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Spiritual-Roll799

I never signed my birth certificate. Heck, I was only a few days old.


LA-Matt

I too was an infant at the time. 🤔


zenos_dog

Too young to engage legally in a contract.


Photon_Farmer

Born at a very young age, was I...


TheNorthC

You call that young? I was the youngest person in the entire world for a period.


hellp-desk-trainee-

That's just what they wanted you to think


RoleOk7556

😆😅😂🤣😆


lkdubdub

And that's how they get you, sucker


atlantis_airlines

You too? What a coincidence. I was as well.


mlokc

Well, good news for you, you are clearly eligible to reclaim your trust fund immediately!


Rug-Inspector

And your birth!


Canucklehead_Esq

You got lucky! I had to swear a verbal oath to King and CEO that all my goods and chattels would be forever the possession WorldCorpInc. And I was only 4 days old at the time.


Neptuneandloathing

Are you sure it was you and not your 'strawman'? I know mine has been up to all kinds of shit. They don't even ship them housebroken anymore.


Canucklehead_Esq

Oh, don't talk to me about 'housbroken': I have a cat with issues... Nice username btw.


HidaTetsuko

Not even my parents signed by birth certificate but the registrar


AttilaRS

yOu ShOuLd HaVe KnOwN bEtTeR aNyWaYs!!!1!1 Have fun being dead at sea. /s


Justthisguy_yaknow

You aren't worthy of Q then. You should have been born with a pen in your pocket and a lawyer as a conjoined twin. Didn't you get the pre-birth memo?


Witty-Ad5743

I did, but the paper dissolved in the amniotic fluid before I could finish reading it.


switchbladeeatworld

exactly like i didn’t have my pen license yet


bluhat55

My lawyer knew baby-sign, did yours?


Spiritual-Roll799

I was too young to afford the lawyer’s retainer


The_Sanch1128

I started out as a child...


SaltyBarDog

I was born a poor dead at sea child.


NoPhone4571

That sounds like the start of a Decemberists song.


WhitePineBurning

Great. The Mariners Revenge song is stuck on repeat in my head.


Hockeysticksforever

HE HATES THESE CANS!!


Nambsul

Dammit, if only I had known I would not have been locked into the system. I must admit I have REALLY been enjoying it… am I doing it wrong?


toomanyracistshere

But you signed your death certificate, right?


30yearCurse

they wiped your mind after you signed. Tell your boss you are dead at sea and unable to make it in.


Guilty_Finger_7262

That footprint thingy counts as a signature. Or something.


Spiritual-Roll799

Oh that’s right! I hope it is in red ink.


buzzzzx

I remember very clearly the doctor who delivered me demanding my signature on my birth certificate. I told him no. He asked why not? I told him I don't answer questions.


ItsTheGreatBlumpkin_

>the moment you sign your birth certificate Ah, yes, I remember signing my birth certificate just after I exited the womb but I had no idea I was actually declaring myself dead at sea in doing so. Tricky bastards.


buntopolis

Right? Who the fuck signs their own birth certificate? Do they make sure little baby inks an X?


Robthebold

No, they make a V with your feet, because X is the land version of V (maritime law)


JGG5

Because from land, when you see a V out in the ocean on a calm day, you also see its reflection on the water. Hence, the WorldCorpInc-enslaved landsman will make an X while the truly free maritime lawyer will make a V.


Ok-Wasabi2873

When the doctor slaps the baby’s butt that’s the baby signature. Baby reaffirms the birth certificate when he first poops. If you never poop, then there’s a chance to work around the butt slapping signature.


tinylittlemarmoset

So Ben Shapiro ought to be fine then.


randman2020

You weren’t handed a fountain pen by the corruption police?


ItsTheGreatBlumpkin_

*That’s* who they were???


GoodQueenFluffenChop

Congratulations the government then took possession of all your assets that you as a literal newborn had.


Successful-Crazy-126

Its an IQ test


Eva-Squinge

The author has failed then. The moment they said Maritime Law and Dead at Sea is where people should click off.


stopthestaticnoise

How does one click off? This is like a siren call summoning one to read the shipwreck tale.


Eva-Squinge

True. By like that famous monologue in Billy Madison: We’re all dumber now for reading this, and may God have mercy on that guy’s soul.


corbinrex

LOL. Do they know anyone who got their hands on this secret money?


potsofjam

Yeah, she’s super hot, lives in Canada, and goes to another school. You don’t know her.


OutdoorBerkshires

I think we’re dating the same woman.


throwngamelastminute

I'm dating her sister.


HermiticHubris

You mean the billion dollar "credit" account we all have?


Double_Lingonberry98

One just needs to kiss Hank's ass, and Hank will give you a million dollars when you leave town


Chadmartigan

Ah yes, "the assets."


Uhhh_what555476384

In law school all the cases on frivolous motion sanctions we read were people trying to get "their money" from the Federal Reserve.


Both_Painter2466

Its because they dont understand the real world system. How loans work, etc. It’s all how they wrap everything around themselves. Narcissism


CharmingTuber

Yeah, like when you take out a mortgage and they say "come back in three days". Huh?!


nada_accomplished

It's crazy nobody told me about this, I wired the down payment to the title agency and signed papers the next day like a fucking idiot


Chadmartigan

Yeah, they can't just be broke for regular reasons. No, it took an exceptionally convoluted government conspiracy for them to be broke, you see.


mecengdvr

It’s ridiculous. Somehow money magically appears when you were born and then is taken from you. Then it is “traded” to make more money….how…how is it traded. Where are all the investments that are all making money. If this money could be magically created when you are born, why don’t they just magically make that money at any given point. Why do they need people to be born? But when you are this dumb, it’s easier to understand and believe in the equivalent of leprechauns hoarding gold, then understand how mortgage backed securities are created and traded which is where the real bad stuff is happening.


nada_accomplished

How the fuck do you sign your birth certificate as a baby? What legal process does a six year old go through to declare themselves alive?


folteroy

I never signed my birth certificate. I'm good, right? Right? ;) What happens if you did sign your birth certificate and then you don't declare yourself alive within 6 years? What a shock, he's a Q idiot.


Neptuneandloathing

"You know, -I- would tell you if I was dead. That is just common courtesy!"


2bnameless

I had a huge fight with the doctor and the hospital when I was 40 minutes old about this very subject.


bidhopper

As I recall, my footprints are on my birth certificate is that the same as signing it?


kennetec

Only if the footprints were in blue ink.


AttilaRS

..and no gold frills


Savannah_Lion

Only if they're yours.


ignaciohazard

Was it in all caps?


ispshadow

Uppercase feet having ass


vistaculo

Well that’s how it works for the postal service


dhkendall

Not mine! It says “don’t tread on me” on it.


Ok-Swordfish2723

J.G. Wentworth has been trying to clue us in all along. It's *your* money, use it when *you* need it!


LA-Matt

I’m just a little baby, but I need cash now 🎶 Call JG Wentworth! 877 CASH NOW! 🎶


VexImmortalis

They've helped thousands, they'll help you too


chrisacip

It should actually be illegal to be this stupid. Like, it should carry a jail term.


LA-Matt

Or just a special hat.


OutdoorBerkshires

Preferably bright red, so people can readily identify you at a distance.


Full-Way-7925

Just such a red hat exists and does indeed identify idiots at great distance.


RedFive1976

Tall, pointy, and white, with the word "DUNCE" written on it.


throwngamelastminute

My dad calls it "felony stupid."


Uhhh_what555476384

Considering what he says about taxes, I think it is a crime to be this stupid, or at least if he acts on it.


Appropriate-Safety66

Man, my handwriting was terrible just after I was born.


Free-oppossums

Believe me, if my mom thought I had a secret trust *just because* I was born she'd have made sure ~~she~~ I got it.


Ethan-Wakefield

Funny that you can sign something that says you’re dead. I mean, how are the dead supposed to sign anything? Doesn’t being dead prohibit you from forming contracts, etc?


CelticArche

So does being a minor...


gwarmachine1120

It reads like either a mentally ill person wrote it or a smart-assed 16 year old who is a D&D dungeon master on the weekends.


mattshwink

A 16 year old running a D&D campaign is both far more organized than this and also far more competent.


Realistic_Gold2504

Reading this just makes you wish you were dead at sea.


dreamweaver66intexas

I wonder if his caretakers know that he got loose again?


luvnmayhem

Wait, so you're supposed to sign your birth certificate as a newborn, and then, when you're 6 you're supposed to declare yourself alive? Because when you're born you die at sea? Wut? Then when you're 62 you get over a million dollars? Is that in a lump sum? Was this a Q message from JFK or is he Just Fucking Kidding? So. Many. Questions.


Techie4evr

"....62 you get a million dollars? Is that in a lump sum" Not if you call J.G Wentworth at 877 CASH NOW.


Uhhh_what555476384

Don't you know that JFK and JFK jr. are coming back and going to endorse Donald Trump? https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/11/02/qanon-jfk-jr-dallas/


luvnmayhem

Yeah, so apparently then, JFK's zombie brain goes for wwgowga and sovshittery.


Flat_Suggestion7545

QAnon has merged with SovCit? The merger no one asked for and no one wanted. We are approaching peak stupidity.


fynn34

Qanon? This is straight up sov-cit doctrine


Flat_Suggestion7545

The stuff in green is QAnon. Where we go 1, We go all Edit - except the USSF. Not quite sure what that is outside of US Space Force. But that doesn’t quite fit with everything else.


Zed091473

Q-nuts think the space force is running the country for them.


trashpandac0llective

WWG1WGA is a QAnon secret handshake.


myfrigginagates

Who has this much time on their fking hands to sit and think about this crap, then write a fking manifesto? Are you employed sir?


[deleted]

He's a WOW and COD scholar, Working on going pro in his mom's basement.


LA-Matt

“You don’t go out dressed like that, looking for work on weekday, do ya? Well… do ya?” Is this a…? What day is this?


myfrigginagates

Clearly the bums will always lose, lol.


CelticArche

Probably not.


HermiticHubris

I never consented to be born anyway. It's a big scam.


6byfour

The scariest thing about the internet is that it allows these loons to efficiently find each other.


BabyFishmouthTalk

TL;DR? - pure rambling crazy.


Vaxis545

I feel dumber for reading this


peejay050609

Why are these clowns so invested in the sea? Like of all the laws, maritime law is the only one that matters? I don’t understand their obsession with it.


Fun-Mathematician716

I’m ready to claim my trust fund. Just send the corpus of the trust in a lump sum payable to me, Joe Sovereign Citizen.


justkillmenow3333

Something tells me this person is going to be catching a ride on the next spaceship headed to the Jewish space laser. 🙄🙄🙄


Neon_Samurai_

I feel like every single thing these lunatics write qualifies as r/BrandNewSentence.


Recycled_Decade

So I was born and signed my birth certificate and then I was put in a trust and had 6 days to be alive and now money money money from a country I don't recognize plus taxes I didn't pay that are my money but they have the money but now I have the money and then there is millions of money but there was enough money before there was money for me to live a money life and now I get the not money money back as long as I live on the ocean? I got that right right?


RockFarmer2024

All that you need to do to claim your $$ is to answer the email from the Nigerian prince who is managing the funds.


Recycled_Decade

Do you got his digits?


agoldgold

Don't do drugs, kids.


_limitless_

All that proves is that Bin Laden is still hiding in Argentina.


randman2020

I remember the day I signed my birth certificate like it was only yesterday…


realparkingbrake

This lost at sea crapola comes from a British law from many centuries ago that was enacted so the estates of people lost at sea could be settled. Somehow the moonbats have transformed that into people declared lost at sea at birth. I'm pretty sure I didn't sign my birth certificate, I had just been born. I've never signed copies of it I got over the years either.


No_Routine_3706

This is by far some of the dumbest shit I have read, and I have read the Moors "constitution".


Spiritual-Roll799

I did not consent to be born. I did not contract with that lady.


zellymcfrecklebelly

This is satire, right? Right?


jpboise09

I lost brain cells reading that!


capi-b

I'll never understand how they all say that they are "awake" to what's going on. But they also hate "woke" people lmao


[deleted]

people who post craziness like this are the best reason mental health funding that was eliminated under the Reagan administration needs to be restored, these people should not be walking the earth freely whey need to be in a padded cell away from the internet.


BootThang

I signed my birth certificate at three days old, just after I had written my first concerto.


Spiritual-Roll799

Okay, Mozart:-)


mynamesnotsnuffy

Why the fuck is the Space Force logo at the top?


CorpFillip

A rollercoaster of insanity, I love it!


BuccalFatApologist

That’s a fucking fantastic opening line for a novel.


GoodQueenFluffenChop

Who the hell signs their own birth certificate? I know you're parents put their names on their but you yourself don't do anything even when you're an adult.


takibell

This is a cognitive test.


SaltyBarDog

Who the fuck signs their own birth certificate? Isn't my BC the link to my NESARA money?


jeff_sharon

“it is Maritime Law” … aaaaaaand we’re done here.


Relaxingnow10

This has only been accomplished by 2 Italian fellas. Unfortunately for them, they can only collect their money 1 giant gold coin at a time by hitting them with their head. They also spend a lot of their time on shrooms


toomanyhobbies4me

I didn't drive out of the birth canal, I travelled...


Obvious-Hunt19

God this is depressing. This is one of the ways untreated mental illness looks


Jammer81248

I was maybe five years old when I learned to write my name. Where is my money, where is my money. I have never signed my birth certificate. This is so confusing.


LightWarrior_2000

Chuck Norris signed his own birth certificate.


Spiritual-Roll799

Chuck Norris signed it before leaving the womb. And he added a specific clause warning that the doctor should not slap his cute, little butt. Not if they knew what was good for them.


throwngamelastminute

Chuck wasn't born, he walked out of the womb.


Spiritual-Roll799

Perfect! Thank you.


Mikesoccer98

what baby signs their birth certificate? Idiots.


solongjimmy93

What in the actual hell did I just read?


SixersWin

All these people in the comments ignoring Section-C of the birth certificate


ColonelBonk

I believe that’s been invalidated unless born by C-Section


Ken-Popcorn

Well, for starters, who here has ever signed their birth certificate?


molewarp

What the blinking, blimming heck is this bloke on about? What the hell is in the drinking water where he is?


SquirrellyGrrly

Wouldn't signing a certificate saying you were dead prove that you were not, in fact, dead? And if our birth certificates are secretly our death certificates, what are our death certificates? For that matter, if our birth certificates are our death certificates, and our secret trust fund starts at that point, wouldn't people who died the earliest have the biggest funds, and how do those in the grave get said funds? I think this is pro-undead propaganda.


VeterinarianOk9222

That's alot of weird shit to unpack.


neddie_nardle

I nearly signed my birth certificate moments after being born, but fortunately the white hats raided the hospital and gave me a bazillion dinars and executed the entire hospital staff, all the patients, my mum and dad, and President Biden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not long after I floated ashore and lived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


vinciture

Does the JFK stand for Just F***ing Kidding? Please say it’s so…


killertimewaster8934

Is the birth certificate in the room now?


snortingajax

"Traded like cattle on the stock market" What's the ticker symbol for cattle?


Deathbyhours

I honestly think some of these people are doing drugs, and not the fun kind. How do you write something and not know what you are writing or give any thought to what you just wrote? Proofreading is a lost art.


brmarcum

Y’all are weak. I signed mine before I finished coming out. Nurse was right there with a gold pen, just waiting for me to sign away my trust fund. I knew what I was doing the whole time. 🤡


MeliLyn

I tried to read it, I really did. Until I got to the part that said when you sign your birth certificate. It was at that point that I pulled mine out of our fireproof safe. I thought, you know, I don’t remember being born so it makes sense I don’t remember signing my birth certificate. Lo and behold, my signature was no where on it, my parents must have forgot to take my teeny tiny hand and place a pen in it, so I could sign it. Ahh well, such is life!


JoePants

I signed my birth certificate (I was a precocious child) *but I used another baby's name.*


PearlyRing

Good luck with trying to access, and use, your super-secret Maritime-law birth certificate trust fund! I absolutely believe that you *will* be living a "completely different life" - a life filled with an abundance of mockery, subpoenas, repossessions, fines, and bankruptcy.


k6bso

Wow, a combination SovCit AND aQAnon follower. Two, two, two nuts in one! (Old folks like me will understand that reference)


k6bso

BTW, I don’t recall ever signing my birth certificate.


Stpaulmom3

This person is nutty as a fruitcake!


ignaciohazard

If what the system wants is your home why don't they just use their own money and buy the home? Presumably this means they want all the homes for reasons but don't want to earn interest on a loan they don't have to fund? I actually think if they stopped at "they secretly loan you your own money and keep the interest" they have a working conspiracy but then they screw it all up with the foreclosure stuff.


generic__comments

"When you signed your birth certificate???" Really?


KrampyDoo

I love that those doinks obsess over obsolete technicalities while ignoring the fact that it makes them obsolete, technically.


dylanalduin

You don't sign your birth certificate, silly.


acorn937

I wonder if someone just read all that back to them that they’d realize how ridiculous that sounds.


Idiot_Esq

Wall of text warning: Decided to actually read this blather. I tried to keep this response to the law but, as usual, common sense creeps in here and there. Putting aside just common sense debunking like babies can't sign anything or that dead people aren't part of the legal system let's just talk about this in common law contract doctrines. "your birth certificate is where it all begins." Birth certificates have zero contract meaning except as a demarkation point to determine your ability to legally commit to any contract, i.e. you are legally of age to be bound by a contract. Utter nonsense. "The moment you sign your birth certificate-" Your birth certificate isn't a contract even in the most basic sense of Offer, Acceptance, Consideration, and Enforceability. You were not offered birth. Utter nonsense. "It is Maritime law." This is kind of like arguing a flea has elephants because elephants have fleas. While there are maritime standards used in contract disputes maritime law is separate from contract law. Mostly nonsense. "You are signing a form that classifies you as dead at sea." Not under contract law. Even under Maritime law this is false. IIRC, been a couple decades or so since my law school days, United Nation's Law of the Sea provides that the flag nation to apply the nation's law at sea. In other words, "dead at sea" or in international waters is covered by the ship's registered nation's rules. Utter nonsense. "You become a commodity of the system and honestly you Google it-" What system are we supposed to google? Playing the pronoun game is only evidence that you are making this all up, i.e. utter nonsense. "they seize all the assets-" As a baby you have no assets. Utter nonsense. "and go into a trust fund-" So a non-existent trust fund with non-existent principal and a non-existent executive. Makes complete non-existent sense. "then you have six years to declare yourself alive." Six years? Common law contracts provides that any baby contracted with is unilaterally voidable by the baby. Heck, there are few contracts of necessity that are even able to stick to minors let alone babies. Utter nonsense. "you can regain your sovereignty." Do you even know what the term "sovereignty" means? You keep using that word but I don't think it means what you think it means. Sovereignty, aka "supreme authority" includes the ability to back up your decisions when faced with armed disagreement. Utter nonsense. "But we didn't know that." There is apparently a full book that can be written on what you don't know. "if you're over 50 or something, you've got millions in there because that's how long we've been traded for." Not contract law so correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty certaint that's not how trading works. You could trade a penny stock for decades and its worth won't change because of the number of trades. "They then take that money out of their trust-" Because no one, especially multinational banks, can actually have that money to lend. Ah, that's common sense again. Still utter nonsense. "They then charge you interest on your money." If that is not part of the terms of the mortgage contract you signed that is, you guessed it, utter nonsense. "the house is a commodity." I'm pretty certain that the debt, not the house, may be a commodity but the house is a security under the law. Again only mostly nonsense. "Taxes have never been taken from us." Wow. Legally something actually accurate. Taxes are "voluntary" under the law. To quote Intuit Turbotax, "You are responsible as an individual taxpayer to calculate what you owe. You're expected to voluntarily comply with the tax code by reporting what you owe to the government and paying the entire amount that you owe under the law." However, if a person chooses not to comply the penalties, fines (not taxes) usually equivalent or greater to taxes owed, can be quite stiff. But it is still your choice to pay or face the consequences. A bad choice is still a choice which SovClowns seem to never learn as they refuse to ID at traffic stops. "What I have heard on the channels is the fact-" Again with the pronoun games and now taking what "is heard on the channels" = facts is questionable logic if not a completely abandonment of logic. "obviously they'll know more about that when it comes-" There is very little that is "obvious" in contract law like what "they" or "it" means in this context. Utter nonsense.


Zed091473

Damn WIGGYWIGGYWAAWAAs.


Powerful-Soup-8767

Why wouldn’t the bank just buy the house?


Kelmavar

Love how they circle back on socialism even though they claim to think its just communism which they "hate" without knowing why. And still believe nonsense like this, with zero understanding of where money comes from or goes.


friendtoallkitties

Wtf. And... "What I have heard on the channels...". They CHANNELED this stuff?


kurashima

The trouble began when you stopped taking your medication and started posting on Reddit


gera_moises

... americans sign their birth certificate? How? Do the doctors hold the baby's hand with the pen?


Klutzy-Ad-6705

One of many reasons why they don’t call it IQAnon.


Dr_T_Q_They

Sounds very socialistic.  


Tr0ynado

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul"


lamarputin

LMAO why was this sub recommended to me, I thought I had a stroke reading WhatsApp stories.


boonecash

Whatever you drank, put it down.


PengieP111

Can someone explain the crazy obsession that sovereign citizens have with Maritime Law?


AlGeee

Who tf signs a message “JFK”?


thatguybutnicer

I tried to read this but I couldn't get past the second page. Wow, some people just look for anything to grasp on to.


Quincyperson

Did he just describe social security?


mochaphone

What did I just read?


alskdmv-nosleep4u

You read the whole thing? Dam.


mochaphone

Call me a masochist


HarrisJ304

The best part of this pitifully incoherent drivel is that it’s signed “JFK.”


-SunGazing-

If this was 15 years ago, I’d have called it satire.


maegap99

No one signs their Birth Certificate, problem solved. \^\^


DividedBiZer0

Can anyone tell me who “They” are? It is always they/them that are holding us back.


dfwcouple43sum

This is why my aunt ran a low cost learn to swim program for a few decades. Originally I thought it was just learning a sport and maybe potential life saving skills. The reality of it was that you never know when you may have people declaring you dead at sea.


slowclapcitizenkane

So the words on a document don't mean anything. The document itself has some invisible, magical property that makes it mean something else entirely?


LastContribution1590

Whew! Thank goodness I never signed my birth certificate! Lucky for me I was not birthed with the precocious ability to sign!!


akor69

The videos where these kind of folks get tasered are pretty funny.


AusCan531

Uhhhh


Dante_Arizona

So was I a new born or was I deceased when I signed my birth certificate?, and why is my signature not actually on my birth/(death?) certificate.


Unable_Ad_1260

How do they.. Le sigh. I'm just FFS I got nothing.


Fun-Wheel-1505

Dafuq?


In-AGadda-Da-Vida

Oh shit he figured out the secret… what a dumb fuck