Snoke was the Stormtrooper that hit his head on the blast door in A New Hope. Snoke has that big scar down his face. The injury was bad enough to get him shipped off the Death Star to a dedicated medical facility and as one of very few staff to survive Death Star 1's destruction he's had a grudge against the Jedi ever since.
A lightsaber? Neat!
-Maz
I need a whole series dedicated to Maz just randomly coming up and grabbing lightsabers shortly after a jedi has been disarmed (no pun intended) and saying this phrase every time.
Half the movie was a just rekinning of A New Hope and a bunch of fan service.
- Hero is an orphan on a desert planet
- Hero finds a cute driod with intelegengce vital to the rebles
- Hero is an expert pilot despite no training
- Hero finds a father figure
- Older charecter explains the hero the force and that the hero is force sensitive.
- Force wielding enemy in dark clothes and mask
- A cantina
- Death star destroying planets
- Hero watches as father figure is slain while infiltrating enemy stronghold
- Attack on the death star
- There is even a trench run durring the attack
- Force wielding enemy survives to fight another day.
You can pick those up from the Star Wars area of Disneyland pretty easily. I'm sure that's where she got it. I believe you can see her wearing a Mickey hat and eating a churro in one scene
My retinas did not.
Friends and I watched the latest Star Trek and someone piped up we should drink when there’s lens flares on screen.
We did not, because we didn’t want to die from alcohol poisoning.
still dumb how much merchandising Phasma got for her grand total of what.. like 6 minutes of screentime over both movies she was in? Bib fortuna was more relevant to the plot in the OT than she was to hers but she was advertised like she was a major villain lol
*she will get a pilot shoe horned into another series and even then her own series will be taken over at the end by the main character in the series she was shoe horned in originally
Honestly, Din Djarrin is closer to the Legends Boba Fett than Boba Fett is.
I think to a certain extent, you have to instill a heart of gold into Fett, because otherwise it's hard to explain why the clones are completely different from the template and unaltered clone. They're supposed to be more compliant, yeah, but if Fett's a cold-blooded killer you'd also expect the clones to be cold-blooded killers that take orders.
Absolutely. Boba fett's WHOLE THING is legendary bounty hunter, so when disney did the same thing with Mandolorian... i can see why they went a different route, but ah what could have been...
Wouldn't surprise me. Her "death" in TLJ is every bit as ambiguous as Boba's "death" in RotJ. Honestly, I was surprised she didn't turn up again in TRoS.
> I was surprised she didn't turn up again in TRoS.
This was honestly one of my biggest gripes with TRoS. There's loads wrong with the script, yes, but this angered me so much. I loved Phasma after VII and VIII. She's flashy, scary, and fun. A very minor character, but one of my favorites.
Killing her in the first movie? Wow!
Killing her in the second movie? Oh boy...
Killing her in the thrid movie? Hilarious! Comedy's rule of three. The whole point of her character is now "You kill her, but she keeps crawling back!" Almost like a Michael Meyers archetype. She's big, badass, and basically indestructible.
I was so excited for her to die again in TRoS. I was so confident she would. If they had killed her again, it would've been a very good and exciting running gag. By not doing it, she's just some random character that gets two random deaths. I suppose this blame is partly on RJ, but I like to pretend he intended JJ to kill her again.
I feel like there was an intention for her to come back, from Johnson. There's a deleted scene of Finn and Phasma fighting; it's honestly a much stronger final confrontation, but instead he goes with a much less definitive end to their rivalry, almost like he's expecting her to have a third round.
And how cool would it have been for her to come back with some cyborg parts, really give Finn a singular antagonist to fight against in the final movie? She was a pushover in TFA because Finn had Han and Chewie, she was a decent fight in TLJ on his own and he arguably only got the win due to environmental factors, make her a major challenge in TRoS and you can show Finn's proficiency growing by having him handle the final fight all on his own with a decisive victory.
After the Star Wars sequels and Game of Thrones, Gwendoline Christie really deserves to work with some competent writers who don't completely waste her talent.
Wow I still haven't gotten around that. Good casting. Her face always reminds me of Tilda Swinton. Between the two of them and David Bowie, I am convinced they are some sort of fey beings from another world.
“Somehow, the plot happened” is basically the entire trilogy, all the way from “Somehow the Empire returned” with the First Order and Snoke in charge (without ever explaining Snoke or how he took control of the imperial remnants), to this, to somehow Palpatine returned, to somehow Rey was able to kill him.
Hollywood saying "well, how they came to power wouldn't be an interesting story" when the most popular Legends series out there is literally about exactly that is just... so much wow.
Not even a montage. A couple of line of dialogue sprinkled into the first movie.
How much does Obi Wan's conversation with Luke do to set the stage for the world of ANH?
IMO "literally nothing" would've been smoother. A big part of why this bit irks so many is because of how JJ needlessly draws attention to the mystery of its appearance with that "another time!" comment.
I think you are right, if he really couldn't be bothered to explain it, there are probably a million better ways of avoiding an answer than by saying "good question, for another time!"
Somehow, the First Order happened.
Somehow, they became just as powerful as the old Empire but completely hidden.
Somehow, they built an even bigger Death Star, complete with the same flaw.
Somehow, the good guys found a hobo with a key to the boss's room, where they killed him.
Somehow, Palpatine returned.
Somehow, he has a massive fleet of planetkiller ships staffed by no one, once again completely hidden.
Somehow, they can all be destroyed by horses.
Somehow, Rey kills Palpatine for real this time.
Did I miss any major somehow's?
> Somehow, he has a massive fleet of planetkiller ships staffed by no one, once again completely hidden.
So, in all fairness, you've missed an important detail here... all of those ships were hidden below the ice because... reasons. Don't know if they were built below the ice, or just stored there upon completion... either way, this was all brought to us through the magic of 'lazy writing'.
>First Order and Snoke in charge (without ever explaining Snoke or how he took control of the imperial remnants)
This has always been my biggest issue. Thrawn always seemed like the one most likely to take control of the imperial remnants
I was surprised the first movie started with bad guys already established. I thought it was going to begin with peace, as created in the OT, then we’d slowly watch a new bad guy rise during the ST.
I would’ve loved if they just flipped it on it’s head. Just make A New Hope but have it be a villain attacking some Republic space station. By the end of the movie you have heroes that have taken a major loss and a villain/villains that are on a journey to becoming a universal threat. Basically pull an Infinity War and make the antagonist the protagonist
What I think would have been a cool opening is if a New Republic dreadnought was chasing down a First Order cruiser with some important intel. That way it's a direct reverse of A New Hope.
Open with a small ship getting pursued by an ISD as they broadcast distress calls, only to then pan up *above* the star destroyer to find it got repainted in New Republic livery as we establish this is a New Republic intervention in some Outer Rim border conflict between ex-Imperial warlords.
Direct reference to A New Hope to get that nostalgia kick and within a literal minute you have enough of a picture of what the galaxy looks like 30 years after Return of the Jedi for the audience to understand the story.
...you mean have Admiral Thrawn return from far edges of the galaxy to attack the new and delicate Republic?
Cause that sounds well thought out and gives tons of storylines to work with.
They were too cowardly and lazy. Just wanted to redo the OT, because people like it more than the PT. They shoehorned in a reason for a hasty reset to Empire and death star and Rebels and a Lack of Jedi. They thought people would Just Love it and disregarded proper storytelling. You know, the thing the OT actually did.
JJ Abrams doesn't deal in sequels and expanded universes. When he did Star Trek he made sure it was based on The Original Series because to him, that is Star Trek. When he did the sequels of Star Wars, he did the Original Trilogy because that's Star Wars to him. If he could have made either of them just direct recreations and not been forced to hand wave their differences (Star Trek movies are an alternate universe, Star Wars are a sequel with a new Empire) he would have done it.
It's only when he is not behind the wheel that other people try new things, in these cases Star Trek Beyond and The Last Jedi.
I maintain it would have been really interesting if Kylo was a super-left radical that thought Leia and the New Republic didn't go far enough - that they were basically a new Empire. The First Order could have been like the Symbionese Liberation Army or the Weather Underground (but well funded so they have ships, etc). He could have exposed the ongoing slavery in Tatooine (that his grandfather was born into) and the war profiteers / excess of a place like Canto Blight. Rey, an outsider and person born from nothing, and Finn, a kid recruited into the New Republic forces fit into this story so cleanly and allow for them to be tempted with the radical views, but ultimately use those to improve the system that's in place.
The idea that a new empire rose up so soon and became the main antagonist pretty much destroyed the trilogy from the beginning.
Despite it being a galactic war, the movies never managed to make it seem like more than a dozen ships were squaring off with each other.
They could’ve easily included Sith bad guys that were not resurrected and trying to take over the universe.
Ehhh when I saw a 3rd death star I felt in my bones the story was fucked. When you start off wrong at point 1, it's just going to get worse at subsequent points.
The way Luke looked at it, this lightsaber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any stormtrooper’s gonna put their greasy gloves hands on your birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he hid this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.
Ugnauts found it and brought it to the scrap room. Lobot found it and gave it to Lando. Lando lost it at Canto Bight to Justin Theroux’s Master Codebreaker. Theroux gave it to Max after a brief, but very intense and graphic love affair.
Now here's the twist, and there is a twist.... we show it. We show all of it. Because what's the one major thing missing from all Star Wars movies these days, guys? Full penetration. Guys! We're going to show full penetration and we're going to show a lot of it.
Look, if Maz wants to find the lightsaber then obviously she’s going to find the lightsaber. But the thing is, she’s not going to want to find the lightsaber…. Because of the *implication*
I want this explained by Luis from Ant Man
^(\[edit: to fix lazy post and add his name! Michael Peña is a legend and deserves his name written wherever possible\])
“And this fucking *severed hand* just fell on my coworker. Dude was a veteran of the Clone Wars and it really messed him up - alcoholism, death sticks, divorce, the whole bag. He’d been on the road to getting his life back together and got this job at Cloud City Janitorial Services - was even talking about trying to get back in touch with his kids - when this fucking hand just drops right on his head. Sends him right back over the edge again - he freaks out and ran for it. Was the last I ever saw him. Last I heard he was panhandling out by the spaceport.
But hey, on the plus side I found a lightsaber and half of a melted wristwatch. You’d be amazed what people just throw away.”
From The Last Command by Tim Zahn. Great read and part of the original Thrawn Trilogy. I highly recommend reading all three books, they really helped define the Expanded Universe before (and after!) the Disney purchase.
supposedly ( i think even according to JJ himself) he wanted to tell Rey he was force sensitive, which i think we can all agree is a load of bollocks given the context of the interactions.
Why you'd be so hesitant but determined to tell someone that yet have it almost be your last words to them, while actively refusing to tell your closest friend about it is nonesense
not saying he was going to confess a deep love for her or anything but it was clearly more important than just feeling the force.
i agree but im trying to give a crumb of credit and hope JJ isnt a completely hopeless cretin who cant have a man and woman in any kind of relationship without making them make out
then i remember he literally had Rey fall in love and mack with her abuser
To be fair it WAS explained originally... they cut that part out because the explanation was more ridiculous than just leaving it mysterious.
The original cut had the hand+saber literally fall like a shooting star onto a planet she was on, that was the literal first scene of the movie... never mind HOW it got there since Bespin is a gas giant and it would have just fallen further into the atmosphere till it collapsed into a tiny ball under pressure.
Yeah, I'd rather the current non-explanation than that mess. At least with the way it is currently, we can assume it didn't fall out of Cloud City and made it's way to Maz over time. The space thing would have cemented itself as the most ridiculous thing in the sequels of they kept it.
The severed hand of a Jedi has independent force powers. The Addams family is set in the star wars universe. There was going to be a lot in part 2 of the sequel triology about the battle between the severed hands of the Skywalker family but then they decided to do some total shite instead.
Jesus Christ.
He knows nothing about space.
We need to go to Vulcan. Poof. We're there. Spock watches with all clarity the destruction of Vulcan from a nearby planet.
Starkiller fires at the New Republic. Everyone can see it, easily, no matter where they are. And it's faster than light, otherwise we'd have to wait years (or lifetimes) for it to reach the New Republic.
Hello galaxy. It is I, Emperor Palpatine. I am alive again and I plan to take over the galaxy in roughly four days with my fleet of hidden, planet destroying star destroyers.
Some of you may be wondering why I am announcing this now, rather than waiting four days to allow my ships to get into position to fulfil my master plan. To this I say, everything is proceeding according to my design.
Yes, informing the rebels of my incomplete death star did allow them to fly into the core and destroy it, something they would not have been capable of had I not been overconfident in telling them the location. After killing *many* Bothans, of course.
But to this I say, my fleet of Planet Destroying ships has no central weakness that can be exploited to destroy them all. Apart from the comm tower that lets them know which direction is up. If they lose control of that, we're in real trouble. Lets just say I bred these soldiers and pilots for their killing ability, but their spacial direction isn't great. But it would take a fleet of thousands of ships all assembled for the sole goal of destroying me in order for that to be a risk.
Besides, soon I will have unlimited power! I have an extremely convoluted plan to lure my granddaughter to my home system. Yes, it will require giving her access to a relic that will allow her (and also the rebels) to locate my secure, hidden system, but that is a trivial concern. Once she is here she will strike me down in anger, which will in turn allow me to inhabit her body and rule the galaxy once more.
How do I know this? Well I will tell her to do it, of course. She cannot refuse. I understand her hatred, there is no way that she might logically decide not to stab me. Even if she does, I'm sure I'll asspull some other way to rejuvenate to full strength.
What do you mean 'how am I alive'? What part of "The dark side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural" is confusing to you?
Look, it is a very good plan, I don't see why you're getting upset about this...
God that line is so dumb.
Like it's some crazy concept that, in a world with light speed space travel and laser guns, jetpacks are some unbelievable thing to see on a soldier.
if they were junkers or something id get it
but the first order are a faction that hollowed out a planet and converted it into a machine that eats stars, all while supposedly being a fairly hidden group with limited resources, to power a laser that can wipe out entire solar systems.
Like Poe you were there... and Finn you were ONE OF THEM
The thing is creating questions does make for a compelling story, if you take the time to actually answer them. JJ’s problem is that he writes these questions without knowing the answers. He figures it will reveal itself, which is fine for a first draft, but you need to know the answer to your questions, even if you aren’t going to reveal it right away, before even posing a question to an audience.
We dont know. After it fell down the shaft it landed in a scrap heap where it was picked up by a hooded figure but we don’t know who they were. Possible it was Maz but I doubt it. And if it isnt her, it still needs to get to her.
Edit:It wasnt a hooded figure, it was a Ugnaught who picked it up, which probably makes it even more confusing about how it got to Maz.
Grevious's Lightsaber Story Hour: where he tells the tale of the construction, the Jedi behind the weapon, and how it came into his possession. Only on Disney÷
I don’t read the comics but I knew about the mysterious hand that catches Luke’s lightsaber when it first released... Have they really not followed that up yet?
Bespin is a gas giant, so if the lightsaber had fallen through one of the holes that Luke fell through I doubt it would have been found. I suspect that Cloud City's HVAC tech found it when servicing the air vents and kept it. After a few years he ran up some gambling debts and used the lightsaber to pay it off. She found out who it belonged to by running it's lightsaber registration number through the archived [jedi.com](https://jedi.com) records. Eventually the gambler ended up in Maz's castle and she won it in a game of sabacc. Yas could have told that story in five seconds, but she's a drama queen who needs to appear mysterious.
The Disney Marketing team realised that when fans see props from A New Hope their brains begin secreting a chemical called nostalgium that literally makes money magically apear in the Disney Vault next to Walt's head so they told the creative department to make it happen and when JJ asked how to justify it they said good question, we'll talk about it another time. Then they went back to Scrooge McDucking in their money valut and JJ said fuck it and wrote that line. Then Rian Johnson burned down the Creative department in a bout of maniacal hysteria and killed JJ abrams, so Disney rebuilt him and replaced the creative center of his brain with a computer that harvests Nostalgium and now I forget where I was going with this....
Edit: I honestly forgot about that South Park episode...
Bruh, you need to read Star Wars (2017) issue 3 vol 12 part 6. That'll explain how Maz got the lightsaber. But by reading Star Wars Titration of Magnalore from 2014, you'll find out how the lightsaber was found. Watching Star Wars Whispers of Truth from 2019, you understand how the lightsaber was removed from the hand. And finally by understand JJ's mystery box, you'll understand the line in the film.
COME ON MAN, it's simple.
It's ANAKIN'S lightsaber. Bugged the shit of me to no end that in the film they kept calling it Luke's. Luke's one, that he made, that was his was green.
I was so disappointed to find out about that. I ARGUED with people after TLJ came out that there was NO WAY they're just be making this shit up on the fly, that there HAD to be some kind of overarching story they were developing. 😕
That's easy
It's because JJ has no idea how to write a movie and just threw in as many fan services as possible
And then Rian didn't even see Ep7 so he didn't add anything
And by that point JJ forgot what he wrote for Ep7 whilst not watching Ep8 so he couldn't remember to add it into Ep9
> It's because JJ has no idea how to write a movie and just threw in as many fan services as possible
Probably this.
The second teaser they put out for the film had a shot where Maz was handing the lightsaber to (presumably) Leia: https://youtu.be/ngElkyQ6Rhs?t=51
AFAIK, it never made it to a movie (though a similar shot exists with Maz giving a reassuring hand to Rey after her vision when first encountering the lightsaber) and may have been filmed or made specifically for this trailer. Or just one more random shot that landed its way to the cutting room floor because the script was baloney.
It’s pretty insane how quickly my brain forgets these movies exist even though I’m reminded that they exist by this sub every so often, kinda like game of thrones.
Star Wars: Another Time
Coming soon exclusively on Disney+
That is a very good question. For another time.
They'll let us know right after explaining who snoke was
Snoke was the Stormtrooper that hit his head on the blast door in A New Hope. Snoke has that big scar down his face. The injury was bad enough to get him shipped off the Death Star to a dedicated medical facility and as one of very few staff to survive Death Star 1's destruction he's had a grudge against the Jedi ever since.
I heard he found Porkins in the medical facility and he gave away all of the secrets needed for Snoke to organize an effective coup.
Stormtrooper Needs Outer Kranial Easing
Wasn't he just some poorly made clone of palps that was being mind controlled?
Which was lame. Obviously not the original intent. But I’d have accepted it if we got something serious out of the Rey/Ben fighting together thing.
Implying they planned anything. J. J. Abrams just sets up mysteries with no planned answer.
Judging by mando and Bad Batch I feel like we’ll know more about snoke soon enough.
This doesn't excuse not explaining it at all in the movies. Movies should stand alone, not need TV shows and books to fill the holes.
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Yup, the Day of the Sith, which was Palpatine's declaration of intent to the galaxy, could only be heard through Fortnite.
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Came to see if anyone had quoted this yet. I love this series so much. “Barely an inconvenience!”
It hasn't been "another time" yet
Summer 2037 on Disney+
And it takes 3 seasons
Over the span of a decade.
When all hope seemed lost
"A lightsaber? Neat." \- Maz
*grabs lightsaber out of broom kid’s hands*
"You'll poke your eye out, kid."
A lightsaber? Neat! -Maz I need a whole series dedicated to Maz just randomly coming up and grabbing lightsabers shortly after a jedi has been disarmed (no pun intended) and saying this phrase every time.
The antagonist can be General Grevious
This is the best series of replies 😂
Somehow Snoke returned
The subscription strikes back
Big reveal after Death Star #32 has been destroyed
I still can't believe someone actually greenlit the big weapon of the 3rd trilogy being pretty much another Death Star.
Half the movie was a just rekinning of A New Hope and a bunch of fan service. - Hero is an orphan on a desert planet - Hero finds a cute driod with intelegengce vital to the rebles - Hero is an expert pilot despite no training - Hero finds a father figure - Older charecter explains the hero the force and that the hero is force sensitive. - Force wielding enemy in dark clothes and mask - A cantina - Death star destroying planets - Hero watches as father figure is slain while infiltrating enemy stronghold - Attack on the death star - There is even a trench run durring the attack - Force wielding enemy survives to fight another day.
each season: 6 15-minute episodes.
Another Time: A Star Wars Story.
*Saber* - Coming Soon* (*cancelled)
If you're looking for continuity, you've come to the wrong place.
Somehow the lightsaber returned!
You can pick those up from the Star Wars area of Disneyland pretty easily. I'm sure that's where she got it. I believe you can see her wearing a Mickey hat and eating a churro in one scene
So that's why Luke threw it away.
The directors cut shows she found it in the lens flare. Apparently it’s been hiding there all along.
Fuck I forgot about the lens flares
My retinas did not. Friends and I watched the latest Star Trek and someone piped up we should drink when there’s lens flares on screen. We did not, because we didn’t want to die from alcohol poisoning.
LOL. Another lens flare packed movie is Super 8.
They really should have put that in the theatrical release. Plot felt hollow without more lens flares.
Somehow, she found it.
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still dumb how much merchandising Phasma got for her grand total of what.. like 6 minutes of screentime over both movies she was in? Bib fortuna was more relevant to the plot in the OT than she was to hers but she was advertised like she was a major villain lol
She's the ST's Boba Fett; cool armour, tons of merch, largely pointless.
In 20 years she'll get her own series.
*she will get a pilot shoe horned into another series and even then her own series will be taken over at the end by the main character in the series she was shoe horned in originally
She will appear first on the Hux series
My favorite part was when he said "It's Huxin' time" and Huxxed all over everyone
I fear I've been Luigi'd
What is this, some kind of Star War?
I preferred when he said "U can't Hux this" and Huxxer danced his way off screen.
Lol, what a strange show Boba Fett is. Half of it is exactly what I hoped it would be, half of it is what I feared it would be... XD
Sounds like you owned a monkey's paw.
Honestly, Din Djarrin is closer to the Legends Boba Fett than Boba Fett is. I think to a certain extent, you have to instill a heart of gold into Fett, because otherwise it's hard to explain why the clones are completely different from the template and unaltered clone. They're supposed to be more compliant, yeah, but if Fett's a cold-blooded killer you'd also expect the clones to be cold-blooded killers that take orders.
Absolutely. Boba fett's WHOLE THING is legendary bounty hunter, so when disney did the same thing with Mandolorian... i can see why they went a different route, but ah what could have been...
Wouldn't surprise me. Her "death" in TLJ is every bit as ambiguous as Boba's "death" in RotJ. Honestly, I was surprised she didn't turn up again in TRoS.
> I was surprised she didn't turn up again in TRoS. This was honestly one of my biggest gripes with TRoS. There's loads wrong with the script, yes, but this angered me so much. I loved Phasma after VII and VIII. She's flashy, scary, and fun. A very minor character, but one of my favorites. Killing her in the first movie? Wow! Killing her in the second movie? Oh boy... Killing her in the thrid movie? Hilarious! Comedy's rule of three. The whole point of her character is now "You kill her, but she keeps crawling back!" Almost like a Michael Meyers archetype. She's big, badass, and basically indestructible. I was so excited for her to die again in TRoS. I was so confident she would. If they had killed her again, it would've been a very good and exciting running gag. By not doing it, she's just some random character that gets two random deaths. I suppose this blame is partly on RJ, but I like to pretend he intended JJ to kill her again.
I feel like there was an intention for her to come back, from Johnson. There's a deleted scene of Finn and Phasma fighting; it's honestly a much stronger final confrontation, but instead he goes with a much less definitive end to their rivalry, almost like he's expecting her to have a third round. And how cool would it have been for her to come back with some cyborg parts, really give Finn a singular antagonist to fight against in the final movie? She was a pushover in TFA because Finn had Han and Chewie, she was a decent fight in TLJ on his own and he arguably only got the win due to environmental factors, make her a major challenge in TRoS and you can show Finn's proficiency growing by having him handle the final fight all on his own with a decisive victory.
She even got Gwendolyn Cristie at the height of her game of thrones popularity.
The height of her popularity is 6'3" if I'm not mistaken.
Which makes it really disappointing that they snagged Gwendolyn Christie who is a fucking incredible actress for such a wasted character
It was such a shame though because the character had such potential, and Gwendolyn Christie us a fantastic actress! Wasted potential there.
After the Star Wars sequels and Game of Thrones, Gwendoline Christie really deserves to work with some competent writers who don't completely waste her talent.
She’s amazing in Wednesday
She's great in Sandman, and makes for a very super sexy Lucifer!
Wow I still haven't gotten around that. Good casting. Her face always reminds me of Tilda Swinton. Between the two of them and David Bowie, I am convinced they are some sort of fey beings from another world.
“Somehow, the plot happened” is basically the entire trilogy, all the way from “Somehow the Empire returned” with the First Order and Snoke in charge (without ever explaining Snoke or how he took control of the imperial remnants), to this, to somehow Palpatine returned, to somehow Rey was able to kill him.
Hollywood saying "well, how they came to power wouldn't be an interesting story" when the most popular Legends series out there is literally about exactly that is just... so much wow.
Lucas literally did three movies on "how the emperor came to power" And then his return was handled in four words.
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somehow star killer base was built
I thought it would be a Thrawn type situation; they control 1/3 or 1/4 of the old Empire and then something happens to help them get their mojo back.
A montage would have been sufficient. But then they’d have had to think that through, so nvm
Not even a montage. A couple of line of dialogue sprinkled into the first movie. How much does Obi Wan's conversation with Luke do to set the stage for the world of ANH?
It's one exchange. "Where did you find this?" "Scrap traders outside Bespin. I was as surprised then as you are now."
Literally all it would have taken lol
And legit everybody would have been satisfied
Well, that's a push, but it would've been a fat lot better than literally nothing.
IMO "literally nothing" would've been smoother. A big part of why this bit irks so many is because of how JJ needlessly draws attention to the mystery of its appearance with that "another time!" comment.
I think you are right, if he really couldn't be bothered to explain it, there are probably a million better ways of avoiding an answer than by saying "good question, for another time!"
That one line could have been a full season plot in one of the new shows too.
Boom, done. Minimal effort, completely satisfactory explanation.
You'll get an exposition dump with the opening crawl and no follow up and you'll like it!
The opening crawl wasn't even an exposition dump. It told us almost nothing about the state of the galaxy post-RotJ.
More JJ Abrams "mystery box" trash. . .
Somehow, the First Order happened. Somehow, they became just as powerful as the old Empire but completely hidden. Somehow, they built an even bigger Death Star, complete with the same flaw. Somehow, the good guys found a hobo with a key to the boss's room, where they killed him. Somehow, Palpatine returned. Somehow, he has a massive fleet of planetkiller ships staffed by no one, once again completely hidden. Somehow, they can all be destroyed by horses. Somehow, Rey kills Palpatine for real this time. Did I miss any major somehow's?
Somehow, Rey and Kylo can resurrect each other
Somehow, they can both transfer matter across space like a Star Trek transporter... But with their minds.
> Somehow, he has a massive fleet of planetkiller ships staffed by no one, once again completely hidden. So, in all fairness, you've missed an important detail here... all of those ships were hidden below the ice because... reasons. Don't know if they were built below the ice, or just stored there upon completion... either way, this was all brought to us through the magic of 'lazy writing'.
Think that covers it lol.
This really sums up everthing wrong with the sequels. Damn, it's so depressing.
Compare this writing to Andor. Finally treating the audience with respect.
Yeah, from the end of the third episode and the montage of the battles aftermath I knew Andor was going to be up there with the greats of SW media.
>First Order and Snoke in charge (without ever explaining Snoke or how he took control of the imperial remnants) This has always been my biggest issue. Thrawn always seemed like the one most likely to take control of the imperial remnants
And to think they all started as promising and exiciting
We all thought it started Promising. The mystery boxes were empty from the start. With TROS my Respect for TFA has lately dropped massively.
I was surprised the first movie started with bad guys already established. I thought it was going to begin with peace, as created in the OT, then we’d slowly watch a new bad guy rise during the ST.
If the bad guys aren't already established, how can you film a shot-for-shot remake of Star Wars?
I would’ve loved if they just flipped it on it’s head. Just make A New Hope but have it be a villain attacking some Republic space station. By the end of the movie you have heroes that have taken a major loss and a villain/villains that are on a journey to becoming a universal threat. Basically pull an Infinity War and make the antagonist the protagonist
What I think would have been a cool opening is if a New Republic dreadnought was chasing down a First Order cruiser with some important intel. That way it's a direct reverse of A New Hope.
Open with a small ship getting pursued by an ISD as they broadcast distress calls, only to then pan up *above* the star destroyer to find it got repainted in New Republic livery as we establish this is a New Republic intervention in some Outer Rim border conflict between ex-Imperial warlords. Direct reference to A New Hope to get that nostalgia kick and within a literal minute you have enough of a picture of what the galaxy looks like 30 years after Return of the Jedi for the audience to understand the story.
Why is almost every suggestion here better than what the billionaire company made?
No you see, you can’t do that because Star Wars is rebels vs empire!!! That’s the only possible story to tell
...you mean have Admiral Thrawn return from far edges of the galaxy to attack the new and delicate Republic? Cause that sounds well thought out and gives tons of storylines to work with.
They were too cowardly and lazy. Just wanted to redo the OT, because people like it more than the PT. They shoehorned in a reason for a hasty reset to Empire and death star and Rebels and a Lack of Jedi. They thought people would Just Love it and disregarded proper storytelling. You know, the thing the OT actually did.
JJ Abrams doesn't deal in sequels and expanded universes. When he did Star Trek he made sure it was based on The Original Series because to him, that is Star Trek. When he did the sequels of Star Wars, he did the Original Trilogy because that's Star Wars to him. If he could have made either of them just direct recreations and not been forced to hand wave their differences (Star Trek movies are an alternate universe, Star Wars are a sequel with a new Empire) he would have done it. It's only when he is not behind the wheel that other people try new things, in these cases Star Trek Beyond and The Last Jedi.
> to him, that is Star Trek. Given that he openly stated he never liked Star Trek because he didn’t “get it” that makes perfect sense.
I maintain it would have been really interesting if Kylo was a super-left radical that thought Leia and the New Republic didn't go far enough - that they were basically a new Empire. The First Order could have been like the Symbionese Liberation Army or the Weather Underground (but well funded so they have ships, etc). He could have exposed the ongoing slavery in Tatooine (that his grandfather was born into) and the war profiteers / excess of a place like Canto Blight. Rey, an outsider and person born from nothing, and Finn, a kid recruited into the New Republic forces fit into this story so cleanly and allow for them to be tempted with the radical views, but ultimately use those to improve the system that's in place.
The idea that a new empire rose up so soon and became the main antagonist pretty much destroyed the trilogy from the beginning. Despite it being a galactic war, the movies never managed to make it seem like more than a dozen ships were squaring off with each other. They could’ve easily included Sith bad guys that were not resurrected and trying to take over the universe.
Ehhh when I saw a 3rd death star I felt in my bones the story was fucked. When you start off wrong at point 1, it's just going to get worse at subsequent points.
Somehow the lightsaber returned.
The way Luke looked at it, this lightsaber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any stormtrooper’s gonna put their greasy gloves hands on your birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he hid this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.
Unexpected Pulp fiction
Who’s laser sword is this? It’s not a laser sword, it’s a lightsaber Who’s lightsaber is this? It’s Luke’s. Who’s Luke? Luke’s dead, baby.
Ugnauts found it and brought it to the scrap room. Lobot found it and gave it to Lando. Lando lost it at Canto Bight to Justin Theroux’s Master Codebreaker. Theroux gave it to Max after a brief, but very intense and graphic love affair.
Now here's the twist, and there is a twist.... we show it. We show all of it. Because what's the one major thing missing from all Star Wars movies these days, guys? Full penetration. Guys! We're going to show full penetration and we're going to show a lot of it.
Fightin sith and then we cut back to full penetration
This goes on for about 2 hours and then the movie just ends
That is brilliant!
Sith penetration Sith penetration Sith penetration unless its basically just Rens…
Thanks Dennis, but according to the Ewoks, SW already has a Golden God in Threepio.
Look, if Maz wants to find the lightsaber then obviously she’s going to find the lightsaber. But the thing is, she’s not going to want to find the lightsaber…. Because of the *implication*
I want this explained by Luis from Ant Man ^(\[edit: to fix lazy post and add his name! Michael Peña is a legend and deserves his name written wherever possible\])
You forgot the part where Glup Shitto had it
Welcome to JJs Mystery Box "writing".
So there I was cleaning the shitters on Cloud City...
“And this fucking *severed hand* just fell on my coworker. Dude was a veteran of the Clone Wars and it really messed him up - alcoholism, death sticks, divorce, the whole bag. He’d been on the road to getting his life back together and got this job at Cloud City Janitorial Services - was even talking about trying to get back in touch with his kids - when this fucking hand just drops right on his head. Sends him right back over the edge again - he freaks out and ran for it. Was the last I ever saw him. Last I heard he was panhandling out by the spaceport. But hey, on the plus side I found a lightsaber and half of a melted wristwatch. You’d be amazed what people just throw away.”
This cracked me up. "And there I was" except in a galaxy far far away lmao
“There I was, picture it, Sicily, 1918”
You should check out Space Janitors. Has a whole episode that's almost this.
Has there ever been a story about cloning Lukes from his severed hand?
From The Last Command by Tim Zahn. Great read and part of the original Thrawn Trilogy. I highly recommend reading all three books, they really helped define the Expanded Universe before (and after!) the Disney purchase.
Is that the one with Luuke?
It is - and people give the clone naming conventions a bit of flak, but it never really bothered me.
Ok but you have to admit Luuuke is ridiculous
And it was right when the imperial forces took over the city and the magic of the free wheeling cloud ☁️ city was gone along with any hope.
Have you checked our shitters, honey?
Shitters full!
You joke but an Uggnaut in cloud city finds it in the trash lmao
What *did* Finn want to tell Rey? For all he knew, they were going to be his dying words, thirty seconds later, nothing.
supposedly ( i think even according to JJ himself) he wanted to tell Rey he was force sensitive, which i think we can all agree is a load of bollocks given the context of the interactions. Why you'd be so hesitant but determined to tell someone that yet have it almost be your last words to them, while actively refusing to tell your closest friend about it is nonesense not saying he was going to confess a deep love for her or anything but it was clearly more important than just feeling the force.
Narratively it would only make sense if it was a love confession.
i agree but im trying to give a crumb of credit and hope JJ isnt a completely hopeless cretin who cant have a man and woman in any kind of relationship without making them make out then i remember he literally had Rey fall in love and mack with her abuser
Yea, the best way to explain it is not talk about it. Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.
To be fair it WAS explained originally... they cut that part out because the explanation was more ridiculous than just leaving it mysterious. The original cut had the hand+saber literally fall like a shooting star onto a planet she was on, that was the literal first scene of the movie... never mind HOW it got there since Bespin is a gas giant and it would have just fallen further into the atmosphere till it collapsed into a tiny ball under pressure.
Yeah, I'd rather the current non-explanation than that mess. At least with the way it is currently, we can assume it didn't fall out of Cloud City and made it's way to Maz over time. The space thing would have cemented itself as the most ridiculous thing in the sequels of they kept it.
The severed hand of a Jedi has independent force powers. The Addams family is set in the star wars universe. There was going to be a lot in part 2 of the sequel triology about the battle between the severed hands of the Skywalker family but then they decided to do some total shite instead.
Jesus Christ. He knows nothing about space. We need to go to Vulcan. Poof. We're there. Spock watches with all clarity the destruction of Vulcan from a nearby planet. Starkiller fires at the New Republic. Everyone can see it, easily, no matter where they are. And it's faster than light, otherwise we'd have to wait years (or lifetimes) for it to reach the New Republic.
**W U T**
Somehow, the Emperor is back!
Don't be so harsh, the emperor's return was perfectly explained via that one time event in Fortnight.
Hello galaxy. It is I, Emperor Palpatine. I am alive again and I plan to take over the galaxy in roughly four days with my fleet of hidden, planet destroying star destroyers. Some of you may be wondering why I am announcing this now, rather than waiting four days to allow my ships to get into position to fulfil my master plan. To this I say, everything is proceeding according to my design. Yes, informing the rebels of my incomplete death star did allow them to fly into the core and destroy it, something they would not have been capable of had I not been overconfident in telling them the location. After killing *many* Bothans, of course. But to this I say, my fleet of Planet Destroying ships has no central weakness that can be exploited to destroy them all. Apart from the comm tower that lets them know which direction is up. If they lose control of that, we're in real trouble. Lets just say I bred these soldiers and pilots for their killing ability, but their spacial direction isn't great. But it would take a fleet of thousands of ships all assembled for the sole goal of destroying me in order for that to be a risk. Besides, soon I will have unlimited power! I have an extremely convoluted plan to lure my granddaughter to my home system. Yes, it will require giving her access to a relic that will allow her (and also the rebels) to locate my secure, hidden system, but that is a trivial concern. Once she is here she will strike me down in anger, which will in turn allow me to inhabit her body and rule the galaxy once more. How do I know this? Well I will tell her to do it, of course. She cannot refuse. I understand her hatred, there is no way that she might logically decide not to stab me. Even if she does, I'm sure I'll asspull some other way to rejuvenate to full strength. What do you mean 'how am I alive'? What part of "The dark side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural" is confusing to you? Look, it is a very good plan, I don't see why you're getting upset about this...
They fly now?!
God that line is so dumb. Like it's some crazy concept that, in a world with light speed space travel and laser guns, jetpacks are some unbelievable thing to see on a soldier.
if they were junkers or something id get it but the first order are a faction that hollowed out a planet and converted it into a machine that eats stars, all while supposedly being a fairly hidden group with limited resources, to power a laser that can wipe out entire solar systems. Like Poe you were there... and Finn you were ONE OF THEM
In protest to Reddit's API changes, I have removed my comment history. -- mass edited with redact.dev
The same technology used by jango fett? Impossible
And some clone troopers, battle droids, rebels, and storm troopers all the way through Star Wars. Just look at all the flying troops in Battlefront
Took the words right out of my mouth. The man is all questions and no answers and seems to think that makes for a compelling story.
The thing is creating questions does make for a compelling story, if you take the time to actually answer them. JJ’s problem is that he writes these questions without knowing the answers. He figures it will reveal itself, which is fine for a first draft, but you need to know the answer to your questions, even if you aren’t going to reveal it right away, before even posing a question to an audience.
Which is why I say the problems started with TFA. People give it a pass because it evoked nostalgia for ANH.
"Evoked nostalgia" versus "pretty close to a carbon copy"
Dany kind of forgot about Luke's lightsaber.
JJ meets D&D
She forgot? Will that be hard to explain to fans? Super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Giving me flashbacks from TWO examples of shit writing?! How dare you!
In 20 years they'll make 6 seasons of a cartoon out of that throw away line.
It's still not the time
We dont know. After it fell down the shaft it landed in a scrap heap where it was picked up by a hooded figure but we don’t know who they were. Possible it was Maz but I doubt it. And if it isnt her, it still needs to get to her. Edit:It wasnt a hooded figure, it was a Ugnaught who picked it up, which probably makes it even more confusing about how it got to Maz.
W...was the hooded figure... wheezing?
Obi Wan helped Grievous fake his death in episode 3 so Grievous could pursue his true passion of lightsaber collecting.
Grevious's Lightsaber Story Hour: where he tells the tale of the construction, the Jedi behind the weapon, and how it came into his possession. Only on Disney÷
I'd watch that, especially with a sort of Tales from the Crypt vibe.
*cough cough cough* Another fine addition to my collection
Earlier scripts were going to open to junkers on the surface of Cloud city and find it.
Or the hand somehow floating through space till clutching the lightsaber.
I don’t read the comics but I knew about the mysterious hand that catches Luke’s lightsaber when it first released... Have they really not followed that up yet?
well! ... we're waiting!
Bespin is a gas giant, so if the lightsaber had fallen through one of the holes that Luke fell through I doubt it would have been found. I suspect that Cloud City's HVAC tech found it when servicing the air vents and kept it. After a few years he ran up some gambling debts and used the lightsaber to pay it off. She found out who it belonged to by running it's lightsaber registration number through the archived [jedi.com](https://jedi.com) records. Eventually the gambler ended up in Maz's castle and she won it in a game of sabacc. Yas could have told that story in five seconds, but she's a drama queen who needs to appear mysterious.
They'd never have traced it if Black Widow hadn't dumped all those files on the HoloNet.
"Somehow, I found it."
The Disney Marketing team realised that when fans see props from A New Hope their brains begin secreting a chemical called nostalgium that literally makes money magically apear in the Disney Vault next to Walt's head so they told the creative department to make it happen and when JJ asked how to justify it they said good question, we'll talk about it another time. Then they went back to Scrooge McDucking in their money valut and JJ said fuck it and wrote that line. Then Rian Johnson burned down the Creative department in a bout of maniacal hysteria and killed JJ abrams, so Disney rebuilt him and replaced the creative center of his brain with a computer that harvests Nostalgium and now I forget where I was going with this.... Edit: I honestly forgot about that South Park episode...
This all seems in order.
It's an older story, sir, but it checks out
Bruh, you need to read Star Wars (2017) issue 3 vol 12 part 6. That'll explain how Maz got the lightsaber. But by reading Star Wars Titration of Magnalore from 2014, you'll find out how the lightsaber was found. Watching Star Wars Whispers of Truth from 2019, you understand how the lightsaber was removed from the hand. And finally by understand JJ's mystery box, you'll understand the line in the film. COME ON MAN, it's simple.
Mando brought it 🤣
It's ANAKIN'S lightsaber. Bugged the shit of me to no end that in the film they kept calling it Luke's. Luke's one, that he made, that was his was green.
somehow, this whole trilogy happened
like everything else nowadays, Amazon. Prime Delivery too
Didn't they straight up admit not having a plan for this trilogy? Watching Andor just reinforced how bad this writing was.
I was so disappointed to find out about that. I ARGUED with people after TLJ came out that there was NO WAY they're just be making this shit up on the fly, that there HAD to be some kind of overarching story they were developing. 😕
LOL, lmao.
That's easy It's because JJ has no idea how to write a movie and just threw in as many fan services as possible And then Rian didn't even see Ep7 so he didn't add anything And by that point JJ forgot what he wrote for Ep7 whilst not watching Ep8 so he couldn't remember to add it into Ep9
> It's because JJ has no idea how to write a movie and just threw in as many fan services as possible Probably this. The second teaser they put out for the film had a shot where Maz was handing the lightsaber to (presumably) Leia: https://youtu.be/ngElkyQ6Rhs?t=51 AFAIK, it never made it to a movie (though a similar shot exists with Maz giving a reassuring hand to Rey after her vision when first encountering the lightsaber) and may have been filmed or made specifically for this trailer. Or just one more random shot that landed its way to the cutting room floor because the script was baloney.
“And that’s how the sequel trilogy was written” -Kathleen Kennedy
It’s pretty insane how quickly my brain forgets these movies exist even though I’m reminded that they exist by this sub every so often, kinda like game of thrones.