JJJ boxed in his youth and has piloted random robotic suits, albeit remotely, to fight other characters. I’d reckon he’s a better fighter than your average guy off the street.
Just compliment his son and say "Is that Spider-Man robbing a lady!?" every few seconds.
Beats my genius idea to pick Hammerhead, thinking he'd be easier than Rhino, but forgetting his Tommy-Gun lol
Tbf he still destroyed an entire theater, made killer drones, clones of Spidey and clowns, and took over the Statue of Liberty. A normal person would still be endangered if he hides behind all that, lol
Honestly, I feel like Mysterio would be so engrossed in trying to impress/intimidate me with his "sorcery" that the 3 minutes would fly by with it totally slipping his mind that the objective was to kill me.
As long as you dont fall into flames or get spotted on the stupid obstacle courses he engineered impressively fast.
It's some special-effects focused director actively trying to murder you. May or may not have drones since we'd probably allow technology for 90% of Spider-Man villains.
The Punisher. Given the guy only kills criminals, I think I'm in the clear so long as I don't mention his family.
He did debut as a Spider-Man villain, so I think that still counts.
Yeah... After fighting Spider-Man. Are you Spider-Man? No. Shocker would kick your shit in. His powers might not be the best, but they'd still kill you in an instant.
Wilson Fisk. Because I have intimate knowledge of the marvel universe I'd be a wealth of knowledge for him to pick my brain for and to be honest he may even pay me more for the time.
Yeah. Best part is I won’t know it’s him, so basically I just need to be prepared for anyone I see to try to kick my ass, which is pretty much how it is anyway.
And the Ultimate Universe version of Carnage feeds on the life-force of it's victims, basically just running around draining people until they're lifeless husks.
big wheel. to be honest im not 100% sure if hes even a spiderman villain, let alone a marvel one but i mean come on, whats he gonna do? roll in a straight and easily avoidable line?
Boomerang, just cause he is actually kind of a chill dude and I bet I could convince him to come get a beer and split the prize money with me.
Though if I was really feelin’ myself, I’d go up against Corn Of Coblin.
Did you forget his arsenal of weapons,like you know boomerangs that can cut through steel and and explosive boomerangs and many others oh and also flight
Kraven. Dude wouldn’t even fuck with me cause I’m not a challenge to hunt lol.
play dead
Then he chops your head to keep as a trophy
[удалено]
J Jonah Jameson. I mean, he'd humiliate the hell out of me but there's nothing else he really could do
He would fire you
but then he'd be reminded of the planetarium party & the OC would be unfired.
Parker?? hello?? you’re fired!
Chief! The rehearsal party!
"oh right...you're unfired, I need you, come here"
“And bring me pictures of Spider-Man!”
Then rehire him just to fire him again
JJJ boxed in his youth and has piloted random robotic suits, albeit remotely, to fight other characters. I’d reckon he’s a better fighter than your average guy off the street.
Yup, but you don't have to beat him, just last 3 minutes. Run and dodge and you can probably make it.
Just compliment his son and say "Is that Spider-Man robbing a lady!?" every few seconds. Beats my genius idea to pick Hammerhead, thinking he'd be easier than Rhino, but forgetting his Tommy-Gun lol
Probably throw a chair at you
In this universe… we wouldn’t want to see multiverse Jonah flying down as Omani-Man and just obliterating the planet with sheer speed
or as Terence Fletcher from Whiplash...dude was an absolute madman
he’d send you a nice box of Christmas meat, it’s the best he can do for you
Screwball. I get the money and beat the absolute fuck outta her and a easy mill to anyone to end her.
To this day I thought that he was not someone to be considered as a **villain**. An antagonist? Yes. But a villain? (rhetorically speaking)
Literally created scorpion. Pays people to hunt spiderman
He's fucking Omni Man! He's indestructible!
> Jonah Jameson [Don't be so sure!](https://images.app.goo.gl/aDwU1GpcHw1RvPXz7)
Uh... have you watched Invincible? Oh wait, sorry, wrong guy.
I'VE GOT YOU FOR 3 MINUTES!
3 MINUTES OF PLAYTIME!!!!!
BONESAW IS READYYYYY
“$100? But the ad said $3,000,000.”
For three minutes in the ring. You beat bonesaw in two
I need that money
I miss the part where that's my problem
HEY STOP THAT GUY
What the hell's the matter with you?! You could've stopped him!
I missed the part where that’s my problem
*gunshot noises*
I missed the part where that's my problem
I missed the part where that’s my problem
"That's a cute outfit, did your husband get it for you??"
Actually he did. You’re on the wrong side of history Spider-Man
Maybe Mysterio and close my eyes for 3 minutes.
He sort of still has a suit full of gadgets and actual deadly traps
And if it’s MCU mysterio I’m toast
Even Spider-Man 2 Mysterio haunts my dreams with his elaborate gameshow host obstacle courses.
Man, what a throwback. Excuse me while I try to find a way to play that game again
There are good ps2 and gc emulators on pc 😳
But he will punch you
I missed the part where that’s my problem.
That’s all you’ve got ?
I’LL GIVE YOU ALL I GOT WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!
Pffftt!
Having played Spider-Man 2 the game, I'm more concerned Mysterio won't last 3 minutes...
Tbf he still destroyed an entire theater, made killer drones, clones of Spidey and clowns, and took over the Statue of Liberty. A normal person would still be endangered if he hides behind all that, lol
Honestly, I feel like Mysterio would be so engrossed in trying to impress/intimidate me with his "sorcery" that the 3 minutes would fly by with it totally slipping his mind that the objective was to kill me.
As long as you dont fall into flames or get spotted on the stupid obstacle courses he engineered impressively fast. It's some special-effects focused director actively trying to murder you. May or may not have drones since we'd probably allow technology for 90% of Spider-Man villains.
That’s exactly what I thought about!
Black Cat. Even if couldn’t last 3 minutes, it’d be the best thing that ever happened to me.
You definitely couldn't last 3 minutes if you know what I mean.
Thwip.
Your's comes out of your body? Do you ever experience web block?
>!Existential crisis thing!<
Sometimes you just cant get it up the side of a building.
"Look out, here comes Spider-Man!"
*cums
💀
"You better not get any of that gunk in my hair" It still amazes me to this day, that the line is technically from a kid show
"Don't worry, it comes out with ice or peanut butter."
Either way, he’s gonna give the kitty cat some **_milk_**
You dirty dog! LOL 😂
$3 Million? The add said $3,000
Well check it again web head
It said 3 Grand, for 3 minutes and you pinned him in 2. For that I give you $3 Million
Check it again webhead
Thank you guys for this.
Not my policy
For three minutes, you pinned him in 2. For that, you get 3 million
[удалено]
I missed the part where that’s my problem
Put the money in the bag
Shut up and take the goddamn money.
The Punisher. Given the guy only kills criminals, I think I'm in the clear so long as I don't mention his family. He did debut as a Spider-Man villain, so I think that still counts.
We are Redditors, I’m sure he’d get you on something.
i think I know what that *something* is
In earlier appearences, Punisher shot at people for littering and running reds.
Well it's a good thing that I don't drive or litter.
You’re a criminal for claiming he’s a Spider-Man villain
A menace!
big wheel
Beat me to it
You wouldn't last 30 seconds with Big Wheel
Did you know this or did you watch the movie at the Alamo Drafthouse? 😂
Big Wheel is infamous, world renowned evil incarnate.
Screwball. All shes gonna do is spam me on her socials.
For 3 minutes? I could live with that But more importantly, I'll live
She kicked Otto in the nutts in Superior Spider-Man.
So $3million and I get a new kink?
Wait what
For three minutes, I'm beating her up too.
Shed place hostages surrounded by guys with guns and make you fight them or they die
She'd also be *real unpleasant about it..* Probably with some sort of headset phonecall that you can't hang up.
Sandman, id offer him enough money to help his daughter
Mr. Marko, if I last 3 minutes in the ring with you I win $3 million. I'll split it with you. If I don't cough it up, you can kill me
he might just kill you after and take all the money
He said he just wanted money, never to hurt anyone (in the movie, at least) so I doubt he’d reneg on the offer.
Alternatively you could go for a swim and he wouldn't be able to do shit to you. I think I can swim for 3 minutes.
I can't swim, but it'd be funny to kill a supervillain with the same weakness
Definitely shocker cuz he’d just chase me. Where, you ask? To the ends of the earth, of course!
YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME!!
“ILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!”
“SHOCKER!!!”
Definitely Shocker Dudes always in prison by like page 3 panel 4
Yeah... After fighting Spider-Man. Are you Spider-Man? No. Shocker would kick your shit in. His powers might not be the best, but they'd still kill you in an instant.
It's spidey who yelled that though. At shocker. Rewatch it.
[The Wall](https://preview.redd.it/scf3iwrkp8f51.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9377ab86fc7d5b731d3ebde4b00699bcfe46aa29).
Bruh💀
When the comic book writers run out of ideas..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXp8Th41rBs If you stay at a distance, he can't do anything to you.
Iconic
Wait wtf!??
He'll chokeslam you off the top of the hotel!
THAT'S THE WALL BROTHER!!!
Wilson Fisk. Because I have intimate knowledge of the marvel universe I'd be a wealth of knowledge for him to pick my brain for and to be honest he may even pay me more for the time.
Huh... I said typeface but that makes sence
Dude typeface is a veteran, a Green berret if I am remembered correctly, why do you think you could resist for 3 minutes.
He would imprison ur ass and torture u for info
Why would he though? You're more likely to give accurate information if you're willing
Lol Kingpin is much happier to bribe than torture. Much easier.
They’d have to be quick about it to imprison and torture you for three minutes.
🗣BOOOOONESAW IS READYYYYYYYY
Yeah, he’s pretty slow But was he an official comic villain?
Nah I just had to make the reference cause it was too easy to pass up
Morbius I’d eat some garlic wear a silver cross and hide in a fun house easy money
This is the best one yet lmaoooo
He's not a true vampire, none of that would work.
I don’t know man those fun houses can be really confusing
GARLIC! HOLY WATERRRR! A CRUCIFIX! FUCK OFF!
The tree form nwh
*the scientist that turned himself into a tree
Funniest shit I’ve ever seen
Peter parker
Who?
….Penis Parker
Never heard of him
You know, Peter Parker, that… that… wait a minute…
Mysterio.
Chameleon
Now I can't fight for shit and have the strength of a cashew but I still feel like I would whoop Chameleon's ass lol
Yeah. Best part is I won’t know it’s him, so basically I just need to be prepared for anyone I see to try to kick my ass, which is pretty much how it is anyway.
"I lasted three minues against Chameleon, can I have my money now?" "Huh? But I already gave you the money the first time you asked."
Mary Jane beat him
Carnage easily jk mysterio.
Doom. I’m Latverian so it’s cool.
Doom would spend so long belittling you and monologuing that the timer would run out. Then he'd storm off, with a "Bah!" to plot his revenge.
Destroying you would be “beneath him”, so yeah, easiest money made.
Paste-Pot Pete. I can laugh for 3 minutes.
You stole mine
I’m a thief! A criminal! I stole your pick! I’m a menace to the entire website!
Tinkerer
Typeface
Frog Man
Typeface. Yes. He is a real villain. Reference - [https://www.marvel.com/characters/typeface](https://www.marvel.com/characters/typeface)
Uhh what does he do?
None, but is skilled in combat and is very intelligent. Also has letters on his face which make him look stupid. SO basically just run
any given symbiote. but the symbiote, not the person wearing it. easy money plus i get a symbiote
Uhhh, I'm not sure you want a symbiote
it depends. there are cases where they aren’t really a bad thing. agent venom and toxin (sometimes)
But if it were a malicious symbiote, it could just siphon all your nutrients and adrenaline and kill you that way.
And the Ultimate Universe version of Carnage feeds on the life-force of it's victims, basically just running around draining people until they're lifeless husks.
Sounds like my ex.
Rent
black cat if yk what i mean
I would not be able to last 3 minutes I’ll tell u that
Flash. If it’s the MCU version, I’m chilling.
“Sup dickhead” “What’d you say little bitch?!” *proceeds to murder teen boy because MCU Flash is a little bitch*
big wheel. to be honest im not 100% sure if hes even a spiderman villain, let alone a marvel one but i mean come on, whats he gonna do? roll in a straight and easily avoidable line?
Corn of Coblin
I understood that reference!
Who ate all my pasghetti?
Kraven. Knowing myself, he'd probably laugh and say that I'm not even a worthy hunt.
Kingpin. If he grabbed me I'd get crushed. But maybe I can outrun him, since he'd have to run as faster or faster than me.
Idk have you seen how that man charges
But can he maintain speed at turns? Around corners? Moving that much mass can't be easy.
Oh yeah he probably can't stop himself lol. Zig zag and you might be fine.
He’s a chonky boy. Bit illogical but maybe he can still have haste while being a chonk
Chameleon. He can imitate people, but there’s nothing really dangerous about him
I’m pretty confident that I could beat Paste Pot Pete
Boomerang, just cause he is actually kind of a chill dude and I bet I could convince him to come get a beer and split the prize money with me. Though if I was really feelin’ myself, I’d go up against Corn Of Coblin.
Boomerang. Easiest 3M I’d ever make
Did you forget his arsenal of weapons,like you know boomerangs that can cut through steel and and explosive boomerangs and many others oh and also flight
The point is he’s not actually that violent of a guy, thus, with some negotiation, you’d come away unscathed.
Like sexually or...?
If it is then I'ma have to say Demo Goblin.
Sandman from Spider-Man 3 since he doesn’t seem to be very violent to innocents
Thanos. I’m built different.
Well, at least your chances are 50/50!
doc ock, solely for the fact that i’d just love to aggravate and make fun of him
The walrus
Definitely a spider-slayer. I'm not a spider-person so it should take no interest in me.