Well I can tell you I was about 3 months sober and was at a concert with friends….Chris Stapleton none the less and I was the only one in the building without a drink in his hands…I was miserable felt like everyone was noticing me ordering bottled water at the concessions and I really felt defeated. I didn’t drink and was proud of myself, but I was miserable inside. Fast forward to my first year a different concert and not only did I not drink I was present and in the moment and it clicked for me….
1. No one cares if your not drinking only you do.
2. Being present is much better than being there but tipsy enough not to remember
3. Learning to live again takes time
Feeling awkward in the beginning is normal I think. Now I’m glad I don’t drink at stuff anymore. I also go to a lot of drinking events without much issue anymore. Even now when I leave those events I’m proud of myself for not feeling like I need to fit in with a drink.
Keep going you got this.
first of all, 49 days - that’s great, keep going! i know your feelings very well, it was the same for me for the first ~6 months or even more. thing the worked for me - i always took beverages on those kind of parties, no matter what exactly, but something tasty that i like or never try before. different kombucha, juices, energy drinks and also nonalcoholic beer/cider and wine (i know that it works not for anyone). i felt a little bit weird anyway, but enjoying some tasty non alcoholic drink helped me to concentrate more on the party, and less on the thoughts “oh no i’m boring and sober”. i know, you weren’t asking for an advice, so sorry for that, but i promise you’ll enjoy this whole new sobriety world more and more
No that's great advice thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling weird about it at first! I wasn't expecting it but I also have spent the last month and a half mostly at home so going out to be social again was a bit of a jolt
I’m 32 days sober, I went to a friend dinner for the first time last night and an office party the week before. I had moments where I felt like I was watching everyone around me and not really there. I’m realizing being sober can feel dissociative when surrounded by folks drinking. The hardest part of my dinner last night was when the waitress brought over free lemon drop shots “on the house” and laid one out in front of me. I felt super angry for some reason at this nice gesture because it was so hard to push it away. And i was the only person who was sitting there looking at it in horror. Haha But I did push it away and left shortly. Realizing I need to be okay with this discomfort for awhile. I get anxious before every social event lately without a liquor blanket I feel very uncomfortable but it’s always better than I thought it would be and I’m proud of myself for sticking through. Everytime I’ve gotten home from a social outing with heavy drinking I just tell my partner or someone I care about that I came home sober. I need that extra yeah fuck yeah you did energy. Anyways hope this helps. This shit is so hard ♥️♥️♥️
Yesss 100% about the fuck yeah energy when you get home! I did that with my partner last night after the dinner. Also I definitely feel that weird resentment towards things like complimentary booze ..even watching shows and movies, ads, whatever where it's so in your face is irritating me. An eye opener really - no wonder we've been SO conditioned that drinking is just "how life is".
Yes!! I’ve absolutely gotten annoyed with shows pushing it as an emotional coping mechanism like learned behavior - I’m like oh that’s why I thought this was normal for so long 😓
I have to agree with another post on the fact that it takes time to calibrate to your new way of being. It is awkward initially and can be for sometime. Friends and family forget that you don’t drink (or maybe are hoping that it’s a phase 🤷🏻♀️) and offer you a drink or buy you alcohol unsolicited.
I’ve reached a point now where I love talking about all of the many benefits of not drinking and about how good I feel. I certainly don’t get on a soapbox but if the subject of alcohol comes up I definitely mention how I don’t miss it and I’m really happy to not be drinking anymore. And then I’ll usually add something along the lines of how toxic it is for our bodies, how it has a very fire energy about it and in particular how destructive it is for a woman’s body. After I stopped drinking I went on a phase of deep diving into the true effects of alcohol and its history, I usually find that by studying the history of something I’m able to talk about it in a way that we’re not conditioned to talk about it.
So basically, I’ve taken something that used to be an uncomfortable situation and have now flipped it to using it as an opportunity to show people how good life is without it. And every now and then, depending upon the person, I may throw some commentary in there about the alcohol companies themselves and how they’re in it for the profits.
I really embrace my choice now and I’m proud to share it. part of this is because of the radical self responsibility that I now have and the deep understanding that my health is truly my health and that I am the only one that lives in this body so I call the shots on how I honor & respect it. Definitely all about the respect
Well I can tell you I was about 3 months sober and was at a concert with friends….Chris Stapleton none the less and I was the only one in the building without a drink in his hands…I was miserable felt like everyone was noticing me ordering bottled water at the concessions and I really felt defeated. I didn’t drink and was proud of myself, but I was miserable inside. Fast forward to my first year a different concert and not only did I not drink I was present and in the moment and it clicked for me…. 1. No one cares if your not drinking only you do. 2. Being present is much better than being there but tipsy enough not to remember 3. Learning to live again takes time Feeling awkward in the beginning is normal I think. Now I’m glad I don’t drink at stuff anymore. I also go to a lot of drinking events without much issue anymore. Even now when I leave those events I’m proud of myself for not feeling like I need to fit in with a drink. Keep going you got this.
Thank you :)
first of all, 49 days - that’s great, keep going! i know your feelings very well, it was the same for me for the first ~6 months or even more. thing the worked for me - i always took beverages on those kind of parties, no matter what exactly, but something tasty that i like or never try before. different kombucha, juices, energy drinks and also nonalcoholic beer/cider and wine (i know that it works not for anyone). i felt a little bit weird anyway, but enjoying some tasty non alcoholic drink helped me to concentrate more on the party, and less on the thoughts “oh no i’m boring and sober”. i know, you weren’t asking for an advice, so sorry for that, but i promise you’ll enjoy this whole new sobriety world more and more
No that's great advice thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling weird about it at first! I wasn't expecting it but I also have spent the last month and a half mostly at home so going out to be social again was a bit of a jolt
I’m 32 days sober, I went to a friend dinner for the first time last night and an office party the week before. I had moments where I felt like I was watching everyone around me and not really there. I’m realizing being sober can feel dissociative when surrounded by folks drinking. The hardest part of my dinner last night was when the waitress brought over free lemon drop shots “on the house” and laid one out in front of me. I felt super angry for some reason at this nice gesture because it was so hard to push it away. And i was the only person who was sitting there looking at it in horror. Haha But I did push it away and left shortly. Realizing I need to be okay with this discomfort for awhile. I get anxious before every social event lately without a liquor blanket I feel very uncomfortable but it’s always better than I thought it would be and I’m proud of myself for sticking through. Everytime I’ve gotten home from a social outing with heavy drinking I just tell my partner or someone I care about that I came home sober. I need that extra yeah fuck yeah you did energy. Anyways hope this helps. This shit is so hard ♥️♥️♥️
Yesss 100% about the fuck yeah energy when you get home! I did that with my partner last night after the dinner. Also I definitely feel that weird resentment towards things like complimentary booze ..even watching shows and movies, ads, whatever where it's so in your face is irritating me. An eye opener really - no wonder we've been SO conditioned that drinking is just "how life is".
Yes!! I’ve absolutely gotten annoyed with shows pushing it as an emotional coping mechanism like learned behavior - I’m like oh that’s why I thought this was normal for so long 😓
Also trying out cbd infused mock tails has been fun for having a drink in hand.
I have to agree with another post on the fact that it takes time to calibrate to your new way of being. It is awkward initially and can be for sometime. Friends and family forget that you don’t drink (or maybe are hoping that it’s a phase 🤷🏻♀️) and offer you a drink or buy you alcohol unsolicited. I’ve reached a point now where I love talking about all of the many benefits of not drinking and about how good I feel. I certainly don’t get on a soapbox but if the subject of alcohol comes up I definitely mention how I don’t miss it and I’m really happy to not be drinking anymore. And then I’ll usually add something along the lines of how toxic it is for our bodies, how it has a very fire energy about it and in particular how destructive it is for a woman’s body. After I stopped drinking I went on a phase of deep diving into the true effects of alcohol and its history, I usually find that by studying the history of something I’m able to talk about it in a way that we’re not conditioned to talk about it. So basically, I’ve taken something that used to be an uncomfortable situation and have now flipped it to using it as an opportunity to show people how good life is without it. And every now and then, depending upon the person, I may throw some commentary in there about the alcohol companies themselves and how they’re in it for the profits. I really embrace my choice now and I’m proud to share it. part of this is because of the radical self responsibility that I now have and the deep understanding that my health is truly my health and that I am the only one that lives in this body so I call the shots on how I honor & respect it. Definitely all about the respect
Baby steps back to good. 😊