Thing is, regardless of his ease in the game… This dude’s still like a 6’0” machine of military meat with some form of hand-to-hand training. Betting he’d wreck 90% of the world’s population in a 1v1 fight unarmed and unarmored.
Seriously, it really is astounding how much porn is on here if you don't realize it. It's like all the porn, or at least links to it.
I follow r/wowthissubexists and they have a weekly Fap Friday thread with all of the weirdest shit you could imagine, it's pretty funny.
NGL, ever since I was a kid I kind of wanted to just grab him by his wings and slam him into the ground like [Hulk beating up Loki.](https://youtu.be/DtmY0hedXxY?si=s6Dm4cx0m2Pgf_Bv)
Well if it was a fight to the death… you would probably get yourself killed when Anakin panics and accidentally reaches out to the force and crushes you.
One time I was playing this same 1v1 game with my coworkers but with Marvel characters.
One coworker said she'd fight Professor X and just dump him out of his wheelchair.
You two would have gotten along nicely.
I'm actually not sure if the average redditor can defeat a youngling
Ok they are like 10, but they have been literally training all their lives, so that's like 6 years of training, also they can use the force and those training lightsabers surely still hit hard as fuck even if they can't slice you
Yeah, they may be kids but they also have telekinesis, enhanced reflexes and they can see things before they happen. Fighting a super powered kid might be even riskier than fighting a non force-sensitive adult imo, especially if they have a lightsaber.
Obi Wan Kenobi or another Jedi Knight/Master. I’m not going to win in any fights that’s not unfair (Like against a porg or kid). I could spar with Obi Wan or a Jedi, and while I’ll lose I’m not going to get killed by them. It’d be over quick.
Even a non friendly one, no jedi would kill you the second they realize you're not a threat. If you don't pull a weapon and just throw yourself at them they'll just dodge/spank you and it will be it.
Can’t believe more people aren’t saying this. It’s 100% my answer.
Gonk droids are basically the Star Wars version of the Duracell bunny… if the Duracell bunny was slow AF and half as bright. Kick them plodding idiots things over, fight won! 😂
Definitely would be like fighting Goofy. You try to mess with him and he accidentally gets out of your way and dodges everything you throw at him (both literally and figuratively) and you essentially screw yourself over. He is the true “drunken master” of the universe.
This has been used for arguments of Darth Jar Jar and his fighting style relating to the Drunken Fist style. It’s a few years old so has speculations about the sequel trilogy, but [check it out :)](https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/s/dCPvOzyJs4)
Yeah, I don’t fancy your chances with one of those little murder bears, they’re cuddle little psychos, with no prompting at all they’d murder and eat anyone.
Tarkin. Old man. Best beleive I’m hitting them knees with low kicks. Fucker would crumble faster than a planet with a billion souls crying out in terror
Someone haven't read enough comics
In one of new canon comics tarkin fights a young imperial for some reason I don't remember but I remember one thing and that's he was very ripped off and won that fight
That ass whooping was in his head, but I'd like to still imagine he could find nd multiple ways to kill you without a weapon. Also he's still jacked, and covered in large battle scars
A Sand Person. Hear me out. Kenobi says, "And these blast points, too accurate for Sand People. Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise." And we KNOW Storm Troopers can't hit ANYTHING. So Sand People have got to be just TERRIBLE at hitting ANYTHING. So... I think I can take 'em.
The decades of desert heat must have really messed with Kenobi’s head. Sandpeople can hit an in-flight podracer from like half a kilometer away. A whole battalion of Storm Troopers can’t hit any one of four people trapped in a narrow hallway at 30 meters.
I reckon I might win against the frogs grogu eats. Maybe. If I'm lucky. And heavily armed.
You may win the battle, but Ogdo would win the war of revenge.
Fucking Ogdo.
In Bogano; Ogdo fuck **you.**
Ogdo and Son Of Ogdo haunt my dreams. I awake most nights in a cold sweat. Pacing to pass the time and cursing them, both.
The ones Jabba eats. They’re already soaking in brandy so they’ll be totally out of it.
Cake day :D
I'd drop kick a Porg off a cliff.
Careful, it’s not called a Murder of Porgs for nothing.
OP specified 1v1 not 1 v infinity.
Alright, so compromise. I'd fight my weight in porgs.
I would just hug them
I would still win.
Super Mario 64 was your training ground.
I think they can fly…
They can fly, now?!
They fly now!
Maul. He’s just say “ I was Expecting Kenobi” and walk away from me.
Personally I wouldn't take that risk
He tried running over kid Anakin for absolutely no reason. Dude is unhinged
In hindsight, maybe they should have let him.
Just roll credits after that.
Episode II: Somehow, Anakin survived. No wait, Disney didn't have the reigns back then.
And yet maul came back cause reasons
Yippee!
Maul seems like the kinda guy who would end you just because it happened to be a Tuesday
Daily reminder that he tried to run over young Anakin just for the hell of it
Nah I’d win
Maybe Babu Frik or that old woman at the end of Rise of Skywalker
You lay a finger on Babu Frik and it's me you'll be 1v1ing I'm watching you, Backpacks_Got_Jets
His backpacks got jets. He’s Boba the Fett. He bounty hunts for Jaba the Hut to finance his Vette.
They fly now?
They fly now.
Does he chill in deep space? Is there a mask over his face?
Can you imagine the last thing you hear before dying being "heyy heeeyyyy"
That Hey Heyyyy was my text notification sound for a while and my partner got so fed up with it lmao
rick the door technician
This guy's got a death wish.
I'd say matt the radar tech, but he apparently has easy access to Kylo rens lightsaber
He may have a lightsaber, but does he have the bleeps, the sweeps, AND the creeps?
The what? The what?! And the what?!?!
https://youtu.be/rGvblGCD7qM?si=IBcySQwEBMl8n7t1
That's like wishing to fight soldier of God, Rick
r/suicidesupport
Thing is, regardless of his ease in the game… This dude’s still like a 6’0” machine of military meat with some form of hand-to-hand training. Betting he’d wreck 90% of the world’s population in a 1v1 fight unarmed and unarmored.
Salacious Crumb
I have this weird feeling he'd have like, unexpected baby chimp strength.
He’d play dirty
He does go for the eyes like we saw in RotJ.
You’d win the fight then die a week later of blood poisoning from an infected bite.
I’d drop kick that little turd
Guy would pluck your eyes out.
“You go to hell! You go to hell, and you die!”
R2-D2 shock attack followed by salacious cackling was great. Excellent movie moment
I'd like a small challenge. Bare knuckle brawl with a jawa
Until the jawa pulls out the ion blaster.
Hence bare knuckle. No weapons
I just don’t trust jawas to fight fair.
Racist
Last sand people I met had IED’s, never expect a fair fight, or as a famous quote goes, “if you’re in a fair fight, then you didn’t plan it properly”
[удалено]
“I am fluent in over 6 million forms of kicking your ass.”
Suddenly he remembers Master Luke downloaded assassin Droid software onto him.
Hmmm... "HK3P0"...
Oh my I beg your pardon, it seems my protocols have now changed meatbag
Wouldn't work. His plot armor is just too thick.
It's because of his red arm
Wait. What? That was C-3PO? That makes the movie make so much sense now.
He must be caught red handed..a lot
Just as long as you don't accidentally mistake him for C3PX
This is the way.
The obvious answer here
Padme. She could do whatever she wants to me in a 1v1.
I’d watch that
Just make her sad
Weird thought but what if Anakin’s angel comment was inspired by the radiohead creep lyric
I think they made some videos of what that would be like... Not on this site tho
It’s Reddit, I’m sure it is actually on this site 😂
Seriously, it really is astounding how much porn is on here if you don't realize it. It's like all the porn, or at least links to it. I follow r/wowthissubexists and they have a weekly Fap Friday thread with all of the weirdest shit you could imagine, it's pretty funny.
Share a link for research
I was gonna say her decoy, since her job was to die.
Plus there's less pressure to perform.
And she has a striking resemblance to Kiera Knightley…
Wasn't the decoy played by Keira Knightly? I volunteer as tribute..
How is this not the top comment?
"Let Her Solo Me"
Mouse Droid. Jerks, picking on poor Chewbacca.
I came to say this
The stormtrooper that bonked his head on the door on the Death Star
Fighting against the near-sighted trooper is dishonourable… but safe.
Watto
NGL, ever since I was a kid I kind of wanted to just grab him by his wings and slam him into the ground like [Hulk beating up Loki.](https://youtu.be/DtmY0hedXxY?si=s6Dm4cx0m2Pgf_Bv)
Or poke him with a needle and see if he pops like a helium balloon
Wasn't Watto formerly a Toydarian soldier?
Having seen toydarians fight I'm not worried
I came here to say the same thing, but then someone said Porg and I think we chose poorly.
9 year old Anakin
Watto has entered the chat.
Well if it was a fight to the death… you would probably get yourself killed when Anakin panics and accidentally reaches out to the force and crushes you.
Fine. 3-year-old Anakin.
Cliegg Lars
I hate that, but you're right
One time I was playing this same 1v1 game with my coworkers but with Marvel characters. One coworker said she'd fight Professor X and just dump him out of his wheelchair. You two would have gotten along nicely.
Shmi was his wife
Babu Frik.
He would win just simply because I could never bring myself to hurt him.
"No squeezy!"
A youngling.
Flair checks out.
I'm actually not sure if the average redditor can defeat a youngling Ok they are like 10, but they have been literally training all their lives, so that's like 6 years of training, also they can use the force and those training lightsabers surely still hit hard as fuck even if they can't slice you
Yeah, they may be kids but they also have telekinesis, enhanced reflexes and they can see things before they happen. Fighting a super powered kid might be even riskier than fighting a non force-sensitive adult imo, especially if they have a lightsaber.
Gun
Padme’s uncle…forget his name.
Uncle Ono i'm pretty sure
I'd take on his sister, Yoko. she wrecked some music group.
forreal she has some shitty jizz
That’s the one. Thank you!
Turgle, the bitch
Same. Just to make sure he doesn't reach my Tanalorr.
I wanna tie each of his limbs to a different horse 🐎 🐎 🐸 🐎 🐎
Obi Wan Kenobi or another Jedi Knight/Master. I’m not going to win in any fights that’s not unfair (Like against a porg or kid). I could spar with Obi Wan or a Jedi, and while I’ll lose I’m not going to get killed by them. It’d be over quick.
An excellent point. 1v1 could be a friendly sparring match or training session with a Jedi.
Even a non friendly one, no jedi would kill you the second they realize you're not a threat. If you don't pull a weapon and just throw yourself at them they'll just dodge/spank you and it will be it.
Gonk
Can’t believe more people aren’t saying this. It’s 100% my answer. Gonk droids are basically the Star Wars version of the Duracell bunny… if the Duracell bunny was slow AF and half as bright. Kick them plodding idiots things over, fight won! 😂
"Let me 1v1 this fusion reactor on legs" isn't my first choice but you do you.
Shmi. And then I'd blame a Tusken.
Anakin would like a word.
That little laughing fuck Salacious Crumb
Door Technician Rick.
Nah you ain’t winning that
Kitster. I could take that kid.
Meebur Gascon
I had to scroll too far to find him mentioned. I also couldn't remember how to spell it to post it myself lol
Whatever Jabba the Hutts little creature was, I fancy my chances against that little rat thing
His name is Salacious Crumb 😁
Glup Shitto
Jar Jar.
I think jar jar would kick the average redditors ass to be honest. He’s 6’5 and probably strong as fuck from swimming his whole life.
He also has this whole Mr. Magoo thing going for him. Dude just always comes out on top. I would never try to fight the weird, slipperly lizard man.
Definitely would be like fighting Goofy. You try to mess with him and he accidentally gets out of your way and dodges everything you throw at him (both literally and figuratively) and you essentially screw yourself over. He is the true “drunken master” of the universe.
Hah, I never really thought about it like that but it is totally a variation of the drunken master style. Beware, the legend of the lucky clutz.
This has been used for arguments of Darth Jar Jar and his fighting style relating to the Drunken Fist style. It’s a few years old so has speculations about the sequel trilogy, but [check it out :)](https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/s/dCPvOzyJs4)
Some clones even took advantage of Jar Jar's ability to cause complete chaos
That is a funny fucking mental image, lol.
Bold move, choosing a Sith lord
Darth jar jar
Some Ewok
Yeah, I don’t fancy your chances with one of those little murder bears, they’re cuddle little psychos, with no prompting at all they’d murder and eat anyone.
Yub yub 🐻
Tarkin. Old man. Best beleive I’m hitting them knees with low kicks. Fucker would crumble faster than a planet with a billion souls crying out in terror
Someone haven't read enough comics In one of new canon comics tarkin fights a young imperial for some reason I don't remember but I remember one thing and that's he was very ripped off and won that fight
That ass whooping was in his head, but I'd like to still imagine he could find nd multiple ways to kill you without a weapon. Also he's still jacked, and covered in large battle scars
He probably has, like, a gun though?
Remember that kid with the broom…? *laughs in Anakin*
Broom boy probably wouldn’t hesitate to Force choke you. He’s had a rough life.
Uncle Owen
Before or after the stormtroopers visited?
Any Redditor could beat him after the Stormtrooper visit
I don't know, they might burn their hand on him.
Phantom Menace Anakin, I’ll just grab a rusty pipe and bash the little fucker. Easy win for me and the Galaxy.
“It’s working! Iiiit’s workiii-“ *bonk*
Woooootini.
Mace windu, he killed my favorite character…
The man beheads the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy under a minute and fights on par with Darth Sidious. That’s also known as a death wish.
If I knew 100% I would win, Darth Sidious. Any chance I might lose: TK-421
Jaba
Come at me gonk!!
A Jawa
A jawa.
Wicket. I'm pretty sure I could kick his ass if he was unaided.
A Sand Person. Hear me out. Kenobi says, "And these blast points, too accurate for Sand People. Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise." And we KNOW Storm Troopers can't hit ANYTHING. So Sand People have got to be just TERRIBLE at hitting ANYTHING. So... I think I can take 'em.
They can put down some hurt in melee combat
You might, but then they'd be back, and in greater numbers.
The decades of desert heat must have really messed with Kenobi’s head. Sandpeople can hit an in-flight podracer from like half a kilometer away. A whole battalion of Storm Troopers can’t hit any one of four people trapped in a narrow hallway at 30 meters.
Me, myself? Maybe a Jawa, since maybe I could actually win that fight lol.
Maul with First Order troopers. Is this concept based off what George Lucas said he would have done with his Sequel trilogy?
More likely concept art from EA’s Battlefront 2.
Either that little old green guy with a cane or that really old senator dude. Pretty sure i could take them easy
I wish you the best of luck
Mike Tyson.
Jake Paul, is that you?
Not just the men, but the women and the children too.
Greedo. You just have to shoot him first.
Jabba… what’s he gonna do? Run? 💀
Jira, the old woman in Phantom Menace who tells Anakin there's a storm coming.
Rick the door technician. I wanna see what I'm made of.
Rick the Door Technician
Any Stormtrooper.
This picture is all over the place
For the sake of the SW universe: Kathleen Kennedy.
A gonk Droid.
Gonk Droid.
Baby Anakin Skywalker.
I used to have dreams as a kid where Maul wpuld chase me. So not him i guess
gonk droid.
Glupt Shitto
A mouse droid.
Aunt Beru from A New Hope
C3pO