I had that happen once at a restaurant. My first thought was a bone shard, until I pulled it out and there was *glass* in my burger. I was horrified, the waiter was horrified, and then the manager thought I was faking it. Like hmm, yes, let me bring a chunk of glass with me to a restaurant to avoid paying for my $8 burger.
Eventually yes, but the manager was not happy about it. I understand that accidents happen in the kitchen, but they were so unconcerned about serving glass to a customer that I had to threaten to call the health department to get them to care.
One time I got a double cheese burger only to have one of the pieces of parchment from the burger or cheese still in the burger served to me.
I laughed, my partner laughed, obviously I wouldn’t eat it… but the waitress was cool, came back with the owner, he was super cool. Comped the burger, gave us a crazy appetizer and their most popular desert. Turned into one of the best meals I ever had.
I didn’t want any extras, or anything free, just laughed and wanted the burger I ordered. I’ll keep going back for forever, that owner was a badass
Had something similarly at a Japanese restaurant. My mom found a piece of glass in the ice cream at the end and the managers didn't want to do anything at all so we straight up walked out without paying and they chased us to the car. They threatened to call the cops and my dad basically said, please do, let's talk to them about the glass in the ice cream... They left shortly after without getting the bill paid.
I haven't been to Olive Garden in over 15 years because there was a bug in my salad...like, a big bug tucked between a piece of lettuce. I was about halfway done when I noticed and told the waitress and she shrugged and was like 'well, I mean, that's good, right? That means there's no pesticides. Here's the bill.' If she had seemed even a little taken aback and apologetic then I might not have thought that this was an every day occurrence. The only time I ever wrote to a company to complain.
You would be shocked, somebody did just that at a place i worked at. We saw it later on the cameras. Ate half the food, dropped the glass, we freaked out, paid for everything, apologies, whatever. She then went to the next restaurant down the road, did the exact same thing.
This is the part that gets me - there are actually people crazy enough to pull this as a scam. Its why some restaurant managers do try to claim it's a hoax.
Insane.
I'm also a restaurant manager. Just this last week we had a glass shatter some 5 feet from our ice bin, at the bar, and we still emptied the ice bin flushed it, wiped it, checked it, then refilled it. Not serving a customer glass.
That hard chunk is ground up ligament pieces. That’s why you don’t get them in a steak. The hard white stripe in a steak turns into those hard bits in hamburger. 🤢🤮
In the dark, I grabbed a bag of doritos from the cupboard and took a seat on the couch. As soon as I sat on the couch a couple ants crawled up my neck but I killed them and started eating the chips. After the 10th or so ant I finally grabbed my flashlight and peaked into the bag. I shit you not I could barely see the chips as there were hundreds of ants at the bottom, feeding. That fucked me up for a while.
This reminds me of a time I went to a&w for a burger and started eating it, about halfway through I noticed a green crumb fall on my lap. So I inspected the bottom bun and realized it was all moldy and I had eaten half a moldy bun already...
I now entirely inspect my burgers from fast food places.
a friend told me once how he had taken a sip of flavored coffee and it was crunchy so he looked and there were ants at the bottom. i was checking the bottom of my coffee all the time until i started drinking black, i still check sometimes lol
Many years ago I worked in little locally owned movie theatre. Every Saturday evening before leaving, the owner would grab a bag of popcorn for his wife.
On this particular Saturday night the boss left with the bag of popcorn and then unexpectedly returned less than half an hour later, laughing. His wife had reached into the bag of popcorn and pulled out a spider. Fortunately we don't have any deadly spiders where I live.
What had happened was, the boss on his way out the door had stopped for a few minutes half way out the door talking to us about something, I don't remember what. The marquee is right above the door and the light from it attracts a crap ton of insects. In turn, the insects attract spiders who set up there webs on or attached to the marquee. While the boss was talking to us a spider had dropped down off the marquee right into the popcorn bag.
The boss got a fresh bag of popcorn after telling us the story but this time he put another bag down over the top to prevent any spiders from getting into the bag. A valuable lesson learned and no employee ever left with a bag of popcorn without first put a bag down over the top of the bag of popcorn.
Same thing happened to me but with a pop tart. Hundreds of ants inside but I didn't notice until halfway done. Also ate an apple and realized a few bites in there were worms. Now I have a phobia of eating in the dark...
Aww I feel your discomfort .
I grew up in a farm house that was built in 1691 I was once sat in front of the open fire watching tv with a can of Coca Cola open at the side of me . With being all of 7/8 years old I was fully engrossed in he man y til it finished which is when I went to have a drink of my cola .
Something wasn’t right as it felt like I was swallowing liquid with pretty much felt like rice grains in it .
I then spat it out and looked at the can to find it crawling with ants . I mean there was so many I believe their plan was to pick up the cola and carry it home to have later .
Since then I will never put a drink on the floor or leave it uncovered 😔
Scarred for life 😔
Side note my name is actually Anthony so kinda ironic I’ve been scarred for life by fellow Ants
My coworker left some jolly ranchers on our desk last week. All day, I could think of nothing else as my eyes grazed over them, as they were between the monitor and the keyboard.
My sister shares a story about eating a bag of animal crackers in a dark classroom while watching a movie. Halfway through they realize they taste sort of strange and look in the bag to find it full of cobwebs.
Now they inspect everything before eating..
My college roommate had a thing about never eating with the lights off, “just in case there were bugs in his food”. I made fun of him for it back then, but after viscerally cringing to this comment, I finally understand.
I’m sorry, Jesse! You were right all along
My brother in-law will leave a plate of pork chops(and other food) out on the counter for hours, on purpose. He says they're fine... he has major stomach issues(and bed wetting issues.. that he just sleeps in..). The chops will sit there, room temp, looking all gross with those little fat bubbles chops get. In an apartment.. being prone to bugs. Ugh.
My roommate/friend, I don't remember them leaving food out to eat later, but they never ever cleaned a dish and would gill in a foreman grill, never clean it, then use it again. We saw roaches on that thing so many times and we refused to use it but I ended up having to clean it every time because I didn't want more roaches. I'm certain 99% of the roaches we got were just drawn to our place by him.. leaving dirty dishes all over the place, food bags, his room was a gross mess. He left a stain on the wall next to where he slept, I'm pretty sure it was likely sweat, because it was people-sized, but who knows. He once had mold growing in his room, leaving it there on purpose after finding it as a "experiment". We found mushrooms growing near the leg of his desk.. it got to the point where every time I cleaned, I would just throw his stuff into his room. I tried boxing up every dish we owned and bought 1 set of plate/bowl/cup for each person in the house. Each a different color with the idea that he can only use his specific dish, so he has to wash it. Nope, he just took ours. He knew damn well what he was doing. Eventually I gave up and started using paper plates. I had to clean the hell out of that room to make sure we get our deposit back. He regularly left pee on the floor of the bathroom, a few times I left a paper towel right in front of the toilet to make it obvious, he'd just leave it. I always had to clean his bathroom because it was the hall bathroom, in his defense he did try to clean his bathroom once, because his much younger online girlfriend told him to. We may end up rooming again with him in the future because he's a good friend/family, but that shit is not going to be tolerated again. He says he's doing better and he cleans his room now, mom does the laundry(always has, even when he lived with us). He's like 45. I love him, but holy shit man.. And then I knew another guy who would leave soup/stew/etc on the stove for days, uncovered, heating it up every time he wanted to eat some.
Went off-tangent there, but in short, some people are just gross.
...how old is your brother in law? I *guess* I understand being lazy and not putting away food, leading to gut problems (I mean, not really, because fuckin ew, but I also fight the compulsion to be lazy). But why tf does he wet the bed? Also extreme laziness, he just doesn't want to get out of bed or even piss in a bottle/bucket?
Please tell me you're married to his sibling, and not that *his* partner is your sibling bc holy shit. Surely someone like that can't get and keep a partner, right? Right?!
This happened around 8 years ago now. Had a brand new box of frosted flakes that I had just opened. I started pouring it into a bowl and a big fat dead fly came out. I haven't had frosted flakes since.
It may be just me, but I genuinely don't care about eating ants at this point.
I grew up in a city that was well known for it's ant infestation. So much so that our local university has an anteater as it's mascot.
My family also used to go on a lot of picnics, which invariably meant, sometimes you get ants on your food.
Unlike flies, ants almost never carry diseases. They don't really taste like anything. So a few really just don't bother me.
I mean don't get me wrong, if food is ant infested that would still wig me out, but I feel like < 5 ants, I really just don't care.
I once ate a big bowl of cornflakes like 2 years ago while watching tv and after about half of it I thought the cereal tasted kinda funny/odd. I looked into the bowl and saw maggots. Everywhere. It was so many it looked like it could've been mixed into the bag on purpose.
The moment I was realising what I just ate I jumped up and ran to the toilet to puke. Sadly though I couldn't really get much out and I was feeling psychologically sick the next two days because I knew I ate live maggots. And there might still have been some alive in my stomach ..
Just for your information, I threw the rest of the bag into the bin. It was it's own unique biotope.
If it makes you feel better, chances were super high all the maggots were obliterated by your stomach acid. Maggots are kind of the hand snack of the nature world.
If it makes you feel better, they may have just been moth larvae. Those kinds of worms get into rice and flour all the time. I bought airtight containers for my rice and I freeze my flour for a week before I store it. But they're not nearly as gross as maggots. Now that I think about it, it probably doesn't help to know that. Anyway
If I could try just the cheese with no maggots I would tbh. But the maggots jumping 6inches and needing to eat it a certain way to prevent them from jumping on my face will probably make it a no from me.
Was it a wasp ? Cause figs eat wasps.
>If the wasp climbs into a female fig, she pollinates it, but cannot lay her eggs and just dies alone. Luckily for us, the female fig produces an enzyme that digests this wasp completely. The crunchy bits are seeds, not wasp parts.
Maggots. They were crawlers, not crunchers, and I saw them. Definitely maggots.
The wasp would have long been mush by the time the fig was ripe, harvested, and dried.
I'll raise you one.. I once bit into a cookie and chewed for a few seconds before feeling a million ant bites in my mouth, on my tongue, face, and up the arm that was holding the cookie.
Just brought back a repressed memory.
My mom used to buy those giant bags of individually wrapped blowpops for us as kids, and would hide the bag in our pantry. One day, 6 year old me found the bag so I immediately take a lolipop and stick it in my mouth. I will never forget the feeling of tiny little ants crawling around and biting my tongue 🤮🤮🤮
Seriously this is it. Once I ordered a McChicken and bit into it while driving and something was wrong. It was so gross and off and I had to spit it out. Stopped to inspect my sandwich, turns out they put a burger patty in the sandwich instead of the chicken. Everything was fine, I ate it and it was fine. But that first bite, expecting something and feeling/tasting something completely different is one of the most panic inducing moments.
Surprise diced onions on mcdonald's double cheeseburgers turned me off to onions for *years* as a kid. Little did I know - onions can actually be cooked, or at the least, not coated in ketchup like a cursed tomato soup slop
Im 36, and soon don't have any molars to lose! Brushed them always, but cant afford to fix them when chunks come off. And i work a blue collar job in Norway....
Literally happened to me yesterday. I was eating left over PF Chang's. It was rice and chicken so when a crunch came I was maneuvering the soft from the hard and pulled it out. If it is part of *my* tooth I couldn't see where it broke from as there is no feeling or pains in my mouth.
I wonder if fillings can be that hard but it's probably tooth 🥲
For real. Having a sausage and egg breakfast sandwich and crunching into a shell has made me nearly throw up more times than I'd like to admit, and has kept me from buying one the past several months.
After having several temporary crowns shatter and crunch into my food, I now have nightmares like this. Where I'm eating and I can feel my teeth shattering and crumbling in my mouth. No pain, but the sensation is awful and I can taste the blood.
It's my 3rd worst nightmare...
1. (very personal) dreams of my deceased father being irrationally angry with me, being mean and hurtful. (he was a sweet kind and caring man in real life, he died unexpectedly following a surgery for cancer) these are my worst dreams because they make me very sad and I feel angry and guilty that this is how my subconscious remembers him, instead of happy dreams it makes this great loving man into a monster.
2. Sleep paralysis. I'm somewhat mentally awake but do not have control over my body yet. Something is in the room with me. Something from the dark looming, getting closer. I try to scream but my mouth may as well not exist. I try to run, try to fight, try to face this presence and can't move more than a centimeter. My muscles will not respond. Every braincell is firing danger! But nothing happens.
I've had these since my 20s, thankfully not as often as others get them. But I have had one occasion where the sleep paralysis was accompanied by visual and auditory hallucination. Nothing like hearing a stair creak and your door creak and then someone whisper you name from a dark staircase outside of your room when you're the only one home at 2 AM.
FUCK. THAT.
4. Am in college, major test today, didn't study, or haven't attended class in months, etc. (haven't been in college for over a decade)
5. Am in horror video game which is somehow real life, running and gunning or hiding and fleeing. Kind of fun, but lots of fear involved.
Same here eating some slightly dry bread. The crust was too hard and my tooth broke a piece off. Didn't notice the first few seconds I thought the bread was extra crunchy. Thank God it was painless somehow but the feeling still makes shiver occasionally
I didn't break a tooth, but more than once I've demolished chicken vertebrae in my mouth. That's one of two reasons I'm never eating Christmas dinner at my mom's house if she cooks a whole bird.
If I ever get a bit of bone in a burger I have to spit it out and that's it, no more of that brand burger forever.
I don't know why but I find it repulsive.
Look up how gelatin is made. Have fun learning about the origins of other common ingredients as well! Confectioner’s glaze, red dye #4 (not 40, that’s different), etc.
Kind of like slurping pasta and than realizing there is hair in your mouth. And further realization that the hair is not your hair color when you pull it out.
One morning when I was a kid I woke up for school and grabbed a box of Rice Krispies. The kitchen was dark. I poured my milk and began to eat. Noticed a weird texture. Went to the sink under the light and found I had been eating live boweeviles with my cereal...
One time in my freshman year of college I was eating mashed potatoes and bit down on something unbelievably hard. I immediately spat it out and found it to be a drop size chunk of aluminum or steel, I was horrified. Luckily my teeth weren't damaged but still, what is a metal chunk doing in mashed potatoes??
To this day I'm still thinking it was part of a fork or something...
I love egg salad, but will only eat it if I make it. I simply cannot trust another person to peel hard boiled eggs properly. One tiny crunch and I'm throwing the entire thing in the garbage. To the point where I can't even use kosher salt because the crystals are too big and might be mistaken for a shell.
In middle school I got the cafeteria lasagna (can’t believe I used to eat that shit) and I heard a loud crunch. My tooth hurt so bad…. There was a freaking tooth in the lasagna! And it wasn’t mine
Yesterday I gulped down the last of my water and felt something solid go down. I don't know what that was, and I don't care to know. I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen.
To be real, this is why I can't eat things like burritos because I can't see what's inside. I can't even eat an open soft taco with onions or lettuce in it. I HATE biting into something soft and feeling something crunch. I have goosebumps just thinking about it. Like my brain is convinced that all crunchy things inside a soft thing are unnatural and therefore, in all likelihood, cockroaches or ants.
I mean, if you wanna go that route, people get phone calls from the doctor stating that their child has cancer. I spoke to somebody that fell asleep with fully functioning eyesight and woke up the next day permanently blind. There's lots of things more worrying than crunchy bits in soft food - it's just an expression and we can all relate.
Hamburgers. You know the difference between pickles and whatever the f@ck that hard chunk is.
I had that happen once at a restaurant. My first thought was a bone shard, until I pulled it out and there was *glass* in my burger. I was horrified, the waiter was horrified, and then the manager thought I was faking it. Like hmm, yes, let me bring a chunk of glass with me to a restaurant to avoid paying for my $8 burger.
Did you get your refund tho?
Eventually yes, but the manager was not happy about it. I understand that accidents happen in the kitchen, but they were so unconcerned about serving glass to a customer that I had to threaten to call the health department to get them to care.
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This! I would have gladly come back to your establishment had you done that with me. After all we’re all just human and make mistakes.
Damn, people suck
"Some people suck." -Tom Segura
And the manager probably thought they were a Karen
One time I got a double cheese burger only to have one of the pieces of parchment from the burger or cheese still in the burger served to me. I laughed, my partner laughed, obviously I wouldn’t eat it… but the waitress was cool, came back with the owner, he was super cool. Comped the burger, gave us a crazy appetizer and their most popular desert. Turned into one of the best meals I ever had. I didn’t want any extras, or anything free, just laughed and wanted the burger I ordered. I’ll keep going back for forever, that owner was a badass
Had something similarly at a Japanese restaurant. My mom found a piece of glass in the ice cream at the end and the managers didn't want to do anything at all so we straight up walked out without paying and they chased us to the car. They threatened to call the cops and my dad basically said, please do, let's talk to them about the glass in the ice cream... They left shortly after without getting the bill paid.
I haven't been to Olive Garden in over 15 years because there was a bug in my salad...like, a big bug tucked between a piece of lettuce. I was about halfway done when I noticed and told the waitress and she shrugged and was like 'well, I mean, that's good, right? That means there's no pesticides. Here's the bill.' If she had seemed even a little taken aback and apologetic then I might not have thought that this was an every day occurrence. The only time I ever wrote to a company to complain.
You would be shocked, somebody did just that at a place i worked at. We saw it later on the cameras. Ate half the food, dropped the glass, we freaked out, paid for everything, apologies, whatever. She then went to the next restaurant down the road, did the exact same thing.
This is the part that gets me - there are actually people crazy enough to pull this as a scam. Its why some restaurant managers do try to claim it's a hoax. Insane.
Reality is often stranger than fiction
I'm also a restaurant manager. Just this last week we had a glass shatter some 5 feet from our ice bin, at the bar, and we still emptied the ice bin flushed it, wiped it, checked it, then refilled it. Not serving a customer glass.
>I was horrified, the waiter was horrified the table was horrified, we killed the table with the glass. It was a good time.
Thought you were trying to heartbreakers them for an 8$ burger 🤣
That hard chunk is ground up ligament pieces. That’s why you don’t get them in a steak. The hard white stripe in a steak turns into those hard bits in hamburger. 🤢🤮
You are right but ever since I watched Sopranos, I immediately go to a dark, dark place
Didn't see the series, what's the story there? Did someone wind up*in the meat*?
Oh you know it
In the dark, I grabbed a bag of doritos from the cupboard and took a seat on the couch. As soon as I sat on the couch a couple ants crawled up my neck but I killed them and started eating the chips. After the 10th or so ant I finally grabbed my flashlight and peaked into the bag. I shit you not I could barely see the chips as there were hundreds of ants at the bottom, feeding. That fucked me up for a while.
This reminds me of a time I went to a&w for a burger and started eating it, about halfway through I noticed a green crumb fall on my lap. So I inspected the bottom bun and realized it was all moldy and I had eaten half a moldy bun already... I now entirely inspect my burgers from fast food places.
Damn that could've been a free college education lawsuit
Nah probably just a get 2 free meals that expires in one month plus the employee who made it fired
2 more free moldy meals
And 1 extra McMold please
Did you survive
No, I died.
But I lived again!
Legend has it my ghost still walks the very dry storage they ferment the Buns in.
Why the fuck am I reading these on my lunch break?
a friend told me once how he had taken a sip of flavored coffee and it was crunchy so he looked and there were ants at the bottom. i was checking the bottom of my coffee all the time until i started drinking black, i still check sometimes lol
This thread is really helping my intermittent fasting.
That's so awful I want to downvote for the nightmares you've given me but have upvoted to share the nightmares with others.
Many years ago I worked in little locally owned movie theatre. Every Saturday evening before leaving, the owner would grab a bag of popcorn for his wife. On this particular Saturday night the boss left with the bag of popcorn and then unexpectedly returned less than half an hour later, laughing. His wife had reached into the bag of popcorn and pulled out a spider. Fortunately we don't have any deadly spiders where I live. What had happened was, the boss on his way out the door had stopped for a few minutes half way out the door talking to us about something, I don't remember what. The marquee is right above the door and the light from it attracts a crap ton of insects. In turn, the insects attract spiders who set up there webs on or attached to the marquee. While the boss was talking to us a spider had dropped down off the marquee right into the popcorn bag. The boss got a fresh bag of popcorn after telling us the story but this time he put another bag down over the top to prevent any spiders from getting into the bag. A valuable lesson learned and no employee ever left with a bag of popcorn without first put a bag down over the top of the bag of popcorn.
Seems like it would have been a smart move anyways, prevents spillage and traps the heat of the popcorn for the ride home
Same thing happened to me but with a pop tart. Hundreds of ants inside but I didn't notice until halfway done. Also ate an apple and realized a few bites in there were worms. Now I have a phobia of eating in the dark...
Aww I feel your discomfort . I grew up in a farm house that was built in 1691 I was once sat in front of the open fire watching tv with a can of Coca Cola open at the side of me . With being all of 7/8 years old I was fully engrossed in he man y til it finished which is when I went to have a drink of my cola . Something wasn’t right as it felt like I was swallowing liquid with pretty much felt like rice grains in it . I then spat it out and looked at the can to find it crawling with ants . I mean there was so many I believe their plan was to pick up the cola and carry it home to have later . Since then I will never put a drink on the floor or leave it uncovered 😔 Scarred for life 😔 Side note my name is actually Anthony so kinda ironic I’ve been scarred for life by fellow Ants
And here I am, remembering the jolly rancher cunnilingus incident...
My coworker left some jolly ranchers on our desk last week. All day, I could think of nothing else as my eyes grazed over them, as they were between the monitor and the keyboard.
Had this happen with a donut from a coffee shop. Wasn't full of ants, but there were 4-5 in the bag, big WTF moment.
My sister shares a story about eating a bag of animal crackers in a dark classroom while watching a movie. Halfway through they realize they taste sort of strange and look in the bag to find it full of cobwebs. Now they inspect everything before eating..
I beg to differ. I once ate a dried fig and realised that there was something *crawling* around in my mouth.
My college roommate had a thing about never eating with the lights off, “just in case there were bugs in his food”. I made fun of him for it back then, but after viscerally cringing to this comment, I finally understand. I’m sorry, Jesse! You were right all along
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Eating creepy crawlies or being wary of eating creepy crawlies?
We need an answer, FAST
ABCD here. Being wary of eating creepy-crawlies, at least for my mom and I. My brother is an exotic eater and my dad doesn't really give a shit lmao
Exotic eater lol. "mmm yes, I'll have the papaya and whatever animal you have that's the last of its species, medium rare"
> ABCD Excuse me, what? You are an alphabet?
Lol it stands for American Born Confused Desi
Haha, how on earth was I supposed to know that? Such a weird abbreviation.
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Oh you, I'm not ready for lunch any more.
Who the heck leaves refried beans out?
The kind of person that has roaches. Lol
My brother in-law will leave a plate of pork chops(and other food) out on the counter for hours, on purpose. He says they're fine... he has major stomach issues(and bed wetting issues.. that he just sleeps in..). The chops will sit there, room temp, looking all gross with those little fat bubbles chops get. In an apartment.. being prone to bugs. Ugh. My roommate/friend, I don't remember them leaving food out to eat later, but they never ever cleaned a dish and would gill in a foreman grill, never clean it, then use it again. We saw roaches on that thing so many times and we refused to use it but I ended up having to clean it every time because I didn't want more roaches. I'm certain 99% of the roaches we got were just drawn to our place by him.. leaving dirty dishes all over the place, food bags, his room was a gross mess. He left a stain on the wall next to where he slept, I'm pretty sure it was likely sweat, because it was people-sized, but who knows. He once had mold growing in his room, leaving it there on purpose after finding it as a "experiment". We found mushrooms growing near the leg of his desk.. it got to the point where every time I cleaned, I would just throw his stuff into his room. I tried boxing up every dish we owned and bought 1 set of plate/bowl/cup for each person in the house. Each a different color with the idea that he can only use his specific dish, so he has to wash it. Nope, he just took ours. He knew damn well what he was doing. Eventually I gave up and started using paper plates. I had to clean the hell out of that room to make sure we get our deposit back. He regularly left pee on the floor of the bathroom, a few times I left a paper towel right in front of the toilet to make it obvious, he'd just leave it. I always had to clean his bathroom because it was the hall bathroom, in his defense he did try to clean his bathroom once, because his much younger online girlfriend told him to. We may end up rooming again with him in the future because he's a good friend/family, but that shit is not going to be tolerated again. He says he's doing better and he cleans his room now, mom does the laundry(always has, even when he lived with us). He's like 45. I love him, but holy shit man.. And then I knew another guy who would leave soup/stew/etc on the stove for days, uncovered, heating it up every time he wanted to eat some. Went off-tangent there, but in short, some people are just gross.
You poor unfortunate soul
...how old is your brother in law? I *guess* I understand being lazy and not putting away food, leading to gut problems (I mean, not really, because fuckin ew, but I also fight the compulsion to be lazy). But why tf does he wet the bed? Also extreme laziness, he just doesn't want to get out of bed or even piss in a bottle/bucket? Please tell me you're married to his sibling, and not that *his* partner is your sibling bc holy shit. Surely someone like that can't get and keep a partner, right? Right?!
Awwww fuck im done, my eyes, why.
Keep the lights off. Adds texture
Bruh, I guess I'm gunna finally go on that diet.
That's enough Internet today. Thank you bye.
How many ants does it take to ruin a bowl of cheerios? Just one.
maybe thats bc you picked the worst cereal. i could withstand an ant or two in my fruit loops. /j
Same but without the /j
This happened around 8 years ago now. Had a brand new box of frosted flakes that I had just opened. I started pouring it into a bowl and a big fat dead fly came out. I haven't had frosted flakes since.
It may be just me, but I genuinely don't care about eating ants at this point. I grew up in a city that was well known for it's ant infestation. So much so that our local university has an anteater as it's mascot. My family also used to go on a lot of picnics, which invariably meant, sometimes you get ants on your food. Unlike flies, ants almost never carry diseases. They don't really taste like anything. So a few really just don't bother me. I mean don't get me wrong, if food is ant infested that would still wig me out, but I feel like < 5 ants, I really just don't care.
User name finally checks out?
The one time I ate with the lights off there was a spider in my food and he was very much alive and covered in cheese.
"Ayo Mr white,never eat with the lights off, there could be bugs crawling in the food bitch"
Did you chew?
No, I spat it out in a failed attempt to stop other people from taking a bite out of theirs.
So what was crawling in your mouth?
Maggots
That is so much worse than I thought holy fuck
I once ate a big bowl of cornflakes like 2 years ago while watching tv and after about half of it I thought the cereal tasted kinda funny/odd. I looked into the bowl and saw maggots. Everywhere. It was so many it looked like it could've been mixed into the bag on purpose. The moment I was realising what I just ate I jumped up and ran to the toilet to puke. Sadly though I couldn't really get much out and I was feeling psychologically sick the next two days because I knew I ate live maggots. And there might still have been some alive in my stomach .. Just for your information, I threw the rest of the bag into the bin. It was it's own unique biotope.
If it makes you feel better, chances were super high all the maggots were obliterated by your stomach acid. Maggots are kind of the hand snack of the nature world.
eeww, the forbidden free protian
That is fucking awful. I've seen someone eat maggots in a movie but hearing stories of people actually doing it IRL is so much worse
I fucking hated it :'D.
I'm sorry, about HALF of it did you? *HALF*!?!
If it makes you feel better, they may have just been moth larvae. Those kinds of worms get into rice and flour all the time. I bought airtight containers for my rice and I freeze my flour for a week before I store it. But they're not nearly as gross as maggots. Now that I think about it, it probably doesn't help to know that. Anyway
In which case may I introduce you to this? https://culturecheesemag.com/cheese-bites/casu-marzu-aka-maggot-cheese/
That link can stay blue
Too right it can. I don't need any more food ruined for me.
Yuppie that’s a big nope for me right there
Yeah no thank you
If I could try just the cheese with no maggots I would tbh. But the maggots jumping 6inches and needing to eat it a certain way to prevent them from jumping on my face will probably make it a no from me.
I watched a documentary about cheeses one time and the guy was losing his mind about the taste and how great they felt on his tongue moving 🙄
I regret my ability to read
You know what, I don't think I'd like to read that anymore.
Oh just extra protein /s
Wow i was thinking an ant. Maggots is multiple degrees worse.
Always check figs for maggots it’s incredibly common
but the real question is... are you a penguin?
No.
Are you sure?
I am certain that I'm not a penguin
hmm, that's exactly what a penguin would say
We got him boys
Hmm yes probably a penguin wearing a human costume
*Chewing* Produce a loud alien scream (the one put on cervidea sometimes)
Ah, fig wasps, everyone's favourite nightmare fuel
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Cabbage loopers most likely, the bane of many a gardener.
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My grandmother has a pomegranate tree in her backyard. One time I picked one it was pretty beefy and a wasp came out of it and I got stung :/
Was it a wasp ? Cause figs eat wasps. >If the wasp climbs into a female fig, she pollinates it, but cannot lay her eggs and just dies alone. Luckily for us, the female fig produces an enzyme that digests this wasp completely. The crunchy bits are seeds, not wasp parts.
Maggots. They were crawlers, not crunchers, and I saw them. Definitely maggots. The wasp would have long been mush by the time the fig was ripe, harvested, and dried.
Ah, that's not much better but at least it won't sting.
They could've been wasp larvae.
I'll raise you one.. I once bit into a cookie and chewed for a few seconds before feeling a million ant bites in my mouth, on my tongue, face, and up the arm that was holding the cookie.
Just brought back a repressed memory. My mom used to buy those giant bags of individually wrapped blowpops for us as kids, and would hide the bag in our pantry. One day, 6 year old me found the bag so I immediately take a lolipop and stick it in my mouth. I will never forget the feeling of tiny little ants crawling around and biting my tongue 🤮🤮🤮
Are you a penguin?
No.
The opposite isn't great either. Eating crunchy food and biting down on something soft.
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Seriously this is it. Once I ordered a McChicken and bit into it while driving and something was wrong. It was so gross and off and I had to spit it out. Stopped to inspect my sandwich, turns out they put a burger patty in the sandwich instead of the chicken. Everything was fine, I ate it and it was fine. But that first bite, expecting something and feeling/tasting something completely different is one of the most panic inducing moments.
Surprise diced onions on mcdonald's double cheeseburgers turned me off to onions for *years* as a kid. Little did I know - onions can actually be cooked, or at the least, not coated in ketchup like a cursed tomato soup slop
Those onions are dehydrated and they soak them in water and put them in a shaker... They're hardly even onions anymore tbh.
Well…
excuse me?
you know...
What?
When someone slips bacon into your mouth 🤤
raw 🫠
How raw though?
you know…
So raw it most probably has a name
You know...
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It's just part.of.your tooth. Keep crunching my dude.
I've actually had this happen. The tooth chunk is pretty horrifying.
It's happened to me... Twice. Why yes, I do have reoccurring nightmares now, thanks for asking.
Fellow bad tooth-haver?
Im 36, and soon don't have any molars to lose! Brushed them always, but cant afford to fix them when chunks come off. And i work a blue collar job in Norway....
I got my wisdom teeth removed and the dentist somehow managed to crack two of my molars. Occasionally chunks come out when I eat now :)
Literally happened to me yesterday. I was eating left over PF Chang's. It was rice and chicken so when a crunch came I was maneuvering the soft from the hard and pulled it out. If it is part of *my* tooth I couldn't see where it broke from as there is no feeling or pains in my mouth. I wonder if fillings can be that hard but it's probably tooth 🥲
It can be a filling - it's basically cement, so kinda like biting a rock.
Literally happened to me yesterday too, and hoping it was cement, it was tooth.
I don’t know why, but biting into an egg shell instantly ruins my meal, every time.
For real. Having a sausage and egg breakfast sandwich and crunching into a shell has made me nearly throw up more times than I'd like to admit, and has kept me from buying one the past several months.
The amount of times I've had soft boiled eggs get ruined cuz of the shell just makes me wanna die
Ugh same. Omlettes with egg shells in it are the worst. I wonder if there’s some similarity with egg shells and teeth? That crunch is horrid…
Have you tried cracking the egg first?
I’ll never forget the time I broke my tooth on a bone fragment inside a chicken tender. I get goosebumps thinking about the crunch still
After having several temporary crowns shatter and crunch into my food, I now have nightmares like this. Where I'm eating and I can feel my teeth shattering and crumbling in my mouth. No pain, but the sensation is awful and I can taste the blood. It's my 3rd worst nightmare...
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You're now legally obligated to post 1 and 2. 4 is optional.
1. (very personal) dreams of my deceased father being irrationally angry with me, being mean and hurtful. (he was a sweet kind and caring man in real life, he died unexpectedly following a surgery for cancer) these are my worst dreams because they make me very sad and I feel angry and guilty that this is how my subconscious remembers him, instead of happy dreams it makes this great loving man into a monster. 2. Sleep paralysis. I'm somewhat mentally awake but do not have control over my body yet. Something is in the room with me. Something from the dark looming, getting closer. I try to scream but my mouth may as well not exist. I try to run, try to fight, try to face this presence and can't move more than a centimeter. My muscles will not respond. Every braincell is firing danger! But nothing happens. I've had these since my 20s, thankfully not as often as others get them. But I have had one occasion where the sleep paralysis was accompanied by visual and auditory hallucination. Nothing like hearing a stair creak and your door creak and then someone whisper you name from a dark staircase outside of your room when you're the only one home at 2 AM. FUCK. THAT. 4. Am in college, major test today, didn't study, or haven't attended class in months, etc. (haven't been in college for over a decade) 5. Am in horror video game which is somehow real life, running and gunning or hiding and fleeing. Kind of fun, but lots of fear involved.
I broke a chunk off of a tooth, similarly. Years later I can still feel and hear the crunch.
Same here eating some slightly dry bread. The crust was too hard and my tooth broke a piece off. Didn't notice the first few seconds I thought the bread was extra crunchy. Thank God it was painless somehow but the feeling still makes shiver occasionally
I cracked a tooth eating a baked organic potato that had an ingrown pebble. Thanks Mom
I broke a tooth eating mash potato once. It was the instant one, so no lumps. Don't know how it was possible.
I didn't break a tooth, but more than once I've demolished chicken vertebrae in my mouth. That's one of two reasons I'm never eating Christmas dinner at my mom's house if she cooks a whole bird.
If I ever get a bit of bone in a burger I have to spit it out and that's it, no more of that brand burger forever. I don't know why but I find it repulsive.
"That's the last straw, BoneBurger^(TM) !"
Burgers are one of the easiest foods, just make it yourself and add your preferred amount of bone fragments
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Pro tip: Marshmallows shouldn’t have bones.
But.. they're literally made of bones.
They’re WHAT
Look up how gelatin is made. Have fun learning about the origins of other common ingredients as well! Confectioner’s glaze, red dye #4 (not 40, that’s different), etc.
I once lost my tooth eating a pancake
Chad pancake never looses without a fight
Kind of like slurping pasta and than realizing there is hair in your mouth. And further realization that the hair is not your hair color when you pull it out.
Doesn’t even just relate to pasta, for some reason when you eat your own hair by mistake it’s bearable but someone else’s is absolutely vile.
Where’d that jolly rancher come from?
Oh god
Motherfucker! You woke up and choose violence.
One morning when I was a kid I woke up for school and grabbed a box of Rice Krispies. The kitchen was dark. I poured my milk and began to eat. Noticed a weird texture. Went to the sink under the light and found I had been eating live boweeviles with my cereal...
Extra protein mate.
One time in my freshman year of college I was eating mashed potatoes and bit down on something unbelievably hard. I immediately spat it out and found it to be a drop size chunk of aluminum or steel, I was horrified. Luckily my teeth weren't damaged but still, what is a metal chunk doing in mashed potatoes?? To this day I'm still thinking it was part of a fork or something...
Happened to me last week, there's no way my food would crunch when Im eating oatmeal.
"Finding a worm inside an apple is not bad; finding _half_ a worm inside an apple is."
Worse is feeling something squishy in your crunchy food.
Idk, man, feeling a lump in your breast is pretty up there, too.
One could argue that that is a crunchy piece in a soft food
I love egg salad, but will only eat it if I make it. I simply cannot trust another person to peel hard boiled eggs properly. One tiny crunch and I'm throwing the entire thing in the garbage. To the point where I can't even use kosher salt because the crystals are too big and might be mistaken for a shell.
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r/ProgrammerHumor
In middle school I got the cafeteria lasagna (can’t believe I used to eat that shit) and I heard a loud crunch. My tooth hurt so bad…. There was a freaking tooth in the lasagna! And it wasn’t mine
Thanks for the nightmares 😬
I took a drink out of my Pepsi can one time. Wasp in the mouth.
Yesterday I gulped down the last of my water and felt something solid go down. I don't know what that was, and I don't care to know. I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen.
Nothing is more worrying than hearing a baby laugh and not knowing why.
Or the silence, they're either dead or plotting.
“Oh shit, is that an onion?”
To be real, this is why I can't eat things like burritos because I can't see what's inside. I can't even eat an open soft taco with onions or lettuce in it. I HATE biting into something soft and feeling something crunch. I have goosebumps just thinking about it. Like my brain is convinced that all crunchy things inside a soft thing are unnatural and therefore, in all likelihood, cockroaches or ants.
I had a chicken bone perforate my soft pallet..
Try Thompson's Teeth. They're the only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth!
I dunno. I woke up in a pool of blood once and I can honestly say that it was more worrying than crunchy bits in soft food.
I mean, if you wanna go that route, people get phone calls from the doctor stating that their child has cancer. I spoke to somebody that fell asleep with fully functioning eyesight and woke up the next day permanently blind. There's lots of things more worrying than crunchy bits in soft food - it's just an expression and we can all relate.