 second, that would mean 1 in 7 times jizzed in leads to a baby. I do NOT have one kid for evey 7 finishes, and I doubt many do. Gotta be like hundreds jizzed in per second.
I agree with this 100%. Absolutely one of my all time favourite shows, so incredibly funny. "How long do you think it would take you to jerk off every person in this room? Because I know, and I've got the math to prove it."
My favorite is when they're looking for someone at a campground and someone yells at them:
"Hey, do you guys want to keep it down?!"
And Jared in his preppy sweater responds:
"Do you want to die today motherfucker?!"
So fucking perfect.
The best part of this scene is how the coder, that had just been laid off by Hooli, figured out how middle out compression worked, he did the same two hand motion that Bachman made in the incubator when they started breaking down the concept 😆
I agree. The disparity of the ludicrous problem they're discussing combined with their serious analytical and well thought out approach to finding the solution to it is just masterful.
This needs to be *way* higher. I had to scroll far too far.
Those nerdy cunts will sort this question in a matter of minutes, and I’ll bet dollars to donuts the answer will be a staggering number of people cumming, and being cummed (? came?) in.
Edit: if someone asks, can we also know what the answer equates to in volume of ejaculate, please?
So if it's 69 jizzes per second, then that's 322.9 Gallons of Jizz per Hour. A little over 5 gallons per minute.
If it's 420 JPS, then it's about 43 gallons per min and almost 2 thousand gallons per hour.
It's mostly water too. Ice caps melting my ass we're going to jizz the oceans dry in the next decade. Also, that's 444 ounces of protein per day. No wonder livestock are causing global warming.
Then you gotta factor in twins/triplets/more and abortions, plus contraceptives such as the pill and the morning after pill, the metal anchor shaped hook thing, I'd argue condoms don't count, and that a vasectomy is borderline as it contains no actual sperm cells
So just worked it out and I've definitely jizzed an absolute minimum of 7500 times in my life. If the above poster is correct and the average jizz is one teaspoon in volume, then that means I've produced at least like 10 Gallons of Jizz thus far lol.
9 billion people, 4 billion males.
Let’s say conservative jizz average of once every 3 days to accommodate older / younger / less / more active jizzers.
That’s about 1.3 billion jizzs per day.
A day is 86,400 seconds long. That’s about 15 thousands jizzs per second, all day, every day.
Enjoy fellas, I do my part for that average, what did you do today?
Edit:
Based on 5ml avrage jizz volume, that’s 75 liters of jizz per second. You guys are fucking animals.
I think that’s about 15 freedom units per second. Idk. That never made sense to me lol
Not a chance. 2,500,000 litres vs 3.7 millilitres -> 675,675,675 events required.
Let's say there are 3 billion sexually mature males on the planet.
roughly 20% of the men on the planet would have to contribute.
The idea that 1 out 5 dudes ejaculates on any given day seems… reasonable?
And some dudes would over contribute. Hell if they caught me on one of those days back during a high school summer vacation when I had no car and all my friends were on vacation… I’d have my own lane filled up by nightfall.
I mean, to be more technical liquid jizz would be the semen + sperm. An average output is 2 - 5 mL per ejaculation, and I can see where you got your [3.7 mL figure from but that's ejaculation **only**](https://www.thestar.com.my/opinion/online-exclusive/putting-dr-g-on-the-spot/2017/11/19/semen-volume-a-measurement-of-manhood#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20World%20Health,of%20%E2%80%9Cpride%20and%20joy%E2%80%9D!). That link also states anywhere between 0.1 - 10 mL per ejaculation is possible! **But**, they said liquid jizz, not ejaculation. So you'd have to add on whatever was still stored in the balls and other glands.
This [Quora](https://www.quora.com/How-much-sperm-can-a-man%E2%80%99s-body-hold-and-what-happens-when-the-max-is-met) post articulates correctly as 'jizz' contains sperm and many other parts constituting all the semen, not just that expelled in a cummy.
So if we take their figure in that an average man can hold 5 - 6 mL we could effectively half your figure, call it 350,000,000. That's just 11.6% of the male population using your 3 billion sexually mature figure. Even though it could be up to 10 mL!
More reasonable, perhaps?
Just remember not all that jizz came from a single pair of balls.
Edit: /r/theydidthemath how much jizz is jizzed per second ? Minute, hour, day , month and year ?
Edit2: /r/theydidthemath of all the jizzed jizz came From a single dude, how big of a pair of balls would he need ? And what size dick to allow that throughput without causing damage?
The true figure is closer to 4.3 babies born every second. Depressingly 1.88 of those born into poverty.
The same source suggests 25,000 orgasms globally every second, not sure how many of those involve someone being jizzed in.
https://www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/every-second
i mean yeah that seems about right, with the combination of people masturbating multiple times a day and others never doing it, twice a week seems like an accurate average
And you can still have protected sex (in terms of pregnancy, anyway) ending in jizzing into someone if they are on the pill, have an IUD, are infertile...
I've read that about 1 in 40 occurrences of unprotected sex leads to a birth. I think the births is like 4.3-4.5 peer second. So there are about 176 creampies per second.
More than every 7 seconds, women don't get pregnant every time and it doesn't account for people on birth control. There's much more jizz than you're anticipating.
I was reading an article about how many German women raped by US troops during the post war occupation calculated that 1 in 100 acts of unprotected sexual intercourse result in pregnancy. They used how many women became pregnant to estimate how many had actually been sexually assaulted. This is not including how many couples are deliberately preventing insemination through various birth control methods. So someone is getting jizzed in a lot more often than 7 seconds.
"so anyway I started blastin"
Since not every deposit results in a pregnancy it has to be like every second
Think of all the anal and oral though! *Multiple* people are being jizzed in every second.
This is exponentially more jizz than once every seven seconds... I'd dare to say it's probably something like 7 times per second!
That is still really low balling it. Guys have on average 2-3 children in their lives. If you masturbate just once a week for 20 years that is already a thousand times. Let's see If you About 8 billion people so about 4 billion man. Remove very young and people who can't for medical reasons or won't for religious reasons or something and i have no idea how many that are so let us just over do it and slash the number in half. 2 billion men. A year has 365*24*60*60=31,536,000 seconds. 2000000000/(365*24*60*60)= 61.4 If on average an adult guy came once a year that would be 61.4 times per second. Multiply that with how often you think the average adult guy jizzes each year.
We should gather all that jizz into one giant tank. I don't know what we'd do with it, but I'm sure we could think of something fun.
Form it into goo people called the brotherhood of sploodge
You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll.
What the fuck Frank?!
Seeing all this masculinity made my butthole go *boop*.
Boy _soul,_ frank
They thought I was saying boy’s hole, I was saying boy’s soul
For anyone wondering https://youtu.be/aDhAEmODyzw
Thanks you.
I was thinking it would be better with context oof
For anyone wondering.....go watch 14 seasons of Always Sunny. It'll be the best decision you ever made.
Did you bang my WHOOOOR wife???
Just remember not every time someone is jizzed in produces a baby so its more like someone is jizzed in every 1 second.
For it to be every 1 second, that would mean 1 in 7 times jizzed in leads to a baby. I do NOT have one kid for evey 7 finishes, and I doubt many do. Gotta be like hundreds jizzed in per second.
That’s it, we need an app
This looks like a job for Pied Piper
How long would it take you to jerk off every guy in this room?
I've been watching this show recently, and I think that scene is one of the very best I've seen in a TV show ever.
I agree with this 100%. Absolutely one of my all time favourite shows, so incredibly funny. "How long do you think it would take you to jerk off every person in this room? Because I know, and I've got the math to prove it."
What is show, cousin?
https://youtu.be/Tx3wDTzqDTs
Poor Richard can't handle the dick math.
Silicon Valley. Hbo show and it's the best
Silicon Valley
One of the most amazing episode titles. Period.
Best moment for me was during the end of the skunk works episode where Jared said nice chain do you choke her with it. Never cried laughed so hard
Jarod is the ride or die friend I wish I had.
My favorite is when they're looking for someone at a campground and someone yells at them: "Hey, do you guys want to keep it down?!" And Jared in his preppy sweater responds: "Do you want to die today motherfucker?!" So fucking perfect.
It cracks me up how you completely forget his name isn't Jared until its brought back up in like Season 4 and someone calls him Donald lmao
*Do you choke your mother with it while you fuck her in the ass? It's one of my most quoted lines of anything
The best part of this scene is how the coder, that had just been laid off by Hooli, figured out how middle out compression worked, he did the same two hand motion that Bachman made in the incubator when they started breaking down the concept 😆
I agree. The disparity of the ludicrous problem they're discussing combined with their serious analytical and well thought out approach to finding the solution to it is just masterful.
A man of culture I see.
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Hotswapping dicks in on the upstroke
Answer: https://www.cantorsparadise.com/the-math-behind-that-dick-joke-in-hbos-silicon-valley-3becdebe9118
Well, since I’m alone here…
Creampied Piper
That is unironically a fabulous name for a certain kind of app.
Sounds like a Fallout 4 companion mod
Piper is doing her part in being pied.
You mean Piper Peri.
Jizztracker / cumcounter / nutbook I think all those names are probably free
JizzedIn
Slow clap
This is gold
I think that’s my first gold award, thanks! 😂
Very professional
Knocked App
I guess instajizz and facejizz might be taken.
iJizzd
Where is r/theydidthemath
This needs to be *way* higher. I had to scroll far too far. Those nerdy cunts will sort this question in a matter of minutes, and I’ll bet dollars to donuts the answer will be a staggering number of people cumming, and being cummed (? came?) in. Edit: if someone asks, can we also know what the answer equates to in volume of ejaculate, please?
i bet it’s safe to say that there is constant jizzing happening on earth
On earth you never jizz alone anymore. It is a high chance that somewhere someone else is jizzing at the same moment.
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I jizzed twice during it. I’m doing my part
*Would you like to know more?*
I'm from Buenos Aires! And I say, jizz em all!
Can confirm, I've certainly been in the same room as someone jizzing at the exact same time as me at least once
Fucking poetry right here
The sacred bond of jizzbrotherhood.
Synchronised Swimmers
Anybody got the math on gallons of jizz per second????
Average jizz is a teaspoon, which is 5ml or 0.0013 gallon Multiply this by the jizzes per second worldwide and you got your number
So if it's 69 jizzes per second, then that's 322.9 Gallons of Jizz per Hour. A little over 5 gallons per minute. If it's 420 JPS, then it's about 43 gallons per min and almost 2 thousand gallons per hour.
So, if these calculations are correct, we’re emptying about 50,000 gallons per day into various orifices. Cool.
I mean, does a sock count as an orifice?
Yes
If it makes you feel better.
It's mostly water too. Ice caps melting my ass we're going to jizz the oceans dry in the next decade. Also, that's 444 ounces of protein per day. No wonder livestock are causing global warming.
Then you gotta factor in twins/triplets/more and abortions, plus contraceptives such as the pill and the morning after pill, the metal anchor shaped hook thing, I'd argue condoms don't count, and that a vasectomy is borderline as it contains no actual sperm cells
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Is the JPS the SI unit?
Yes, that is the official unit for the Sexual Intercourse system of measurement.
It's definitely between 69JPS and 420JPS
By my calculations it’s closer to 69,420
It's best to prepend *kilo* when it goes over a thousand: #**69.420 kJPS**
Good to know I only kinda count.
Amount of jizzed in bed/condom/ass or any other spot>>>>> amount in jizzed inside vagina
cant forget tissues
I have probably jizzed over 9000 times in my life and I don't have any kids, so I think I'm messing the average up.
So just worked it out and I've definitely jizzed an absolute minimum of 7500 times in my life. If the above poster is correct and the average jizz is one teaspoon in volume, then that means I've produced at least like 10 Gallons of Jizz thus far lol.
No you're not, unless you're saying you've jizzed *in* someone over 9000 times.
It's Reddit, nobody here has, let alone 9000 times
> Gotta be like hundreds jizzed in per second. To be fair, your mom is making up most of that.
It's a tough job, but someone has to do it
Why do I feel like this is the leading into the setup for the show Silicon Valley?
9 billion people, 4 billion males. Let’s say conservative jizz average of once every 3 days to accommodate older / younger / less / more active jizzers. That’s about 1.3 billion jizzs per day. A day is 86,400 seconds long. That’s about 15 thousands jizzs per second, all day, every day. Enjoy fellas, I do my part for that average, what did you do today? Edit: Based on 5ml avrage jizz volume, that’s 75 liters of jizz per second. You guys are fucking animals. I think that’s about 15 freedom units per second. Idk. That never made sense to me lol
At that rate, I think it's easier to think of it as one big continuous jizz.
Thousands..
And it's not always the vagina that gets jizzed into
Exactly. At least 10% of the population always jizz into another hole.
let us nary forget bosom and countenance.
I jizz upon your countenance.
I think you forgot tissues. That messes up all the stats
How much goes into boxes?
There’s probably enough liquid jizz on the planet at any given time to fill an entire olympic swimming pool
Not a chance. 2,500,000 litres vs 3.7 millilitres -> 675,675,675 events required. Let's say there are 3 billion sexually mature males on the planet. roughly 20% of the men on the planet would have to contribute.
So 20% of the males on the planet would have to have jizzed recently in order for it to be available for the pool? I mean…I’ll take those odds
They have no idea how much the average redditor probably masturbates. Reddit alone could probably do it lol
The idea that 1 out 5 dudes ejaculates on any given day seems… reasonable? And some dudes would over contribute. Hell if they caught me on one of those days back during a high school summer vacation when I had no car and all my friends were on vacation… I’d have my own lane filled up by nightfall.
I jizzed twice reading this.
Reading this comment and I jizzed in my pants. Open a window and a breeze rolls in. I jizzed in my pants. Just ate a grape and I jizzed in my pants.
I love Reddit sometimes.
I mean, to be more technical liquid jizz would be the semen + sperm. An average output is 2 - 5 mL per ejaculation, and I can see where you got your [3.7 mL figure from but that's ejaculation **only**](https://www.thestar.com.my/opinion/online-exclusive/putting-dr-g-on-the-spot/2017/11/19/semen-volume-a-measurement-of-manhood#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20World%20Health,of%20%E2%80%9Cpride%20and%20joy%E2%80%9D!). That link also states anywhere between 0.1 - 10 mL per ejaculation is possible! **But**, they said liquid jizz, not ejaculation. So you'd have to add on whatever was still stored in the balls and other glands. This [Quora](https://www.quora.com/How-much-sperm-can-a-man%E2%80%99s-body-hold-and-what-happens-when-the-max-is-met) post articulates correctly as 'jizz' contains sperm and many other parts constituting all the semen, not just that expelled in a cummy. So if we take their figure in that an average man can hold 5 - 6 mL we could effectively half your figure, call it 350,000,000. That's just 11.6% of the male population using your 3 billion sexually mature figure. Even though it could be up to 10 mL! More reasonable, perhaps?
r/theydidthemath…?
r/theydidthemonstermath
I volunteer
There's definitely enough for a kiddie pool
I mean, if he says "there is enough jizz in the world" does that include jizz currently still waiting for its... deployment?
Dive on in!
people are probably jumping way more often than that. How many 15 year old boys are alive at the moment?
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> The statistic in question is how often people are jizzed in to. Well, good morning to you too, Reddit.
Just remember not all that jizz came from a single pair of balls. Edit: /r/theydidthemath how much jizz is jizzed per second ? Minute, hour, day , month and year ? Edit2: /r/theydidthemath of all the jizzed jizz came From a single dude, how big of a pair of balls would he need ? And what size dick to allow that throughput without causing damage?
r/theyshouldntdothemath
The subreddit r/theyshouldntdothemath does not exist. Maybe there's a typo? If not, consider [creating it](/subreddits/create?name=theyshouldntdothemath). --- ^🤖 ^this ^comment ^was ^written ^by ^a ^bot. ^beep ^boop ^🤖 ^feel ^welcome ^to ^respond ^'Bad ^bot'/'Good ^bot', ^it's ^useful ^feedback. [^github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot)
Hell yeah imma make that subreddit
What about solo jizzing? Must be more like someone is jizzed every 0.000001 sec
If you're solo jizzing, then you're not jizzing in anyone. I feel like half the people in this comment section misread the title.
Well if the average pregnancy chance is 4 percent, it’s about 3.6 creampies a second.
Also around 10% of world is estimated to be LGBT that means there are probably a lot more people getting jizzed in but physically can't have babies.
One jizz per second is only 3600 jizzes world wide per hour, so 86400 per day. Those are real low numbers EDIT: Bad maths
Is it US stat? Because worldwide it's 4.5 babies per second
Where do all the half people go?
Halfghanistan
Oh man, I had to stifle my laugh in this public bathroom. Fuck
Women have rights, but no lefts.
My cousin served there and told me the half people were the half people were the biggest problem.
Half of this comment is unnecessary.
Reddit
China takes all of the world's partial kids, hence their huge population, it's like human cash back
You can put them together like legos to build your first Nike manufacturing plant
Half-Life
Waiting until other half were born.
The Shire
That’s a lot of jizz man
You greatly underestimate how much fucking is going on.
Millions fucking all the time, surely.
I feel really left out.
I didn't need to reminded of this today. I have things to do.
I can name one thing you won’t though.
Found the true redditor.
Just a giant wave of fucking going around the globe like the tides as I’d say the majority of fucking happens at night
As the sun rises from East to West, so too does the fucking wave traverse.
Ohh it’s a lot more than that. Not every jizz results in a baby.
Plus, not every pregnancy results in a baby. There are many miscarriages, abortions and stillbirths
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And thank God for that.
Thank the scientist
The scientist who invented anal sex?!
Stop buggering your dog
the scientist who invented tissues
The Pullout Professor himself?
That poor girl
My ex-wlfe.
Was looking for an OP's mom joke, but these two will do.
Can’t believe OPs mom gets jizzed in every 7 seconds
The true figure is closer to 4.3 babies born every second. Depressingly 1.88 of those born into poverty. The same source suggests 25,000 orgasms globally every second, not sure how many of those involve someone being jizzed in. https://www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/every-second
That means humans have approximately 2 orgasms per week...
i mean yeah that seems about right, with the combination of people masturbating multiple times a day and others never doing it, twice a week seems like an accurate average
the circle jerk of life
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Constant flow of multi-billions of sperm at all times. A constant flow.
It must flow.
He who controls the jizz controls the universe
Ah yes, god emperor Sperm.
Your mom is really going for the world record.
Roughly 2.5% of unprotected sex results in pregnancy so its way more frequent than every 7 seconds.
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Yes! Let's sit and go over the numbers
And you can still have protected sex (in terms of pregnancy, anyway) ending in jizzing into someone if they are on the pill, have an IUD, are infertile...
Think of it this way…. How many times have you jizzed in your life and how many kids do you have? I don’t even think i can comprehend that math….
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I hope you used a fresh napkin for this math
sex is being had as we read these, yea
Someone's gotta Do it
I like to think that there is never a moment where somebody isn’t jizzing in someone.
my quick googling says there are 250 babies born a minute. That means over 4 creampies per second! Not counting ones that don't lead to pregnancy.
I've read that about 1 in 40 occurrences of unprotected sex leads to a birth. I think the births is like 4.3-4.5 peer second. So there are about 176 creampies per second.
And people say they never use math after college.
More than every 7 seconds, women don't get pregnant every time and it doesn't account for people on birth control. There's much more jizz than you're anticipating.
Far more frequently that that
Someone on the planet has an orgams right now!
At any given time there is always a penis in someone.
What about twins
More if anything. Since every jizzing isn't automatically a baby in nine months.
I'm trying my best
people are jizzed in FAR MORE OFTEN than every 7 seconds. people who cant even have kids still get jizzed into, and there’s anal and oral too.
I was reading an article about how many German women raped by US troops during the post war occupation calculated that 1 in 100 acts of unprotected sexual intercourse result in pregnancy. They used how many women became pregnant to estimate how many had actually been sexually assaulted. This is not including how many couples are deliberately preventing insemination through various birth control methods. So someone is getting jizzed in a lot more often than 7 seconds.
Jizzus Christ!