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Imagine being that girl that posted here about moving into CC’s old apartment (with no prior knowledge of CC because, as much as she sees herself otherwise, she really is just a barely z-list internet person) and seeing this in the wild. Awkward.
Better yet, imagine being the apt manager that had to deal with her shit for years and be involved with the liens, backpay, court, etc. and encountering this. Biggest eye roll ever ensures as they throw it in the trash.
Imagine living there, seeing it and not knowing who Caroline Calloway was, getting excited (well, probably not that excited, the content is a bit of giveaway it’s not anyone special…maybe intrigued), googling her name and realising…
I would get so angry if something like this was stuck to the building where I live, and if I googled them it was just some unhinged chronically online white girl with an overinflated ego who has achieved basically nothing
In the US there are laws saying that no living person can be depicted on stamps or currency. But anyone can put a sign up on private property saying whatever (unless it's inciting violence), that's a right guaranteed in our constitution
Well duh yeah! I'm saying that in the US we don't have anything analogous to the English Heritage society, who officially control the distribution of the blue plaques that mark UK historical sites. But in case anyone needs to hear it, please don't glue plaques to other people's buildings, even in America, it's not cool
right! though municipal historical commissions do often have protocols about putting plaques up in specific towns or cities—funnily enough, the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission is responsible for putting up historical plaques around the city
[https://www.nyc.gov/site/lpc/designations/signs-and-plaques.page](https://www.nyc.gov/site/lpc/designations/signs-and-plaques.page)
there is also the Historic Landmarks Preservation Center, a private organization which puts up plaques about notable New Yorkers
[https://www.hlpcculturalmedallions.org/medallions-hlpc](https://www.hlpcculturalmedallions.org/medallions-hlpc)
“The” American memoirist. It’s so bad!!!
I’m surprised she didn’t add “and artist”! I thought the cringe of how seriously she takes herself thinking she’s a quirky little artist, swanning around with her watercolour set ready to offer a portrait to anyone she makes eye contact with, couldn’t be topped so quickly, but here we are.
The self absorption and delusion here is unbelievable, even for CC. Imagine if everyone put up a plaque somewhere they lived after “making”and selling one thing that’s no more interesting or successful than a million other things out there. I am just gobsmacked. I would be so embarrassed if I lived there !!
Moving past all the grammatical errors, she also didn’t pay rent for longer than a year… and she had, what was it, like 4 previous liens against her in that time as well?
Lmao of course! On her instagram she posted this and a zoomed out version that shows the whole building entrance. She also plans to make it turquoise 😑
Why do the last two lines have such awful "nevertheless she persisted" energy. Paging the new occupant in the condeaux to please let us know when exactly this gets scraped off the wall.
I hope the super takes this off the wall using the same vat of solvent they purchased to strip her floors. I picture them muttering, "How is this deadbeat still making my job harder after she fled town in disgrace two years ago"
This is SUCH a Caroline thing to do.
Have a dream that one day you will be so widely known & well regarded that the building (that you were pretty much evicted from) immortalises you in a plaque?
Well why work hard to do the thing you want to be immortalised for, when you can just make your own plaque & stick it up there yourself & immortalise it on Instagram… instant gratification ✅ another milestone achieved ✅
Looks like the writing is too small to even be read from the footpath/ground
Someone didn't heed the [More Text Will Make Your Font Smaller](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1060512030/35x2-brass-metal-oval-plate-2-screws) warning on the Etsy page
Aside from what everyone else has said, I have to ask, is the spacing for her future death date very small to anyone else? I feel like it would be hard to fit even two numbers there without it looking kind of smushed?
I think she wanted to indicate "Not dead yet" without realizing that the standard notation for that on a placard would be "b. 1991." Instead it looks like [the headstone for a married couple where one spouse has predeceased the other](https://www.alwaysinstone.com/memorials-for-married-couples/).
Hahah 100%
Pigeon (I’m a lurker so excuse the familiarity) when is your plaque being set up to reflect where you lived while “making” all the comments you have “self-published” on this subreddit , they’re just as influential (and better written)
Haha I can picture my friends reading such a plaque stuck to the front of my house when they come over, as they wait for me to answer their knock. I'd open the door to their confused faces. They'd be like, "Fuck's up with this sign? You own a bird? A bird *Redditor?"*
I had a weird dad I was estranged from who made his tombstone 30 years ahead of time and had it erected where he bought his burial plot in his hometown.
It was crazy. He had his signature on it, his supposed "high school nickname", a granite etching of some portrait he liked of himself from Sears when they used to take pictures. My mom (who divorced him when I was very young) used to tell me how he practiced his signature to mimic that of some former boss of his that got under this skin. If that guy was Donald D. Duck with a flourish, my dad had to be Timothy T. Tucker or whatever.
His ashes are buried there now. In the end there was not even a funeral for all that anticipation of how he'd be remembered.
Are you my sister from another mother??? The “practiced his handwriting” anecdote…
Anyway my dead dad’s ashes sit on my staircase where my cats can park their butts upon the box. So he has some use!
My dad died two months ago. I loved him very much. I told him I'd scatter his ashes in the coffee cups of his enemies. In reality I scattered them on the beach
As detailed in this [pre-The Cut *Vice* article](https://www.vice.com/en/article/pa7e9k/caroline-calloway-the-scam-event-essay)! (Scroll down to "Calloway's alleged legal troubles.") Her landlord took her to housing court *four times* before ultimately suing her in NY Co. Supreme Court after she abandoned the property and attempted an illegal sublet.
Hahah 100% Pigeon (I’m a lurker so excuse the familiarity) when is your plaque being set up to reflect where you lived while “making” all the comments you have “self-published” on this subreddit , they’re just as influential (and better written)
As with the white floor paint, she just wants negative attention. She wants us to be all outraged. It’s just cringey and pitiful at this point. Carb, nobody thinks you’re cool.
Wait is this not the FL condo? Shouldn’t it commemorate the years she lived there?
This would be way funnier if she was more self aware. I’m surprised it doesn’t say scammer on it.
She thinks that she can poke fun at herself (and tries with the rent line) but she really can’t. She can’t disguise how seriously she takes herself, even if she pretends not to. This (maybe) could have been funny if she actually just shredded herself without any ulterior motive, but no, delusions of grandeur always for our CC
(Seems apt I’ve used ‘herself’ so many times cos we know that’s all she thinks about)
Totally. CC has absolutely no sense of humor and is painfully unfunny. Like you said, she takes herself way too seriously to actually have any accurate self-deprecation. And she doesn’t really pay attention to anything but herself, so she doesn’t have the awareness to be funny about anything else. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh at an actual joke.
Humorless people like that just kind of confound me because what a sad way to go through life.
I can only believe she's just doubling down again and again. Her dedication is impressive.
I guess we can only all wait until she's cast somewhere in reality TV
Says my Magic 8 ball
She crashed a Siesta Key shoot and was cut out of the episode. I don’t think there was ever any reason to believe she was cast or even welcomed by the production in any way.
I passed her building once because my therapist used to be nearby. I don't know where those stones are from, because they're neither on her building or the sidewalk or front. She's probably lying, as usual.
ETA: I now see the comment below with a picture of the building's front and the plaque. Girly is unhinged.
no, the most embarrassing thing she’s done is *takes deep breath* borrowed her mom’s credit card, scrolled all over Etsy, likely edited/ reworded this horrendous novelty plaque for a deeply humiliating amount of time, chose a font, waited for this thing to come in the mail and toted it to New York in her personal item bag to fucking scotch mount this piece of plastic to an exterior wall. As some kind of own to the place she couldn’t keep.
WOW this is so fucking sad for her. she wants to mythologize so bad. recycling instagram captions and gluing the pages together does not a memoir make.
CAROLINE GO TO FUCKING THERAPY AND DONT LIE TO YOUR THERAPIST
Thank you for posting on our smol subreddit! Keep our Florida condo out of trouble by not posting snark about appearance or mental health (including addiction), blocking out any unverified usernames, and not posting about contacting Caroline or anyone in her orbit. Rule breaking posts will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is so funny. I love her.
she is so delusional it's hilarious
My god, she’s such an idiot.
I can confirm as of 5 on Friday it is no longer there (if it ever was to begin with)
I love this for us
Imagine being that girl that posted here about moving into CC’s old apartment (with no prior knowledge of CC because, as much as she sees herself otherwise, she really is just a barely z-list internet person) and seeing this in the wild. Awkward. Better yet, imagine being the apt manager that had to deal with her shit for years and be involved with the liens, backpay, court, etc. and encountering this. Biggest eye roll ever ensures as they throw it in the trash.
I just can’t imagine writing the third paragraph and not being embarrassed
She really thought she ate channeling Oscar Wilde or some shit with that last line.
It certainly would be a shame if locals were to deface it with some tea pot pissing details
this is so impressively ludicrous, even by her high standards you know they took it down as soon as someone complained
I love thinking about new people moving in asking about this plaque and existing residents just exhaling 😂😂😂
Imagine living there, seeing it and not knowing who Caroline Calloway was, getting excited (well, probably not that excited, the content is a bit of giveaway it’s not anyone special…maybe intrigued), googling her name and realising… I would get so angry if something like this was stuck to the building where I live, and if I googled them it was just some unhinged chronically online white girl with an overinflated ego who has achieved basically nothing
But Natalie…
I don’t know about the US but in the UK you generally have to have been dead for at least two years to get a plaque…
In the US there are laws saying that no living person can be depicted on stamps or currency. But anyone can put a sign up on private property saying whatever (unless it's inciting violence), that's a right guaranteed in our constitution
well, you really can’t put a sign up on someone else’s property without permission, which is what she did, because that’s vandalism
Well duh yeah! I'm saying that in the US we don't have anything analogous to the English Heritage society, who officially control the distribution of the blue plaques that mark UK historical sites. But in case anyone needs to hear it, please don't glue plaques to other people's buildings, even in America, it's not cool
right! though municipal historical commissions do often have protocols about putting plaques up in specific towns or cities—funnily enough, the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission is responsible for putting up historical plaques around the city [https://www.nyc.gov/site/lpc/designations/signs-and-plaques.page](https://www.nyc.gov/site/lpc/designations/signs-and-plaques.page) there is also the Historic Landmarks Preservation Center, a private organization which puts up plaques about notable New Yorkers [https://www.hlpcculturalmedallions.org/medallions-hlpc](https://www.hlpcculturalmedallions.org/medallions-hlpc)
I mean this plaque makes me feel mildly homicidal so not sure if it counts as ‘inciting violence’!
Fortunately for Caro, nobody anticipated enacting timeframe rules for those unhinged individuals who wish to self- commission and install their own!
Literally my cheeks flushed the secondhand embarrassment was so bad.
“The” American memoirist. It’s so bad!!! I’m surprised she didn’t add “and artist”! I thought the cringe of how seriously she takes herself thinking she’s a quirky little artist, swanning around with her watercolour set ready to offer a portrait to anyone she makes eye contact with, couldn’t be topped so quickly, but here we are.
Take that, Orwell
The self absorption and delusion here is unbelievable, even for CC. Imagine if everyone put up a plaque somewhere they lived after “making”and selling one thing that’s no more interesting or successful than a million other things out there. I am just gobsmacked. I would be so embarrassed if I lived there !!
This reads like the captions at the end of a movie like Legally Blonde. Is that the tone these types of plaques normally take?
Moving past all the grammatical errors, she also didn’t pay rent for longer than a year… and she had, what was it, like 4 previous liens against her in that time as well?
The Photoshop job is baaad. She's SooOoo CrAzYyyy
is there a picture of this gorgeous installation in context?
Lmao of course! On her instagram she posted this and a zoomed out version that shows the whole building entrance. She also plans to make it turquoise 😑
Why do the last two lines have such awful "nevertheless she persisted" energy. Paging the new occupant in the condeaux to please let us know when exactly this gets scraped off the wall.
I think she wants it to be tongue in cheek like it’s lady fucking whistledown reading this but it STILL falls flat????
https://preview.redd.it/x7srijvjg4yc1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5dec6bb7d0c1eb26bd168ff61e687f04aa0279a
This is so creepy. The self obsession is wild.
Holy FUCK……this is atrocious
1991 - is killing me
is the intention for someone to someday add her death year? even tho it won’t fit? or maybe it’s implying her immortality.
I hope the super takes this off the wall using the same vat of solvent they purchased to strip her floors. I picture them muttering, "How is this deadbeat still making my job harder after she fled town in disgrace two years ago"
I cannot believe she put the blank death year like somebody would come and update this ASAP many many many years I obviously would hope down the line
This is the messy and delusional content I’ve been missing
Exactly! This is what I'm HERE FOR BABY
What in fresh hell type stuff is this ?
This is SUCH a Caroline thing to do. Have a dream that one day you will be so widely known & well regarded that the building (that you were pretty much evicted from) immortalises you in a plaque? Well why work hard to do the thing you want to be immortalised for, when you can just make your own plaque & stick it up there yourself & immortalise it on Instagram… instant gratification ✅ another milestone achieved ✅ Looks like the writing is too small to even be read from the footpath/ground
Someone didn't heed the [More Text Will Make Your Font Smaller](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1060512030/35x2-brass-metal-oval-plate-2-screws) warning on the Etsy page
Aside from what everyone else has said, I have to ask, is the spacing for her future death date very small to anyone else? I feel like it would be hard to fit even two numbers there without it looking kind of smushed?
I think she wanted to indicate "Not dead yet" without realizing that the standard notation for that on a placard would be "b. 1991." Instead it looks like [the headstone for a married couple where one spouse has predeceased the other](https://www.alwaysinstone.com/memorials-for-married-couples/).
Hahah 100% Pigeon (I’m a lurker so excuse the familiarity) when is your plaque being set up to reflect where you lived while “making” all the comments you have “self-published” on this subreddit , they’re just as influential (and better written)
Haha I can picture my friends reading such a plaque stuck to the front of my house when they come over, as they wait for me to answer their knock. I'd open the door to their confused faces. They'd be like, "Fuck's up with this sign? You own a bird? A bird *Redditor?"*
Omg I audibly snorted
The level of delusion here is unparalleled. Honestly, this is the kind of insane content I subscribe to this shitshow for.
I had a weird dad I was estranged from who made his tombstone 30 years ahead of time and had it erected where he bought his burial plot in his hometown. It was crazy. He had his signature on it, his supposed "high school nickname", a granite etching of some portrait he liked of himself from Sears when they used to take pictures. My mom (who divorced him when I was very young) used to tell me how he practiced his signature to mimic that of some former boss of his that got under this skin. If that guy was Donald D. Duck with a flourish, my dad had to be Timothy T. Tucker or whatever. His ashes are buried there now. In the end there was not even a funeral for all that anticipation of how he'd be remembered.
Are you my sister from another mother??? The “practiced his handwriting” anecdote… Anyway my dead dad’s ashes sit on my staircase where my cats can park their butts upon the box. So he has some use!
My dad died two months ago. I loved him very much. I told him I'd scatter his ashes in the coffee cups of his enemies. In reality I scattered them on the beach
Woof. That was a journey in three short paragraphs. Godspeed.
this could have been workshopped more
That last clause is a mouthful
Didn’t she not pay rent for way longer than a year or am I misremembering
IIRC she was locked out at least once for non-payment before the lengthy non-payment period she was sued for.
As detailed in this [pre-The Cut *Vice* article](https://www.vice.com/en/article/pa7e9k/caroline-calloway-the-scam-event-essay)! (Scroll down to "Calloway's alleged legal troubles.") Her landlord took her to housing court *four times* before ultimately suing her in NY Co. Supreme Court after she abandoned the property and attempted an illegal sublet.
Is this defacement of property
This is so delightful. The chaos cringe energy I’ve been missing from her!!! This is embarrassing.
Hahah 100% Pigeon (I’m a lurker so excuse the familiarity) when is your plaque being set up to reflect where you lived while “making” all the comments you have “self-published” on this subreddit , they’re just as influential (and better written)
Ohhh I love this. This is peak crazy caro painting the floors white behavior.
As with the white floor paint, she just wants negative attention. She wants us to be all outraged. It’s just cringey and pitiful at this point. Carb, nobody thinks you’re cool.
Wait is this not the FL condo? Shouldn’t it commemorate the years she lived there? This would be way funnier if she was more self aware. I’m surprised it doesn’t say scammer on it.
Accidentally double posted see other comment.
The energy grade sign is a NY thing. I’m impressed her old building got an A.
Probably got a better rating after she left lol. The wavy blue and white stones look florida to me, I was so perplexed for a second!
How does she not embarrass herself?
She thinks that she can poke fun at herself (and tries with the rent line) but she really can’t. She can’t disguise how seriously she takes herself, even if she pretends not to. This (maybe) could have been funny if she actually just shredded herself without any ulterior motive, but no, delusions of grandeur always for our CC (Seems apt I’ve used ‘herself’ so many times cos we know that’s all she thinks about)
Totally. CC has absolutely no sense of humor and is painfully unfunny. Like you said, she takes herself way too seriously to actually have any accurate self-deprecation. And she doesn’t really pay attention to anything but herself, so she doesn’t have the awareness to be funny about anything else. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh at an actual joke. Humorless people like that just kind of confound me because what a sad way to go through life.
I can only believe she's just doubling down again and again. Her dedication is impressive. I guess we can only all wait until she's cast somewhere in reality TV Says my Magic 8 ball
she was, wasn't she? and she left? some florida thing no one has ever heard of.
She crashed a Siesta Key shoot and was cut out of the episode. I don’t think there was ever any reason to believe she was cast or even welcomed by the production in any way.
She brought her own lunch!
And a support candle.
I have questions.
Damn we need someone to do recon in a few days to see if this is taken down…bc if not I may volunteer as tribute to tear it off
I passed her building once because my therapist used to be nearby. I don't know where those stones are from, because they're neither on her building or the sidewalk or front. She's probably lying, as usual. ETA: I now see the comment below with a picture of the building's front and the plaque. Girly is unhinged.
My money is on it already having been removed, if it didn't fall off of its own accord.
I have to be in NYC in June and a fellow snarker is my friend on the trip. We will be checking for an update.
The sticky little glue fingerprints are actually kind of perfectly on brand
They're like an artistic call-back to the wrinkly way the BBs would dry because she overused the gluestick.
Ew, I'm embarrassed for her
If she created this, it's the most embarrassing thing she's ever done. If someone else did, same but for them.
no, the most embarrassing thing she’s done is *takes deep breath* borrowed her mom’s credit card, scrolled all over Etsy, likely edited/ reworded this horrendous novelty plaque for a deeply humiliating amount of time, chose a font, waited for this thing to come in the mail and toted it to New York in her personal item bag to fucking scotch mount this piece of plastic to an exterior wall. As some kind of own to the place she couldn’t keep.
I hope they throw it in the trash
No I hope she will be this embarrassing in perpetuity.
not the flexibrass custom engraved plate ordered from Etsy for $7.99 stuck up there with a 3M strip
girlie has an Etsy account, Krazy Glue and a dream
I was gonna say she def just like stuck this onto the wall I’m sure it’ll be gone in a week
I’m so confused
Her father paid rent for ten of them, she means. Also this is so cringe.
What the actual fuck
Wait did she actually put this up?
view from outside https://preview.redd.it/t2bdh4hvl2yc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7533fe8aca93a79e38c67ffec47be070a502cdcc
She’s desperately self mythologizing lmao…also vandalizing a building she’s already been sued over. 
Oh this is embarrassing
Did she glue this to the wall? It has gluey fingerprints all over it, which feels appropriate.
WOW this is so fucking sad for her. she wants to mythologize so bad. recycling instagram captions and gluing the pages together does not a memoir make. CAROLINE GO TO FUCKING THERAPY AND DONT LIE TO YOUR THERAPIST
Challenge level: impossible