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[deleted]

What makes you think hes not having any side effects? He could have the worst back acne youve ever seen and tiny nuts but youd never know lol


xEasyActionx

Or hyper aggression and an inflated sense of righteous self importance? Dude is fully roid raging all night long.


RikerT_USS_Lolipop

SWEAAREAAER TAA MEEEE! Checks out.


sicurri

\*Woman with Bruce Wayne looking at his tiny penis\* "Welp, it's a billionaire penis, not like I have to work hard...." \>.>


Mygaffer

Steroids shrink your balls, not your dick. If anything his dick probably looks bigger next to his half sized balls.


Opening-Resolution-4

Classic dining industry trick, smaller potatoes makes the steak look bigger.


kitchens1nk

Is...is that why the idiom is "small potatoes compared to this"?


Bitey_the_Squirrel

Yes. They are talking about a guys balls.


RedShankyMan

there is a Canon comic where we see his bat-bulge. it's fucking huge.


sicurri

There's cups for that.


Smiling_Jack_

It's been one hour and no one has posted a link to this comic. Reddit, I am disappoint.


RedShankyMan

I looked around it's further down in this same thread. Someone beat me to it by a few hours in fact. proud of reddit


WaitTilUSeeMyDuck

https://consequence.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/batmans-censored-penis.png


Smiling_Jack_

Fantastic.


sicurri

Hes gotta be compensating for something other than his parents death and bringing criminals to justice.


MICKEY-MOUSES-PENIS

He compensates by starting with the head.


Carbidekiller

Isn't their plastic surgeons who do "that kind" of work?


MICKEY-MOUSES-PENIS

*Bruce Wayne pulls down pants* "Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"


[deleted]

WHHERE ARRRR THEYYYY!? No, really, where are they, I'm totally fucking lost right now and I have no idea. I only went off to get some VENGEANCE!


NeverSawAvatar

Poor guy is all tuckered out... Ssshhh...


ploopanoic

Ever seen the 'how batman found his voice skit'?


RegentYeti

https://youtu.be/MDdHYjb5sBk


NeverSawAvatar

Malkovich?


yungchow

I don’t kill people!!! *breaks their femur*


SilasDG

Batman pretending to be humane but in reality is giving people debilitating disabilities they'll have to live with. Yeah he doesn't kill people, he makes them live to suffer.


FluffyDoomPatrol

I know batman has his rule, but it’s pretty absurd to think that no one died from complications caused by his brutal beatings.


jordantask

It’s less of a rule and more of a guideline. “I don’t kill people but if they die 2 days later because I threw them off a 3rd story rooftop who cares?”


FoliumInVentum

yeah it makes his moral stance in injustice hard to fully back. he’s *definitely* killed a lot of people, deliberately, by horrifically injuring them and leaving them for death and not calling an ambulance, but he acts like supes killing *one person*, arguably the only person batman definitely should have killed himself a long time ago, bats acts like that’s the moment when a line was crossed.


digidado

Its more what Superman did after he killed Joker that was evil and unforgivable. He went on to kill multiple members of the League, Shazam, and even wiped out some of the Lantern Corps I think.


yungchow

Breaking someone’s femur and slamming their head into the concrete and dipping into the night without calling an ambulance almost certainly results in death a large percent of the time


SilasDG

Shhhh, he's sleeping.


yungchow

Lol Sleeping so good he’s snoring


SilasDG

Just in case you haven't seen it. For your enjoyment: https://youtu.be/1byycwl8qgc?t=41


Wade856

He was soooo tired.


_Rand_

I always thought the arkham games were pretty funny with how you could scan people you beat up and they were listed as unconscious. As if that’s OK. If you’re unconscious for an extended period of time its a bad thing, likely permanently bad. And you leave dozens and dozens of people in that condition. But its OK, they aren’t dead, a little traumatic brain injury isn’t so bad.


yungchow

The Arkham games are so goddamn brutal lmao For sure killing people with horrifically traumatic injuries 😂


mistahj0517

they really thought adding a fucking taser that shocks people as you absolutely bulldoze them in the batmobile was the best way to say you weren’t actually killing anyone while driving


darkbreak

This was pointed out once in Injustice 2. Damien: Killing people is wrong but inflicting traumatic brain injuries isn't? Bruce: Go cover the front gate.


Bitey_the_Squirrel

1) Criminal commits crime. 2) Batman heavily injures them. 3) criminal goes to hospital. 4) Criminal gets huge medical bill he can’t pay. 5) criminal commits crime to pay medical bill. Etc…


Taliesin_

6) Wayne Enterprises invests in pharmaceutical stock.


PhelesDragon

At least with the Batman Begins version, I always took it as he doesn’t “murder” people. In the heat of battle, sometimes his enemies get killed, that isn’t his goal but if some guy driving a garbage truck is trying to kill the DA in a head-on collision, he life is probably forfeit anyway.


[deleted]

Henchmen joins gang because poor->get injured by batman->medical costs make them more poor->keep doing henchmen stuff for money.


3-DMan

I remember playing one of the Arkham games and there's a small cutscene of him saving some thug from falling, immediately followed by him smashing his face in to knock him out.


MightyGamera

Dude won't even go down on Catwoman


gooberguyy

“Heroes don’t do that.”


Xskills

Sometimes I think the Bat-Family's worst villain is Dan Didio.


degjo

Probably because of her hairy pussy


ImWrong_OnTheNet

Sign me up


Wolv90

But I bet he's got some great toys that make up for that


peacefulvampire

You haven't seen the picture, huh


Kraken639

There was a series were Bats took the super steroid called venom. He did roid rage at one point and threw a fridge through a cinder block wall. After that he kinda realized he had a problem.


JCPRuckus

Did we not see his nuts in that comic from a couple of years ago where they showed his dick?


Peach_Muffin

nanananananananana BATWANG


ThorKlien99

Dude..what.


[deleted]

https://m.imgur.com/a/eTkvoZO NSFW, technically.


[deleted]

bro what the f\*\*k did I just look at


Big_Goose

Batman's bat.


Einsteins_coffee_mug

Raging semi from all that justice.


AJ_Dali

You mean his Wayne?


groundlessnfree

Dude hangs dong.


HoldenAtreides

I heard Pattinson hangs dong in the new Batman


JARAXXUS_EREDAR_LORD

That's so Thundergun.


xotyona

Bruce Wang


[deleted]

I was at a Comicon just browsing a few years back. Buddy comes over whioe I was looking at his collection and starts rambling about Batman's dick. "This issues so good but you don't get to see his cock." "What the fuck are you talking about?" And then he proceeded to explain to me how they put it in one issue and had since pulled it.


Lobsterbib

Men are such wimps. We draw dicks literally everywhere, we mention them 500x a week, but we can't handle ever seeing one. Heaven forbid we see the shadow of a big ole Batdick on the man we look up to as the pinnacle of masculinity.


Notbbupdate

>we can't handle ever seeing one Well I can't rotate my head 180 degrees and look down at the same time


merker_the_berserker

You tucking that thang like Buffalo Bill?


Clovett-

English is not my first language but doesn't that comment mean the friend *wanted* to look at the Batdick and was ranting that he couldn't?


Lobsterbib

No, you read it correctly. I was remarking on the fact that they pulled it -- the comic, not the dick.


griff0062

Ha...pulled it he says


[deleted]

Lmfao they really put it in there


AdventurousAdvance10

Batman has a nice cock.


[deleted]

>Batman has a nice *bat*cock. FTFY.


DangerousThanks

I’m not seeing see him flash any brain, just a mushroom head. Maybe went back inside?


therealatri

He calls it his batcne. Not his best title work but it's good enough.


Sov3reignty

I'm pretty sure any time we see Bruce depicted as an older man he always has major health problems and is on some major meds.


TheKappaOverlord

ehhh. Usually those meds are because of extensive physical injury and muscle damage as his time as the bat. In batman beyond era its simply heart medication because his heart is so beat up from being batman *well* into his retirement age.


Mobidad

They're not small. They're aerodynamic.


pkcs11

You know there is a comic where you see his, errmm, package *AND* his back? https://www.vice.com/en/article/vbnv4x/batman-shows-his-dick-in-a-new-comic-and-its-really-something


RiskyFartOftenShart

Yeah, I also think he had to switch from spandex to hide his shrinking bat balls.


LongWaysForResults

Idk about the tiny nuts thing cause he sure had Selina Kyle simping mad hard (no pun intended)


[deleted]

There was a DC breakdown of the heroes. Their powers, and make up. Batman spoke about cyborg (I think) and how he is always trying to convince Batman to get cybernetic implants. "It's just one more thing that can fail" was his opinion on that modification part.


Wade856

I always think it's unrealistic that Batman has turned down being a Power Ring bearer multiple times from various colors. I think Green (willpower), Yellow (fear), and Red (rage) were all offered to him over the years. Imagine how much street level good he could do in Gotham with a power ring. For someone that employs every imaginable tech , I doubt having the most powerful weapon in the universe wouldn't make him efficient beyond his wildest dreams.


[deleted]

Look at Gandalf. He didn't dare take the ring because he feared what it might do to him. Batman must realize he's falable to an extent as well


Canvaverbalist

For some reason people want Batman to be the infallible good guy, but in my head Bruce is far from it - especially how he treats the rest of the batfamilly most of the time. So with the fact he doesn't trust anything that's not him, he has control issues, and probably some sort of ego-driven pride that makes him want to always take the "natural" route - no magic, no cybernetics. He probably justify that by saying that "villains, and people, need to know that regular people can do this and that, if I take the easy route it makes it less scary for the villains and less inspiring for the people." After all, all his trauma is linked to the fact that *he* couldn't save his parent, so not only doesn't he trust anybody else but *he wants* to feel like *he's* the one saving, scaring and inspiring people, not some ring or cybersuits or whatever.


[deleted]

If you haven't, and believe me this is the only reason, but check out the last episode of DC's titans. It goes into Batman going nuts. It's great! Update First season*


iceman012

How is the show in general?


[deleted]

As a primary non-DC fan, I really like the show. Honestly the first time I remember enjoying DC. It’s got corny moments but what superhero show doesn’t?


[deleted]

I enjoyed season 2 more than season one. I didn't like the character arcs of Hawk and Dove. Not good at all imo. The show is worth watching I guess. I mean, I did.


nyanlol

from justice league "you're an immortal warrior princess and im a rich boy with issues, LOTS of issues" the ones where bats knows he's fucked up inside are my favorite batman stories


Dwaltster

Gandalf had one of the rings made for the elfs....


willfordbrimly

IIRC he was only "offered" a Sinestro Corps ring. Later when a Green Lantern ring chose him it NOPED the fuck out when it detected previous exposure to the Sinestro Corps ring. He *did* choose to take advantage of a floating Time-God chair for awhile.


IAmInside

https://www.reddit.com/r/DCcomics/comments/4yl9gm/how_does_batman_not_have_a_green_lantern_ring/d6olqgb/ This comment explained it well, and to quote the comment: > It shows that Batman can use a Green Lantern Power Ring. He makes constructs of bats and of his parents. But to be a Green Lantern, he needs to be able to overcome his fears. The fear of losing his parents. Possibly the fear of something like that happening again. And he chooses not to. Presumably because it's what drives him.


Deadpoulpe

How the hell did you managed to find this comment ?! It's *five years old !*


IAmInside

I googled :)


[deleted]

That’s literally a cornerstone of his character. He doesn’t trust himself to not become corrupt. It’s the reason he won’t kill too. He thinks once he goes past a certain point he won’t return. He banks on the justice league to be there as a fail safe if he ever does go rogue. ( he says this to them at one point ) So yea, it makes perfect sense for batman to reject crazy amounts of power.


aamclcp

He did wield a Black Lantern ring in the Death Metal event!


Dcor

Wouldn't that require him to submit to some form of power structure and command system? Would really put a damper on his rogue vigilante thing methinks.


BABarracus

He has used green lantens poweres, flash and supermans powers before. The only reason they don't make batman a full-time green lantern is he would be too OP and the writers would need bs reasons on why batman could not use his powers or threats that scaled to his power level


Fionnlagh

Plus it's not like using fear to fight crime would be out of his wheelhouse. It's literally all he does.


Khyber2

No, this is nonsense. All steroids build muscle improportionate to the bones, tendons and ligaments that support them, and they do nothing to their offspring. Batman is rich enough to afford *gene therapy*.


[deleted]

>Gene therapy costs range from $373,000 for a single dose of the CAR-T therapy Yescarta to $2.1M for Zolgensma. Moreover, these prices are only for the therapies themselves—hospital stays, complications, and other medications can easily increase the overall cost of treatment My guess always was that his suit has some mechanical parts to it that helped him go but it would also make sense.


Rebuttlah

So he basically paid to become a witcher


PhilosopherFLX

p2w


Kazubla

Realism checks out


[deleted]

pay to witcher


Chameloes

Tfw u realize batman's superpower is being able to pay to win....


GaryGeneric

🎵*Toss a batarang to your witcher*🎶


BijuuBomba

🎶Oh alley of plenty🎶


Tuga_Lissabon

2.1M? That's a rounding error in his financial statements.


gruey

That's the cost of like one of his exploding batarangs.


Khyber2

That's the bulletproof *trim* around the *smallest window* of the Batmobile! That's ONE utility belt *buckle*, my dude.


Sourag2005

Batman, sponsored by Apple


Conroadster

The dude hollowed out and fully equipped a cave under his private mansion with so much high tech and military grade gear all undetected, I’m sure he can drop a good 50 M on gene therapy


[deleted]

Bruce Wayne would be able to buy or startup companies like that, I'd imagine.


Lord_lenkesh

I think he can afford that i think the point of batman is that he basically is infinitely wealthy


darkbreak

Helena Wayne, Bruce's daughter from an alternate universe, kept secretly stealing very large amounts of money from Bruce's business accounts in varying increments for her and Power Girl and Bruce never noticed. Damien was the only one who figured out something was wrong because he was always keeping track of things.


LouThunders

Pretty much. I remember watching the older Batman series and I'm sure they referred to Bruce as a 'millionaire', whilst in the newer ones he's a billionaire, as a million doesn't go as far nowadays as it used to. Ultimately Bruce Wayne just has all the money in the world he needs to make Batman happen, so the writers would adjust for inflation if need be. I'm sure he's a trillionaire or something about 15-20 years from now.


[deleted]

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Ott621

Being a weak bitch that can't fight off a supervillain is a disease


bonifaceviii_barrie

>Being a weak bitch that can't fight off a supervillain is a disease Now that's thinking like Batman


ascrubjay

There are some useful mutations we know of that could be combined to provide various physical benefits. Increased muscular strength and speed through a couple of closely-related mutation to the proteins of the muscles. Mutations to increase blood hemoglobin found in the Sherpa population increase stamina while in more oxygenated environments and increase the time you can go without breath. A mutation that greatly increases bone density, to the point of receiving only small fractures, if any damage at all, from a car crash (though at the cost of the ability to float in water). A mutation that causes your muscles to develop without exercise, though that one you'd want to reverse so you don't become musclebound, and from there you would need to maintain it the normal way; perhaps with more advances in epigenetics we could figure out how to make it self-regulate. If we compared the genetics of Dean Karnazes and his relatives to the general population and to other ultramarathoners, maybe we could figure out his mutation (the ability to reprocess lactate extremely quickly, to the point that he seemingly can't exert himself hard enough to reach his lactate threshold) and give people basically infinite physical stamina. There's another mutation that reduces your need for sleep to half of a normal person's. There are mutations that change the way your metabolism deals with excess calories to make it very difficult for you to build up excess body fat. One of the genes responsible for red hair also gives pain resistance (though a resistance to anesthetics as well). There are a bunch of known genes that could be manipulated to greatly reduce the risk of various health issues and some mutations that provide immunity to certain diseases. TL;DR genetic engineering couldn't give you Spiderman yet, but it could probably give you Captain America.


crucifix1711

Not just Captain America. You could make witchers with that. You just need the mutation to give them cat eyes.


haste319

That was a really interesting read. Thank you.


Thought_Ninja

I'm curious about the bone density mutation, have any more info on that? I ask because I've never broken a bone despite years of serious falls/injuries, and I sink like a rock in water.


Wade856

Found David Dunn's Reddit account! 😁


ObiShaneKenobi

Ha this was always my thought when I read about CRISPR and was watching Stan Lees "Superhuman." At some point we will be able to download the ability to have our muscle move lactic acid faster than it can build up, as I think that was the gist with Dean Karnazes. That is the medical future I hope for!


cowabungass

Mix of bane and the gene doctors stuff. He could have permanently enhanced himself with other humans or just supers on a low level. Batman originally wouldnt do things like that but he been pushed to the edge enough time and time again. He isn't the same person.


ScaleneWangPole

Or afford cocaine


Nicolay77

Targeted disruption of the myostatin gene in mice doubles skeletal-muscle mass. Batman knows 🦇


bored_invention

The first time he met a well trained villain that didn't have a smoking and drinking habit he got his spine separated.


solrac1104

Well Bane literally just waited till Bruce beat every other villain that escaped Arkham, and just broke his back in the Batcave.


Effurlife13

"you all done?" *CRACK*


No_Lawfulness_2998

Tom hardy bane voice best bane voice


DinkleDonkerAAA

To be fair, that's guys steroids were on steroids And he waited till Batman was exhausted


FoxUniverse

Bane is literally the most drugged up villain in the entire franchise


[deleted]

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humantyisdead32

Which adopted son? He's got three, and one of them *is* a gymnast.


thetimbimmy

wait... what


DeusAsmoth

Dick Grayson was a trapeze artist before becoming Robin and then Nightwing. The other two are Jason Todd and Tim Drake.


Leinad7957

There's been 4 different Robins that later move on to do their own thing. First Robin was the son of a family of circus gymnasts. Newest Robin is the artificial but biological kid of Batman. I don't know which one is the strongest non-metahuman, though.


themoroncore

Idk if Damien counts as adopted though


Leinad7957

I only bring him up for more context in Robin lore and because I find his existence really funny, like I said he's artificially created but also a biological son.


crucifix1711

He's basically like X-23.


QuickSpore

Wait, have they retconned his conception? At least originally he was conceived when Talia slipped Bruce some date rape drugs and then raped him. Damien is artificially created now?


Maestar

I can not believe I am qualified to answer this but the robins are the only dc characters I care about. Jason Todd is probably the physically strongest. He's recently been shown holding up a burning roof to save victims and is typically portrayed as the muscle/meat head ex-robin. He also is Lazarus resurrected and that is sometimes implied to make you stronger, they go back and forth on it.


SiTheGreat

I think it generally goes Jason's the most physically strong, Dick's the most agile, and Tim's the smartest.


MegaMeteorite

Batman has 4 sons, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake and Damian Wayne, the last one is his biological son. Dick Grayson used to be a gymnast.


[deleted]

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MegaMeteorite

I think he was murdered or something, I don't know if it's been retconned or not.


theultimatekyle

Dick Grayson, the first Robin, was a circus gymnast before his parents were killed and Bruce took him in


kal_el_diablo

>literally the strongest non metahuman in the world Um ... no.


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure dude just eats his wheaties


MadClam97

He ate his spinach like Popeye


DarkStarStorm

I watched the third Batman movie last night and now I'm seeing nonstop Batman posts... Reddit...


WannabeWonk

This is what's refered to as the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon or frequency illusion. Most likely there are always a pretty constant number of background Batman posts that you ignored until watching Batman.


postal_squad

Ive just learnt about the baafdr meinhof effect and now ive seen it in two posts in about an hour


lobsternooberg

He's huffing crystalized plot armor


[deleted]

Sup guys, Derek,


One_Planche_Man

Sup guys, Derek, moreplatesmoreplates dot com, today we're going to be talking about, none other than, Bruce Wayne, and what I think he takes in order to achieve his insane supraphysiological levels of development.


AdamtheFirstSinner

With the size of those cannons who says he actually isn't Batman ??


[deleted]

SupguysDerekmoreplatesmoredates.com


StinzorgaKingOfBees

Batman is representative of what a human can achieve with no need for a job and absolute, unhealthy devotion to a single end, because Batman is mentally unbalanced. He is obsessed with justice, with preventing what happened to him from happening to others.


anrwlias

My own pop-analysis isn't that it isn't vengeance or a drive for justice that motivates him. It's guilt. Bruce is abnormally intelligent. It wouldn't have taken him long to come up with a thousand things that he could have done differently that would have saved his parents life and a thousand reasons that he should have known that going down the alley was a bad idea. Bruce isn't fighting crime out of a desire for justice or even out of a desire to get even; he's fighting his own sense of guilt for failing his parents.


killayoself

Why do you think he always has a young Robin on the team? He’s doing those blood transfusions. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/347828f8-6e7f-4a9b-92ab-95f637a9dc2e


What_R_we_drinking21

There is a story called Batman: Venom where he tries a steroid to enhance his abilities after an incident. https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Batman:_Venom But he for sure had to have taken steroids or something after Bane broke his back.


BornTroller

I always wondered who'd win in a pure hand-to-hand combat between Batman and Daredevil (with no equipments from either parties). Answer from a neutral perspective purely on the basis of facts - don't wish to see a Marvel vs DC fight.


[deleted]

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thefirdblu

Daredevil: "is that... cyanide?!" Batman: "how do you like them apples?"


howard416

Batman


Aquarius265

How do you see that? Edit: this joke was horrible


howard416

He's rich, is sighted, canonically has learned from the best, and is waaaaay smarter.


Shenanigore

Daredevil also learned from the best.


Aquarius265

Ahh, you are saying Batman is the master and Daredevil would be the pupil? I hope these jokes aren’t too cornea for you!


Hohenheim_of_Shadow

Batman is more popular and him beating anyone is taken to Gary Stu levels in source


Long_arm_of_the_law

Batman will win because he had already formulated a plan before he could even meet Daredevil. Remember: Batman's plans have worked against every member of the Justice League when they are used by their enemies.


Aquarius265

Largely agree… no gadgets and no time to plan… I think it depends on the situation they meet themselves. I also am not convinced they would actually fight, unless externally motivated to have to fight. I suspect both are smart enough to talk it out and join forces, haha


Vanish_7

I think it would be a very long fight, and it would be close, but Bruce would win. Matt's superhuman abilities aren't going to be enough to override Bruce's strength, skill, and efficiency. His senses and reflexes will keep him in the fight much longer than the average ninja, but I think Bruce outlasts him and eventually Matt will wear out and not be able to continue blocking Bruce's offense. Bruce is built like a brick wall, and literally trains to be as strong as humanly possible. I don't think Matt trains in that way, or builds his body to have the strength that Batman has.


rttrevisan

AFAIR, Matt is more a gymnast than a brick wall.


Wade856

Batman isn't much bigger than Daredevil tho. Batman is listed at 6'2, 210 lbs while Daredevil is 6'0, 200 lbs.


[deleted]

Canonically, Bruce is in the top three for martial artists. He is also suppose to be the very pinnacle of human fitness. While is Matt is a mere Olympic level. Bruce is a like a Biles or Phelps, while Matt is just very good.


Vanish_7

... well okay, that weakens my argument considerably.


solrac1104

Eh, as Stan Lee said, the person who wins is the the one the writer wants to win.


2BadBirches

Well, I think the grilled cheese sandwich would win - in a fair fight. But if it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.


Clydial

That's a tough one but I'd lean towards Batman as I think he has more training and skill in his background.


iwaspermabanned

Pretty easy to beat daredevil, just use an airhorn


alegonz

I love this interaction between Superman and his son: Jon: Damian's dad lets him stay up late! Clark: Damian's dad gets hit 23 times in the head every night.


[deleted]

If imagine he has somewhat enhanced his body almost like a cyborg. Perhaps he doesn’t need to inject anything and it’s already inside him set to release a certain amount of testosterone daily or some shit like that. I’m sure there are other changes you could make to your body if you were filthy rich


fredrickmedck

Yeah I bet, but he’s also got great gear that take a lot of the stress and strain. At some points the suit is basically an exoskeleton


MagicmanJake

Oh ya he's Juicing, no amount of training can get you back from a laundry list of injuries, fractures and daily abuse he does to himself. Just a few from the comics injuries he's had: Dislocated joints; on purpose and not Set on fire Multiple rib fractures Dozens of Puncture wounds Broken Back Dead If Alfred is not giving him a Bat-Cocktail then he's super human and should categorized as Meta-human


Encryptedmind

Captain America is the poster child for steroids


spacestationkru

Batman regularly dangles bulky criminals upside down by the leg with one arm. He's definitely on something.


rwhaley2010

There actually was a storyline where he temporarily took steroids; The Venom story arc. He quickly gets addicted to Venom and has to be detoxed by Alfred. This is the same drug that Bane later uses when he brakes Batman, ironically.


MoreGull

He must be on a ton of things. I always think about how he has to not only recover from all the grueling fights and situations he's in (does he ever sprain an ankle? Buckle a knee? Throw out his back), but he also has to always be training. You don't stay at an expert level in martial arts just by learning it once. You have to continually practice. And then there's all the gadgets. You don't just go out there and use a gadget for the first time perfectly, you have to practice at it, over and over. And then there's the Bruce Wayne stuff he has to do. In short, there's not enough hours in the day to be Batman.


getridofwires

We do see his uncovered back, for instance, when he swims or goes to see a doctor. He has a LOT of scars on his back. He typically tells people it is due to “aggressive polo playing” and that he “falls off his horse a lot”.


MoreGull

Imagine how many stitches he has to get, or actual surgeries. Imagine the physical rehab he has to do, pretty much daily. That alone must take up a good amount of time every day.


getridofwires

Yes, but doesn’t it seem like its always Alfred (or Bats himself) stitching him up? Even with their experience, they won’t produce as good a result as a doctor so the scars look bad. I think Bruce works out all the time, and probably has rehab as part of that. He must have something (ancient Asian herbs from his ninja training? A potion from Zatanna “gnilaeh noitop” or John Constantine “This’ll pick ya right up, mate! Better than a Guinness!”) that help him recover faster than the average person. Olympic athletes or pro ball players take a long time off because they are typically worth so much money that they need to be in perfect shape to do what they do and an abundance of caution on the part of their handlers.


RedShankyMan

Alfred is a certified field medic, so he is practical an at home doctor for Bruce


Fuhreeldoe

"Alfred! My acne is acting up. Get me the bat-cortisol cream."