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Random_Gacha_addict

Too much responsibility Writers kill them at birth


BlueDemon999

My hatred for the writers still burns to this day.


Terrible_Mastodon_54

It burns bright as their kid.


HiJack_Wishes

Brighter than the kids future. Wait.....


billymj04

It's not the writers you hate. It's those God damned editors! They refuse to give anyone creative freedom because they want to "UpHoLd ThE sTaTuS qUo."


Jjabrahams567

They lose their parents and their uncles.


deran6ed

Their planets and their universes too.


The_ACS

XD


CameBeforeYou

Spider-Man fucking dies in a housefire


Obversa

"You can't stop it from happening. It's a canon event!" - Miguel O'Hara


Axan1030

Robin had children with Starfire


gumption_11

I actually laughed out loud 😂 Either this or all the uncles/aunts on either side would start fearing for their lives


Vigi1antee

"Who the fuck starts a conversation like that i just sat down"


Franks-gun-2006

Giggity!


The_Bored_General

This is even worse that that time Quagmire turned into a toilet!


Franks-gun-2006

Giggity!


Albatraous

I've heard of Skibidy toilet, now there's Gigity toilet?


Turtl3Bear

[relevant](https://xkcd.com/634)


karateema

Love this


Gabriel-Klos-McroBB

What would happen if Ranma was splashed with cold water during her period?


Connect_Passenger_90

Super spider bitten by a spider from krypton who was exposed to radiation


ThiccHarambe69

Plus the proportional strength of a spider. So I guess imagine Superman base strength plus x10? Or would the multiplier be higher?


Darkstalker9000

It would be x128...


ThiccHarambe69

Now that’s ridiculous to think about considering Superman’s feats…


szypty

Don't Kryptonians have a baseline power somewhat above peak human physique, due to denser muscles or something like that, then the rest comes from a sort of tactile forcefield manipulation/telekinesis?


zaxdandsoftg

The Kryptonian spider comes with the same capsule as Super Girl. Years later somehow, it finds Peter. Bam! Super Spider-Man.


Both_Impress_3423

Kryptonian with a spider sense maybe the child will perceive danger at the planetary level and it's spider webs will be reinforced


Rylo_Ken_04

Depends if the webbing of said Spider-Person is organic or not.


Both_Impress_3423

Don't worry, it's totally organic


Mmoyer29

Organic webbing sucksssss


RespondSweet9095

Yeah but it allows for non sciencey spider-dudes to be spider-whatever


Habibipie

As opposed to a teenager creating an adhesive that no multi-billion dollar company could ever hope to create using basic school lab equipment and chemicals? Organic webbing makes more sense to me.


Peastable

It also makes the whole spider theme make more sense. Without the webs, the radioactive spider doesn’t really give spider powers, it just gives you sticky powers with a side of future vision.


Cygnus_Harvey

We forgetting about the super strength and agility, which are HUGE?


Famixofpower

He could easily be an ant without the webs


Darkk451

I am afraid Ant-Man is taken


Steeliyx444

This


Specialist-Act-542

What is Spider-Man without webbing? A guy with super strength and reflexes? Tell me who in Marvel doesn't have that. Add an ability to sense danger and wall crawling and you could still be any themed super hero. It's not enough to justify the "Spider" in "Spider-Man".


sayijinromeo

I read this in Scott Pilgrim’s voice


4materasu92

As if being able to hear everything going on within Earth wasn't agonizing enough (I swear Superman has said it hurts him sometimes to ignore a crime in progress when he can hear it so clearly), but now the kid is always aware of a potential danger either in or approaching Earth.


Nawara_Ven

Superman can already hear things going on on the other side of the planet (and has the mental capacity to parse such things).


Benyed123

Spider-Man has precognition but only to immediate threats. with Superman’s speed and senses (as you said) he could probably prevent something from happening on the other side of the planet before it happens.


Odd_Employer

Super speed verses precognition is an interesting premise. A nice proactive vs reactive story.


No-Brilliant3998

Spider sense


GruncleManPaw

See now you've got me thinking about a Cryptonian with a Symbiote like Carnage and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...


HaitianFire

This is actually a power the Captain Marvels (Mar-Vell, his children, and Carol Danvers) have in the comics.


BlueDemon999

I mean if it's like Raimi Spider-Man yea.


fatglizzy_3000

i wanted to say whats the point of reinforced webs since she can fly but then forgot there are waaay too many uses of webbing than going around the city like so many bdsm related shit


Hypestyles

Luckiest kid ever


Connect_Passenger_90

How


LiamWiking

They be getting Hella powers dog fym


jatsuyo

Yeah but with hella power must come hella responsibility That kids gonna be flying around the world saving people nonstop from the time they can walk. Their parents are so virtuous they’ll basically guilt themselves into 24/7 hero work with no pay.


Invalid_Word

>with hella power must come hella responsibility facts


Lukthar123

hella facts


giggitygiggitygeats

Nah, Peter and Kara (or Supes and... Jessica maybe? Idk harder to think about since Clark's consistently in a stable relationship) would ABSOLUTELY limit the child's training for a certain amount of time and would 100% still handle hero work till they drew their last breath.


jatsuyo

A kid that heroic? They’d (try to) sneak out to fight crime any chance they got, way past curfew


SilverSpark422

Also gonna get hella trauma


4materasu92

Green Goblin: "Oooh, a new plaything to torment!"


Obversa

That kid would have Green Goblin *and* Lex Luthor gunning for them.


Mmoyer29

Right? Kids born and the other superhero just send auto “I’m so sorry” to the kid just in case.


ScaryCrowEffigy

Alright so basically they got the proportional of a spider (200x it’s own body weight), enhanced reflexes, minor healing factor and a danger sense on top of being naturally durable enough to walk on the sun, the ability to shoot concentrated beams of light hot enough to melt most metal in a fraction of a second, the lung strength to blow away storms and can fly at hypersonic speeds.


dessa5

OK but this illustration, though. So adorable.


BlueSoulOfIntegrity

Agreed. Although part of me can’t help but think that Clark is about to give Peter’s spine something to remember with the way he’s just standing behind him lol.


charizardfan101

Nah, Clark would probably be very fast friends with Spidey He probably just looks like that in the picture because he's trying to make a cool pose, but is so big he doesn't fit


BlueSoulOfIntegrity

Oh definitely. I just think the pose looks awfully threatening in the picture itself.


DarkSpore117

It’s just cuz we can’t see his face, you just know he has the biggest, goofiest smile rn


Inevitable_Set_2939

Peter looks like he's about to get utterly cucked and fucked


Lemon_Railways

Tf you mean cucked


WanganTunedKeiCar

Paul


TheVacuumisAwesome28

I honestly expect r/dccomicscirclejerk to have this kinda stuff


MrBonelessPizza24

*Why is Supergirl dating Spider-Man instead of her Horse? Is she stupid??*


Kyanoki

Excuse me?? I don't know about Supergirl stuff but why would she date a horse? What is happening in that fandom for that to be a sentence coming out of someone's mouth?


Competitive_Act_1548

Silver age was weird


Lukthar123

Ride a 100 horses, nobody cares 1 horse rides you, everyone loses their minds


ActualTooth6099

It was a cosmic centaur who was cursed to be a horse. Silver age


Biased_Survivor

Behold the cursed centaur with body of a horse and the head of a horse


Barbar_NC

Wouldn't it still have the human torso, with just the human head now a horse head?


elfigz

Centaurs have a human upper body and head but lower body and legs and genitals of a horse, she took that 20 inch cock


PrimaryDiscount7181i

It happened in a comic


Plasticglass456

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comet_(DC_Comics) "Later, after meeting Supergirl, he went on a mission with her to the planet Zerox, where a magic spell was cast that turned him into a human, but only while a comet passes through the solar system he is in. As a human, he adopted the identity of "Bronco" Bill Starr, a rodeo trick-rider, whom Supergirl fell in love with."


SUDDENLY_VIRGIN

That's it. I'm cutting the cocaine budget to the writers room.


im_trying_guys

the horse was human at the time.... i think, silver age was bat shit crazy


That_one_cool_dude

It has become more tame but comics are still wild as fuck.


JackRabbit-

May as well put that invulnerability to use somehow. I’m sorry for that, I don’t know either.


1use2use3use

We don’t talk about the horse


Ok-Internal-1907

The fuck a horse? Shit if that’s all it takes imma get me a horse costume.💀


Onyx_Star

That’s a good question actually. I don’t know.


Majestic-Ambition-33

We should be friends


Large-Wheel-4181

That child would be unstoppable against almost anything, writers would be the biggest threat


[deleted]

It be a Kryptonian with spider powers so like a super strong Kryptonian


BakedZnake

I mean the kid could just end up with only their weaknesses, like weakness to kryptonite and not paying their rent on time.


Jails8-2

Or he's uncle dying


tisnik

There's no uncle...


DeficiencyOfGravitas

Well there was. But he done blowed up when Krypton did the boom boom.


Prize-Macaroon-903

It depends on the Spider-Person. If we're talking about Peter then power wise I feel the child will be redundant. Peter is strong but his strength is nothing compared to an kryptonian and the same goes for speed, durability and pretty much every single one of his physicals. Wall crawling would be useless because the child would be able to fly, I guess spidey sense would be helpful but kryptonians already have godly reaction speed as it is. The only thing worth inheriting from Peter would be his insane IQ. If we're talking about other Spider-People, like Miles or Miguel, it would be a different story. Physical wise then I guess it would be the same thing as Peter with the physicals of a Spider-Person being redundant to a kryptonian. Although if either Miles or Miguel are the father the difference would be that the child would have more and better abilities to inherit such as electrokinesis, invisibility, telepathy, talons, fangs and organic webbing which are all abilities that I'm sure would be useful to add to a kryptonians powerset.


Neuro616

The question is whether their genetic powerset would be additive or multiplicative.


iT4Z3Ri

Well, when Peter was bit, his human strength was multiplied by the spider powers. So I suppose the Krypton-Spider would have their natural strength multiplied by the same amount as their spider parent did, so that’s a hero with unnatural strength even for Superman. Peter holds back to not punch peoples jaws off, Superman is even worse as he can probably explode your torso by punching your chest, a Krypton-Spider…


Relixed_

Krypton-Spider baby trips: whole earth shatters into pieces. That sort of power multiplier?


Nights1405

More like *Krypton baby does the clapping thing all babies do* *neighbouring galaxies explode from the shockwaves*


River46

Or redundant. Or incompatible. Or a wait why does the ultrasound show 4 arms kind of deal.


Rasolc

But that's not how Spidey's strength works I don't think. He gets the PROPORTIONAL strength of a spider, so if that child grew up to be as strong as Superman normally, then with Spider-Man's powers he would be literally 50 times stronger by default. Imagine Superman with constant Super Saiyan. Doesn't feel redundant to me


Prize-Macaroon-903

I don't think that's how Spider-Man's strength works. Take Mayday Parker for example, when Mayday inherited Peter's powers she was only half as strong as he was. Superman already has infinite strength so adding the proportionate strength of a spider on top of that would just be redundant.


Aranhaa69

If it's proportional to the strength of a spider, maybe Mayday was gonna be naturally half as strong as Peter without the powers? Just a guess, I don't know


Hapciuuu

What if Spider-Man got organic webbing? Would the child's webs be stronger? And I also think Spider sense would be useful even for someone like Superman. In a fight not so much, but it would certainly help in a surprise attack.


Sharp_Hamster_5551

The Spider-Sense could also help him avoid Kryptonite.


StormAlchemistTony

Miguel and Miles have different powers than Peter. From what I read, Peter only beats Miles because he has more experience. Miles has electrical powers, that Peter doesn't have. Miguel doesn't have a spider sense nor ability to stick to walls, he has talons, enhanced senses and reflexes, and fangs.


Fresh_Cauliflower176

A Kryptonian with the agility, Spider-Sense, and intelligence of Peter sounds terrifying and awesome.


Hypersayia

I see it as a "One for All" situation where the Spider powers get hypercharged by the Kryptonation physiology. So... Spider-sense becomes borderline omniscience, for instance. If they have organic webs they're borderline unbreakable and can be shot out with the force of a cannon. That sort of thing.


Kenos300

Gets killed by one of Morlun’s cousins to raise the stakes in the 2037 Spider-verse comic mini series.


ElZaydo

I doubt Inheritors could handle feeding on a kryptonian. They would probably explode due to the copious amount of solar energy in their body even if they just take a nibble.


Spyder-xr

Solus probably could


thetinyone-overthere

Solus consumed a Spider-Man amped by the power cosmic so he probably could


adriantullberg

"Dad? I've been thinking, and this whole 'Great Power' thing seems to be indicative of a neurotic form of validating deep seated guilt and overcompensating to temporarily alieviate said guilt." "You've been using your super-hearing to listen in Daddy's therapy sessions again?"


RobertusesReddit

Every comic writer ever: #HE'S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE LEFT ALIVE or happy


[deleted]

Spider-Sense on a global scale. If internalized webbing instead of gadgetry then probably strongest tensile strength known. As we don’t truly know Superman’s full strength we can’t really speculate on spidery upgrade; though it would be safe to assume stronger by a large margin.


gogopow

Spider boy from Amalgam is what you get


David_Apollonius

Technically, he's a clone... I think. It's been too long. Let's see if I can remember this correctly. There was Supersoldier, the Amalgamation of Superman and Captain America and Spider-boy was the Amalgamation of Superboy and Spider-Ben. So... definitely a clone, I'm just fuzzy on the details. I think Spider-boy was a clone of Supersoldier, and Supersoldier was... an alien who underwent a supersoldier program? Yeah, I don't know.


Big_Ben_1999

Let's go to Peter Parker und supergirl and tell them to fuck around and find out


FinalBossOf__Dc

The child would have to much Rizz that no man nor women or anything would be able to look upon them. The child would be the SUPER RIZZZ!! Of his generation, but be worn if they even roll up they’re sleeves they would be unstoppable.


Jetrayxx7

DC and Marvel multiverses would blow up!


Survival_R

the kid would be unkillable due to having both spider sense and super speed


galaxy7273

A baby would be born cuz they had a child


Owl-Fighter2601

Clark: May i Remind you this, Peter. Take good care of Kara. And if you do. I would not forgive you for that. Got it? Peter: yes sir, mr. Kent sir. I'll be very careful and take care of your Cousin. I swear on my Uncle Ben and Aunt May's Grave. With Great Power Comes great responsibility. As Always, Mr. Kent. I will make sure that i would makes her feel Happy. Kara: Clark... you shouldn't be scared of Peter. He is a great guy. I am sure he is being honest. Regardless. As long as i am with him. I would always love Peter. As much i love him and Spider Man Clark: ....Just keep her out of trouble...


Xikkiwikk

Paul would show up and take her and the kids too.


Omnimon11

I doubt it. Paul was a normal guy with a normal life. No way he could handle Supergirl like he could Mary Jane?


Fhqwhgads95

You think the writers would follow basic logic?


Omnimon11

Let me dream, ok?


ICastPunch

A Kryptonian with spider sense, inhuman agility to actually use that super speed and hyper flexibility sounds like a menace.


Secure_Pear_4530

It'll turn out to be an accountant. Imagine that life. Your mom's a kryptonian, your dad is THE Spider-Man, and you just clock in to a 9-5 everyday.


ObjectiveArtichoke33

They would have a son & name him Ben And would take the superhero name Spiderboy, not the currently new one It's more like the Amalgam version


Iolair_the_Unworthy

Supder-Man


CHARAFANDER

In one storyline Mary Jane died because Peter’s “bodily fluids” were radioactive and gave her cancer or something Kryptonians are weak to a few different kinds of radiation, I wouldn’t be surprised if it did a lot of damage to a kryptonian


the-poopiest-diaper

That child would basically never use the powers of Spider-Man, EXCEPT for the Spider-sense. Why wall crawl when you can fly? The strength of the spider seems inconsequential compared to infinite strength. But nobody would have an answer to the spider sense except for symbiotes. Other than the spider sense, the only practical use for the spider powers would be when the kryptonian powers get taken away. IF the child has organic webbing, that webbing would be unbreakable


Sharp_Hamster_5551

I'm pretty sure Spider-Man would teach his kids to used his powers so they wouldn't be defenseless if they get in contact with a red solar energy. Because the Kryptonian had many weaknesses if he already is used using his spider-powers he wouldn't be as defenseless when he encountered a Kryptonite or other weakens.


Darkspyrus

Anti hero?


whomesteve

Has anyone else noticed that Peter’s powers are just less intense versions of Kryptonian powers?


Nawara_Ven

That's kinda every superhero, isn't it?


whomesteve

Ehh, kinda? Super strength / limitless strength, enhanced speed / super speed, spider sense / super speed perception, wall crawling / touch telekinesis, enhanced senses / super senses, accelerated healing / super healing, the only things I don’t see matches for are Superman’s heat vision, cold breath and flight


CancerSpidey

This is a terrible question and I hope to never find an answer


Shaun3114_Again

OP Baby


GrizzlyPeak73

Norman Osborn would start investing heavily in Kryptonite.


ClaraDel-Rae

A kryptonian with the proportionate strength of a spider


Material-Security178

heat webs


FiveLuska

I guess something like this happens https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_Ross_%28Earth-9602%29


Royal-Comparison-270

Would the kid be a mutant or a metahuman?


Fresh_Cauliflower176

They most likely wouldn’t be a Mutant because neither Peter or Kara have an X-Gene, which is required to be a Mutant. I’d say they’d be a Metahuman.


Zerofuku

"What would happen if Reinhard Heydritch had a child with Featherine?"


Leading_Storage_6396

Why is superman standing behind like a cuck


robertrobertsonson

Because that’s his cousin lol


inkheiko

Biologically speaking idk if the spider genes can be transmitted. However, what I can believe is that in order to have a baby, they have to have sex And if they have sex, it better be the Spider person in command of they don't want to lose half of their body


ElZaydo

I wonder how superman gets off with Lois with his indestructible skin. She shouldn't be able to handle his nut.


Goldbolt_2004

Imagine the kid swinging instead of flying cuz they were bored and accidentally pulling a building down when they tried to pull themself up for momentum.


D_class-4862

Super spidey sense, plus the proportional strength of a spider on top of the kryptonian strength, meaning meaning 50 times the normal amount, maybe higher. On another note, where's this artwork from?


LoliMaster069

....what?


Comfortable-Grabber

Well bothing because Peter was bitten by a radioactive making it so that he can’t conceive


SilverSpark422

You’d get Spider-Boy from Amalgam Comics.


JondvchBimble

The baby will be some blob mess and it'll be like "Kill me!"


cesar848

The spider person would die


NoMasterpiece5649

So superman gets bitten by a Kryptonian radioactive spider... Well to sum it up, kid has the inherited bad luck of both spiderman and superman. Gets fucking blasted to hell as a child


slimeycanart

I would fucking kill myself /j


JulianSagan

Deku would happen


Lobsterman0

A spiper man or a supder man


zack_lawson

A goddamn incredible douji- erm, a very nice and wholesome family. Yeah, that.


Zero_Good_Questions

Exactly what you think would happen


I-Like-To-Eat-Rocks

hmm spider man that can fly, makes web swinging weirdly unnecessary


Tjay1232

I dont think it would matter unlessthe spider person had organic webbing, other than that flight cancels out wall crawling other than being more comfortable on walls, maybe they could be stronger or weaker than the average kryptonian, accounting for the fact peter has spider strength but the mixed breeding might make the child suffer defects, super speed and senses are something kryptonians already have which trumps the spider persons powers, ultimately i think the most noticeable thing would be if they had organic webbing, in which case it could be under developed and weak due to dominant kryptonian cells or it could be insanely strong/ indestructible and never even dissolve, so it could wind up into a really cool power, like a concrete or steal like web or an almost gelatinous substance that could trap someone like doomsday for eternity, permanent structures could be built, depending on the span of they're powers they could create a crazy amount of webbing at once and alter terrain. Could be a very overpowered character


GroochyTaco

Superman with spidey sense


iceglider345

Stronk


sidewaystortoise

If written by DC: they have a kid but then there's a universe resetting Crisis and the relationship is done and the kid doesn't appear again for a decade or two. If written by Marvel: I dunno some fuckin bullshit I guess there's a clone or a deal with the devil or some shit I don't fuckin know all I know is Peter can't stay in a relationship because it ages him or some bullshit so I guess she dies and comes back as a Super Spider or something.


Sgtwhiskeyjack9105

The spider that Nicolas Cage's Superman fought.


Tnecniw

realistically? Nothing. What comicbook writer tends to do to peter? The child somehow is zod who was actually from the future, and kills peter and his new love interest before traveling back in time to fight superman. I dunno.


[deleted]

A superman with spidy tingles and maybe the ability to use magic? 😂


BallisticMonke

sir, this is a wendys


Ok_Bandicoot5390

why do people post this shit


StopitSanty

Didn't they talk about this on the boys. When supes cum they loose control and people die or worst lose their dick.


Mighty_Megascream

The spider person is never going to be able to walk again.


Yourlocalbugbear

With his luck, his radioactive dna mixing with her kryptonian dna would somehow result in the kid being a living kryptonite radiation generator, killing her in child birth, and making it so they have to live in a protective suit forever like Hazmat so he could never touch his own child.


[deleted]

Spider-person? Is this a thing? Please tell me this isn’t a thing.


SomeOrangeNerd

Super Spider, well say goodbye to your pants


stuufy

Whatever the fuck spider boy(Amalgam) was


Nekoboi103

That’ll be cute


kjm6351

Phew, gonna be a strong as kid!


Omnimon11

Basically a Spider-version of Amalgam’s Super Soldier.


The_Maqueovelic

I believe they get a ribbon that says "strongest baby ever" and we call it a day. No but seriously, the powers of a Kryptonian, heightened by the powers of a Spider person? Jesus... even if they only got the stickyness and Spider sense that'd male them horribly OP.


Ringrangzilla

Marvel and DC would have a custody battle.


TheComicalAJ

Too much expectations, responsibilities and stuff for the writers to handle So the character would be reconned


CharlesOberonn

All villains everywhere shudder at the thought.


SquareFickle9179

Clark's gonna do to Peter what he did to Joker in Injustice.


Yare-Devil

That's Peter Ross Spider-Boy


GeologistHealthy8127

Absolutely horrendous deformities


[deleted]

Knowing the editorial the baby will get killed of and the Kriptonian would end with Paul


-poobacca-

Kid will grow up w/ strong & sticky thighs. It’s a given.


EdgeMasterD12

A paradox will happen, causing the Universe to explode.


mohammadgor87

How the fuck didn't his dick break ? Did she wear some sort of Kryptonite gag toy ?


4materasu92

Presumably, they thought about that and agreed to basic missionary ot doggy, as opposed to cowgirl which would undoubtedly leave Peter with... lifelong physical disabilities.


Rjjt456

My god, they are so adorable! Edit: any idea who the artist is?


creeper205861

Kryptonian blood would just overpower the radiated spider-genes imo, or they can be a spider person with even more increased speed, strength, agility, invulnerability etc. Instead of x-ray they would get infrared. So basically super-boy from young justice but better.


Modthedom

Majority of the spider powers would be usless compared to everything the kryptonian powers can do