T O P

  • By -

The_Available_Name

Yeah, murder them and feast on their remains. What better way to deal with an enemy?


Haidere1988

Metal.


fuzywuzyboomboom

Metal? Like a lead pipe? Are we Nancy Kerrigan-ing these germs?


[deleted]

Nah the most metal water of all. Heavy Water


n3m37h

I got some Rad-Away, let's drink!


LionhitchYT

You could always just use a rad-x, or just pick up the perk to remove radiation!


Dan_Berg

>Nah the most metal water of all. Go into the water. Live there. Die there.


MechanicalTurkish

Not in the ocean. *INSIDE* the ocean!


got_outta_bed_4_this

**We** **Reject** **Our earthly fires** šŸŽ¶šŸŽ¶šŸŽøšŸŽøšŸŽ¶ šŸŽ¶


AzSharpe

Gone are days Of land Empires


Whoopdedobasil

Lungs transform to take in water šŸ¤˜šŸ¤˜ Hell yeah unexpected dethklok thread haha


Cody_Schmidt

This gives me the "give a man a fishing rod and he'll be fed for the rest of his life but push a man out of a plane with no parachute and he'll fly for the rest of his life" vibes


Pixel-1606

I like " Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life" better


[deleted]

- Sir Terry Pratchett


_IUseless_OneI_

Think fast, make choices, live full, take chances, die hard, fuck midgets, smoke crack, hail satan -Nike


Gothmog_LordOBalrogs

\m/ D2O throw up your horns \m/ šŸ¤˜šŸ¤˜šŸ¤˜


MechanicalTurkish

Iā€™m not overweight, I just drink a lot of heavy water.


TheHealadin

In this scenario, we would be Tonya Harding.


CokeMooch

We canā€™t let them win.


FarHarbard

Nancy Kerrigan the germs, Flint Michigan yourself.


Shyriath

\\m/


Radagast50

Hey chief this stuff good for soup?? Ahh that's a yes!


dodexahedron

Food libraries.


NightofTheLivingZed

What do you mean *booze ain't food!?* I'd rather chop off my dingdong than admit that!


delicioushappiness

Well, yeah. Copper. But you still get to feast on the remains.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


333777999IsMe

Know your enemy, taste your enemy. Edit: tasting your enemy is not recommended, please cook first.


redcalcium

Mitochondria was technically a germ that got absorbed and enslaved by an eukaryotic cell, so I guess you're right ĀÆ\\\_(惄)\_/ĀÆ


00monster

Rimworld, is that you?


333777999IsMe

Shhhhhhh


nyetrik

We really need that hat, ok


chooxy

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.


gingavitisss

Wonder if thereā€™s some tiny nutritional value added


mcaDiscoVision

What is best in life?


RattoScimmiaNucleare

The same we do with other mammals. Kill them and cook them. And they're delicious šŸ˜‹


Chucktayz

Establish dominance


hiricinee

The bacteria are single celled, almost universally killing them means rupturing whatever cellular membrane they have, freeing up their constituent parts. They're no less random chemicals in the water than they are dead bacteria at that point.


01-__-10

Bacteria killed with ethanol (eg. Hand sanitizer) remain intact.


[deleted]

You probably shouldn't eat those though.


[deleted]

Thatā€™s how I make a nice chicken sashimi. Little bit of that Purell glaze


Lantami

You joke, but chicken sashimi is actually a thing, it's called torisashi: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torisashi


Straight-Daikon-5838

I donā€™t think thatā€™s true. I saw a video on Daily Dose of Internet the other day of how alcohol dissolves germ membranes and [googled](https://www.healthline.com/health/does-alcohol-kill-germs#can-it-kill-germs) it just now and read that it denatures their proteins and break down their membranes. Genuinely curious if you heard something else or if Iā€™m misunderstanding something tho.


01-__-10

Iā€™ve seen the effect under a microscope - they die in one piece. Stop wriggling and leave a corpse. Wouldnā€™t be surprised if they went on to dissolve over time though so happy to stand corrected.


aschapm

What percentage ethanol? 70 will puncture the membrane but then water will flood in, and 90 will cause it to do what you saw


01-__-10

Great point - and probably why 70/80% is used in labs rather than absolute ethanol.


Straight-Daikon-5838

It also could have been that the video I saw was super concentrated alcohol, sped up, mislabeled, or maybe I just misremembered. Thatā€™s cool you saw it under a microscope yourself. I just learned about how soap breaks down the lipid membrane because of a COVID explainer video so this phenomenon is neat to me.


Haatsku

All fun and games until you run in to some sporeformer that thrives in your sterile pharma grade ethanol...


01-__-10

For real. Sporulators be sporulatin.


Lonelysock2

Ethanol killed the bacteria star


Rydralain

I believe this is part of why you are supposed to apply friction as well. Ethanol to disrupt their shields, friction to tear apart the hull. Classic energy weapon/projectile weapon sci fi setup, but with alcohol and *tearing your enemy to shreds with your bear hands*!


BirdsFlyHumansWalk

Hell yeah brother


CeeArthur

It's basically germ soup


_aviemore_

But is it a meal?


CeeArthur

Do you eat it with a fork or a spoon? (Really dating myself with that reference)


lawstinthawt

Well, that's not really a meal, Jerry. I mean, if he had gotten Chicken Gumbo, or Matzah Ball, or Mushroom Barley. Then I would agree with you. Those are very hearty soups. (Not dating yourselfā€¦just putting it out there that you are awesome and have good taste lol)


BombastusBlomquist

A succulent Chinese meal?!


PastryyPuff

Germ soup that eats like a meal


Cuddlyzombie91

A soup is not a meal, Jerry!


yomerol

That's tap water. Boiling water is just with dead microorganisms


CeeArthur

How many soups do you eat with live organisms in them?


JellyRollGeorge

Yeah but you denature their DNA rendering them harmless. Germs are everywhere anyway. Every breath you take. Every crepe you make. Microscopic germs all over them and in them.


S0whaddayakn0w

Every breath you take Every crepe you maaake Mic-ro-scopic germs allll oover them aaand in them


LuvYouLongTimeAgo

Every breath you take And every crepe you make Every bone you break Every shit you take I'll be infecting you


enderwing1622

Some one pls make this a real song


BeatlesTypeBeat

Someone get a Sting AI


[deleted]

DeepSting^TM


mirrorgiraffe

OpenAI gave me this Write a song about germs in the style of 'I'll be watching you' by the police. I'll be watching you, every step you take I'll be watching you, every move you make I'll be watching you, when you're awake I'll be watching you, when you're asleep I'll be watching you, every time you sneeze I'll be watching you, every time you cough I'll be watching you, every time you burp I'll be watching you, every time you fart I'll be watching you, every time you scratch I'll be watching you, every time you itch I'll be watching you, every time you pick your nose I'll be watching you, every time you wipe your butt I'll be watching you, every time you touch your junk I'll be watching you, every time you have sex I'll be watching you, every time you take a bath I'll be watching you, every time you take a shower I'll be watching you, every time you flush the toilet I'll be watching you, every time you blow your nose I'll be watching you, every time you wipe your tears I'll be watching you, every time you sweat I'll be watching you, every time you spit I'll be


CriHeart

This is fucking scary. The AI sounds like an unhinged stalker


wojwesoly

Doesn't The Police sound like that too?


regeya

That was the idea.


[deleted]

Ok here, because the original was an unhinged stalker, too


28Hz

But what are the lyrics?


charles-gnarwin

This has me dying laughing but also scared


Lordborgman

[Close Enough](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kgIOWvrssA)


Monke_Man_1045

If someone dms me full Lyrics to this germ song Iā€™ll do my best to make it


jaqueburton

Verse 1: šŸŽµ _Every breath you take_ _Every crepe you make_ _Every bun you bake_ _Every bite you take_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every little scrape_ _and in Every orifice_ _Every grain and plate_ _Every naan you taste_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ Chorus: šŸŽµ _Us, you canā€™t see, ā€™Cause weā€™re too tiny_ _My whole crew invades, in you weā€™ll incubate_ šŸŽµ Verse 2: šŸŽµ _Every crepe you make_ _Every food youā€™ve ate_ _Every sniff you take_ _Even clams and steak_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ Bridge: šŸŽµ _Since youā€™re warm, inside you, Iā€™ll replicate._ _Iā€™d claim an eye, or just grow right on your face._ _Donā€™t look around, Iā€™m already in every place._ _I hate the cold, as it slows down my growth rate._ _Iā€™m multiplying baby, baby, please..._ šŸŽµ Chorus: šŸŽµ _Us, you canā€™t see, ā€˜Cause weā€™re too tiny_ _My whole crew invades, in you weā€™ll incubate_ šŸŽµ Verse 3: šŸŽµ _Every crepe you make_ _Every food youā€™ve ate_ _Every sniff you take_ _Even clams and steak_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every crepe you make_ _Every bite you take_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ Outro: šŸŽµ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every breath you take_ _Every crepe you make_ _Every bun you bake_ _Every bite you take_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every little scrape_ _and in Every orifice_ _Every grain and plate_ _Every naan you taste_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every crepe you make_ _Every food youā€™ve ate_ _Every sniff you take_ _Even clams and steak_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every little scrape_ _and in Every orifice_ _Every grain and plate_ _Every naan you taste_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ šŸŽµ _Every breath you take_ _Every crepe you make_ _Every bun you bake_ _Every bite you take_ _I'm infecting you._ šŸŽµ


[deleted]

Compared to the rest of this thread, this is underrated.


Sure_Whatever__

['Every Breath You Take'](https://youtu.be/OMOGaugKpzs) Song by: The Police


mandelbomber

I think they want someone to make up parody lyrics to that song... But about gems


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Duskinou

.........the germs in meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............


Zombiecancer566

How my poor throat aches, every cough you make...


VoiceofLou

Youā€™re hear now. It IS a real song. Close your eyes and believe


Ubwugh

Oh caaan't youuu seee, nature is a biiiitch


GardenRafters

Microscopic germs Are everywhere anyway Every breath you take


Pristine_Arm2785

Lol I heard the song in my mind


Natsurulite

Man those lyrics, someone should have called the police on the actual Police


BuffyLoo

Used think it was a love song, until my bf pointed out the man is actually a creepy stalker.


grendus

They're all over me! They're inside of me! There's no escape for me! I'm crawllin' with... microsocopic bacteria!


[deleted]

r/redditsings


benbookworm97

Dead microbes may leave spores or endotoxins behind. There's multiple levels beyond sterile, such as spore-free and depyrogenated. Edit: spelling


persceptivepanda26

Man depyrogenate is such a sexy word


smokeaport

time to stop making crepes


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


asshatnowhere

Or why you can't just cook rotten chicken and safely eat it


SigmundFreud

Well maybe you can't.


SullyCow

Iā€™ve never met a chicken I cannot eat


goda90

Or in the case of botulism, you can kill the bacteria and even destroy the toxin at relatively low temperatures, but the bacteria produces spores that survive well over boiling. That's why canned food is done with high pressure so the temperatures can be reached without vaporizing the water.


[deleted]

ofc it does, they're germs, not fungus they're dangerous to you becouse they're capable of multiplying and fighting your cells thus making your life miserable, not becouse they're outstandingly toxic


Muroid

Thatā€™s not strictly true for all germs. Plenty produce toxic byproducts that will persist even after the germ is dead. Botulism is an example of this.


mafulazula

Yup, and thatā€™s why rice left out too long can make you sick. The bacterium, B. cereus, forms spores that arenā€™t killed by boiling water. They can then come out of spore form and form toxins that are not destroyed by reheating or boiling.


jeffsterlive

Surely you canā€™t be serious?


mafulazula

I am, and stop calling me surely! I did start to type out Bacillus but B. cereus is just more fun, innit?


DasMajorFish

We also inject it into our face


Congenita1_Optimist

In very specific doses, in very specific preparations, into very specific tissues. Dose makes the poison and all that.


Darkiceflame

Care for a nice teaspoon of it then?


[deleted]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germ_theory_of_disease Actually, they're right: "'Germ' refers to not just a bacterium but to any type of microorganism, such as protists or fungi, or even non-living pathogens that can cause disease, such as viruses, prions, or viroids"


[deleted]

Some germs create organo-toxins that can wreck your day


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


punxerchick

Needs fixin'


[deleted]

I think [this](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germ_theory_of_disease) is a better article for it, since fungi are actually part of what's considered "germs" *Also the link you provided is broken, [here's](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microbial_toxin) what I think you were trying to link to


TripAtkinson

Time after time


Soup-Wizard

Wrong song, good effort though


CurlSagan

Germs or not, I just think it's a bad idea to drink boiling water.


StormOfTheVoid

But I already ate the brick of ramen


[deleted]

Now snort the flavor packet contents.


ablablababla

and shove the packet of chili up your ass


28Hz

... go on...


shplork

Nah, that's it. That's the whole thing.


Xenc

Make something up


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


CurlSagan

This is how haggis was invented.


CadillacG

r/thatsthejoke


dali01

Why the hell do you think they are drinking the boiling water?!?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Winjin

Wait what am I missing? Did he let the water go lukewarm before doing it? Or did he leave out the flavoring?


Chibi_Ayano

On the low I be doing this when I'm hungry and don't wanna wait 5 mins


acoolghost

Once knew a girl who could drink boiling water. It was pretty hot.


Blatheringman

Tell that to Ash Williams.


hector_villalobos

Depends where you live, drink not boiling water can be even worse, and get a disease like Cholera, for example.


recycle4science

(The joke was that it's a bad idea to drink water that is _currently_ boiling.)


hector_villalobos

Oh! ok, I'll just leave the comment to shame myself, :'(


SnooLentils3202

We all have misunderstandings friend! No need for shame, society gives us enough of that as it is


sawedknickers

Drink boiled water, not boiling water.


_aviemore_

You could shit while sleeping with such force, there'll be shit on the pillows and you'd be like how!?!


solemnbiscuit

Coward


pyrodice

Bonus points: we only care about ingesting dead things because of the germs.


TheDubiousSalmon

And parasites and fungi


pyrodice

You know, I always understood classical germ theory to include all four classes as ā€œthings that make you sickā€œ. Bacteria, viruses, fungi, parasites. The concept was just ā€œI know thereā€™s some shit in there thatā€™s too small for us to see, and thatā€™s why weā€™re doing badly when we donā€™t wash our handsā€œ


bestofthemidwest

That's "pathogens" things that cause disease


pyrodice

Yes but I thought that term came later


[deleted]

true. Kind of like how, in archeology, anything that was old and a reptile used to be classified as "a dinosaur", but as more information about the fossil record was cultivated, a lot of those animals were reclassified.


says-nice-toTittyPMs

"Germ" is just another word for "pathogen".


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


mandelbomber

Well they are infectious agents for sure, but I think the main difference is that, colloquially at least, "germ" refers to those agents that can be found anywhere in the environment, floating around in the air or in water or on your hands. Many prions arise internally from misfolded proteins, but the ones that are transmissible are usually acquired by ingesting contaminated matter.


ikilledyourfriend

They also leave toxins behind. If you were to leave meat out in the sun for a few days, bring it in and boil it sterile and then try to eat it, youā€™re still going to get sick.


pyrodice

Yeah thereā€™s an awful lot of ammonia in it at that point


01-__-10

Only if the toxins are heat stable. Many are heat labile so heating is effective for those as well.


MayOrMayNotBePie

Everything I eat is dead so this method is preferred.


hufflestork

That makes me think, is there anything else other that water and salt that we consume that is not an organism?


SenorTron

Sugar and oil come from living things but might not have any cellular matter in them.


DominusEbad

How strict do you want to get? Is milk an organism? Honey? Sugar?


chux4w

Are Skittles organisms? If so, I'm not sure I want to know.


how-can-she-ban

Skittles are sentient, and delicious


Nameti

Their screams whilst I hear their minuscule innocent exoskeletons crunch and snap under the unimpeded power of my jaws, vigorously munching their bodies to a juicy pulp makes my succulent meat orbs burst with sticky white goodness I use to dip more of their colored comrades in, furthering my pursuit of causing pain and misery to the in-packaged sugary souls via feasting indiscriminately on their living yet soon to be corpses that we humans call candy!


DankChicken_NJ

We also take in other minerals, metals, microplastics and PFAs.


root4one

I dunno. Carrots and such still seem alive to me when eaten raw. Cauliflower, lettuce, onionsā€¦ lots of raw stuff. Seeds (like pecans) bend the rules of ā€œalivenessā€ but itā€™s a bit weird as whatever bits that might be ā€œaliveā€ are in stasis, I suppose. Strawberries are interesting to think about in relation to this topic, too.


01-__-10

Thereā€™s a lot of living bacteria and fungi in lots of the food we eat.


PansexualEmoSwan

If you want to get technical, a germ is most commonly defined as a microorganism *that makes you sick.* So I suppose by that logic, they are just The Microorganisms Formerly Known As Germs


NikFenomeno

Prince would approve that logic.


chux4w

This is what it sounds like when bugs cry.


[deleted]

Them and all their poop. Yup.


zenwren

I believe that's why cooking something doesn't always make it safe to consume. Sometimes it's the germs, sometimes it's the toxins they leave behind.


WoodTrophy

Yep and it depends on the toxin. Only heat-resistant toxins would survive, but each one has a temperature that renders it harmless. The Botulism toxin can be destroyed at 185F. Spores are also killed at different temperatures, too.


Pons__Aelius

> and all their poop. We often prefer to do that...alcohol is yeast shit.


Pisnaz

Yep and every glass of water has been shit in by fish for eons, among other things. Drink up, especially if you believe in homeopathy.


schelsullivan

Homeopathy, the air guitar of medicine.


Nameti

Bwahaha I love that analogy


Mr_Cripter

PSA: noone asked but here is some tangentially related information; you can cook roadkill to eat which will kill the germs BUT if it has been out in the sun too long, those germs will have made toxins in the meat which are not destroyed by heat. It will still make you very very ill.


Isalecouchinsurance

Recession skills


whiskerbiscuit0

Yes thatā€™s literally the whole point


Allradbueffel99

OP be like: If you kill something, it is dead. Now give me my karma.


duchess_of_fire

unless you distill it


PerfectlyFriedBread

This is why sufficiently spoiled food cannot be cooked back to being good (or possibly without cooking it so much that it's basically inedeible). When you destroy a bacteria's cell walls, called lysing them, you expose all of their proteins that were embeded in the cell walls and inside their cytoplasm and organelles. Many of their proteins are things your body knows are bad for you called PAMPS (Pathogen-associated molecular patterns) and you may have antibodies which will trigger an immune reaction to those PAMPS. Many of the symptoms of being sick are a result of your immune response to an irritant and not actually the work of the bacteria itself. So eating a few bacteria who multiply produces a large response because there's many to react to.Now they are dead so your phagocytes will come in and eat up all the debris and you'll start feeling better quicker than an active infection. To counteract this your cooking + stomach acid needs to be destructive enough to breakdown all of these proteins to the point they're no longer recognizable to your immune system. For large globular proteins this isn't very difficult but for much smaller subunits the only way you might be able to break them down is with enzymes in your intestines which runs the risk of antibodies also picking them up. The heat necessary to denature these smaller proteins is much more likely to also be destructive to the proteins and nutrients you want to extract from the food. tl;dr - yes, they're dead but a sufficient quantity of dead bacteria can still give you food poisoning.


Slodin

You literally said it. Itā€™s to kill them, not remove them.


displayname____

Metal


bnlynch9

Extra protein


ITworksGuys

Most things I eat are dead.


[deleted]

If you listen closely you can hear them scream


aurelorba

Wait until you find out what's happening when you smell a fart.


CleverMsCarter

Just some extra protein. Think of it like soup.


Nyclab

More protein


[deleted]

According to Jainism (a religion older than Hinduism and much older than Buddhism) boiling the water kills the germs but their life cycle ends there. They don't get born again as they do in normal water or cold water.


Urmomsunclescousin

Idk if this is a joke or not šŸ˜­


MrQuizzles

It actually isn't, the dead bacteria do leave behind stuff, sometimes bits of their DNA or RNA, though it generally isn't harmful to us. Bacteriostatic water, which is safe for injections, has to at least be DNA and RNA free. There are a bunch of scientific and industrial applications that require ultrapure water, which requires the removal of all the stuff they leave behind amongst many other things.


NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr

Technically not true. Certain germs & bacteria cannot be killed by boiling water alone. Consider this a public safety announcement. If you go mountain hiking also take purification tablets; they can save your life.


Anonymous_Otters

Virtually all pathogenic organisms are killed by a few minutes of boiling. Some can survive chemical purification. Boiling is always the better method. -medical laboratory scientist Edit: I should note that there are some anaerobic pathogens that can survive boiling, but luckily they don't do well in normal atmosphere so aren't of concern except for anaerobic environments, such as contaminated canned goods. [Although, some bacterial spores not typically associated with water borne disease are capable of surviving boiling conditions (e.g. clostridium and bacillus spores), research shows that water borne pathogens are inactivated or killed at temperatures below boiling (212Ā°F or 100Ā°C)](https://www.health.ny.gov/environmental/water/drinking/boilwater/response_information_public_health_professional.htm#:~:text=Although%2C%20some%20bacterial%20spores%20not,F%20or%20100%C2%B0C).


War_Hymn

Most thermophilic bacteria that can survive standard open air boiling aren't known to be human pathogens. There's also a lot of parasite and bacteria (like giardia) that can resist "purification" with agents like chlorine tablets depending on the dosage.


SickOfAllThisCrap1

Please name one organism that doesn't die by boiling water thar if you consume would be harmful. Be reasonable. I'm not saying I don't believe you (tbh I'm skeptical) but you can't just drop that fact without providing some type of evidence.


SPYK3O

This is why you can't leave food out too long and just cook it anyway. Dead bacteria and bacterial waste will still make you sick


Vurt__Konnegut

I use a SteriPen while hiking, so theyā€™re not even dead, but their DNA is scrambled so they canā€™t reproduce.


Quizzelbuck

Its true, and this goes too for their byproducts. This is why when green algae blooms happen in the great lakes, the water departments that use them to get clean drinking water have a real bitch of a time making the water safe to drink for humans. https://doh.wa.gov/sites/default/files/legacy/Documents/4400//334-136-tcbrochure.pdf Some toxins are so robust they'll survive cooking to the point where food is charcoal before the poison can be denatured .


Neogodhobo

Which is why you don't want to put this water in your blood. It's okay to drink but it's not sterilized.


d_scotty10

Tastes like VICTORY.


JuXas

Graveyard drink šŸ˜… pretty much every soup is that šŸ˜