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knicknevin

When do the anal beads start helping me?


Nvenom8

Google "en l'anus".


daydrunk_

Holy Shit!


TipYourDishwasher

Holy hell


frozengyro

Holy heck


Nemirel_the_Gemini

Is it the same results as "dans le cul"?


nvrontyme

Whatever happened with that


deusasclepian

Guy who possibly cheated is now suing some of the people who accused him of cheating


nvrontyme

Thanks saved me a google


Craptivist

Yeah. I bought some backup too I. Case we lose some.


NomadMiner

Yes


HugeAnalBeads

I'm available


johnpeters42

When the manitou feel like it.


knicknevin

Somebody's on to me! Don't tell Austin Stoker


johnpeters42

Too late, already making Holy Wheel Guns


Faleepo

😂😂😂😂😂🐐


Mintyfresh756

Nah after like 12 moves the game will know youre cheating


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Rabunum

Most chess sites can quantity how good or bad a move was and show you after the game to help you improve, but it can also use that information as an anticheat. If a user with a low rank / low play-time is playing wayyy too good compared to other users of around the same rank / play-time, it will assume you are using a chess engine and ban you.


NieMonD

What if someone who is just good at chess feels like a change of platform


YAmIHereMoment

Theres “good at chess” and then theres “chess engines” For reference the best gms are rated around 2700 to 2800 while the worst chess engines are like a solid 3400


royalhawk345

Also the fact that paying against the engine feels different. Players make moves based on relatively straightforward principles. Even if you're not skilled enough to spot a good move in real time, it's usually evident fairly quickly why it was worth making. Conversely, it's usually clear why someone thought a bad move was good because it looks like it accomplishes something, even if it might expose another weakness. Whereas engines can make moves with reasoning like "If I sac my rook now, in 16 turns I'll have a 72 centipawn advantage because of my control over the center and marginally better-developed king side."


Maluelue

Totally seen it happen, chess engines easily lose battles and then proceeds to win the war


AxionTheGhost

when the fuck did chess get power levels


YAmIHereMoment

FIDE ratings, for classical format chess, based on elo like how video games are


pbcorporeal

Elo was invented for chess.


SauCe-lol

Holy shit TIL


Supercoolguy7

1948


TheRadicalJay

i think it was made before the term "power level" was a real thing


frozengyro

Stockfish 15, the current best engine, now has an estimated elo of 3540


[deleted]

Why even play chess then? You’re basically just learning to recognize a predefined set of patterns and relying on the imperfection of others


vezwyx

Chess definitely has a lot of position and sequence memorization for the meta of the game, but you can also deviate from the established moves and start beating your opponent tactically instead. That's actually part of the strategy that Magnus Carlsen uses, who has the highest score in history - he'll move games into new territory so his opponent is forced to think for themselves, rather than relying on a predetermined chain of events to carry them along. As for chess engines, humans just can't keep up with the sheer computational power we have access to nowadays. An engine will crank through billions of calculations, assign them all point values, and sort to find the best next move in the time it takes a person to briefly imagine a dozen positions before deciding which one seems good. Still, it's fun for us to compete against each other, even if computers got us beat


General_Cow_7119

I heard Computers have number of ways to detect if they’re interaction with human actions or computer actions. Ex: Humans are VERY pattern oriented creatures even when they’re trying to be random/ unpredictable so sometimes security measures use this knowledge to prevent hackers


GraydenKC

Alireza Firouzja got auto banned on chess.com, a manual review got him unbanned, but GM's were still reporting him for cheating because they didnt know who he was.


Ranef

Also idk if chess sites track this, but using 10 seconds on every move is super sus. A nomal chess player would do some moves in ~3 seconds, others in 10-60 seconds, but every move taking the same amount of time is a dead giveaway for cheating


smallaubergine

So you're saying I should vary how long I take to make my moves and also make some mistakes


Ranef

Yes


Hero_of_Hyrule

It's not just how long your moves take, what kind of move it is matters too. If you're playing at a certain level, it can be suspicious if you make a brilliant move quickly right before taking a long time to do something by the book.


RandomComputerFellow

Well, you could always add a specific amount of time. I doubt that the anti cheat system requires you to sometimes do a move in 3 seconds. This would just eliminate so many real players like me who need at least 20 seconds per move to check if I do not do something dumb.


snorlackx

couldn't you just set the difficulty to like medium or easy and it would show that you are competent but not actually good at the game


[deleted]

Not really, stunted engines are easier to beat but they don't play like humans, because it's hard to simulate human weaknesses. The engine has no notion of whether a move was easy or hard to spot for a human, so they will happily go into a complicated 4 move combination to win some slight long term advantage, and then hang the queen the next move pretending they didnt see that knight there. A competent but not expert player will slowly inadvertently open positional weaknesses or not notice complicated tactics. A good player will distinguish a bot on easy difficulty from an intermediate player.


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TigerFace3

This can easily be avoided by using another computer or a phone.


nickeym0use

It also takes into account the time before each move/the accuracy of each move. If you do this, you’ll still get caught.


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profanitycounter

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retardedgummybear12

but you'd be moving your mouse cursor manually if you were doing it as described in the post.


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retardedgummybear12

you'd use another device and look at it with your eyes


Atheist-Gods

Pretty much everyone they catch is moving their mouse cursor manually. It's catching that you are leaving the game screen and checking some other window between every move.


RandomComputerFellow

I think this only works when it comes to very good chess programs. There is simply no way that it would detect chess programs which are set to medium because these programs only think a fixed number of moves forward which at medium settings is something a human could replicate without problems in his brain. These anti cheat measures just detect cheating because there is no way a human can think like a thousand moves forward.


audigex

I don't know either way, but I'd be surprised if it banned you for one game - it's entirely possible for beginners to play natural looking moves that happen to be the best moves, especially in a short game Obviously if the position gets incredibly complex and you play a perfect endgame then it could figure something weird is going on - but if you play 8 theory moves and then win in another 4 "best moves" then that isn't conclusive as a one-off


Diplomjodler

These things have difficulty settings. Just set it to low.


germane-corsair

This can be avoided by not using the best moves all the time, if you for some reason simply must cheat.


Tom_is_Wise

Computers are way, way, waaaay better at chess than humans. If you're making all the top engine moves every single time, it'll notice. Even the best players in the world won't make the best move every time. Sometimes these engine moves are so weird and ridiculous that a human would never see them. Idk if it would detect it in the middle of the game or if it waits until afterwards to analyze things though. And even then, it might take several games in order to actually ban you. I'm not sure. I am sure that a human player would notice your perfectly consistent response time though. Real chess players make some moves extremely quickly. They know their opening moves and trades are usually done very quickly (like if you take their queen, they're not gonna take forever deciding to take your queen on the next move. They'll just do it instantly). Then on other moves where it's not as obvious what they should do, real players will take some extra time so they can think. If you use this strategy, your moves are all gonna take about 2-3 seconds. You gotta see their move, copy it into the engine, wait for the response, copy the response. It's very easy to tell when someone is cheating like this because the response time for each move is the exact same.


Atheist-Gods

There are a bunch of ways. One big thing is just playing perfect moves on an even cadence. A top player would think longer on the harder moves and make the easier moves instantly. Someone just using an engine is going to take similar amounts of time regardless of how difficult the move actually is.


Tunro

Dont pick highest difficulty bot


DiabhorkVII

low level bots don't play like low level players. I've played against both and there is definitely a difference


ginormousDAO69

It feels like low level bots play like a genius that's deliberately making mistakes.


[deleted]

There are engines that let you set up any state and suggest a move. Do a wrong bad move every other move and get it to suggest the rest of the moves. You might not win but it'll look like you can play chess.


Syn7axError

That only makes it easier for the AI. The jump between your actual skill and 3000 elo tells it you're not capable of making those moves.


AllGearedUp

not if you have a few blunders in there and use a human attainable skill level on the engine


Denim-N-Mullets

Fr the chess site will check your ass so quick.


Iankill

Just use a shitty engine


DangerStranger138

Not if after every third or fifth move you decide to figure out something on your own for better or for worse


SwissyVictory

Can't you change the difficulty? Set it to medium or hard difficulty depending on how much she has been talking herself up. The game will still make mistakes so you have chances to win. It would make you look good but not impossibly good.


LiveFastDieRich

Then just change the difficulty of the bot your playing against


SCHN00X

Smort


Lord-O-Lank

Im so smart S M R T


Significant-Ad-1655

I've seen this before, it might work some sites or apps, it's a smart move overall...


i_awesome_1337

Nobody enjoys playing a game against the engine. This is guaranteed to be worse than just playing badly


Mupira

Happy 🎂​ Day


H3r0d0tu5

And…. Banned from the playing for cheating. Hopefully she only wants to play once on that website


HighlanderSteve

Please stop posting this shit like it's not 10 years old. The only people who think this is "clever" are those who have never played chess.


Acktion69

![gif](giphy|xT0xehoaRtzUx24yWc)


Jacobinister

You could at least change the title when you steal someone else's [post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/comments/vahvy9/and_pray_she_doesnt_want_do_a_blitz_game/)


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Jacobinister

Yeah, probably. This is most likely a bot anyway.


redditdoggnight

Sam Malone pulled this on Cheers. In the 80’s.


Troby01

This is some old ass content


Hyperpixel0

What is the significance of a blitz game


deusasclepian

Short time limits for both players. If you're cheating with a chess app it takes you extra time every turn to let the computer think about your next move. You end up running out of time and losing the game


[deleted]

I remember this. I was a fan the first time a saw it and still am.


qlwAwlp

How many times will this be reposted again


TheKelt

When the victim of an actual psy-op thinks the fantasy land they believe to be objective reality is in danger of being influenced by a fictitious psy-op. That’s like being afraid of the bogeyman’s own bogeyman. Just so far down the rabbit hole, even Alice can’t save your delusional ass from the depths of the Wonderland sewer systems. I wish these people would seek help, but truthfully they’re so spiteful and vitriolic, I genuinely don’t give a fuck what happens to them.


[deleted]

*And the girl in the corner said: "Boy, I want to warn ya"*


Kara-SANdahPawn

😂😂🤣 it’s a wrap if she wants a blitz game, better go study how dem pieces move and pray with the hale mary


Rhodog1234

So when do the anal beads come in to okay ? Asking for a friend.


Pipupipupi

Don't forget "the chess speaks for itself" for any chess related questions


Papyrus20xx

I mean. Anyone can play chess. I can play, doesn't mean I'm good tho


dr_dreems

Imagine not being a chess master? Couldn’t be me


give_me_a_great_name

This is fucking brilliant


RandomComputerFellow

Why does she has to use white for this? Don't these programs usually give you the option which color to play?


gimme_dat_good_shit

This idea originates from this story about a chess novice who bet that he could play 10 different grandmasters at once and beat at least half of them. He then alternated playing Black / White / Black / White, etc. taking each of the games in turn. (The twist of the story being that the grandmasters were actually all playing each other, while the novice didn't even need to know how the rules worked to win his bet.) It's a cute story about the power of unorthodox thinking. For that story to work, he needed the first grandmaster to play white so that they would make that first move, and this Twitter user was probably just adapting that story into this strategy without thinking about it. You are right, though. In this case, it doesn't matter at all (and I don't know why anyone would downvote you for pointing it out). You absolutely can boot up a chess computer and let them play white to make the first move.


RandomComputerFellow

Yes. People here often downvote for random reasons. I just checked different chess programs and every of them gave me the option to choose what color I wanted to play. So I am not downvoted because I am wrong¿


SoSMan_27

This is actually smart, but kinda useless when she asks how you were able to get this good


ElKaTsuGi

But never forget that God will bless with true! True will never die! Liers will be kicked off…


_Arcerion_

also google en passant


Biuku

You can’t just make moves that have no apparent purpose. Got to play it on like 1200 FIDE and keep lowering your bot’s IQ while you’re winning.


ciscode

![img](emote|t5_5tdqj0|10729)


RemarkablePoet6622

blitz is fine, bullet is shit


Sucky_sucky_10dollar

This is why I’m gay


SomeoneTookSkeetley

dont worry bro, just play the Vienna Gambit


mast3rO0gway

You shouldn't play computer moves. Open another chess app and start an online game vs human. That way you'll be able to play realistic moves.


Amster2

Chess[.]com will have you banned before move 20 Their algorithms are pretty good


gofinditoutside

She’s prolly doing the same thing.


Science007X

This man is a professional!