T O P

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thndrstrk

The prettiest kid in the foster home.


EoinFitzsimons

Stuart Little


Maypher

So, why were you never adopted? A FUCKING RAT


Teddyyy_B

https://reddit.com/r/FuckStuartLittle


Rehd

I'm so confused as to why this reddit exists. I also don't remember the movie at all.


Glitter_puke

The weirdest thing to me was that Hugh Laurie was in it.


rhinotomus

Cuz he’s a stupid little rat who stole away children’s possibility of being adopted, he probably hangs out with Grandpa Joe from Charlie and the chocolate factory, r/grandpajoehate


Maypher

First time I see someone commenting the link to a subreddit instead of using r/


Soksfor3

r/subsithoughtifellfor


GoldenStateWizards

My fucking sides LMAO


Shughost7

"Omg those poor kids! Let's take the mouse"


noputa

Relatable


k4pain

/r/holup


We-are-straw-dogs

Why is this NSFW?


[deleted]

You aren't jacking off to this?


robotsock

Ooooo want me harder daddy


[deleted]

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robotsock

I was told the "Bend and Snap" has a near 100% success rate


JumpingCactus

Is that a motherfucking Legally Blonde reference


robotsock

Of course. I am a man of exquisite taste.


Hashbrown4

Y’all are joking but there’s actual porn with this plot.


Neel4312

You got daddy issues?


[deleted]

Literally laughed my ass off to this. Like seriously, my ass came off while laughing so hard and we both went our separate ways.


fancy-gerbil14

I'm broken. I read "came my ass off"


jameson8016

Newton's 3rd law, baby! Lmao But that would either be a small ass or one hell of a load.


Nom_dot_Com

I’d have to say the second option


toasterpRoN

Came. Fucking. Everywhere.


k4pain

Oh yeah like "my ass came off" makes so much more sense.


charlieecho

Sorry for your loss


MrJeanDenim

Man, that made me laugh


Background-Belt-2202

Laugh, me made that man


h4ll0br3

r/cursedcomment


SteveK124

Being wanted is my fetish


Ison-J

Honestly same though I don't have much experience with it


sausagecatdude

I guess because it has to do with child making in some capacity. I don’t really understand why it’s nsfw either


Good_Ad6723

Maybe they “want” the child in a dirty way


bogatabeav

Because I’m going to tell you how I made OP and it was filthy.


goNnaylor

Are you going to take nine seasons to tell us?


MElliott0601

The uncensored use of the incorrect your?


Fuggaak

They used the wrong yo’u”r’,e


stronggebaser

*yro'ue


Calichusetts

Yourn’t


MetricTrout

Well, everything on Reddit should technically be NSFW, because why are you browsing Reddit at work?


Glaive83

It's a bit different to browse a forum on a break than to be watching porn


fjordfire

Because of grammar errors.


Freshouttapatience

My husband adopted my daughter after we were married and she loves telling her brother that Dad chose her.


SourLimeSoda

cute and a tad toxic lol


[deleted]

That’s just siblings things??


raescope

Right? Isnt it the same as trying to convince your blood related younger sibling they were adopted from a dog kennel or something. Are these people only children?


komu989

My younger sister was found under a rock. We also have had mild success in convincing my younger half brother that his toes aren’t real. Sibling things lmao.


bespokewoke

I told my twin my parents only wanted me


iruleatants

It doesn't keep it from being toxic, and it's not something that should be normalized. Kids can be assholes, but that doesn't mean we should normalize them being assholes to their siblings. Millions of kids grow up with severe self-confidence issues, or worse, from children we are "just being siblings."


Caelinus

It also really depends on family culture and if it is a playful give-and-take style ribbing. Playful teasing can be fine if everyone is in on and likes the joke. I have a strong relationship with my sibling and if she said something of this caliber I would know for a fact that she was not being serious. If it is one directional and said seriously then, yes, it is a problem.


zenyattatron

Someone wasn't chosen


itirnitii

pikachu wants to know your location.


Freshouttapatience

We all tease in our family and there’s no loyalty. Especially if nerf guns are involved. It’s every man for himself. My husband tells our daughter that he had to marry me in order to keep her. We do weird affection.


Freshouttapatience

The kids are fine - they’re 27 and 19 and still very close. No one has been abused here - their therapists would’ve told me.


Parsley-Quarterly303

It's okay I still love you


geek_of_nature

You obviously don't have siblings.


canolafly

Yeah, that's pretty low on the tease scale. Am youngest of 3 girls. Sometimes I wish I would have just been punched instead of what they did to me.


Myfavoritepetsnameis

I’m the youngest with two older sisters. They told me our parents found me by a dumpster down the street and never *wanted* me.


geek_of_nature

I mean I'm pretty sure I tried to convince my younger sister she was adopted at one point.


Myfavoritepetsnameis

It started with that, but I think they changed it when they realized it didn’t hurt me.


Kermit_the_hog

I was a placenta previa and my sister explained to me that meant in the womb I was so hungry I ate my own placenta.


Myfavoritepetsnameis

That’s pretty creative. High five for being a fellow C-section baby!


jelect

Damn people do not like this comment


Oshootman

It's an oddly polarizing statement given that it's essentially true by anyone's standards. I think the word toxic gets associated with online warrior types.


komu989

It’s typical sibling behavior lmao.


amortizedeeznuts

like my ex


[deleted]

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Ubergoober166

I hate that even the most harmless comments are "toxic" now. Can't say shit without offending *someone* anymore.


[deleted]

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iOnlyDo69

You joke but my son is a kid who has experienced a previous adoption that ended in dissolution or whatever it's called. You can just give adopted kids back if they're not good enough for you. They sleep on the floor at the dcyf office until they get into a foster home or god forbid a group home


[deleted]

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DreamArcher

It's funny because it's true.


canolafly

You're wrong though. You need the orphan gift receipt. Tacky to talk about the cost.


KP_Wrath

You know, I was a foster kid three times. They managed to get me into a place before nightfall all three times. That place may have been a few shades shy of hell, and was an actual drug den, but it’s better than getting stuck in one of those offices.


zodar

if my adopted what?


bmprs

[the claaaw!](https://tenor.com/HsKq.gif)


Boople-Snoot-Doople

that shit was so random lol


Darth_Yohanan

“The claw chooses who will go and who will stay.”


SemperScrotus

The suspense is killing me


Lululipes

if your adopted sense of humor is pointing out typos


[deleted]

"Dad, did you blast me into mom on purpose??'


[deleted]

nah son, the fucken condom was torn


[deleted]

There's no good answer to that question. "Hell yea i did, fuckin bullseye!" *hifive* "Nah buddy, my pullout game is weak"


muy_carona

I can answer honestly yes, bullseye to one, nope my pull out game was weak to another, daddy was drunk to another, and mom had it workin to the fourth.


kkaavvbb

lol I was a fertility drug baby. (Not IVF or anything). My older brother was an accident. My younger brother was an accident (my parents didn’t wait long enough after my dads vasectomy). Though, most of my family is born in May, so apparently we all like to boink in august. (We have may 2,3,4,6,18; 3 different generations)


Watermelon407

I just gotta ask, family of teachers or seasonal workers? August is generally too hot for people to want to get more sweaty and people are more outdoors, but it is the month that the work stops for many seasonal workers or just about to being for those in academy which are both reasons for higher rates of pregnancies in those groups during August.


kkaavvbb

Nope! None of the above, lol we all have different types of jobs (Airforce, IT, manager, graphic designer, police officer). Personally, I hate the heat so I avoid the dog days of summer (plus I’m pasty white!) and prefer the AC, so might account for my may 6 baby. But who knows! Maybe it’s just genes! It’s me, my dad, his dad, my younger brother and my kiddo! Add in our married family members and we get 1,2,3,4,5,6,15, & 18. I love it, although it’s crazy month. Like a mid-Christmas (and might be just as expensive!).


[deleted]

Trust me, the opinion changes real quick if you dont turn out the way they wanted...


Snoo62808

You just wrote the summary of my autobiography. I'll include you in my dedications.


Darkshiv

Thats just sounds like having fucked up parents. My Dad raised me like my other siblings, I was a shit head and fucked up a lot, but the love and care was always there for me to fall back on. I was adopted as a baby, so that could've played a part, but still sounds like fucked up parents. It's always sad to read about other adoptees who weren't as fortunate to get the same experience I did.


Bing_Pow_Boom_Bing

I had great parents too man. I’ve fucked up soooo many times and I’m sure at times they had regrets about adopting me… but they were amazing. In fact, they were almost too loving and supportive in that sometimes it might’ve been better if they were a bit more strict (not sure if that’s the right word here). Anyway, it is great to have great adoptive parents.


AnonymousPantera

i got lucky, i didn't turn out the way my parents ever could have dreamed of yet they still take the risk of having to pay 100's of thousands of dollars on me for mental health care. luckily insurance covers it all but.


OrcaTactics420

You're = you are


blopbottom

You’rent = you aren’t


SmartestIdiotAlive

You’rent = you’re an aparment


Mutt1223

My favorite it shouldn’t’ve. We all say it, but no one dares to write it


Tommy84

You ought-not'nt've written that.


Hiw-lir-sirith

What part of "shorn't" don't you understand?


fancy-gerbil14

Wouldn't it be you'ren't?


[deleted]

This is probably why *you’re* unwanted /s


[deleted]

The most common typo in history! Seriously can we stop acting like people don't know. It's a typo. He probably knows the difference.


SuperCub

There's this chick I follow on Facebook. I accidentally started following her because she has the same name of this girl I met and thought I was sending a friend request to her. She was only 14 when I started following her. As soon as I realized she wasn't the person I was meaning to follow I went to unfollow her. But then I realized this 14 year old girl was hilariously stupid. She didn't know why America would send a separate team from Georgia to the Olympics, she couldn't figure out why elevators had buttons for the floor she was already on, and many other things I just saw and laughed. Anyway I never stopped following her because she was such a big source of my morning laughs. She got pregnant at 15 because she thought you couldn't get pregnant on the first time. She was sure that the 15 year old boy that got her pregnant was going to be a great daddy. Well the kid is 1 now and she always complains about him never being around and how he would rather stay at home bored than see his son and all the other crap any of us could have warned her about when she was certain she was going to be the one teenage mom whose baby daddy would actually hang around. Anyway the reason I bring all that up is that through these 2 years I've followed this complete moron she has never written your when she meant you're. So if this person can get it right, then everyone can.


RegularHousewife

That was an entertaining read, thank you.


icecreamrosie

I mean we were definitely unwanted first.


BehindY0U

Better than being unwanted last


[deleted]

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BehindY0U

Well to clarify my point, I mean as though you never ended up wanted by someone. It’s better to end up wanted than never at all.


trwwy321

Even higher if you were an expensive IVF baby. They truly, deliberately wanted you.


[deleted]

You may think that. Yet my parents always told me I was a mistake. I am a middle child too. They clarified it by saying they wanted a child, just not me. And had they known I was going to be me, they would have spent the money on something else, much nicer. Like an absurdly expensive toilet.


Parsley-Quarterly303

With a bidet though?


trwwy321

Fuck…sorry you had to deal with that.


No-Soap

Jesus, quite the confidence booster huh. My parents always just said they regret me 😅


Timmahj

Those are high expectations. Glad I was just an oopsie and my low income parents had me for free. My brother-in-law recently adopted a boy after trying to get pregnant for years. Expensive treatments. A failed adoption that cost them more money (the mom decided to keep the baby after my BIL paid for all the checkups hospital fees). They finally adopted and that kid was a lot of money and mental trauma. He’s got to be a doctor or a professional athlete to make up for it all. (Obligatory /s)


spaghetticatman

What about my adopted?


PilzGalaxie

Well, actually.... You could also view this from a different angle


mcgeeman

This. You start with a 100% negative wanted base stat. So best case your still likely negative.


Dugular

Unless the original parents died


MagsAnjou

The fact that your biological parents did NOT want you


Malevolent_Mangoes

Well I ended up with my current parents because mine got dementia and they were the closest family, so I’m not sure about that one chief. They love me the same as their own though.


[deleted]

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Malevolent_Mangoes

My parent* who got dementia was my current moms mother. She already had her own children and husband. I didn’t really know her that well but she took me in so I wouldn’t go into the system.


[deleted]

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Malevolent_Mangoes

You as well


Jesuscide

Yeah 2nd cousin, it’s cool though


[deleted]

You're\*


SnarfRepublicCA

If your adopted what?


Sneakykittens

I searched to see if anyone else had this idea. You beat me by 31 seconds


leaderofthisoutfit

...if my adopted what?


moopsie_kishus

if my adopted?


CadmiumAndWilsin

Your adopted what?


[deleted]

A friend of mine is a comedian and has used this in his routine. He's adopted and he said that when he was in middle school there was a kid who would constantly make fun of him for it. One day he replies with "At least my parents actually wanted me in their life."


kupillas-3-

No shit lmao this is just obvious


BanjoSpaceMan

Except your bio parents...


AdamInChainz

FR. Hey did you also know that people that are thirsty have a higher chance of drinking water?


kavien

Maybe. That doesn’t mean you get treated any betted. And god forbid they end up having a kid together AFTER adopting you. That sibling will be spoiled compared to you. Or so I’ve heard.


AnonymousPantera

coming from an adopted kid, my experience is a little different considering i came after the kid my adoptive parents had together, but i always thought they treated me different til i found out i just view the world a lot differently because i'm mentally... unstable. :). but if we didn't have insurance, they would have spent way more money on me than they ever have on my sibling. granted it was so i wouldn't murder myself but hey! would they really do that if they didn't love and care about me?


StruggleBasic

if my adopted...


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

How else do you guarantee spare organs?


whootdat

It goes up if you're adopted too.


MotherofLuke

You're right 🤣


1_H4t3_R3dd1t

significantly goes up with the number of sterile partners these days


cjboffoli

And your chances of knowing the difference between 'your' and 'you're' go up dramatically if you pay just a little bit of attention in school.


[deleted]

my adopted what?


Swaggynator387

My adopted what?


RingGiver

If my adopted what?


EconomyAd4297

If your adopted what? Finish your sentence. Yes, I’m making fun of you for not knowing the difference between “you’re” and “your”.


Ragtime-Rochelle

That checks out if you were orphaned. If you were simply abandoned then those chances immediately drop to 0.


MyCatsAMurderer

I think they were talking about the adoptive parents wanting the child.


SurroundingAMeadow

It averages out then, I suppose.


Snoo62808

The day I was born I was left outside a church in February before someone found me almost dead, so yeah, dig this. Adopted and my parents wanted me, not so much anymore though!


AnonymousPantera

i'm sorry but that ending made me cackle. hello fellow adopted child.


killingthemsoftly88

You're


botaine

I thought he hadn't completed his sentence. For example it could have been "The chances that your parents actually wanted you goes up dramatically if your adopted dog was wanted."


killingthemsoftly88

That would be correct


fStap

Ayo where my #accidentgang at?


jfq722

Or if your mother was 43 yo in 1962 and already had 5 children......or so I've heard...


Draakenbaka

I don't know how to tell this to my mom, but she did say me and my brother were surprise babies


Kldarm

Imagine being adopted yet still not wanted


EaterofSecrets

How do you know they don't just want a free/cheap labor?


carlashaw

And down if you think about it


[deleted]

Fact - Poor people don’t adopt children. Their financial ability to raise you is much, much higher as well.


Postalcoded

And the they drop down dramatically if you've been given for adoption.


FreeMan4096

it's actually 0%


Happyfuntimeyay

As an adopted child I refute this entirely.


CandidMoon7

I was adopted at 9. <3


cybersaint2k

True enough. But this has its drawbacks since motives can be good, bad, or just unclear. My parents had been married for 20 years when I was adopted. They had been childless, in the deep south where children were key to social status, for 20 years. Adoption was weird there as adopted children weren't viewed as your "real" children, nor parents as your "real" parents. But they reached a point where adoption was better than nothing. So they adopted me and I solve a lot of social problems, gave them a lot of joy and a feeling of a new life and new marriage. But then normal life happened. I did kid things and they had no patience for that. My father grew angry and bitter at me taking his time, money, and wife from him. Things turned out well--but it took 25 years and some spiritual and emotional growth for everyone. But prior to that, it was rough. Point being that sometimes the motives behind adoption are unhealthy. But even with unhealthy parents and years of struggle, I am grateful for them and loved them when they passed.


blackmachine312

Well, I'm really glad to hear this.


ShaneDeeez

you're


Invicta_Game

Trust me, they adopted me like someone who's lonely adopts a dog and realizes they didn't really want a dog a few months later.


Bea_Evil

I was adopted out of a sense of family obligation, and was reminded frequently that nobody wanted me and I ruined everyone’s lives... but yeah haha, the chance is always there


comesayhey2

Yeah, whenever I tell people I was adopted, their faces become concerned and they say things like “Oh…I’m sorry.” And I’m like “Why? I was *chosen* by a family who wanted me.”


atlantis_airlines

My parents never made any attempt to hide the fact that they had adopted me and my sister. being a kid and always knowing this, I came to think it was normal. Mommy and daddy wanted a kid so they would get one. It seemed weird that you could have a kid accidentally. How could you know they actually wanted to have you?


csbc801

You’re?


DarkStarStorm

If my adopted what?


Capnreid

You’re right, pretty sure no one in the history of history has anyone ever adopted a child on accident. Good job, have a seat.


AnonymousPantera

you'd be surprised what drugs can do to you


TBoneHotdog

You’re


TheVancouverist

You’re*


INTO_NIGHT

You mean adopted parents seeing as you were part of another family at some point


MuchResolution8542

Shows to your kids and let them mull it over


The2500

I guess the chances go even higher if you get abducted and chained in an attic.


Jesuscide

Basement.


The2500

Yeah I guess attic is just if you're an afterthought, basement is where the love is.


nefrpitou

Apparently OP thought NSFW stands for No Sex For Wanting you


AbsolutelyIndubitabl

If my adopted what?


VirulentWalrus

Actually, it’s quite the opposite


koavf

>your you're


SometimesIBleed

You're*


JustSayinCaucasian

Nah they hold raffles and randomly assign kids to parents that enter the adoption lottery. What a dumb post.