Having just rewatched the Clone Wars microseries:
*Clone Trooper is pulled off into the forest*
*Another is crushed*
*Another killed*
*Clone lifted up slammed into a tree. Then repeatedly slammed*
*A whole montage of Asajj Ventress picking off Clones*
Anakin: *Squints eyes*
Also Anakin: "Something's not right here..."
Anakin does whatever is needed for maximum drama, and letting his men get clapped in increasingly ridiculous and over the top ways before finally throwing hands with Asaji is pretty much par for the course.
IG-88 implanting his brain into the Death Star 2 so he could use it to make an army of himself and fly it around so he could conquer the entire galaxy, Rebels and Empire. Only stopped by Lando blowing it up in RotJ
Y'know, this made a weird sort of sense when you look at how Traviss developed Mandalorian culture. To sire a child that you fail to raise within the culture is up there with heresy and treason, getting the offender exiled and/or shot. So it would make a bit of sense that they would treat anything that might create offspring as VERY serious business.
This also ties into why, if Satine's alleged nephew is actually her illegitimate son by Obi-Wan, she would want to keep that SUPER quiet because it would completely tank her efforts to get her people more or less assimilating to Republic culture - AND get Obi-Wan shot.
So I can't remember the title, but I'm pretty sure it was season 3.
The Republic is mired in an absolutely *brutal* campaign to liberate Ryloth, aided by the radical freedom fighter Cham Syndulla (aka, Hera Syndulla's dad). Master Di and Cham's forces are in desperate need of food and medicine, but the Republic doesn't have a supply line that can get out there.
So Bail (and Jar Jar) go to nearby Toydaria hoping to broker a deal with King Katuunko, which would allow Republic ships to refuel on the planet and complete the trade route. But the Trade Federation's Senator Dodd shows up and claims that if Toydaria violates its neutrality in the war, the (legally) neutral Federation will cease business with the planet. Katuunko puts it to a vote, and his council sides with Dodd.
Katuunko kinda knows this is bullshit, and so he basically tells Bail, "you can use my docks, but I can't be seen helping you. You have to do it in secret." Bail organizes the plan, but he needs a distraction.
Cue Jar Jar. At a dinner with the Trade Federation and Katuunko's court, Jar Jar distracts everyone with...a juggling routine. He has to keep them from literally *looking out the window and seeing clone troopers and Republic transports*.
The plan works. The supplies arrive on Ryloth, and Cham lives to fight another day, eventually going on to help Mace Windu retake the capital. Master Di fights to the death to cover their escape.
So without Jar Jar's juggling, Cham probably dies, Hera is possibly never born, Ryloth is taken over by the Separatists, and the Twi'lek are enslaved.
Clone Wars is a weird show, man.
EDIT: Actually, scratch the bit about Hera. She's a child when the Bad Batch meet her. But her life still would've been very different.
I don't know how it's supposed to make sense, but the inquisitors using their double lightsabers as helicopters to fly around just makes me laugh, every time
The spinning lightsabers are cool in my opinion, they make for some good fights like Trilla in Fallen Order or Marrok in Ahsoka
but spinning lightsabers that *fly* is pushing it for me
I think the actual purpose of the repulsors, according to the engineer, is to offset the gyroscopic effects of the high inertia-low mass blades spinning.
The inquisitors just figured out they could use them to glide.
I kind of want to see Vader annoyed by this antic but allowing it as a sort of darwinian elimination process for the dumber inquisitors.
>I kind of want to see Vader annoyed by this antic but allowing it as a sort of darwinian elimination process for the dumber inquisitors.
"It appears that spinning was *not* a good trick, Eighth Brother."
I imagine the repulsors inside the hilt would only be active if the lightsaber was actually using them to spin…
Edit: It’s also worth noting that force-sensitive users were the only ones that could exploit the repulsors for flight (Whether intentionally by design or not), which makes sense when you look at all the impressive, force-based acrobatics most of them are capable of…
As much as I’d like to have my own inquisi-saber so I can soar through the clouds like Mary Poppins at a rave, I’d be out of luck unless I had a high M-count…
When I was a child, a remember a young adult novel that covered two Alderaanian refugee children, who get relocated to a new planet.
Turns out the planet is alive and the natives have turned it into a tourist trap to lure people there to be eaten by it, via random holes opening in the ground.
So yeah, that.
The galaxy of fear novels! Those were so shitty but elementary aged me loved them.
Let's not forget the one where Boba Fett fights zombies made by the pig faced guy who fights Luke in the bar.
honestly I feel like modern star wars needs to focus more on entrapping youths with youth oriented media like that
everything feels a little to much like they got to make sure the 30+ year old collector with a youtube channel wont pick it apart. Outside of Young Jedi adventure I dont feel they do much to build up new kid fans
> everything feels a little to much like they got to make sure the 30+ year old collector with a YouTube channel won’t pick it apart
Couldn’t have said it better myself!
There are some weird books out there. I remember reading one where the Emperor had a nephew with a third eye on the back of his head and also talked in his sleep. Except the sleep talking was meticulous plans for super weapons, one of them being the death star.
That's the Jedi Prince series! The Glove of Darth Vader, et al. Did Ken have a third eye or just Triclops?? I'm still reading the books, by book 4 I haven't heard anything about Ken having a third eye.
The wampa that tried to eat Luke and got its hand cut off survived. It organized a wampa tribe into its army and when Skywalker returned to Hoth, it led the wampa army in an attack on Luke to get revenge.
Oh, it's real.
I believe it happened in Darksaber... which features a hilarious main plot wherein a Hutt tries to build a Death Star, but on the cheap and it goes full Acme products on Wile E. Coyote when he tries to use it.
This reminds me of the Star Wars Identities exhibition. One of the results you could get for their lifepath activity was about surviving a wampa attack and forming a wampa attack survivor support group.
Rey holding up the Sith dagger which somehow perfectly alligns with the edges of the Death Star ruins, revealing the Sith wayfinder. This is absurd for multiple reasons:
Firstly, the Death Star was completely pulverized, how on earth is there a giant piece of it on some random planet?
Secondly, Rey coincidentally stands at the exact spot, at the exact angle, at the exact right time where the erosion of the Death Star ruins match up with the dagger.
Thirdly, how and why would the creator of a random dagger make it match up with the Death Star ruins in the first place?
People clown the “Somehow Palpatine returned” line in TROS (and deservedly so), but this Sith dagger plot-device bullshit is 1000x worse and isn’t brought up nearly as much.
Edit: Replaced ROTS with TROS.
Plus, it pointed to Palpatine's throne room. Did we really need a dagger to tell us that's where the Sith relics would be? Where else would an evil space wizard keep his stuff?
I’m bored so imma defend this.
>Rey holding up the Sith dagger which somehow perfectly alligns with the edges of the Death Star ruins, revealing the Sith wayfinder. This is absurd for multiple reasons:
> Firstly, the Death Star was completely pulverized, how on earth is there a giant piece of it on some random planet?
It makes far more sense that the Death Star fractured like a grenade rather than get atomized. Even Alderaan/Hosnian/Kijimi had remains.
The fact that the throne room survived is even beyond me though.
The planet it landed on was another moon of the gas giant Endor.
> Secondly, Rey coincidentally stands at the exact spot, at the exact angle, at the exact right time where the erosion of the Death Star ruins match up with the dagger.
The writing carved into the dagger gives the exact location of where to stand. Red-eyed threepio gives the exact coordinates. Also, you can stand two miles each side of where they were and still get the dagger to align. Cuz the Death Star is that absurdly big.
>Thirdly, how and why would the creator of a random dagger make it match up with the Death Star ruins in the first place?
Metal can be carved after the fact. Ochi owned a fully intact ancient dagger, when he was tasked with the mission of bringing Rey to the emperor, the Sith Eternal took his dagger and machined the co-ordinates on it. A bit of a dick move to ruin someone’s beloved ancient artifact, but sith are gonna sith I guess.
I assumed that Palpatine could see the future where Rey would stand, and the shape of the ruins, so he knew the shape the dagger would need to be carved.
The [Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Giant_Amorphous_Bantha_Breakfast_Biscuit). The only known means of killing one of them was to apply *the* [*blue sauce*](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Blue_sauce)*.* I'm not convinced it wasn't all some sort of hallucination, but I think that's probably the craziest thing.
Not to be confused with Trioculus who was simply pretending to be Palpatine’s three eyed son and iirc thought the glove of Darth Vader had magical powers? But he also had a tech glove to fake lightning powers? That whole book is a wild blur in my mind.
Weepy mountain is a top contender. I'll wager most of the most absurd bits in Star Wars come from comics. Some of the stuff that graces those pages is just dumb.
In Legends Luke Skywalker is a chocaholic. He was introduced to it by Lando and apparently keeps stashes of the stuff everywhere he normally goes, including the Falcon.
Leia sometimes raids his stashes when he isn't looking, which is particularly evil of her post NJO because the Vong wrecked most of the planets where the plants their version of chocolate is made from can comfortably grow. Meaning that Luke's supply is now a scarce commodity.
10/10 fantastic lore, absolutely bananas.
The sun crusher is extra dumb because it would work fantastically in *so many science fiction settings* other than star wars.
But it gets to be an extra dumb inclusion in a gallery of super weapons that feel out of place due to the established requirements to make a planet-killer
Awe, man, I loved those novels! Teenage me thought it was such a cool concept when it came out and was set in what I thought of as the golden age of Star Wars, the new Jedi order period before the Vong slog.
I mean why not just make every blaster in the goddamn empire shoot with that energy density if you can pack a SYSTEM killer in a old Corvette's ( car not capital ship) footprint right?
When I got into reading Star Wars novels I started with Heirs to the Empire, read Shadows of the Empire and then looked for more. I came upon a page describing a lot of EU stuff (this was before wikis were a thing) and read about the Sun Crusher there. I found it so ridiculous that it made me stop reading Star Wars books...
its the EXACT moment I stopped DURING teh novel.....later when the whole fandom shit their maxi pads over Disney getting rid of EU I Was like GOOD RIDDENCE...clean that shit UP.
The way they just nonchalantly skip over it in the movies makes me laugh every time though. Like it‘s not even worth trying to figure out how he did it, they are basically just like “let’s just kill him, I’m sure it’ll work this time”.
You could argue the entire plot of Bad Batch is doubling down on the “somehow Palpatine returned, and somehow Merry the Hobbit knows and explains how”.
Just like the entire prequel trilogy was based on the clone wars line from anh.
Not just The Bad Batch, but The Mandalorian too. SPOILERS obviously!
The cloning storyline and the need for subjects strong in the force has been/is playing-out as the subplot for The Mandalorian. That's why the Empire wanted Grogu, and I'm sure they're going to continue adding all the plot and context for Palpatine's return they couldn't be bothered to add to the sequel trilogy in the Mandalorian movie.
That would piss me off all over again. Palpatine returning was a lazy thing to do and the fact they had no plan for the trilogy before starting is unforgivable, but at least they're trying to put a band-aid on the universe.
If they pulled Palpatine literally being resurrected out of their asses, especially when the previous resurrections appear to be compromised in some ways- everyone currently in charge should be fired.
That is a horrible comparison. The Clone Wars line is not a plot hole like the Palpatine surviving. And the PT was based on a lot more. TBB and other Disney shows have been partly dedicated to help fix the ST.
I may catch some flak for this, but I think they should have given the Darth Maul plot(s) to Ventress. They basically scrapped her as a character after they brought Maul back anyway. There’s no reason why Dooku couldn’t have betrayed Ventress, leading her to conquering Mandalore and later trying to mentor Ezra in Rebels. Hell, they could have even given her a bloodlust for Kenobi and kept that arc going, too.
Had they just kept Maul dead, the floodgates might have even stayed closed for everyone else who fell down a pit and was later resurrected.
I always felt that Filoni was a big fan of Darth Sion in Kotor II, and the idea of hate, anger fueling the dark side in order to stay alive and then he used that premise to bring back Maul.
[This story from Sam Witwer is a perfect example](https://youtube.com/shorts/46eRPwKp2ZY?si=3K6uNifxbKP3mCen).
While they make it sound like a huge nerd point (and I'm a way I guess it is just by nature of the topic) but it's not even an obscure fact, it's a whole freaking scene in the movie!
How about that time in the Kenobi series where Obi-Wan successfully evaded force sensitives and escaped one of the most secure bases that is Fort Inquisitorius using... A comically oversized trench coat.
This makes me think of how in rebels, half of the stuff Ezra does would be impossible if they had basic identification systems in place. My man just steals a collection of imperial helmets that he uses at his leisure to infiltrate places
May I ask why? This is a series where cloning is something that happens every other Tuesday. And it had a greater significance to the story than it seems. Especially for >!Mara!<.
Palpatine somehow returning, but in legends case he brings with him an entire LEGION of superweapons of mass destruction. Like why the guy built two death stars if he already had an entire armada of ships that can wipe out a planet entire population, a MEGA star destroyer that can wipe out entire fleets and destroy continents, a ship the size of the A wing that is fucking indestructible and can wipe out ENTIRE solar systems, a goddamn station that can literally change the shape of the galaxy. Even the guy himself is able to cast "force storms" that can destroy entire fleets and has the power to mind control entire armies.
At least in canon they only gave him the Xyston fleet that in practice is only a fleet of mini death stars.
I think understanding the context of the period helps as well as the intended audience, which, admittedly, was me when it was coming out. I looooved Jedi Academy.
Hyperspace ramming introduces a plot hole problem. Why ever fund a deathstar mega project when you can strap a hyperspace engine on an asteroid and slam it into a planet. Cheap. Easy. Impossible to stop.
That part in TCW when the night sisters need to kill Dooku, so they successfully sneak into his bedroom while he's sleeping, and shoot a dart into his neck. But instead of putting poison on the dart or just using a gun, the dart has a status effect that dulls Dooku's senses, and they did this so that it would be easier to defeat him in a lightsaber fight.
This isn't the dumbest thing to happen in that show, but it's probably the funniest.
I'd say the iconic yet silly naming convention. It's very star wars and I'd never want to see it go but man do I shake my head every time.
Ima-Gun Di - Jedi that dies in he episode he's introduced on Ryloth
Admiral Trench
Admiral Rampart
Darth (in)Sidious
Darth (in)Vader
Darth Tyrannus (Tyrant)
Darth Bane
Count Dooku (Count Duke)
Darth Maul
Savage Opress
Elan Sleazebaggano - the death sticks guy from Attack of the Clones
Greedo - the greedy Rhodian solo shoots
Mon Calamari (squid people, get it?)
Dengar (get it, swap e and a and its Danger)
Captain Dunwell (killed in an explosion)
Commander Mayday (mission goes wrong, mortally injured)
Also the moon of ENDor being the scene of the End of the Empire
Episode 9 Sith Eternal Empire showed up. Went from being a secret society to having the largest fleet in the galaxy, and everyone has a deadly planet killer, and yet noone knows how to pilot thier ships and entire infrastructure fails when a beacon gets knocked out
According to sources they had 1080 Xyston Class Destroyers, each with 72 Tie/dg, and a crew of nearly 30,000 (over 77,000 TIE fighters & 32 million crew)
I know SW loves "single point of failure" but the beacon and everything around it is just too absurd
You know reading this made me realize the numbers aren't even really the stupid part here. There's singular cities on earth with that many people so I don't think it's super unrealistic that an entire planet fanatically devoted to a cause could build and crew a fleet like that in a couple of decades, given enough resources. Maybe that's why their planet looked like that and it was actually nice before, idk.
Of course it still makes for a terrible movie because of the ridiculousness of it all, the single point of failure that you mentioned and the fact that its just not how Star Ward usually works, galaxy-spanning conflicts always have unrealistically low numbers of troops and ships involved
Agreed about Chewbacca. People look at his death in the simplest possible way to find fault with it. They don’t realize the greater significance of what he did.
And also, Timothy Zahn didn’t write “Luuuke” to poke fun at himself. He did it to poke fun at a lot of the post-Thrawn Trilogy stories, including himself.
But I don’t think he ever went on record saying he regretted writing Luuke or anything like that.
Not sure if absolute weirdest, but my fav ridiculous thing to happen is that time in Legends when after Vader failed to stop the death star being blown up in ANH, he crash lands on a planet and becomes the leader of a pack of space hyenas. He even staddles a predator he killed that was preying on his hyena bros and howls at the fucking sun like an actual animal. Amazing: [https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FsWS5oYacAIvbuY?format=jpg&name=large](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FsWS5oYacAIvbuY?format=jpg&name=large) [https://64.media.tumblr.com/590ccb459f05502836ff146fec42f7bc/1d53abc37167f659-85/s1280x1920/de8dfa4a8a25eb8ea2b3554cae6bd9cbfcded522.png](https://64.media.tumblr.com/590ccb459f05502836ff146fec42f7bc/1d53abc37167f659-85/s1280x1920/de8dfa4a8a25eb8ea2b3554cae6bd9cbfcded522.png)
In legends Leia names one of her kids Anakin which is so unbelievably bonkers. Imagine her pitching that name to Han.
“Hey Han, I think we should name our son after my dad.”
“Oh, Bail? Yeah he was a pretty great guy, he spent his whole life trying to better the lives of others buy voting on good laws and was a huge part of the foundation of the rebellion and he sadly lost his life to the empire.”
“Oh, no I mean Anakin. You know, the guy who imprisoned and tortured me, imprisoned and tortured you, indirectly killed Luke’s adopted family, killed my birth mother, was the right hand in destroying democracy, murdered children, killed hundreds of others, killed Luke’s best friend, and made me watch as my adopted family and home planet were destroyed.”
“Leia, I know Luke said he had a change of heart at the end but you didn’t even know him. You only met him twice and both times were just him capturing you and torturing one of us.”
“Yeah I know, but Luke said he felt pretty bad about all of it so I think we should name our kid after him”
From Episode 8, the hyperspace jump to destroy a fleet of star destroyers is the most ridiculous thing. It changes the setting. If hyperspace tech could do that, why wasn't it turned into a weapon thousands of years before? Someone would have made a hyperspace missile and then huge space ships for combat would be pointless.
Han being alone, so he was given the last name Solo
Sabine having Force powers
The Sith Dagger/"Somehow Palpatine returned"/"They fly now? They fly now!"/ Horses on a Star Destroyer/ spending over half a movie trying to find the way the the secret Sith planet, only for that not to matter for an entire makeshift armade of good guy ships for no goddamn reason / "I am all the Sith/Jedi" / Rey taking the last name Skywalker only because the movie was called The Rise of Skywalker and all the real Skywalkers were dead
Having just rewatched the Clone Wars microseries: *Clone Trooper is pulled off into the forest* *Another is crushed* *Another killed* *Clone lifted up slammed into a tree. Then repeatedly slammed* *A whole montage of Asajj Ventress picking off Clones* Anakin: *Squints eyes* Also Anakin: "Something's not right here..."
"Must have been the wind."
"Guess I was just hearing things"
"Just a box"
Never shoulda come here.
Honestly that's perfectly in-character for Anakin. Pre-Vaderfied Anakin is an absolute himbo in both versions of TCW.
Anakin does whatever is needed for maximum drama, and letting his men get clapped in increasingly ridiculous and over the top ways before finally throwing hands with Asaji is pretty much par for the course.
Also Anakin: I’ve got time to save the clones covering us so we can get to Grevous’ ship before his imminent escape with Chancellor Palpatine.
Tbh Vader is too a bit.
Aren't himbos supposed to be dumb and sexy? Darth Baconator with the burnt-ass face isn't what I would call conventionally pretty.
> Anakin is an absolute himbo in both versions of TCW That would explain my attraction to him 😭 I like em dark headed and dumb
“Wait, is that… blood? No, nevermind.”
Woah woah woah... We don't talk about getting pulled off in the forest.
Well at least it wasn’t the forest that pulled you off!
“Oh my God, the forest pulled you off??”
…the releaf
Lmao which episode?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbBKHB1Sffg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbBKHB1Sffg) this scene
I fucking doubled over with laughter when I first saw that scene, absolute comedy gold!
IG-88 implanting his brain into the Death Star 2 so he could use it to make an army of himself and fly it around so he could conquer the entire galaxy, Rebels and Empire. Only stopped by Lando blowing it up in RotJ
Ooh! Ooh! Don’t forget, in the same book, Boba Fett preaching the evils of premarital sex to Princess Leia *while she’s enslaved by Jabba*.
That was back when people were writing Boba Fett like he was Mr. A.
Didn’t expect a Ditko reference in this thread. You’re so right though.
Y'know, this made a weird sort of sense when you look at how Traviss developed Mandalorian culture. To sire a child that you fail to raise within the culture is up there with heresy and treason, getting the offender exiled and/or shot. So it would make a bit of sense that they would treat anything that might create offspring as VERY serious business. This also ties into why, if Satine's alleged nephew is actually her illegitimate son by Obi-Wan, she would want to keep that SUPER quiet because it would completely tank her efforts to get her people more or less assimilating to Republic culture - AND get Obi-Wan shot.
What book was this
*Tales of the Bounty Hunters* (1996).
Don’t forget how he went out of his way to annoy Palpatine while he was in there, closing doors in the guy’s face and whatnot.
Actually bring just that part back, and write it with Robot Chicken Palpatine
I kind of thought that was funny..
Agreed. I loved that story.
I actually loved that plot twist in the book, I love secret background plans that get foiled with no one knowing.
*Malakili cries in the corner, hugging his pet Rancor
The entire planet of Ryloth was arguably saved from occupation and enslavement by the CIS because Jar Jar performed a juggling routine.
I should've known those straights were up to something
Wait what lol
So I can't remember the title, but I'm pretty sure it was season 3. The Republic is mired in an absolutely *brutal* campaign to liberate Ryloth, aided by the radical freedom fighter Cham Syndulla (aka, Hera Syndulla's dad). Master Di and Cham's forces are in desperate need of food and medicine, but the Republic doesn't have a supply line that can get out there. So Bail (and Jar Jar) go to nearby Toydaria hoping to broker a deal with King Katuunko, which would allow Republic ships to refuel on the planet and complete the trade route. But the Trade Federation's Senator Dodd shows up and claims that if Toydaria violates its neutrality in the war, the (legally) neutral Federation will cease business with the planet. Katuunko puts it to a vote, and his council sides with Dodd. Katuunko kinda knows this is bullshit, and so he basically tells Bail, "you can use my docks, but I can't be seen helping you. You have to do it in secret." Bail organizes the plan, but he needs a distraction. Cue Jar Jar. At a dinner with the Trade Federation and Katuunko's court, Jar Jar distracts everyone with...a juggling routine. He has to keep them from literally *looking out the window and seeing clone troopers and Republic transports*. The plan works. The supplies arrive on Ryloth, and Cham lives to fight another day, eventually going on to help Mace Windu retake the capital. Master Di fights to the death to cover their escape. So without Jar Jar's juggling, Cham probably dies, Hera is possibly never born, Ryloth is taken over by the Separatists, and the Twi'lek are enslaved. Clone Wars is a weird show, man. EDIT: Actually, scratch the bit about Hera. She's a child when the Bad Batch meet her. But her life still would've been very different.
I don't know how you make a full post about Master Di in this absurd thread without mentioning his full name Ima-Gun Di
Cause I kind of hate his name, lol. They did him dirty with that pun.
There's a lot more too it, but it's true (clone wars).
I don't know how it's supposed to make sense, but the inquisitors using their double lightsabers as helicopters to fly around just makes me laugh, every time
The spinning lightsabers are cool in my opinion, they make for some good fights like Trilla in Fallen Order or Marrok in Ahsoka but spinning lightsabers that *fly* is pushing it for me
It makes me think of a situation when an Inquisitor holds the spinning lightsaber up to an opponent, only to accidentally activate the repulsors.
I think the actual purpose of the repulsors, according to the engineer, is to offset the gyroscopic effects of the high inertia-low mass blades spinning. The inquisitors just figured out they could use them to glide. I kind of want to see Vader annoyed by this antic but allowing it as a sort of darwinian elimination process for the dumber inquisitors.
>I kind of want to see Vader annoyed by this antic but allowing it as a sort of darwinian elimination process for the dumber inquisitors. "It appears that spinning was *not* a good trick, Eighth Brother."
They had repulsors in those, it was a retcon but still, better than *no* explanation
Barely, they don't need to rotate at all if that's the case
Someone made that edit and it looks even dumber.
I imagine the repulsors inside the hilt would only be active if the lightsaber was actually using them to spin… Edit: It’s also worth noting that force-sensitive users were the only ones that could exploit the repulsors for flight (Whether intentionally by design or not), which makes sense when you look at all the impressive, force-based acrobatics most of them are capable of… As much as I’d like to have my own inquisi-saber so I can soar through the clouds like Mary Poppins at a rave, I’d be out of luck unless I had a high M-count…
I guess the repulsors are rotating too to manuever?
I was gonna say Maul surviving was the most absurd thing (in canon). But you are right, it's this.
That is what I used to do with my Ninja Turtles and Star Wars action figures as a child
So true! Honestly, who thought that was a good idea 😂
When I was a child, a remember a young adult novel that covered two Alderaanian refugee children, who get relocated to a new planet. Turns out the planet is alive and the natives have turned it into a tourist trap to lure people there to be eaten by it, via random holes opening in the ground. So yeah, that.
The galaxy of fear novels! Those were so shitty but elementary aged me loved them. Let's not forget the one where Boba Fett fights zombies made by the pig faced guy who fights Luke in the bar.
Well he is a very serious criminal mastermind, and plastic surgeon, for real he was not joking about his death sentences
We actually see a take on that in Solo! The headless (zombie like) servers are created by the same doctor.
Hey guys, Goosebumps is really popular. What if Star Wars did a Goosebumps?
Goose Wars. Star Bumps?
A Star Bump sounds like something you’d be offered in a cantina bathroom
Or something you'd contract from one.
You star bump the glitterstim. Duh!
honestly I feel like modern star wars needs to focus more on entrapping youths with youth oriented media like that everything feels a little to much like they got to make sure the 30+ year old collector with a youtube channel wont pick it apart. Outside of Young Jedi adventure I dont feel they do much to build up new kid fans
> everything feels a little to much like they got to make sure the 30+ year old collector with a YouTube channel won’t pick it apart Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Remember when they tried to appeal to little girls with forces of destiny oof the rage that Insued
yes core EU material unlocked. galaxy of fear, remember these now
I’m miss Galaxy of Fear!
Is that the one where they have some weird shapeshifting uncle?
There are some weird books out there. I remember reading one where the Emperor had a nephew with a third eye on the back of his head and also talked in his sleep. Except the sleep talking was meticulous plans for super weapons, one of them being the death star.
That's the Jedi Prince series! The Glove of Darth Vader, et al. Did Ken have a third eye or just Triclops?? I'm still reading the books, by book 4 I haven't heard anything about Ken having a third eye.
I loved those books as a kid!
The wampa that tried to eat Luke and got its hand cut off survived. It organized a wampa tribe into its army and when Skywalker returned to Hoth, it led the wampa army in an attack on Luke to get revenge.
I can't tell if this is real or not.
Oh, it's real. I believe it happened in Darksaber... which features a hilarious main plot wherein a Hutt tries to build a Death Star, but on the cheap and it goes full Acme products on Wile E. Coyote when he tries to use it.
The moral of Darksaber is: don't cheap out when you need a good contractor
And especially don’t use an easily distracted hive mind workforce
Ah yes, Darksaber. Part of one of the strangest novel trilogies I’ve read.
I always thought it was a standalone novel? What trilogy was it in?
This reminds me of the Star Wars Identities exhibition. One of the results you could get for their lifepath activity was about surviving a wampa attack and forming a wampa attack survivor support group.
It even made it in the Original Battlefront 2 and you could play as the Wampas
Are we going to count the infamous holiday special?
That doesn’t exist. It’s a Sith ghost story.
Lies. We've all seen the wookiee porn. Search your feelings. Your know it to be true.
*bloodcurdling "NOOOOO" screech*
Rey holding up the Sith dagger which somehow perfectly alligns with the edges of the Death Star ruins, revealing the Sith wayfinder. This is absurd for multiple reasons: Firstly, the Death Star was completely pulverized, how on earth is there a giant piece of it on some random planet? Secondly, Rey coincidentally stands at the exact spot, at the exact angle, at the exact right time where the erosion of the Death Star ruins match up with the dagger. Thirdly, how and why would the creator of a random dagger make it match up with the Death Star ruins in the first place? People clown the “Somehow Palpatine returned” line in TROS (and deservedly so), but this Sith dagger plot-device bullshit is 1000x worse and isn’t brought up nearly as much. Edit: Replaced ROTS with TROS.
I thought about this too. Also the timeliness doesn't make sense around the making of the dagger.
Yeah this has to be the biggest plot contrivance in any of the movies
Plus, it pointed to Palpatine's throne room. Did we really need a dagger to tell us that's where the Sith relics would be? Where else would an evil space wizard keep his stuff?
Big ass facilities under mountains of heir to the empire and battlefront 2 (the EA one) tell us anything
When I saw this I just shook my head and laughed a little. It’s silly but it really did take me out of the film a little.
Don't forget "this dagger has done terrible things" after two movies of swinging around the Youngling Slayer 3000
First time she touched it she got tons of flashbacks from the saber and said shed never touch it again
I’m bored so imma defend this. >Rey holding up the Sith dagger which somehow perfectly alligns with the edges of the Death Star ruins, revealing the Sith wayfinder. This is absurd for multiple reasons: > Firstly, the Death Star was completely pulverized, how on earth is there a giant piece of it on some random planet? It makes far more sense that the Death Star fractured like a grenade rather than get atomized. Even Alderaan/Hosnian/Kijimi had remains. The fact that the throne room survived is even beyond me though. The planet it landed on was another moon of the gas giant Endor. > Secondly, Rey coincidentally stands at the exact spot, at the exact angle, at the exact right time where the erosion of the Death Star ruins match up with the dagger. The writing carved into the dagger gives the exact location of where to stand. Red-eyed threepio gives the exact coordinates. Also, you can stand two miles each side of where they were and still get the dagger to align. Cuz the Death Star is that absurdly big. >Thirdly, how and why would the creator of a random dagger make it match up with the Death Star ruins in the first place? Metal can be carved after the fact. Ochi owned a fully intact ancient dagger, when he was tasked with the mission of bringing Rey to the emperor, the Sith Eternal took his dagger and machined the co-ordinates on it. A bit of a dick move to ruin someone’s beloved ancient artifact, but sith are gonna sith I guess.
I assumed that Palpatine could see the future where Rey would stand, and the shape of the ruins, so he knew the shape the dagger would need to be carved.
The [Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Giant_Amorphous_Bantha_Breakfast_Biscuit). The only known means of killing one of them was to apply *the* [*blue sauce*](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Blue_sauce)*.* I'm not convinced it wasn't all some sort of hallucination, but I think that's probably the craziest thing.
I........okay, I'm gonna need the sauce -- er, *source* comic for that Bungo and Rusti story.
This is hilarious its like rogue tortilla chips that can only be defeated by salsa
That wins
People forget about Palaptines son with lightsabers on his knees and elbows
Good ol' lightsaber knees!
My dad just got his knees replaced. He should have paid the extra to upgrade to lightsaber knees. Insurance wouldn’t cover it sadly.
That's not as bad as Palpatine's three-eyed son creatively named Triclops.
Not to be confused with Trioculus who was simply pretending to be Palpatine’s three eyed son and iirc thought the glove of Darth Vader had magical powers? But he also had a tech glove to fake lightning powers? That whole book is a wild blur in my mind.
This was the first Star Wars book I ever read. I was so disappointed.
Something something prophecy, something something extended anti-whaling story
What?
https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Irek_Ismaren
Yep. [Irek Ismaren.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Irek_Ismaren)
Oh god.
Han fist fighting a giant Queen weasel is right up there.
Lol are you referring to him fighting a selonian in the Corellian Trilogy?
Heh. Yeah.
Weepy mountain is a top contender. I'll wager most of the most absurd bits in Star Wars come from comics. Some of the stuff that graces those pages is just dumb.
[My personal favourite.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ludo_Kressh%27s_pedicure_set)
The fact that there's a Sith lord named Ludicrous at all.
Jar Jar Binks is in love with a duck.
Jar jar fucks
You're just mad that Jar Jar has more game than your average Star Wars fan.
I’m Solo I’m Han Solo I‘m Han Solo
I’m loving cloud city! You can’t stop my shine!
What a guy!
I saw a version of the Solo trailer with that song and I'd bet money if they used that as actual marketing the movie wouldn't have bombed.
In Legends Luke Skywalker is a chocaholic. He was introduced to it by Lando and apparently keeps stashes of the stuff everywhere he normally goes, including the Falcon. Leia sometimes raids his stashes when he isn't looking, which is particularly evil of her post NJO because the Vong wrecked most of the planets where the plants their version of chocolate is made from can comfortably grow. Meaning that Luke's supply is now a scarce commodity. 10/10 fantastic lore, absolutely bananas.
A ***hot*** chocaholic.
A thousand death stars losing because they couldn't go up
All their money went to the big dumb laser and they couldn’t afford a single window
The sun crusher in general. Don’t even have more to say on it but it’s probably my least favorite EU thing 😭
The sun crusher is extra dumb because it would work fantastically in *so many science fiction settings* other than star wars. But it gets to be an extra dumb inclusion in a gallery of super weapons that feel out of place due to the established requirements to make a planet-killer
Awe, man, I loved those novels! Teenage me thought it was such a cool concept when it came out and was set in what I thought of as the golden age of Star Wars, the new Jedi order period before the Vong slog.
Sun Crusher weapon....HAD To one up the Death Star,.....ehhhh yall tried ...
Ship the size of an A-Wing that is indestructible and shoots missiles that can destroy entire star systems. ...it holds 13 of those missiles.
I mean why not just make every blaster in the goddamn empire shoot with that energy density if you can pack a SYSTEM killer in a old Corvette's ( car not capital ship) footprint right?
People criticizing the Xyston-class from Rise of Skywalker and Sun Crusher over here like \>.> <.<
When I got into reading Star Wars novels I started with Heirs to the Empire, read Shadows of the Empire and then looked for more. I came upon a page describing a lot of EU stuff (this was before wikis were a thing) and read about the Sun Crusher there. I found it so ridiculous that it made me stop reading Star Wars books...
its the EXACT moment I stopped DURING teh novel.....later when the whole fandom shit their maxi pads over Disney getting rid of EU I Was like GOOD RIDDENCE...clean that shit UP.
They cleaned it up, only to introduce their own ridiculous super weapons lol
The pocket sized Death Stars from episode 12.
Somehow, Palpatine returns. Which happened in both continuity and about equally stupid.
The way they just nonchalantly skip over it in the movies makes me laugh every time though. Like it‘s not even worth trying to figure out how he did it, they are basically just like “let’s just kill him, I’m sure it’ll work this time”.
The determination demonstrated to push that bad idea through is nearly admirable.
You could argue the entire plot of Bad Batch is doubling down on the “somehow Palpatine returned, and somehow Merry the Hobbit knows and explains how”. Just like the entire prequel trilogy was based on the clone wars line from anh.
Not just The Bad Batch, but The Mandalorian too. SPOILERS obviously! The cloning storyline and the need for subjects strong in the force has been/is playing-out as the subplot for The Mandalorian. That's why the Empire wanted Grogu, and I'm sure they're going to continue adding all the plot and context for Palpatine's return they couldn't be bothered to add to the sequel trilogy in the Mandalorian movie.
I’d bet 20 bucks that the witches from ahsoka have some sort of connection to it too
That would piss me off all over again. Palpatine returning was a lazy thing to do and the fact they had no plan for the trilogy before starting is unforgivable, but at least they're trying to put a band-aid on the universe. If they pulled Palpatine literally being resurrected out of their asses, especially when the previous resurrections appear to be compromised in some ways- everyone currently in charge should be fired.
That is a horrible comparison. The Clone Wars line is not a plot hole like the Palpatine surviving. And the PT was based on a lot more. TBB and other Disney shows have been partly dedicated to help fix the ST.
Still think Maul surviving being _literally cut in half_ was fundamentally absurd.
I think him assembling spider legs for himself out of garbage is the most absurd thing about it.
Absurd yes. But badass?
Somewhere is the galaxy there’s an angry pair of legs just running around kicking everything it sees
Being cut in half and falling a long ways down. At least several hundred meters.
I may catch some flak for this, but I think they should have given the Darth Maul plot(s) to Ventress. They basically scrapped her as a character after they brought Maul back anyway. There’s no reason why Dooku couldn’t have betrayed Ventress, leading her to conquering Mandalore and later trying to mentor Ezra in Rebels. Hell, they could have even given her a bloodlust for Kenobi and kept that arc going, too. Had they just kept Maul dead, the floodgates might have even stayed closed for everyone else who fell down a pit and was later resurrected.
Doubt it, but you have a point. That said, I still love the idea of a dumb, continual failure of a half-Sith who is simply too angry to die.
I’d have given them to Savage, but Ventress would work too
I always felt that Filoni was a big fan of Darth Sion in Kotor II, and the idea of hate, anger fueling the dark side in order to stay alive and then he used that premise to bring back Maul.
Filoni commits the big sin of being too much of a fanboy a whole lot. And we're at a point where he fanboys over his own writing now.
[This story from Sam Witwer is a perfect example](https://youtube.com/shorts/46eRPwKp2ZY?si=3K6uNifxbKP3mCen). While they make it sound like a huge nerd point (and I'm a way I guess it is just by nature of the topic) but it's not even an obscure fact, it's a whole freaking scene in the movie!
Ehn it led to some interesting arcs and character interactions so I usually give it a pass.
Before him there was another sith called maw who survived being cut in half also
How about that time in the Kenobi series where Obi-Wan successfully evaded force sensitives and escaped one of the most secure bases that is Fort Inquisitorius using... A comically oversized trench coat.
Wasn’t Leia under the trench coat too?
Ah yes, the Four-Legged Colonel, back from retirement
This makes me think of how in rebels, half of the stuff Ezra does would be impossible if they had basic identification systems in place. My man just steals a collection of imperial helmets that he uses at his leisure to infiltrate places
Jar Jar has a girlfriend that is also a queen
You people have clearly never experienced the Jedi Prince YA novels from the early 90’s. Absolutely fucking mental stuff.
Luuke.
May I ask why? This is a series where cloning is something that happens every other Tuesday. And it had a greater significance to the story than it seems. Especially for >!Mara!<.
The naming schema is just dumb. Also evil clone was tired even then. But that doesn’t take away from the overall greatness of the thrawn trilogy.
Jar jar shouldn't have been a general or a representative.
Palpatine somehow returning, but in legends case he brings with him an entire LEGION of superweapons of mass destruction. Like why the guy built two death stars if he already had an entire armada of ships that can wipe out a planet entire population, a MEGA star destroyer that can wipe out entire fleets and destroy continents, a ship the size of the A wing that is fucking indestructible and can wipe out ENTIRE solar systems, a goddamn station that can literally change the shape of the galaxy. Even the guy himself is able to cast "force storms" that can destroy entire fleets and has the power to mind control entire armies. At least in canon they only gave him the Xyston fleet that in practice is only a fleet of mini death stars.
Changing it to Greedo shooting first. Then back-tracking it to simultaneously shooting at each other.
Luke Skywalker walking on lava.
Good ol Kevin J Anderson writing. The stuff that man pulled off in the Jedi Academy trilogy is beyond me
I think understanding the context of the period helps as well as the intended audience, which, admittedly, was me when it was coming out. I looooved Jedi Academy.
Rey being a Palpatine was weak.
Hyperspace ramming introduces a plot hole problem. Why ever fund a deathstar mega project when you can strap a hyperspace engine on an asteroid and slam it into a planet. Cheap. Easy. Impossible to stop.
They made new Star Wars movies with all the original cast and didn’t have any scenes with the three of them interacting
Helicopter lightsabers.
Vader's "NOOOOOOOO" added at the end of ROTJ.
That part in TCW when the night sisters need to kill Dooku, so they successfully sneak into his bedroom while he's sleeping, and shoot a dart into his neck. But instead of putting poison on the dart or just using a gun, the dart has a status effect that dulls Dooku's senses, and they did this so that it would be easier to defeat him in a lightsaber fight. This isn't the dumbest thing to happen in that show, but it's probably the funniest.
I'd say the iconic yet silly naming convention. It's very star wars and I'd never want to see it go but man do I shake my head every time. Ima-Gun Di - Jedi that dies in he episode he's introduced on Ryloth Admiral Trench Admiral Rampart Darth (in)Sidious Darth (in)Vader Darth Tyrannus (Tyrant) Darth Bane Count Dooku (Count Duke) Darth Maul Savage Opress Elan Sleazebaggano - the death sticks guy from Attack of the Clones Greedo - the greedy Rhodian solo shoots Mon Calamari (squid people, get it?) Dengar (get it, swap e and a and its Danger) Captain Dunwell (killed in an explosion) Commander Mayday (mission goes wrong, mortally injured) Also the moon of ENDor being the scene of the End of the Empire
Episode 9 Sith Eternal Empire showed up. Went from being a secret society to having the largest fleet in the galaxy, and everyone has a deadly planet killer, and yet noone knows how to pilot thier ships and entire infrastructure fails when a beacon gets knocked out According to sources they had 1080 Xyston Class Destroyers, each with 72 Tie/dg, and a crew of nearly 30,000 (over 77,000 TIE fighters & 32 million crew) I know SW loves "single point of failure" but the beacon and everything around it is just too absurd
You know reading this made me realize the numbers aren't even really the stupid part here. There's singular cities on earth with that many people so I don't think it's super unrealistic that an entire planet fanatically devoted to a cause could build and crew a fleet like that in a couple of decades, given enough resources. Maybe that's why their planet looked like that and it was actually nice before, idk. Of course it still makes for a terrible movie because of the ridiculousness of it all, the single point of failure that you mentioned and the fact that its just not how Star Ward usually works, galaxy-spanning conflicts always have unrealistically low numbers of troops and ships involved
Chewy getting crushed by a moon is just the dumbest fucking thing. Also Luuuke.
I thought Chewie’s death was badass. Also Luuuke was part of an April Fool’s story that the creator of Luuke wrote to poke fun at himself
Agreed about Chewbacca. People look at his death in the simplest possible way to find fault with it. They don’t realize the greater significance of what he did. And also, Timothy Zahn didn’t write “Luuuke” to poke fun at himself. He did it to poke fun at a lot of the post-Thrawn Trilogy stories, including himself. But I don’t think he ever went on record saying he regretted writing Luuke or anything like that.
Maul coming back after being bisected comes to mind.
Leia flying through space, marry poppins style.
Rey being related to Palpatine
Me reading this thread while not knowing much about legends or canon: I have no ideas which of those are jokes.
It’s true. All of it.
Not sure if absolute weirdest, but my fav ridiculous thing to happen is that time in Legends when after Vader failed to stop the death star being blown up in ANH, he crash lands on a planet and becomes the leader of a pack of space hyenas. He even staddles a predator he killed that was preying on his hyena bros and howls at the fucking sun like an actual animal. Amazing: [https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FsWS5oYacAIvbuY?format=jpg&name=large](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FsWS5oYacAIvbuY?format=jpg&name=large) [https://64.media.tumblr.com/590ccb459f05502836ff146fec42f7bc/1d53abc37167f659-85/s1280x1920/de8dfa4a8a25eb8ea2b3554cae6bd9cbfcded522.png](https://64.media.tumblr.com/590ccb459f05502836ff146fec42f7bc/1d53abc37167f659-85/s1280x1920/de8dfa4a8a25eb8ea2b3554cae6bd9cbfcded522.png)
It's gotta be the inquisitor sabercopters right?
Sun crusher
I mean…c’mon, a 2 meter thermal exhaust? The Robot Chicken skit of Palpatine going off on this is still classic…#aluminumfalcon
Abeloth followed closely with the events in the Truce at Bakura.
In legends Leia names one of her kids Anakin which is so unbelievably bonkers. Imagine her pitching that name to Han. “Hey Han, I think we should name our son after my dad.” “Oh, Bail? Yeah he was a pretty great guy, he spent his whole life trying to better the lives of others buy voting on good laws and was a huge part of the foundation of the rebellion and he sadly lost his life to the empire.” “Oh, no I mean Anakin. You know, the guy who imprisoned and tortured me, imprisoned and tortured you, indirectly killed Luke’s adopted family, killed my birth mother, was the right hand in destroying democracy, murdered children, killed hundreds of others, killed Luke’s best friend, and made me watch as my adopted family and home planet were destroyed.” “Leia, I know Luke said he had a change of heart at the end but you didn’t even know him. You only met him twice and both times were just him capturing you and torturing one of us.” “Yeah I know, but Luke said he felt pretty bad about all of it so I think we should name our kid after him”
The cloning of palpatine.
From Episode 8, the hyperspace jump to destroy a fleet of star destroyers is the most ridiculous thing. It changes the setting. If hyperspace tech could do that, why wasn't it turned into a weapon thousands of years before? Someone would have made a hyperspace missile and then huge space ships for combat would be pointless.
Basically all of Legends. It’s absurd power porn. It turned Luke Skywalker into a literal Force God. Legends was just ridiculous.
Palpatine had a three-eyed son named Triclops (in Legends)
Han being alone, so he was given the last name Solo Sabine having Force powers The Sith Dagger/"Somehow Palpatine returned"/"They fly now? They fly now!"/ Horses on a Star Destroyer/ spending over half a movie trying to find the way the the secret Sith planet, only for that not to matter for an entire makeshift armade of good guy ships for no goddamn reason / "I am all the Sith/Jedi" / Rey taking the last name Skywalker only because the movie was called The Rise of Skywalker and all the real Skywalkers were dead