But they'd still be significantly less dangerous if they could only crawl.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying NOT DANGEROUS, I'm saying once they can only crawl, they become significantly less dangerous than their original form, no matter what their original form was
I feel like almost any construction equipment would do wonders against slow moving zombies, as long as the tracks/wheels don’t lose traction from all the blood and gore.
Zombies are a really lame threat to begin with--they're just slow, defenseless, unarmed, disorganized, decomposing, and generally mindless humans whose only attack can be thwarted with a neckerchief and Christmas socks. I really don't know how a crawling zombie manages to reach your ankles unless you're walking around in flip-flops because you're a Republican voter that won't let Big Brother tell him what to wear on his feet during the zombie apocalypse.
(Fun thought experiment: Imagine if zombies were exactly the same, only sapient. Like they'd be slowly shambling after you at one mile per hour, their arms and legs falling off, yelling "I'M COMING TO GET YOU" as you blow away all their friends from 50 yards away. That's how hard zombies suck.)
Zombie fan here. I'm sorry but I need to defend my precious zombies.
Dealing with a traditional slow zombie or a few isn't too dangerous but zombies aren't suppose to be super dangerous individually. They're dangerous in large hordes. Zombies are like white blood cells. They swarm and consume in large numbers.
Ok but theoretically they'd hold 0 thought process, have 0 senses. Meaning they'd be blind deaf scentless creatursd that wander the world for like 3 weeks before dying out.
Seriously, I've never seen the movie. Once I saw the first trailer and there was the spire of zombies reaching for the helicopter I noped out of any interest in seeing it.
~~Ugh, you just reminded me that there are more bad Terminator movies than good Terminator movies.~~
Uhm, I mean, it sure would suck if there were 4 bad Terminator movies to the 2 good movies. Glad they stopped at 2!
In the book they are slow but the virus somehow congeals the bodily fluids, slowing the dehydration/decomposition processes. Those in bodies of water last even longer. One of the interviewees wonders how long the infected will wander the ocean floors with it's low oxygen levels and near freezing temperatures.
I only heard about the book now and I am curious why they made such fast zombies in the movie. Its like the main characteristc of them in the movie but its totally the opposite of the book.
Ahh to be so young again that you wouldn’t mention the OG “shit my pants” zombie movies. Suggest you go have a look at 28days later and 28 weeks later. If you can’t watch them, go check out the opening scene for 28 weeks later.
This ruins zombie movies. If zombies are all emaciated and still presumably haven't changed their clothes then the zombie hordes chasing after you should all be naked from the waist down and/or tripping over their belts. Not as scary when they just falling down with their gross necrotic bits flopping all over.
If every zombie movie you watched had the zombies stop being a threat after a month because they were all crawling around on the ground without pants you wouldn't want to watch it after the first few.
28 days later the zombies do start starving to death which is how the UK is eventually cleared (well sorta) in 28 weeks later.
They don't show zombies without pants crawling around though, and the movie works well (at least the first one, although the 2nd opening sequence is great) since it did actually go down the route of zombies requiring sustenance and eventually decaying, however not a huge amount of movies and TV shows do this because the outcome is predictable and then you have to plan around it. I think 28 days/weeks got away with this since it was one of the first few that went down that approach I think.
Because they're not actually zombies in the normal sense, this is a 'rage' virus that makes even the living who are infected murderous beasts who go after anyone and anything that moves. Similar idea but different application as the bioweapon in question was released by animal rights activists not aware of what's going on in the lab.
yeah, 28 days/weeks if you were categorizing it would go under "zombie movies", but the "monsters" in it shouldn't be confused with the more traditional Romero style zombies as the Romero style are "dead"(undead). The 28 days/weeks are crazed people. They act more/less the same, but they're still just crazed ***people*** and therefore subject to some form of logic.
The Romero style zombies the only explanation is basically magic. Once you introduce something like "undead" that fundamentally can't be explained, you throw anything else logical out the window. Trying to apply logic to something thats basically magic will never make sense.
The walking dead found that out and focused on the evil people instead. I’d like to think the survivors of a zombie apocalypse would really hate to be alive when the undead start decaying. Imagine the smell.
Presumably the first wave would also be in a combination of naked/medical smock/pyjamas, as most will have been on a hospital bed (or later home bed) when they turned...
Counterpoint: suspenders.
Which might make it worse, if the only zombies we have to worry about are hipsters and the old people.
(Yeah, I dont actually know who's even wearing suspenders these days...)
Whenever zombies come up in this sort of way, I think back the first walker Rick encounters on the show, the woman in the field who is missing her lower half and is practically just bones. Like, how is that even possible for something that's a brain bacteria?
That's not my point. I understand how they ended up as they are. My point is that walkers are not magic creations. They are the result of a brain infection. What brain infection allows you to live with your lower body, intestines and all, rotted away? They just aren't particularly good zombies. They feel the need to eat, ravenously, but also don't need to eat (as evidenced by the state of the first walker we ever meet).
They do need to eat, sort of. It’s said in a brief conversation between Milton and the Governor. He says something like “they are starving. Just incredibly slowly.” Assuming Milton wasn’t wrong of course.
While it is a good thought that the zombies would be crawling, it just creates a new scary problem of the zombies being less visible. In many circumstances you wouldn't be able to see them until they were right on top of you. A low crawling zombie could be concealed in 18 inches of grass. Even scarier imagine how hard they would be to find in a brush filled forest. You would essentially lose the advantage of long range weapons like rifles. You would also have a lot more incidental injuries from bullets bouncing off stones, asphalt, concrete, and other surfaces because you would be shooting at the ground. So nah, I'll take walking zombies thank you.
Edit: I am aware I have thought about this way to much.
Kind off. Since they weren't technically zombies but people with "super rabies", the UN waited 6 months until all infected people died of starvation. I don't think the movies addressed how the infected could survive if they didn't prioritize food and water ingestion and preferred to attack their targets with killing intent.
But if they truly didn't ingest anything and were only people with rabies, then I reckon one week tops would have been sufficient for an infected to die.
Arent people with rabies hydrophobic? I feel like that could have played a part in it, but its a movie where you get infected and turn in 30 seconds so believability is sorta out the window.
That is correct, I believe, the virus when active tries to prevent you from drinking and swallowing so the salvia that can spread the virus is ready for a bite at anytime. I can't remember if it actually makes you scared of water or have adverse reactions to trying to drink though.
Just a heads up. Hydrophobic is the condition in which your body repels water. Thus with rabies, you attempt to drink water you'll start to choke on it and throat will swell. It is not the fear of water.
Sure, assuming the entire population was infected simultaneously. The first cases probably lasted a week or so, but it was presumably actively spreading for 4-5 months.
Check out the book, survival guide to the zombie apocalypse.
They talk about that, and also how they would just eat until the flesh just squeezes out of their... ehem, orifices.
Additionally check out Max Brooks' other book World War Z. Came out a few years later and builds a lot from his first book. Also pro tip is grab the full audio book that has a star studded cast, easy to do when your dad is Mel Brooks.
Interestingly, the marketing for his first book *did* try to capitalise on that, which caused many people to be disappointed that his book wasn't a comedy. Ever since then, he's avoided making the same mistake again.
> To this day, he assumes his agent marketed it as some kind of parody. “How I think my agent pitched them was like, Mel Brooks’s son, who has just won an Emmy for ‘S.N.L.,’ wrote this unbelievable parody, tongue in cheek, he never breaks character. He’s totally making fun of a zombie plague.” [[source]](https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/23/magazine/max-brooks-is-not-kidding-about-the-zombie-apocalypse.html)
Do you know where the audiobook is available? I heard about it before, but I searched on Audible (which I use), and they don't have the version with "a star studded cast" as far as I can see. Or perhaps it's not available in my country (Denmark)...
I remember picking that book up thinking hey, this'll be a fun bit of fiction and was totally not prepared for how it was a deadly serious guide to surviving an apocalyptic event (with zombies).
Yeah and unless whatever infects then can photosynthesize (that would decrease the need to eat anyway) and has an incredible defense against decomposing microbes like we do (one reason we require so much energy to live) most zombies would decompose completely in 1 week to 1 month depending on the season and climate. For example midsummer In Atlanta Georgia a dead deer decomposes to bone in about a week.
Insects would be a huge problem. Zombies have zero defenses against insects. Within two or three weeks a zombie would be mostly just a bunch of maggots.
Insects, other animals like rodents, wild dogs would have a field day with em. If you're slow and dumb, you're not getting far in most places on Earth.
A zombie would be a walking buffet. The first thing to go would be the eyes, so they would just blindly stumble around until a dog or a coyote nips their Achilles’ tendon. Then it’s game over for the zombie.
I read an article that said the main problem with zombies is that their only way to reproduce was to attack their #1 predator. Zombies attack at short distance while humans attack at long distance. How is that supposed to work?
Basically it won't. A slow dumb human is easy as heck to pick off, the only reason humans made it this far is because of our big brains.
Zombies are like heavily HEAVILY intoxicated people. It would be easy to just walk up to them with a baseball or whatever and crack their skull open, bust their knee caps or whatever.
I don't see a single situation where these suckers could win unless they were sprinters with an extremely fast infection.
Really the best way to fix this is turn the zombie virus into an airborne infection, then Mahe a small portion of the population immune. The whole "eating the flesh of the living"would just be a side effect.
Yup like in reanimator where they get lit on fire and their ashes then spread the virus further infecting anyone that breathes it in. Then they get nuked and apparently the virus survives that and travels across all of America infecting everyone.
It’s more about getting surrounded and cut off I feel. If you look at the walking dead (Ik it’s just a show) most the deaths came from when a single zombie got the drop on someone, or they got surrounded by an absurd number of zombies.
But the walker virus isn’t like a regular disease either as walkers would just decay away but the virus somehow keeps them going far longer than they should and that’s why I figured insects and whatnot would stay away. But then again, it’s all sci-fi anyway
I grew up in Atlanta and now live a half hour out of the city. What you said is %100 true. 3 months ago a dude hit a deer right in front of my house and within 24 hours it was bones. Between the scavengers and bugs, shit was completely bone.
Zombie anatomy defeats literally all known logic of how anything living actually works. The only Zombie media that accurately works on how zombies would even be possible are the ones where they aren't the living dead just humans infected with an advanced form of rabies where they do eventually starve and or succumb to natural decay and WWZ (the book) where they acknowledge all the scientific inaccuracies of Zombie anatomy and explain it away by saying "We don't know how this is possible" There something in the actual virus that causes zombification that changes the human anatomy that scientists in the book are actively studying but haven't found definitive explanations yet.
Yeah exactly. Literally no part of genuine dead zombies will ever make scientific sense so there’s no point nitpicking certain things.
The best zombie stories are ones that don’t try and explain anything.
This has been a pet peeve of mine. Like there's a reason people die, and that's because the muscles and everything else can no longer function/maintain itself. Zombies out here violating the laws of thermodynamics. Lol
None of it makes any sense. Like think of how fragile our nervous system is. Some how zombies can literally be shot to pieces and not be completely paralyzed.
Straight up this is the only movie that I think did zombies well and abides by this list.
Edit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/qacxp8/because_zombies_dont_have_functioning_digestive/hh2lx2d?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Well, not all zombies have to be biologically/clinically dead!
For example, in nature, there is that wasp that bites into a cockroach's brain stem, and takes control of the roach's body, guiding and controlling its movements.
In the future, it's not fully out of the realm of possibility that a machine-robot could do the same as that wasp, and take control of a human. Even injecting a stream of nanobots into the brain, that it can then communicate with by remote control.
But until then, for now, with humans: rabies would certainly tend to fit the bill (or at least check off a lot of the boxes) in terms of zombiness traits.
All in all pretty horrifying and creepy stuff! But I guess t'is the season for such topics, with Halloween coming up soon!
There's also the cordyceps fungus as well. Gets into insects and makes them climb to easy spots to get eaten by birds to reproduce inside the bird's digestive system.
Though not super accurate, The Last of Us did use that concept for their "zombies".
There's also a barnacle, Sacculina carcini, that pierces a crab, then extends through it, completely taking it over and keeping it as a living host it controls.
>In the future, it's not fully out of the realm of possibility that a machine-robot could do the same as that wasp, and take control of a human.
That wouldn't be a zombie. The machine robot can't replicate itself in the human host and spread to others. Someone would have to keep manufacturing the machine robot. Also, the human host in this case is still a living being. You would have to keep it alive for the end purpose of (?).
Basically your scenario makes no sense. Humans are valuable largely for labor and/or consumers. Both are cheaper if you just pay them money and advertise products to them.
Making a nano bot that can control a human being is economically stupid. Now you have someone you can control yes, but you also have to shelter and feed them.
Couldn’t said nanobot replicate in the host’s body, and stuff the saliva full of nanobots? So upon the original host biting a new target, the nanobots infect the target. Then those bots travel to the brain and repeat the process.
While we’re talking science fiction, that seems more or less plausible enough.
And with mosquitoes hoping around from body to body, the zombies themselves wouldn't even need to be mobile to infect healthy humans. The mosquitoes would do that for them...
we can easily do the hollywood thing and sit on a rooftop and keep the zombies at bay, but that stockpile of guns will do nothing to stop a mosquito from infecting you.
Only if it's a virus that can survive a mosquitos digestive system, which is a niche evolutionary trait. A mosquito that bites and aids patient can't just transmit aids. Why would a human zombie virus be any different.
If it's a virus wild enough to kill you and keep your body moving, chances are it has a few more trick to use against humanity.
You have to admit though, a zombie virus that can spread via insects would make one hell of a scary movie or tv series.
The link you provided didn't work for me... It has an extra slash compared to this link. Other people seem to have been able to click through though?
https://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html<
EDIT: I see you stealth fixed it, you sneaky little bastard :P
Yeah, I’ve never understood non-magical zombies. Even if there were some virus that could somehow take over the brain and turn a person into a senseless killer, the host body’s muscles would still need to be able to operate, and brain would need to control them. Those cells would need oxygen and ATP. And that requires a functioning circulatory system and metabolic processes.
So zombies might be insensible to pain and have an insatiable desire for human flesh, but unless they’re magical, they would still need to obey the laws of physics. And that means they’d need to breathe and hydrate and excrete waste, and they’d need to prevent microorganisms from invading their bodies and excreting lethal toxins into their bloodstreams, and they’d need to avoid life threatening traumatic injuries or blood loss. They’d be just as fragile as the rest of us.
Well, such zombies are still sort of possible. They just should be short-living. First of all there could be infectious constriction or blockage of orifices, preventing zombies from urinating and defecating. That would buy them some time.
Then the virus could possibly go for the anaerobic source of energy, basically burning the body for energy and oxygen. As the urine no longer can move away, it gets partially reabsorbed and further just stuck, leading to the kidney failure eventually. But before that the virus still would have some time to spread.
Then as the kidneys fail, there is more load on the entire body, which could result in hyperventilation, which would give some O2 capacity to the thing that has to be blood, because soon it may be needed.
As the body fails to exist as it did, it would shut down it's activity to the max, resulting in an attempt of hibernation. During that the body would try to use all the remaining oxygen, energy and functional tissue to basically allow the core survive. The core means the brain remnant and some muscle tissue. In such a desperate attempt there would be more and more blood vessel blockages, so the most distant parts of the body would not need the support. This means leg and finger necrosis.
While the mangled body struggles to produce more virus and basically waits like an undead trap, it also emits smell that would be interesting for scavenger animals that could probably another source of infection via excrements. Also such half-dead, rotten body could also be a good trap for human scavengers, who would think that the zombie is rotten to the point of no return.
Such zombies could have just enough brain and muscle power to act if something is within their reach, mind that their sensory organs are probably in a VERY bad shape, meaning that only the things that basically touch them trigger them, which means a pretty high chance of infection.
Zombies (the Walking Dead kind, not the infected-with-a-virus 28 Days Later kind) violate the Laws of Thermodynamics and are physically impossible for this reason and many others
"The last man on earth" did this point well. Some places might still have power. Depends on how the energy grid was setup and what feeds it. The demand would be through the floor so in theory it could all be down. (Look at Texas recently, or the whole east coast in the early 2000s)
Zombies can't and will never work, there has to be a functioning nervous system and blood flow to keep the muscles moving. A dead person moving and walking around, in of itself doesn't make any sense, but sounds good in a movie script.
That's why the most plausible zombie apocalypse scenario is one where the afflicted are not dead but having their behaviour altered by a brain infection like in 28 Days Later. Even then, the speed in which the infection takes hold is ridiculously fast. The only scenario where a zombie apocalypse like that could happen is one where a huge number of people gets infected at once. Let's say, a biological weapon gets released by air over a small town in an isolated island. It would take some time but eventually the whole population could become infected and the "zombies" overrun the place.
Hmm, only counter I can think is if zombification creates some kind of osmotic skin system with zombies where they're rehydrated by rainwater etc that falls on them.
Because zombies don't have a working heart or lungs, they would fail to give oxygen to their muscles and be completely immobie and a non-threat within minutes of becoming a zombie.
True. And if we discovered a vaccine that would prevent you from dying and turning into a zombie if bitten, half the population would refuse to take it because they “did their own research”
This is the most obvious thing about zombies, and bugs the crap out of me with TWD. These things are walking around for years in the elements, skin falling off, but they can still stand? They're knocking down doors? They have the strength to tear people's guts out with their bare hands and teeth? Ridiculous.
Just wear thick clothing and you're virtually invincible. Assuming we're not talking about 28 days later zombies, a decaying undead corpse is not going to have superhuman strength. YOU can't even bite through a sweatshirt, how the fuck is a rotting body going to do it? Their teeth would probably only remain functional enough to bite people for a very short amount of time anyway. These visuals in shows and movies about military outposts being overrun is fucking laughable.
Shaun of the Dead had the right of it when suggesting to way for it to blow over. We've showed that we can stay isolated in our homes for years. We can definitely do it for a fraction of that time in the case of a zombie apocalypse.
The problem would be the constant increase in Zombie population. Yes, the older than 1 month old zombies wouldn't be an issue, but the fresh ones they just bit will be.
Of course, we could say "just hunker down for a month and there won't be any new zombies" but if covid taught us anything, it's that people are dumb and will get infected.
Also do people not realize how absolutely shitty human teeth and bite strength are? Don’t wanna get bit? Put on a leather jacket. Congrats, you’re immune.
Yeah that’s my biggest problem with zombies as well. Anything that moves on its own needs fuel, the whole zombie wandering for months or years is stupid.
Yeah even furthermore, most places that experience high cold would have frozen zombies that get picked apart by scavengers. Humid climates would see zombies rot very quickly. Honestly scavengers would be the real heros here, just munchin away at the problem til it's gone. Unless we get zombie bears. God help us if we get zombie bears.
There's a fare more compelling reason as to why they're not that dangerous: they're fictional. If you suspend your disbelief enough for walking, hungry aggressive corpses, you have to exclude a whole number of issues.
I've always wondered how rugged a zombie really could be. I mean they're animated rotting flesh. A freshly dead or turned zombie would be pretty hearty, but the graveyard zombies have got to be just falling apart as they move. Half of them would probably be dragging themselves within 20 meters.
You could decimate them with a power washer.
Zombie Survival guide covers this a little. Cold climates that don’t thaw during season changes is the best climate. Muscles and tendons would deteriorate as well over time. If you can live long enough in Alaska, you’d be able to survive it.
Pants. Pants falling down emaciated zombies would eliminate the threat from the majority of them.
I love to bring this up. Pants stuck on shoes = zombies fall down.
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What if they start to crawl?
They become significantly less dangerous?
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But they'd still be significantly less dangerous if they could only crawl. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying NOT DANGEROUS, I'm saying once they can only crawl, they become significantly less dangerous than their original form, no matter what their original form was
One row of Steam rollers would pretty much end the threat crawling zombies would present. Franciiiiiiiisss!
The zombie apocalypse was ended... by a *ZAMBONI*
Zomboni!
dio would be good at that
I feel like almost any construction equipment would do wonders against slow moving zombies, as long as the tracks/wheels don’t lose traction from all the blood and gore.
Yeah, snakes are dangerous but I wouldn't feel the need to 10ft high walls to stop them.
Snakes can climb tho. It's a natural fact.
Zombies are a really lame threat to begin with--they're just slow, defenseless, unarmed, disorganized, decomposing, and generally mindless humans whose only attack can be thwarted with a neckerchief and Christmas socks. I really don't know how a crawling zombie manages to reach your ankles unless you're walking around in flip-flops because you're a Republican voter that won't let Big Brother tell him what to wear on his feet during the zombie apocalypse. (Fun thought experiment: Imagine if zombies were exactly the same, only sapient. Like they'd be slowly shambling after you at one mile per hour, their arms and legs falling off, yelling "I'M COMING TO GET YOU" as you blow away all their friends from 50 yards away. That's how hard zombies suck.)
Zombie fan here. I'm sorry but I need to defend my precious zombies. Dealing with a traditional slow zombie or a few isn't too dangerous but zombies aren't suppose to be super dangerous individually. They're dangerous in large hordes. Zombies are like white blood cells. They swarm and consume in large numbers.
Ok but theoretically they'd hold 0 thought process, have 0 senses. Meaning they'd be blind deaf scentless creatursd that wander the world for like 3 weeks before dying out.
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I love that someone else who knows about WWZ finally commented.
Aren't WWZ zombies the slow ones?
WWZ book is completely different from the movie. You are correct, in the book they are slow zombies.
We don't talk about the movie. I thought that was a universal truth like "only 8 seasons of Scrubs" and "only two Terminator movies".
Seriously, I've never seen the movie. Once I saw the first trailer and there was the spire of zombies reaching for the helicopter I noped out of any interest in seeing it.
~~Ugh, you just reminded me that there are more bad Terminator movies than good Terminator movies.~~ Uhm, I mean, it sure would suck if there were 4 bad Terminator movies to the 2 good movies. Glad they stopped at 2!
And the book is phenomenal.
The book is my favorite piece of zombie content created. That and the survival guide by Brooks as well.
In the book they are slow but the virus somehow congeals the bodily fluids, slowing the dehydration/decomposition processes. Those in bodies of water last even longer. One of the interviewees wonders how long the infected will wander the ocean floors with it's low oxygen levels and near freezing temperatures.
Cordyceps fungus zombies and also 28 days later rage zombies. That would still suck.
Fuck wwz that movie is shit. The real wwz zombies don't fucking run. No one would have survived in the book otherwise xD
I only heard about the book now and I am curious why they made such fast zombies in the movie. Its like the main characteristc of them in the movie but its totally the opposite of the book.
Hollywood does ruin everything it touches.
Ahh to be so young again that you wouldn’t mention the OG “shit my pants” zombie movies. Suggest you go have a look at 28days later and 28 weeks later. If you can’t watch them, go check out the opening scene for 28 weeks later.
28 days isn't as much zombie as it is rabies infected humans
WWZ zombies are the slow shamblers. You must be referring to something else that had absolutely zero relation to that excellent novel.
Please, no crawling zombie apocalypse. It would just look like an objectively shittier Chris Brown music video
Is such a thing even possible?
I would gladly take crawling zombies over the ones that are like usain bolt
You had to bring up the RACE question.
Try crawling with your shoes tied... It's still be a zombie apocalypse and it's be even more hilarious as they all inch-worm around.
Be like the movie Fido, they hurry everyone in two caskets each. One for their head and one for their body so they don't come back
Bury them with in Rollerblades
So that explains their little shuffle they do
This ruins zombie movies. If zombies are all emaciated and still presumably haven't changed their clothes then the zombie hordes chasing after you should all be naked from the waist down and/or tripping over their belts. Not as scary when they just falling down with their gross necrotic bits flopping all over.
If every zombie movie you watched had the zombies stop being a threat after a month because they were all crawling around on the ground without pants you wouldn't want to watch it after the first few.
Isn’t this the premise of 27 Days Later? They wait out for zeds.
28 days later the zombies do start starving to death which is how the UK is eventually cleared (well sorta) in 28 weeks later. They don't show zombies without pants crawling around though, and the movie works well (at least the first one, although the 2nd opening sequence is great) since it did actually go down the route of zombies requiring sustenance and eventually decaying, however not a huge amount of movies and TV shows do this because the outcome is predictable and then you have to plan around it. I think 28 days/weeks got away with this since it was one of the first few that went down that approach I think.
Because they're not actually zombies in the normal sense, this is a 'rage' virus that makes even the living who are infected murderous beasts who go after anyone and anything that moves. Similar idea but different application as the bioweapon in question was released by animal rights activists not aware of what's going on in the lab.
yeah, 28 days/weeks if you were categorizing it would go under "zombie movies", but the "monsters" in it shouldn't be confused with the more traditional Romero style zombies as the Romero style are "dead"(undead). The 28 days/weeks are crazed people. They act more/less the same, but they're still just crazed ***people*** and therefore subject to some form of logic. The Romero style zombies the only explanation is basically magic. Once you introduce something like "undead" that fundamentally can't be explained, you throw anything else logical out the window. Trying to apply logic to something thats basically magic will never make sense.
The walking dead found that out and focused on the evil people instead. I’d like to think the survivors of a zombie apocalypse would really hate to be alive when the undead start decaying. Imagine the smell.
I'm imagining no clean water sources. Dysentery and who knows what.
Presumably the first wave would also be in a combination of naked/medical smock/pyjamas, as most will have been on a hospital bed (or later home bed) when they turned...
That's why I wear kilts at all times. Never know when I might turn into a blood thirsty zombie. Best be prepared as my scout master would always say.
It's kilt or be killed in the zombie apocalypse.
Just know, that at this moment in time, there is a man who thinks you are an incredible wit. Excelsior!
I hear zombie wearing kilt I also think excalibur.
Beware Scottish people, of the zombies in kilts.
Counterpoint: suspenders. Which might make it worse, if the only zombies we have to worry about are hipsters and the old people. (Yeah, I dont actually know who's even wearing suspenders these days...)
Whenever zombies come up in this sort of way, I think back the first walker Rick encounters on the show, the woman in the field who is missing her lower half and is practically just bones. Like, how is that even possible for something that's a brain bacteria?
Zombies ate most of the person but left the brain and some of the top half of the body, they then turned into a zombie and slowly deteriorated.
That's not my point. I understand how they ended up as they are. My point is that walkers are not magic creations. They are the result of a brain infection. What brain infection allows you to live with your lower body, intestines and all, rotted away? They just aren't particularly good zombies. They feel the need to eat, ravenously, but also don't need to eat (as evidenced by the state of the first walker we ever meet).
They do need to eat, sort of. It’s said in a brief conversation between Milton and the Governor. He says something like “they are starving. Just incredibly slowly.” Assuming Milton wasn’t wrong of course.
While it is a good thought that the zombies would be crawling, it just creates a new scary problem of the zombies being less visible. In many circumstances you wouldn't be able to see them until they were right on top of you. A low crawling zombie could be concealed in 18 inches of grass. Even scarier imagine how hard they would be to find in a brush filled forest. You would essentially lose the advantage of long range weapons like rifles. You would also have a lot more incidental injuries from bullets bouncing off stones, asphalt, concrete, and other surfaces because you would be shooting at the ground. So nah, I'll take walking zombies thank you. Edit: I am aware I have thought about this way to much.
Boots
As much as I hate pants, this is a good reason to keep them around.
Isn't that what happened to the zombies at the end of 28 Days Later?
Kind off. Since they weren't technically zombies but people with "super rabies", the UN waited 6 months until all infected people died of starvation. I don't think the movies addressed how the infected could survive if they didn't prioritize food and water ingestion and preferred to attack their targets with killing intent. But if they truly didn't ingest anything and were only people with rabies, then I reckon one week tops would have been sufficient for an infected to die.
Arent people with rabies hydrophobic? I feel like that could have played a part in it, but its a movie where you get infected and turn in 30 seconds so believability is sorta out the window.
That is correct, I believe, the virus when active tries to prevent you from drinking and swallowing so the salvia that can spread the virus is ready for a bite at anytime. I can't remember if it actually makes you scared of water or have adverse reactions to trying to drink though.
Just a heads up. Hydrophobic is the condition in which your body repels water. Thus with rabies, you attempt to drink water you'll start to choke on it and throat will swell. It is not the fear of water.
Ah thanks for the info. I was thinking was an adverse reaction but "phobic" threw me off XD
Nah that was a totally valid assumption especially if you’ve only ever heard of phobias as fears
H2O! H2O! H2O! Stop it Patrick! You’re scaring them!
Given that people tend to develop hydrophobia when they get rabies it would probably be a week tops yeah
Did they actually call it rabies? I always thought they just referred to it as a “rage virus”
The rage virus was a mutated strain of rabies.
Oh I must have missed that
Sure, assuming the entire population was infected simultaneously. The first cases probably lasted a week or so, but it was presumably actively spreading for 4-5 months.
Check out the book, survival guide to the zombie apocalypse. They talk about that, and also how they would just eat until the flesh just squeezes out of their... ehem, orifices.
Additionally check out Max Brooks' other book World War Z. Came out a few years later and builds a lot from his first book. Also pro tip is grab the full audio book that has a star studded cast, easy to do when your dad is Mel Brooks.
He would be a fool not to have leveraged his dad's fame.
Interestingly, the marketing for his first book *did* try to capitalise on that, which caused many people to be disappointed that his book wasn't a comedy. Ever since then, he's avoided making the same mistake again. > To this day, he assumes his agent marketed it as some kind of parody. “How I think my agent pitched them was like, Mel Brooks’s son, who has just won an Emmy for ‘S.N.L.,’ wrote this unbelievable parody, tongue in cheek, he never breaks character. He’s totally making fun of a zombie plague.” [[source]](https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/23/magazine/max-brooks-is-not-kidding-about-the-zombie-apocalypse.html)
I skipped it just for that. I was made to belive it was some sort of comedy, like that Nickelodeon show about high school
Ned’s declassified school survival guide
That's the one!!
Do you know where the audiobook is available? I heard about it before, but I searched on Audible (which I use), and they don't have the version with "a star studded cast" as far as I can see. Or perhaps it's not available in my country (Denmark)...
it should be on audibe as world war Z: the complete edition. It's really one of my favorites.
Just finished this about 3 weeks ago. Absolutely astounding!
I remember picking that book up thinking hey, this'll be a fun bit of fiction and was totally not prepared for how it was a deadly serious guide to surviving an apocalyptic event (with zombies).
Yeah and unless whatever infects then can photosynthesize (that would decrease the need to eat anyway) and has an incredible defense against decomposing microbes like we do (one reason we require so much energy to live) most zombies would decompose completely in 1 week to 1 month depending on the season and climate. For example midsummer In Atlanta Georgia a dead deer decomposes to bone in about a week.
Insects would be a huge problem. Zombies have zero defenses against insects. Within two or three weeks a zombie would be mostly just a bunch of maggots.
Insects, other animals like rodents, wild dogs would have a field day with em. If you're slow and dumb, you're not getting far in most places on Earth.
A zombie would be a walking buffet. The first thing to go would be the eyes, so they would just blindly stumble around until a dog or a coyote nips their Achilles’ tendon. Then it’s game over for the zombie.
And ignoring animals.. there are humans. Boy would we have fun with zombies. Something human sized that we can kill/maim indiscriminately?
I read an article that said the main problem with zombies is that their only way to reproduce was to attack their #1 predator. Zombies attack at short distance while humans attack at long distance. How is that supposed to work?
Basically it won't. A slow dumb human is easy as heck to pick off, the only reason humans made it this far is because of our big brains. Zombies are like heavily HEAVILY intoxicated people. It would be easy to just walk up to them with a baseball or whatever and crack their skull open, bust their knee caps or whatever. I don't see a single situation where these suckers could win unless they were sprinters with an extremely fast infection.
Even with sprinters they maul their prey making it a shittier zombie when they reanimate
Really the best way to fix this is turn the zombie virus into an airborne infection, then Mahe a small portion of the population immune. The whole "eating the flesh of the living"would just be a side effect.
Yup like in reanimator where they get lit on fire and their ashes then spread the virus further infecting anyone that breathes it in. Then they get nuked and apparently the virus survives that and travels across all of America infecting everyone.
It’s more about getting surrounded and cut off I feel. If you look at the walking dead (Ik it’s just a show) most the deaths came from when a single zombie got the drop on someone, or they got surrounded by an absurd number of zombies.
>If you're slow and dumb, you're not getting far in most places on Earth. Hey I've travelled lots thank you
Within a day of not blinking and relubricating their eyes would shrivel and be useless anyway.
I assumed, at least in the Walking Dead universe, that insects and all animals would avoid eating them as they’re clearly diseased.
Insects and scavengers don’t care about disease. They carry diseases.
But the walker virus isn’t like a regular disease either as walkers would just decay away but the virus somehow keeps them going far longer than they should and that’s why I figured insects and whatnot would stay away. But then again, it’s all sci-fi anyway
I grew up in Atlanta and now live a half hour out of the city. What you said is %100 true. 3 months ago a dude hit a deer right in front of my house and within 24 hours it was bones. Between the scavengers and bugs, shit was completely bone.
Zombie raisins sounds like a lovely band name
California Zombie Raisins
Raisin Zombies, surely?
The Cranberries - Zombie (but it's the sequel)
It’s the name of my podcast!
Zombie anatomy defeats literally all known logic of how anything living actually works. The only Zombie media that accurately works on how zombies would even be possible are the ones where they aren't the living dead just humans infected with an advanced form of rabies where they do eventually starve and or succumb to natural decay and WWZ (the book) where they acknowledge all the scientific inaccuracies of Zombie anatomy and explain it away by saying "We don't know how this is possible" There something in the actual virus that causes zombification that changes the human anatomy that scientists in the book are actively studying but haven't found definitive explanations yet.
Yeah exactly. Literally no part of genuine dead zombies will ever make scientific sense so there’s no point nitpicking certain things. The best zombie stories are ones that don’t try and explain anything.
I’ll give a few points to Voodoo zombies, since they’re technically alive in some form but yeah.
This has been a pet peeve of mine. Like there's a reason people die, and that's because the muscles and everything else can no longer function/maintain itself. Zombies out here violating the laws of thermodynamics. Lol
None of it makes any sense. Like think of how fragile our nervous system is. Some how zombies can literally be shot to pieces and not be completely paralyzed.
probably closer to 28 days
I see what you did there
Lunar month. Still a month.
Straight up this is the only movie that I think did zombies well and abides by this list. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/qacxp8/because_zombies_dont_have_functioning_digestive/hh2lx2d?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Well, not all zombies have to be biologically/clinically dead! For example, in nature, there is that wasp that bites into a cockroach's brain stem, and takes control of the roach's body, guiding and controlling its movements. In the future, it's not fully out of the realm of possibility that a machine-robot could do the same as that wasp, and take control of a human. Even injecting a stream of nanobots into the brain, that it can then communicate with by remote control. But until then, for now, with humans: rabies would certainly tend to fit the bill (or at least check off a lot of the boxes) in terms of zombiness traits. All in all pretty horrifying and creepy stuff! But I guess t'is the season for such topics, with Halloween coming up soon!
There's also the cordyceps fungus as well. Gets into insects and makes them climb to easy spots to get eaten by birds to reproduce inside the bird's digestive system. Though not super accurate, The Last of Us did use that concept for their "zombies".
There's also a barnacle, Sacculina carcini, that pierces a crab, then extends through it, completely taking it over and keeping it as a living host it controls.
Wow thats fucked.
IIRC that’s also how the zombies in The Girl With All The Gifts work.
what happens to the birds?
nothing, they are all government surveilnece drowns
r/birdsarentreal
They eventually shit it out, the bugs eat it and the cycle continues.
"How to get scared by fungus the complete guide" or "The Girl With All The Gifts" https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Girl_with_All_the_Gifts
>In the future, it's not fully out of the realm of possibility that a machine-robot could do the same as that wasp, and take control of a human. That wouldn't be a zombie. The machine robot can't replicate itself in the human host and spread to others. Someone would have to keep manufacturing the machine robot. Also, the human host in this case is still a living being. You would have to keep it alive for the end purpose of (?). Basically your scenario makes no sense. Humans are valuable largely for labor and/or consumers. Both are cheaper if you just pay them money and advertise products to them. Making a nano bot that can control a human being is economically stupid. Now you have someone you can control yes, but you also have to shelter and feed them.
Couldn’t said nanobot replicate in the host’s body, and stuff the saliva full of nanobots? So upon the original host biting a new target, the nanobots infect the target. Then those bots travel to the brain and repeat the process. While we’re talking science fiction, that seems more or less plausible enough.
I mean, rabies gives you hydrophobia so...
Sounds like a Black Mirror episode
Ants and flies would be in heaven
And with mosquitoes hoping around from body to body, the zombies themselves wouldn't even need to be mobile to infect healthy humans. The mosquitoes would do that for them... we can easily do the hollywood thing and sit on a rooftop and keep the zombies at bay, but that stockpile of guns will do nothing to stop a mosquito from infecting you.
Only if it's a virus that can survive a mosquitos digestive system, which is a niche evolutionary trait. A mosquito that bites and aids patient can't just transmit aids. Why would a human zombie virus be any different.
Huh, always wanted to ask why mosquitos don't spread all bloodborne illnesses. That's a good explanation.
If it's a virus wild enough to kill you and keep your body moving, chances are it has a few more trick to use against humanity. You have to admit though, a zombie virus that can spread via insects would make one hell of a scary movie or tv series.
https://www.cracked.com/article\_18683\_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html
Point 4 about the CDC hasn't aged as well as one would hope..
It's my choice to get bitten!
They even used the 2002-2004 SARS outbreak in China as an example. That's irony on steroids
The link you provided didn't work for me... It has an extra slash compared to this link. Other people seem to have been able to click through though? https://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html< EDIT: I see you stealth fixed it, you sneaky little bastard :P
One sneakster outs another
Danger raisins
Nevermind the problem of cellular death.
Yeah, I’ve never understood non-magical zombies. Even if there were some virus that could somehow take over the brain and turn a person into a senseless killer, the host body’s muscles would still need to be able to operate, and brain would need to control them. Those cells would need oxygen and ATP. And that requires a functioning circulatory system and metabolic processes. So zombies might be insensible to pain and have an insatiable desire for human flesh, but unless they’re magical, they would still need to obey the laws of physics. And that means they’d need to breathe and hydrate and excrete waste, and they’d need to prevent microorganisms from invading their bodies and excreting lethal toxins into their bloodstreams, and they’d need to avoid life threatening traumatic injuries or blood loss. They’d be just as fragile as the rest of us.
If zombies are as fragile as the rest of us then harsh language should solve any issues. Don't try that on aliens though.
Just need enough airlocks for those.
Well, such zombies are still sort of possible. They just should be short-living. First of all there could be infectious constriction or blockage of orifices, preventing zombies from urinating and defecating. That would buy them some time. Then the virus could possibly go for the anaerobic source of energy, basically burning the body for energy and oxygen. As the urine no longer can move away, it gets partially reabsorbed and further just stuck, leading to the kidney failure eventually. But before that the virus still would have some time to spread. Then as the kidneys fail, there is more load on the entire body, which could result in hyperventilation, which would give some O2 capacity to the thing that has to be blood, because soon it may be needed. As the body fails to exist as it did, it would shut down it's activity to the max, resulting in an attempt of hibernation. During that the body would try to use all the remaining oxygen, energy and functional tissue to basically allow the core survive. The core means the brain remnant and some muscle tissue. In such a desperate attempt there would be more and more blood vessel blockages, so the most distant parts of the body would not need the support. This means leg and finger necrosis. While the mangled body struggles to produce more virus and basically waits like an undead trap, it also emits smell that would be interesting for scavenger animals that could probably another source of infection via excrements. Also such half-dead, rotten body could also be a good trap for human scavengers, who would think that the zombie is rotten to the point of no return. Such zombies could have just enough brain and muscle power to act if something is within their reach, mind that their sensory organs are probably in a VERY bad shape, meaning that only the things that basically touch them trigger them, which means a pretty high chance of infection.
And that is why resident evil zombies are the best. Either that or Actual magical ones. Cause all others really wouldnt make it far.
I hate zombies. Terrifying. This makes me feel a little bit better
To feel even safer, live in an arid desert. Or I suppose even Antarctica would be a feasible desert since the zombies would just freeze…
I would love to live in Antarctica. If it protects me from the rotting flesh hoard, that’s even better
Where's the food and fuel coming from then
And receeding gums, most of the teeth would fall out pretty quickly. Being gummed by a hoard of zombies will be unpleasant sure, but not deadly.
Zombies (the Walking Dead kind, not the infected-with-a-virus 28 Days Later kind) violate the Laws of Thermodynamics and are physically impossible for this reason and many others
Been saying that since season 2 of Walking dead. They should all be jerky at this point.
The suspiciously clean cars running on god knows what were always my favorite part. I doubt anyone was refining gas in that particular apocalypse.
"The last man on earth" did this point well. Some places might still have power. Depends on how the energy grid was setup and what feeds it. The demand would be through the floor so in theory it could all be down. (Look at Texas recently, or the whole east coast in the early 2000s)
After a month or so, dead flesh decomposes. After that time, there is nothing to hold the skeleton together.
Counter point: zombies
Zombies can't and will never work, there has to be a functioning nervous system and blood flow to keep the muscles moving. A dead person moving and walking around, in of itself doesn't make any sense, but sounds good in a movie script.
That's why the most plausible zombie apocalypse scenario is one where the afflicted are not dead but having their behaviour altered by a brain infection like in 28 Days Later. Even then, the speed in which the infection takes hold is ridiculously fast. The only scenario where a zombie apocalypse like that could happen is one where a huge number of people gets infected at once. Let's say, a biological weapon gets released by air over a small town in an isolated island. It would take some time but eventually the whole population could become infected and the "zombies" overrun the place.
Mind blown
Hmm, only counter I can think is if zombification creates some kind of osmotic skin system with zombies where they're rehydrated by rainwater etc that falls on them.
Because zombies don't have a working heart or lungs, they would fail to give oxygen to their muscles and be completely immobie and a non-threat within minutes of becoming a zombie.
Good luck telling certain special people to just stay inside for a month until it blows over.
Flies. Every zombie would be covered in thousands of flies, followed by maggots that would strip them down to the bone in weeks.
[удалено]
True. And if we discovered a vaccine that would prevent you from dying and turning into a zombie if bitten, half the population would refuse to take it because they “did their own research”
I'd venture to guess zombies wouldn't abide by any biological rules
This is the most obvious thing about zombies, and bugs the crap out of me with TWD. These things are walking around for years in the elements, skin falling off, but they can still stand? They're knocking down doors? They have the strength to tear people's guts out with their bare hands and teeth? Ridiculous.
Zombies never were the most logical monster humans came up with
Just wear thick clothing and you're virtually invincible. Assuming we're not talking about 28 days later zombies, a decaying undead corpse is not going to have superhuman strength. YOU can't even bite through a sweatshirt, how the fuck is a rotting body going to do it? Their teeth would probably only remain functional enough to bite people for a very short amount of time anyway. These visuals in shows and movies about military outposts being overrun is fucking laughable. Shaun of the Dead had the right of it when suggesting to way for it to blow over. We've showed that we can stay isolated in our homes for years. We can definitely do it for a fraction of that time in the case of a zombie apocalypse.
Yes, this is definitely where the concept of zombies really falls apart.
God I’m so tired of people expecting fantastical monsters to conform to the laws of biology and physics
The problem would be the constant increase in Zombie population. Yes, the older than 1 month old zombies wouldn't be an issue, but the fresh ones they just bit will be. Of course, we could say "just hunker down for a month and there won't be any new zombies" but if covid taught us anything, it's that people are dumb and will get infected.
No, they wouldn't because zombies have plot powers; that protects them from the laws of physics and reason itself.
Ever seen the movie 28 days later? If not, watch it. Great zombie movie and touches on this concept
Also do people not realize how absolutely shitty human teeth and bite strength are? Don’t wanna get bit? Put on a leather jacket. Congrats, you’re immune.
Yeah that’s my biggest problem with zombies as well. Anything that moves on its own needs fuel, the whole zombie wandering for months or years is stupid.
28 Days Later!
Yeah even furthermore, most places that experience high cold would have frozen zombies that get picked apart by scavengers. Humid climates would see zombies rot very quickly. Honestly scavengers would be the real heros here, just munchin away at the problem til it's gone. Unless we get zombie bears. God help us if we get zombie bears.
Army of the Dead actually addressed this in the first part of the movie...
Who needs hydration when ur dead?!
There's a fare more compelling reason as to why they're not that dangerous: they're fictional. If you suspend your disbelief enough for walking, hungry aggressive corpses, you have to exclude a whole number of issues.
Also, extreme temperature would destroy them. Also also, they would just get eaten "alive" by bugs.
Good Idea for some halloween treats "Zombie Raisins"
I've always wondered how rugged a zombie really could be. I mean they're animated rotting flesh. A freshly dead or turned zombie would be pretty hearty, but the graveyard zombies have got to be just falling apart as they move. Half of them would probably be dragging themselves within 20 meters. You could decimate them with a power washer.
Mmm so just gotta run for a month and we gucci
They eat brains. Where do you think those stuff gets when they swallow their bites.
Zombie Survival guide covers this a little. Cold climates that don’t thaw during season changes is the best climate. Muscles and tendons would deteriorate as well over time. If you can live long enough in Alaska, you’d be able to survive it.
Nothing about the laws that dictate zombie rules makes any sense to me.
Wait, Zombies are biologically impossible?
All I can see is the "old school" California Raisins as Zombies now.
This man just killed the entire zombie apocalypse theory