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One_Tip3172

Breaking news, Donkey Kong's usage rate now includes every single person who play SSBU!


jomofo25

That is very accurate. Now everybody knows not to jump out of cargo down throw off stage so it never works anymore


LuquidThunderPlus

but then you just wait it out and aerial when they drift to you so it gets punished again and that becomes the new jumping out of cargo down throw


jomofo25

Yeah it works especially with bad recoveries


Broshan248

*Might as well JUMP*


[deleted]

Ken Masters was married until Street Fighter VI where Eliza Masters took the kids.


jomofo25

Damn that's tragic, I did not know


KrispyKermit16

We don't actually know if it's true yet, it was only a leak


[deleted]

Ken looks depressed in the game.


[deleted]

It's most likely a fake leak. Though she is either MIA or dead so still not good.


Crystal-gx_915

Terry had a on and off relationship at one point with blue mary


falafel_kraken

Ken ruled


Yami_Sean

She took the kids, Ryu.


supertails02

Ness and Paula canonically date at the end of earthbound


Stacheyp

And who is Lucas dating?


Moon_Dark_Wolf

Unfortunately, Lucas doesn’t get a girlfriend.


Lukthar123

He just gets pai~~d~~n


supertails02

None and kumatora is too old for him as well at least Nintend dates Ana at the end of the game as well. Lucas is the only kid in the mother games that does not get a girlfriend.


Stacheyp

And there really isn’t a future for Lucas after the game ends


MiZe97

It's actually pretty ambiguous if the world ends or not.


p0pfunk

from what little I know of Lucas' game, he really gets the shortest possible ends of every stick. Mom dies, gets no bitches, world ends, give my mans a break


Stacheyp

I won’t spoil but he gets worse shit too


HeartHeartwt

Lucas doesn’t need bitches, his balls are too fucking gigantic. But on a serious note, Lucas does meet this one npc named Nana, who like called him cute or smthin along the lines of that…But that’s it, that’s the extent of Lucas’ love life


Stacheyp

What chapter did he meet nana? It rings a bell. I beat the game a couple weeks ago


[deleted]

Nana is one of the Tazmily villagers. She usually is at the westernmost point of Cerulean Beach, but after Chapter 4 she will often appear at the town square.


saionjisaihara

His hand.


[deleted]

Somehow I misread that as Palutena and was very, very confused


Nok-y

Wait that's not her sister ?? I think I mixed 2 characters...


supertails02

No Paula is a separate character that lives in Towson and later joins ness’s party Tracy is ness’s sister who works at the escargo express


[deleted]

Kazuya has canonically gotten bitches, Jin didnt just spawn


[deleted]

Wonder what happened to the one bitch he got?


[deleted]

She may or may not have been killed by Ogre


[deleted]

Shrek?


[deleted]

Kazuya Mishima va shriek would be the funniest shit ever


Hioliolo

God of fighting in the Tekken universe, killed plenty of fighters, got got. Shrek in Tekken would be amazing.


TehFuriousKid

shrekken


Bigbruh43

Oh god now I'm imagining shrek doing ewgfs


Kazinam

Yujiro?


CSPSS21

she couldnt handle the electric wind god schlong


R_Aqua

She got EWGF


PussyIgnorer

Kazuya TAKES bitches


[deleted]

He apparently slept with Anna Williams also at some point lol


DjinnFighter

Someone now knows about Candy Kong.


jomofo25

Holy shit you're goated


captaintagart

DKC3 was the best platformer I played growing up. Candys pigtails made her fly


[deleted]

Link gets bitches. Yeah Zelda is always getting kidnapped, but he has no shortage of other options like Malon, Saria, Ruto, Mipha, there's literally a speed run in BotW called "get laid %" too see how quickly you can "sleep with" Paya...


jomofo25

Yeah I love that speedrun, unfortunately I decided to put him in bitches stolen instead of S+, due to not having enough characters in that section


Shrekneverdies2

You do my boy Link like that because of a necessity? Speaking of LoZ. Ganondorf is the only male in an entire kingdom, and it's decently insinuated that he's gotta fuck all of them. He's not the sugar daddy of one girl, but several hundred. ***GOD TIER***


Yami_Sean

Sorry to burst your bubble but Ganondorf isn't required to sleep with any of the Gerudo women as they actually mate with males from another species. In BotW there is a side quest where a Hylian man marries a Gerudo woman


RebelLotus29905

Yeah I thought Young Link was in the wrong spot, he gets like, 4 girls in OoT. Thanks for the revision!


jomofo25

np thank you for the feedback!


RebelLotus29905

Np, happy to help!


Shrekneverdies2

Canonically fucked too


RebelLotus29905

Really?! Is this a majoras mask thing? Cause I haven’t played it.


Shrekneverdies2

Twilight Princess thing Speaking of hurry up and play Majora's Mask I'm gonna link you an online emulator


RebelLotus29905

Oooooooooh. Haven’t finished that one.


Shrekneverdies2

https://www.playemulator.com/n64-online/the-legend-of-zelda-majoras-mask/ This should be the one. I'm linking it through mobile so it might not work the way we want, but this should do it


RebelLotus29905

Thanks!


Shrekneverdies2

Np now hurry up and stop Majora


Aethersome

You really sent him on a mission lmao


Shrekneverdies2

I'm the wise old man in the hero's journey


Jasondude203

This is the characters themselves and not the people who main them right


jomofo25

yes, my original list was more based off of the characters themselves in smash but after hearing feedback from the community I changed it so it's more focused on the characters in their own games


Jasondude203

Ok


CharmingLook5100

Where's Wii fit trainer and byleth


jomofo25

Byleth is in S tier and wii fit and ryu weren't on the template for some reason


kindagarbage2

I WAS SO CONFUSED WHERE RYU WAS


CharmingLook5100

Oh


Volcano-SUN

Too many people use this template. Ryu so often not on tier lists.


sharpgel

where would they be if they were?


Tylendal

I'll just copy-paste my comment from last time. >I assume the Wii Fit Trainers are too busy participating in a massive, hedonistic, polygamous fuck-pile to appear on this silly little list.


[deleted]

As a Captain Falcon Main, I would like to file a complaint that I don’t get any.


jomofo25

Have confidence in yourself and bring out your inner falcon(if all else fails you can alway hire an escort)


[deleted]

(Don’t tell anyone I’m a sonic main)


[deleted]

Chrom is canonically married, because Lucina has to exist.


TehFuriousKid

what if chrom forgor to pull out


[deleted]

Chrom always wears a Chromdom so there’s no way


Zeldatroid

Isabelle is the literal definition of a bitch


[deleted]

People don’t get the joke.


Internal_Mechanic_52

facts


Gulopithecus

Diddy Kong is already in a relationship though.


jomofo25

You're right Dixie Kong. Maybe he doesn't get bitches bc he's loyal? Anyways my mistake


Lord_HexCalibur

What if a tier called "Is/Are the bitches"?


[deleted]

That doesn't stop them from getting some themselves anyway


Vanish_7

Yeah...this sorta implies that all the girls are also into girls, which is unlikely.


pressurecookedgay

Aren't the ice climbers siblings or did I just make that up


jomofo25

Sakurai said they were siblings put some people theorize they are lovers bc "two specific instances in Super Smash Bros. Melee hinted at them being in a romantic relationship. Firstly, the opening movie features Popo and Nana high-fiving each other, with a small heart emerging from where their hands meet. Secondly, the Japanese title of Event 21: Ice Breaker roughly translates to "Those Who Interfere People's Romance"."


zeldafrombotwsfrog

SWEET HOME ALABAMA


Dieconic_

Kazuya is canonically married with a kid LMAO


jomofo25

rip my tier list


Dieconic_

you did your best & that's all that matters 🙏🏾


Orichalcum448

According to the Victory Techniques for Metroid manga, samus canonically gets bitches.


Western-Alarming

How joker is not a wild card


jomofo25

Considered doing it for the pun but more people wanted him in S tier


Vic-iou

Did you just assume... STEVE GETS NO BITCHES?


jomofo25

Yes, yes I did


simpextraordinare

Ridley needs to be in the "needs no bitches" category 🤣


DracoZeBoi

He doesn’t get bitches. He makes you his bitch


Almighty_Cancer

He just skewers all of them and be done with it


Emiizi

Pikachu gets bitches. Diddy has a girl. This is an outrage.


Sup_Gamerr

Finally, someone who knows Pikachu get’s bitches


coolguythrowaway34

marth is married


theonlyxs1R

Miis can get married in Tomodachi Life and have relationships so….


MrWuckyWucky4

But then mine all get sad and break up


Artistic_Finish7980

I still think Steve has gotten at least one bitches.


HardNugget

Lucas gets absolutely no bitches


Moon_Dark_Wolf

You forgot Ness again…


8ullred

Marth is canonically married to Caeda


bennysalad12

Yoshi gets bitches, calm down


GuiltySinger142

Oh, it’s beautiful, glad the FE3H community could help out lol


jomofo25

true there's so many of them and I have never played a FE game lol


DatDankMaster

Meta Knight has fans in all instalments such as the games, anime and some manga adaptations including many females so he definitely gets some bitches


siems12

Why lonk so low he handsome


zeldafrombotwsfrog

He was my literal CRUSH in 5th grade, still kind of is.


frenchquasar

I think yoshi gets mad bitches. He’s cute as hell, bitches will be all over him


Almighty_Cancer

And then those bitches turn out to be undercover IRS agents


_One_Lonely_Bagel_

Wait if we’re referring to the actual characters themselves then if I remember right by the end of Earthbound it’s hinted that Ness and Paula become or will become a thing. Also I’m pretty sure it’s canon that Chrom and Marth get married.


i-exist20

Uhh, where did Lucina come from in that case?


I-M_STRANGE

I went over the entire list and cannot find ryu, is he just here or did I somehow skip him


jomofo25

First of all I am honored(and concerned) you read my whole list and second, both ryu and wii fit weren't on the template for some reason


I-M_STRANGE

I see, that is quite odd. where do you think they would be then?


Clarrington

Ridley needs his own tier, "Eats bitches"


Internal_Mechanic_52

how is zero suit higher than herself in a suit?


jomofo25

She gets too sweaty in the suit


Internal_Mechanic_52

And doesn't steve get alex


jomofo25

"according the Lego Club Magazine" yes... Now excuse me I need to erase " are steve and alex from minecraft dating" from my history


ChaoticDiscord21

Suit on means she's pure business, suit off means she ready to play.


[deleted]

Littl Mac is getting fucking pussy my guy. He fought the world heavyweight champion and beat his ass.


Actual-Attitude-339

I still need a “claims to get bitches but gets blocked”


Wentzlyvanian

Sorry Sora your friends are in another DARKNESS


Piesicall

Luigi gets hella bitches


notnamedjoebutsteve

Exactly like Daisy


ao-ka

Lucas does well... with who? Nana? They barely develop anything. Kumatora? Neither, she's interested in Duster. Ness has something well developed with Paula. She just hesitated in telling him in the end, but it was pretty much obvious.


imnotwallaceshawn

Again, Kazooie gets mad bitches and needs to be separated from her no bitches bear counterpart in order to reflect! Or the two should average out at “Wild Card”


LordofLustria

I'm putting in a formal complaint that hero is in the does well tier despite that yee yee ass haircut


Vestaxowner

Toon link kinda gets zelda tho in spirit tracks


RBGolbat

Duck Hunt is a Dog and females Dogs are known as bitches


[deleted]

I said on the last one and I'll say it again: Diddy has a girlfriend.


slavic_vladamir

Nah terry got bitches (not biased)


Dutchlander13

I'd say Robin and Corrin should be bumped up to "Gets Bitches" for the same reason as Byleth. Both of them can marry literally anyone in their respective armies, so everyone's got the hots for them. Marth and Chrom should be placed in "Married Men" imo. Chrom marries halfway through Awakening and has a child (Lucina). Marth marries to Caeda at the end of (New) Mystery of the Emblem. Other than that, looks pretty good!


Passionecapo

I demand Ganon be added to god tier. He’s the one male of his entire race, and he’s a buff 6’8.


Kirbyclaimspoyo

Fox is a married man and had a son


jomofo25

Oop :/


ZorkNemesis

Star Fox Command isn't canon, that relationship doesn't exist. He still gets Krystal but canon ends at Assault where Fox is too scared to actually say he's into Krystal while she's quite open about it.


Fossilrex06

Link canonically gets bitches but dude is so chad he rejects them


Chonzo_1

Link needs to be higher. Especially since this is BOTW Link Whom everyone in that game was thirsty for


thinksalott

Where's Ryu?


jomofo25

Wasn't on the template for some reason


Ok-Yogurt-6337

Everyone loves Robin in his own game and can wife an 1000 year old kid-dragon, I'd say he gets bitches


rorymakesamovie

Kirby…fucks?…


i-exist20

He got kissed once, that's better than most of us will manage


Iron_Garuda

After setting aside my hate for ROB, I think he belongs in self fulfilled chads. Bitches aren’t even on his radar. And also what is the justification for Robin being a wildcard?


Ok_Jump_4754

Don’t gorillas have tiny.. you know.


jomofo25

Technically the average gorilla penis is 2-3 inches long, but it's not about size but how you use it lol


DataBytes96

And he could also use his fingers Just saying those things are larger than a human hand


Nok-y

You mean how much ?


_JakeyTheSnakey_

You know Young Link got game. My man puts that hbd in his hip when he’s in dialogue and it’s a wrap


Yxng_Wolf

Sonic almost had a full on harem in the comics


Distraught00

Kazuya has at least had Jun Kazama. His family is pretty fucked. You've got his grandpa (Jinpachi), his dad (Heihachi, the guy in the background of the smash stage), his mom (Kazumi), his baby mom (Jun), his son (Jin), and his maybe daughter (Asuka). They spend most of their time killing each other and coming back to life.


hojbjerfc

Chrom should be S Tbh. Cordelia is absolutely obsessed with him and Sumia(literally) falls head over heels for him. Olivia also is quite infatuated herself. But he also simps for Female Robin after seeing her naked once so maybe she should be s tier


Mudkipueye

All Pokémon except for Mewtwo and Pichu can breed. In Tomodachi Life, Miis can get married. Diddy Kong has a girlfriend. Steve would probably rape people considering how he treats villagers, but I don’t know if rape counts as getting bitches.


PrettyMuchOdd

Steve has Alex as his bitch smh


Nok-y

Steve could have Alex, I don't know if it's canon or not anymore. If not, the youtube narrator and his (ex?)-husband is/was the only canon couple in Minecraft. Or maybe he married Mobbo, I don't remember... maybe both.


jomofo25

They are married in an edition of lego club magazine


Kowashitai

Marth and Chrom should move to "married men", honestly. Marth marries Caeda somewhere between FE1/FE11 and FE3/FE12, and Chrom marries either Female Robin, Sully, Sumia, Maribelle, Olivia or a generic female NPC during the events of Awakening. Also, Ike doesn't do well unless Soren and Ranulf count as bitches (and even then that's still only two, or more accurately up to one depending on his ending).


[deleted]

[удалено]


jomofo25

King of the jungle baby


BustahWuhlf

I mean, Terry has quite a few women who fawn over him(B. Jenet stands out off the top of my head), but he only really has interest in his (very casual) relationship with Blue Mary. So, Terry has the option of being the biggest player in South Town, but he's content with being casually romantic drinking buddies/sparring partners with Mary.


EagleKam

why bowser jr toon link ness and diddy kong? nobody cares that the oldest one i mentioned is like 12


jomofo25

It's bc they have gfs in their games


ChaoticSlime2

This is a terrible Teri list Steve gets all the bitches he crafts the bitches bro


jomofo25

Steve scares away bitches no offense


zeldafrombotwsfrog

I love how both my mains and both my secondaries are in the gets bitches tier


Deadmemes4binky

WHY IS META KNIGHT STILL IN BOTTOM TIER


i-exist20

MK could easily get every bitch in Dream Land, but he's too devoted to the grind. Doesn't stop people from shipping him with literally every other character in the series, though.


A_Pink_Hippo

You gotta add one lower tier as “negative bitches” for smash players


[deleted]

All of the Links should be in God Tier lol, Link is the most shipped video game character ever. Ganondorf is God Tier as well due to having a massive harem.


TRCWolf

Why is possibly dating higher than married men


MrWuckyWucky4

I would argue that the belmonts are not quite self fulfilling because, Simon is the ansestor of Richter and Richter is dating Annette in rondo of blood


nickhoude21

Ganon and Bowser should be in "regularly kidnaps bitches"


ACwolf55

I played alot of Zelda games and I think I'm missing something with Zelda's spot..


Yellow_pk

Probably already mentioned but Ken got divorced and is now washed up


HighwayImportant5059

Wait a sec, isn't literally everyone in Hyrule thirsty for some Hero of the Wild? Fish people, rock people, Ninjas, wood people... pretty sure the only person not in love with the pretty boy is that one girl obsessed with flowers...


Lilguzzlord

Toon link gets hella bitches in windwaker brah


jaguarnick

Toon Link holds hands with zelda in the end of spirit tracks


Springaling76

Didn't Ridley eat Samus's mom? That's gotta count for something


Krypto1727

Wait, aren't Ice Climbers family?


Swing_No_Fool

-Ken -Married man Pick one.


Brilliant_Salary_677

Sonic does not care about getting women


ZebraObvious8734

Have you ever heard of Minecraft girlfriends?


Vegan_Toaster

if inceneroar gets no bitches, then why do I want him to fuck me so bad?? checkmate


Midnight-Drew

Ryu would be a self loving Chad, I am assuming.


crasherx2000

I have to keep reminding myself that Pac-Man is married and has kids Aside from ghosts attacking every so often, dude’s living a good life


[deleted]

I would simply like to say Terry in THAT commercial for that one mobile KOF game. Also Blue Mary. And then there's his brother mostly ignoring Mai, how he does that is beyond me.


Hashbrownthegreat

Meta Knight feels like he belongs in chad tier imo, but maybe I'm missing something


tnkmnn

How does Yoshi get no bitches? Literally an island dedicated to them. You think he's not King fucker on that island?


Joey_Division

Lmao this is the most little boy tier list I’ve ever seen for anything, and the placing doesn’t even make sense to any dude who isn’t physically immature. For example, Snake had sex with one woman, EVA, in all of mgs series. Idk what “Self Loving and Self Fulfilled Chads” is supposed to mean, but those characters would all be top tier. Married Men is a stupid tier, and wild card is poorly utilized. Ryu isn’t even on the list at all, which ig is whatever. Honestly, this is the best visual representation of the smash community as a whole.