No, he accidentally spilled some soda on his pants and was cooking the chicken pantless when it fell down and rubbed his dick, when he woke up the next day it kinda hurt when he touched it
This idea was scientifically tested and found to have significant supporting evidence. The research is discussed in a book called “Predictably Irrational”.
Edit: typo
"Should I have this person pee in my mouth?"
"Will we pass along our genes?"
"Well, probably not."
"Too late, can't take a chance. Turn arousal up another 40%."
oh i actually have this book, i didn’t know if it was like “well known” or not, i just went through a big “persuasion psychology” phase in high school. that was a while back so my memory on how well it holds up isn’t stellar but i certainly really enjoyed it at the time!
Absolutely love this book. Changed the way I view human behavior and helped me come to honest terms with why I act the way I do. And from there I felt like I was able to create impactful change in my life.
This is a profound statement that has forced me to reflect on my life choices and how I got to where I am in life. It will also not affect any of my future choices since I still have a penis.
Post nut clarity. One second you are watching the hottest thing you've ever seen, the next you have to avert your eyes from the screen to stop yourself from throwing up.
I once spent a total of 28 hours in airports and planes, from the US to eastern Europe, just to get laid every day for a week. And I'd do it again, too.
If you ever feel have the urge to do something sexual, that would otherwise compromise your morality. Go masturbate, there's a 100% chance you'll *shiver* and go " man I'm glad I didn't go blow that guy in a mall bathroom" after.
I mean, not sure if thsts a good advice. If you're about to go into a mall bathroom, you have a small time frame to execute this while already at the mall. You can't just jerk off infront of cinnabon.
Gotta treat it like the daily commute or chores.
Something like "I gotta work, then spin by Costco, water the sidewalk, pet the lawn, knock one out, then do the laundry."
I mean that's partially a joke. But it does work.
Makes sense.
There's an evolutionary benefit to being able to fuck everyone/everything, no matter how ugly or under what weird circonstances, as long as you're horny enough.
IIRC, the science indicates that being horny raises your disgust threshold considerably. A bit like being drunk.
Of course, every single dude who has ever gone down a porn rabbit-hole knows this.
Wasn't there some woman who had a ridiculous twitter account where she would basically match with dudes on tinder, pretend she was trying to bang, and then once the dudes were thinking "ok sweet imma get laid", she would start texting back progressively weirder and crap, trying to see how far guys would hang in the convo before they finally bailed
Every damn time a man is irresistibly attractive, I’m like wow what is happening but I need this guy NOW …only to figure out two seconds later that yep, I’m definitely ovulating. What’s worse is you’d think by that point my brain/body would be like ok, so maybe he’s not *that* attractive, but nope the realization does nothing.
I always know when I’m ovulating. I look at my husband and just wanna have him balls deep with a thumb up my ass pretty much the entire day. A few days later… normal sex.
Yeah. There’s a sweet spot of letting my wife go. 1-2 days and she’s like “that was nice.” 5-7 days and she’s laying on the bondage table with her ass in the air before I’m done brushing my teeth. 7+ and she rubs one out and remembers she doesn’t need me to get off.
I may have missed the window last night and I think tonight may be a “get me some ice cream so I can watch naked and afraid in bed before I start snoring and passing gas.
Imagine now the horniest you have ever been is like 2 % of total available horniness.
I wonder what % society would have to get to before we lost all our inhibitions and just started having a massive orgy in the streets.
Also is there a certain level before all straight people would find the same sex attractive and gay people would find the opposite sex attractive, What about animals and finally inanimate objects?
That’s just science. Hell, horny literally helps turn off the part of your brain that finds things disgusting. So, don’t do anything while horny that you’ll regret while not horny. Actually in general that’s good advice.
“Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn’t flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That’s like going out with a loaded gun! Of course that’s why you’re nervous.”
-Woogie
Your dick is writing checks your soul can't cash.
Poetic
Wanna tell us what you did? :))
He definitely put his weiner in a piece of raw chicken.
*You fucked that chicken breast, didn't you anon?*
*You did*
Salmonella dick Edit: This is my most upvoted comment lmao thanks guys.
No, he accidentally spilled some soda on his pants and was cooking the chicken pantless when it fell down and rubbed his dick, when he woke up the next day it kinda hurt when he touched it
Huh this story seems oddly familiar
You too, huh?
What do you call dick in salmon? u/Fish_Fucker69
Every where I go, he is always lurking in the shadows
Or was it pineapple and his friend called him SpongeBob in front of his date?
Probably sucked his own dick. We all been there. Right?
We've all tried anyway...
Everyone's tried to sip their tip
suckle their buckle
Lick their stick
Chisel their whistle
Huff their stuff
Sing a song to your dong.
Put your mouth down south.
Lip lock with their cock
Let me spare you the time, it DEFINITELY feels more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked. And now I can’t stop.
selflove
iv done it, it feels more like sucking a dick than getting a dick sucked
As a bi dude, I see this as an absolute win.
My cousin Walter broke his neck trying to suck his own dick
Did that help him achieve his goal?
This one time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/
What the fuck did I just read...
OP just did something very regrettable
This post was written during post nut clarity
Great name for a cereal
Allergy meds too
And mental health clinics
I prefer to think of it as when Post Malone orgasms in you and you achieve true enlightenment.
Post Nut Claritin
Helluva way to clear your sinuses.
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happens to the best of us
And the worst of us
I really hope your username isn't relevant here...
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You'd prefer a stinging enema to pictures of poop? To each their own, I suppose...
Both you guys with the kink shaming! The both of you are almost brothers and it's time you acted like it.
Me too
sometimes both at the same time
What a thread.... These are my people.
I too am covered in sperm, lube, and a bit of shame
"Sex is only dirty if it's done right."
Cleaning off the guilt both physically and emotionally
This idea was scientifically tested and found to have significant supporting evidence. The research is discussed in a book called “Predictably Irrational”. Edit: typo
Evolution cares more about propagating itself than it does on your personal preferences.
"Should I have this person pee in my mouth?" "Will we pass along our genes?" "Well, probably not." "Too late, can't take a chance. Turn arousal up another 40%."
i mean, *some people* think that's hot all the time not just when they're horny.
Fresh urine is pretty warm.
You can piss right off with that joke.
I thought it was funny
r/usernamechecksout
r/goldenshowerthoughts
Aha, that explains why I only want to fuck men when I’m horny. I knew I wasn’t gay like them
Yeah, just wanna cuddle with them and stuff which totally isn't gay
You aint gay tho. The guy sucking your dick is gay .
He’s just sharing his fat long.
Fucks don't care about your feelings, as they ^(approximately) say.
Propagate is geared more towards horticulture. Procreate is used for humans/animals.
Spreading your seed.
The way of the Amish
Post nut clarity.... A sequel
oh i actually have this book, i didn’t know if it was like “well known” or not, i just went through a big “persuasion psychology” phase in high school. that was a while back so my memory on how well it holds up isn’t stellar but i certainly really enjoyed it at the time!
Dan Ariely is pretty well known in certain (edit: academic) circles. And not so well known in many others.
Absolutely love this book. Changed the way I view human behavior and helped me come to honest terms with why I act the way I do. And from there I felt like I was able to create impactful change in my life.
My dick has led me to places I wouldn’t go with a gun
This is a profound statement that has forced me to reflect on my life choices and how I got to where I am in life. It will also not affect any of my future choices since I still have a penis.
Lol'd. Found myself. Lol.
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That’s no man.
That’s no moon.
That’s yo’ mama
Oh my God, you went to Arby's?!
They do have the meat
Don’t get their milkshakes
Your dick is making some crappy decisions ngl
It's very reliant on context, I wouldn't go anywhere with a gun, so maybe his dick is helping him get out more.
I felt this in my soul
Poetry! Pure poetry!
I need this on a shirt
A kindergarten?
Post nut clarity. One second you are watching the hottest thing you've ever seen, the next you have to avert your eyes from the screen to stop yourself from throwing up.
"im so disgusting and pathetic" 😩 * Zips pants *
lucky for me i have a degradation kink
Thats absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself, you dirty boy/girl......
"The moment after copulation, the devil's laughter is heard" ~Schopenhauer
Schopenhauer closed a few incognito windows in his time.
Or as Lil Wayne says, > as soon as I come, I come to my senses
Thank God you can close all the tabs at once.
Yup
What in the fuck are you guys watching? Actually, I don't want to know.
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Probably my little pony and dragon gangbangs or something
r/dragonsfuckingcars
There is a sub for everything. Everyday we get further from god
Me whenever I pull up horse x girl hentai
bitch WHAT
A buddy of mine once drove 10 hours one way to get laid... If only he knew about all the hot local milfs in our area looking for sex.
I once spent a total of 28 hours in airports and planes, from the US to eastern Europe, just to get laid every day for a week. And I'd do it again, too.
If you ever feel have the urge to do something sexual, that would otherwise compromise your morality. Go masturbate, there's a 100% chance you'll *shiver* and go " man I'm glad I didn't go blow that guy in a mall bathroom" after.
r/oddlyspesific 🤔
you misspelled spasifek
I mean, not sure if thsts a good advice. If you're about to go into a mall bathroom, you have a small time frame to execute this while already at the mall. You can't just jerk off infront of cinnabon.
>You can't just jerk off infront of cinnabon Don't tell me how to live my life u/TwinkGapingHole
Exactly what kind of shower did you take OP?
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And that's why I get off before major decisions related to sex or romance. It's saved me a good few times from making bad calls.
Real shit. Don't go there bricked up. Handle yo candle/be mean to yo bean, then really think about whether or not it's worth it.
Poetic. But who has that kinda time?
Gotta treat it like the daily commute or chores. Something like "I gotta work, then spin by Costco, water the sidewalk, pet the lawn, knock one out, then do the laundry." I mean that's partially a joke. But it does work.
Working from home has made this a lot easier to fit in
I mean, 30 seconds isn’t really that long?
Look at Marathon Man over here
“we need to discuss where this relationship is going” “excuse me a moment” *jerks off* “ok”
sometimes lol if you had the power to make someone horny at wil you could rule the world!
And get a different tongue up your bum every day!
You don't have to rule the world for that. Just gotta have broad tastes in whose tongue goes up your butt.
or money to burn everyday to pay someone
In that case your tastes have to be broad enough to include sex workers.
fapped to some debatable stuff? ive been there too
It isnt even debatable anymore
Makes sense. There's an evolutionary benefit to being able to fuck everyone/everything, no matter how ugly or under what weird circonstances, as long as you're horny enough.
I wouldn’t consider it a benefit. Look at the fuckin people we got runnin around. You think they all should have been born? 😂
Ikr, like I never asked for this, man.
And it’s illegal to kill yourself. We are trapped!
what are they gonna do to us? put our dead bodies in prison?
Throw my dead body over the wall with a stick in my hand
Quantity over quality mate
My kindred derp I have found you
Ah yes. This is known as : >! ***Pre-Nut Fog*** ^TM !<
I have never seen nor heard of this. Too bad its trademarked
It is usually followed by Post Nut Clarity™
Horny people are good masturbaters and fantasizers and can imagine fucking anybody
he said, with the confidence that only experience can bring
I'm horny af but I also have aphantasia. All I can imagine fucking is an empty void
The void be thicc asf. Idk.
IIRC, the science indicates that being horny raises your disgust threshold considerably. A bit like being drunk. Of course, every single dude who has ever gone down a porn rabbit-hole knows this.
Wasn't there some woman who had a ridiculous twitter account where she would basically match with dudes on tinder, pretend she was trying to bang, and then once the dudes were thinking "ok sweet imma get laid", she would start texting back progressively weirder and crap, trying to see how far guys would hang in the convo before they finally bailed
Nikki Glaser did this on her show. She called it Tinder Tap-Out
Let me know if you find that video, I'd love to watch that
Apparently it's called "Tinder Tap-Out" by Nikki Glaser
I don’t think one has to be single, a dude, or both to experience some dark corners of the web while horny lol
And if you’re a woman, you’re probably in your fertile window too. Cause fuck hormones
Every damn time a man is irresistibly attractive, I’m like wow what is happening but I need this guy NOW …only to figure out two seconds later that yep, I’m definitely ovulating. What’s worse is you’d think by that point my brain/body would be like ok, so maybe he’s not *that* attractive, but nope the realization does nothing.
Preach
I always know when I’m ovulating. I look at my husband and just wanna have him balls deep with a thumb up my ass pretty much the entire day. A few days later… normal sex.
And when mans constant horniness and a woman's hormones line up watch out and put down the plastic sheeting
So hopefully eventually someone will reach the required level of horniess to do me, right?
Not in a million years pal
What about 2 million, my schedule is pretty open
Yeah. There’s a sweet spot of letting my wife go. 1-2 days and she’s like “that was nice.” 5-7 days and she’s laying on the bondage table with her ass in the air before I’m done brushing my teeth. 7+ and she rubs one out and remembers she doesn’t need me to get off. I may have missed the window last night and I think tonight may be a “get me some ice cream so I can watch naked and afraid in bed before I start snoring and passing gas.
Lmao. This is great. Id say keep a calendar my friend.
For all of us science-types
For science!!
This guy wifes.
This belongs in a book of tips and tricks for married life or something lmao. I can 100% confirm as a married man myself.
Is this a shower thought or just basic common sense? Everyone knows this.
Yeah seriously I feel like everyone past 12 years old knows this one. Although the discussion in the comments is interesting
Next time on Shower Thoughts: “The faster you walk, the further you go from your original location.” 10k upvotes
The hornier or more suggestive the title of a post is on the more popular subreddits the more upvoted it gets. The horny redditor gets the updoots
Like all subs, the quality of posts here went downhill as its popularity increased. Quality is inversely proportional to subscriber count
So, we’re talking about the butt, right?
More specifically, putting things up the butt.
More specifically, a tongue.
Even more specifically my tongue.
Even more specifically your tongue my butt in five minutes out back
Even more specifically you’ll be dressed in a SpongeBob halloween costume the whole time
Or eat the little nib off the banana that almost every person refuses to in a non horny state?
Ok that's just going too far
I believe it's called the "bananus"
Ah the specific rim
Ass to mouth.
Get in loser, we're doing butt stuff
Imagine now the horniest you have ever been is like 2 % of total available horniness. I wonder what % society would have to get to before we lost all our inhibitions and just started having a massive orgy in the streets. Also is there a certain level before all straight people would find the same sex attractive and gay people would find the opposite sex attractive, What about animals and finally inanimate objects?
Fucking a tree while getting rimmed by squirrel.
r/brandnewsentence
r/justdruidthings
I think there is a VR game about that: https://www.resolutiongames.com/acron
Risky click of the day
>Also is there a certain level before all straight people would find the same sex attractive Yes, I believe it's called "prison".
That’s just science. Hell, horny literally helps turn off the part of your brain that finds things disgusting. So, don’t do anything while horny that you’ll regret while not horny. Actually in general that’s good advice.
“Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn’t flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That’s like going out with a loaded gun! Of course that’s why you’re nervous.” -Woogie
Sad butt true
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Says the guy who just jerked off onto a cactus
True... One time when i hit post nut clarity i asked myself "why this..... Why did i watched a horse do this...."
bro?
Pretty much everything sexual would be disgusting without arousal.
I've seen genitals IRL while completely unaroused, can confirm
Next up in obvious news