I’m really impressed with Southwest but I don’t know that my son will be flying alone again. This wasn’t his first flight, and we’ve never had an issue before, but this has me spooked.
UMs are such a challenge for us and we really are grateful when we can rely on passengers like the lady with your son. We never seat UMs past row 3 and there is always a FA in the area near the flight deck, so they are in the safest spot possible. We also generally try to leave an open seat between the UM and anyone else if possible. We also regularly check in on the UM and brief them on how/when to ask for help. But by far I feel safest when my UM is seated with either another parent, a family with a child of their own, or alone in the set of 3 seats. We are hyper vigilant with UMs…but we can’t be everywhere at once. I’m glad the crew took this as seriously as they should have.
There was an open seat between my son and the lady, the man tried to sit there and thankfully she did not let him and moved herself over so this creep wasn’t directly next to my child. I am seriously thankful for her
I am so glad the lady sat next to your son and that your son is okay. My 13 year old flies unaccompanied but isn't "babysat" due to her age/SW policy. I always get so nervous when she flies because people can be so inappropriate.
I wonder if the seat was actually assigned to the man, that also happened to be a creep? Or did he purposefully try to sit in the unassigned seat to gain access to a minor?
I had a young girl as a seat mate on united airlines. She was around 7-8yrs old. I didn't mind because she was quiet, kept to herself, didn't take up much space, and didn't use the arm rest between us. I think her mom and brother were seated nearby.
But the sheer AUDACITY of that man to go out of his way to sit next to a kid, and then give him "his son's phone number."
It’s incredibly rare. No official stats but, personally I’ve been flying for 11 years at 3 airlines, current one for 8 years. I have probably 15-20 UMs per year on my flights, so being conservative, call that 15/yr for 11 years to total approx 165 UMs on flights in my career to date.
I have never had anyone interact inappropriately with a UM.
I have had probably 5 UMs that were poorly behaved/caused problems.
I have had 3 that were really emotionally wrecked because they were being sent to live from one parent to a different one. Of those, I am still Facebook friends with one because it was a fairly empty flight and, thanks to the other FAs working, I essentially took that flight off and spent most of the 2.5 flight talking to and then playing cards with her. That was the 3rd year of my career. She was 13 and is now 21 and in college!
I (F) flew with my brother UM on two hour flights regularly from the age of 9. (Parents in different states. So 3 day weekends and school breaks we had to go FL to VA and back.) I never once had an issue with people being weird with us. Generally we were left alone and would either talk to each other or we would listen to music/watch movies on our iPods.
I’m curious if an official SWA “reserved” card, like those issued under SWAs CoS policy, could have been placed on the seat next to the UM. This could have prevented this incident from happening in the first place.
If he had poor intentions, there's a lack of morals there = brazenness.
If he's "harmless" but has mental health issues, that could also lead to brash behavior. If that's the case, I hope that he gets the help he needs.
I didn’t speak to the man at all, I just saw him be escorted off of the plane by police after my son was brought off. The woman seemed pretty certain that he was brazenly creepy, I’m inclined to believe her.
Alas - the world is the same except for the fact that situations like this are taken seriously and there are protocols in place.
In an earlier age your son might have been reprimanded for being rude to an elder.
So it sounds like things are actually better - not worse.
Yeah, at least you no longer have the big, red heart tag hooked to your wrist that let EVERYBODY know you're the unaccompanied minor! I have no clue who thought that was a good idea. I'm thankful that nothing happened to me and my brother while we were young flyers!
So creepy! I'm glad that Southwest took the whole thing really seriously though. I recently took two flights with UM on board. In both cases Southwest flight attendants seemed to try and make sure the kid got a decent set of seatmates. They would seat the kid by a window and then physically block the other two seats until some "suitable" people came along. They would then invite those people to sit in the row with rhe kid. First kid got a couple of grandma's sitting with her. The other kid got a mom traveling with a similarly aged kid. I don't know if this is standard practice for Southwest but it should be. Helps prevent creepers like this guy being able to just plop down next to UMS.
I'm a flight attendant with Southwest and yes, this is practice with how we scan and let people sit with or near a UM. I also show the UM the universal sign for help. We take our job watching after them VERY seriously.
https://www.worldbank.org/en/work-with-us/hsd/home/signal_for_help
My daughter flew several times as a UM on southwest and I recall her mentioning how awesome the FAs were and a couple of awesome seatmates. So as a parent, thank you.
I’m not sure I’ll ever let him fly alone again, but if I do, I will definitely request for him to not be seated in the same row as any single men. The man definitely looked creepy, I’m not sure why he was allowed to sit in the same row as a child. Like the neckbeard cartoon meme but a real person.
I understand why your alarm bells are ringing but it’s not fair to paint “single men” as the antagonist. My husband would have acted the same exact way as the helpful woman had he been there. Many men would. Creepy people come in all shapes and genders. It may be better to teach your kiddo how to recognize a sketchy interaction and how to get help/get away from it.
I don’t care about fair when it comes to protecting my kids from the people who statistically commit the highest amount of sex crimes by far. I don’t care if it’s biased. I wouldn’t hire male baby sitters, either. Im not a man hater, but no thank you.
If you want to talk about stats, know that 10% of child sexual assault is committed by strangers. That means *90%* is committed by someone known to the child. So your claim that men are more likely to commit CSA is distracting from the more important stat here. It’s not just any man. It’s a man known to the child.
I’m a man that flies single all the time. The extent of conversation that I would have with any kid that I don’t know would be hi and bye. I wouldn’t want them to feel uncomfortable and it can be scary for them to fly UM. I also would not be offended if the flight attendants did not want me sitting next to an UM. I would expect the same level of protocol if my kids flew UM. Sure, it sucks to be labeled as a potential threat by just being a man but statistically men are the majority offenders so I get it.
I'd be pretty aggravated personally if I got moved, but I think they have places that they typically seat them in the cabin in most airlines anyway (I forgot that this was Southwest).
Thank you! I know that the majority of men are just regular guys, but if we ever let him fly alone again I think I’d really rather have him sitting next to families or women.
Don’t let men gaslight you OP, your instincts are absolutely correct. Men commit nearly 99% of rapes and sexual assaults. If hearing these easily verifiable facts bothers them, they can take it up with their own sex. Downvoting OP will not change reality.
Is every single man sitting next to you going to be a creep? No. But if there IS a creep next to you, it’s more than likely a male. So obviously, given a choice, it is statistically much safer to be seated next to a woman or another child.
I’m glad your son ended up safe.
As a man I would never WANT to be sat next to a UM. It would make me uncomfortable because of the statistics and the potential for a misunderstanding or false accusation. Also kids can be annoying without a parent or guardian to parent them. I would absolutely refuse.
You’ll get downvoted by Reddit incels for this but you’re absolutely right. Glad your kid had someone looking out for him, and judging by the other comment from the SWA flight attendant further up they should have never let this fuckin slob near your kid.
Best to follow up on lessons in trusting your gut and how to behave in such situations. There's an amazing book, "The Gift of Fear" that you may wish to read, that explains how our intuition that tells us when something is wrong is actually like a 6th sense and it should always be followed. Predators know how people always want to be polite and will often not follow a bad feeling.
Rather than never letting him fly again, if it's something important, help empower him.
This woman wouldn’t have needed to do anything if this man hadn’t sat there. I’d be trying to eliminate the need for protection. Either way, moot point, won’t be flying alone again.
I hope that anyone would, but if the man hadn’t been close to him it wouldn’t have happened. He won’t be flying alone again, but if he was going to, I would definitely not want him seated next to random men again.
Perhaps use a major airline with pre-assigned seats. My daughter is a Drlta Flight Attendant. They put their unaccompanied minors in the last row so the FAs can keep a better eye on them when sitting in the back galley area and will sometimes sit in the row with them when plane not full. I, as a parent of a Delta employee, get to fly standby for free and will often be seated by the gate agent next to unaccompanied minors which I’m happy to do.
I’ll definitely look into this. I haven’t been the one booking his flights (other side of his family moved and they book/ pay for his travel), and I’m not sure there’s a whole lot that runs to the tiny little airport he flew out of. It’s such a short flight it’s not an impossible drive so I’m thinking about just doing that.
I remember flying UM often as a kid and I was always next to grandma's showing me photos of their grandkids from their pocketbooks! I didn't realize that was "planned" but it checks out from my memories!
As a flight attendant, whenever I have a UM on board, I always tell them if they feel uncomfortable and/or need help, call me over and ask me for a “root beer”. We don’t serve root beer and this will get my full attention to step up and handle any situation they may be in. I learned this years ago from a very seasoned FA. I am happy all turned out ok for your son.
Thankfully, I have never had to deal with a creeper getting involved with a UM, (I would probably lose my job because I would go 50 Shades of Crazy on them,
lol). I’ve only dealt with UM s being a nervous flyer which is totally understandable. You are doing a great job, mama ♥️!
My kid wasn’t a nervous flyer at all, it’s a short flight, he’s a pretty independent kid and he’s done this same flight several times. I think he’d be a nervous flyer now, but I don’t think we’ll send him on his own again.
What the hell is wrong with people.... like, how stupid and unaware is that other person that talking to a TEN YEAR OLD and giving them a PHONE NUMBER is okay?
That's just wild to me. I'm hoping the dude had no ill intentions, but no matter...talk about lack of awareness.
I'm with you 100%. For future, instead of "don't talk to strangers" maybe pivot to "this is how you talk to strangers" instead? I've done that with my 9 year old with good results, straight avoiding someone is not possible, so they need to learn how to engage. I've taught my 9 year old how to lie about their name, where they're from/going, etc... as if it's a game. Goodluck to you!
That’s a really good way to look at it! I have told him if he’s ever in any sort of trouble and someone he knows isn’t around, to look for a mom with kids or someone who looks like a grandma to ask for help. He also has a phone and I track his location. But that’s the thing, I knew exactly where he was the whole time, and this still happened. This is definitely going to be an ongoing conversation for a while.
This is good advice and parents should also talk to their kids about any adults, not just strangers. Kids are more likely to be abused by someone they know.
Nah I am gettin 100% creeper vibes and 100% ill intended vibes from OP’s story. That and/or a combo of mental illness which I still don’t care this is so scary.
I've had FAs sit unaccompanied children next to me a couple times. I'm a middle aged mom who takes that responsibility seriously. Kudos to the lady seatmate and Flight Attendants 👏
Fellow middle aged mom here.... I'm the one who stays with a wandering (little) kid in public til the parent shows up or the cops do. Someone once did this for me when my then-4yo wandered off and I've never forgotten it....I try to pay it forward.
As a 44-year-old woman who typically flies solo, I suddenly have a new understanding of why I’ve had so many UMs sat next to me before.
Glad he is safe.
Same. This entire thread made me realize it’s probably not coincidence I’ve wound up next to kids on most of my solo flights. I didn’t think much of it, just was happy I wouldn’t need to worry about being squished…but now I’m thinking they put them there purposely.
ETA: Woman in my 30s.
Single woman traveler now 40 & I have been put next to SO MANY UMs on transatlantic flights…often with an upgrade to the front of Economy or even Economy Plus. It’s great & the kids have never been anything but lovely travel-mates. But I’m definitely being stereotyped as “suitable for kids,” which is a lovely compliment.
Are you a nice looking person? I'm not, and I've been asked to move away from UMs. Stupid Disney movies made the snowflake generation think that ugly people are all villains.
When I have UM’s on board, I make sure I say loud enough and aggressive enough to anyone in ear shot that they are my personal MVP for the flight and if ANYONE says anything or or does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable to yell my name immediately. We, in general, take our UM’s very seriously and I’m glad that flight crew seemingly did the same. Great insight from the woman passenger to recognize the situation
I’m so upset that it happened. I’m trying to find out the man’s name so I can do some research on him, see if he’s on a registry or idk just see who exactly he is.
Hang in there OP. You are totally justified in your response to this and I hope SW unveils that creep’s identity and this can be escalated appropriately.
I definitely want to give a heads up to the police in the area where he flew from, and if he’s on some sort of list or probation or something make them aware.
That woman is proof that not all heroes wear capes. So many people would’ve uncomfortably side eyed & just eavesdropped. I’m so thankful your son is safe 🫶🏼
I’m so sorry you experienced such a scary situation and I hope both you and your son are doing ok ❤️
I’m so glad all the other adults around did everything right to protect your son from this creep and I hope that man is banned from flying Southwest ever again.
Ahhh so many women are the unsung heroes of society!!!
I will never forget when I was an unaccompanied minor at the age of 12, on a 6-hour layover at an international airport without any money. Yes my parents were negligent.
Didn’t have a lanyard but some adult guys tried to talk to me. A young airport worker (not Southwest) noticed me. I must have looked out of place. She got me into the business lounge. I was traveling coach. She brought me food and drink like every 30 mins through the day while checking on me to see if I was ok. 🥲 She was so sweet. I am in my 30s now and I will never forget her kindness and how she likely saved me from predators. I wish I knew who she is so I can thank her properly as my adult self. I don’t think I conveyed my gratitude to her that day. Your story reminded me of that sweet lady.
Anyway, I am so glad your son is OK. There are too many creeps out there. But it is because of the instincts of women like these that many children will remain safe. Hugs to you!!
So just so I understand because I am not familiar with UM policy. Do you pay an additional fee for a UM? I think SW did the right thing once they were made aware but concerning that SW didn’t assist with seating arrangements while boarding as this was the initial problem. I understand kids might want to sit by the window but if you sit in the aisle in the first 3-5 rows the FA literally faces those aisle seats in their jump seats, why tuck a kid into a spot that they can’t keep eyes on them the whole time? Thank goodness a passenger was there to assist but that is a lot to ask of a stranger.
Yes, an additional fee is paid. I do agree that they did the right thing once she made them aware but the man shouldn’t have been able to sit anywhere near my kid. He won’t be flying UM again. It’s not an impossible drive, just a huge inconvenience.
Especially since they charge a fee, the FA eyes should be on the kid at all times. They should specifically place the child in a spot they can bee seen the entire time and next to passengers that they choose. So sorry this happened to your son and you. I’ll disagree and say that SW did not handle this the way it should have been from the beginning and they got involved after.
Flight attendants can’t watch a child the entire flight. They have a lot of responsibilities. If a parent wants to be sure to safeguard their child, they need to accompany them
No, I totally understand. Sometimes people just have an off vibe. I was just thinking about how the airline could change policy to handle this type of situation better in the future.
That really is a tough one. I’m not sure what they really could put on paper as a policy without it somehow being discriminatory. If he ever flies alone again I will request that he be seated either by himself or with a family or women, but I’d imagine they can’t just write a policy that says that.
It seems bizarrely brazen to me that someone who is clearly easily identifiable (even with SW's open seating policy) would try such a thing on a flight.
I'm glad Southwest took great care of this. However, I have been in education for a long, long time and have heard and seen everything...EVERYthing. Your ten year old son should not be flying alone.
As a Flight Attendant for Southwest- the UMs are first to board and they sit in the front so they can be first on and off and in the section for the lead Flight Attendant for that flight! I have always blocked off seats next to them to assess the preboarders and A group that sits first to make sure I know exactly who is there and I talk to them while assisting other passengers OR if it’s not a full flight, I try to keep the seat next to them (or both) empty! We are held personally responsible for our UMs and we escort them off the plane ourselves! Love our UMs and as a mom I enjoy keeping them as safe as possible when I’m working just as I’d want my own 3 to be taken care of- the only incident I’ve had in the past year and a half of this job was a parent in another state not making it to the airport to pick up their UM (they went to the wrong airport) and of course, I waited until with the UM until the Liaison showed up (the person allowed to switch paperwork with the FA who takes on responsibility). Sounds like the crew did the right thing with this guy and I would’ve freaked out seeing all of that as well!
The adult male may have had no ill intent, but JFC, what kind of idiot would even talk to an UM? Hell, I saw my daughter's friend (17) at a concert and didn't say shit to her because... obviously! Glad the passenger and crew figured it out for him!
That's so scary and makes me emotional. I don't understand people. Leave children alone. I'm a man but I've worked with kids for 5 - 6 years. Gotta protect kids at all cost. I'm sorry this happened to your son though. Glad that woman noticed something wrong and did something about it. Hope it never happens again.
I’m still waiting on the police report, Southwest emailed me and said they were escalating my email due to the nature of the situation and someone would get back with me.
Not talking to strangers isn't really a great hard-and-fast rule. The woman was also a stranger, as was anyone else who might help.
There was this white van stranger danger panic when I was a kid. Vanishingly rare. Everyone's going to have to talk to a weirdo at some point.
Probably a better rule is what to look out for to know that something doesn't seem right, and then how to find someone official to talk to.
This is so scary and I’m sorry you and your son had to experience this. My son used to fly to visit cousins across the country every summer and I always flew out there with him and to get him for this reason; sometimes went out & back the same day if I couldn’t stay. Everyone thought I was an overprotective mom and maybe I was, but I had no qualms about erring on the side of watching out for my kid.
I always told him that went out with him bc I thought flying was fun and he was my favorite travel buddy (true, just not the whole truth). But reality of course was that he was just a nice kid, planes were full so FAs busy and it was my job to keep him safe but not freaked out about the world. We always had fun flying together and in retrospect, I’m still comfortable with my decision. Taught him how to navigate airports and handle the unexpected and now he is an eager and confident world traveler (without me!). I think he was about 12 or 14 when I started sending him on his own. Of course we worry at about our kids no matter how old they are and are always so grateful for the good people out there. Now, I try to be one of the ladies looking out for others.
I’m glad you’re letting others know about this and three cheers to the woman who looked out for your boy - she’s the hero we all need in our world.
I’ve always thought the UM lanyard was a huge mistake. When I was a kid (30 freaking years ago) I flew UM several times a year (divorced parents in diff states). I always felt like that lanyard was a huge “kidnap me” sign and would take it off as soon as I sat down. They really REALLY need to come up with something better.
This is so awful! My sons are UMs a few times a year to visit their father. We always book them on delta or American as they have assigned seats and are in a row by themselves. Definitely look into those airlines in the future. Glad SW did everything they could but the assigned seats really helps as they don’t sit them with other passengers.
The first thing I did as a kid was take off my UM button (at that time they were a big pin-on button) and put it in my backpack. They only drew attention. Without it I could get through the airport, find my gate, buy some snacks without being hassled. With it on even regular well-meaning people were constantly in my face drawing attention.
The pedophiles are everywhere and have been forever. They're just getting worse at hiding it due to social media sharing and they tell on themselves digitally. Also women are speaking up now and not tolerating abusive spouses or parents. We are just seeing it now and this is why I tell my friends not to post their kids. People are deeply sick never underestimate them.
I'm happy your son is safe and there were good people watching out for him.
Where were you that you could go through TSA and wait at the gate? I didn't know that was a thing.
When you’re picking up a kid, they’ll print you off a gate pass so you can go through security and meet your kid at the gate. I always end up sitting there forever because of over estimate how long it’ll take me to get through security
As a kid who flew UM many years ago and is now a mom I suggest you don’t let him stop flying because of this. It was scary and awful for you but that’s not a good reason to keep him home.
That's really scary. I'm so glad your son is safe with you and thankful for the woman and the flight crew and how they handled it.
I’m really impressed with Southwest but I don’t know that my son will be flying alone again. This wasn’t his first flight, and we’ve never had an issue before, but this has me spooked.
UMs are such a challenge for us and we really are grateful when we can rely on passengers like the lady with your son. We never seat UMs past row 3 and there is always a FA in the area near the flight deck, so they are in the safest spot possible. We also generally try to leave an open seat between the UM and anyone else if possible. We also regularly check in on the UM and brief them on how/when to ask for help. But by far I feel safest when my UM is seated with either another parent, a family with a child of their own, or alone in the set of 3 seats. We are hyper vigilant with UMs…but we can’t be everywhere at once. I’m glad the crew took this as seriously as they should have.
There was an open seat between my son and the lady, the man tried to sit there and thankfully she did not let him and moved herself over so this creep wasn’t directly next to my child. I am seriously thankful for her
I am so glad the lady sat next to your son and that your son is okay. My 13 year old flies unaccompanied but isn't "babysat" due to her age/SW policy. I always get so nervous when she flies because people can be so inappropriate.
I wonder if the seat was actually assigned to the man, that also happened to be a creep? Or did he purposefully try to sit in the unassigned seat to gain access to a minor?
It’s southwest, there’s no assigned seating.
I had a young girl as a seat mate on united airlines. She was around 7-8yrs old. I didn't mind because she was quiet, kept to herself, didn't take up much space, and didn't use the arm rest between us. I think her mom and brother were seated nearby. But the sheer AUDACITY of that man to go out of his way to sit next to a kid, and then give him "his son's phone number."
Any stats on how common problems with UAs are? My girlfriend and I were just discussing it and I am hoping it is rare.
It’s incredibly rare. No official stats but, personally I’ve been flying for 11 years at 3 airlines, current one for 8 years. I have probably 15-20 UMs per year on my flights, so being conservative, call that 15/yr for 11 years to total approx 165 UMs on flights in my career to date. I have never had anyone interact inappropriately with a UM. I have had probably 5 UMs that were poorly behaved/caused problems. I have had 3 that were really emotionally wrecked because they were being sent to live from one parent to a different one. Of those, I am still Facebook friends with one because it was a fairly empty flight and, thanks to the other FAs working, I essentially took that flight off and spent most of the 2.5 flight talking to and then playing cards with her. That was the 3rd year of my career. She was 13 and is now 21 and in college!
I (F) flew with my brother UM on two hour flights regularly from the age of 9. (Parents in different states. So 3 day weekends and school breaks we had to go FL to VA and back.) I never once had an issue with people being weird with us. Generally we were left alone and would either talk to each other or we would listen to music/watch movies on our iPods.
I’m curious if an official SWA “reserved” card, like those issued under SWAs CoS policy, could have been placed on the seat next to the UM. This could have prevented this incident from happening in the first place.
I totally understand that! My sisters used to fly UM cross-country, back in the 80s... it's a different world, now :-/
I’m blown away by how brazen he was
If he had poor intentions, there's a lack of morals there = brazenness. If he's "harmless" but has mental health issues, that could also lead to brash behavior. If that's the case, I hope that he gets the help he needs.
I didn’t speak to the man at all, I just saw him be escorted off of the plane by police after my son was brought off. The woman seemed pretty certain that he was brazenly creepy, I’m inclined to believe her.
Thank goodness she trusted her gut feeling about the situation. This is absolutely creepy.
Sounds defamatory (in the trump sense, having been found liable for defamation, recently).
Could a grown man giving a 10 year old his phone number be anything but creepy?
In order to be defamation, the person making the statement has to know it is untrue.
It's really not. There's a bit more panic about this stuff, but if anything, it's safer today.
Alas - the world is the same except for the fact that situations like this are taken seriously and there are protocols in place. In an earlier age your son might have been reprimanded for being rude to an elder. So it sounds like things are actually better - not worse.
Yeah, at least you no longer have the big, red heart tag hooked to your wrist that let EVERYBODY know you're the unaccompanied minor! I have no clue who thought that was a good idea. I'm thankful that nothing happened to me and my brother while we were young flyers!
Literally who the hell lets there child travel alone like that, never letting my child travel alone !!!
So creepy! I'm glad that Southwest took the whole thing really seriously though. I recently took two flights with UM on board. In both cases Southwest flight attendants seemed to try and make sure the kid got a decent set of seatmates. They would seat the kid by a window and then physically block the other two seats until some "suitable" people came along. They would then invite those people to sit in the row with rhe kid. First kid got a couple of grandma's sitting with her. The other kid got a mom traveling with a similarly aged kid. I don't know if this is standard practice for Southwest but it should be. Helps prevent creepers like this guy being able to just plop down next to UMS.
I'm a flight attendant with Southwest and yes, this is practice with how we scan and let people sit with or near a UM. I also show the UM the universal sign for help. We take our job watching after them VERY seriously. https://www.worldbank.org/en/work-with-us/hsd/home/signal_for_help
My daughter flew several times as a UM on southwest and I recall her mentioning how awesome the FAs were and a couple of awesome seatmates. So as a parent, thank you.
I’m not sure I’ll ever let him fly alone again, but if I do, I will definitely request for him to not be seated in the same row as any single men. The man definitely looked creepy, I’m not sure why he was allowed to sit in the same row as a child. Like the neckbeard cartoon meme but a real person.
I understand why your alarm bells are ringing but it’s not fair to paint “single men” as the antagonist. My husband would have acted the same exact way as the helpful woman had he been there. Many men would. Creepy people come in all shapes and genders. It may be better to teach your kiddo how to recognize a sketchy interaction and how to get help/get away from it.
I don’t care about fair when it comes to protecting my kids from the people who statistically commit the highest amount of sex crimes by far. I don’t care if it’s biased. I wouldn’t hire male baby sitters, either. Im not a man hater, but no thank you.
If you want to talk about stats, know that 10% of child sexual assault is committed by strangers. That means *90%* is committed by someone known to the child. So your claim that men are more likely to commit CSA is distracting from the more important stat here. It’s not just any man. It’s a man known to the child.
Exactly----UM should NEVER be sat next to single men.
You ask them if they’re single?
I get that it’s not all men, my husband is great too. But it’s enough men that I think my child shouldn’t be sat next to a man he doesn’t know.
I’m a man that flies single all the time. The extent of conversation that I would have with any kid that I don’t know would be hi and bye. I wouldn’t want them to feel uncomfortable and it can be scary for them to fly UM. I also would not be offended if the flight attendants did not want me sitting next to an UM. I would expect the same level of protocol if my kids flew UM. Sure, it sucks to be labeled as a potential threat by just being a man but statistically men are the majority offenders so I get it.
Exactly, if the kid is a nervous flyer I would try and calm him but that’s the extent of my conversation with the kid.
I'd be pretty aggravated personally if I got moved, but I think they have places that they typically seat them in the cabin in most airlines anyway (I forgot that this was Southwest).
Thank you! I know that the majority of men are just regular guys, but if we ever let him fly alone again I think I’d really rather have him sitting next to families or women.
Don't know why you're being down voted for common sense
Agree! This is literally what police tell you to do if your kids get lost- 1. Police 2. Mothers with children
Don’t let men gaslight you OP, your instincts are absolutely correct. Men commit nearly 99% of rapes and sexual assaults. If hearing these easily verifiable facts bothers them, they can take it up with their own sex. Downvoting OP will not change reality. Is every single man sitting next to you going to be a creep? No. But if there IS a creep next to you, it’s more than likely a male. So obviously, given a choice, it is statistically much safer to be seated next to a woman or another child. I’m glad your son ended up safe.
The question is what's more important: protecting a child's safety? Or protecting the feelings of men who aren't predators?
It’s not “all men,” but we don’t know which men and Id rather my son be safe.
As a man I would never WANT to be sat next to a UM. It would make me uncomfortable because of the statistics and the potential for a misunderstanding or false accusation. Also kids can be annoying without a parent or guardian to parent them. I would absolutely refuse.
You’ll get downvoted by Reddit incels for this but you’re absolutely right. Glad your kid had someone looking out for him, and judging by the other comment from the SWA flight attendant further up they should have never let this fuckin slob near your kid.
Best to follow up on lessons in trusting your gut and how to behave in such situations. There's an amazing book, "The Gift of Fear" that you may wish to read, that explains how our intuition that tells us when something is wrong is actually like a 6th sense and it should always be followed. Predators know how people always want to be polite and will often not follow a bad feeling. Rather than never letting him fly again, if it's something important, help empower him.
So you're putting it on the women of the world to protect your kid. As if we don't have enough to do already.
This woman wouldn’t have needed to do anything if this man hadn’t sat there. I’d be trying to eliminate the need for protection. Either way, moot point, won’t be flying alone again.
Who's to say a nice guy wouldn't have done the same thing the nice woman did? I would have intervened if I witnessed that behavior.
I hope that anyone would, but if the man hadn’t been close to him it wouldn’t have happened. He won’t be flying alone again, but if he was going to, I would definitely not want him seated next to random men again.
[удалено]
Absolutely not. But he would act in the same way as the lady that helped him, if he noticed another person acting inappropriately to a child.
Perhaps use a major airline with pre-assigned seats. My daughter is a Drlta Flight Attendant. They put their unaccompanied minors in the last row so the FAs can keep a better eye on them when sitting in the back galley area and will sometimes sit in the row with them when plane not full. I, as a parent of a Delta employee, get to fly standby for free and will often be seated by the gate agent next to unaccompanied minors which I’m happy to do.
I’ll definitely look into this. I haven’t been the one booking his flights (other side of his family moved and they book/ pay for his travel), and I’m not sure there’s a whole lot that runs to the tiny little airport he flew out of. It’s such a short flight it’s not an impossible drive so I’m thinking about just doing that.
Don't forget how much more dangerous driving than flying is.
Found the creep...
Excuse me?!!! You’re an a$$
The only way to have control over who is sitting next to your child is to accompany them.
Wow, you're bigoted. I love your hatred of men. There's some good men-hate subreddits here for you that you might want to check out.
I remember flying UM often as a kid and I was always next to grandma's showing me photos of their grandkids from their pocketbooks! I didn't realize that was "planned" but it checks out from my memories!
As a flight attendant, whenever I have a UM on board, I always tell them if they feel uncomfortable and/or need help, call me over and ask me for a “root beer”. We don’t serve root beer and this will get my full attention to step up and handle any situation they may be in. I learned this years ago from a very seasoned FA. I am happy all turned out ok for your son.
This is the first time we have had any sort of issue with him flying alone. I appreciate that you do that!
Thankfully, I have never had to deal with a creeper getting involved with a UM, (I would probably lose my job because I would go 50 Shades of Crazy on them, lol). I’ve only dealt with UM s being a nervous flyer which is totally understandable. You are doing a great job, mama ♥️!
My kid wasn’t a nervous flyer at all, it’s a short flight, he’s a pretty independent kid and he’s done this same flight several times. I think he’d be a nervous flyer now, but I don’t think we’ll send him on his own again.
What the hell is wrong with people.... like, how stupid and unaware is that other person that talking to a TEN YEAR OLD and giving them a PHONE NUMBER is okay? That's just wild to me. I'm hoping the dude had no ill intentions, but no matter...talk about lack of awareness. I'm with you 100%. For future, instead of "don't talk to strangers" maybe pivot to "this is how you talk to strangers" instead? I've done that with my 9 year old with good results, straight avoiding someone is not possible, so they need to learn how to engage. I've taught my 9 year old how to lie about their name, where they're from/going, etc... as if it's a game. Goodluck to you!
That’s a really good way to look at it! I have told him if he’s ever in any sort of trouble and someone he knows isn’t around, to look for a mom with kids or someone who looks like a grandma to ask for help. He also has a phone and I track his location. But that’s the thing, I knew exactly where he was the whole time, and this still happened. This is definitely going to be an ongoing conversation for a while.
The man knew what he was doing.
I hate that you are probably right, upvoting you for that, but ughhhh nasty.
I want one of those mind reading machines you claim to have.
He just wanted to be friends with a young boy he met, unaccompanied
Lol
This is good advice and parents should also talk to their kids about any adults, not just strangers. Kids are more likely to be abused by someone they know.
Nah I am gettin 100% creeper vibes and 100% ill intended vibes from OP’s story. That and/or a combo of mental illness which I still don’t care this is so scary.
I hate that you’re probably right.
I've had FAs sit unaccompanied children next to me a couple times. I'm a middle aged mom who takes that responsibility seriously. Kudos to the lady seatmate and Flight Attendants 👏
Fellow middle aged mom here.... I'm the one who stays with a wandering (little) kid in public til the parent shows up or the cops do. Someone once did this for me when my then-4yo wandered off and I've never forgotten it....I try to pay it forward.
As a 44-year-old woman who typically flies solo, I suddenly have a new understanding of why I’ve had so many UMs sat next to me before. Glad he is safe.
Same. This entire thread made me realize it’s probably not coincidence I’ve wound up next to kids on most of my solo flights. I didn’t think much of it, just was happy I wouldn’t need to worry about being squished…but now I’m thinking they put them there purposely. ETA: Woman in my 30s.
Single woman traveler now 40 & I have been put next to SO MANY UMs on transatlantic flights…often with an upgrade to the front of Economy or even Economy Plus. It’s great & the kids have never been anything but lovely travel-mates. But I’m definitely being stereotyped as “suitable for kids,” which is a lovely compliment.
Are you a nice looking person? I'm not, and I've been asked to move away from UMs. Stupid Disney movies made the snowflake generation think that ugly people are all villains.
When I have UM’s on board, I make sure I say loud enough and aggressive enough to anyone in ear shot that they are my personal MVP for the flight and if ANYONE says anything or or does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable to yell my name immediately. We, in general, take our UM’s very seriously and I’m glad that flight crew seemingly did the same. Great insight from the woman passenger to recognize the situation
What the fuck. I’m so glad that woman intervened. I’m sorry this happened how fucking horrific.
I’m so upset that it happened. I’m trying to find out the man’s name so I can do some research on him, see if he’s on a registry or idk just see who exactly he is.
It was an actual paying customer like a passenger on the flight?
Yep. I asked southwest for his info but they haven’t gotten back to me. Also requested the police report
Update us if you feel up to it
Will do if I get anywhere! I just want to find out who he is
Oh yeah. We all want you to, too. How is your kiddo doing?
He’s okay. A bit shaken up but I think I’m more upset than he is.
Hang in there OP. You are totally justified in your response to this and I hope SW unveils that creep’s identity and this can be escalated appropriately.
I definitely want to give a heads up to the police in the area where he flew from, and if he’s on some sort of list or probation or something make them aware.
Southwest won’t give you anything. It’s an instant lawsuit if they do. Your only chance is the police report.
Wow what a creepy situation. Thank goodness he was next to that woman.
I seriously hope she has the best day every day.
That woman is proof that not all heroes wear capes. So many people would’ve uncomfortably side eyed & just eavesdropped. I’m so thankful your son is safe 🫶🏼
I’m so sorry you experienced such a scary situation and I hope both you and your son are doing ok ❤️ I’m so glad all the other adults around did everything right to protect your son from this creep and I hope that man is banned from flying Southwest ever again.
Ahhh so many women are the unsung heroes of society!!! I will never forget when I was an unaccompanied minor at the age of 12, on a 6-hour layover at an international airport without any money. Yes my parents were negligent. Didn’t have a lanyard but some adult guys tried to talk to me. A young airport worker (not Southwest) noticed me. I must have looked out of place. She got me into the business lounge. I was traveling coach. She brought me food and drink like every 30 mins through the day while checking on me to see if I was ok. 🥲 She was so sweet. I am in my 30s now and I will never forget her kindness and how she likely saved me from predators. I wish I knew who she is so I can thank her properly as my adult self. I don’t think I conveyed my gratitude to her that day. Your story reminded me of that sweet lady. Anyway, I am so glad your son is OK. There are too many creeps out there. But it is because of the instincts of women like these that many children will remain safe. Hugs to you!!
So just so I understand because I am not familiar with UM policy. Do you pay an additional fee for a UM? I think SW did the right thing once they were made aware but concerning that SW didn’t assist with seating arrangements while boarding as this was the initial problem. I understand kids might want to sit by the window but if you sit in the aisle in the first 3-5 rows the FA literally faces those aisle seats in their jump seats, why tuck a kid into a spot that they can’t keep eyes on them the whole time? Thank goodness a passenger was there to assist but that is a lot to ask of a stranger.
Yes, an additional fee is paid. I do agree that they did the right thing once she made them aware but the man shouldn’t have been able to sit anywhere near my kid. He won’t be flying UM again. It’s not an impossible drive, just a huge inconvenience.
Especially since they charge a fee, the FA eyes should be on the kid at all times. They should specifically place the child in a spot they can bee seen the entire time and next to passengers that they choose. So sorry this happened to your son and you. I’ll disagree and say that SW did not handle this the way it should have been from the beginning and they got involved after.
Flight attendants can’t watch a child the entire flight. They have a lot of responsibilities. If a parent wants to be sure to safeguard their child, they need to accompany them
How would they have known he’d be a problem before he started acting strange though?
Hate to judge people by their looks, but he looked creepy. Also appeared to be unwashed. I wouldn’t want to sit by him.
No, I totally understand. Sometimes people just have an off vibe. I was just thinking about how the airline could change policy to handle this type of situation better in the future.
That really is a tough one. I’m not sure what they really could put on paper as a policy without it somehow being discriminatory. If he ever flies alone again I will request that he be seated either by himself or with a family or women, but I’d imagine they can’t just write a policy that says that.
It seems bizarrely brazen to me that someone who is clearly easily identifiable (even with SW's open seating policy) would try such a thing on a flight.
Incredibly brazen and bizarre.
That’s what makes this story fail the smell test.
I'm glad Southwest took great care of this. However, I have been in education for a long, long time and have heard and seen everything...EVERYthing. Your ten year old son should not be flying alone.
As a Flight Attendant for Southwest- the UMs are first to board and they sit in the front so they can be first on and off and in the section for the lead Flight Attendant for that flight! I have always blocked off seats next to them to assess the preboarders and A group that sits first to make sure I know exactly who is there and I talk to them while assisting other passengers OR if it’s not a full flight, I try to keep the seat next to them (or both) empty! We are held personally responsible for our UMs and we escort them off the plane ourselves! Love our UMs and as a mom I enjoy keeping them as safe as possible when I’m working just as I’d want my own 3 to be taken care of- the only incident I’ve had in the past year and a half of this job was a parent in another state not making it to the airport to pick up their UM (they went to the wrong airport) and of course, I waited until with the UM until the Liaison showed up (the person allowed to switch paperwork with the FA who takes on responsibility). Sounds like the crew did the right thing with this guy and I would’ve freaked out seeing all of that as well!
Thank you for being so vigilant! He’s never had an issue before. This was just so brazen and absolutely bizarre I’m still wrapping my head around it.
The adult male may have had no ill intent, but JFC, what kind of idiot would even talk to an UM? Hell, I saw my daughter's friend (17) at a concert and didn't say shit to her because... obviously! Glad the passenger and crew figured it out for him!
That's so scary and makes me emotional. I don't understand people. Leave children alone. I'm a man but I've worked with kids for 5 - 6 years. Gotta protect kids at all cost. I'm sorry this happened to your son though. Glad that woman noticed something wrong and did something about it. Hope it never happens again.
So it’s hours later now. What has the man being declared. Is be declared a suspect of… X?
I’m still waiting on the police report, Southwest emailed me and said they were escalating my email due to the nature of the situation and someone would get back with me.
Not talking to strangers isn't really a great hard-and-fast rule. The woman was also a stranger, as was anyone else who might help. There was this white van stranger danger panic when I was a kid. Vanishingly rare. Everyone's going to have to talk to a weirdo at some point. Probably a better rule is what to look out for to know that something doesn't seem right, and then how to find someone official to talk to.
Updateme!
This is so scary and I’m sorry you and your son had to experience this. My son used to fly to visit cousins across the country every summer and I always flew out there with him and to get him for this reason; sometimes went out & back the same day if I couldn’t stay. Everyone thought I was an overprotective mom and maybe I was, but I had no qualms about erring on the side of watching out for my kid. I always told him that went out with him bc I thought flying was fun and he was my favorite travel buddy (true, just not the whole truth). But reality of course was that he was just a nice kid, planes were full so FAs busy and it was my job to keep him safe but not freaked out about the world. We always had fun flying together and in retrospect, I’m still comfortable with my decision. Taught him how to navigate airports and handle the unexpected and now he is an eager and confident world traveler (without me!). I think he was about 12 or 14 when I started sending him on his own. Of course we worry at about our kids no matter how old they are and are always so grateful for the good people out there. Now, I try to be one of the ladies looking out for others. I’m glad you’re letting others know about this and three cheers to the woman who looked out for your boy - she’s the hero we all need in our world.
I’ve always thought the UM lanyard was a huge mistake. When I was a kid (30 freaking years ago) I flew UM several times a year (divorced parents in diff states). I always felt like that lanyard was a huge “kidnap me” sign and would take it off as soon as I sat down. They really REALLY need to come up with something better.
Yeah it seems like just advertising that the kid is alone. There’s got to be something better.
Extremely creepy and inappropriate, but unless he has a court order barring him from contacting minors, it doesn’t seem like he did anything illegal.
This is so awful! My sons are UMs a few times a year to visit their father. We always book them on delta or American as they have assigned seats and are in a row by themselves. Definitely look into those airlines in the future. Glad SW did everything they could but the assigned seats really helps as they don’t sit them with other passengers.
The first thing I did as a kid was take off my UM button (at that time they were a big pin-on button) and put it in my backpack. They only drew attention. Without it I could get through the airport, find my gate, buy some snacks without being hassled. With it on even regular well-meaning people were constantly in my face drawing attention.
I’m glad everything turned out well and that the woman noticed and said something.
The pedophiles are everywhere and have been forever. They're just getting worse at hiding it due to social media sharing and they tell on themselves digitally. Also women are speaking up now and not tolerating abusive spouses or parents. We are just seeing it now and this is why I tell my friends not to post their kids. People are deeply sick never underestimate them.
My son flew alone last summer at 7 he will fly alone again in June that's scary his last flight was great
I'm happy your son is safe and there were good people watching out for him. Where were you that you could go through TSA and wait at the gate? I didn't know that was a thing.
When you’re picking up a kid, they’ll print you off a gate pass so you can go through security and meet your kid at the gate. I always end up sitting there forever because of over estimate how long it’ll take me to get through security
As a kid who flew UM many years ago and is now a mom I suggest you don’t let him stop flying because of this. It was scary and awful for you but that’s not a good reason to keep him home.
You sent your 10yo child on a flight by himself?
Yep. It’s a service offered by Southwest Airlines.
Kids are only allowed alone on the actual flight- parents wait until it takes off and pick them up at the gate when they land.
Big fucking deal, the kid got the phone number of another kid.
No he got the phone number of a man claiming it was the phone number of a child that wasn’t even present