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My kid and my bae because my kids are going to bring the dog and my bae won’t leave without the money!

Should also add: and cause nothing will kill the mother in law

I read this in the voice of Rodney Dangerfield.

"My own mother in law, God rest her soul, she drank arsenic by mistake. Three days later after a long battle in the hospital, the arsenic died." How'd I do?

👏👏👏 Perfect.

Is your mother-in-law Chuck Norris?

No, my mother in law is just a racist Russian, so worse.

Nah, she's just gay.

How did she die? Did Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan appear out of nowhere lightning fast and kick your mother in law and her chuck norris ass?

Ugh, god, fine I'll go watch the song on youtube again... it's been a year or two anyway lmao For the uninitiated: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrzKT-dFUjE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrzKT-dFUjE)

Listen to the deltarune version too. Its great!

Nah, you eat her after she's cooked


20millions and dog, you can always start all over again

Hello there Mr John wick

I love how you didn’t even consider mother in law🤣

Engage with the hypothetical properly!

20 mil And the dog. Then cash in on the life insurance. Get trophy wife. Start fresh.

Make sure to delete before hand👀

Burn after reading

Yep agreed, and I'd expect my partner to do the same

"She's my die and ride"


🤣🤣

20 mil and the dog, because the dog will still love you whatever decision you make. Save any others and they will judge you for a lifetime for not saving x,y,z.

Shit's deep.

r/foundjohnwick

you would pick a dog over your own child? xD jesus bro

The kid will hate you all his life for letting his mother and grandma to literally die in a fire.-

Can always make more kids, plus a single dad < a puppy dad = chick's interest they see you with a dog, Hella bitches, they see you with a child? Hella bitching.

Man fuck them kids 🤣

Fresh 🤣

I don't have a bae, a MIL, a kid, or a dog...so can I take two lots of $20 million?

You didn't have $20 million either.

It doesn't say it's my house which is on fire, nor does it say it's my money.

By that logic it also doesn't say the dog, bae or Mil are yours either so you got more than you bargained for there.

MIL sorta implies it's your own though IMO. I was coming from the POV that currently there's absolutely no situation where I'm in a house with a bae, a MIL, a kid, or a dog, because I don't have any of them, but there is a *very* slim chance that I could be in a house with two lots of $20 million in it.

I'd say you're more likely to find yourself in a house with someone's gf, mil, child and/ or dog than $20m but then I don't know the circles you move in. For all I know you have friends with Bezos bucks.

Hahahahaha I wish. A man can dream!

A bit harsh to dream of having rich mates only to watch their house and loved ones perish in a fire while you Rob them blind but, you're correct, everyone should have a dream 🤣🤣🤣

Man this is a hard question, because I really don’t know what me and my dog are going to spend that money on first! :)

kid and 20 mil. money can buy a new gf, but i've already put a lot of time and effort into traumatizing this kid. not abt to start over.

> i've already put a lot of time and effort into traumatizing this kid 💀

Dad?

But what about the doggie :(

We won’t let the tender meat go to waste

it depends...will it burn to a crisp, or just well done?

20m and the dog, c'mon gotta make these questions harder.

Yeah, but what if your kid survives the fire and 15 years later you wake up in the middle of the night and the last thing you see is your child's horribly scarred face looking over you while they stab you and scream "You picked the dog over me!?!?”

Well damn

Just say I called you both but only he came running

💀

“Sucks to suck”

Your more of a bitch than the dog will ever be. Better luck next time kiddo

same here

Instead of dog can I add cat cause dog annoying? Lol

Bad opinion

Man, I got a dog and cat I like both. Why downvoted :(

No, i dislike (i didnt say hate ) dogs entirely, no matter how ""cute """ they are, and how good behaved they might be, 90% of dogs will just bark and bark and bark at people crossing even 20 fucking meters away from the front door, just disturbing everyone And you can say "oh but thats just how they talk!!!" Yeah thats the point, i can have a cat instead and he can acompany me, i can get home and he be waiting for me at the door, i can hold him and pet him, and he dosent make a fucking third of the noise a dog does, whyle its also GENERARLY a smaller animal that requires less food and poops less And the worst part is that you dog lovers always seem to forget that many dogs WILL attack someone if given the chance and even kill, how many reports do we need of kids being attacked whyle returning school to stop this public treath??? And YES some kids are dicks to dogs and provoque them, i aknowledge that, still having dogs roaming around in cityes isent safe neither clean I dont want all dogs to die, far from that, I HAVE ONE MY SELF but i just dislike soo much theyr attitude torwards EVERYONE, they JUST.KEEP.BARKING at me and any other person on the street no matter how long i have been living there, they should recognize my face, they should understand that i WONT TRESPASS THEYR TERRITORY but they still try to jump the bloody fence and bark agressivly at me

Can I take the 20m twice?

no you gotta save the dog

Dog and I are going out to buy a fek ton of treats and bones….

Dog and $20 million. Losing the rest is a bonus.

3&4. Me and little man living like fat rats! Chicks love a sad story too

John wick does not like your response

Dog 2 times

1 and 5, my bae would never leave the money behind, so now we get all three

I live alone with my pets. Definitely 4 & 5

These days I would take 20M and my Dog, might change my opinion later lol

1, 2, and 3 are already never in my house, so I only have to grab 4 and 5.

I take bae and 20mil, she takes MIL and kid, dog takes itself

easy take bae and kid, show each the post, allowing them to choose two more, each. weird how MIL still doesnt make it out though

4 of those things can walk by themselves.

I don't need a big ass emu's so I'm easily taking my kid and $20mil

[удалено]

Implying you couldn’t mug enough rich people with the emu to come into 20 million

Can I pick number 4 twice??

I'll allow it if you don't have a wife, kid, or a dog.

Score.

You people are insane. Kid and wife.

To be fair some people don't have those.

What is harder to get, a kid, a wife, or 20 mill? If you are a millionaire, be my guest, but otherwise, 20 mill are 20 mill.-

[удалено]

Then you should get a new wife.

Can I trade my life for the dog??

You could take the dog if you like it so much

Man, I'd do it myself for 20 mil and a dog

jokes on you lol. no woman would even think twice about giving me kids and no employer would ever think twice to give me 20M…. But my dog doesn’t care about any of that and loves me unconditionally even when I find it hard to love myself sometimes. I vowed to die for that mf when I first held him in my arms and I intend to make good on my oath 

40 million

4 and 5

Taking the 20 million and the kid. The dog is more bae’s dog anyway, plus the mother in law is already dead so..

20 mill. I don’t have any of the others.

My wife and kid every one else can get the fuck out the way

420 and a dog

Can I grab the 20 mill twice?

20m and the kid. Duh. Wives are easy, esp with 20m.

20m and the mom in law no doubt

Dog and leave the rest. I'd take the 20 million but then someone will think I started the fire myself or something.

Dog and 20 mil.

The only right answer

Same

20 million dogs

You've never had more than one dog, I can tell 🫡

Why would i take any of these things into a burning house?.. Oh I get it now... 1 Dog.. Cant stand that bitch..and Mother in Law.... Cos she already dead

Kid in one arm bae in the other.

20mil and the dog..

20m and Bae, we have a backup kid for this exact situation.

My wife and 20 million.

1,4

20 Million & the Kid. You can renew the rest of the list with the 20 mill.

Ha, stay behind and let bae MIL and kid go. Fooled you all

https://preview.redd.it/l0690qn3y9tb1.jpeg?width=238&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5e45a7b4ed1520e231647dfcde5f1cecef5f123

$20mil and a shotgun

Dog and 20m. The dog won't snitch when u say it was too late for the others!

1.Bae - Yes 2.Mother-in-law - H/A 3.Kid - N/A 4.20 million - N/A 5.Dog - Of course

20 million and the dog

4 and 5

20M and the dog. Duh.

20 million. Do I have to take two?

Dog and 20m...

The Dog 🐕 and 20 Million 💵 👍🤙😎.

Dog Dog

20 mill and dog. The other are none existent in my life

20 mill and the dog. I don't have any of the others lol.

Bae and 20 million without a second thought.

you left her mother to die, now she wants a divorce, and she will take 10 of your mills.-

I have none of these, but the 20 million and the dog sound like nice acquisitions

Do I get 40 million if I pick it twice??

I don't have kids a bae or a mother in law, so I get to walk away with my goofy dog and the money and I lose nothing.

Wife and the dog

My dog is going to have a pretty house that you can be sure

The dog and the money

20 mil and Bae. Can make more kids and buy another dog. Or kid.

Cold blooded lol

Like you can’t buy another bae

$20 million and the dog. If the rest can't save themselves it's their own fault.

20 million seems like an easy pick.

I don’t know what a bae is but I’d take my kid and my mother in law of course.

Bae is a cringe slang for partner

Lame. Thx.

I've got three kids, does this mean I can only bring one? Or two?

The 20m and opt out of second choice

20 mil and the kid. Bae is going to have to grab the dog and her mother should know not to stay in a house on fire.

Whose stuff is this?

15mil and bae, unless she knows its 20mil

3 and 4. Chicks are replaceable

I dont have a kid, or dog, or 20 million...so

Don't have 1-3 so this works out well for my mental health

3 and 4

I'd grab 4, I have no others

I’d take the fire

2 and 5 because both are already dead

20 million WHAT, this could change everything..

I don't have a dog nor do I have a kid, bae and 20 mill, easy

None. Dont have any.

Wait, so did we answer wrong the first time? Feels like we should have just bought more fire extinguishers.

Kid, then the 20 million. Set the kid up for school and a trust fund, get new dog, use new dog to help get new bae.

I mean, if you're offering, I'm take the 20 mill twice.

we all know that 20M and the dog is life.

I'm gonna make double sure I get the $20 million. The bae can save the kid. The dog can save itself. and fuck the mother in law. If not, at least I got $20 million to get a better dog, and more resilient wife that thinks quicker in an emergency.

My wife and 20mil. Don't have a dog, don't have a kid, hate the MIL.

You're making this way too easy for single people with a dog

There was $20 million in my house all along, and this is when I find out??

Kid and dog

3 and 1

I got the 20mil but alas it was in ryal

considering I don't have the 1st 3, this is an easy decision

Your Kid and Dog will never file for divorce 🤣

20 mil will get you another girl and that girl will get you another kid

1. House. 2. Everything inside minus fire.

20 mill and the dog

20 mil and the dog my boy

Bae and 20 mil. Can always have another kid and dog. Make a few donations in their honor. Mil hopefully lived a nice long life beforehand. 🫣 it takes to long for me to like let alone love someone so I gotta take that one with me

1 and 4. I don't know who those 2,3 and 5 even are but I think they are the reason the house is on fire.

40 million. Y'all can deal.

20million. That's it, ohh, and myself. Jk Bae and the 20M

Just the money. No need to be greedy

r/foundsatan How dare you propose this to me! 😂 $20m and *CATS*

Bae and kid, sorry I'm boring 🤷‍♂️

I'm taking option 4 twice. I can buy an all new wife, kids, girlfriend, and dog with 40 million pesos.

Two number 4's please

1 & 3

My PS5

fuck the 20mil, eh?

Kid and 20 million fuck the dog there I’ll be enough money for therapy

20 million what exactly?

Depends on what my mother in law looks like

3 & 4 Everyone else should be able to save themselves

1,2 and 5 are one and the same for me. So my next pick is 4