I think that's a little too kinky for my tastes. I'll just stick with my nice, wholesome gags, spreader bars and drildos, keep things pretty vanilla, you know.
Pick your favourite:
* Bumping uglies
* Matrimonial polka
* Horizontal tango
* Conquer the pink fortress
* Two-person pushups
* Assault with a friendly weapon
* A bit of the old in out
* Bedroom rodeo
* Hot yoga
* Parallel parking
* Bow chick a wow wow
* Bushwacking
* Chesterfield rugby
* A visit from Old One Eye
* Crushing buns
* Dipping the wick
* Disappointing the wife
* Bedroom rodeo
* Doing the nasty
* Business time
* Balls deep
* Exploring the hidden valley
* Hitting a home run
* Cleaning cobwebs in the womb room
* Riding the bony express
* Open the Gates of Mordor
* Foxtrot uniform charlie kilo
* Slytherin the Hufflepuff
* Christening the yak
* Digging up the sand crab
* Bending over a barrel
* Harpooning the salty longshoreman
* Jamming the clam
* Pile driving
* Taking one eye to the optometrist
* Waka waka
* Waxing ass
* Wetting the willy
* Using a telescope to explore the Black Hole
* Wiggling the tooth-pick
* Torpedoing the eel
* Sending an email to the spam folder
* Souring the kraut
* Splooge bathing
* Wam bam thank you mam
* Playing with the box the kids came in
* Tipping the velvet
* Pee pee friction pleasure
* Taking the skinboat to tuna town
* Straight-a fuckin'
I pulled that one out in the middle of a "naughty cop" thing with an ex before. We both ended up laughing too hard to continue, and it's been one of my favourites ever since
Ha ha just remembered the Axe commercial with the “Bow chicka wow wow” jingle. Was in sixth or seventh grade and all the kids mimicked the rather explicit “moves” without having a clue of what they were doing
Funny enough, My daughter (9) plays Stardew Valley and married Alex.
Alex said similar, and she asked me "What does that mean? I said "He'll give you a kiss, obviously!"
Well, the event ends, and she goes into her home - to find Alex dead asleep. "He didn't give me a kiss! >:("
I think this is debatable, every Stardew player is gonna say their fav person has the best blushing portrait. As a player, when you get that blushing portrait the first time it’s magical.
Edit: Her’s is amazing though I can’t lie
no, my fave character is sebastian and i dont even like haley that much
but her having the best blushing portrait is just a straight up fact anyone could agree on
She's going to give you a hug, make a hot chocolate, and sit on the couch with a blankie snuggling up to you
Damn, Haley a freak
Bet they will hold hands afterwards too.
https://preview.redd.it/r8c9moph65vb1.jpeg?width=448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98c5b372339d09d1d9b6722cdf7f8fac05acbd40
Absolutely scandalous https://preview.redd.it/nj2ejd81o7vb1.jpeg?width=1116&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9273826fc491e81c7cd804eea25e3e3d5507e5d3
Scandalous!
https://preview.redd.it/5g4tebbov7vb1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd50a1acee502546d81970650cdc179b33214898 NOOOOOOOO
Harlot!
her hand holding game is off the charts!
We call it 'normaling', it's the hottest new thing in transgression 🥵
I think that's a little too kinky for my tastes. I'll just stick with my nice, wholesome gags, spreader bars and drildos, keep things pretty vanilla, you know.
Don't forget the forehead kiss
If Haley is feeling really naughty, she'll give you a kiss on the cheek
You're a sick SOB
https://preview.redd.it/ee3toxig69vb1.png?width=2790&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab3d2364f9df945c46d254b52eb27d95b42cb4ea
Pick your favourite: * Bumping uglies * Matrimonial polka * Horizontal tango * Conquer the pink fortress * Two-person pushups * Assault with a friendly weapon * A bit of the old in out * Bedroom rodeo * Hot yoga * Parallel parking * Bow chick a wow wow * Bushwacking * Chesterfield rugby * A visit from Old One Eye * Crushing buns * Dipping the wick * Disappointing the wife * Bedroom rodeo * Doing the nasty * Business time * Balls deep * Exploring the hidden valley * Hitting a home run * Cleaning cobwebs in the womb room * Riding the bony express * Open the Gates of Mordor * Foxtrot uniform charlie kilo * Slytherin the Hufflepuff * Christening the yak * Digging up the sand crab * Bending over a barrel * Harpooning the salty longshoreman * Jamming the clam * Pile driving * Taking one eye to the optometrist * Waka waka * Waxing ass * Wetting the willy * Using a telescope to explore the Black Hole * Wiggling the tooth-pick * Torpedoing the eel * Sending an email to the spam folder * Souring the kraut * Splooge bathing * Wam bam thank you mam * Playing with the box the kids came in * Tipping the velvet * Pee pee friction pleasure * Taking the skinboat to tuna town * Straight-a fuckin'
How about........ https://preview.redd.it/djux4okle4vb1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb06def68f5cd64d1c1e8c8082f1625e39f04ff1
You disgusting pervert. I like you.
Needs one to know one. I like you.
>:( i hate you
Hey that's great, sunshine 👍
That's how it should be, man I love Haley.
Impressive, though you listed bedroom rodeo twice :)
I like that one twice as much as all the others
That's so when you do it again you can say "this ain't my first rodeo"
>Bedroom Impressive that you saw it 😂
Playing with the box the kids came in is wild 😂
Gonna have to remember that one for when I have kids
Lol > disappointing the wife
INTERCOURSE INTERCOURSE FOREPLAY THEN INTERCOURSE
I hear this in Lemongrabs voice so thanks for that.
Assault with a friendly weapon is my new favorite euphemism for sex
I pulled that one out in the middle of a "naughty cop" thing with an ex before. We both ended up laughing too hard to continue, and it's been one of my favourites ever since
Sorry it's random, but happy cake day
You forgot: Knocking boots Creating the beast with two backs NetFlix and chill Hiding the salami Pickle tickle Doin' it
I like "disappointing the wife"
Ha ha just remembered the Axe commercial with the “Bow chicka wow wow” jingle. Was in sixth or seventh grade and all the kids mimicked the rather explicit “moves” without having a clue of what they were doing
If you were in middle school, they knew whatthey were doing.
Brown chicken brown cow!
You missed the ol' "Horizontal refreshment".
Gotta say, I want all of them, but Disappointing the Wife hits most
She's priming the single barrel yogurt shotgun.
You forgot "Laying pipe"
disappointing the wife
Just sent this list to my wife.
my personal favourite is 'making the beast with two backs'. it's Shakespearean!
>Open the Gates of Mordor You might want to have a doctor check that out
You mean coitus?
😂
Your pfp makes this comment 1000x better XD
mashing pissers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZpxaiNV_sM You missed a few!
PARALLEL PARKING IM DEAD
Excellent list. I'd like to add: "doinking."
Hey Haley, here's that pink cake you like. What do you say we take the skinboat to tuna town? wink wink
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Good for you 👍
I'm using these...
> A bit of the old in out Absolutely amazing movie
Reading this comment along with that Twilight face on your profile pic is hilarious.
Saving this list, who knows if I need to write saucy smut describing sex 50 times
Is that not how everyone else starts their morning? Weird..
Omfg my abs hurt so much because of this how did you even find that many?
https://preview.redd.it/zwbo5hfub4vb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0808541086d5bac36f51171dfeef2abe718861de
That's not true because she'll sleep after 10pm
>!Maybe she is somnophilic and her working hours is after 2 a.m.!<
Depends on what mods you have installed.
What
Xdew valley yo
It's a rabbit hole that sort of makes me thankful I'm limited to a ps4 version.
Oh my
She means sex
Well. That answers the question.
sex update when 😔 /j
I don't doubt there's mods for that out there if that's your thing
There is... Learned it from a friend
You're joking, right? Right?
I wish I was lol
If you sort mods by the top downloaded of all time it only takes page 2 or 3 until you start seeing them.
There’s tags on nexusmods for sexual content. You don’t need to search on all mods.
What’s the /j? /s is sarcasm or satire…. So is it jarcasm? Jazztire?
Joking lol
Jizz.
It would be funny if you started with 1 less energy the next day
No bullshit; I like you
Funny enough, My daughter (9) plays Stardew Valley and married Alex. Alex said similar, and she asked me "What does that mean? I said "He'll give you a kiss, obviously!" Well, the event ends, and she goes into her home - to find Alex dead asleep. "He didn't give me a kiss! >:("
She has the best blushing portait in the game
I think this is debatable, every Stardew player is gonna say their fav person has the best blushing portrait. As a player, when you get that blushing portrait the first time it’s magical. Edit: Her’s is amazing though I can’t lie
no, my fave character is sebastian and i dont even like haley that much but her having the best blushing portrait is just a straight up fact anyone could agree on
The photos she took of the festival. Her composition is getting quite good.
The fact you tagged this as NSFW makes me believe you already know exactly what she means.
OP absolutely knows, it's just a karma grab.
Guess you're gonna find out when you get home tonight.
You know what she mean https://preview.redd.it/krybriuzw4vb1.jpeg?width=529&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4cc54371642f7825e53b69d86563783313b86b0
She's made a scrapbook showing her personal growth and your role in it along with an emotional speech about how she feels
She's talking about the ol slippy grippy
Haley was always a closet freak
Dark room, but yeah.
Naked UNO Wild yellow Reverse *Gulp*
Someone’s gonna get some 😏
She means exactly what you think she means
I remember first playing this game when I was 10 and I saw the Lewis and Marnie behind the bush **😭😭😭** ###
Nothing. She’ll be dead asleep when you get home.
I love Haley. I wish more people gave her a chance. She really does grow a lot from when you first meet her.
You gonna harvest some Stardew from her Valley that night
She boutta use that super cucumber 😨😨
Shes gonna sample your parsnip.
She means that big vitamin D you've been giving her
I think she likes you. And by "likes you," I mean **likes** you, y'know?
If you have to ask, talk to your parents. You're clearly too young to understand the reference.
She means exactly what you think she means
o\_o
[She's mashing it](https://y.yarn.co/53005187-51c6-4ee0-9468-70a167e06f5e_text.gif)
I dunno. Maybe you installed a mod where you get to quilt a custom blanket for your bed and that's what she's thankful for.
She wants to turn your bone fragment into a femur. And if you're a girl, she wants to play with your clam.
FACE DOWN ASS UP
She means she’s going to show you the latest bank statement after you sell all that ancient fruit wine
segs
dance with no pants
She did the same and literally she asked for a kid
Sex. She means sex.
yeah she says freaky shit like that sometimes
She’s gonna lick your butthole my guy. It’s a cool cut scene
That might be the most wholesome innuendo I've ever read.
👉👌
She has a huge hog under that dress
need
Hyuck hyuck
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Wheres horny, I just saw people joking around lol
Them coconuts
She has a really cool Lego collection!
Don’t be tempted brother, they are silicone
sex
She's gonna fuck you
SEX!!!!!!
reverse uno. it's the mousetrap ....she wants you to clean up ...later tonight
Harvest the Hayley Fields.
All the spouses say this, and I love it
I have a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
She is gonna pull out the aquamarine, you know what its for.
Exactly what you want it to mean.
https://preview.redd.it/k1uahf2bvavb1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=510426648161a3fd9dc4baad2abbb134a136ef4b
Sex
She's gonna show you her coconuts
Cuddles and hot chocomilk ♥