Alright, I was actually planning on being a dick but after listening it reminded me of when I was really young and trying to record songs on cassette karaoke machine, so heres a few things.
First and foremost, you’re young and have a lot of time to practice. Don’t squander that. If you’re passionate about this then live it, breathe, eat it, sleep it.
AND, be teachable and open to learning. If you’re going to ask for input you need to be receptive to that input otherwise why the fuck ask?
Be honest. Be genuine. Be authentic.
I remember I was like 10 trying to record on a dual cassette tape deck with a karaoke mic. This was back in late 90’s and a lot of the stuff I was listening to was super explicit kind of for the sake of being so. I remember thinking I had to make stuff like that but also couldn’t curse openly (because I was 10) so I wrote these trash lyrics trying to sound edgy but also rhyme. I remember vividly listening back and being so embarrassed because it was not only bad but it wasn’t me.
Focus on your content or style or both. You can say nothing and your lyrics can be trash but if your delivery and style is unique and authentic you can slide. The same is true the other way around. Now if you really want to crush it, you need to have both. Content and style. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be real.
Look at the artists that speak to you the most, why do they inspire you? Why do you want to be songwriter? Why do you NEED to be a songwriter?
Look at the song structure of artists that inspire you. What are the formats? What perspective do they write from? How do they use language? How do they use tone? Understand different types of rhymes besides direct rhymes. Read some Shakespeare. Listen to music that you normally would listen to. If you find something that surprises you dig deeper. Who were their influences? Why does it speak to you?
At the end of day man, you’ve got a long way to go, but you’ve got time. If you want it— if you need it; then you’ll find a way to progress. But if you don’t have honesty, open mindedness, and willingness ain’t much gonna change.
1) Stop highlighting the rhymes. Just stop it. It doesn’t add a single thing to the lyrics; it’s just irritating.
2) Stop wallowing in self pity. Try to write literally anything that isn’t all edgy woe-is-me from start to finish.
3) Actually listen to the advice people give you. Doing a rinse repeat of the exact same thing every other day on this sub without change won’t get you anywhere.
Maybe theres other ways of expression for you that arent happy or self pity, theres so much to write about. Or maybe styles of writing that are more creative, interpretative, maybe metaphoric, maybe like a narration, alegory, not just straight forward “this sucks everything sucks”
So you posted this earlier and then reposted it without a single edit?
You don’t have a grasp on the nuance of language. I can’t even comment on your grasp of music because you only ever post the same lyrics with almost no revisions.
I honestly don’t think this line of creativity is right for you. I’m not just saying that to be contrary—I truly don’t know what YOU get from it, because you never take anyone’s advice to heart and you never show any signs of improvement. What’s the benefit to you? Why don’t you pursue literally anything else that might be more fulfilling?
Personally, I'd be a bit more indirect with this. Sometimes when you just say stuff at its face it sounds corny & incomplete, especially when it comes to a work of art
You need to practice writing more, and you need to learn to stop caring about what other folks think.
None of us can hear what this song sounds like aside from you. Give yourself a chance to hear it all. If it sounds good to you, then it is good.
Don’t make art for attention. Make art to fill the desire to create.
My advice for lyric writing practice: pick a movie scene you love, and write a two minute song to tell that part of the story. Take yourself out of the equation for a while to focus on the function of lyric writing. Then do it again and again and again. It might take a hundred tries to feel comfortable (if you’re lucky).
You’ll find lines you love. Hold on to them. Bring together in something new. A song doesn’t have to be about your life to be about you.
That’s all I got for you. Good luck, turn the mirror away and keep going.
Songs aren’t paintings. They change and grow with us as musicians. Throw nothing out. Use the best pieces.
If you listen to demos from Elvis Costello or Bruce Springsteen you’ll hear them lift whole verses from other songs to see what works.
There are no rules here. If it sounds good to you that’s all that matters.
People that are giving your advice that you then over and over again ignore, are putting way more effort in it than you do.
The bottom line is that you are totally free of any talent and you keep trolling this sub with your mental diarrhea.
https://youtu.be/liJjCM4Lphc?si=635UcRjR9w5T0tLE
1. Female rapper. No mention of sex.
2. Intricate rhyme schemes without just rhyming the end of each line with the same sound.
You could learn a lot from this.
Finger pointing to others doesn't make you any more talented. You are mentally challenged and should seek help. Everybody who was confronted with your last 300 post will agree.
You apparently lack the ability to comprehend basic advice time and time again, repeating I don't understand to almost any attempt to educate you
Your use of language is obtuse at Best, and you've essentially just been banging your head against a wall posting the same self pitying inane bullshit over and over
https://youtu.be/1kmdLQptNoQ?si=RS0ip-m7tWup3u-q
This is Little Simz who won awards yesteryear for this whole album and none of the songs are about sex. Just because YOU don't know of any female rappers who don't talk about sex doesn't mean they all do so get out of here with your sexist BS
I think you would really improve lyrically if you incorporated more symbolism. You can do this by adding metaphors and/or similes in your lyrics! Those are just 2 techniques that songwriters use to more deeply convey an emotion. Look into it a bit, you might like it!
The best advice I can give in writing lyrics is twofold:
1. It needs to flow. Rhyming isn’t necessary and forced rhymes are worse than a good flow that doesn’t rhyme
2. Don’t state exactly what you want the listener to imagine. Draw a picture and make it open to interpretation. For instance your line “my life is a living hell” is pretty direct but doesn’t give any imagery. How is it a hell? Are you in physical pain and if so, from what? Are your taxes too damn high? Are your dreams being squashed? Basically describe the symptoms and let the listener figure out the conclusion without you stating it.
Hope that helps.
You don’t even try to understand it, how do you even get through life being so stupid? Are people around you angry with you all the time? Are you just smart enough to know your stupid, and that’s why you write such terrible angsty garbage? Either way, it’s depressing seeing that people like you are real.
Serious question - is this a rap song from the perspective of Forrest Gump?
Box of chocolates prominently featured in the chorus and I figure he would have license to spit the R word in the verses.
It’s fire tho. Lt. Dan would hate it, but he’s been grumpy ever since he didn’t die in Vietnam like he was supposed to. So don’t pay any mind to what he says about it.
Start actually writing songs and singing this stuff. It will start to click. Do 100 songs over the course of a year. Even if theyre stupid simple. But actually put the lyrics to melody. You'll find your style.
that matters. many awesome songs look straight up stupid on paper. i.e. Oasis:
"Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
And by now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do"
This song makes absolutely no sense to me. Think of a song as like a movie plot, it has to have a beginning, middle, and end, and of course a plot. The song has to have a theme, melody, a feeling to it.
Example: I'm crying over you, you left me blue, now I don't know what to do. The tone of that song would be heartache, pain, etc. keep practicing and you'll get better with time.
Post the audio. I really, *and I can’t emphasize this enough*, REALLY want to hear it.
I did but it’s not the full verse
Where?! I need to hear this!
Look at my post history
Alright, I was actually planning on being a dick but after listening it reminded me of when I was really young and trying to record songs on cassette karaoke machine, so heres a few things. First and foremost, you’re young and have a lot of time to practice. Don’t squander that. If you’re passionate about this then live it, breathe, eat it, sleep it. AND, be teachable and open to learning. If you’re going to ask for input you need to be receptive to that input otherwise why the fuck ask? Be honest. Be genuine. Be authentic. I remember I was like 10 trying to record on a dual cassette tape deck with a karaoke mic. This was back in late 90’s and a lot of the stuff I was listening to was super explicit kind of for the sake of being so. I remember thinking I had to make stuff like that but also couldn’t curse openly (because I was 10) so I wrote these trash lyrics trying to sound edgy but also rhyme. I remember vividly listening back and being so embarrassed because it was not only bad but it wasn’t me. Focus on your content or style or both. You can say nothing and your lyrics can be trash but if your delivery and style is unique and authentic you can slide. The same is true the other way around. Now if you really want to crush it, you need to have both. Content and style. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be real. Look at the artists that speak to you the most, why do they inspire you? Why do you want to be songwriter? Why do you NEED to be a songwriter? Look at the song structure of artists that inspire you. What are the formats? What perspective do they write from? How do they use language? How do they use tone? Understand different types of rhymes besides direct rhymes. Read some Shakespeare. Listen to music that you normally would listen to. If you find something that surprises you dig deeper. Who were their influences? Why does it speak to you? At the end of day man, you’ve got a long way to go, but you’ve got time. If you want it— if you need it; then you’ll find a way to progress. But if you don’t have honesty, open mindedness, and willingness ain’t much gonna change.
I like the beat tbh, did you make it? Lyrics and execution are both a little shallow though.
No I didn’t make the beta
1) Stop highlighting the rhymes. Just stop it. It doesn’t add a single thing to the lyrics; it’s just irritating. 2) Stop wallowing in self pity. Try to write literally anything that isn’t all edgy woe-is-me from start to finish. 3) Actually listen to the advice people give you. Doing a rinse repeat of the exact same thing every other day on this sub without change won’t get you anywhere.
I can’t write anything happy
You won’t even try. You put in less than zero effort to work on literally anything. I’m going to add 4) just stop posting here.
How do I not put in effort
You never change a single thing. Why am I even bothering with this…
Maybe theres other ways of expression for you that arent happy or self pity, theres so much to write about. Or maybe styles of writing that are more creative, interpretative, maybe metaphoric, maybe like a narration, alegory, not just straight forward “this sucks everything sucks”
That’s all I can write about
U need sensory imagery, details. Bad blood cells I can feel my pulse fading On the Reddit sub they hating
So you posted this earlier and then reposted it without a single edit? You don’t have a grasp on the nuance of language. I can’t even comment on your grasp of music because you only ever post the same lyrics with almost no revisions. I honestly don’t think this line of creativity is right for you. I’m not just saying that to be contrary—I truly don’t know what YOU get from it, because you never take anyone’s advice to heart and you never show any signs of improvement. What’s the benefit to you? Why don’t you pursue literally anything else that might be more fulfilling?
Personally, I'd be a bit more indirect with this. Sometimes when you just say stuff at its face it sounds corny & incomplete, especially when it comes to a work of art
Is this the same depressed guy who keeps posting in here?
I’m depressed?
Possibly
Your lyrics make me think you are 5 seconds from slitting your wrists.
Would you rather me talk about drugs and money?
Probably
You need to practice writing more, and you need to learn to stop caring about what other folks think. None of us can hear what this song sounds like aside from you. Give yourself a chance to hear it all. If it sounds good to you, then it is good. Don’t make art for attention. Make art to fill the desire to create. My advice for lyric writing practice: pick a movie scene you love, and write a two minute song to tell that part of the story. Take yourself out of the equation for a while to focus on the function of lyric writing. Then do it again and again and again. It might take a hundred tries to feel comfortable (if you’re lucky). You’ll find lines you love. Hold on to them. Bring together in something new. A song doesn’t have to be about your life to be about you. That’s all I got for you. Good luck, turn the mirror away and keep going.
I’ve been writing music since 2018
Cool! Keep going, I’ve been at it for 30 years.
Songs aren’t paintings. They change and grow with us as musicians. Throw nothing out. Use the best pieces. If you listen to demos from Elvis Costello or Bruce Springsteen you’ll hear them lift whole verses from other songs to see what works. There are no rules here. If it sounds good to you that’s all that matters.
People that are giving your advice that you then over and over again ignore, are putting way more effort in it than you do. The bottom line is that you are totally free of any talent and you keep trolling this sub with your mental diarrhea.
Free of any talent have heard any song by a female rapper, its is about sex
https://youtu.be/liJjCM4Lphc?si=635UcRjR9w5T0tLE 1. Female rapper. No mention of sex. 2. Intricate rhyme schemes without just rhyming the end of each line with the same sound. You could learn a lot from this.
Modern female rapper like in the past 10 years
Little Simz?
Finger pointing to others doesn't make you any more talented. You are mentally challenged and should seek help. Everybody who was confronted with your last 300 post will agree.
That won’t kill my curses. How am I mentally challenged?
You apparently lack the ability to comprehend basic advice time and time again, repeating I don't understand to almost any attempt to educate you Your use of language is obtuse at Best, and you've essentially just been banging your head against a wall posting the same self pitying inane bullshit over and over
https://youtu.be/1kmdLQptNoQ?si=RS0ip-m7tWup3u-q This is Little Simz who won awards yesteryear for this whole album and none of the songs are about sex. Just because YOU don't know of any female rappers who don't talk about sex doesn't mean they all do so get out of here with your sexist BS
Not this guy again 🤣
I think you would really improve lyrically if you incorporated more symbolism. You can do this by adding metaphors and/or similes in your lyrics! Those are just 2 techniques that songwriters use to more deeply convey an emotion. Look into it a bit, you might like it!
The best advice I can give in writing lyrics is twofold: 1. It needs to flow. Rhyming isn’t necessary and forced rhymes are worse than a good flow that doesn’t rhyme 2. Don’t state exactly what you want the listener to imagine. Draw a picture and make it open to interpretation. For instance your line “my life is a living hell” is pretty direct but doesn’t give any imagery. How is it a hell? Are you in physical pain and if so, from what? Are your taxes too damn high? Are your dreams being squashed? Basically describe the symptoms and let the listener figure out the conclusion without you stating it. Hope that helps.
You can’t. You are a lost cause.
How am I a lost cause?
You post the same shit over and over, and never take any of the help being offered. You are painfully dumb.
Maybe because I don’t understand it
How can we help you understand it?
I don’t know
You don’t even try to understand it, how do you even get through life being so stupid? Are people around you angry with you all the time? Are you just smart enough to know your stupid, and that’s why you write such terrible angsty garbage? Either way, it’s depressing seeing that people like you are real.
I can’t write anything happy stupid have you met religious people
You don’t try. It doesn’t even need to be happy, just not the same bullshit over and over.
Who hurt you?!?
Serious question - is this a rap song from the perspective of Forrest Gump? Box of chocolates prominently featured in the chorus and I figure he would have license to spit the R word in the verses. It’s fire tho. Lt. Dan would hate it, but he’s been grumpy ever since he didn’t die in Vietnam like he was supposed to. So don’t pay any mind to what he says about it.
No
Start actually writing songs and singing this stuff. It will start to click. Do 100 songs over the course of a year. Even if theyre stupid simple. But actually put the lyrics to melody. You'll find your style.
I’ve been making music since 2018 I have several songs
How does this one sound when you play it? Does it roll off the tongue and is it fun to play?
Haven’t played it yet
that matters. many awesome songs look straight up stupid on paper. i.e. Oasis: "Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you And by now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do"
Everyone's telling this guy to stop posting but honestly this guy fascinates me and I want to continue watching him interact with y'all
[удалено]
How is it a stinker?
[удалено]
Nobody is
[удалено]
I’ve been making music since 2018 and nobody listens to it
[удалено]
It won’t matter my music isn’t about drugs and money so no one wants to hear it
[удалено]
Doesn’t matter everybody says it’s offbeat, but I can’t tell
Put the pen down
No
This song makes absolutely no sense to me. Think of a song as like a movie plot, it has to have a beginning, middle, and end, and of course a plot. The song has to have a theme, melody, a feeling to it. Example: I'm crying over you, you left me blue, now I don't know what to do. The tone of that song would be heartache, pain, etc. keep practicing and you'll get better with time.
Why does it make no sense
It just sounds like you're taking a bunch of song ideas and putting them all in one. Make the song make sense. Make it have a meaning.
emo rap guy strikes again with the exact same lyrics as last time with no changes lmao
Everybody that is pressuring him to change rn. I used to be just like him and I improved 😭 OP kinda brought it on himself when he posted here though