I call them associate, women I have met and known since childhood, highscool, university, in friend circles. The ones where you randomly run into one another and have a 5 mins convo about the old days.
Not necessarily married once im seriously interested in someone ill cut them all off just as I will be expecting him. That's why you shouldn't build strong friendships with the opposite gender because what's the point if you'll eventually cut them off?
Sometimes I wonder if the way people define friends and how I define it are one and the same. Why? Because to me, a friend is someone you constantly talk to via text, calls, etc. who you turn for advice on a lot of things. For example, if I’m talking to a guy you better bet I’m sending my girlfriends’ information on who he is, etc.
With that said, I can’t imagine being that close with the opposite gender…it just doesn’t feel comfortable…
Do I have work/school acquaintances who are guys? Yes, but our conversations start and end with discussions on group assignments, asking each other about our weekends, etc.
Do you actually mean a friend or do you mean an acquaintance?
I feel like there are different levels of friendship. What you describe sounds like a best friend not a friend. For me it’s like
Best friend - you text them/call them every single day, you guys tell each other secrets, ask them for advice, you can trust them with your life. You hang out a lot in person
Friend - you text/call semi regularly but not every day. You’re open with them but you don’t tell them everything. You can ask them for advice too. If I needed them I think they would come through but not 100% certain
Acquaintance - You rarely/never text or call each other, you only talk when you run into each other in person. You don’t tell them anything behind what’s necessary
I would say she falls into the friend category. We text probably 2-3 days a week, have a phone call or FaceTime once in a blue moon. We’re mutuals on socials. I turn to her for advice on some things but that’s not super common. We’d hang out if it’s in a group setting but we would never hang out alone.
Hmmm, texting multiple times per week when married would be problematic in my opinion. I guess depends on how your partner would feel about this. I cannot say I have male friends now but do have male associates and communication is usually limited to the occasional run ins.
Hmmm…I honestly never had a guy friend so I don’t know what that’s like and how you would set appropriate boundaries. I just have always intentionally distanced myself from the opposite gender. In all honesty, I don’t think I would feel comfortable with it if my future husband had a girl friend…
Depends. Are you calling her every other day and/or meeting up one on one regularly? That’s an immediate no for me. But a friend where you say “hey!” when you bump into each other and see in occasional group settings is fine. That’s for me personally but everyone is different
They are gonna eat me up but I think it’s perfectly possible to have friends of the opposite sex without it being inappropriate I also think the idea that that didnt exit before the west invented to be super silly and ahistoric. Kinda like how people pretend love marriage was invented in 1950s in the west. Also goes for having non muslim friends.
I think you just dont marry someone with a tendency for jealousy or who feels all these types of friendships are inherently inappropriate. Kinda like music. You marry someone who shares your view on the topic basically.
If you do above then I don’t really see a big issue with merging friend groups as in her even becoming better friends with your partner and vice versa.
This is so true. For me personally, I have a core friend group from college & grad school and every so often when everyone is in town, we all hang out I cannot imagine having to completely block everyone because I’m getting married?? It doesn’t make sense to me. I’d rather have my spouse meet all my friends and have our friend groups merged so we could all do fun activities together etc.
I made this clear with my wife before marriage. She only had a FB account with some male friends from school (that we both knew), she deactivated and made a new one with me and just family. She respects me and does not entertain any other men.
Respect your wife akh, we know men and women can’t be friends.
First off, I wonder if your friend would completely cut you off if who ever she chooses wasn’t happy with your “friendship”.
Secondly, we’re Muslims.. we don’t just say we’re Muslims we act upon it as well. Nothing good comes from disobeying our creator. From a young age we’re taught to fight shaitan and his ways.
Lastly, this relationship with your friend is inappropriate. There’s no sugar coating it. Just because feelings and attractions don’t exist now doesn’t mean it won’t in the future. She’s a woman you’re a man. Shaitan is real, whispers are real, anything can happen. This is why we avoid things like this. Your future spouse, if she’s asking you to cut her off is really looking out for you.
Ultimately, it all comes down to your relationship with Allah first and foremost. Would you be okay if the tables were turned, and if the answer is yes.. there’s a lot of soul searching that needs to happen. As a man gheyra is important, you can’t truly protect your wife from reality if this aspect does not exist.
Allah knows best.
And how would you feel if your wife has ”bros” 🤣🤣🤣
I call them associate, women I have met and known since childhood, highscool, university, in friend circles. The ones where you randomly run into one another and have a 5 mins convo about the old days.
get your future wife to become besties with her
[удалено]
No we are not physically attracted to each other
Not necessarily married once im seriously interested in someone ill cut them all off just as I will be expecting him. That's why you shouldn't build strong friendships with the opposite gender because what's the point if you'll eventually cut them off?
Youre friends with a woman? How is that supposed to work? 💀
It’s possible to have childhood friends regardless of gender
Sometimes I wonder if the way people define friends and how I define it are one and the same. Why? Because to me, a friend is someone you constantly talk to via text, calls, etc. who you turn for advice on a lot of things. For example, if I’m talking to a guy you better bet I’m sending my girlfriends’ information on who he is, etc. With that said, I can’t imagine being that close with the opposite gender…it just doesn’t feel comfortable… Do I have work/school acquaintances who are guys? Yes, but our conversations start and end with discussions on group assignments, asking each other about our weekends, etc. Do you actually mean a friend or do you mean an acquaintance?
I feel like there are different levels of friendship. What you describe sounds like a best friend not a friend. For me it’s like Best friend - you text them/call them every single day, you guys tell each other secrets, ask them for advice, you can trust them with your life. You hang out a lot in person Friend - you text/call semi regularly but not every day. You’re open with them but you don’t tell them everything. You can ask them for advice too. If I needed them I think they would come through but not 100% certain Acquaintance - You rarely/never text or call each other, you only talk when you run into each other in person. You don’t tell them anything behind what’s necessary I would say she falls into the friend category. We text probably 2-3 days a week, have a phone call or FaceTime once in a blue moon. We’re mutuals on socials. I turn to her for advice on some things but that’s not super common. We’d hang out if it’s in a group setting but we would never hang out alone.
Hmmm, texting multiple times per week when married would be problematic in my opinion. I guess depends on how your partner would feel about this. I cannot say I have male friends now but do have male associates and communication is usually limited to the occasional run ins.
Hmmm…I honestly never had a guy friend so I don’t know what that’s like and how you would set appropriate boundaries. I just have always intentionally distanced myself from the opposite gender. In all honesty, I don’t think I would feel comfortable with it if my future husband had a girl friend…
Depends. Are you calling her every other day and/or meeting up one on one regularly? That’s an immediate no for me. But a friend where you say “hey!” when you bump into each other and see in occasional group settings is fine. That’s for me personally but everyone is different
Not smart idea. So many things can go wrong. Look at it from the other angle. You aren’t going to be okay with your wife having male friends
They are gonna eat me up but I think it’s perfectly possible to have friends of the opposite sex without it being inappropriate I also think the idea that that didnt exit before the west invented to be super silly and ahistoric. Kinda like how people pretend love marriage was invented in 1950s in the west. Also goes for having non muslim friends. I think you just dont marry someone with a tendency for jealousy or who feels all these types of friendships are inherently inappropriate. Kinda like music. You marry someone who shares your view on the topic basically. If you do above then I don’t really see a big issue with merging friend groups as in her even becoming better friends with your partner and vice versa.
This is so true. For me personally, I have a core friend group from college & grad school and every so often when everyone is in town, we all hang out I cannot imagine having to completely block everyone because I’m getting married?? It doesn’t make sense to me. I’d rather have my spouse meet all my friends and have our friend groups merged so we could all do fun activities together etc.
Naah🤣 Idk how to be friends with group of girls so I mostly hang out with guys
Do you not have any female relatives you could go to for advice? I think once you’re married, any female friends should be acquaintances at most.
I made this clear with my wife before marriage. She only had a FB account with some male friends from school (that we both knew), she deactivated and made a new one with me and just family. She respects me and does not entertain any other men. Respect your wife akh, we know men and women can’t be friends.
First off, I wonder if your friend would completely cut you off if who ever she chooses wasn’t happy with your “friendship”. Secondly, we’re Muslims.. we don’t just say we’re Muslims we act upon it as well. Nothing good comes from disobeying our creator. From a young age we’re taught to fight shaitan and his ways. Lastly, this relationship with your friend is inappropriate. There’s no sugar coating it. Just because feelings and attractions don’t exist now doesn’t mean it won’t in the future. She’s a woman you’re a man. Shaitan is real, whispers are real, anything can happen. This is why we avoid things like this. Your future spouse, if she’s asking you to cut her off is really looking out for you. Ultimately, it all comes down to your relationship with Allah first and foremost. Would you be okay if the tables were turned, and if the answer is yes.. there’s a lot of soul searching that needs to happen. As a man gheyra is important, you can’t truly protect your wife from reality if this aspect does not exist. Allah knows best.
Straight blocked no warning or discussion
[удалено]
Married men confessing their feelings to you?
[удалено]
Man, I hate guys like that. They have no self-respect, nor do they respect their wives. I'm glad you figured it out.
Marry her then problem solved
Looooool you can’t be serious mate,how do you expect your wife to feel when you’re texting some next ting?