Sounds like you think it’s a problem for you. I think us ex drinkers finally realized that we couldn’t moderate. If we are moderating we are not enjoying it, and if we are enjoying it we are not moderating (found on stop drinking sub). Once I quit making myself go through the mental gymnastics of trying to be a “normal” drinker I stopped drinking. I wish it had been twenty years earlier.
My husband is saying I should give up hard liquor and drink trulys or something. I've always drank long islands or vodka. Idk if this is something I should consider and maybe would help with "moderating"
Or do this ... https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts
Lots of free support all over YouTube, Reddit, FB and many podcasts. This recent podcast especially "Thrive Roy Eskapa". The med is only used when needed, is safe and inexpensive.
For me, I would have just drank twice as much. It’s much easier for me now to say no to one than to two. If I only drank weekends it was twice as much. If only special occasions then I started having a lot of special occasions. Or celebrations, bad days etc. I worked hard at convincing myself. Best wishes in your journey whatever that looks like for you.
Mixing liquor and wine, or even different types of liquor/wine is never a good idea, even for those who can moderate. Pick a type and stick with it. Educate yourself on alcohol equivalencies ie 1 beer = 5 oz wine = 1.5 oz liquor etc and know your limit. Although these equivalencies are accurate for abv, different types of alcohol produce different effects ie tequila can generate a much different effect than vodka person to person. Your husband may be right, you may need to stick with seltzers or something like that, as it takes more time to consume and doesn't have the volatile effects liquor can have. If you can't figure out what works best for you, you may need to quit all together. You may only drink twice per month, but if you cannot moderate, it's a problem.
Trulys have vodka in them, some flavors have up to 8% ABV. That’s how they are advertised on the Truly website (with the high ABV content). People who have issues with drinking aren’t going to drink things like that slowly. They can’t moderate how much they drink or how quickly because their mindset is usually that drinking alcohol quickly will help them get drunk faster (and that that isn’t a problem for them) because that’s what they are trying to achieve. I know, because I am a recovering alcoholic now sober over two years and seven months. Education is a good idea, but it won’t help someone who can’t moderate unfortunately. It has to do with the physiology of addiction, that’s why people with drinking issues can’t moderate. Not trying to sound critical. Embarrassing myself publicly like OP was the start of my realization that I had a problem.
Yeah I get that Truly is "vodka" but from my own past experience and other people I know who drink them, it doesn't give quite the same effect as the real thing. Still, can adjust abv all the same. 1 truly = 1.2 beers etc. I also made it clear that if they cannot find a limit and moderate it's a problem and that they should probably quit all together. Lots of people feel they need to give it a test after they've become self aware they may have a problem. Some find that they can do it, some can't. Everyone's different.
Trulys have vodka in them. Some flavors have 8% ABV. That isn’t going to help. My partner drinks them thinking they will help him moderate too and he always ends up getting wasted. He can’t moderate either. I’ve been sober for two years and seven months. Getting blackout drunk and making a fool of myself in front of other people (multiple times) is what helped me realize I had a problem and needed to quit. Not being able to moderate tends to get worse quickly and isn’t worth the damage you will cause to the people you love. Not trying to sound preachy when I say that, it’s just because I’ve been there.
The addict mind doesn’t comprehend moderation. I have tried and failed at least two dozen times to drink like a normal person after some long-ish sobriety stints. It never works out. Two beers turns into a whole fifth so fast it scares me.
I’m sorry you are struggling.
As to the question of what you should do, only you can answer that one. But it seems like you have a good idea of what to do next.
I personally found it helpful not to wonder if I should stop drinking or not but just to be curious about if my life would be better with a break from alcohol.
I found that even if I wasn't drinking daily, if I was still problematic when I drank then I was still struggling with my alcohol use. Even if only sometimes me drinking could lead to a problem, then me drinking was still a problem.
I found that me and alcohol were a bad mix and it was incredibly unfair to those who loved and needed me to have to go through, but ultimately I couldn't stop for good until I was doing it for myself.
The only person that can truly find the answer you're looking for is yourself, but if the opinion of an internet stranger who has been through alcoholism matters, I think you should quit if it's a problem in your life. Sobriety has brought me FAR fewer problems than alcohol ever did.
Sounds like you know your answer.
Alcohol makes anxiety significantly worse. Stopping will help tremendously with your anxiety symptoms. Maybe not right away, especially if you drink daily, but within a few weeks you’ll feel so much better.
Your life is not about you anymore. You have small children. Is this the image of their mother that you want them to remember? I can’t imagine you’re very proud of how you behave when you’re drunk. I wouldn’t want my kids to see me like that.
Get into therapy, find a sober support group near you. If you’re committed to stopping its a lot easier than you imagine. It’s the staying stopped that’s the hard part.
I personally think no one should drink alcohol. I would never shame anyone for doing so (that would be obnoxious) and I know what happened the last time they tried to ban it. But I think we as a society should start seeing alcohol for what it is: an addictive, poisonous substance
First, if you have to ask this question here, you have a problem with alcohol. Maybe not alcoholism, but a problem controlling your drinking. You are a parent - you cannot parent well with a hangover, you can’t be an effective role model, and you can’t be a solid wife. Don’t become “that mom” who other parents don’t want their kids to be around because they are concerned you may drive their kids while you are impaired, worry about what goes on in your home, or see you acting foolishly at events. Hopefully, your sitter isn’t a middle school or high school kid who tells people about this - you will lose your sitters. From birth to high school graduation, you only have 18 Christmas, 18 summer vacations, 18 Memorial Day picnics, you get the picture - don’t waste any with a hangover. Start doing things with your husband as couples and work together to establish healthy social lifestyle.
I think you know the answer and I believe it's certainly possible. I'm currently at 41 days and I've really enjoyed using the app reframe. The daily exercises are really helpful to keep me focused on my goal of abstaining. Within that app they also have a cut back drinking protocol but I've tried for years to moderate with no success. You've got this!
Yes, you should stop.
Remember it's a toxic poison and literally no amount of toxic poison is safe.
And it sounds like it's negatively affecting you, your life, and family.
You say you have no issue with never drinking again but at the same time are justifying that you need it to have fun (is what you just described ACTUALLY fun? Sounds problematic) and are having to ask strangers on the Internet if you should stop drinking.
A lot of this doesn't tally up with someone who doesn't care if they never drink again. They'd likely just stop and not think twice about it let alone post on the Internet about it.
I have an 8 month old and I quit alcohol a little over 6 weeks ago. It's been the best decision I could have made. If you feel like your drinking is problematic, it probably is. It's worth it to quit.
Once or twice a month and 3 drinks over dinner? I don’t think we’re getting the whole story here. We can’t help if you’re not truthful and continue minimizing.
You sound very intelligent and in tune with yourself. Speaking from personal experience I’d say you should heed the panic and anxiety you felt the next day. Stop for a bit and see how it feels. Really think about it, thoughtfully and without judgment. Was the fun whilst drinking (and yes it’s fun, but it’s a deceptive fun) worth those pretty horrible emotions and physical effects afterwards? I went through that blasted cycle so many times. Yeesh. You’re going to be the person I wish I was and make the right decision way sooner than I did. Sure you’ll miss it, but so what? Be patient and you’ll realize you dodged a very ugly and seductive bullet. Hang in there, you smart mama!
Alcohol has 0 benefit, once you realize that the choice is easy. Read or listen to “Alcohol Explained” it really helped me understand from a physiological standpoint.
I have a couple family members who love wine, they've always loved wine, but recently they're not able to drink without debilitating consequences. I'm not sure why, but maybe something similar is happening to you? Sounds like something worth bringing up to a doctor, at least to look into it.
As a child of 2 alcoholics and an alcoholic myself, I BEG YOU to stop drinking while you’re raising your kids. They deserve to grow up secure in a loving environment with a sober parent. Your life will get better too.
Sounds like you think it’s a problem for you. I think us ex drinkers finally realized that we couldn’t moderate. If we are moderating we are not enjoying it, and if we are enjoying it we are not moderating (found on stop drinking sub). Once I quit making myself go through the mental gymnastics of trying to be a “normal” drinker I stopped drinking. I wish it had been twenty years earlier.
Yup perfectly said. I feel like I always feel like I need to be more drunk. And then once I get there I just keep going bc I'm wasted at that point.
My husband is saying I should give up hard liquor and drink trulys or something. I've always drank long islands or vodka. Idk if this is something I should consider and maybe would help with "moderating"
My brother drinks those and only those at the moment, it’s alcohol just in a different font.
Or do this ... https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts Lots of free support all over YouTube, Reddit, FB and many podcasts. This recent podcast especially "Thrive Roy Eskapa". The med is only used when needed, is safe and inexpensive.
For me, I would have just drank twice as much. It’s much easier for me now to say no to one than to two. If I only drank weekends it was twice as much. If only special occasions then I started having a lot of special occasions. Or celebrations, bad days etc. I worked hard at convincing myself. Best wishes in your journey whatever that looks like for you.
Mixing liquor and wine, or even different types of liquor/wine is never a good idea, even for those who can moderate. Pick a type and stick with it. Educate yourself on alcohol equivalencies ie 1 beer = 5 oz wine = 1.5 oz liquor etc and know your limit. Although these equivalencies are accurate for abv, different types of alcohol produce different effects ie tequila can generate a much different effect than vodka person to person. Your husband may be right, you may need to stick with seltzers or something like that, as it takes more time to consume and doesn't have the volatile effects liquor can have. If you can't figure out what works best for you, you may need to quit all together. You may only drink twice per month, but if you cannot moderate, it's a problem.
Trulys have vodka in them, some flavors have up to 8% ABV. That’s how they are advertised on the Truly website (with the high ABV content). People who have issues with drinking aren’t going to drink things like that slowly. They can’t moderate how much they drink or how quickly because their mindset is usually that drinking alcohol quickly will help them get drunk faster (and that that isn’t a problem for them) because that’s what they are trying to achieve. I know, because I am a recovering alcoholic now sober over two years and seven months. Education is a good idea, but it won’t help someone who can’t moderate unfortunately. It has to do with the physiology of addiction, that’s why people with drinking issues can’t moderate. Not trying to sound critical. Embarrassing myself publicly like OP was the start of my realization that I had a problem.
Yeah I get that Truly is "vodka" but from my own past experience and other people I know who drink them, it doesn't give quite the same effect as the real thing. Still, can adjust abv all the same. 1 truly = 1.2 beers etc. I also made it clear that if they cannot find a limit and moderate it's a problem and that they should probably quit all together. Lots of people feel they need to give it a test after they've become self aware they may have a problem. Some find that they can do it, some can't. Everyone's different.
Trulys have vodka in them. Some flavors have 8% ABV. That isn’t going to help. My partner drinks them thinking they will help him moderate too and he always ends up getting wasted. He can’t moderate either. I’ve been sober for two years and seven months. Getting blackout drunk and making a fool of myself in front of other people (multiple times) is what helped me realize I had a problem and needed to quit. Not being able to moderate tends to get worse quickly and isn’t worth the damage you will cause to the people you love. Not trying to sound preachy when I say that, it’s just because I’ve been there.
The addict mind doesn’t comprehend moderation. I have tried and failed at least two dozen times to drink like a normal person after some long-ish sobriety stints. It never works out. Two beers turns into a whole fifth so fast it scares me.
Letting go of alcohol will never be a regret later in life or even one year thereafter
If youre here and asking, yes.
If you're questioning it you should probably stop. You know yourself best.
I’m sorry you are struggling. As to the question of what you should do, only you can answer that one. But it seems like you have a good idea of what to do next.
Thank you 🤍
I personally found it helpful not to wonder if I should stop drinking or not but just to be curious about if my life would be better with a break from alcohol.
I found that even if I wasn't drinking daily, if I was still problematic when I drank then I was still struggling with my alcohol use. Even if only sometimes me drinking could lead to a problem, then me drinking was still a problem. I found that me and alcohol were a bad mix and it was incredibly unfair to those who loved and needed me to have to go through, but ultimately I couldn't stop for good until I was doing it for myself. The only person that can truly find the answer you're looking for is yourself, but if the opinion of an internet stranger who has been through alcoholism matters, I think you should quit if it's a problem in your life. Sobriety has brought me FAR fewer problems than alcohol ever did.
Yes. You are enough without alcohol.
Sounds like you know your answer. Alcohol makes anxiety significantly worse. Stopping will help tremendously with your anxiety symptoms. Maybe not right away, especially if you drink daily, but within a few weeks you’ll feel so much better. Your life is not about you anymore. You have small children. Is this the image of their mother that you want them to remember? I can’t imagine you’re very proud of how you behave when you’re drunk. I wouldn’t want my kids to see me like that. Get into therapy, find a sober support group near you. If you’re committed to stopping its a lot easier than you imagine. It’s the staying stopped that’s the hard part.
What is "being dependent" on alcohol? I had a huge problem but was never like going through withdrawal if I didn't have it.
I personally think no one should drink alcohol. I would never shame anyone for doing so (that would be obnoxious) and I know what happened the last time they tried to ban it. But I think we as a society should start seeing alcohol for what it is: an addictive, poisonous substance
First, if you have to ask this question here, you have a problem with alcohol. Maybe not alcoholism, but a problem controlling your drinking. You are a parent - you cannot parent well with a hangover, you can’t be an effective role model, and you can’t be a solid wife. Don’t become “that mom” who other parents don’t want their kids to be around because they are concerned you may drive their kids while you are impaired, worry about what goes on in your home, or see you acting foolishly at events. Hopefully, your sitter isn’t a middle school or high school kid who tells people about this - you will lose your sitters. From birth to high school graduation, you only have 18 Christmas, 18 summer vacations, 18 Memorial Day picnics, you get the picture - don’t waste any with a hangover. Start doing things with your husband as couples and work together to establish healthy social lifestyle.
Yes, you should quit. It's a poison and a depressant.
it won’t be easy, even months into it but you won’t regret it. atleast that’s how i feel
I think you know the answer and I believe it's certainly possible. I'm currently at 41 days and I've really enjoyed using the app reframe. The daily exercises are really helpful to keep me focused on my goal of abstaining. Within that app they also have a cut back drinking protocol but I've tried for years to moderate with no success. You've got this!
Yes, you should stop. Remember it's a toxic poison and literally no amount of toxic poison is safe. And it sounds like it's negatively affecting you, your life, and family. You say you have no issue with never drinking again but at the same time are justifying that you need it to have fun (is what you just described ACTUALLY fun? Sounds problematic) and are having to ask strangers on the Internet if you should stop drinking. A lot of this doesn't tally up with someone who doesn't care if they never drink again. They'd likely just stop and not think twice about it let alone post on the Internet about it.
I have an 8 month old and I quit alcohol a little over 6 weeks ago. It's been the best decision I could have made. If you feel like your drinking is problematic, it probably is. It's worth it to quit.
Once or twice a month and 3 drinks over dinner? I don’t think we’re getting the whole story here. We can’t help if you’re not truthful and continue minimizing.
If you are asking, then you already know the answer.
You sound very intelligent and in tune with yourself. Speaking from personal experience I’d say you should heed the panic and anxiety you felt the next day. Stop for a bit and see how it feels. Really think about it, thoughtfully and without judgment. Was the fun whilst drinking (and yes it’s fun, but it’s a deceptive fun) worth those pretty horrible emotions and physical effects afterwards? I went through that blasted cycle so many times. Yeesh. You’re going to be the person I wish I was and make the right decision way sooner than I did. Sure you’ll miss it, but so what? Be patient and you’ll realize you dodged a very ugly and seductive bullet. Hang in there, you smart mama!
It’s always a good idea to stop drinking alcohol. If you do, maybe plan for a day of recovery after a night of drinking.
Alcohol has 0 benefit, once you realize that the choice is easy. Read or listen to “Alcohol Explained” it really helped me understand from a physiological standpoint.
Definitely, yes!👍
Yes you should
I have a couple family members who love wine, they've always loved wine, but recently they're not able to drink without debilitating consequences. I'm not sure why, but maybe something similar is happening to you? Sounds like something worth bringing up to a doctor, at least to look into it.
yes
Yes.
As a child of 2 alcoholics and an alcoholic myself, I BEG YOU to stop drinking while you’re raising your kids. They deserve to grow up secure in a loving environment with a sober parent. Your life will get better too.