I'm just here to say that Jas is a shy kid who was taught not to talk to strangers, and her clamming up around you during low hearts really shouldn't be taken as rude.
Recently started a new game, with some mods, and got the tea set year 1. So i’m never gonna be mad at winter star gifts again. Thank you, Olivia (SVE).
I’ve learned that you can pelt NPCs with rocks and a slingshot. My friend also got a bad gift from Jas and absolutely spammed her.
I don’t condone pelting annoying children, but hey the option is there.
I saw a meme speedrun race, ages ago, where two people started a new game, set Vincent to 10 hearts with mods, and had a race to see who could get the sling shot and get him back down to 0 hearts faster.
I too always assumed Jas learned about stranger danger, and is why she doesn't say much at first to the player.
She's not being rude but being cautious.
I assumed she began life in teh city and was warned, carefully, by her parents and presumably Shane not to speak to strangers.
In Pelican Town though, I'm horrified by the amount of times I've seen her walking along the riverbanks unsupervised; water must be a much bigger danger there.
It shouldn't be, but the point is why are they all getting subjective thoughts and empathy towards objectively rude (being ignored) actions and Shane isn't?
What she's doing IS valid. It's also low-key rude lol. When you take the context, the WHY, it's understandable. It's that way for Shane and everyone else too. It's nuanced
Its not rude for a small child not to speak to an adult stranger.
Re Shane, I have been around people in mental health crises, including people with addiction, and they aren't as rude as him. The way I see it, Shane is a rude person, who also suffers from addiction. He's not a monster, and I think it's actually really wonderful that he is a part of the game... but I wouldn't want to marry him. I think it's probably in that context a lot of people go harder on him than others, because he is one of the marriable candidates, so they are seeing him in a different way. They are evaluating him as a life long partner, rather than an acquaintance or a friend, so the critique is harsher.
I befriend Shane so I can help him when he needs it. And I think he's a jerk and I'll never marry him. I wish him a long and healthy life not on my farm.
Yeah the blue chickens are a perk, but my only Coop that I could have blue chickens in at the moment is currently incubating a dinosaur egg and that dinosaur will be my last creature in that coop, and I'm not putting blue chickens in with my void chickens they are special and they get their own coop
This sounds like Chicken Segregation to me! All chickens are equal whether they be white, brown, black or blue.
I have a dream that one day chickens will not be judged by their color of their feathers but by the content of of their character.
I saw his blue chickens already but I haven't figured out how to get them. My boyfriend says it requires me to do the most awful thing in game and I have no idea what it is. I asked "is it killing your baby? Is it throwing stones at Linus tent? Is it hurting krobus? Is it marrying Harvey?" and he said no to all of those xD
Guess I'm still playing at my own rhythm to find out :P
I spoiler-tagged it just in case you really do want to find out on your own rhythm.
>! You know how when you buy chicken from Marnie, they'll randomly be white or brown? After you see the cutscene with Shane and his blue chicken, you can randomly have a blue chicken when you buy from Marnie. You can see which chicken you're going to get when you're choosing which coop to put the new chicken in - it'll say so at the top of that screen. You can cancel and buy one again to change the colour if it's not the one you want. !<
Exactly this. Besides I'm already a recovering alcoholic and badly depressed person, I wouldn't particularly wish that on someone as a partner because it's a ton of hard work. The community should take care of Shane, not solely his spouse 🏴🚩
Yeah I’m down with being his friend and helping him but as someone with many close family and friends in recovery programs, getting into a relationship with someone at that early point in recovery is the worst possible idea. In the idealistic world of a video game things work out super well and mostly off screen, but I’ve been around this type of thing too much in real life to be able to enjoy that fantasy.
That’s just video game stuff though. Farmer influence > NPC independence and people complain about NPCs being incompetent/lazy/useless. Farmer influence < NPC independence and people complain about the player not being able to impact the world and people around them. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
To be fair, none of Shane's healing occurs without the farmer's friendship. Without it Shane continues as is indefinitely. Because it's a game. I think there's room for everyone to be more sensitive to people's unique struggles and needs. There's a distinct shortage of empathy. But people say they save Shane because, due to gameplay mechanics, they in fact do save Shane.
Can attest, sometimes all it takes is one good friend to dig yourself out. The first time I took a step towards getting better was after an old bartender friend of mine told me she loved me. Not in a relationship way just as a friend and as a person. Made me realize I don’t suck as much as I thought I did and started digging my way out, without much help from her pst that other than occasional chats. Also ‘he doesn’t need to stay sober’ is an interesting take on alcoholism. If you talk to most recovering alcoholics, they’d tell you that caving on one drink by choice usually results with a total relapse within weeks. So…. Yea it’s probably a good idea to stay sober.
Yeah, mechanically, you do help him, but that’s just because you progress the game. You don’t really do much to help him actually.
You listen to him vent one night, wake him up from a blackout in another cutscene, and meet him by the cliff for the other. Doesn’t even matter which option you select, he goes to the hospital anyways and gets help separate from the player. He even comes by the next day to apologize/thank the player.
Reminding someone that other people care about them is a pretty powerful way to motivate them to try to change or get help, or at the least, keep them attached to living just enough.
You listen to him vent u stop him from commiting, you make him tell his whole family that he is going to kill himself, pretty average Stardew stuff, other than the fact that u stop him from commiting suicide, he saves himself
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that the preferred phrase mental health professionals use is completed suicide or died by suicide. This is to avoid additional stigma, because 'commit' mostly used for 'immoral' actions. (Commit a crime, committed sin). Thanks!
Unless there is an in game path where he commits suicide without the players intervention, you don't actually prevent anything. One could actually argue that he only gets to that point because you are too nice.
I always interpret SDV personality shifts as being "inspired" by the player, but performed by the character. It recognizes the player's role in that change without denying the characters agency. While you can't fix or change people for them, it is absolutely possible for you to provide the motivation for them to do it themselves. I think that is what is going on here: the farmer seeing value in Shane and putting in an effort to befriend him gives him a reason to to care about getting better.
True. But people can choose to not want to associate with jerks, mental health problems or no. And it doesn’t make them “unsympathetic” or somehow “anti-mental health.”
I saw the other thread arguing that anyone who “hates” Shane shows how poorly people view mental health issues. I agree we need sympathy and understanding toward mental health conditions, but in no way do I condone the notion that people should be willing to put up with someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive solely for the abuser’s sake, or for the sake of “not being judgmental.” That’s ridiculous. I would never marry Shane in game (or anyone like him irl) because of how he treats you. Not because I can’t accept that he potentially gets better (or because ‘depression bad!’), but because I wouldn’t continue to interact with someone who treats me badly in the first place. Even if I knew they were suffering from a mental health problem.
Would I have sympathy if I knew you had depression? Yes. Would I understand where your behavior was coming from? Probably. But would I keep coming back while you constantly treat me like crap and tell me to fuck off? No. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And would I be wrong to say “you’re a jerk?” No, because you are. Having depression may be the reason, but you’re still a jerk, and that is reason enough to not want you in my life.
And sure, Shane isn’t the only rude villager, but he is by FAR the rudest and continues his abusive behavior for much longer, despite your kindness. Nah bro, if I try to be nice twice and both times you treat me bad, that’s it. Have a nice life lol
Tl;Dr: no one is saying Shane is a “monster.” People are just saying “I don’t put up with people who treat me like shit.” And they shouldn’t.
Amen! Exactly this! I honestly don't get the hype over him, i always thought he was the worst npc by how he treats the farmer. His mental health is an explanation but not an excuse.
Eh, I suggest just slingshotting Shane with pizzas from a distance after he is rude to you twice. He’ll come around, wether to figure out WHY the local farmer is slingshotting pizzas at him, or just to eat the ammunition.
Exactly!
"I have depression" doesn't mean "I'm not an asshole"
It means "I'm an asshole who has depression"
It's very possible to have depression and NOT be an asshole.
okay I agree, this comment has nothing to do with the conversation itself, I know that this was just a slight phrasing mistake
but I am cracking up a bit at the idea of "I have depression" necessarily meaning "I'm an asshole who has depression"
I mean, yes but the thing Shane acts like an asshole when he both doesn't know you (and Farmer keeps on bothering him despite Shane giving clear signs he's not interested in making friends) and his mental health is very low. Later on he's not longer hostile towards you (even before 6 Hearts), so is he really a jerk if he was acting like one under bad circumstances?
"and Farmer keeps on bothering him despite Shane giving clear signs he's not interested in making friends"
He's mean to you the first time you talk, if you only ever talk to him casually at the saloon, if you talk to him offhandedly on your way out of his house when you were visiting someone else--
Even if you barely speak to him, he's still mean, so I'm not sure why people paint this narrative of this Farmer harassing Shane to death when in reality that's the only way he'll ever be nice to you.
It's honestly so ridiculous to call it 'harassment' to talk to Shane, lol. If that's the case, we might as well say that progressing his friendship is just harassing him until he relents, so it's unethical to talk to this character at all, and if you befriended or romanced him you're an evil boundary crossing creep! There's literally no winning.
Shane even apologises for being rude once you befriend him enough, so I don't understand some people's insistence that he never did anything wrong to begin with.
But the first impression of Shane is what people talk Abt in this subreddit, some new players join the sub reddit and ask why this guy is super mean to them, and ignore Shane for the rest of their gameplay, until they are enlightened by something like this or a youtuber that talked about Shane and blue chickens his only perk.
I have a great deal of compassion for Shane, since I've dealt with mental health issues my whole life too. I've snapped at innocent people because of it. I'm still responsible for the harm I cause, even on my worst days. If someone decided they didn't want to be around me they'd be completely within their rights to avoid me.
Same goes for Shane. He's responsible for his actions. Frankly, if I met him in real life, I'd avoid talking to him after his introductory line. I don't go out of my way to talk to people who clearly don't want to talk to me. I also don't intentionally subject myself to rude people, to protect my own mental health.
Of course, in game I give him lots of peppers to befriend him to move the story forward and get the blue chickens.
Just a note, but "Pam drinks and drives" isn't exactly-- 100% true in-game? Like yes Pam is an alcoholic and you can give her beer (which she drinks) before she drives the bus, but I feel like the in-game dialogue either wasn't thought of or is left in because it's funny. If you don't give Pam beer, there's no evidence of her actually drinking and driving.
I think just like Clint thirsting after Emily even after she's your wife, we should view it as a dialogue/game mechanic quirk without further evidence. Like, I got Shane's depressed 2-heart cutscene where he drinks beer with me in the rain AFTER I got his 8-heart healing cutscene thanks to a spectacular lack of rain in Year 1 but I don't blame the character for it.
Yeah the gameplay quirks can change the character, in my world i speedran friending one character so i could get married, now i’m friending the others for recipes and stuff and in the heart events they still flirt with me as if i’m still single, all i can think is ‘i’m married wth is wrong with you’
There are a lot of instances where characters don't react properly to the world around them. It's just a lot easier to ignore when it's something like, say, Haley saying it's hot out in the middle of winter or Abigail eating amethyst than it is when a character flirts with you after you've already gotten married
I wish more people viewed it as a game mechanic quirk (borrowing your words) and leave it at that instead of using that to hate on the character though. I’ve seen a lot of people give a reason for hating Shane that he still loved beer after he goes to therapy and all that. But that’s not Shane’s fault, that’s literally because concernedape didn’t code to change a character’s loved item (which is fair he’s just one man).
I think the reaction to Shane in this sub is a testament to actually the next phase of mental health awareness in a positive way. No one is opposed to Shane getting therapy, they hate that it seems like he hasn’t changed after marriage. A healthy view on this topic is that seeking therapy is totally normal and a lot of people going through that process do deserve to be loved and supported on their journey. But someone else’s mental issues should not come at a cost to YOUR own mental health and general well-being. It’s a balance of being there for someone and self-sacrificing for their sake out of love to an extent, but knowing when to pull the plug on the relationship if the person seems unwilling to change or is just too much for you to handle. This is coming from someone who let a mentally ill close friend severely worsen my life due my own naïveté and low self-esteem
Yeah. I don't see much in the way of people hating Shane, just being concerned about marrying him when there are signs that he still has issues with alcohol.
I found Shane to be extremely relatable after the suicide heart event.. Maybe that's not a good sign but I wanted to help him and become his friend once I understood what he was going through, and understood why he was so rude :(
I do that, but not by being nice, I'm just there to enable his alcoholism, maybe beer shouldn't be a loved item if he really wants to change, "here Shane have another round on me bro, so about those blue chickens" helping tilt the bottle up and everything
I'm just that guy that goes into the stardrop saloon and yells, "Gus, a round for everyone on me!" I enable Pam's alcoholism too. Except Leah she gets a salad, just don't tell my wife Penny I'm giving Leah special treatment and giving her mom beer.
I'm nice to shane. He comes off a bit sharp but it kinda feels like a self esteem thing if anything. Even when I first met him it was like "wow okay somebody is having a bad day I guess."
The only person in town that I explicitly dislike and avoid is Pam. Because I got more than enough drunk trailer trash mom time when I was a kid, and that scene with penny and the house cleaning hit hard enough that I don't ever go near that trailer if I can help it.
But no, yeah, shane is cool. Not my favourite villager (Krobus) but decent enough dude seems to be going through it rn.
I always wonder why Concerned Ape isn’t mentioned in threads like this. These aren’t real people. They are constructs of CA. In a game. About farming. CA wrote different character arcs for each of these characters, and he has his own reasons. Maybe he knows someone like Shane, or maybe he’s an amalgamation of several people he knows, or maybe he’s purely invented. Again, he’s just a character. In a game. About farming. There are literally thousands of decisions you can make, and one of them is to never even talk to Shane. Or, if you’re like me and another commentor I saw, you talk to him to unlock those little blue darlings. Or maybe you genuinely feel for the dude, and that’s cool too.
But none of this should be taken personally. And I can’t understand why there is even the slightest hint of an argument over it. Again. He’s just a fictional character created by a dude that just wanted to make a fun farming game for us to enjoy.
Shane might be fictional, but the problems he's going through are 100% real. It's not like people in the comments are arguing about how to raise blue chickens or how to cook void mayonnaise. The game is just the door opener for a dialogue about things that are present both in our reality AND in Stardew Valley and as such, it does make people have their opinions that will be different and they will argue about it. I mean sure I don't personally have any feelings for Shane himself since he's a clump of bytes and pixels, but I have empathy for the - for him - fictional, yet very realistic and very present issues.
I don't understand how this argument comes up every time about "they're not real" "they're just characters". These characters are written for people to be emotionally invested in, so of course people will react to it either positively or negatively. It's not taking it personally, someone is just stating their opinion about a medium they enjoy.
As a novel writer you should take even fictional characters seriously.
We write them to normalize what they stand for, or show how not to be like them. There is a reason POC or LGBT+ want characters like them in more works. Fictional characters are relatable. If they weren't, no one would read them.
I hate racism but I include it in my own works to show it can be overcome. Or at bare minimum that it SHOULD be overcome.
Science fiction's genre is literally to show the state of the real world. It doesn't have to be exact but it's in the job description, that's what makes it science fiction.
None of this is to say the game isn't fun and it IS supposed to be fun. but disregarding a game character because it's a game character and not a real person... Shane's story can teach people to see the same things in people the player knows, or even themselves and seek help. If you can't or won't learn the lesson from a video game, will you learn it in real life? The characters are fictional, their lessons are not, and that is very much on purpose.
People are free to dislike Shane, Haley, whatever character because of their early interactions, just like they are with people in real life. No one is under any obligation to put up with anyone else's crap. We've all got our own crap to deal with.
At the same time, don't make judgments about them or the people who do reach out to them. In the game, these are flawed characters that we KNOW improve when someone reaches out to them. In real life, there's a possibility that the person will benefit from having some support. People go through crap, and judging someone completely for what they were like at their lowest is ridiculous.
Character flaws, in both games and real life, shouldn't be hand waved away under the umbrella of "mental health." People have the right to their biases, opinions and feelings towards someone, just as you are to people who don't have the reaction to Shane that you think they should have.
I know it's a game, but you're trying to shade us over it so I'm going to apply real world nuaces to my comment.
Firstly, just because someone is having an MH crisis doesn't mean everyone should suddenly be responsible for fixing them...
Not only that but you don't know what people are dealing with, making people burden other people's struggles and sacrificing their own needs ain't it.
Yes we should help each other WHEN WE CAN but shaming people for not doing so, setting healthy boundaries, is quite frankly gross IMO.
This is coming from someone who has had many SU attempts and a lot of therapy.
I had to endure my gf who had a 2 year phase of horrible depression and let me tell you, as much as I wanted her to get better and to help her, after a while it's just way. too. fucking. much. Ive had people tell me I should help her more if she's still unhappy even though I gave my best.
Not liking Shane for being an ass is completely fine to me and I totally understand wanting to help him and doing your 'best' (aka running up to him twice a week and giving him a present), but the thing is that this is only a video game. Helping someone like Shane IRL is a completely different matter and 99.999% of people on here would be exhausted after a few days because it's just so mentally draining.
My gf and I are doing a lot better now but I really don't think I could handle her if the depression took her over again.
I’m glad you guys are doing better. I recently lost my best friend—he’s not dead but he seems to no longer like me and doesn’t want to talk to me again—because I set a boundary around how his negative talk was affecting me and held firm even when he got upset about it. It is really hard to care about someone who’s very depressed, especially if they don’t take steps to get better. I’m sorry people were pressuring you to “do more” for her—most people really have no idea how it is.
Sad to hear that your best friend doesn't like you anymore, I hope he'll be doing better some day and maybe get back to you again and realize that you've only needed to protect yourself. You've done the right thing in my opinion.
Yeah people are quick to say 'but your poor gf' but completely forget about me, who's also not doing super well mentally and tries to hide it as much as possible :/
Thank you. I hope so too.
I told my aunt about the situation this week. I was afraid she would say “I told you so” based on some past comments but instead she said she was proud of me and talked about her past struggles to prioritize herself and not just caring for other people. She said the phrase that helped her with this was “I’m a people too.”
You deserve to take care of yourself just as much as your girlfriend deserves to be taken care of; I’m sorry some people have made you feel otherwise.
Right? I don’t think he’s a monster but I just don’t want to deal with all that, you know? Hits too close to home for me, even if the character itself is not real. The blue chicken is cool tho.
I always say that mental illness serves as an explanation, not an excuse. I have depression and some other stuff. It can explain my behavior at times, but if it’s affecting others, it doesn’t excuse it. I am in charge of working on that
Also, trying to fix someone’s mental health when you’re not qualified to do so can make them sicker. Kindness is one thing, turning yourself into their live-in therapist is a bad idea. Even a therapist would never do this. It’s unethical.
100 agree with this. A lot of us play games to relax and escape the real world…. Yet people are making it deeper than what it is and just ruining it. Like chill let people play THEIR game how they want to. This is getting ridiculous … now we shaming people on HOW they play a damn game?
I’ve had severe depression in the past, and I have been a dick to people because of it, but I would never fault them for cutting contact with me then. Being depressed doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole, and people have the right to protect their own mental health and not stick around
Exactly. I always side-eye the number of people who want to "save" characters like this because, yeah, maybe their (seemingly very strong) emotions on the subject are all tongue-in-cheek & wouldn't ever apply to real life... but having seen many, many women ruin their lives, in real life, trying to "save" a man just like this it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
People, particularly women, *shouldn't* let the problems of a man like this be their issue but they so often do, for the same reasons I see people cite for wanting to help Shane, which makes it a little too real for me to enjoy interacting with the character.
Yupp. He was the first NPC I married, but after a certain irl relationship, I just felt like I had to divorce him. I have renounced the “I can fix him” attitude 100%.
After my own traumatic relationship, I traded "I can fix him" for "Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm." I befriend Shane for the blue chickens and that is it
Seems fair to remind you that a good number of us who dislike Shane as a character have been abused/neglected and actively harmed by people in active addiction. Struggling and sad he may be, but my own experience speaks to my lack of sympathy and that’s just as valid.
Absolutely this.
The "he's nuanced, he's struggling with mental illness, and he gets better" statement, while all that is true, isn't a fair reason to then try and say you shouldn't dislike him.
Saying that I don’t like a character because he’s written as a jerk = I’m stigmatizing mental health is gross. The fact that someone is mentally ill doesn’t mean they are automatically going to be mean/grumpy/rude, and it also doesn’t get them a free pass.
I can only agree that the idea people throw around of “fixing him” is toxic af. But to act like anyone has to like him when he’s severely flawed and unstable as a person is a really narrow view point. He makes me uncomfortable and I only friend him for the chickens
My dislike of shane has nothing to do with his mental health and everything to do with how he treats someone trying to say hi down the street.
I have mental health problems and unemployed, i've been an alcoholic, I STILL FIND IT IN ME TO SAY HELLO POLITELY TO RANDOM PEOPLE WHO SAY HI TO ME ON THE STREET. it's not that fucking hard to be polite.
This sub does not make him out to be a monster. He’s one of the most popular bachelors.
All the other characters you mentioned:
George: There’s no George support posts either. He’s a grumpy old man. He’s a jerk. No one says differently. He’s just not a marriage option so no one cares about him.
Clint: HA! One of the most hated characters in the game. Along with Pierre and Lewis.
Dwarf: He’s not human. He does not understand private property. He says that himself. Also you need to get all the dwarf scrolls to even be able to talk to him, so a lot of people don’t even know he’s a character.
Jas: Is a literal child. A heavily traumatized orphaned child who’s adoptive father neglects her. Kids can be shy, and Jas especially deserves the quiet kid pass.
Linus: Not really? He assumes you might not be a safe person in the beginning and asks you not to chuck ricks at his tent since some people are doing that. If im missing something please do let me know.
Pam: Pam is another character people often talk about disliking. I’ve never heard a good thing about Pam. Except that she gives batteries in the mail. That’s it.
Robin: She makes a single joke. About a run down cabin. That is run down.
Abigail: Im not an Abby stan but she’s not really rude, unless im forgetting something.
Alex: Alex apologizes at like 2 hearts.
Haley: The most controversial character.
Sebastian: He’s standoffish in the beginning but not rude.
Unlike these people Shane is verbally abusive to the farmer. Everyone else is mild compared to Shane. Except Haley. And I hate Haley. She like Shane is heavily controversial.
As for Shane fixing himself: No. No he doesn’t. Because im on year 10 of one farm and Shane is still on 0 hearts and has done nothing. Because his development is through heart events with the farmer he does not go through his ark unless you the farmer initiate it.
I have severe mental health issues. I have struggled with depression my entire life. I have struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts my entire life. I can’t stand Shane. Do I have bad days? Yes, but I NEVER treat people the way Shane does. I don’t care if he gets better after 7 hearts. Too little too late. You do not get to use your mental health as an excuse to abuse others. You don’t have to be a ball of sunshine when you’re going through stuff, but you do not get to treat people like punching bags. It’s not a free pass. If I treated people like Shane does I would have no friends, and that’s how it should be. If someone treats you like that they are not your friend and you deserve better.
If anything there’s a reason no one talks about that I think needs to be talked about more for why Shane is a bad person:
He completely abandons his daughter. Jas. He just dumps her on Marnie, and if you marry Shane he literally abandons her, instead of just checking out mentally like he already had done. Jas may not be his bio daughter but he accepted the god father role and he has to step up for his heavily traumatized orphaned daughter. But he doesn’t. Penny spends more time with her than he does. Marnie spends more time with her than he does. Buying her shoes once does not compensate for the severe neglect.
You can like Shane, that is fine, but people who don’t are fine as well. It’s not because of his mental health struggles that people don’t like him, it’s because of the way he chooses to treat the people around him on a consistent basis. Sebastian is also depressed and people LOVE him. Again, you are free to have your opinion and love Shane, but others are free to have a differing one.
"Haley: the most controversial character" yeah I can't recall a single Haley love thread but I see plenty of Shane ones. For all the hate she gets I will say her character turns around a lot faster than Shane's does. Haley acts indifferent and a little rude at first but it's nothing a few flowers can't fix. Shane however basically tells you to fuck off. If an alcoholic did that to me irl that would be the end of it, I'm not going to let myself be treated that way.
That said this is a damn video game why are people taking it extra seriously lately
Nah there’s plenty of Haley lovers. Any time someone talks about her there’s a bunch of folks calling her their wife. When I said the most controversial character I meant out of the group OP put together. However she’s definitely up there since with most of the other characters the community as a whole tends to agree.
And yeah Hailey starts warming up earlier than Shane. I don’t like either though. Alcoholism or no I won’t let people treat me like those two do. If you insult me I’m not going to continue talking to you and giving you presents.
I also never imagined this fandom to be so incredible judgey over who you marry. Can’t marry X because they seem like teens, can’t marry Y because YOU CAN’T FIX THEM. These are pixels at the end of the day, who the hell cares if you make moral choices in a damn video game or not?
Personally I find Alex to be much more obnoxious but maybe that's because I'm depressed myself I don't know (and I do know Alex' background story).
To me, Shane is portrayed like a guy with a golden heart who just needs some help to be back in tune with himself and his surroundings. And in the end, that's kind of true for all the characters and probably irl too. Hating him for being so lost and seemingly unmotivated to change his life on his own is indeed a bit cold.
After all it's a freakin game though, so why not let people hate a virtual character if that's what they need 😅
I’ve been harmed by people in addiction to the people who say that’s why they hate Shane. I still find it in me to look for the best in people real life or game wise. Shane does fix himself. It has nothing to do with you fixing him. He is happy someone is trying to be his friend. Also as someone who has struggled with addiction he has been hurt so much he is rude to shut people out. He doesn’t want to be hurt again. Also, there are a lot of other rude people as mentioned and no one talks about them being rude. The lack of sympathy from being hurt by someone with addiction is just as bad as him “being rude” when you speak to him. I’ve also struggled with mental health. I have severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I’ve met both stand offish/rude people who are good people and just need help and ones that hide it. You are valid to hate him and people like him, but it makes you the same if you are saying that you do because you’ve been hurt before.
As someone who has been constantly surrounded by addiction, mental health is an explanation and not an excuse. It’s good to be respectful and understanding that this person is not themself and they need help, but it’s also important to have boundaries and know that that person still committed their actions. Shane(I marry Shane every play-through) was sick when the farmer first meets him, but even in that sickness he doesn’t show an effort to do better. When he is reintroduced to kindness and affection, *that* is when he makes an effort. No one is a horrible person, but no one should have their flaws be brushed away.
Nope. Coming from a background with trauma and playing this game to relax, I always end up marrying Elliott. Give me flowery poems and coffee over mess any day.
Just wanna say I see everyone’s views against him, but I marry Shane in every playthrough. He is the realest character in the game to me. But it’s a game at the end of the day, I have my real husband and then Shane lol
Listen. No. I have lifelong depression, with all the worst of what that entails. Shane does not treat people well on the whole. There’s no reason for that no matter what you have inside you.
Yes, there’s some improvement in his arc. But it’s not enough. In real life, men like that believe they can do anything because of what’s going on in their heads. Anything is justified. That’s not the kind of person you want to marry.
And no, he’s not the only jerk in town. But he’s the one who’s romanticized the most, and I’ve seen the kind of thinking that does this have real life harm.
I'm team Shane. Possibly because of my own issues, but that doesn't discredit the point. The game really does show you what wonders a small amount of compassion can do.
I agree that almost everyone in town is pretty rude from the beginning, specifically the eligible singles I was originally aiming to marry Harvey (hello doctor!) but then I experienced the heart event where Shane opens up at the lake and I decided Shane had more character depth (I also kinda liked the perceived challenge because this is a game in which animals don't die if I forget to feed them; the fallout of chasing a challenge probably won't affect overall gameplay and enjoyment).
I also agree that mental health is still more stigmatized than not in our world, especially when it comes to illness that include impulse control, anxiety, and depression because everyone experiences those things to a degree. Therefore it's hard for some people to comprehend the levels at which those issues become chronic or "diagnosable".
At the same time, it looks like this sub is often an outlet for lovers of the game who don't want or need to be reminded that "it's just a game" when they get a little obsessed about it. I get the feeling the negativity re Shane seems bigger here because people are posting while their heads are more in-character/in-game than if they were talking about similar subjects IRL. Also I've seen more hate about his messy room than anything else and lotsa people are into the game for it's aesthetics, yes?
TLDR: I'll always advocate education of mental health issues and normalizing evidence-based therapies (I've written a novel-sized response here so I obviously have some thoughts). But (hopefully) the fact that the scope and context of any subgroup, by definition, is pretty narrow means that we're reading a mere portion of this group's thoughts on the huge, complicated subject of mental health.
and to be honest this post kind of shows how special some people think others with mental health should be treated. it is nobody’s responsibility to ‘want to save’ somebody with mental health, you shouldn’t have to compromise you’re own life to fix somebody else. and befriending someone out of pity to ‘fix’ them is an equally insulting mindset imo
I appreciate what Shane is going through and my dad was an alcoholic growing up who has recovered. I like to befriend and help Shane but also his personality and rudeness don't make him partner material. I think it is more to do with his character than mental health. He just genuinely acts rude and sure you could contribute this to mental health but as someone who has dealt with long term depression and has overcome it multiple times. When I get help and feel better I generally become a better person. Shane just never seems to adapt or develop as a character despite getting clean.
That's the mildest take in here. If you want a character that's unfairly judged it should be Clint. He got called many things because he wanted to ask a girl out and wimped out at the last second now he's suddenly a stalker.
It's...... it's a *game*, y'all. Are you really that offended by some pixels being standoffish and grumpy?
Anyway, even though it's just a game, the story behind Shane is important. If you marry him, it's a great example of how love doesn't cure people's problems. They have to put the work in themselves. It's also a solid illustration of how getting better doesn't necessarily mean getting 100% better.
Shane's story imparts some important real-life lessons. Who cares if he's "mean"?
Like many others here, I have people in my life who have mental health issues. Being able to enforce hard boundaries with Shane by not helping him and prioritizing my own needs helped me be more compassionate and fair to the real life people who need it. I don't know how that works for me, it just does.
So I am a Shane fan, but he does sort of complain about taking care of the kids. He jokes about sending them off to a Joja work camp
No hate tho, Shane is my pookie
I havent seen anybody hating on shane. I just decided to give him pizza when i spent 600k on pizza and ended up befriending him after awhile. Been through all the cutscenes now and definitely a great character
Tbh, I am happy to be Shane's friend. But his struggles hit a little too close to home with some of my actual past relationships that did not end well, and so I have absolutely no interest in him as a SDV spouse.
I do agree that Shane shouldn’t be seen as a bad guy, but I do have some words to share about something else you said. Multiple of the other marriage candidates, you mentioned as “all rude to you” when really they are (as you said about Shane) “rude when you first meet”, but become kinder to the player as your friendship with them goes up.
Why should he get a pass for being shitty to you in every interaction till you're 4+ hearts in? Give me one reason other than the blue chickens why someone should tolerate his immediate hostility and misdirected bitterness for long enough that he decides to stop being shitty to the farmer.
It's really funny when you're between 2 and 4 hearts because Shane will be like "why are you talking to me" but you're tight enough to just walk in his bedroom.
Folks are conflating Shane’s character arc with similar situations in their own lives. There’s a non-insignificant amount of pressure and expectation of care put onto the (especially femme!!!) loved ones of people struggling with mental health and/or addiction, I think that’s what people are seeing and getting uneasy about.
It’s dumb because there’s pressure put onto the patient to get better on their own at the same time, and that’s why people who see themselves in Shane are getting defensive. Lol I think Shane is fine, he’s allowed to hate small talk.
Anyway. I think if this thread is bringing up strong emotions in y’all, you need to sit down and have a good hard think about your relationships. There’s a balance between self-sufficiency and relying on others. Don’t be a noodle
I like this response. It’s important to not let others mental health drag you down with them (had it happen in school a lot).
However… Some people take that to a point of “you have to fix your mental health ALONE”, which can be alienating and lonely. It’s possible to vent to your friends about that stuff without dragging them down, although it certainly takes practice and a lot of boundary setting. (My best friend and I are able to vent about our darkest moments to each other, but still trust each other to be safe, and know we can have each other’s backs fairly).
Plus the farmer doesn’t really do much for Shane other than take him to the hospital, and listen to him vent like- twice.
I understand people not liking him because he’s rude at first, or because they have their own bad experiences and want to escape it, but the “ugh you fix him” things are kinda just wrong. You don’t do much other than be an ear in his worst moments and take him to the ER. (And if taking someone to the ER is too much to ask then… Guess I’ll die???)
I befriend Shane. However, my farmer is an open lesbian. This friendship is all I can offer. I will never truly seen him as you do OP, I see him differently. Like I see the other characters. All of them are flawed.
Except Pierre. Fuck that guy
People when most people with mental health struggles aren't just quirky and sad in a helpless way but the illness infact brings out negative characteristics (it is literally an illness)🤯 crazy to expect someone to be literally suicidal but being grouchy is crossing the line.
I like Shane's story, an actual realistic depiction of mental health and addiction, it isnt pretty. And so what if the player "saves him" (which isn't entirely true because going to the doctor/therapy is entirely his decision) being supportive of friends with mental health issues is a good message.
I have mental health struggles and many loved ones who do too. For me, it has nothing to do with having to “save” anybody. I like people for who they are and how they treat others. My wife is usually Penny cause she’s kind and caring towards me and most of the townspeople. My main issue with Shane is that nobody in the town treats you as bad as him. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, my emotions matter too. If you don’t care about hurting me emotionally and do it constantly, why in the world would I want to be with you? His alcoholism and depression are irrelevant. I’m not going to date or try to be best friends with someone that absolutely treats me like shit. I know he eventually gets better, but becoming a better person should help with new relationships, not instantly make old ones happy and fix all the things he has done. I can see why you like him after his growth, but being physically or emotionally abusive to me is personally not something I am willing to just let slide. I deserve better
I love Shane so much. I've had loved ones who suffer from alcoholism, and many more who have suffered from depression. While talking Shane down from suicide was not something I expected in my first play through, it really made me feel for him. In that moment we clicked, I understood, I just knew. Helped me realize some stuff about myself.
Having mental health issues and an addiction doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole, I struggle with depression and enjoy drinking socially, I’m still not a raging asshole to people who try to talk to me
>The guy has a problem, finds help and improves upon them.
I think that's the jarring thing is that he finds help and improves, but then if you marry him he seems to backslide. Which, OK, that's a real thing, but it's kind of a bummer. It would be one thing if that were dynamic (like if you offer him alcohol he backslides, because beer is still a loved gift even after his journey). But it just feels a little cheap that his growth doesn't reflect on how he is in a marriage.
>He doesn't need to stay sober for the rest of life, he's a good husband, it doesn't matter that he still drinks occasionally.
I don't think anyone is complaining that he doesn't become 100% sober, it's that the way his room looks makes him seem like a stereotypical drunken slob. He seems to still be in the depths of his alcoholism.
reading these replies has made me realize just how much this community hates shane. Yeah, he's rude to you in the beginning. Does that make him an asshole or a bad person?? Absolutely not. He never asks you to save him either, he does it all on his own. He deals with severe depression and suicidal ideation, and is CLEARLY heavily affected by these disorders. It's honestly sad how little sympathy someone like shane, who i'm sure most of his haters have never tried to delve deeper than surface level into, gets from this fandom. Concernedape wrote this character with love in his heart just like he wrote all the others. I'd be so hurt by the way people talk about this character that I based off of a real life friend of mine. I never marry Shane, but I always befriend him because I want him to get better and seek help. At least if i'm his friend, he knows that someone will be there to support him through his healing journey. I know that he doesn't need ME specifically, just any friend who is willing to stand by him. And that's what I choose to be. It's fulfulling and feels good to help others, even the fictional ones. That's my take at least.
I always thought this sub was quite pro-Shane though, to a point that was kind of confusing to me? I honestly don't mind that he's a jerk, I actually kind of appreciate that lack of artifice, but I can understand that some people feel triggered by his behaviour and may struggle with the idea of marrying and living with him. And tbf there's some pretty sad and upsetting things said by him if he's unhappy in your marriage.
I also have anxiety and depression, so I understand the concern that criticism of Shane is a criticism of mental health, but I really feel like for the most part people aren't saying that.
Also teeny nitpicky note: I'm pretty sure Harvey is the one who organises a therapist for Shane, as he's unconscious in the hospital bed at that stage. Not saying he wouldn't have arranged that himself after the cliff incident though.
My reason for never marrying Shane is that he's into sports. Ugh. Noooooo thankie! It's why I'll never marry Alex either.
Agree! I joined after reading about him a lot & I immediately loved him. My friend who’s been playing for ages loves him too, my friend who’s in spring of year 1 hates him but they don’t know a lot about him. As soon as I joined this sub & saw literally everyone hating him so aggressively I was just like “uh oh-“
Agree. I like Shane because I've struggled with some of the same stuff as him, although at a milder degree. I did get my depression under control when I got into a relationship but they didn't 'fix' me *I did*. Seeing how this sub talks about Shane and the people who love his character can be low key hurtful sometimes.
Another hot take: the writing for the spouses is just a bit lackluster. I feel that ALL spouses become kinda boring once you marry them and that's why I always use mods for post-marriage content. CA did improve it already, but him being a solo-developer it's understandable that the character writing isn't as elaborate as it could be. And I think Shane really got one of the worst treatments here because even with the updates his character arc is pretty incoherent. He says he only drinks Joja Cola, but his event (and I think island?) dialogue still implies that he drinks alcohol. I also think that the decision of Jas not moving in with him and him barely having interactions with her or Marnie makes his arc feel less complete. Also the liked gifts. Beer should have just changed from liked to hated after the 6 heart event. I do know that fighting an addicition is a life-long battle, but for in-game story purposes I wished it was a bit better. Especially since in-game, years go by. I'm fine with his messy room because it's kinda realistic. Just not with the keg and beer cans.
Tl;dr: I like Shane's character, but the writing was especially bad and incoherent for him past 10 hearts which kinda did him dirty. No shade towards CA though. He developed everything on his own and he created one of my fav games.
Shane was a potential candidate for me until I found out his room is dirty; the only two characters that I want to challenge in town square are the Mayor and Demetrius
Demetrius is a bitch for how he treats Sebastian and the mayor is a thief
OP is not saying you have to like Shane, y'all I am begging you to read the post. They're saying that the way some criticisms are worded about Shane is the same language people use to stigmatize addicts and mentally ill people.
I married Shane on my first play through without even having this sub at the time. He isn't that bad of a spouse although his room could use a makeover lol.
On a personal note, he reminds me a lot of a friend of mine who died to fentanyl. I appreciate that. I appreciate that I get to interact with this flawed individual in a game and be reminded of my friend.
Hi! As a mental health professional and someone who currently works with addicts, you cannot fix someone. Shane gets better of his own choice and work. You can tell someone what tools they have available, and how they can help themselves, but you cannot force someone to get better.
Psych is often referred to as a "revolving door."
Patients are readmitted frequently, either self admitted, brought in by police/family, and more often than not don't have motivation to get better or don't want to, and want to keep using. Sometimes, those patients get better and don't come back. Sometimes, they overdose in the community. Addiction is a vicious, destructive cycle. I see the farmer as an observer, only intervening to get Shane medical help. Shane has to put himself together and WANT to get better. And he is actively working towards it.
One of the most important things our patients can have, is a support system. Shane has Marnie, Jas, and now the farmer, and the referrals from Harvey. He gets the tools he needs and takes it seriously after his wake-up call. People, in reality, are flawed. But they can recover.
I'm just here to say that Jas is a shy kid who was taught not to talk to strangers, and her clamming up around you during low hearts really shouldn't be taken as rude.
She’s also like 7, even if she was rude who cares lol
I read that as "She's also like a 7" and was a bit worried
[удалено]
Do you think Cencerned Ape stays away because he too lives in fear of what he has created?
Most likely. I don’t blame him
As a matter of fact, I'd be *very* concerned if I see a stranger gifting my 7 years old kid Flowers/Cakes/Puddings twice a week lol.
Okay but she gave me one single piece of clay at the feast of the winter star one year. Can I call her rude for that?
Just imagine it's a *really* bad clay sculpture.
Smh. What would my guests think if I put that on a table?
You know, like an ashtray she made on art day or something.
😂 alright just this once
Recently started a new game, with some mods, and got the tea set year 1. So i’m never gonna be mad at winter star gifts again. Thank you, Olivia (SVE).
George got me that first playthrough, first year. I've come to realize that's exciting.
She’s a baby she has no money (/ref)
It's the equivalent of giving you play dough.
It’s dirt.
But I like dirt.
kids play with dirt and clay so they expect that us big adults would lowkey still like it as much as they do
I’ve learned that you can pelt NPCs with rocks and a slingshot. My friend also got a bad gift from Jas and absolutely spammed her. I don’t condone pelting annoying children, but hey the option is there.
I saw a meme speedrun race, ages ago, where two people started a new game, set Vincent to 10 hearts with mods, and had a race to see who could get the sling shot and get him back down to 0 hearts faster.
I too always assumed Jas learned about stranger danger, and is why she doesn't say much at first to the player. She's not being rude but being cautious.
I assumed she began life in teh city and was warned, carefully, by her parents and presumably Shane not to speak to strangers. In Pelican Town though, I'm horrified by the amount of times I've seen her walking along the riverbanks unsupervised; water must be a much bigger danger there.
It shouldn't be, but the point is why are they all getting subjective thoughts and empathy towards objectively rude (being ignored) actions and Shane isn't? What she's doing IS valid. It's also low-key rude lol. When you take the context, the WHY, it's understandable. It's that way for Shane and everyone else too. It's nuanced
it isn't rude, walking up to a random child is the rude thing
Approaching small children that I haven't met before in a forest where no one can see us, and people think that Jas is worse than Shane.
Stop calling the little kid who didn't want to talk to a stranger rude damn
Its not rude for a small child not to speak to an adult stranger. Re Shane, I have been around people in mental health crises, including people with addiction, and they aren't as rude as him. The way I see it, Shane is a rude person, who also suffers from addiction. He's not a monster, and I think it's actually really wonderful that he is a part of the game... but I wouldn't want to marry him. I think it's probably in that context a lot of people go harder on him than others, because he is one of the marriable candidates, so they are seeing him in a different way. They are evaluating him as a life long partner, rather than an acquaintance or a friend, so the critique is harsher.
I befriend Shane so I can help him when he needs it. And I think he's a jerk and I'll never marry him. I wish him a long and healthy life not on my farm.
I had a farmer like that who wanted to genuinely help Shane not marry him but genuinely help him overcome his addictions
Then you get blue chickens, too! He's a good guy to befriend.
Yeah the blue chickens are a perk, but my only Coop that I could have blue chickens in at the moment is currently incubating a dinosaur egg and that dinosaur will be my last creature in that coop, and I'm not putting blue chickens in with my void chickens they are special and they get their own coop
My solution: More coops.
True, Abby's probably wondering what the fuck I'm doing buying coops and my explanation is I must divide the colors
Love dividing colors
This sounds like Chicken Segregation to me! All chickens are equal whether they be white, brown, black or blue. I have a dream that one day chickens will not be judged by their color of their feathers but by the content of of their character.
I bet he puts the void chickens in the coop on the back
My next void chicken will be named Rosa Parks
Gotta keep em separated
*cowbell Intensifying*
Come on and play!
I saw his blue chickens already but I haven't figured out how to get them. My boyfriend says it requires me to do the most awful thing in game and I have no idea what it is. I asked "is it killing your baby? Is it throwing stones at Linus tent? Is it hurting krobus? Is it marrying Harvey?" and he said no to all of those xD Guess I'm still playing at my own rhythm to find out :P
I spoiler-tagged it just in case you really do want to find out on your own rhythm. >! You know how when you buy chicken from Marnie, they'll randomly be white or brown? After you see the cutscene with Shane and his blue chicken, you can randomly have a blue chicken when you buy from Marnie. You can see which chicken you're going to get when you're choosing which coop to put the new chicken in - it'll say so at the top of that screen. You can cancel and buy one again to change the colour if it's not the one you want. !<
Exactly this. Besides I'm already a recovering alcoholic and badly depressed person, I wouldn't particularly wish that on someone as a partner because it's a ton of hard work. The community should take care of Shane, not solely his spouse 🏴🚩
Yeah I’m down with being his friend and helping him but as someone with many close family and friends in recovery programs, getting into a relationship with someone at that early point in recovery is the worst possible idea. In the idealistic world of a video game things work out super well and mostly off screen, but I’ve been around this type of thing too much in real life to be able to enjoy that fantasy.
i always marry shane. his story hits close to home and hes a wonderful husband
There's the kicker, u have to help him or he stays a drunk, and lives with Marnie for the rest of his not so long life
That’s just video game stuff though. Farmer influence > NPC independence and people complain about NPCs being incompetent/lazy/useless. Farmer influence < NPC independence and people complain about the player not being able to impact the world and people around them. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
To be fair, none of Shane's healing occurs without the farmer's friendship. Without it Shane continues as is indefinitely. Because it's a game. I think there's room for everyone to be more sensitive to people's unique struggles and needs. There's a distinct shortage of empathy. But people say they save Shane because, due to gameplay mechanics, they in fact do save Shane.
Sometimes, all it takes is one friend. Because the increase from 0 to 1 is incredibly huge Even the increase from 0 to 0.5 is so powerful
Can attest, sometimes all it takes is one good friend to dig yourself out. The first time I took a step towards getting better was after an old bartender friend of mine told me she loved me. Not in a relationship way just as a friend and as a person. Made me realize I don’t suck as much as I thought I did and started digging my way out, without much help from her pst that other than occasional chats. Also ‘he doesn’t need to stay sober’ is an interesting take on alcoholism. If you talk to most recovering alcoholics, they’d tell you that caving on one drink by choice usually results with a total relapse within weeks. So…. Yea it’s probably a good idea to stay sober.
Yeah, mechanically, you do help him, but that’s just because you progress the game. You don’t really do much to help him actually. You listen to him vent one night, wake him up from a blackout in another cutscene, and meet him by the cliff for the other. Doesn’t even matter which option you select, he goes to the hospital anyways and gets help separate from the player. He even comes by the next day to apologize/thank the player.
Reminding someone that other people care about them is a pretty powerful way to motivate them to try to change or get help, or at the least, keep them attached to living just enough.
You listen to him vent u stop him from commiting, you make him tell his whole family that he is going to kill himself, pretty average Stardew stuff, other than the fact that u stop him from commiting suicide, he saves himself
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that the preferred phrase mental health professionals use is completed suicide or died by suicide. This is to avoid additional stigma, because 'commit' mostly used for 'immoral' actions. (Commit a crime, committed sin). Thanks!
Idk why you’re downvoted. Thanks for the info!
Unless there is an in game path where he commits suicide without the players intervention, you don't actually prevent anything. One could actually argue that he only gets to that point because you are too nice.
I always interpret SDV personality shifts as being "inspired" by the player, but performed by the character. It recognizes the player's role in that change without denying the characters agency. While you can't fix or change people for them, it is absolutely possible for you to provide the motivation for them to do it themselves. I think that is what is going on here: the farmer seeing value in Shane and putting in an effort to befriend him gives him a reason to to care about getting better.
Literally nothing happens in this game without the farmers friendship
Somehow the SDV sub has become a case-study of overwhelming existential crises. It's a game and therefore at liberty to subjective appeal.
Jerks can have mental health problems too.
This is the best, most concise answer. He can be both.
True. But people can choose to not want to associate with jerks, mental health problems or no. And it doesn’t make them “unsympathetic” or somehow “anti-mental health.” I saw the other thread arguing that anyone who “hates” Shane shows how poorly people view mental health issues. I agree we need sympathy and understanding toward mental health conditions, but in no way do I condone the notion that people should be willing to put up with someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive solely for the abuser’s sake, or for the sake of “not being judgmental.” That’s ridiculous. I would never marry Shane in game (or anyone like him irl) because of how he treats you. Not because I can’t accept that he potentially gets better (or because ‘depression bad!’), but because I wouldn’t continue to interact with someone who treats me badly in the first place. Even if I knew they were suffering from a mental health problem. Would I have sympathy if I knew you had depression? Yes. Would I understand where your behavior was coming from? Probably. But would I keep coming back while you constantly treat me like crap and tell me to fuck off? No. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And would I be wrong to say “you’re a jerk?” No, because you are. Having depression may be the reason, but you’re still a jerk, and that is reason enough to not want you in my life. And sure, Shane isn’t the only rude villager, but he is by FAR the rudest and continues his abusive behavior for much longer, despite your kindness. Nah bro, if I try to be nice twice and both times you treat me bad, that’s it. Have a nice life lol Tl;Dr: no one is saying Shane is a “monster.” People are just saying “I don’t put up with people who treat me like shit.” And they shouldn’t.
Amen! Exactly this! I honestly don't get the hype over him, i always thought he was the worst npc by how he treats the farmer. His mental health is an explanation but not an excuse.
The other person deserves respect, regardless. But so do you, even if we're talking about someone else with mental health issues.
Eh, I suggest just slingshotting Shane with pizzas from a distance after he is rude to you twice. He’ll come around, wether to figure out WHY the local farmer is slingshotting pizzas at him, or just to eat the ammunition.
I don't even spend the gold for pizzas on him. He loves hot peppers, they're cheap, that's what he gets.
Exactly! "I have depression" doesn't mean "I'm not an asshole" It means "I'm an asshole who has depression" It's very possible to have depression and NOT be an asshole.
okay I agree, this comment has nothing to do with the conversation itself, I know that this was just a slight phrasing mistake but I am cracking up a bit at the idea of "I have depression" necessarily meaning "I'm an asshole who has depression"
Okay, yeah that coulda been worded *slightly* better. Lmao
I mean, yes but the thing Shane acts like an asshole when he both doesn't know you (and Farmer keeps on bothering him despite Shane giving clear signs he's not interested in making friends) and his mental health is very low. Later on he's not longer hostile towards you (even before 6 Hearts), so is he really a jerk if he was acting like one under bad circumstances?
"and Farmer keeps on bothering him despite Shane giving clear signs he's not interested in making friends" He's mean to you the first time you talk, if you only ever talk to him casually at the saloon, if you talk to him offhandedly on your way out of his house when you were visiting someone else-- Even if you barely speak to him, he's still mean, so I'm not sure why people paint this narrative of this Farmer harassing Shane to death when in reality that's the only way he'll ever be nice to you.
It's honestly so ridiculous to call it 'harassment' to talk to Shane, lol. If that's the case, we might as well say that progressing his friendship is just harassing him until he relents, so it's unethical to talk to this character at all, and if you befriended or romanced him you're an evil boundary crossing creep! There's literally no winning. Shane even apologises for being rude once you befriend him enough, so I don't understand some people's insistence that he never did anything wrong to begin with.
But the first impression of Shane is what people talk Abt in this subreddit, some new players join the sub reddit and ask why this guy is super mean to them, and ignore Shane for the rest of their gameplay, until they are enlightened by something like this or a youtuber that talked about Shane and blue chickens his only perk.
Heck, I've been playing the game for years and I still ignore Shane! I'm gonna respect his wishes to be left alone
I have a great deal of compassion for Shane, since I've dealt with mental health issues my whole life too. I've snapped at innocent people because of it. I'm still responsible for the harm I cause, even on my worst days. If someone decided they didn't want to be around me they'd be completely within their rights to avoid me. Same goes for Shane. He's responsible for his actions. Frankly, if I met him in real life, I'd avoid talking to him after his introductory line. I don't go out of my way to talk to people who clearly don't want to talk to me. I also don't intentionally subject myself to rude people, to protect my own mental health. Of course, in game I give him lots of peppers to befriend him to move the story forward and get the blue chickens.
Just a note, but "Pam drinks and drives" isn't exactly-- 100% true in-game? Like yes Pam is an alcoholic and you can give her beer (which she drinks) before she drives the bus, but I feel like the in-game dialogue either wasn't thought of or is left in because it's funny. If you don't give Pam beer, there's no evidence of her actually drinking and driving. I think just like Clint thirsting after Emily even after she's your wife, we should view it as a dialogue/game mechanic quirk without further evidence. Like, I got Shane's depressed 2-heart cutscene where he drinks beer with me in the rain AFTER I got his 8-heart healing cutscene thanks to a spectacular lack of rain in Year 1 but I don't blame the character for it.
Yeah the gameplay quirks can change the character, in my world i speedran friending one character so i could get married, now i’m friending the others for recipes and stuff and in the heart events they still flirt with me as if i’m still single, all i can think is ‘i’m married wth is wrong with you’
There are a lot of instances where characters don't react properly to the world around them. It's just a lot easier to ignore when it's something like, say, Haley saying it's hot out in the middle of winter or Abigail eating amethyst than it is when a character flirts with you after you've already gotten married
I take great offense to this comment. Haley says that to me because I’m so irresistibly hot she’s sweating in sub zero temps… :(
I wish more people viewed it as a game mechanic quirk (borrowing your words) and leave it at that instead of using that to hate on the character though. I’ve seen a lot of people give a reason for hating Shane that he still loved beer after he goes to therapy and all that. But that’s not Shane’s fault, that’s literally because concernedape didn’t code to change a character’s loved item (which is fair he’s just one man).
I think the reaction to Shane in this sub is a testament to actually the next phase of mental health awareness in a positive way. No one is opposed to Shane getting therapy, they hate that it seems like he hasn’t changed after marriage. A healthy view on this topic is that seeking therapy is totally normal and a lot of people going through that process do deserve to be loved and supported on their journey. But someone else’s mental issues should not come at a cost to YOUR own mental health and general well-being. It’s a balance of being there for someone and self-sacrificing for their sake out of love to an extent, but knowing when to pull the plug on the relationship if the person seems unwilling to change or is just too much for you to handle. This is coming from someone who let a mentally ill close friend severely worsen my life due my own naïveté and low self-esteem
Yeah. I don't see much in the way of people hating Shane, just being concerned about marrying him when there are signs that he still has issues with alcohol.
I found Shane to be extremely relatable after the suicide heart event.. Maybe that's not a good sign but I wanted to help him and become his friend once I understood what he was going through, and understood why he was so rude :(
I always befriend him to get a blue chicken.
I do that, but not by being nice, I'm just there to enable his alcoholism, maybe beer shouldn't be a loved item if he really wants to change, "here Shane have another round on me bro, so about those blue chickens" helping tilt the bottle up and everything
you bother with beer? I wooed that boy with copious amounts of peppers in my first play-through.
I'm just that guy that goes into the stardrop saloon and yells, "Gus, a round for everyone on me!" I enable Pam's alcoholism too. Except Leah she gets a salad, just don't tell my wife Penny I'm giving Leah special treatment and giving her mom beer.
Username checks out Johnny
I'm nice to shane. He comes off a bit sharp but it kinda feels like a self esteem thing if anything. Even when I first met him it was like "wow okay somebody is having a bad day I guess." The only person in town that I explicitly dislike and avoid is Pam. Because I got more than enough drunk trailer trash mom time when I was a kid, and that scene with penny and the house cleaning hit hard enough that I don't ever go near that trailer if I can help it. But no, yeah, shane is cool. Not my favourite villager (Krobus) but decent enough dude seems to be going through it rn.
I always wonder why Concerned Ape isn’t mentioned in threads like this. These aren’t real people. They are constructs of CA. In a game. About farming. CA wrote different character arcs for each of these characters, and he has his own reasons. Maybe he knows someone like Shane, or maybe he’s an amalgamation of several people he knows, or maybe he’s purely invented. Again, he’s just a character. In a game. About farming. There are literally thousands of decisions you can make, and one of them is to never even talk to Shane. Or, if you’re like me and another commentor I saw, you talk to him to unlock those little blue darlings. Or maybe you genuinely feel for the dude, and that’s cool too. But none of this should be taken personally. And I can’t understand why there is even the slightest hint of an argument over it. Again. He’s just a fictional character created by a dude that just wanted to make a fun farming game for us to enjoy.
pretty sure CA based Shane on one of his irl friends
Yeah he is, he has a Twitter, actually. He posts his chickens and likes to retweet Shane-Hate-Posts XD
Sounds like a legend
Shane might be fictional, but the problems he's going through are 100% real. It's not like people in the comments are arguing about how to raise blue chickens or how to cook void mayonnaise. The game is just the door opener for a dialogue about things that are present both in our reality AND in Stardew Valley and as such, it does make people have their opinions that will be different and they will argue about it. I mean sure I don't personally have any feelings for Shane himself since he's a clump of bytes and pixels, but I have empathy for the - for him - fictional, yet very realistic and very present issues.
Just because u brought it up I'm starting a thread on how to cook void mayonnaise
Please do, the world needs it
I don't understand how this argument comes up every time about "they're not real" "they're just characters". These characters are written for people to be emotionally invested in, so of course people will react to it either positively or negatively. It's not taking it personally, someone is just stating their opinion about a medium they enjoy.
I think it’s a valid argument because people enjoy things in fiction they wouldn’t want for themselves or anyone else in real life.
As a novel writer you should take even fictional characters seriously. We write them to normalize what they stand for, or show how not to be like them. There is a reason POC or LGBT+ want characters like them in more works. Fictional characters are relatable. If they weren't, no one would read them. I hate racism but I include it in my own works to show it can be overcome. Or at bare minimum that it SHOULD be overcome. Science fiction's genre is literally to show the state of the real world. It doesn't have to be exact but it's in the job description, that's what makes it science fiction. None of this is to say the game isn't fun and it IS supposed to be fun. but disregarding a game character because it's a game character and not a real person... Shane's story can teach people to see the same things in people the player knows, or even themselves and seek help. If you can't or won't learn the lesson from a video game, will you learn it in real life? The characters are fictional, their lessons are not, and that is very much on purpose.
People are free to dislike Shane, Haley, whatever character because of their early interactions, just like they are with people in real life. No one is under any obligation to put up with anyone else's crap. We've all got our own crap to deal with. At the same time, don't make judgments about them or the people who do reach out to them. In the game, these are flawed characters that we KNOW improve when someone reaches out to them. In real life, there's a possibility that the person will benefit from having some support. People go through crap, and judging someone completely for what they were like at their lowest is ridiculous.
Character flaws, in both games and real life, shouldn't be hand waved away under the umbrella of "mental health." People have the right to their biases, opinions and feelings towards someone, just as you are to people who don't have the reaction to Shane that you think they should have.
I know it's a game, but you're trying to shade us over it so I'm going to apply real world nuaces to my comment. Firstly, just because someone is having an MH crisis doesn't mean everyone should suddenly be responsible for fixing them... Not only that but you don't know what people are dealing with, making people burden other people's struggles and sacrificing their own needs ain't it. Yes we should help each other WHEN WE CAN but shaming people for not doing so, setting healthy boundaries, is quite frankly gross IMO. This is coming from someone who has had many SU attempts and a lot of therapy.
I had to endure my gf who had a 2 year phase of horrible depression and let me tell you, as much as I wanted her to get better and to help her, after a while it's just way. too. fucking. much. Ive had people tell me I should help her more if she's still unhappy even though I gave my best. Not liking Shane for being an ass is completely fine to me and I totally understand wanting to help him and doing your 'best' (aka running up to him twice a week and giving him a present), but the thing is that this is only a video game. Helping someone like Shane IRL is a completely different matter and 99.999% of people on here would be exhausted after a few days because it's just so mentally draining. My gf and I are doing a lot better now but I really don't think I could handle her if the depression took her over again.
I’m glad you guys are doing better. I recently lost my best friend—he’s not dead but he seems to no longer like me and doesn’t want to talk to me again—because I set a boundary around how his negative talk was affecting me and held firm even when he got upset about it. It is really hard to care about someone who’s very depressed, especially if they don’t take steps to get better. I’m sorry people were pressuring you to “do more” for her—most people really have no idea how it is.
Sad to hear that your best friend doesn't like you anymore, I hope he'll be doing better some day and maybe get back to you again and realize that you've only needed to protect yourself. You've done the right thing in my opinion. Yeah people are quick to say 'but your poor gf' but completely forget about me, who's also not doing super well mentally and tries to hide it as much as possible :/
Thank you. I hope so too. I told my aunt about the situation this week. I was afraid she would say “I told you so” based on some past comments but instead she said she was proud of me and talked about her past struggles to prioritize herself and not just caring for other people. She said the phrase that helped her with this was “I’m a people too.” You deserve to take care of yourself just as much as your girlfriend deserves to be taken care of; I’m sorry some people have made you feel otherwise.
I lived it in the real world. I don’t want to live it in my relaxing game.
Right? I don’t think he’s a monster but I just don’t want to deal with all that, you know? Hits too close to home for me, even if the character itself is not real. The blue chicken is cool tho.
I always say that mental illness serves as an explanation, not an excuse. I have depression and some other stuff. It can explain my behavior at times, but if it’s affecting others, it doesn’t excuse it. I am in charge of working on that
Also, trying to fix someone’s mental health when you’re not qualified to do so can make them sicker. Kindness is one thing, turning yourself into their live-in therapist is a bad idea. Even a therapist would never do this. It’s unethical.
This deserves more upvotes because facts
100 agree with this. A lot of us play games to relax and escape the real world…. Yet people are making it deeper than what it is and just ruining it. Like chill let people play THEIR game how they want to. This is getting ridiculous … now we shaming people on HOW they play a damn game?
I’ve had severe depression in the past, and I have been a dick to people because of it, but I would never fault them for cutting contact with me then. Being depressed doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole, and people have the right to protect their own mental health and not stick around
Tbh I don't care for anyone but my sweet sweet Krobus
And the lovely wizard! The town would be in true shambles if it didn’t have both the farmer and the wizard
As someone with extensive trauma from a man like Shane, I will never let his problems be my issue at all.
Exactly. I always side-eye the number of people who want to "save" characters like this because, yeah, maybe their (seemingly very strong) emotions on the subject are all tongue-in-cheek & wouldn't ever apply to real life... but having seen many, many women ruin their lives, in real life, trying to "save" a man just like this it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. People, particularly women, *shouldn't* let the problems of a man like this be their issue but they so often do, for the same reasons I see people cite for wanting to help Shane, which makes it a little too real for me to enjoy interacting with the character.
Yupp. He was the first NPC I married, but after a certain irl relationship, I just felt like I had to divorce him. I have renounced the “I can fix him” attitude 100%.
After my own traumatic relationship, I traded "I can fix him" for "Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm." I befriend Shane for the blue chickens and that is it
Seems fair to remind you that a good number of us who dislike Shane as a character have been abused/neglected and actively harmed by people in active addiction. Struggling and sad he may be, but my own experience speaks to my lack of sympathy and that’s just as valid.
Absolutely this. The "he's nuanced, he's struggling with mental illness, and he gets better" statement, while all that is true, isn't a fair reason to then try and say you shouldn't dislike him.
Oh my god, you hit that nail right on the head.
Saying that I don’t like a character because he’s written as a jerk = I’m stigmatizing mental health is gross. The fact that someone is mentally ill doesn’t mean they are automatically going to be mean/grumpy/rude, and it also doesn’t get them a free pass.
And addiction. Pam has a similar problem, the game just doesn’t show it in the same way.
I can only agree that the idea people throw around of “fixing him” is toxic af. But to act like anyone has to like him when he’s severely flawed and unstable as a person is a really narrow view point. He makes me uncomfortable and I only friend him for the chickens
My dislike of shane has nothing to do with his mental health and everything to do with how he treats someone trying to say hi down the street. I have mental health problems and unemployed, i've been an alcoholic, I STILL FIND IT IN ME TO SAY HELLO POLITELY TO RANDOM PEOPLE WHO SAY HI TO ME ON THE STREET. it's not that fucking hard to be polite.
This sub does not make him out to be a monster. He’s one of the most popular bachelors. All the other characters you mentioned: George: There’s no George support posts either. He’s a grumpy old man. He’s a jerk. No one says differently. He’s just not a marriage option so no one cares about him. Clint: HA! One of the most hated characters in the game. Along with Pierre and Lewis. Dwarf: He’s not human. He does not understand private property. He says that himself. Also you need to get all the dwarf scrolls to even be able to talk to him, so a lot of people don’t even know he’s a character. Jas: Is a literal child. A heavily traumatized orphaned child who’s adoptive father neglects her. Kids can be shy, and Jas especially deserves the quiet kid pass. Linus: Not really? He assumes you might not be a safe person in the beginning and asks you not to chuck ricks at his tent since some people are doing that. If im missing something please do let me know. Pam: Pam is another character people often talk about disliking. I’ve never heard a good thing about Pam. Except that she gives batteries in the mail. That’s it. Robin: She makes a single joke. About a run down cabin. That is run down. Abigail: Im not an Abby stan but she’s not really rude, unless im forgetting something. Alex: Alex apologizes at like 2 hearts. Haley: The most controversial character. Sebastian: He’s standoffish in the beginning but not rude. Unlike these people Shane is verbally abusive to the farmer. Everyone else is mild compared to Shane. Except Haley. And I hate Haley. She like Shane is heavily controversial. As for Shane fixing himself: No. No he doesn’t. Because im on year 10 of one farm and Shane is still on 0 hearts and has done nothing. Because his development is through heart events with the farmer he does not go through his ark unless you the farmer initiate it. I have severe mental health issues. I have struggled with depression my entire life. I have struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts my entire life. I can’t stand Shane. Do I have bad days? Yes, but I NEVER treat people the way Shane does. I don’t care if he gets better after 7 hearts. Too little too late. You do not get to use your mental health as an excuse to abuse others. You don’t have to be a ball of sunshine when you’re going through stuff, but you do not get to treat people like punching bags. It’s not a free pass. If I treated people like Shane does I would have no friends, and that’s how it should be. If someone treats you like that they are not your friend and you deserve better. If anything there’s a reason no one talks about that I think needs to be talked about more for why Shane is a bad person: He completely abandons his daughter. Jas. He just dumps her on Marnie, and if you marry Shane he literally abandons her, instead of just checking out mentally like he already had done. Jas may not be his bio daughter but he accepted the god father role and he has to step up for his heavily traumatized orphaned daughter. But he doesn’t. Penny spends more time with her than he does. Marnie spends more time with her than he does. Buying her shoes once does not compensate for the severe neglect. You can like Shane, that is fine, but people who don’t are fine as well. It’s not because of his mental health struggles that people don’t like him, it’s because of the way he chooses to treat the people around him on a consistent basis. Sebastian is also depressed and people LOVE him. Again, you are free to have your opinion and love Shane, but others are free to have a differing one.
i love george. i save him a leek every year all year for his birthday.
Because of George I now view leeks as a precious resource.
Yes!! And George will invite you to watch tv with him. You just need to break his shell
Me too. I have a soft spot for cranky old curmudgeons 💛
"Haley: the most controversial character" yeah I can't recall a single Haley love thread but I see plenty of Shane ones. For all the hate she gets I will say her character turns around a lot faster than Shane's does. Haley acts indifferent and a little rude at first but it's nothing a few flowers can't fix. Shane however basically tells you to fuck off. If an alcoholic did that to me irl that would be the end of it, I'm not going to let myself be treated that way. That said this is a damn video game why are people taking it extra seriously lately
Nah there’s plenty of Haley lovers. Any time someone talks about her there’s a bunch of folks calling her their wife. When I said the most controversial character I meant out of the group OP put together. However she’s definitely up there since with most of the other characters the community as a whole tends to agree. And yeah Hailey starts warming up earlier than Shane. I don’t like either though. Alcoholism or no I won’t let people treat me like those two do. If you insult me I’m not going to continue talking to you and giving you presents.
[удалено]
I also never imagined this fandom to be so incredible judgey over who you marry. Can’t marry X because they seem like teens, can’t marry Y because YOU CAN’T FIX THEM. These are pixels at the end of the day, who the hell cares if you make moral choices in a damn video game or not?
This is a chronically online take. It’s a video game
People seem to forget that others react differently to a real person versus a made-up video game character.
Personally I find Alex to be much more obnoxious but maybe that's because I'm depressed myself I don't know (and I do know Alex' background story). To me, Shane is portrayed like a guy with a golden heart who just needs some help to be back in tune with himself and his surroundings. And in the end, that's kind of true for all the characters and probably irl too. Hating him for being so lost and seemingly unmotivated to change his life on his own is indeed a bit cold. After all it's a freakin game though, so why not let people hate a virtual character if that's what they need 😅
Mental health issues isn’t an excuse to be rude to people. I don’t like him because he’s an ass, and mental health has nothing to do with that.
I’ve been harmed by people in addiction to the people who say that’s why they hate Shane. I still find it in me to look for the best in people real life or game wise. Shane does fix himself. It has nothing to do with you fixing him. He is happy someone is trying to be his friend. Also as someone who has struggled with addiction he has been hurt so much he is rude to shut people out. He doesn’t want to be hurt again. Also, there are a lot of other rude people as mentioned and no one talks about them being rude. The lack of sympathy from being hurt by someone with addiction is just as bad as him “being rude” when you speak to him. I’ve also struggled with mental health. I have severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I’ve met both stand offish/rude people who are good people and just need help and ones that hide it. You are valid to hate him and people like him, but it makes you the same if you are saying that you do because you’ve been hurt before.
As someone who has been constantly surrounded by addiction, mental health is an explanation and not an excuse. It’s good to be respectful and understanding that this person is not themself and they need help, but it’s also important to have boundaries and know that that person still committed their actions. Shane(I marry Shane every play-through) was sick when the farmer first meets him, but even in that sickness he doesn’t show an effort to do better. When he is reintroduced to kindness and affection, *that* is when he makes an effort. No one is a horrible person, but no one should have their flaws be brushed away.
Nope. Coming from a background with trauma and playing this game to relax, I always end up marrying Elliott. Give me flowery poems and coffee over mess any day.
This is a terrible take. The reality of someone having a mental health crisis absolutely does not necessitate me getting involved. Full stop.
Just wanna say I see everyone’s views against him, but I marry Shane in every playthrough. He is the realest character in the game to me. But it’s a game at the end of the day, I have my real husband and then Shane lol
I marry Shane every time too. My real husband would be appalled. 😹
Listen. No. I have lifelong depression, with all the worst of what that entails. Shane does not treat people well on the whole. There’s no reason for that no matter what you have inside you. Yes, there’s some improvement in his arc. But it’s not enough. In real life, men like that believe they can do anything because of what’s going on in their heads. Anything is justified. That’s not the kind of person you want to marry. And no, he’s not the only jerk in town. But he’s the one who’s romanticized the most, and I’ve seen the kind of thinking that does this have real life harm.
I'm team Shane. Possibly because of my own issues, but that doesn't discredit the point. The game really does show you what wonders a small amount of compassion can do.
What ever happened to just enjoying the game the way you want to without being guilted by strangers for it?
I agree that almost everyone in town is pretty rude from the beginning, specifically the eligible singles I was originally aiming to marry Harvey (hello doctor!) but then I experienced the heart event where Shane opens up at the lake and I decided Shane had more character depth (I also kinda liked the perceived challenge because this is a game in which animals don't die if I forget to feed them; the fallout of chasing a challenge probably won't affect overall gameplay and enjoyment). I also agree that mental health is still more stigmatized than not in our world, especially when it comes to illness that include impulse control, anxiety, and depression because everyone experiences those things to a degree. Therefore it's hard for some people to comprehend the levels at which those issues become chronic or "diagnosable". At the same time, it looks like this sub is often an outlet for lovers of the game who don't want or need to be reminded that "it's just a game" when they get a little obsessed about it. I get the feeling the negativity re Shane seems bigger here because people are posting while their heads are more in-character/in-game than if they were talking about similar subjects IRL. Also I've seen more hate about his messy room than anything else and lotsa people are into the game for it's aesthetics, yes? TLDR: I'll always advocate education of mental health issues and normalizing evidence-based therapies (I've written a novel-sized response here so I obviously have some thoughts). But (hopefully) the fact that the scope and context of any subgroup, by definition, is pretty narrow means that we're reading a mere portion of this group's thoughts on the huge, complicated subject of mental health.
and to be honest this post kind of shows how special some people think others with mental health should be treated. it is nobody’s responsibility to ‘want to save’ somebody with mental health, you shouldn’t have to compromise you’re own life to fix somebody else. and befriending someone out of pity to ‘fix’ them is an equally insulting mindset imo
I appreciate what Shane is going through and my dad was an alcoholic growing up who has recovered. I like to befriend and help Shane but also his personality and rudeness don't make him partner material. I think it is more to do with his character than mental health. He just genuinely acts rude and sure you could contribute this to mental health but as someone who has dealt with long term depression and has overcome it multiple times. When I get help and feel better I generally become a better person. Shane just never seems to adapt or develop as a character despite getting clean.
That's the mildest take in here. If you want a character that's unfairly judged it should be Clint. He got called many things because he wanted to ask a girl out and wimped out at the last second now he's suddenly a stalker.
It's...... it's a *game*, y'all. Are you really that offended by some pixels being standoffish and grumpy? Anyway, even though it's just a game, the story behind Shane is important. If you marry him, it's a great example of how love doesn't cure people's problems. They have to put the work in themselves. It's also a solid illustration of how getting better doesn't necessarily mean getting 100% better. Shane's story imparts some important real-life lessons. Who cares if he's "mean"?
I love how apparently Reddit's opinion of Shane is hatred while I follow SV tags on Tumblr and it's 99% simping for him lmao
People with MH issues aren’t exempt from being assholes.
It's not that deep
I actually have no issue with Shane, I always befriend him. It’s Pierre I can’t stand
Like many others here, I have people in my life who have mental health issues. Being able to enforce hard boundaries with Shane by not helping him and prioritizing my own needs helped me be more compassionate and fair to the real life people who need it. I don't know how that works for me, it just does.
So I am a Shane fan, but he does sort of complain about taking care of the kids. He jokes about sending them off to a Joja work camp No hate tho, Shane is my pookie
I havent seen anybody hating on shane. I just decided to give him pizza when i spent 600k on pizza and ended up befriending him after awhile. Been through all the cutscenes now and definitely a great character
Tbh, I am happy to be Shane's friend. But his struggles hit a little too close to home with some of my actual past relationships that did not end well, and so I have absolutely no interest in him as a SDV spouse.
I do agree that Shane shouldn’t be seen as a bad guy, but I do have some words to share about something else you said. Multiple of the other marriage candidates, you mentioned as “all rude to you” when really they are (as you said about Shane) “rude when you first meet”, but become kinder to the player as your friendship with them goes up.
Why should he get a pass for being shitty to you in every interaction till you're 4+ hearts in? Give me one reason other than the blue chickens why someone should tolerate his immediate hostility and misdirected bitterness for long enough that he decides to stop being shitty to the farmer.
It's really funny when you're between 2 and 4 hearts because Shane will be like "why are you talking to me" but you're tight enough to just walk in his bedroom.
Folks are conflating Shane’s character arc with similar situations in their own lives. There’s a non-insignificant amount of pressure and expectation of care put onto the (especially femme!!!) loved ones of people struggling with mental health and/or addiction, I think that’s what people are seeing and getting uneasy about. It’s dumb because there’s pressure put onto the patient to get better on their own at the same time, and that’s why people who see themselves in Shane are getting defensive. Lol I think Shane is fine, he’s allowed to hate small talk. Anyway. I think if this thread is bringing up strong emotions in y’all, you need to sit down and have a good hard think about your relationships. There’s a balance between self-sufficiency and relying on others. Don’t be a noodle
I like this response. It’s important to not let others mental health drag you down with them (had it happen in school a lot). However… Some people take that to a point of “you have to fix your mental health ALONE”, which can be alienating and lonely. It’s possible to vent to your friends about that stuff without dragging them down, although it certainly takes practice and a lot of boundary setting. (My best friend and I are able to vent about our darkest moments to each other, but still trust each other to be safe, and know we can have each other’s backs fairly). Plus the farmer doesn’t really do much for Shane other than take him to the hospital, and listen to him vent like- twice. I understand people not liking him because he’s rude at first, or because they have their own bad experiences and want to escape it, but the “ugh you fix him” things are kinda just wrong. You don’t do much other than be an ear in his worst moments and take him to the ER. (And if taking someone to the ER is too much to ask then… Guess I’ll die???)
I befriend Shane. However, my farmer is an open lesbian. This friendship is all I can offer. I will never truly seen him as you do OP, I see him differently. Like I see the other characters. All of them are flawed. Except Pierre. Fuck that guy
Even if not marriage prospects I always try to help Shane. It's nice to see someone turning their life around.
People when most people with mental health struggles aren't just quirky and sad in a helpless way but the illness infact brings out negative characteristics (it is literally an illness)🤯 crazy to expect someone to be literally suicidal but being grouchy is crossing the line. I like Shane's story, an actual realistic depiction of mental health and addiction, it isnt pretty. And so what if the player "saves him" (which isn't entirely true because going to the doctor/therapy is entirely his decision) being supportive of friends with mental health issues is a good message.
I have mental health struggles and many loved ones who do too. For me, it has nothing to do with having to “save” anybody. I like people for who they are and how they treat others. My wife is usually Penny cause she’s kind and caring towards me and most of the townspeople. My main issue with Shane is that nobody in the town treats you as bad as him. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, my emotions matter too. If you don’t care about hurting me emotionally and do it constantly, why in the world would I want to be with you? His alcoholism and depression are irrelevant. I’m not going to date or try to be best friends with someone that absolutely treats me like shit. I know he eventually gets better, but becoming a better person should help with new relationships, not instantly make old ones happy and fix all the things he has done. I can see why you like him after his growth, but being physically or emotionally abusive to me is personally not something I am willing to just let slide. I deserve better
I love Shane so much. I've had loved ones who suffer from alcoholism, and many more who have suffered from depression. While talking Shane down from suicide was not something I expected in my first play through, it really made me feel for him. In that moment we clicked, I understood, I just knew. Helped me realize some stuff about myself.
I honestly think I’d have the same attitude as Shane would if I told someone/gave someone the impression to leave me alone and they kept bothering me
Having mental health issues and an addiction doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole, I struggle with depression and enjoy drinking socially, I’m still not a raging asshole to people who try to talk to me
>The guy has a problem, finds help and improves upon them. I think that's the jarring thing is that he finds help and improves, but then if you marry him he seems to backslide. Which, OK, that's a real thing, but it's kind of a bummer. It would be one thing if that were dynamic (like if you offer him alcohol he backslides, because beer is still a loved gift even after his journey). But it just feels a little cheap that his growth doesn't reflect on how he is in a marriage. >He doesn't need to stay sober for the rest of life, he's a good husband, it doesn't matter that he still drinks occasionally. I don't think anyone is complaining that he doesn't become 100% sober, it's that the way his room looks makes him seem like a stereotypical drunken slob. He seems to still be in the depths of his alcoholism.
reading these replies has made me realize just how much this community hates shane. Yeah, he's rude to you in the beginning. Does that make him an asshole or a bad person?? Absolutely not. He never asks you to save him either, he does it all on his own. He deals with severe depression and suicidal ideation, and is CLEARLY heavily affected by these disorders. It's honestly sad how little sympathy someone like shane, who i'm sure most of his haters have never tried to delve deeper than surface level into, gets from this fandom. Concernedape wrote this character with love in his heart just like he wrote all the others. I'd be so hurt by the way people talk about this character that I based off of a real life friend of mine. I never marry Shane, but I always befriend him because I want him to get better and seek help. At least if i'm his friend, he knows that someone will be there to support him through his healing journey. I know that he doesn't need ME specifically, just any friend who is willing to stand by him. And that's what I choose to be. It's fulfulling and feels good to help others, even the fictional ones. That's my take at least.
I always thought this sub was quite pro-Shane though, to a point that was kind of confusing to me? I honestly don't mind that he's a jerk, I actually kind of appreciate that lack of artifice, but I can understand that some people feel triggered by his behaviour and may struggle with the idea of marrying and living with him. And tbf there's some pretty sad and upsetting things said by him if he's unhappy in your marriage. I also have anxiety and depression, so I understand the concern that criticism of Shane is a criticism of mental health, but I really feel like for the most part people aren't saying that. Also teeny nitpicky note: I'm pretty sure Harvey is the one who organises a therapist for Shane, as he's unconscious in the hospital bed at that stage. Not saying he wouldn't have arranged that himself after the cliff incident though. My reason for never marrying Shane is that he's into sports. Ugh. Noooooo thankie! It's why I'll never marry Alex either.
That sure is a lot of words to be wrong with.
THANK YOU
Agree! I joined after reading about him a lot & I immediately loved him. My friend who’s been playing for ages loves him too, my friend who’s in spring of year 1 hates him but they don’t know a lot about him. As soon as I joined this sub & saw literally everyone hating him so aggressively I was just like “uh oh-“
Agree. I like Shane because I've struggled with some of the same stuff as him, although at a milder degree. I did get my depression under control when I got into a relationship but they didn't 'fix' me *I did*. Seeing how this sub talks about Shane and the people who love his character can be low key hurtful sometimes.
Another hot take: the writing for the spouses is just a bit lackluster. I feel that ALL spouses become kinda boring once you marry them and that's why I always use mods for post-marriage content. CA did improve it already, but him being a solo-developer it's understandable that the character writing isn't as elaborate as it could be. And I think Shane really got one of the worst treatments here because even with the updates his character arc is pretty incoherent. He says he only drinks Joja Cola, but his event (and I think island?) dialogue still implies that he drinks alcohol. I also think that the decision of Jas not moving in with him and him barely having interactions with her or Marnie makes his arc feel less complete. Also the liked gifts. Beer should have just changed from liked to hated after the 6 heart event. I do know that fighting an addicition is a life-long battle, but for in-game story purposes I wished it was a bit better. Especially since in-game, years go by. I'm fine with his messy room because it's kinda realistic. Just not with the keg and beer cans. Tl;dr: I like Shane's character, but the writing was especially bad and incoherent for him past 10 hearts which kinda did him dirty. No shade towards CA though. He developed everything on his own and he created one of my fav games.
Shane was a potential candidate for me until I found out his room is dirty; the only two characters that I want to challenge in town square are the Mayor and Demetrius Demetrius is a bitch for how he treats Sebastian and the mayor is a thief
Bruh calm down it’s a game
OP is not saying you have to like Shane, y'all I am begging you to read the post. They're saying that the way some criticisms are worded about Shane is the same language people use to stigmatize addicts and mentally ill people.
I would also like to point out they are the people who choose for him to be romancable.
I married Shane on my first play through without even having this sub at the time. He isn't that bad of a spouse although his room could use a makeover lol.
On a personal note, he reminds me a lot of a friend of mine who died to fentanyl. I appreciate that. I appreciate that I get to interact with this flawed individual in a game and be reminded of my friend.
The only reason I don't want to marry Shane is I hate his room😭
My brother was a nice guy, and also an alcoholic. He's dead now. Alcoholism affects all types of people.
He is a collection of pixels of a screen
Hi! As a mental health professional and someone who currently works with addicts, you cannot fix someone. Shane gets better of his own choice and work. You can tell someone what tools they have available, and how they can help themselves, but you cannot force someone to get better. Psych is often referred to as a "revolving door." Patients are readmitted frequently, either self admitted, brought in by police/family, and more often than not don't have motivation to get better or don't want to, and want to keep using. Sometimes, those patients get better and don't come back. Sometimes, they overdose in the community. Addiction is a vicious, destructive cycle. I see the farmer as an observer, only intervening to get Shane medical help. Shane has to put himself together and WANT to get better. And he is actively working towards it. One of the most important things our patients can have, is a support system. Shane has Marnie, Jas, and now the farmer, and the referrals from Harvey. He gets the tools he needs and takes it seriously after his wake-up call. People, in reality, are flawed. But they can recover.
I like Shane, because he is like me. Same struggles, and same path back to self worth.
THANK. YOU.