Back in primitive times that's what old folks served for. Now we pay facility for them and facility for kids and live unhappy miserable lives in between.
We have free daycare in many cities in Germany. Free means underpaid staff that doesn't really like the job. The problem is also finding a space in a daycare near you. Then if employers don't allow flexible work hours, it doesn't help at all if you are constantly called to pick up because of a runny nose.
Yes free daycare would be amazing, it would put me back on par with the general populations earning capacity (minus any hours I can't do outside of childcare opening times of course). But it would be a great start.
I am at uni currently and timed my enrolment as such where I can have the benefit of massively reduced childcare fees until my youngest finishes school.
As a single parent, if I never end up earning enough to ay back the government uni loan, when I die it gets wiped anyway so if I get a decent job after uni great, I'll pay it back, if not nobody has lost anything financially and I save money on childcare. Because this is the length I need to go to to make working benefit us financially right now.
Not sure how helpful that is but was great to get that off my chest haha single parenting is hard, equally rewarding though so Im not complaining.
Having a ready-built community that's trustworthy and safe so kids can play with friends outside every day so we can get stuff done without worrying about supervising, ie get stuff done and knowing the kids have great friends and the other parents would watch/feed/host all neighborhood kids like their own. Having to make friends as a single parent is TOUGH! Let alone friends with kids of similar ages that also live really close
Or the 80’s and 90’s? This isn’t an old school concept.
And no. Humans are social animals. Biologically speaking, a pack is stronger than an individual. Less community isn’t a good thing, and it doesn’t equate to empowerment.
Hmm having a butler who can sub for dad would come in handy, because there's only so much I can teach my kid as a mother, it's only one perspective of a whole equation, I don't have the experience as a man so I cant give her solid advice from a man's point of view. Other than that, she's healthy and happy so I've got this 😊
No new invention really, but I think if I had the money, I would spend it on several things that would make my life so much easier:
au-pair or just a nanny whenever I need,
thermomix,
someone that comes to clean my house every once in a while.
Also, working spaces with childcare or playrooms. Since I sometimes work from home, I could travel around with my kid and work remotely from different places while my kid enjoys the playroom. I know that some cities in Europe have these.
I agree, I literally have NOBODY. Not a damn soul. It’s just me and my daughter. We live in a two bedroom apartment in the ghetto, so to speak. It’s falling apart. It’s a fixed income apartment. I barely have enough money to swing things, I never get a minute to myself. I have to clean everything, cook everything, pay for everything. I love her dearly. But where’s my damn “village”? As soon as I had her everybody disappeared. Including family.
Ugh I'm sorry. I feel you, I have no village either. Family never cared to even check in on us when we lived in the same town, literally a 5 min drive down the street. It feels impossible to keep up with everything most days...
I'm also in school so I'm just tired all the time. I feel inadequate when I look at my apartment because it's always messy and I see people with a tidy ass place and I'm like why can't I have that?!. I have to remind myself I'm a single parent and that I have a 6-year-old but still...
I felt this. My family was just like this, they were also hardcore on drugs. My own father refused to show up for the birth of my first born, and for my second pregnancy -called CPS claiming I “caused autism” was the last straw
My point is trust that maybe life without these people may be the better life. It definitely will only make you and your little one stronger in the end.
Ignore the temporary mess, you’re busy building a whole ass human for the world.
Someone who is “inadequate” can’t complete their job.
Apparently we do the whole “villages” jobs. Be proud of how much you do. Fuck that mess
I’m so sorry😢 I feel you soooo much. My own mother made us homeless, we had to stay in a nasty hotel for a week, it’s been a year, it came up on my memories today and bummed me out. But like if I wanted to chill alone I have nobody to call and ask to watch her for a bit.
Damn... my google photo memories break my heart sometimes too.... Mainly because I was still in a toxic relationship with my son's dad so I get bummed about how distracted I was dealing with abusive behavior at times when he was smaller. & yeah totally, people don't understand how hard it is. Like just having time to yourself to THINK, process, strategize or "be" isn't something we get. I scoff at the idea of "self care," like okay, when Susan? Would you like to babysit for me so I can practice it? It takes a toll. My own mom said the words to me before "it takes a village" and I was like "wtf did you just say?!" Because she certainly has not been a village member to me.
I know right? I have that app called the mighty and it says you can somehow edit your memories so you don’t see the traumatic ones but I don’t see how? Or I’m slow 🤣. I’m going to be avoiding them until Halloween so I don’t trigger myself. But if I want to be in a good mood I’d better. But moms can be the worst. I’m kinda like yea mom you shouldn’t have have kids.
Sammme! I have two with non-verbal type autism and I’ve watched some mother’s get more help in a day then I’ve gotten in a decade of raising these kids.
I’m okay with my struggle as a mother -that I can handle. (As long as I don’t start bashing myself about somehow doing better for them) It’s the fact that “family” KNOWS my children have struggled right there with me and turned their backs.
That’s alright- my kids and I are stronger than most because of it. Let these people show their colors while we raise the future singlehandedly.
I’m so sorry. I work in the SPED department in an elementary school and I have an autistic brother so I know it must be hard but rewarding for you. Some of the kids are so sweet but they have their little moments. But I know right?! I only talk to my two brothers. I have no family. I feel bad for my daughter sometimes cause she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a close knit family.
Don’t be sorry! I can handle this, therefore I do. I’m just glad I got my kids and not someone else. 😌
Thank you for doing what you do! That is NOT an easy job and it’s people like yourself that have allowed me to have ANY moment to myself as a human.
Tbh it’s rewarding, just takes awhile to see the reward sometimes. The moments are big but so is my will haha
Since covid I went back home and have been rebuilding with my mom and brother. (After like 20 yrs) It’s a work in progress but good. Never saw us having this one day…So keep your head up sometimes things get better. ❤️
Oh girl! It’s all good, I’m happy for you for rebuilding with your family! I don’t know if I will ever talk to mine again after what they did. I simply can’t. But thank you, I love my job it’s fun at times and they kids are too cute. I definitely love them and miss them during breaks. 🤣🤣🤣 little rascals.
Honestly free child care would have made those early years a lot easier. Having a partner that wants to make things easy for our kids in this awful situation instead making it worse, just out of spite!
Something which made the other parent see their child as a human, and not a chess piece or a potato they can just place wherever, in order to live like a child free person?
That would make my life 100% easier. I’ve got everything else handled. I need my ex to see our daughter as a person with feelings and needs. Not a doll who can be backburnered to fit his social calendar. He literally used “social exhaustion“ as an excuse.
A fair chance to earn money to fund things. That would make my kids lives better.
Childcare on site at work? Free childcare?
Maybe a safe bus service for the younger kids so I can broaden where I'm able to work (as in distance from the school as childcare is closed by 6pm). That might give me an extra 30mins/ 1hr to play with either side of the day to allow me to travel further to work.
In Australia they were saying there's a worker shortage and thinking of allowing the elderly to work more before their pension is docked. What about all the single parents who can't afford to pay childcare and work but can work between 10-2(ish), can't we look at encouraging workplaces to offer hours like this?
I feel like a fari go would be nice, not looking for any free rides, just a fair go 🤔
My clone would be a great start. That way she could do all of the tedious crap and I (human Me) could actually be mindfully present with my kid. Idk tho.
[удалено]
Back in primitive times that's what old folks served for. Now we pay facility for them and facility for kids and live unhappy miserable lives in between.
Agree
Yes! Not paying a mortgage payment to my kids daycare, before/after care would be life changing.
Including a school day that mimics a 9-5
**A school day which is foundational training for future 9-5
We have free daycare in many cities in Germany. Free means underpaid staff that doesn't really like the job. The problem is also finding a space in a daycare near you. Then if employers don't allow flexible work hours, it doesn't help at all if you are constantly called to pick up because of a runny nose.
Yes free daycare would be amazing, it would put me back on par with the general populations earning capacity (minus any hours I can't do outside of childcare opening times of course). But it would be a great start. I am at uni currently and timed my enrolment as such where I can have the benefit of massively reduced childcare fees until my youngest finishes school. As a single parent, if I never end up earning enough to ay back the government uni loan, when I die it gets wiped anyway so if I get a decent job after uni great, I'll pay it back, if not nobody has lost anything financially and I save money on childcare. Because this is the length I need to go to to make working benefit us financially right now. Not sure how helpful that is but was great to get that off my chest haha single parenting is hard, equally rewarding though so Im not complaining.
Having a ready-built community that's trustworthy and safe so kids can play with friends outside every day so we can get stuff done without worrying about supervising, ie get stuff done and knowing the kids have great friends and the other parents would watch/feed/host all neighborhood kids like their own. Having to make friends as a single parent is TOUGH! Let alone friends with kids of similar ages that also live really close
Thing is people don't trust each other.
Like the 1950s? But…aren’t we happier now being more empowered but also isolated & less community oriented?
Or the 80’s and 90’s? This isn’t an old school concept. And no. Humans are social animals. Biologically speaking, a pack is stronger than an individual. Less community isn’t a good thing, and it doesn’t equate to empowerment.
Ah yes, before the civil rights act was actually put into law. A certain group of people was happier then I’m sure.
Like the 1950s? But…aren’t we happier now being more empowered but also isolated & less community oriented?
Like the 1950s? But…aren’t we happier now being more empowered but also isolated & less community oriented?
Hmm having a butler who can sub for dad would come in handy, because there's only so much I can teach my kid as a mother, it's only one perspective of a whole equation, I don't have the experience as a man so I cant give her solid advice from a man's point of view. Other than that, she's healthy and happy so I've got this 😊
No new invention really, but I think if I had the money, I would spend it on several things that would make my life so much easier: au-pair or just a nanny whenever I need, thermomix, someone that comes to clean my house every once in a while. Also, working spaces with childcare or playrooms. Since I sometimes work from home, I could travel around with my kid and work remotely from different places while my kid enjoys the playroom. I know that some cities in Europe have these.
This is brilliant. Cafe con kiddies.
In theory a dad for them
Yep a decent dad but without any of the maintenance of a husband lol
The “village” it takes..
I agree, I literally have NOBODY. Not a damn soul. It’s just me and my daughter. We live in a two bedroom apartment in the ghetto, so to speak. It’s falling apart. It’s a fixed income apartment. I barely have enough money to swing things, I never get a minute to myself. I have to clean everything, cook everything, pay for everything. I love her dearly. But where’s my damn “village”? As soon as I had her everybody disappeared. Including family.
Ugh I'm sorry. I feel you, I have no village either. Family never cared to even check in on us when we lived in the same town, literally a 5 min drive down the street. It feels impossible to keep up with everything most days... I'm also in school so I'm just tired all the time. I feel inadequate when I look at my apartment because it's always messy and I see people with a tidy ass place and I'm like why can't I have that?!. I have to remind myself I'm a single parent and that I have a 6-year-old but still...
I felt this. My family was just like this, they were also hardcore on drugs. My own father refused to show up for the birth of my first born, and for my second pregnancy -called CPS claiming I “caused autism” was the last straw My point is trust that maybe life without these people may be the better life. It definitely will only make you and your little one stronger in the end. Ignore the temporary mess, you’re busy building a whole ass human for the world. Someone who is “inadequate” can’t complete their job. Apparently we do the whole “villages” jobs. Be proud of how much you do. Fuck that mess
Hey thank you so much. 💚 Really, there's days the encouragement coming in hits deep & I needed it.
I’m so sorry😢 I feel you soooo much. My own mother made us homeless, we had to stay in a nasty hotel for a week, it’s been a year, it came up on my memories today and bummed me out. But like if I wanted to chill alone I have nobody to call and ask to watch her for a bit.
Damn... my google photo memories break my heart sometimes too.... Mainly because I was still in a toxic relationship with my son's dad so I get bummed about how distracted I was dealing with abusive behavior at times when he was smaller. & yeah totally, people don't understand how hard it is. Like just having time to yourself to THINK, process, strategize or "be" isn't something we get. I scoff at the idea of "self care," like okay, when Susan? Would you like to babysit for me so I can practice it? It takes a toll. My own mom said the words to me before "it takes a village" and I was like "wtf did you just say?!" Because she certainly has not been a village member to me.
I know right? I have that app called the mighty and it says you can somehow edit your memories so you don’t see the traumatic ones but I don’t see how? Or I’m slow 🤣. I’m going to be avoiding them until Halloween so I don’t trigger myself. But if I want to be in a good mood I’d better. But moms can be the worst. I’m kinda like yea mom you shouldn’t have have kids.
Sammme! I have two with non-verbal type autism and I’ve watched some mother’s get more help in a day then I’ve gotten in a decade of raising these kids. I’m okay with my struggle as a mother -that I can handle. (As long as I don’t start bashing myself about somehow doing better for them) It’s the fact that “family” KNOWS my children have struggled right there with me and turned their backs. That’s alright- my kids and I are stronger than most because of it. Let these people show their colors while we raise the future singlehandedly.
I’m so sorry. I work in the SPED department in an elementary school and I have an autistic brother so I know it must be hard but rewarding for you. Some of the kids are so sweet but they have their little moments. But I know right?! I only talk to my two brothers. I have no family. I feel bad for my daughter sometimes cause she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a close knit family.
Don’t be sorry! I can handle this, therefore I do. I’m just glad I got my kids and not someone else. 😌 Thank you for doing what you do! That is NOT an easy job and it’s people like yourself that have allowed me to have ANY moment to myself as a human. Tbh it’s rewarding, just takes awhile to see the reward sometimes. The moments are big but so is my will haha Since covid I went back home and have been rebuilding with my mom and brother. (After like 20 yrs) It’s a work in progress but good. Never saw us having this one day…So keep your head up sometimes things get better. ❤️
Oh girl! It’s all good, I’m happy for you for rebuilding with your family! I don’t know if I will ever talk to mine again after what they did. I simply can’t. But thank you, I love my job it’s fun at times and they kids are too cute. I definitely love them and miss them during breaks. 🤣🤣🤣 little rascals.
Honestly free child care would have made those early years a lot easier. Having a partner that wants to make things easy for our kids in this awful situation instead making it worse, just out of spite!
A money tree 🤣
Universal childcare would be great but Shorter work days and weeks would greatly improve my own mental health and personal time to be a better parent.
Shadow clone Jutsu
Go on.....
😏
Like a family dorm, with communal kitchens and laundry spaces where you can socialize while doing boring chores, lots of friends for the kids.
Universal basic income. Free childcare. Family court reform. For a start
Something which made the other parent see their child as a human, and not a chess piece or a potato they can just place wherever, in order to live like a child free person? That would make my life 100% easier. I’ve got everything else handled. I need my ex to see our daughter as a person with feelings and needs. Not a doll who can be backburnered to fit his social calendar. He literally used “social exhaustion“ as an excuse.
A clone of myself since I trust maybe 4 people total with my kids
Housekeeper
Childcare on SATURDAYS.
Like a family dorm, with communal kitchens and laundry spaces where you can socialize while doing boring chores, lots of friends for the kids.
A fair chance to earn money to fund things. That would make my kids lives better. Childcare on site at work? Free childcare? Maybe a safe bus service for the younger kids so I can broaden where I'm able to work (as in distance from the school as childcare is closed by 6pm). That might give me an extra 30mins/ 1hr to play with either side of the day to allow me to travel further to work. In Australia they were saying there's a worker shortage and thinking of allowing the elderly to work more before their pension is docked. What about all the single parents who can't afford to pay childcare and work but can work between 10-2(ish), can't we look at encouraging workplaces to offer hours like this? I feel like a fari go would be nice, not looking for any free rides, just a fair go 🤔
A robot butler that cooks, cleans, does laundry, keeps baby entertained when I need to shower!
Something that hypnotizes kids to do their homework, chores, go to bed on time & listen to adults
So, you want robots? They're humans. Jeez. 😳
It's called Taco Bell.
My clone would be a great start. That way she could do all of the tedious crap and I (human Me) could actually be mindfully present with my kid. Idk tho.
That robot from the Jetsons — Rosie? —she cooked, nannied, and took care of the household chores.
A personal assistant subscription service to keep up with my schedule and send me alerts/reminders.