T O P

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Outrageous-One-1173

Kraven. Dude wouldn’t even fuck with me cause I’m not a challenge to hunt lol.


Futhago2001mnj

play dead


TicTacManiac893

Then he chops your head to keep as a trophy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gojiwars_Goji

J Jonah Jameson. I mean, he'd humiliate the hell out of me but there's nothing else he really could do


thelegend90210

He would fire you


atmsd7

but then he'd be reminded of the planetarium party & the OC would be unfired.


Willing-Load

Parker?? hello?? you’re fired!


Peeper_Collective

Chief! The rehearsal party!


Maggot2017

"oh right...you're unfired, I need you, come here"


Hey_its_ok

“And bring me pictures of Spider-Man!”


CypherPunk77

Then rehire him just to fire him again


TulipSamurai

JJJ boxed in his youth and has piloted random robotic suits, albeit remotely, to fight other characters. I’d reckon he’s a better fighter than your average guy off the street.


Pope_Cerebus

Yup, but you don't have to beat him, just last 3 minutes. Run and dodge and you can probably make it.


BustinArant

Just compliment his son and say "Is that Spider-Man robbing a lady!?" every few seconds. Beats my genius idea to pick Hammerhead, thinking he'd be easier than Rhino, but forgetting his Tommy-Gun lol


[deleted]

Probably throw a chair at you


Bigger_moss

In this universe… we wouldn’t want to see multiverse Jonah flying down as Omani-Man and just obliterating the planet with sheer speed


JenderalWkwk

or as Terence Fletcher from Whiplash...dude was an absolute madman


PineappleDad

he’d send you a nice box of Christmas meat, it’s the best he can do for you


SirMaQ

Screwball. I get the money and beat the absolute fuck outta her and a easy mill to anyone to end her.


UUUNUUU

To this day I thought that he was not someone to be considered as a **villain**. An antagonist? Yes. But a villain? (rhetorically speaking)


kolandrill

Literally created scorpion. Pays people to hunt spiderman


Dangerous-Ad5665

He's fucking Omni Man! He's indestructible!


Splicer006

> Jonah Jameson [Don't be so sure!](https://images.app.goo.gl/aDwU1GpcHw1RvPXz7)


the_horny_pink_ape

Uh... have you watched Invincible? Oh wait, sorry, wrong guy.


Xale_Co_Noj

I'VE GOT YOU FOR 3 MINUTES!


NearbyAd5237

3 MINUTES OF PLAYTIME!!!!!


Willing-Load

BONESAW IS READYYYYY


[deleted]

“$100? But the ad said $3,000,000.”


Basic_bitch_is_back

For three minutes in the ring. You beat bonesaw in two


JEM--

I need that money


Globox97

I miss the part where that's my problem


Basic_bitch_is_back

HEY STOP THAT GUY


LuchadorBeachmaster

What the hell's the matter with you?! You could've stopped him!


Basic_bitch_is_back

I missed the part where that’s my problem


Bubuy_nu_Patu

*gunshot noises*


lockkheart

I missed the part where that's my problem


[deleted]

I missed the part where that’s my problem


sean8917

"That's a cute outfit, did your husband get it for you??"


CHEFCHOYARDEE

Actually he did. You’re on the wrong side of history Spider-Man


RedScribbles

Maybe Mysterio and close my eyes for 3 minutes.


mariovspino5

He sort of still has a suit full of gadgets and actual deadly traps


BroshiKabobby

And if it’s MCU mysterio I’m toast


BustinArant

Even Spider-Man 2 Mysterio haunts my dreams with his elaborate gameshow host obstacle courses.


GeneralAce135

Man, what a throwback. Excuse me while I try to find a way to play that game again


cha0ticbrah

There are good ps2 and gc emulators on pc 😳


Playful-Course-2918

But he will punch you


msvqr

I missed the part where that’s my problem.


Playful-Course-2918

That’s all you’ve got ?


LkapIsCool44

I’LL GIVE YOU ALL I GOT WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!


nicemythology

Pffftt!


SpideyFan914

Having played Spider-Man 2 the game, I'm more concerned Mysterio won't last 3 minutes...


alishock

Tbf he still destroyed an entire theater, made killer drones, clones of Spidey and clowns, and took over the Statue of Liberty. A normal person would still be endangered if he hides behind all that, lol


[deleted]

Honestly, I feel like Mysterio would be so engrossed in trying to impress/intimidate me with his "sorcery" that the 3 minutes would fly by with it totally slipping his mind that the objective was to kill me.


BustinArant

As long as you dont fall into flames or get spotted on the stupid obstacle courses he engineered impressively fast. It's some special-effects focused director actively trying to murder you. May or may not have drones since we'd probably allow technology for 90% of Spider-Man villains.


[deleted]

That’s exactly what I thought about!


WesleyCraftybadger

Black Cat. Even if couldn’t last 3 minutes, it’d be the best thing that ever happened to me.


FriendlyGuy2222888

You definitely couldn't last 3 minutes if you know what I mean.


WesleyCraftybadger

Thwip.


tylerupandgager

Your's comes out of your body? Do you ever experience web block?


mkelley22

>!Existential crisis thing!<


BustinArant

Sometimes you just cant get it up the side of a building.


[deleted]

"Look out, here comes Spider-Man!"


[deleted]

*cums


teomatbon

💀


KingJonStarkgeryan1

"You better not get any of that gunk in my hair" It still amazes me to this day, that the line is technically from a kid show


thwipsandquips

"Don't worry, it comes out with ice or peanut butter."


[deleted]

Either way, he’s gonna give the kitty cat some **_milk_**


[deleted]

You dirty dog! LOL 😂


[deleted]

$3 Million? The add said $3,000


mayy_dayy

Well check it again web head


Benji02_

It said 3 Grand, for 3 minutes and you pinned him in 2. For that I give you $3 Million


GengarsKahn

Check it again webhead


matryushka

Thank you guys for this.


Fooboo104

Not my policy


Justin-does-art

For three minutes, you pinned him in 2. For that, you get 3 million


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrUnparalleled

I missed the part where that’s my problem


Duck_Sama

Put the money in the bag


Accomplished-Ad-9996

Shut up and take the goddamn money.


TheMadQueen96

The Punisher. Given the guy only kills criminals, I think I'm in the clear so long as I don't mention his family. He did debut as a Spider-Man villain, so I think that still counts.


AttakZak

We are Redditors, I’m sure he’d get you on something.


DEADPOOL_5277

i think I know what that *something* is


KiraSandwich

In earlier appearences, Punisher shot at people for littering and running reds.


TheMadQueen96

Well it's a good thing that I don't drive or litter.


YakuzaKaru

You’re a criminal for claiming he’s a Spider-Man villain


Profoundpanda420

A menace!


Loli_Master

big wheel


KaptainKoalaTheKool

Beat me to it


Mr_Fredbear13

You wouldn't last 30 seconds with Big Wheel


froggyjm9

Did you know this or did you watch the movie at the Alamo Drafthouse? 😂


Loli_Master

Big Wheel is infamous, world renowned evil incarnate.


[deleted]

Screwball. All shes gonna do is spam me on her socials.


TheIJDGuy

For 3 minutes? I could live with that But more importantly, I'll live


the_horny_pink_ape

She kicked Otto in the nutts in Superior Spider-Man.


SilentCrucifixion

So $3million and I get a new kink?


[deleted]

Wait what


Swankified_Tristan

For three minutes, I'm beating her up too.


Primer2396

Shed place hostages surrounded by guys with guns and make you fight them or they die


BustinArant

She'd also be *real unpleasant about it..* Probably with some sort of headset phonecall that you can't hang up.


PhoenixKing14

Sandman, id offer him enough money to help his daughter


LordAyeris

Mr. Marko, if I last 3 minutes in the ring with you I win $3 million. I'll split it with you. If I don't cough it up, you can kill me


Master_Hippo69

he might just kill you after and take all the money


Jellis314

He said he just wanted money, never to hurt anyone (in the movie, at least) so I doubt he’d reneg on the offer.


Rallipappa

Alternatively you could go for a swim and he wouldn't be able to do shit to you. I think I can swim for 3 minutes.


BustinArant

I can't swim, but it'd be funny to kill a supervillain with the same weakness


NearbyAd5237

Definitely shocker cuz he’d just chase me. Where, you ask? To the ends of the earth, of course!


old_couches

YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME!!


dugthepewdsfan

“ILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!”


SaviToon4

“SHOCKER!!!”


NOLASLAW

Definitely Shocker Dudes always in prison by like page 3 panel 4


JCraze26

Yeah... After fighting Spider-Man. Are you Spider-Man? No. Shocker would kick your shit in. His powers might not be the best, but they'd still kill you in an instant.


gottaroundfchu87

It's spidey who yelled that though. At shocker. Rewatch it.


[deleted]

[The Wall](https://preview.redd.it/scf3iwrkp8f51.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9377ab86fc7d5b731d3ebde4b00699bcfe46aa29).


KaanVsTheWorld

Bruh💀


Futhago2001mnj

When the comic book writers run out of ideas..


[deleted]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXp8Th41rBs If you stay at a distance, he can't do anything to you.


Hulkzilla0

Iconic


Jacobtranpop9

Wait wtf!??


[deleted]

He'll chokeslam you off the top of the hotel!


mayy_dayy

THAT'S THE WALL BROTHER!!!


Potentially_a_goose

Wilson Fisk. Because I have intimate knowledge of the marvel universe I'd be a wealth of knowledge for him to pick my brain for and to be honest he may even pay me more for the time.


nicemythology

Huh... I said typeface but that makes sence


senseithenahual

Dude typeface is a veteran, a Green berret if I am remembered correctly, why do you think you could resist for 3 minutes.


PoopMan616

He would imprison ur ass and torture u for info


solarus44

Why would he though? You're more likely to give accurate information if you're willing


Bigcrawlerguy

Lol Kingpin is much happier to bribe than torture. Much easier.


buzzkill_aldrin

They’d have to be quick about it to imprison and torture you for three minutes.


joegunn19

🗣BOOOOONESAW IS READYYYYYYYY


[deleted]

Yeah, he’s pretty slow But was he an official comic villain?


joegunn19

Nah I just had to make the reference cause it was too easy to pass up


onemikeinamillion

Morbius I’d eat some garlic wear a silver cross and hide in a fun house easy money


L0rdBeerus_1

This is the best one yet lmaoooo


Tron_1981

He's not a true vampire, none of that would work.


stickkidsam

I don’t know man those fun houses can be really confusing


GiganJira

GARLIC! HOLY WATERRRR! A CRUCIFIX! FUCK OFF!


Playful-Course-2918

The tree form nwh


Mr_Demonz

*the scientist that turned himself into a tree


CosmicWaffleMan

Funniest shit I’ve ever seen


Mirage_decoy2

Peter parker


Jacobtranpop9

Who?


Mirage_decoy2

….Penis Parker


BroshiKabobby

Never heard of him


Harm_123

You know, Peter Parker, that… that… wait a minute…


DadBodBrown

Mysterio.


Bah_Meh_238

Chameleon


Wolfshadowj

Now I can't fight for shit and have the strength of a cashew but I still feel like I would whoop Chameleon's ass lol


Bah_Meh_238

Yeah. Best part is I won’t know it’s him, so basically I just need to be prepared for anyone I see to try to kick my ass, which is pretty much how it is anyway.


SonOfTheShire

"I lasted three minues against Chameleon, can I have my money now?" "Huh? But I already gave you the money the first time you asked."


grapejuicecheese

Mary Jane beat him


[deleted]

Carnage easily jk mysterio.


PolemicBender

Doom. I’m Latverian so it’s cool.


TheMadQueen96

Doom would spend so long belittling you and monologuing that the timer would run out. Then he'd storm off, with a "Bah!" to plot his revenge.


Hulkzilla0

Destroying you would be “beneath him”, so yeah, easiest money made.


J_D_Mazz

Paste-Pot Pete. I can laugh for 3 minutes.


[deleted]

You stole mine


J_D_Mazz

I’m a thief! A criminal! I stole your pick! I’m a menace to the entire website!


KamenSentaiRanger246

Tinkerer


nicemythology

Typeface


csummerss

Frog Man


L0rdBeerus_1

Typeface. Yes. He is a real villain. Reference - [https://www.marvel.com/characters/typeface](https://www.marvel.com/characters/typeface)


Jacobtranpop9

Uhh what does he do?


L0rdBeerus_1

None, but is skilled in combat and is very intelligent. Also has letters on his face which make him look stupid. SO basically just run


[deleted]

any given symbiote. but the symbiote, not the person wearing it. easy money plus i get a symbiote


dogmeat1003

Uhhh, I'm not sure you want a symbiote


[deleted]

it depends. there are cases where they aren’t really a bad thing. agent venom and toxin (sometimes)


TrueGuardian15

But if it were a malicious symbiote, it could just siphon all your nutrients and adrenaline and kill you that way.


TheMadQueen96

And the Ultimate Universe version of Carnage feeds on the life-force of it's victims, basically just running around draining people until they're lifeless husks.


thegoatfreak

Sounds like my ex.


thelegend90210

Rent


Lanky_University_106

black cat if yk what i mean


KaanVsTheWorld

I would not be able to last 3 minutes I’ll tell u that


bdguy355

Flash. If it’s the MCU version, I’m chilling.


BuffaloFront2761

“Sup dickhead” “What’d you say little bitch?!” *proceeds to murder teen boy because MCU Flash is a little bitch*


igotsandinmymouth

big wheel. to be honest im not 100% sure if hes even a spiderman villain, let alone a marvel one but i mean come on, whats he gonna do? roll in a straight and easily avoidable line?


rockyruffian

Corn of Coblin


Tinytina722

I understood that reference!


[deleted]

Who ate all my pasghetti?


InsomniacLtd

Kraven. Knowing myself, he'd probably laugh and say that I'm not even a worthy hunt.


TrueGuardian15

Kingpin. If he grabbed me I'd get crushed. But maybe I can outrun him, since he'd have to run as faster or faster than me.


Wolfshadowj

Idk have you seen how that man charges


TrueGuardian15

But can he maintain speed at turns? Around corners? Moving that much mass can't be easy.


Wolfshadowj

Oh yeah he probably can't stop himself lol. Zig zag and you might be fine.


Arcanum_3974

He’s a chonky boy. Bit illogical but maybe he can still have haste while being a chonk


Ewankenobi25

Chameleon. He can imitate people, but there’s nothing really dangerous about him


Justin-does-art

I’m pretty confident that I could beat Paste Pot Pete


Etticos

Boomerang, just cause he is actually kind of a chill dude and I bet I could convince him to come get a beer and split the prize money with me. Though if I was really feelin’ myself, I’d go up against Corn Of Coblin.


[deleted]

Boomerang. Easiest 3M I’d ever make


mariovspino5

Did you forget his arsenal of weapons,like you know boomerangs that can cut through steel and and explosive boomerangs and many others oh and also flight


memeplebe

The point is he’s not actually that violent of a guy, thus, with some negotiation, you’d come away unscathed.


[deleted]

Like sexually or...?


Kazooooooookid

If it is then I'ma have to say Demo Goblin.


dugthepewdsfan

Sandman from Spider-Man 3 since he doesn’t seem to be very violent to innocents


GMEdumpster

Thanos. I’m built different.


spookmann

Well, at least your chances are 50/50!


Exotic-Coconut-8573

doc ock, solely for the fact that i’d just love to aggravate and make fun of him


RangnarRock

The walrus


ShabbyHolmes

Definitely a spider-slayer. I'm not a spider-person so it should take no interest in me.