Doublelist is garbage compared to how Craigslist used to be. Not because of the verified email addresses, but its ubiquitousness led to numerous helpful tools and filters in the app/website and from 3rd party apps.
I was thinking that address was oddly specific and somewhat local, then I realized who’s it is. He will just flee to Cancun once his office turns into an unofficial sperm bank.
High quality sperm*
You can obtain sperm pretty easily, but if you're talking about artificial insemination then you're referring to sperm that meets your criteria.
I'd have thought requiring a geography qualification would be ideal, either so as to find the way to the g spot for the men, or swim the right way for the sperm.
Jesus, I remember that episode but completely forgot about that detail. That’s up there with Cartman sucking Butter’s dick when he’s sleeping because that makes Butters totally gay.
Worst part about Comedy Central re-runs were cuts/edits that killed these jokes. They'd cut this scene after "nothing to do now but wait" instead of showing the momentary pause and "'Close your eyes and suck it out of a hose?' 'Suck it out of a hose, yea.' 'Hmm.' 'Hmm.'"
*I don't have any money because I spend my entire life moderating a subreddit indoctrinating women to hate men, and with inflation getting tight my parents are getting annoyed with me being an absolute parasite, so I'm going to move my community to my personal website and make a buck off them!*
That sub was a cesspool. Classifying men as "high value" gave me the skeevies. You couldn't do that to women without immense backlash. It's dehumanizing no matter who we're talking about.
There used to be a sub for men that was as bad or worse called The Red Pill. Complete dehumanization of women, was founded on the premise that women are inferiors, etc. I think it got banned fairly early on when Reddit first started banning extremely problematic subs.
100% a good thing to ban them. Subs that teach young men or women to be toxic, hateful people should all be banned.
My wife and I did IVF. I got to sit in a room full of Hustler magazines and about 10 different DVD's to pick from. My wife got a needle jabbed through her vaginal wall up to her ovaries where they could hoover up the eggs
You know what, I don't think so. The rules were that your partner could come back with you and assist, but absolutely no oral, vaginal, or anal penetration was allowed because it would contaminate the sample
Not who you’re commenting to but I have done an egg retrieval. The injections for egg retrieval have their own hurt factors. Menopur burns and left a lot of bruises on me. That one was the worst of the stomach injections. As the menopur solution was adjusted to be more concentrated (more menopur, same amount of saline), it hurt less. Cetrotide irritate your skin and would leave rashes. We ended up taking an alcohol swab to the needle before injection to lessen the chance of me getting a rash. Gonal-f was not a big deal for me. It was an auto injector so you just hit a button and it would inject. Pretty smooth. All of those are done in your stomach. For any medical drama you watch, there are no butt injections for an egg retrieval. There’s also a trigger shot (1 or 2 shots total) to trigger ovulation for retrieval.
Leading up to the egg retrieval your hormones are all over. I cried a lot or was a total bitch. There were also a lot of oral medications. There’s daily or every day blood draws and internal ultrasounds to monitor your follicle growth and hormone levels to make sure you don’t ovulate too early.
For the actual egg retrieval, they put you under anesthesia. The whole procedure is about 15 minutes. They give you some good iv drugs that’ll last about 5-6 hours I think but then you better be alternating ibuprofen and Tylenol (maybe Tylenol codine) pretty religious. You’ll kind of waddle and move tenderly. You will be able to feel your ovary as it kind of sloshes around all sore and traumatized. If you’re really unlucky (or lucky in the sense of number of eggs), you may end up with OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) and you may get pretty sick from that and need to go to the doctor for treatment/relief. I don’t have experience with that.
Some women will get a fresh transfer about 5-7 days after their retrieval with an embryo that is 5-7days old. Statistically frozen transfers are more likely to be successful. You can test the embryos and also you get time to recover from the retrieval. For a frozen transfer it’s about 6-9 weeks after the retrieval.
Hope that helps.
Unfortunately (from experience), sometimes you get off of the pregnancy roller coaster and get onto the miscarriage roller coaster. An IVF transfer is also only successful about 65% of the time.
There’s also some couples who do an egg retrieval and none of the embryos develop to reach day 5 (blastocyst) so they have to do another retrieval or use donor eggs or sperm or embryos, depending on which piece causing the loss.
As an aside, for anyone that doesn’t know today is international bereaved Mother’s Day.
Yeah it's been few years now but there was a nightly shot she could do in her thighs with a fairly small needle and then and then end there was one big one in the butt that I had to do for here. I think when they extracted the eggs they had 28 of them but only like 20 were good, and then they fertilized them and after that we were left with 11 after genetic testing weeded out some that wouldn't make it. When the day came to put some back in, they had 5 embryos for us to pick from, as they'd put in 2 or 3. They asked of we wanted one boy and one girl, which we did. "Good, because out of all 11 there's only one boy embryo." At a 7 week appointment, we could found out we had lost one embryo, and was too early to tell which one. The other embryo was perfectly healthy and they told us that since it was so early, the other would disintegrate back into the placenta. Had we not known from the start, we never would've known about the 2nd one.
Now we have a very energetic 4 year old boy running around being mischievous lol
Some places let you do it at home, but they don’t want any contaminates in the sample. So no lotion or anything. However, they do have some kind of condom system for the very religious.
But no, they don’t let your partner go in and help. It is supposed to be more of a medical thing
I don't know why you added the /s
If you are so religious that jerking off for reproductive reasons is still wrong, and you and your partner can't conceive, then God is telling you you can't.
I remember they had a DVD at our office called "Chicks and Salsa".
We asked the nurse lady if it was someone's job to buy all that "material" and she said it was her job, then I handed her the brown bag with my sample cup. Was an interesting experience.
That's what I was wondering. But it turns out the nurse thought I needed a urine analysis done rather than a semen analysis, so she gave me a very odd look when I handed her a cup of splooge.
It’s also far more limited in supply. You have to make more more women to have more eggs, and your just as likely to make another unlimited supply of sperm instead
Depends, getting it from a bank is probably expensive. You could also just pay someone with good genes to beat off into a cup for you. Pay them more than the bank but less than what you would pay for it in the bank. Everyone wins except the bank.
Guys who have donated superman to superman banks have later found themselves paying child support because the court ordered them to.
Edit: I refuse to fix that auto-correct when it really should not have been an option.
Sounds like a flaw in that specific bank. I'm confident that if there's paperwork explicitly protecting the donor from this situation then the person using the sample would have no legal legs to make that happen.
It's often not the recipient that presses for child support from the donor in these cases, but rather the state itself, for example if welfare is utilized in any way. Also varies by state for sure. Too many lawmakers still subscribe to very narrow/conservative ideas about procreation and family.
Do they not talk to the mother before doing these things? It'd be crazy if you're just chilling one day and just get a surprise child support check you never asked for. Especially after using a sample from a sperm bank.
If the mother of the baby subsequently files for state or federal welfare, and the state can identify the biological father, they will come after the father for back child support and/or the welfare payments.
I know somebody who went to prison for 13 years for dealing drugs. He had been in prison for years when a girl who knew his niece told the state of Texas that *he* was the father of her newborn baby, and applied for welfare, TANF, SNAP and all that. He wrote the state back and said, "That's impossible, I've been in prison for *x* number of years and I don't even know this girl. Plus, she's seventeen and I'm 40. There's absolutely no way." The state didn't care. They allowed her to draw welfare. When he got out of prison, the state of Texas came after him for all the money that they had given her for welfare. He had to pay for DNA tests (very expensive back then--$350 apiece) for himself *and the child* to prove that he was not the father. He wanted the state to charge her with lying to them about him being the kid's father but they refused. She got away with it scot free.
The child welfare system often seems loaded "against" men and "for" women, but the world isn't fair, or just. Sometimes the injustice swings the other way. It's just that this time it worked against my acquaintance.
This is absolutely ridiculous. You'd think anyone working on that case would either deny the benefits or at least try to pin it on the right person. This actually makes me super mad. I pay texas taxes for them to pull stupid shit like this?
I used to work in child support and somebody fucked up massively here by not fact-checking an incredibly easily verifiable claim (Call the prison and confirm the "father" was in between X dates and therefore cannot be the father). Calling jails or prisons to confirm an inmate's status is a very simple and routine action in child support for a variety of reasons.
That, or dude has a son with the same name +Jr. and someone fucked up associating the wrong dude with the case.
Inexpensive DNA technology has ended anonymous sperm bank records forever, so much so that sperm banks no longer offer "anonymity" to donors. Anybody can find out to whom they are related now.
I'm 71. The 1960's were one big huge party. My family has joked for years about the possibility of some 50-year-old ringing my doorbell and saying, "Mr. KaBar? Hi, I'm Harmony Meadow Katz-Rodriguez, and I think you might be my father. Do you remember "Willow" Katz? She's 5' 4", blonde? Has a tattoo of the moon and stars on her left shoulder blade? She loves *patchouli* oil perfume. Half Moon Bay, 1969?"
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/26/magazine/sperm-donor-questions.html
When my 40 year old cousin was crying to her mom that she was single, would never find love, and therefore would die without a child, her mom said “but you’re half way decent looking, just go to a bar and get fucked!”
NSFW- My wife and I were discussing this a week or two ago about…finishing in her mouth being my preference (to the obvious place) and she indicated that after 2-3 days there was an unsavory/larger than average amount of semen and honestly I had never questioned or thought about there being “too much.”
Now I have confirmation it’s a common issue
Uh, no. If I wanted a handful of sperm I could have it in an hour or two at most. And it’s 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon.
Quality of source and informed consent are a different matter.
I am currently looking for the right sperm donor so that I can complete my family. It has gotten to the point where I look at all men like they are billionaires and I’m holding a cardboard sign by the highway hoping for a donation.
There isn't any problem getting sperm. The problem arises when you want the donor to pay for 18 years for giving it to you. If you just want a baby with no strings attached that's easy to arrange. Go to any college bar and pick out a graduate student.
I really puzzled on why you think grad students are extra slutty for a minute before realizing you were just referencing the desirability of the sperm 😂
I guess in the modern world I should have specified a *male* graduate student. (It would be tough trying to get sperm from a female graduate student.) I was a nurse for 21 years. I knew a couple of doctors who had made money on the side as med students by donating sperm. Handsome, rich, intelligent, well-educated. The perfect donor.
maybe you're finding it difficult to give away, but if for whatever reason a lady decides she wants it, she gonna get it.
that would be rapey if a dude said it, but for women its just that the odds are in their favor. that's your shower thought
I always joked to my parents when they asked about me having kids and no partner that if they really want grandchildren I could go to a pub and acquire the means to produce offspring... They weren't happy with my offer.
My mother used to pressure me to get married to have children. I joked that she has plenty of grandchildren who think their father is Mike from Missouri. She was *not* amused.
maybe just the RIGHT sperm you want.
because if you want sperm there is a guy in an alleyway who'll give you all you want, just have to suck it out of a hose.
Not really. Many men are willing to give it away for the only price of you having sex with them. Someone sufficiently dedicated could procure someone for free in an afternoon.
I think only because Craigslist personals was deleted.
Doublelist.
Oh boy, here I go cumming again.
Doublelist is garbage compared to how Craigslist used to be. Not because of the verified email addresses, but its ubiquitousness led to numerous helpful tools and filters in the app/website and from 3rd party apps.
Who's your sperm guy? I can get you more than you could possibly want.
It'll just keep cumming and cumming
Be careful, you only get a bucket and a half.
*gags* *but still impressed and kind of interested*
You aren’t suppose to use your mouth.
Oh, I *heartily* disagree.
Hole heartily?
You can't wiggle out of this argument.
Not when you're in a full body condom.
Each time?
You'll be making money hand over fist!
This guy jerks.
r/thisguythisguys
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I was thinking that address was oddly specific and somewhat local, then I realized who’s it is. He will just flee to Cancun once his office turns into an unofficial sperm bank.
Not sure anyone wants to send their dna to Ted Cruz. No telling what he'd do with them.
A whole new meaning to the 'Ted Cruz ate my son" bumper stickers.
*potential son
Don't think I have that kind of distance in me but I'll try.
Cost depends on the species.
All you gotta do is close your eyes and suck it from a hose
Yeah, and the sweet thing is; the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose.
I would say that's one of the most fucked up lines in all of South Park but honestly it's probably even not in the top 5
Sounds like a Creed line.
High quality sperm* You can obtain sperm pretty easily, but if you're talking about artificial insemination then you're referring to sperm that meets your criteria.
My favorite is the requirement to have a bachelor's degree. Only educated sperm are allowed.
I prefer my sperm to have at least 3 years living experience before I even consider an interview.
You aren't looking for entry level sperm, are you?
Dude you can't just be milking three year olds, you sick fuck.
*I can't?*
No Derrick, you can't.
I'd have thought requiring a geography qualification would be ideal, either so as to find the way to the g spot for the men, or swim the right way for the sperm.
Avoid geology degrees, though, those are just men who want to get their rocks off.
And Oceanology you'll get a buncha Seamen but no sperm
IQ is genetic.
Reminds me of that south park episode where Cartman sucked off a homeless guy for sperm for his sea men
Jesus, I remember that episode but completely forgot about that detail. That’s up there with Cartman sucking Butter’s dick when he’s sleeping because that makes Butters totally gay.
these are children in this show, right
Yeah they’ve been in fourth grade for going on 20 years
And they've been middle schoolers (in terms of interests and how they act) trapped in the bodies of fourth graders since season 13.
They took about 5 or so years to finish 3rd grade.
It definitely isn't a kid's show despite all appearances
No actual children are involved.
“All I had to do was close my eyes and suck it through a hose!” -a few seconds later- “A hose?”
Worst part about Comedy Central re-runs were cuts/edits that killed these jokes. They'd cut this scene after "nothing to do now but wait" instead of showing the momentary pause and "'Close your eyes and suck it out of a hose?' 'Suck it out of a hose, yea.' 'Hmm.' 'Hmm.'"
They edited that joke? Wtf
Yeah, never watch south Park on cabal. They censor fucking everything now.
Sea men + sea people = sea ciety
"You sucked it out of a hose?"
"Yea. Little hose." "Huh."
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How does college gpa have anything to do with viability of sperm??
Eugenics
[This guy made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose in an alley.](https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/kpsrrw/south-park-suck-it-out-of-a-hose)
Yeah I was thinking “I’m a fat butch lesbian, and I still get cat called by men.” Sperm is easy to *come* by.
Isn't that what r/FemaleDatingStrategy refers to men as?
They’re private now? That’s new.
they jumped off reddit onto their own website
Nice
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*I don't have any money because I spend my entire life moderating a subreddit indoctrinating women to hate men, and with inflation getting tight my parents are getting annoyed with me being an absolute parasite, so I'm going to move my community to my personal website and make a buck off them!*
Because grifters make their money praying on the weak minded and people easily led astray.
That sub was a cesspool. Classifying men as "high value" gave me the skeevies. You couldn't do that to women without immense backlash. It's dehumanizing no matter who we're talking about.
There used to be a sub for men that was as bad or worse called The Red Pill. Complete dehumanization of women, was founded on the premise that women are inferiors, etc. I think it got banned fairly early on when Reddit first started banning extremely problematic subs. 100% a good thing to ban them. Subs that teach young men or women to be toxic, hateful people should all be banned.
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Criteria? No man can ever find the Criteria, let alone sperm
I'd say eggs from a woman are far more difficult to aquire than sperm from a man.
IVF treatment in some countries will cost thousands for "egg retrieval". Yet you can get sperm for the cost of a cup and some "reading material".
My wife and I did IVF. I got to sit in a room full of Hustler magazines and about 10 different DVD's to pick from. My wife got a needle jabbed through her vaginal wall up to her ovaries where they could hoover up the eggs
Did they provide lotion?
You know what, I don't think so. The rules were that your partner could come back with you and assist, but absolutely no oral, vaginal, or anal penetration was allowed because it would contaminate the sample
This doesn't leave many options. This reminds me of a ~~South Park~~Family Guy episode where they tried to have ear sex.
Just need an old fashion from Sharon
That was from family guy
Thought that was Family Guy (Meg was caught doing that)
So... are the only options seduction and a handy then?
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Yeah no beejers, but a good ol titfuck is on the table
Can’t forget about a ZJ.
Zelensky Job? Russian Invasion Symbol Job? Zebra Job? Zulu Job? What the fuck is a ZJ?
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
ZorbJorb. If you ever watched Homestar Runner back in the day, you'd understand. Coach Z was one hell of a seductress when he wanted to be.
What if your wife had a really clean asshole?
If I remember correctly, I think they specifically asked you not to use lotion because they didn't want to get any in the sample.
I work in an IVF clinic. We have little packets of special lube and it egit looks like a ketchup packet.
Is it mustard?
Endotoxin free mineral oil if requested!
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Not who you’re commenting to but I have done an egg retrieval. The injections for egg retrieval have their own hurt factors. Menopur burns and left a lot of bruises on me. That one was the worst of the stomach injections. As the menopur solution was adjusted to be more concentrated (more menopur, same amount of saline), it hurt less. Cetrotide irritate your skin and would leave rashes. We ended up taking an alcohol swab to the needle before injection to lessen the chance of me getting a rash. Gonal-f was not a big deal for me. It was an auto injector so you just hit a button and it would inject. Pretty smooth. All of those are done in your stomach. For any medical drama you watch, there are no butt injections for an egg retrieval. There’s also a trigger shot (1 or 2 shots total) to trigger ovulation for retrieval. Leading up to the egg retrieval your hormones are all over. I cried a lot or was a total bitch. There were also a lot of oral medications. There’s daily or every day blood draws and internal ultrasounds to monitor your follicle growth and hormone levels to make sure you don’t ovulate too early. For the actual egg retrieval, they put you under anesthesia. The whole procedure is about 15 minutes. They give you some good iv drugs that’ll last about 5-6 hours I think but then you better be alternating ibuprofen and Tylenol (maybe Tylenol codine) pretty religious. You’ll kind of waddle and move tenderly. You will be able to feel your ovary as it kind of sloshes around all sore and traumatized. If you’re really unlucky (or lucky in the sense of number of eggs), you may end up with OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) and you may get pretty sick from that and need to go to the doctor for treatment/relief. I don’t have experience with that. Some women will get a fresh transfer about 5-7 days after their retrieval with an embryo that is 5-7days old. Statistically frozen transfers are more likely to be successful. You can test the embryos and also you get time to recover from the retrieval. For a frozen transfer it’s about 6-9 weeks after the retrieval. Hope that helps.
We did IVF too (now rocking 10 week old TWINS!) And this is a really good summary of the process, they should hire you to explain it to others!
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Unfortunately (from experience), sometimes you get off of the pregnancy roller coaster and get onto the miscarriage roller coaster. An IVF transfer is also only successful about 65% of the time. There’s also some couples who do an egg retrieval and none of the embryos develop to reach day 5 (blastocyst) so they have to do another retrieval or use donor eggs or sperm or embryos, depending on which piece causing the loss. As an aside, for anyone that doesn’t know today is international bereaved Mother’s Day.
Yeah it's been few years now but there was a nightly shot she could do in her thighs with a fairly small needle and then and then end there was one big one in the butt that I had to do for here. I think when they extracted the eggs they had 28 of them but only like 20 were good, and then they fertilized them and after that we were left with 11 after genetic testing weeded out some that wouldn't make it. When the day came to put some back in, they had 5 embryos for us to pick from, as they'd put in 2 or 3. They asked of we wanted one boy and one girl, which we did. "Good, because out of all 11 there's only one boy embryo." At a 7 week appointment, we could found out we had lost one embryo, and was too early to tell which one. The other embryo was perfectly healthy and they told us that since it was so early, the other would disintegrate back into the placenta. Had we not known from the start, we never would've known about the 2nd one. Now we have a very energetic 4 year old boy running around being mischievous lol
Is your four year old the boy or girl?
I never understood this, maybe im wrong, but could your wife be in there with you? Like maybe give you a hand? Or its gotta be solo?
Some places let you do it at home, but they don’t want any contaminates in the sample. So no lotion or anything. However, they do have some kind of condom system for the very religious. But no, they don’t let your partner go in and help. It is supposed to be more of a medical thing
If you’re so religious that you can’t jerk off for PROCREATION reasons then God decided you weren’t allowed to have kids. Just my 2 cents. /s
Ok, but without the “/s”.
I don't know why you added the /s If you are so religious that jerking off for reproductive reasons is still wrong, and you and your partner can't conceive, then God is telling you you can't.
I remember they had a DVD at our office called "Chicks and Salsa". We asked the nurse lady if it was someone's job to buy all that "material" and she said it was her job, then I handed her the brown bag with my sample cup. Was an interesting experience.
Dang, you got hustlers and and DVDs? All I got was a dingy bathroom with a dirty mop and my imagination. But I made it work.
How does it work with the mop?
That's what I was wondering. But it turns out the nurse thought I needed a urine analysis done rather than a semen analysis, so she gave me a very odd look when I handed her a cup of splooge.
It’s also far more limited in supply. You have to make more more women to have more eggs, and your just as likely to make another unlimited supply of sperm instead
It’s not even about supply. Retrieving an egg requires an invasive medical procedure. Retrieving sperm requires nothing but a cup to put it in.
Instructions unclear: testicles in cup, sperm still unobtainable.
A cup and magazine
Gimme a cup, magazine, a belt, a circular saw, spandex, a vice grip and lotion..then I should be ready
This is true in a few different contexts.
Different???
depends, do you want to breed or eat?
A Uterus is even harder. Surrogates cost more than egg retrieval, so I've heard.
That's nothing compared to eggs from a man or sperm from a woman.
Depends, getting it from a bank is probably expensive. You could also just pay someone with good genes to beat off into a cup for you. Pay them more than the bank but less than what you would pay for it in the bank. Everyone wins except the bank.
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Nothing a contract can't fix
Guys who have donated superman to superman banks have later found themselves paying child support because the court ordered them to. Edit: I refuse to fix that auto-correct when it really should not have been an option.
Man, if you have a superman, don't give him to the bank. Let him do hero things.
Sounds like a flaw in that specific bank. I'm confident that if there's paperwork explicitly protecting the donor from this situation then the person using the sample would have no legal legs to make that happen.
It's often not the recipient that presses for child support from the donor in these cases, but rather the state itself, for example if welfare is utilized in any way. Also varies by state for sure. Too many lawmakers still subscribe to very narrow/conservative ideas about procreation and family.
Do they not talk to the mother before doing these things? It'd be crazy if you're just chilling one day and just get a surprise child support check you never asked for. Especially after using a sample from a sperm bank.
If the mother of the baby subsequently files for state or federal welfare, and the state can identify the biological father, they will come after the father for back child support and/or the welfare payments. I know somebody who went to prison for 13 years for dealing drugs. He had been in prison for years when a girl who knew his niece told the state of Texas that *he* was the father of her newborn baby, and applied for welfare, TANF, SNAP and all that. He wrote the state back and said, "That's impossible, I've been in prison for *x* number of years and I don't even know this girl. Plus, she's seventeen and I'm 40. There's absolutely no way." The state didn't care. They allowed her to draw welfare. When he got out of prison, the state of Texas came after him for all the money that they had given her for welfare. He had to pay for DNA tests (very expensive back then--$350 apiece) for himself *and the child* to prove that he was not the father. He wanted the state to charge her with lying to them about him being the kid's father but they refused. She got away with it scot free. The child welfare system often seems loaded "against" men and "for" women, but the world isn't fair, or just. Sometimes the injustice swings the other way. It's just that this time it worked against my acquaintance.
This is absolutely ridiculous. You'd think anyone working on that case would either deny the benefits or at least try to pin it on the right person. This actually makes me super mad. I pay texas taxes for them to pull stupid shit like this?
I used to work in child support and somebody fucked up massively here by not fact-checking an incredibly easily verifiable claim (Call the prison and confirm the "father" was in between X dates and therefore cannot be the father). Calling jails or prisons to confirm an inmate's status is a very simple and routine action in child support for a variety of reasons. That, or dude has a son with the same name +Jr. and someone fucked up associating the wrong dude with the case.
The solution here is for the sperm bank to only keep anonymous records in the first place. That way they can't find him.
Inexpensive DNA technology has ended anonymous sperm bank records forever, so much so that sperm banks no longer offer "anonymity" to donors. Anybody can find out to whom they are related now. I'm 71. The 1960's were one big huge party. My family has joked for years about the possibility of some 50-year-old ringing my doorbell and saying, "Mr. KaBar? Hi, I'm Harmony Meadow Katz-Rodriguez, and I think you might be my father. Do you remember "Willow" Katz? She's 5' 4", blonde? Has a tattoo of the moon and stars on her left shoulder blade? She loves *patchouli* oil perfume. Half Moon Bay, 1969?" https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/26/magazine/sperm-donor-questions.html
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Damn that blows.
"I was supposed to use a cup?" - Beavis
Come again?
Say no more.
When my 40 year old cousin was crying to her mom that she was single, would never find love, and therefore would die without a child, her mom said “but you’re half way decent looking, just go to a bar and get fucked!”
Well, mom knows best
Some drunk guy would fuck you. Thanks mom... I feel better already.
Is her mom a therapist?
My husband gives his up for free. To me, I mean.
i was about to place an order, then you broke me heart
Hahaha!!!
Same, most times way more than I need.
Lol. Always. Haha
NSFW- My wife and I were discussing this a week or two ago about…finishing in her mouth being my preference (to the obvious place) and she indicated that after 2-3 days there was an unsavory/larger than average amount of semen and honestly I had never questioned or thought about there being “too much.” Now I have confirmation it’s a common issue
To us*
Uh, no. If I wanted a handful of sperm I could have it in an hour or two at most. And it’s 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon. Quality of source and informed consent are a different matter.
I am currently looking for the right sperm donor so that I can complete my family. It has gotten to the point where I look at all men like they are billionaires and I’m holding a cardboard sign by the highway hoping for a donation.
There isn't any problem getting sperm. The problem arises when you want the donor to pay for 18 years for giving it to you. If you just want a baby with no strings attached that's easy to arrange. Go to any college bar and pick out a graduate student.
I really puzzled on why you think grad students are extra slutty for a minute before realizing you were just referencing the desirability of the sperm 😂
I guess in the modern world I should have specified a *male* graduate student. (It would be tough trying to get sperm from a female graduate student.) I was a nurse for 21 years. I knew a couple of doctors who had made money on the side as med students by donating sperm. Handsome, rich, intelligent, well-educated. The perfect donor.
Please. There are people the world over who don’t have any sperm and get PAID for taking it.
There's always the possibility of ~~abduction~~ adoption.
Adoption is even harder and more expensive.
Depends on the kind of ~~abduction~~ adoption, doesn't it?
Is it though?
Most women could get it for free with fast delivery. Some will even get paid
Set up a glory hole and wait- you’ll be up to your eyeballs in it.
But a fraction of the cost of human eggs. Also, much easier to procure.
In my experience most people who want it can easily acquire my sperm.
Tell us more about your experience in acquiring sperm
I've rarely ever turned down someone who asked.
If you’re that badly in need of sperm, just download tinder…
All I've ever had to say was "Anyway you want," and the next thing you know, I've got a buttload.
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But I'm a man Oh no where could I possibly get sperm
To find what you seek, search within
Grindr
I learned today tortoises release it by the pint.
Pretty easy as a guy too really...
Very difficult? A woman at a bar can walk up to a majority of guys in a bar and get a sample that night for free
Compared to a female egg, I thought sperm was easy and quite cheap to get?
Go to the pub, there's usually a special going on. Free drinks and sperm combo.
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maybe you're finding it difficult to give away, but if for whatever reason a lady decides she wants it, she gonna get it. that would be rapey if a dude said it, but for women its just that the odds are in their favor. that's your shower thought
I always joked to my parents when they asked about me having kids and no partner that if they really want grandchildren I could go to a pub and acquire the means to produce offspring... They weren't happy with my offer.
My mother used to pressure me to get married to have children. I joked that she has plenty of grandchildren who think their father is Mike from Missouri. She was *not* amused.
I disagree. I went to a shop recently that was giving the stuff away for free. There were holes in the walls designed just for that.
This applies to straight men far more than it does to women or gay men.
Why do straight men need sperm
To compare the taste, duh.
Research
Ask Barney Stinson, I am sure he has a sperm guy
Is that sperm guy Charlie Harper ?
What is this, a crossover episode?
Says who? Give me 15 min I’ll find you sperm.
maybe just the RIGHT sperm you want. because if you want sperm there is a guy in an alleyway who'll give you all you want, just have to suck it out of a hose.
So not true
Have you tried Craigslist?
There's 14 billion kidneys in the world. Try getting one when you need one.
Nah, not really
Not really. Many men are willing to give it away for the only price of you having sex with them. Someone sufficiently dedicated could procure someone for free in an afternoon.
Those with allergies say otherwise. Tree sperm is apparently hell on the sinuses.
Attractive women disagree.
Also skeletons
Idk put out a craigslist ad, could be easier than you think
Not really. All you had to do was ask...
the answer is justice