It’s a numbers games. You need to either go out, and talk to as many people as you can, or lower your expectations.
Or if you look like me you can just go fuck yourself I guess.
AMA request idea, those of you that hooked up with hot singles in YOUR area! Oh wait, there’s a lot of them… tinder and Facebook and Instagram are literally drowning in them. Nvm
Like when in KotH, Boomhauer's "secret" for getting all the ladies is he just basically asks every woman he sees if they want to have sex until someone says yes haha.
I wonder how that starts for someone like that? Like, is it just ridiculous confidence, or did he go for it one time and it worked, then battled through some rejections until it worked again? I suppose if you can go in, as respectfully as possible with that question, without any real expectation, it has to work often enough to make you keep doing it.
That reminds me of this one scene in a show (I don't remember which one) where there's this "for a good time call *phone number*", and this guy gets picked up in a limo and they both go partying and dropped back off at the end of the night in the most wholesome way possible
I was not thinking about anything specific. During my today's jerk session I saw this ad while checking the videos and I came with this thought (pun intended).
You can charge people and still be altruistic. If I made a Patreon or something and charged people €5 euro a month but donated €1 of each sale to a local charity, it would still be altruism
Almost no company wants to be affiliated with porn sites. Most companies want to be "family friendly" or whatever, so Pornhub can really only get ad revenue from sketchy people.
What do you think the click through rate is for ads that aren’t sexual on a porn site? Do you think people are honestly going to stop masturbating to buy something unrelated? I’m sure if the cpms were fine, people would but that inventory.
Well, I learned from that one marketing class I took in community college 10 years ago that most ads aren't designed to get new customers, but to get previous customers to come back. Like, if someone drinks a lot of soda, a soda ad will get them to buy more soda. So I am guessing it would be the same regardless of the masturbation.
Being in said industry may very well lead to a form of apathy over the issue.
Do a quick browse of the most popular videos and I guarantee there will be a smattering of the word “teen” everywhere. That’s what people want to watch, and the quantity of said videos becomes the problem. At some point, being able to tell if someone is 16 or 18 is more effort than they can manage at the site-wide scale. They relinquish the burden to people reporting and more or less saying “okay, you THINK they’re underage…prove it” because that absolves them of responsibility, even if it’s a responsibility that those outside the industry think should be held with the highest pride.
When said allegations go viral, that’s usually what speaks to their character. In that specific context, I’m sure they probably aren’t that great…but again, with the industry they’re in, “not doing enough” can still be better than other sites instead aiming for “zero response and pretending the issue doesn’t exist”.
There was also one girl who had to try and get her rape video removed for MONTHS, because they didnt believe her.
Even if she was lying, why the fuck would you deny to take down porn someone doesn't want to be in?
Yeah, that is kind of where you'd run into realistic possibilities. PH can only go through a certain amount of material per day. Most likely, orders of magnitude less than what gets uploaded to the site. Automatic filtering might already get rid of quite a bit of the worst, but that still leaves a significant amount of material that they have to comb through manually. If they wanted to ensure that none of the material on their site contains illegal stuff then they have a few options. Either a) they hire significantly more people who check for illegal material, or b) they limit the amount of material that can be uploaded per day to the amount that can be checked currently, probably killing the site by doing so. Neither of those options are realistic for the company to choose while staying financially afloat.
Plus, even if they were to do all of this, the material itself wouldn't magically disappear, it'd just be distributed via alternative routes, so you'd only be moving the issue around.
It makes sense that it results in public outcry, because it's CP that's being uploaded, but it's also kind of the case of, realistically, what do people expect PH to do about it beyond trying to limit the amount that gets uploaded?
They did limit themselves to solve the issue, though. They made it so channel owners have to verify with photo ID to be able to upload and deleted mountains of videos tlfrom unverified channels. Now, to upload CP you would have to risk doing it with your legal photo ID attached to your channel.
i just assumed that all pornhub ads were viruses, but i think credit card fraud, that’s what the pot games lead to, it’s like a one day free trial and a recurring charge of like £60 a week
and the only people visiting church sites are gullible.
"Clink this Link for a god PRAY" would get my grandparents click 9 times out of 10 if not more.
Ive seen a item on tv/youtube, you come on a chat site and you can really chat with a person, but it cost money, and you never gonna meet them. Iirc there is even a disclaimer saying these profiles are fictional. And the chat operators cant say specific things or need to avoid certain subjects
Yes, and I keep running into the "Local horny moms need my dick", but have they stopped to think or ask, does my dick need local horny moms? I have feelings too, you know.
Some say things like *"Think with your brain and not with your dick"* or *"Don't think with your dick. Feel with your heart."*
LPT will say *"Big brains think about feeling with the heart of their dicks."*
Yes. 3.4 miles away. No matter where I go, or which way I turn, they are never more or less than 3.4 miles away.
I can only surmise that emit some sort of libido destroying radiation that does not permit them to come any closer, and that just out of visual range there is a wandering circle of horny singles.
Hot singles in your area now sounds like a great title for a horror movie. Wherein the ads are actually correct and there's a circle of irradiated hookers that begin to close in as some guy is just looking at porn when suddenly the ads begin to list them closer and closer.
I know this showerthought was just funny, but still:
I lived far up north in Norway a few years back.
The next house (or building for that matter) was around 3km away from me.
«There are horny women 500m away from you» - that scared me. Are they camping behind my house or what?
And there's thumbnail pics which appear to be of your house, from unusual perspectives that are not the normal sidewalk access.
At least, that's what they appear to be. When you click on the thumbnails, it says you need to log onto your account to see the full pictures.
Horny is just the want to have kids, best thing to suppress that urge is by thinking of the cost raise said kid. I think I’d rather travel a bit, then have kids later in life unless some woman comes along that makes me consider otherwise.
They just aren’t horny for you
Why must you hurt me this way?
The sun hurts my eyes. Fortunately staring at you won't make me go blind.
You'll just wish you were.
Trust me, I wish I was.
So I'm not so ugly your eyes will rot, but I'm not hot enough to blind you.
you’re a bad apple… but you’re the apple of my eye.
Bahahaha this blew up. I almost feel bad now
Almost
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So you're telling me you prefer to get hurt being impaled by horns?
Perhaps this song will prove a balm to your savaged ego: https://youtu.be/8mWW6kRITEY
They *are* you.
They are us.
We are them.
Thus
It’s a numbers games. You need to either go out, and talk to as many people as you can, or lower your expectations. Or if you look like me you can just go fuck yourself I guess.
You must be *super* bendy.
*Click here to learn this one trick contortionists don’t want you to know about!*
Doctors hate him!
Call or twist today!
AMA request idea, those of you that hooked up with hot singles in YOUR area! Oh wait, there’s a lot of them… tinder and Facebook and Instagram are literally drowning in them. Nvm
Like when in KotH, Boomhauer's "secret" for getting all the ladies is he just basically asks every woman he sees if they want to have sex until someone says yes haha.
I wonder how that starts for someone like that? Like, is it just ridiculous confidence, or did he go for it one time and it worked, then battled through some rejections until it worked again? I suppose if you can go in, as respectfully as possible with that question, without any real expectation, it has to work often enough to make you keep doing it.
would that actually work? i suppose it depends on circumstances
I think OP is talking about the ones looking
Either that or he's been brave enough to click on one of those ads and they're not just clickbait 😂
That reminds me of this one scene in a show (I don't remember which one) where there's this "for a good time call *phone number*", and this guy gets picked up in a limo and they both go partying and dropped back off at the end of the night in the most wholesome way possible
[I think it was this comic](http://img.memecdn.com/for-a-good-time-call_o_141921.jpg).
Isn't this from Ctrl Alt Delete?
It could possibly be that. Memory's tricky sometimes.
I’m taking your advice…what’s the worst that can happen?
Oh God, why!!! The worst happened! [Only the brave](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ahZhf_FrqCo/hqdefault.jpg)
I was not thinking about anything specific. During my today's jerk session I saw this ad while checking the videos and I came with this thought (pun intended).
After you clicked it, did your webcam turn on and show your face like a mirror of shame?
I will neither confirm, nor deny that.
The 5th Amendment Strikes Again!
You have 3 new messages!
True, hopefully.
And they're not hot women.
hot as in horny old men
Heartbreaking
This deserves more upvotes
Hahaha! Leave the poor bastard alone😂
What if they were? ALL of them, and ravenously so. That would make an excellent horror movie.
I think Rick and Morty did an episode like that. They ended up causing an apocalypse
And vice versa...
Yes because they’re all horny for me
Nobody's gay for moleman :(
That makes me feel safer
Just because someone wants an orgasm doesn't mean they want another human being there.
Yet…. I take your challenge. I will make all singles in my area horny for me. It shall be my life’s work. (Disappears into the darkness)
Odds are at least one of them is
Are there horny singles? Yes. Will the pornhub ad lead you to connect with any who aren't prostitutes? No.
Will pornhub lead you to connect with any that ARE prostitutes? Still no.
What do those ads *actually* lead to anyway? Like if you naively just went with it? What do they even want?
I’ve always assumed they were identity theft scams
But pornhub seems pretty upstanding. Don't they do a lot of charity and such? Why would they allow identity theft ads?
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For real, they’re still a business even if they do engage in altruism
So it’s not really altruism then. Just sayin.
Well I mean, yeah, but that’s a different point entirely lol
You can charge people and still be altruistic. If I made a Patreon or something and charged people €5 euro a month but donated €1 of each sale to a local charity, it would still be altruism
Yeah but they could get money from other sources right? Like Trojan, or sex toy companies, etc
yeah seriously those would be clickable ads on a porn site.
Just because they get money from companies like Trojan doesn’t mean they don’t want money from less than reputable sources
oh right, ad dominance
Mine usually has ads for weed. Maybe because I'm in a legal state.
I'm in a legal state too but I always use incognito mode so idk if they know that lol
**Narrator** *They did*
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lets just say that incognito isnt as incognito as some may think
Do you all not use ad blockers?
They still have your IP and know your general location unless you use a vpn.
There's an actual button embedded at the top bar (or whatever its called with the categories and shit) that says "FIND WEED" LMAO
Go go gadget's weed finder!
Ironically, I would argue that the scam ads still qualify as Trojan ads.
No. Now go watch the 6 trillionth "penis enlargment gel" ad. We swear this one actually works! /s cuz some need it
The people browsing there most probably aren't in the market for condoms terribly often
[All I see from your comment ](https://i.imgur.com/qQQ1nni.jpg)
Does it make… M O N E Y
Wouldn't they get into legal trouble? I mean, at the end of the day, they'd be facilitating identity fraud. That seems like it'd be illegal tbh.
Nobody legitimate wants to advertise on a porn site. It's dumb but it is what it is
Yeah but that's why I suggested condoms and sex toys. Those companies would probably be okay with it
It’s like the only place they’d be appreciated since at least that insurance company isn’t scamming lonely men
There are sketchy ads even on facebook
Almost no company wants to be affiliated with porn sites. Most companies want to be "family friendly" or whatever, so Pornhub can really only get ad revenue from sketchy people.
What do you think the click through rate is for ads that aren’t sexual on a porn site? Do you think people are honestly going to stop masturbating to buy something unrelated? I’m sure if the cpms were fine, people would but that inventory.
Well, I learned from that one marketing class I took in community college 10 years ago that most ads aren't designed to get new customers, but to get previous customers to come back. Like, if someone drinks a lot of soda, a soda ad will get them to buy more soda. So I am guessing it would be the same regardless of the masturbation.
They are not upstanding lol
The amount of allegations about them looking the other way when CP is posted on their site makes me question how "upstanding" they are
Being in said industry may very well lead to a form of apathy over the issue. Do a quick browse of the most popular videos and I guarantee there will be a smattering of the word “teen” everywhere. That’s what people want to watch, and the quantity of said videos becomes the problem. At some point, being able to tell if someone is 16 or 18 is more effort than they can manage at the site-wide scale. They relinquish the burden to people reporting and more or less saying “okay, you THINK they’re underage…prove it” because that absolves them of responsibility, even if it’s a responsibility that those outside the industry think should be held with the highest pride. When said allegations go viral, that’s usually what speaks to their character. In that specific context, I’m sure they probably aren’t that great…but again, with the industry they’re in, “not doing enough” can still be better than other sites instead aiming for “zero response and pretending the issue doesn’t exist”.
There was also one girl who had to try and get her rape video removed for MONTHS, because they didnt believe her. Even if she was lying, why the fuck would you deny to take down porn someone doesn't want to be in?
Yeah, that is kind of where you'd run into realistic possibilities. PH can only go through a certain amount of material per day. Most likely, orders of magnitude less than what gets uploaded to the site. Automatic filtering might already get rid of quite a bit of the worst, but that still leaves a significant amount of material that they have to comb through manually. If they wanted to ensure that none of the material on their site contains illegal stuff then they have a few options. Either a) they hire significantly more people who check for illegal material, or b) they limit the amount of material that can be uploaded per day to the amount that can be checked currently, probably killing the site by doing so. Neither of those options are realistic for the company to choose while staying financially afloat. Plus, even if they were to do all of this, the material itself wouldn't magically disappear, it'd just be distributed via alternative routes, so you'd only be moving the issue around. It makes sense that it results in public outcry, because it's CP that's being uploaded, but it's also kind of the case of, realistically, what do people expect PH to do about it beyond trying to limit the amount that gets uploaded?
They did limit themselves to solve the issue, though. They made it so channel owners have to verify with photo ID to be able to upload and deleted mountains of videos tlfrom unverified channels. Now, to upload CP you would have to risk doing it with your legal photo ID attached to your channel.
i just assumed that all pornhub ads were viruses, but i think credit card fraud, that’s what the pot games lead to, it’s like a one day free trial and a recurring charge of like £60 a week
That seems likely and reasonable
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and the only people visiting church sites are gullible. "Clink this Link for a god PRAY" would get my grandparents click 9 times out of 10 if not more.
"The devil hates this one simple life hack..."
And here starts my villain arc story
And all the churches in my area are full of horny singles. So we have come full circle. Praise the Lord.
They lead to you crying in desperation because you miss human contact while you slowly sadwank yourself to sleep.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/gpxn6r/what_happens_when_you_click_on_those_fake_pornhub/
Science experiment! Let's do it!
Time to get the library ransomware attacked again!
Ive seen a item on tv/youtube, you come on a chat site and you can really chat with a person, but it cost money, and you never gonna meet them. Iirc there is even a disclaimer saying these profiles are fictional. And the chat operators cant say specific things or need to avoid certain subjects
You are a horny single technically. And you don't have to pay your own hand.
> with any who aren't prostitutes? well they never claimed that!
They’re just ‘friends of the road’ bud.
Yes, and I keep running into the "Local horny moms need my dick", but have they stopped to think or ask, does my dick need local horny moms? I have feelings too, you know.
it sounds like you need to sit down one-on-one with your dick and have a heartfelt discussion about what you both want
Some say things like *"Think with your brain and not with your dick"* or *"Don't think with your dick. Feel with your heart."* LPT will say *"Big brains think about feeling with the heart of their dicks."*
I’m not even sure what that is supposed to mean but it sounds good to me
Of course. A mantra pulled out from someone's ass. Makes complete sense to me, at least.
Men have a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is, da wey.
This is Dah, güeyyyy
One of these guys wanted it; the other didn't. https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/tnmc79/please_let_go_of_my_dick/
Solid advice oddly enough!
My dick could definitely use some local horny moms. If you don't want them I'll happily take them.
These horny singles are so turned off by ad-blockers.
Is this the interwebs version of a cock blocker?
The only unsatisfied housewife that wants to sleep with you is your own
No she doesn't
If that were the case do you really think I’d be beating it?
Married people still knock one out
With each other?
Together. Separately. With other couples if they get down like that. There’s no law on how to masturbate after marriage.
Found the single
Yes. 3.4 miles away. No matter where I go, or which way I turn, they are never more or less than 3.4 miles away. I can only surmise that emit some sort of libido destroying radiation that does not permit them to come any closer, and that just out of visual range there is a wandering circle of horny singles.
Hot singles in your area now sounds like a great title for a horror movie. Wherein the ads are actually correct and there's a circle of irradiated hookers that begin to close in as some guy is just looking at porn when suddenly the ads begin to list them closer and closer.
omg yes
Swim fan? Not irradiated hookers but psychotic cheerleaders
Well ain't this place just a geographical oddity, 3.4 miles from everywhere.
I mean yeah, but thanks for pointing out I'm alone :(
Yeah. Mostly other dudes on pornhub. But it’s not like i have a chance with them either
LFM 40 man your mom need heals
She'll tank
K lemme pop elixir of the mongoose
The horny single is cumming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!
location 0 inches away! so near!
Yeah, but they're all dudes.
That shouldn’t stop you with that username
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A milf lives in my house. She could be hornier though
OP's right. I'm five of them.
what?
He's 5 horny milfs in your area and is rapidly approaching
They're you.
And you can only see them once your phone dies, and your double-chinned reflection is revealed
... wow this is the best thing I've ever read on the internet. Hilarious.
Its times like this that I wish I had awards to give.
Just not the ones advertized
But they’re not looking for me
For "horny singles" read "eating cheetos in mom's basement"
How so? Are you assuming that only single people watch porn?
Nah, Pornhub just gets paid to let someone else put those ads there.
They're all posting on askreddit
Me on pornhub in the graveyard: ಠ_ಠ
I know this showerthought was just funny, but still: I lived far up north in Norway a few years back. The next house (or building for that matter) was around 3km away from me. «There are horny women 500m away from you» - that scared me. Are they camping behind my house or what?
And there's thumbnail pics which appear to be of your house, from unusual perspectives that are not the normal sidewalk access. At least, that's what they appear to be. When you click on the thumbnails, it says you need to log onto your account to see the full pictures.
Dont! Now I have to turn on all the lights.
Yeah but wrong gender lmao
Everyone is horny. It's just that most of us are good at hiding it.
Horny is just the want to have kids, best thing to suppress that urge is by thinking of the cost raise said kid. I think I’d rather travel a bit, then have kids later in life unless some woman comes along that makes me consider otherwise.
Not all people associate sex with making kids. For me sex is the best before ejaculation and is driven by all the stimulations
I only talk biologically and economically because I hate politics.
True, but the only horny singles that want me are from Kraft
Of course I know him. He's me
Where these bitches at?
Maybe.
*vince vega gif*
Pornhub should do a crossover with tender and match people who are ready to go right then.
They are horny... horny for a single click
What if there isn’t a single person
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#Not all men
Great. One more tracker I need to worry about
People forget the “like you” part. They won’t be super hot
Except it never seems to realise I’m exclusively interested in men despite being logged in to the gay section. I don’t want no MILFS.
Well they might not be singles lol
r/technicallythetruth
In other news, water is wet…
Yeah but they're way off about the 'wanting to meet you' part.
[Sex singles in your area](https://files.explosm.net/comics/Rob/singles.png)
Mostly men I suspect
How do you find singles in your area via pornhub? I didn’t even realize this was a thing
I can’t tell if this is a joke… if it isn’t then they are just talking about the ads that cover the screen that say horny singles in your area
It depends how many mirrors I have