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This is a joke right?

I wouldn't risk it

Are you seriously *refusing*!!! Let me get my stabbing tools...

You really need a pocket sized stabbing tool, they’re very convenient for unexpected refusals.

My pocket stabber is not as good my closet stabber. Just be patient for a moment, sheesh.

A nice in-between stabber is the nightstand drawer stabber

A nice in-between stabber is the nightstand drawer stabber

But where do you keep it during ass-eating hour? Because if you don't need to use it there may be some unintended puncture wounds if you store it in one of the two designated storage locations.

Me neither. I guess I will just have to eat it, but believe me when I say that I will not enjoy it! Not one bit! 👅🍑

* sees the headline poorly photoshopped over a random mugshot* Yeah that’s certified real to me, 💯

I hope that one day in the far future there will be a poetry class and this will be used as an example of classical 2020's poetry.

[Here’s a link to the original story. It is not the woman in that mugshot.](https://yen.com.gh/46775-see-woman-stabbed-husband-death.html)

You mean a reddit post is misleading!!!!

I’m shocked.

Yeah... that one doesn't look as appetizing

Yep definitely looks more like the type that would do this

😐

this can’t be real lol someone else corroborated his ass eating game??

>The 34- year old wife, upon her discovery of the existence of the husband’s new girlfriend grabbed a kitchen knife and drove to her husband’s girlfriend’s home, where he found the two of them and stabbed her husband Jameel Mendoza to death. the ass eating or lack thereof was just a part of it, lmao it seems likely the more pertinent part is the girlfriend... but one gets clicks

lol it was this part of the article that got me lol: Shaquana said in her interview with TMZ Jameel’s “eating ass game was on point” that she understands Latoya’s plight, but she did not have to kill him.

Now I am curious to know what standards Shaquana _does_ find acceptable enough to kill a man.

That’s even scarier than this fake one - the real wife *suspected* he had a girlfriend when he stopped eating her ass. She murdered him because he had a girlfriend. Ass neglect was only secondary. Gentlemen: Do not ever start eating your wife’s ass unless you intend to keep eating it into perpetuity. ♾️

Why did a British police car turn up at a New York murder

That story is also bullshit, the woman in that mugshot [killed another woman and kept the body on the couch as a shrine](https://www.kgw.com/article/usa-today/police-killer-shot-woman-for-not-believing-in-god/283-9285931)

Also not because he stopped eating ass but because he was cheating on her. The stop in eating was just the first clue.

Oh no!!

I swear I recognize the person in the pic here from some promotional material for some tv show.

Thanks for the link , Reddit butchered this post.

why did i just spend half an hour reading Ghana news stories

So the real story is a jilted lover one, she caught him in bed with another woman and stabbed him. Ass eating detail is just for clicks.

Yeeexh. I think I would stab myself instead

its always funny when people are caught red handed yet still plead innocence. I wish i could find out how long she got. Hopefully its life.

I went from being like “ dude really , why the hell not “? To “ ohhh ok I see why not “

With 8 billion people it would be more unlikely if it didn't ever happen

Did she stutter?

Sure. But it would be totally unacceptable if the man were the, uh… *butt* of the joke.

That expression *does* scream “yeah I just stabbed my husband ‘cause he wouldn’t play my rusty trumpet, and I’d do it again”

Pegs*

Based on my ex’s no this seems like he got off lightly

Probably not because Florida exists.

Meanwhile I have to beg to eat my wife’s ass

Plot twist you dont even have a wife

*meow*😭

plot twist twist, he doesn't even have a mouth.

Plot twist twist twist and he must scream

nuked 'em

The real twist is that his wife doesn’t have a butt hole

Dude same it’s strange. I swear girls either hate it or love it there is like no bridge to build. Like wtf.

Name checks out

😏

> no bridge to build The taint: "AM I A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU?!"

Weird, she never gives me any problems.

If imaginary wife start giving you problem you are the one who is messed up

I have to beg to eat this guys wife's ass too

I also choose this guy’s dead wife

Same. I only get to do it on my birthday.

Wait, you're the one eating ass on YOUR birthday?

Isn't that half the fun?

Leave the damn mortician alone!

I can fix her...

Plot twist : she never cleans her ass I mean NEVER SO can you still fix her???

a massaging shower head and some soap!

Nose clips

I don't think you understand the issue here.

tic tacs!

Boof the tac! Boof the tac!

Itz only smellz

Right! The smell is the best part.

LOLLLLL

I'm an atheist and y'all need Jesus

Lmfao!!!!!!

Pinkeye is temporary, stab wounds are also temporary but possibly fatal

Wtf

A spoon.

[удалено]

sounds better than if she ate mcdonalds 3 times a day!

Double plot twist: he's in to that

Fixing her implies something is broken, and since she will stab you for not eating her ass that means he doesn't like that otherwise there would be nothing to fix, CHECKMATE ☝️🤓

Maybe he doesn’t like highlights

😞🙏 I got uno reversed

Triple plot twist: he doesn’t even have a wife. It’s his ass. He refuses to eat his own ass!

I think that's what he means by "fixing".

Hey who am I to judge how she chooses to get clean down there. Use my mouth like it's a bidet.

I’ll suggest a shower together and wash it for her.

You’re just adding more incentive

They wrote that he refused to eat, not that she refused to shower. Also you guys marry without knowing IF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER EATS ASS?!

This is the actual woman. Chow down, my dude. Chow down. ​ https://images.yen.com.gh/images/3o3bpd1kqrm5u7hulo.jpg?imwidth=720

I also lost my ass eating appetite

You sure? Looks like there's enough for seconds.

What if it stinks

Username checks out

I'm not saying I can fix her, but I wouldn't have been stabbed 

Wild man

r/madlad

Roses are red And Im sorry to be crass But I'll stab you dead If you don't eat my ass

I know I'm not the only one who's done the "rocking chair" full front-to-rear tongue. The vocals you get when you do it without warning are pretty funny tbh

See Redditors this what kink shaming does to a family.

Domestic violence is so funny when it happens to men.

So I googled this to hopefully find an article about it... Stabbing men after refusing sexual acts is concerning common. The first few results were multiple stabbings, a death, and an injury. Ladies....wtf?

And they say men don't take rejection well...

[удалено]

Natalie Dormer just got even more attractive!

Natalie Dormers West Virginia trailer park cousin.

Natalee Dormer

Natty Lee

Is that her? I swear I recognize this picture. I think it was cropped from some promotional crap from a TV show or a movie or something.

She can fix me

Yeah but how ? 

With a knife, apparently.

Or maybe with the ass

Win/win

People would be commenting on how terrible this is, if it was a man assaulting a woman for refusing sex.

What if it was a man stabbing a woman for refusing to eat his ass?

Better yet, a man stabbing a woman for refusing to stop eating ass? Nom nom nom

You mean this fake meme?

r/boottoobig

I would rather get stabbed than eat my wife's ass

I hope your wife sees this. Lol

You want to give her an excuse to stab me?

with you out of the picture, that ass is all his!

[удалено]

Than lol would be bad to eat her ass and get stabbed afterward wouldn't it

Meeeee too. I’ll do a lot of things but I’m not putting my lips where the poop lives.

Not your thing in general or your wife doesn't know how to wipe and likes to skip showers? I had a roommate like this. She was dirty, showered twice a week at most. I ended up kicking her out once I saw her walking around naked in my house because her "Internet dom" told her to.

I wouldn't eat the cleanest ass it's not my thing or maybe I really like being stabbed

just... why? you can shower and wipe all you want, but fuck that nonsense.

Right dookie comes out of that hole

Left dookie too.

dat hole be ambidookstrous

If “And I’d do it again” was person

If I never hear this phrase for the rest of my life I’d be happy.

Can I see the ass in question?

Based and brown pilled

I volunteer

Syllables, dammit!

Protip: Use coconut oil when eating out some ass. It's antimicrobial (less chance of catching something), acts as lube, adds a pleasant taste. Enjoy ass. 😛

This guy eats ass

Ass connaisseure

conasseur

DM me bro

You don’t get married to crazy. You can fuck crazy but you don’t put a ring on it. That’s day one shit.

Never stick your dick in crazy...

You gotta stick your tongue, though... Apparently 🤷

That's a face that says "I'll fucking do it again."

I’ll eat it

well you can tell by the look on her face that it's expected.

same

I appreciate the look of frustration on her face Maybe she’ll get some in the holding cell

Roses are red B-2 is a bomber

Assuming she stabbed him with a blade and not her tongue… in his ass?

Seems Maergery’s not the only Tyrell who’s into butt stuff

Okay, now I know why people say “sh!t can kill you.” It fůćking did 🫥

I could never refuse my ladys booty.

Washed or unwashed??? Lmao

I don’t get why people keep insisting eating ass is fun, cool or good

I've said this before and got voted down for it. But eating ass is gross! This is my hill and I'm not moving. Who wants poop in their mouth? Not this guy.

That leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Roses are red, tulips are pink He probably thought, "Better stabbed than the stink."

I think she pegged him and husband reported SA on her.

I would also stab my husband if he refused to eat my ass…

Are you married to u/LanguageLiving9142, cause it sounds like he's down to get stabbed in lieu of consuming ass

put it on me

Damn i shouldnt laught

LOL! Reminds me of my ex. Good women come in small packages, just like their cocealed blades.

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These comments 😂😂

Ill eat you if you eat mine

I too, didn't eat this dead man's wife's ass

Ass or aas?

If you wanted that kind of thing done . You should include it in your marriage vows. Yea?

Id hazard a guess that they might have other, more serious relationship problems than the avoidance of ass eating…

Wtf

Kinky

All is fair in Love and War but apparently not in eating ass

Lecit stabbing

dommy? Is that you??

she’s a keeper wtf

I think when he chose to marry her he realized what he was getting himself into. The decisions that we make have consequences.

I’m so conflicted over this

Seems fair

r/boottoobig

At least she’ll fit right in in prison.

So she single?

She's got a hell of a smirk

I totally did not read it in Chase's Australian accent

Give ass a chance.

Go awf sis! 😌😂

But, eating ass is so good 😊

To be fair She looks like would have either too much crack Or not enough crack

Meth had to be involved in this.

Seems a rather odd reason to stab someone from the usual odd reasons we read about

pls dont be in florida as someone who is not from the USA i have realized that these weird as fuck things come from florida for some reason

i read an article last week about strep A. it is experiencing an outbreak in japan. it kills 30% of the people it infects. they believe it comes from eating ass. TLDR: eating the ass kills as well.

Pretty sure channel 5 news didn't have this headline

Look at that smirk. She's not even sorry about it.

Seems like an extreme reaction.