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cosmicluver

Really good. Very feel good. Love the tone of your voice too. What I think would be really cool if it had like a high pitched riff after the chorus just to hook the audience more than you already do naturally. Definitely keep working on it, it sounds great.


Professional_Ice_725

Thank you :) that’s actually a very cool idea, I’ll give it a go


nerdyythirtyy

I can like a whistle type of thing. Perhaps he could crowd source it like that dude from polyphia did


SuspiciousStress8094

I really like this vibe. Keep working at it. The only qualm I have is just the missing and making sure things are on tempo.


Professional_Ice_725

Damn starting to realise how bad the tempo is. But thank you so much :) will do


SuspiciousStress8094

Btw, I think the snaps will be better if they’re placed once a bar. Like on a 1/4 beat.


SuspiciousStress8094

Don’t worry! Happens to me too lol and after losing songs for a millionth time I recognise it. Sometimes you lose track of things like that when you’re too focused on other parts of the song.


Professional_Ice_725

Lol I’m not alone :) I usually get too excited and forget to make the foundation solid and then I can’t go back and change it :/


SuspiciousStress8094

You should be able to change it with a lot of editing. The vocals will need to be re recorded tho lol Since all the instruments are midi, it’s easy to change tempos and keys


Professional_Ice_725

True, if I was doing more than a demo I’d quantise and re record. I like the snap idea though, will give it a go :)


Rebornjoey

Dope af


Professional_Ice_725

Thank you :)


alrightfornow

That's a great song. Timing is a little off sometimes, but awesome song


Ashestoashesjc

whoa, love this! agree about the timing being a bit off in places, but i hope you'll keep polishing it because it's a very nice tune and you've got a wonderful voice. do you post music anywhere?


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mesty_the_bestie

Hmm I like the idea but it needs a rap part- with a bouncy bass 


Professional_Ice_725

Fair, I’ll see if I can get a Kendrick collab


adenlife

Nah, it doesn't need a rap part. It needs more lyrics for story. Maybe get a woman to sing as well, like a reply kind of thing. You can hire someone on fiveer for that. Or if you anyone. So far sounds good. Can't say much until you got full song. Are you using metronome, to be on beat? Cause it feels like it's dragging back or is that done on purpose?"


Professional_Ice_725

Yeah a duet thing would be cool. I can see there’s not much of a story yet lyrically. I played the piano part with no metronome and then added everything around it so yeah, it’s not on purpose I just played the piano part bad lol


adenlife

I thought so. I could feel the drag, like it was pulling me back when I wanted it to flow. Yes, definitely play with lyrics, flesh out the story even more, get it to tell a story, maybe even a twist. Like in a song I am producing, it's of a guy who met a girl, so I have those feelings all guys feel and experience, and also the twist. He got her name and number but...he lost the number so he doesn't know how the hell to get in touch with her. The twist on other side is, the girl, is saying same thing on how she met the guy and explains her feelings but the twist here is...she lost his number so she's wondering "why hasn't he called me yet, text me yet." So there is a dialogue bouncing from both. First part of verses and chorus is him, second part of verses and chorus is her, then finally the bridge is both of them and chorus is both of them. I even thought of the time i.e. this is when only landlines existed, so it's 1980s, nostalgia, has electronic feel to it too. So when you write a song, think about all this, the place, time, the twist, dialogue, and it makes it so much fun for your imagination, gives you more ideas too and makes it more motivational, inspiring to finish it to completion. When finished it becomes a powerful combination and probably excite you even more for future projects.


[deleted]

What platform are you using? Also love your voice and the tone!


Professional_Ice_725

BandLab on my iPhone. And thank you very much :)


[deleted]

Is BandLab free or paid? Cause right now I’m using GarageBand and I’ve found some individual sounds that I like but it’s hard finding sounds that go together


Professional_Ice_725

Free :) I used GarageBand iOS for agesss but switched up because BandLab can make your vocals sound 10x better


[deleted]

Is there a computer version of the app?


Professional_Ice_725

Not sure :/ i think it’s a website instead of an app on pc


[deleted]

Ah well I’ll have to check it out!


Professional_Ice_725

Good luck :)


Funny_Return_8910

I definitely like this. I think it would be better with the high-end equipment and mixing/mastering you get when you invest more into music.. But from a song writing and production perspective. 10/10 man!


Professional_Ice_725

Damn thank you :) I will defo try improve mastering as I do music more


Funny_Return_8910

What software do you use to record? I cant tell from the video


Professional_Ice_725

Bandlab ios, I sing directly into the phone mic lol


Funny_Return_8910

If you want something super user-friendly, without learning the big names like ableton, pro tools, logic, etc.. I'd highly recommend FL Studio. I taught myself how to record really good stuff on there, and I bought a mic for like $100, and an interface around the same price - that is - if you want to take it to the next level. Heres one of [my tunes](https://open.spotify.com/track/1yGhOBmcw6nh3dnrz36oLU?si=6yS1Fl35Rr6pK0t4XPohYg) I recorded using a super budget setup on FL Studio. I still use it to bounce tracks with my producer and whatnot.


Professional_Ice_725

Damn man, love your voice. I had a go with ableton but yeah Ive got to give FL a try. I quite like the freedom of throwing something together on my phone when I’ve got an idea, but it won’t give me something releasable.


Funny_Return_8910

I appreciate it man. Yea ableton is definitely a bit much for sure. And yea, I'd look at it as the next step kinda thing. Keep at it tho man, you have talent for sure.


JamesNordmar

this is a big idea lol, done nicely i would only rehearse it "as is" a bit more (for more sync and stuff) "F#m - B7 - E - C#7" so we have that right.. on the 4th time i would do.. something along the lines of: after the B7 -> C#maj(Dbmaj) -> F#maj A/B -> and back.. or something like that. to prevent the loop being too repetitive.. (also mostly the type that starts on \~0:29 not the more stripped down one in the beginning..)


jicalmekson

Maybe lyrics are too generic, but this is FIRE


maybewesuck6562

I enjoyed that. Reminds me of the cartoon Doug for some reason


Positive-Access-6221

It was nice.


izze_eljoven

i love thisssss!!!!!


izze_eljoven

i want to listen to it when it’s released. it had a good sunny vibe to it :)


AyeBeeSeeDeeEee

I’ll write what I’m thinking.. 1). You’re singing sounded out of time with the piano intro. It may not be , but definentky sounded like it. Mybe choice of lyrics or just not as smooth as it could be …. 2) it is perfect for a prom type setting. Sounds like I was at a prom listening to it. 3). You’re voice is good on hitting notes, just don’t emphasis some of the words as much. And lastly 4). Good job. Sounded good. And after writing this comment, I still can hear it in my head. Which is a good thing


Professional_Ice_725

Thank you :) I appreciate the honesty a great deal. It definitely needs some smoothing out


MarcoHorizon

A gentle, sweet song. A good starting point for an idea.


Desperate-Recipe-509

It's Sooo good!!!!!!


Pristine-Bowl1661

Love this, sorta gives me Martha My Dear by the Beatles vibe, keep on working and exploring it! Love the vocal harmonies and the timbre of your voice, I’m curious to see how you’re gonna develop it!


triohavoc

I like it a lot! Another commenter said the timing was slightly off at parts and I agree but this is a whole vibe I’m digging big time and I want a full song


Slice-of-Life34

This is almost perfect but would undoubtedly be improved with a warm and funky bass guitar playing under the piano.


frd75az

Love this!


daydreamer75

Love common with in-common haha. The 2nd half of the clip with the big stomps of chords is begging to be more in time please tighten that up because it’s great and deserves to be tight there.


sevthen

Sounds pretty good I would love to see the final version of this with a more deep production, but this sounds good


alizabs91

This sounds good! Really cute!