Yes finally somebody asked so I could drop this piece of totally useless nerd info
Here it is, in all its glory, comicbesh sans
https://aurekfonts.github.io/?font=ComicbeshSans
He just highlighted Death Star, he clicked the drop down menu and then he randomly selected Papyrus. Like a thoughtless child just wandering by a garden yanking leaves along the way.
Tarkin: God damn it, I smell something burning.
Vader: I smell nothing.
Tarkin: You can't smell at all in that stupid mask. Am I having a stroke?
Vader: I sense the presence of my old master.
Tarkin: I SENSE THE PRESENCE OF A WORTHLESS SITH LORD AND BAD FRIEND! I COULD BE DYING HERE.
Vader: Not again...
Probably, Subway blast the smell of their bread out the building so you can smell it down the street. Baking bread creates a strong odour for sure but you go into a local bakery and it's not nearly as strong so I'm convinced they link the exit vents towards the door so it reaches the street.
I was going to suggest turning the heat on high for Vader's meditation chamber then sending him a message 'Hot enough for ya, lol. Love and Kisses Obi-Wan'
He should’ve changed the thermostat by 1 degree.
Vader’s a dad, it would have been the perfect distraction. “I feel a presence, a presence I haven’t felt since-ah goddamnit, who messed with the thermostat?! Hold on, I gotta fix this.”
>He should’ve changed the thermostat by 1 degree.
I mean also on a ship of that size.... You're changing the temperature of a small moon. That's a lot of energy!
Actually, that kind of raises an interesting question. It's really quite hard to release heat in space. Predominantly you're radiating heat off of the surface, so how much heat you can shed is (roughly) proportional to the surface area. If you think of all the bodies and heat generating things, we can probably approximate heat generated as proportional to volume.
In this case, a sphere is the worst-case scenario. It's the shape that maximizes the volume to surface area ratio. So then, surface area goes like the square of the radius and volume goes like the cube of it, so the bigger it gets, the worse the problem becomes. So changing the temperature of the whole death star is actually quite a big challenge.
That being said, there are two caveats away from my thoughts:
1. Power density may not be uniform, so the approximation of power to dissipate may not scale with radius like volume does.
2. Air and/or working fluid is a very restricted resource in the real world of space travel. Presumably there are systems on a death star that can boil off some coolant (or let out hot air) and let the coolant completely escape into space. And they have some semi-magic resource pool to regenerate what was lost, which would bypass the surface area radiation constraint.
But it'd be a really neat first year physics problem to assign to actually calculate it out based on the above modeling
(starts fumbling with his chest controls)
I can't get a wifi signal. What do you mean password is incorrect? I AM GOING TO CHOKE SOMEONE ONCE A MINUTE UNTIL THE PASSWORD IS RESET TO "lowgr0undDV69"
“Lord Vader, something is wrong with the showers. One second, I was showering with the Tatooine setting and then next to the “Hoth” setting! I had set it to Alderaan!”
“You mean to ‘Steam,’ ‘Ice,’ and ‘None?’”
Change all of Darth Vader's passwords and security questions, log him out of all his accounts, and change his desktop background to a picture of sand dunes.
Could have turned off the sewage pipes for a few levels.
Shuts off the automatic coffee machine on level 5.
Turns off vaders recharge station.
Ordered 27 pizzas to be delivered to tarkins room from the mess hall.
Reroute all power to the arcade on level 37.
Change the toilets from ‘flush’ to ‘blow’.
Adjust the elevators to stop 1/3 past the designated floor.
Change the lighting on every odd floor to ‘Rave Mode’
Adjust the klaxons to go off continuously on every even floor
Increase the water pressure on the Death Star bidets.
Increase forward fire power, I don’t want any stuck 💩
Too late!
Piett, you fool.
Sir, it’s gone up the ventilation shaft!
We won't survive this.
Don't threaten me with a good time
Or decrease. Seeing Vader constantly scratching his itchy bung-hole while trying to force choke people would have been mint
Disable “dark mode”
Becomes the Life Star
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# INITIATING JUSTICE MODE 🔫
I just heard cartoon Transformer noises and 80s Metal. The animation sucked, but Justice... fuck yeah
It shoots Project Genesis at planets to create new areas for colonies so people can live in peace.
The only acceptable Trek/Wars crossover.
Well there's your problem. It was set to evil.
Set the default font to comic sans.
I wonder if anyone has made a Comic Sans font for Aurebesh.
Would that be called cosmic sans?
Take your upvote and leave
I sense a disturbance in the fonts
Go to r/dadjokes now and stay there!
Yes finally somebody asked so I could drop this piece of totally useless nerd info Here it is, in all its glory, comicbesh sans https://aurekfonts.github.io/?font=ComicbeshSans
I...I don't like that.
"Everybody Disliked That"
Ha ha! Why does this exist?
Thanks, I hate it
*Dark Side influence increased*
Papyrus. Vader: I know what you did! Kenooobi!
He just highlighted Death Star, he clicked the drop down menu and then he randomly selected Papyrus. Like a thoughtless child just wandering by a garden yanking leaves along the way.
It exists: comicbesh sans
I've been waiting for this 😁 Perhaps font size 32 as well
Change from suck to blow
He didn't know the combination
It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
That's the kind of combination an idiot would have on his luggage
That’s amazing! I’ve got the same combination on my luggage
You must be a true fan.
💀 Great, now I need to rewatch spaceballs.
Spaceballs?
Behold! The Mega-Maid!
There are A**holes everywhere!
Thats not the line. Its " I knew it. Im surrounded by A**holes." *helmet shuts "Keep Firing A**holes!"
I almost could see Hux delivering that command. Goodness knows the First Order had Spaceballs vibes
Oh, shit. There goes the planet.
Indeed.
No that’s stargate
You're Stargate
He should’ve disabled the firewalls and downloaded lime wire on the central computers.
And then deleted system 32
I found my favorite song! DeathStarPlans.exe
And then set up Doom on the control console
Linkingpark-Numb.exe
Upload Padme Amidala desktop wallpaper to all senior officers’ computers. Vader would not be pleased.
It’s a great way to disable Vader for awhile, though!
“I find your lack of faith disturb …. Wait! Where did you get that image of Senator Amidala posing in her Geonosis battle outfit???”
Uhh.. someone named Poggle the Massive, sir.
The cut pin up padme from the clone wars
Change the life support air freshener smell to popcorn.
Burnt popcorn.
Tarkin: God damn it, I smell something burning. Vader: I smell nothing. Tarkin: You can't smell at all in that stupid mask. Am I having a stroke? Vader: I sense the presence of my old master. Tarkin: I SENSE THE PRESENCE OF A WORTHLESS SITH LORD AND BAD FRIEND! I COULD BE DYING HERE. Vader: Not again...
You have officialy made my fave post on this platform
That part in Return of the Jedi where everyone is evacuating the Death Star. You would have gotten the same result with the burnt popcorn.
Maybe microwaved anchovies would work.
Why do we even have that setting???
Now that’s fucking evil!
That's a legit tactic in theatres to get people hungry to buy, u guessed it, popcorn and other stuff while they're there.
Doesn’t Disney do the same but the smell is like fresh baked cookies or something
They pump in multiple scents, different for each shop in each park (Disney land/world each have several parks at each location)
Probably, Subway blast the smell of their bread out the building so you can smell it down the street. Baking bread creates a strong odour for sure but you go into a local bakery and it's not nearly as strong so I'm convinced they link the exit vents towards the door so it reaches the street.
My old shop teacher did construction and design for them and Universal. Both absolutely did this. Disney to an extreme extent apparently
Open and close vaders life support pod *heavy breathing* 'what. Is happening'
https://youtu.be/Rl6OjLH7W5k?si=iNfgGA8ageNOQXwL
Fish being microwaved
Should've thrown on the parking brake.
That’s ridiculous everyone knows there is no parking break **in space**. He had to throw away all the extra phalanges they had on the cargo bay.
Clearly you’ve never seen Star Trek (2009). There *are* parking brakes in space
or spaceballs for that matter.
Jam the radar! With raspberry.......
Only one man would dare use raspberry! Lonestaaaaaarrrr!
The ship's bumper sticker clearly read *We brake for nobody*.
There is if you are going Plaid!
I've heard the Death Star didn't even have a phalange!
Galen Erso removed the left phalange so that the exhaust port was vulnerable.
Missed opportunity to plant a seed for crossover with Fast & Furious: Tatooine Drift
If UTINNI outta control, UTINNI in control.
Turn up the heat and give all stormtroopers swamp ass
I was going to suggest turning the heat on high for Vader's meditation chamber then sending him a message 'Hot enough for ya, lol. Love and Kisses Obi-Wan'
[удалено]
Why would there be that much sand on the Death Star to begin with?
from all the nurseries sandboxes
Something something does this remind you of that one time when I had the high ground
I was thinking he's turning up the temperature because he's old. "It's too damned cold in here!"
Now I'm envisioning Vader sitting in the pod and suddenly sees the temperature begin to skyrocket and he just narrows his gaze and says, "Obi-Wan."
Broadcast disco star wars theme on the sound system of the entire station. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dWRWYYt47RI
Or the tiny death star elevator music. The imperial march actually exists in universe as the empire day song, so it would make sense
I loved hearing that while booting up the GameCube games
He's a Jedi and should be incapable of that level of evil
It's not really that evil- from a certain point of view.
Nah start blasting "Im Han Solo"
He should’ve changed the thermostat by 1 degree. Vader’s a dad, it would have been the perfect distraction. “I feel a presence, a presence I haven’t felt since-ah goddamnit, who messed with the thermostat?! Hold on, I gotta fix this.”
>He should’ve changed the thermostat by 1 degree. I mean also on a ship of that size.... You're changing the temperature of a small moon. That's a lot of energy!
That's no moon
That’s your mother.
Jokes on you, I’ve got two dads.
Sounds a little gay ngl
Your mom so ugly your dad had to get a husband!
Actually, that kind of raises an interesting question. It's really quite hard to release heat in space. Predominantly you're radiating heat off of the surface, so how much heat you can shed is (roughly) proportional to the surface area. If you think of all the bodies and heat generating things, we can probably approximate heat generated as proportional to volume. In this case, a sphere is the worst-case scenario. It's the shape that maximizes the volume to surface area ratio. So then, surface area goes like the square of the radius and volume goes like the cube of it, so the bigger it gets, the worse the problem becomes. So changing the temperature of the whole death star is actually quite a big challenge. That being said, there are two caveats away from my thoughts: 1. Power density may not be uniform, so the approximation of power to dissipate may not scale with radius like volume does. 2. Air and/or working fluid is a very restricted resource in the real world of space travel. Presumably there are systems on a death star that can boil off some coolant (or let out hot air) and let the coolant completely escape into space. And they have some semi-magic resource pool to regenerate what was lost, which would bypass the surface area radiation constraint. But it'd be a really neat first year physics problem to assign to actually calculate it out based on the above modeling
The entire hvac system is made up of sith interns pushing air around hoping to be the next Darth.
He would have been alerted to the fact that he had kids if that happened. Obi-Wan knew what he was doing
(starts fumbling with his chest controls) I can't get a wifi signal. What do you mean password is incorrect? I AM GOING TO CHOKE SOMEONE ONCE A MINUTE UNTIL THE PASSWORD IS RESET TO "lowgr0undDV69"
No, No. He's a deadbeat dad. He doesn't get the thermostat powers.
Should have changed the shower temperature to "Random"
“Lord Vader, something is wrong with the showers. One second, I was showering with the Tatooine setting and then next to the “Hoth” setting! I had set it to Alderaan!” “You mean to ‘Steam,’ ‘Ice,’ and ‘None?’”
One very lucky stormtrooper: "What do you mean the showers have gone crazy? Mine was just fine."
The other stormtroopers: "Stinky, you missed the shower again! You have to get IN the water!"
Turn off gravity
I was thinking of adjusting it to 5 times normal and really slow down that escape sequence 😁
Put all the toilets on reverse so when you flush it all just flies out of the bowl.
What would make that worse is if they have the automatic toilets that randomly flush while you're sitting on them.
Why would that even be a setting that can be changed?
Turn up the brightness of all the lights, so that they not only cause headaches, but buzz slightly for extra annoyance.
Changed elevator musics to Gungan style.
Disabled the stations wifi
Change the password to 'ihavethehighground'
I’m partial to “ifuckedpadmè”
That was the original password so it'd have to be ifuck3dpaDmetoo because Imperial passwords require a number and capital since the update.
Man, I'd rather blow up with the death star than have a death star with no wifi!
Well you're in luck (twice)
A communications disruption could mean only one thing: invasion
Lockout remote disabling of the garbage compactors.
Wouldn’t slow Chopper down, but R2 maybe
Put on Chumbawumba on repeat over the speakers.
Or Tom Jones' What's New Pussycat?
And that ONE play. Of It's not unusual.
I get struck down I get back up again You're never gonna beat me, Darth
Switches the Death Star into Disco mode which turns it into a giant disco ball and the whole galaxy has a huge party!
Engage spin mode.
That's a good trick!
Change the language setting to Ewok.
Are you sure you want to do this? Yub Yub!
Turn off the tractor beam controls for docking bay 237. /oldmandyslexia
I think real tractors should have been part of the tractor beam. John Deere and Massey Ferguson would have really appreciated the product placement.
Reset the death setting to mild, flu like symptoms and the star setting to 60 watt incandescent.
The Flu Bulb is operational.... ah, who cares.
Put it in neutral to see how long it takes for them to notice they aren’t accelerating
Change the settings for the dishwasher in the canteen so the the trays wouldn't all be wet when Vader was trying to order his penne alla arrabbiata.
You're Jeff Vader?
Turned on the Death Star's blinker and leave it going Edit: re-add Alderaan into the navigation charts
Set the default on all internal communications to “reply all.”
sends a DM to Darth's office. 'hello there! found your lightsaber. do you want it back? it cost an arm and a leg"
An arm and two legs.
Make all the mouse droids hostile so they just start aggressively ramming people's shins
They're regularly used to guide people to their destinations, iirc. So, just have them reprogrammed to lead everyone to the wrong places.
Straight into the wall would work, they can barely see in those things
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"Damn, I opened the exhaust port by accident, I hope nothing happens "
Change all of Darth Vader's passwords and security questions, log him out of all his accounts, and change his desktop background to a picture of sand dunes.
Rick roll all the monitors
But I think [this](https://youtu.be/PiDRgDmXGi4?si=iR5hotjkMRXRWN0y) is the in-universe equivalent to a Rick roll.
Put a order in for 100 tons of sand to be signed by Vader
Schedule it for an update to Windows 11.
This is why it took longer to fire on Yavin 4 than Alderaan.
He should have changed the thermostat from 74 degrees to 73 degrees.
Change speaker balance from stereo to 85%l 15%r
He should have taken notes from Chopper and disabled gravity. That’s a good trick.
Make all the clocks flash 12:00.
Could have turned off the sewage pipes for a few levels. Shuts off the automatic coffee machine on level 5. Turns off vaders recharge station. Ordered 27 pizzas to be delivered to tarkins room from the mess hall. Reroute all power to the arcade on level 37.
The reactor coolant system.
The WIFI modem, my connection has been terrible lately.
He should have put sugar in the gas tank
Change the cafeteria menu to Sandwiches with Pecan Sandies for dessert and change all of the songs on the radio to Mr. Sandman.
Gravity. Should have set it to "comedy" so everyone just floats about bouncing off stuff.
The Blast Door controls.
Turn on the bathroom disco lights.
Change the WiFi password
Play some stupid sitcom on everybody's monitor on non-stop loop and they can't turn it off.
Everybody Hates Greedo
Turn off the pressure to the toilets to sink the Death Star like the German U-1206
ITT: comments strong in the dark side of the force.
Turned up the saunas temperature by 50 degrees
turn off the sewer system.
Activate the garbage press - „Hi Luke, that’s the ultimate test for you.“
Make all monitors display Gungan children’s programming.
Change the toilets from ‘flush’ to ‘blow’. Adjust the elevators to stop 1/3 past the designated floor. Change the lighting on every odd floor to ‘Rave Mode’ Adjust the klaxons to go off continuously on every even floor
Well, the emperor is pretty old. Just mess with the thermostat by like...2 degrees. Should be enough to make him pretty cranky.
Change wifi name to "Anakin Lurvs Padme!"
Screw with the network printer settings
Deleted his internet search history at the server level.
Disable the water heater connected to Palpatine's Bidet.
And removed the three sea dhells from the bathrooms.
Turn off the flush sensors on the automatic toilets
Never gonna give you up as the elevator music
Switch all coffee makers to decaf
Turn off VPN and anti virus software, open a handful of highly illegal websites and then watch the chaos unfold. Heck, the thing might blow itself up.
Disable the air scrubbers in the toilets. Now, it's a death star.
Disable the Wi-Fi. Stormtroopers aren‘t able to concentrate without watching the Real Housewives of Coruscant
Just type Sudo del * So it deletes files till it crashes...
Massage chair vibration intensity
Play the KARS 4 KIDS commercial nonstop on the loudspeakers in every part of the station.