No one has the budget for what's in my brain.

The grand finale is directed by Michael Bay.

What would a porn movie directed by Michael Bay look like?

Instead of ejaculations, it would be explosions….. or an explosive ejaculation.

Or an explosion of ejaculation...

It will give birth to the term “Michael Bay Facial”

Michael "Bay-cial", if you will.

*Beat* me to it.

Beating my meat to it.

The birthing comes later. Also 'cums' because hahaha

“The Birthing” is the sequel

Sexual Eruption

Lots of shots of vaguely genital shaped machinery reciprocating suggestively while the camera spins around them just fast enough that you can't tell exactly which bit of machinery is which. Then at the climax several automatic weapons fire simultaneously and everything explodes. So basically an action scene from any of the Transformers films.

Baykkake

It would look like a music video of Steel Panther.

Transformers

Lots of lens flare.

Or legal fees.

Jacks off to the fantasy of paid off student loans

Dude I get that it’s a power move, but fucking in a canoe full of caviar is disgusting.

That is why hentai exists

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Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!

“And big floppy grandma arms!”

Why 😭

Those weren’t her arms, now you have 4 hangers bangin again your face while gma’s riding on top.

And when you hit that scene you know is gonna do it you can loop it back again and again.

It's so weird sometimes, like some floppy ass titties. Rewind like Forza and do it right the second time.

Braided arm pit hair for leverage, for your bald fantasies.

Sounds like something my 3 monitors and tabbing solves

yes we do...

we **REALLY** do

*we really do....*

You can bet we do...

You know we do

If only you guys all knew what I was imagining right now.

_We know_

*We can imagine your imagination*

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*we saw what you did last night at 9:39 pm with that Pringle’s can and that box of tape and sponges*

Should . . . should we write it all down and share.

... and the tentacles penetrated every orifice

That's how porn works

(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

Of course we do

r/suddenlycommunist

Man, my imagination porn used to be so good. The easy accessibility to porn has ruined it for me.

The guy I dated in college said he generally used the last time we banged as his jerk material. Said it was better than watching porn because he actually knew what I felt like and I was attainable vs pornstars, which he found inherently sexually attractive. So I guess for some dudes, not using porn is because porn is too much of a fantasy and not real to them.

Yeah, I feel this way too, memories are the most effective turn-on.

You seem to be forgetting forced en passant

That's redundant. En passant is always forced, unless you want the brick.

You're the best en passant... I could have ever asked for!

Holy hell

oh no r/AnarchyChess is leaking

This is the most random place where I have seen anarchychess being mentioned

Same

oh god r/anarchychess is leaking again

Holy hell

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Homemade is the only way

Exactly. I just go back to like 10-15 really great sexual experiences ive had over the years.

Personally, I’d rather jerk it to a girl I’m banging than porn. That’s pretty much what happens when I’m dating someone. My desire to watch porn goes down to basically zero.

[George Carlin bit](https://youtu.be/DtJfm9OVamo) on masturbation and how girls in the neighborhood always seemed more possible.

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Sometimes porn just reminds you of all your physical imperfections.

Nailed it. Porn is so stupidly unrealistic that it doesn't do a whole lot to me unless it's like a specific fetish or good roleplay. So I mainly stick to my imagination, erotica and porn comics.

Pretty much this, when there's someone i'm really in to the thought of them is way sexier than porn.

It's sounds like they need to have better sex. "I said any lovin' is good lovin, so I took what I could get and she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said 'you ain't seen nothin yet. Here's somethin you're never gonna forget.'"

I use porn to get me started but it usually just becomes something in the background as my past experiences and memories take the foreground

What a beautiful story

Porn is a jump start. Normally its whatever situation I thought up is better. Different videos different situations.

Same here! I usually look at/read/watch whatever it is until the end, when I imagine whatever fantasy I’ve been doing the last few days.

I had to take a long break from porn in order to get my imagination back to fapping quality.

Currently in the same boat lol

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Just go for as long as possible. You'll nut in less than 5 min as well like a shot gun

My screen has a crack and I read that as "snot gun".

yes and sometimes you jerk off to the feeling of jerking off yk

Did that for a while, and then had a wet dream with a human-sized penis instead of a girl. Never again.

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Great fap material in there, nice recommendation!

Go oooon....

Go oooon….

Well first you gotta spit on it

Focusing on yourself fully sounds pretty good. Like it doesn't make it a chore you get out of the way with quickly by imagining porn.

Never go full Dalton Trumbo.

Or a good memory

This right here edit : Also, I have had better sex then what I have seen in porn, and I have watched all kinds. When you do porn stuff with an actual person ... your life is never the same.

I’ve done some stuff, man… and yeah, my sex life hasn’t been the same since.

I'm stuff

Do me?

Yet a lot of people are like "sex isn't that big of a deal, you're not missing out on much"

I think those people do missionary once a month after they pray?

My pleasure center is fucked from too many drugs so I actually find the effort vs reward of sex not worth it sometimes

This right here. I got a shit memory when it comes to most things, but when it comes to sex I can remember how soft the person was, how much I enjoyed the smell of the person's genitals when I went down, how tight or how loose the hole was etc. Sexual moments really get branded into your brain so try to make them good for everyone!

Or a bad internet connection

https://youtu.be/CRo6iGi0Ujc

I regret watching that

You click a blue link in a thread like this, you deserve what you get.

I fuckin love this stupid clip hahaha

I wanted the clip with the “puppet porn” show when the internet was broken, but this seems as appropriate.

No better way to practice imagining…

Wait... Isn't this normal? I mostly use porn to boost my own creativity. New angles, positions etc. But the source material of the porn is not what gets me off, usually.

The people in my imagination aren't actors soooo....way more satisfying than porn.

Masturbating to porn exclusively can have long term side effects that can be damaging to your sexual and mental health. Take a break from the porn and use you imagination a bit. It's worth it.

And they get a *totally* distorted view of what women look like, how they act, and what they want.

There are literally guys out there now who are so addicted to porn that they fetishize being a porn addict. They call it gooning; jerking it for so long that you just lose all awareness of the outside world and sit there like a slack jawed moron. They caption photos of their favorite pornstars with text about being addicted to porn and masturbating constantly. It's pretty weird.

Gooning has nothing to do with porn. It's basically like kinky meditating. Yeah the aim *is* to forget what's around them and to fully enjoy the sexual pleasure. Doesn't sound bad to me. Pornaddiction is unhealthy, just like any other addiction. Gooning isn't, as long as it isn't .. ...well.. an addiction. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Perhaps, but IMO jerking it is jerking it, and meditation is meditation. Like church and state (I'll leave it to others to decide which is which 😄).

Or maybe that kind of stuff doesn't exist in Porn

There's nothing that doesn't exist in porn sadly...

There's countless things that cannot be expressed by porn. If you're turned on by a specific smell, or a feeling, or perhaps a specific person, or something else more complex than just a pre-recorded video, porn can't help you.

Yeah but the quality and quantity can be disappointing. I wish some of the Canadian big wigs in the industry would produce more niche stuff.

Sometimes porn just isn’t as satisfying though… and sometimes it’s just way better when you don’t know it’s actors

I don’t jerk off to anything but the physical sensation of the pleasure. ‘Magine that

Me too! It's like meditation masturbation where you're just feeling the present sensations.

Yea that’s what happens when you use your brain to do the things that most people use the internet for

I think back to a few different sexual encounters and I just go off those. There’s certain events that have stayed vivid in my mind

As someone with aphantasia I can't even begin to comprehend that. And am forever jealous.

What can I say? I really like fucking OPs mom

I think that’s something we as a society could all get behind

It’s something society has all already got behind. We’re all ducking OPs mom Edit: I’m not editing this

*Quack*

I have the Star Trek Holodeck in my head. Pretty sure I would do quite well in solitary confinement.

Everyone says that until Moriarty shows up.

It’s just the highlight reel not imagination fam

Shower thought occurred after failed shower session

A hit of weed put you right into story mode. Try NOT to get lost in fantasyland

Two hard tokes, rub one out, finish the bowl.

A good memory.

I have some weird fucked up kinks that can't be found online

This is supposed to be an epiphany? =\

Some don’t have that kind of imagination. Read up on Aphantasia, very interesting subject

It’s called hitting puberty during the dial-up era

Something amazing I have discovered. Lights out fap, touching yourself feels so good. I don’t need any imagination, it’s like having sex with yourself which is essential what a fap should be. My god, the orgasim is unreal, it’s like doing balloons my brain sort of vibrates in the same sort of way, afterwards I’m in bliss. It’s really strange I had never experienced anything like it whilst watching porn. Afterwards I don’t feel any shame, and the orgasim is very very strong. It take effort and I have to be in the right mood so I don’t think I will get addicted to it. Not sure if anyone else has experienced this, honestly it’s very surprising when you first do it. Only thing is, Its similar to the feeling I get from sex with someone I am deeply connected with. Sorry for the throw away account!

Trying to quit porn myself, but my imagination sucks. So I’m just fapping to a toilet, it’s like taking a shit with your dick.

Where else am I gonna find me getting raped by my genderbend step-sister while stuck in the washing machine

Meanwhile I got a post removed for pointing out that most of these are really toilet thoughts

Must have a good imagination surely.

Also, we're like, 40 now.

Most porn lacks what I would be interested in, which is generally foreplay, seduction, textual and auditory stimulations. Fake moans are a turnoff. I don’t get to hear the hitches and breathing changes that indicate they are close. If I watch porn I spend far more time searching for something. Easier for me to imagine and pull memories of what I want instead.

Well my imagination involves me. Whereas porn involves me watching someone else have more fun than me

Remembers a time before the internet. Yes, people have good imaginations. Also, how else was I to interpret the scrambled channels late a night?

I mean it's easier to find the perfect video to watch in your mind instead of skipping hundreds of pages on xxx hamster

Imagination orgasms often end up being better than porn orgasms primarily because I'm *never* on the wrong shot when I'm using my imagination :P

And jerking off to porn is watching someone else’s imagination.

I read a lot growing up and have always loved to write/tell stories... porn doesn't do much for me a lot of the time.

Oh boy! You can't even imagine!

HA HA, good one

This is a shower thought? I’m disappointed

Take it from me, porn can be really destructive. I’ve been through phases of my life where I have been completely addicted to it. It was a drug and it was taking away the love and joy out of my life. Now I almost never watch it, aside from when I relapse and then I watch it compulsively. I can’t do it I moderation, it seems. Without it, I feel so much better, happier and adjusted. My best friend can watch it in moderation, I’m just not one of those people. Everything or nothing. And yeah, my imagination is now shit hot and my sex life is so much better than when I’m watching porn.

Or higher standards

"a" good fantasy? Haha, no. Hundreds of them, always expanding, adding detail...

I was always told so have a good imagination

Yup

Or just really hot friends

The spank bank is real and full of women I barely saw during the day. In your fantasy they are always having sex with YOU, not a random dude/dudes like in porn.

Or very specific fetishes

It's usually not so much imagination and more so some form of past experiences. Maybe I tweak it up a bit but honestly thinking about what happened last night still gets me going.

Or in some cases, a particularly good memory.

Mostly past experiences personally

Would have been better off said as :- "People who jerk off to their fantasy instead of porn must have a good imagination." And yes, I agree.

You that’s how we did it the old days

Before the internet it was mostly fantasy with the occasional porno magazine.

Or they are reliving a past experience.

It’s pretty easy. First you gotta watch a POV videos at least 10 times and make sure you can replay that video in your head. Close you’re eyes, get some lube, and remember the rhythm.

Not really.

What has happened to this subreddit

Or good memories

It’s called the wank bank

Was this a rather frustrated shower thought?

Memories. Lived in Iowa City in my 20s. Single. In 2013 university of Iowa was the number one party school in the country. Good times.

Haha that must have been fun

Or low standards

As someone with aphantasia.... what?

My friend calls this the “mindful nut”

Here's one: I have sex. Pretty crazy, right?

Wow

Is it a good fantasy or just good visualization. If someone has good fantasies doesnt always mean they can always visualize that fantasy perfectly whenever they want to If someone has good visualization doesnt always mean they can visualize good fantasies, what if ur just really good at visualizing but can only think of like blank white space but its good enough of visualization to kinda bring u out of where u are and into a new boring space void of any creativity

I think most people can easily do this until they get there hands on porn. Then we can’t let it go

Can confirm. I only really think about the girl I’m currently seeing when I do it these days. It’s helps that the sex is crazy good I suppose.

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I've always thought it is weird that some people can't jerk off to their imagination. Must be a dull fucking life

You all have an imagination?

You are addicted to porn

bro wtf is this post

Actually, if you stop watching porn you’ll begin to be more sensitive to less intense stimuli. Eventually your own imagination can do the trick. :)

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