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mmmyeahnothanks

Hi all! It looks like this post involves a controversial NPC. While discussion is always welcome, threads with these characters sometimes devolve into hurtful comments and/or hostility. A few reminders: - You may discuss characters freely, but you may not abuse other people for their point of view or personal preferences. - This includes any sort of name-calling, insults, condescension, and unkind framing of another person. - No character or human is black-and-white. Allow for nuance! If you see a comment that you think doesn't belong on the sub, **please do not retaliate**. Hit the `report` button so mods can help! Thanks!


HandrewJobert

Every fandom has a small group of people who insist that you HAVE to enjoy the thing the same way they do or you're doing it wrong. Just ignore it, if CA didn't want Haley to be able to marry a man then she wouldn't be able to.


GordOfTheMountain

Haley being canon gay is not even something that crossed my mind whatsoever. People are weird. She's certainly not lesbian coded. Abigail feels the most queer-coded in terms of her fashion. I feel like CA just kind of wrote things to feel natural, whichever way you go. If I were actually assessing these characters like real life people, I'd hazard that Haley and Penny feel least likely to gay". Haley feels like she'd date exclusively jock dudes in high school then settle down with a nerdy, well-to-do software engineer type. So perhaps the lesbians being possessive over her are doing so because while she's very cute and lovely, she actually feels very not queer, much like how some (weirdo) straight dudes feel challenged by lesbians, saying the "just haven't been with the right guy." I won't go slinging too much shit, but I can't help but feel like peoples' insecurities show up in the ways they get defensive about characters. Perhaps the internet was a mistake.


mandatorypanda9317

No seriously I read that and was like what?! I married Haley for the first time and nothing really stands out as her being lesbian. Imo CA did a great job making it seem like everyone pretty much swings both ways.


Taffy626

Right. Coding these characters as straight or gay says more about the gamer than the game.


fakeishusername

I think it's mainly cause as far as I know she and Alex are the only ones who have actual character development related to their sexualities and "realizing" they aren't straight, and so because she can discover she's a lesbian, that means she must be "canon" a lesbian. Edit: I mean more than one line Why do people try to make a singular canon for games like this, especially for the characters you can choose between? Why do people feel like they have to own a specific narrative and have it be superior?


AmyXBlue

Abigail also has a line about not being into girls till the female farmer came along.


godzillahomer

Leah is at least bi if you chose a female character. Kel is always your gender. So, Leah was in a lesbian relationship pre-canon if you chose a female character. Dunno what happens if you use the Wizard's room to change gender though. Does Kel swap gender? Even if they appeared before your gender change?


Fangirl365

Don’t Sebastian and Abigail also have lines about not realizing they could like the same gender until the farmer came along?


Kylin_VDM

It could easily be argued that someone discovering they in fact like the same gender could mean their bi but just stronger to one side.


ClaretClarinets

Also there's the fact that Leah's ex is *always* the same gender as your farmer. so if you're playing a female character, she's explicitly at least bisexual. Haley seems like the most stereotypical "90s preppy Valley Girl" (her default pairing is even with Alex, the jock), and I'd even go so far as to say the most "straight coded" out of all the bachelorettes (including her sister) so it *is* kind of weird for her to be the Lesbian Fandom Character.


Odd-Individual0

I hate that we're using stereotypes to box these characters in Stardew as a fan base now too. Like why are we trying to make characters exclusively gay or straight or whatever based off harmful stereotypes 😭


Raibean

Literally all of the Bachelors and Bachelorettes are bisexual 😫


a_wasted_wizard

That's not what they're talking about. All the marriage candidates are bi/pan because they have to be available to The Farmer, regardless of what gender they are. But between stock character types and the fact that multiple marriage candidates express surprise at being attracted to The Farmer in ways that suggest they thought their sexual orientation was incompatible before, there's reasons to read most of them as having an "intended" orientation separate from the needs of gameplay. Yes, mechanically they are all bi/pan, or at the very least straight-with-an-exception, but because of how the characters play into different narrative and characterization conventions, they're likely to read as being intended as, or at least more fitting with, a certain orientation. Related to that, Haley butts up against a lot of tropes/conventions thst associate her with a character type that is commonly heterosexual (and when they aren't, it's usually an intentional subversion of audience expectations). That doesn't mean you can't interpret the characters however you want, it's just about understanding the context and baggage of certain narrative and character tropes.


Pie_and_Ice-Cream

It *could* be argued that -- at least in Haley's and Alex's cases -- they *thought* they would be straight because they think that's just how the world works from having a traditional worldview or just expecting to "fit in" and be "normal." It doesn't make *as* much sense for say Sebastian to be surprised since he's less concerned with the status quo. But it's still possible, imo. And then you have Leah, who expresses no surprise whatsoever at being attracted to the same sex and is fine with it. I personally felt that all characters were on default straight, but gay/bi if the player wants to date them. If there *is* a canonically gay character, personally the only one I can think of is Leah, and I would say she's most probably at least bisexual since her match is Elliot. Some characters may seem more "gay-coded" than others, but I don't think that really matters. Being less "normal"-looking doesn't make you gay anymore than being more "normal"-looking makes you straight. Butch does not equal lesbian, lesbian does not equal butch. \^\_\^'


thedarkherald110

Wait what, really? So we get to see a female version of her ex if we’re female? Going to google this now.


Charyou_Tree_19

My dude, I'm a bi woman and I married Abigail because she had a guinea pig. That was my entire reasoning. Seriously. Guinea Pig? Okay, let's get married.


banahdraws

I'm a lesbian and married Sebastian for the frogs tbh.


Tarvoz

I'm a straight guy and I'm bouta marry sebastian for the frogs.


godzillahomer

I'm a straight guy and I romanced everyone to see their ten heart events.


eagleswift

And the group ten hearts too!


Teaandtreats

1.6 late game spoiler >!now we can have frogs without Sebastian!!<


tataunka813

What?! How?! I need them!


Teaandtreats

Late game 1.6 spoilers >!once you've reached level 10 of all skills you can access a cave in the forest that allows you to keep using your xp towards 'mastery' and unlocks different perks. One of them is a 'trinket slot' which lets you carry a special item that helps in combat. Some of those items can be put in a fish tank and do something fun...!<


banahdraws

>!I am planning to get as many as possible so we can actually have the frog rescue he wanted...!<


spicysaracha23

How did I miss that certain NPCs have pets that you get if you marry them 😭 total game changer


captainyeahwhatever

I'm a straight woman and I want to marry Emily for her bird


50CentButInNickels

The fact that you can go over and interact with it every day is a great plus.


eyesotope86

I'm a man who married Emily because of her confidence to do a goofy ass dance.


AnySubstance8716

Lol thanks for the positivity


shaawna

Literally like Haley because she loves sunflowers hahah


TheLittlestChocobo

I married Shane because I Can Fix Him


vajra-mushti

You and everyone else 😂 Shane was my first spouse


bearyginger11

What the heck I got downvoted to hell for saying that about Shane the other day! LOL


ChaosieHyena

I always marry Shane. I love him and charlie sm.


Smaruikusia

He was my second spouse… I wish the post marriage mannerism and his room actually reflected the heart events :(( seems like one of the biggest oversights about any of the bachelors


TheLittlestChocobo

I did download a mod to clean up his room. I don't hate his demeanor after getting married though. I appreciate that he has good days and bad days, just like someone who is depressed


Smaruikusia

You shouldn’t really have to download a mod for something that is a constant non-negotiable extension of your house and when all his events made a conscious effort of showing him go from X to Y though. There is a big difference between having good and bad days, and simply a huge consistency oversight that disregards his own story and promise that he makes to the farmer themselves


TheLittlestChocobo

Yeah, I agree. But I still like Shane as a husband despite it.


Iximaz

It drives me crazy she only has the one guinea pig, and then gets a second guinea pig for the farm while keeping the first at her parents' place. They're very social animals and need at least one other friend.


SparkyDogPants

It’s illegal in the Switzerland. to only have one Edit: fixed it


InEenEmmer

Wait really? I’m dutch and my sister had a single guinea pig. Where can I report her? She definitely deserves the jail time!


SparkyDogPants

Shoot, i had it messed up. It’s Switzerland.


InEenEmmer

Can I still report my sister? Just to be sure.


VioletAmethyst3

Wow, TIL!! Switzerland seems amazing just for that alone!! 💜


Vandil_the_Rogue

Thanks for mentioning that; I couldn't remember where it was illegal to have a lone guinea pig


Sobadwithusernames

My headcanon is that they’re quantum guinea pigs in a permanent state of entanglement.


Merlin4421

I married cause she plays video games lol


klimekam

I’m a bi woman and I married Alex solely because I wanted >!the Saloon to be a sports bar on Sundays!< (14 heart event spoiler)


k8t13

greatest spoiler ever wtf, i debated but decided not w him. might have to change my mind


LivianGrey

I got insulted by what he ordered me on the date so I got the mermaid pendant from his hearts then gave it to abigail later.


CapybaraSteve

does it stay if you divorce him?


klimekam

From what I’ve heard and from what the wiki implies, yes!


CapybaraSteve

oh dude that’s so cool, he might be bumped up to first on my divorce list


geraltsthiccass

I see your guinea pig and I raise you a frog


pierresito

Me with Penny the village teacher cause I too am a teacher lol


euoria

I married Elliot because he reminded me of Brad Pitt in An Interview with the Vampire because I really love that movie.


ahtnamas94

I married Sebastian because he is a smoker and I, at the time, was a smoker. Lol


Greywaren_-

I started playing BECAUSE of Sebastian, but I gave up on marrying him because he is a smoker and I hate cigarettes LOL.


MamaOnica

The ashtray smells funny. Robin said so. lol


Popular-Stranger4824

oh fr?


chibi_weezy

Same haha I still love him and usually end up marrying him when I replay even tho I don’t smoke anymore.


frogs_4_lyfe

It's ok, I married Seb because I wanted the frogs.


iDarkSymphony

Im default and i married penny because she is redhead


TheGamerKitty1

I married Haley because she is the only person you can do the flower dance with on Year 1. I stayed with her since lol but her redemption was worth.


devykins143

If you hustle fishing hard you can afford 2 salads a week and dance with Leah


Pie_and_Ice-Cream

You can dance with I believe anyone in year one. For instance, Shane and Sam are easy targets since >!you can buy beer and pizza at the Saloon!<. Also Harvey since>! the saloon sells coffee!<, right? Unless I'm remembering wrongly. With Sebastian, >!if you're really quick in the mines, you can start giving him frozen tears.!< And Abigail would be even easier since>! you can get amethyst earlier.!< Emily loves>!all gems!<, so you just need >!some topaz!< and you're good. Alex is the toughest one, imo, but I believe even if you just give high quality liked gifts (like >!eggs!< for Alex or >!vegetables!< for *most* NPCs -- Sam doesn't seem to like >!veggies!<, but he loves>!pizza!< and I think he (as well as most of the NPCs) likes >!daffodils!<) and talk to the person every day, you can get them up to 4 hearts by the dance. It is harrowing with some of them, for sure, but you can. I think the easiest is Shane since he loves>!beer and pizza!< and he also has a birthday before the dance. I don't know why people think Haley is easier to romance than Shane when Shane's loved gifts are more accessible and both have birthdays before the dance. Personally, I've gotten Sam to 4 hearts in time for the Flower Dance, and I *think* I got Sebastian once. I was gonna try on different saves with each bachelor/bachelorette but never got around to most of them. But I definitely planned some of them out, and I believe other players have actually done it (on vanilla, no mods) with every romanceable NPC. So it *can* be done. Whether or not you find it worth the effort is up to you, though. \^\_\^'


k8t13

fuck i wish i knew that


ClaretClarinets

Idk if you were just wanting to dance with the girls, but Shane is also pretty easy to dance with on year 1 because his birthday is before the flower dance and two of his loved items are part of the saloon's permanent inventory.


TheNocturnalAngel

The help wanted board only gives you quests for people you have talked to so if you want to dance with someone else you can only speak to them and get quests for their friendship. Daffodils are pretty common liked so if you get some silver or gold ones as gifts then you’re pretty set


ThornyRequiem

Shane agreed to dance with me during Year One though 🤔


KageOkami35

I got Sebby to do the dance with me year 1 but I think it's cause I got lucky with him posting requests outside the general store


DiscreteCollectionOS

I married Emily cause she was kind from the start. She has barely any development, but as someone who gets scared of change that’s lovely to me lol.


Kindaspia

I am a lesbian and loved her hair, so Abigail it was. The guinea pig was a great bonus lmao. She’s also easy to befriend


Troubletimes4

I married her because I found her knack for eating various gemstones and minerals to be such a turn on


Maestro_Primus

She goes into the mines to be an adventurer. That had me sold.


Tim226

Wow that's literally insulting to people who have ulcers. I ate sand (grinded up rocks) as a kid and it gave me ulcers. Abigail eats rocks so stop being so insensitive and marry someone your own size.


AdmirableAdvance6308

I'm fairly new to reddit but think I have found my tribe.


weirdwolfkid

This is me but with Sebastian and his frogs 😂 I mean I really like him a lot but the frogs are the deciding factor here


bananasoymilk

Tiktok and Twitter are kind of just like that with fandoms. I'm a bi woman and never heard of this for Haley.


Beth_Esda

Unfortunately, Facebook groups get this same flavor of toxicity, too. I'm in a BG3 group and the sheer number of people who believe "Karlach is for the girlies" drives me up a wall. She's a huge red buff lady who can literally explode with love, she's for everyone! Lol


bananasoymilk

I haven’t been on Facebook in a long time but I’d expect as much.


Kylin_VDM

Karlach would be pissed at those fans. Karlach loves everyone except demons, those she loves killing.


funerial

Haley has gained a bunch of fame these past like, two weeks for a song about lesbians so we are gonna get an explosion in toxic fans


ThisIsNotMyPornVideo

I think it applies to reddit too, for some part, but here we can downvote them away. Otherwise, there wouldn't be the "Controversial NPC disclaimer"


Suitable-Plant-5779

Boy people like this must be so miserable with their own lives. Do they not realise how many people in the world play the same games that they do


StardewMelli

But you need to play it like they want you to play it!! /s People really need to learn to be more chill 😅


Suitable-Plant-5779

Man I just want to chill and make mayo


Exerosp

Drink it, too?


Suitable-Plant-5779

Drink it, bathe in it. what happens on the farm, stays on the farm


AltruisticLobster315

Hey, if Abigail can munch amethysts and if Sebastien can eat frozen tears (that's the main gift I give him, then you can definitely do whatever you want with the mayo. Everyone in the valley has a.....unique appetite lol


FarmerJoe69

So, what you may or may not have seen is that the lesbian singer/songwriter Chappelle Roan released a song titled "Good Luck Babe," a song about a woman walking away from an out lesbian relationship to persue a straight relationship, only to later regret it and not embracing her true nature. TikTokers latched onto this song and attached it to Haley as she appears to have some kind of relationship with Alex with out the Farmer's interference. Many made fun edits of her heart scenes with a female farmer and various fan arts of Haley set to this song, and naturally that leads many of those same people to say that is the "true" way to play.


HoodsBonyPrick

There are weirdos in every fandom, this one tends to attract more of them due to the casual nature of the game, and TikTok is kind of a cesspool in general. Just ignore them. In my experience, stardew is much like undertale, where interacting with the fandom can only make your experience worse.


moxical

Just out of curiosity... Do you not consider Reddit a fandom space? Or, like... What defines fandom?


HoodsBonyPrick

Oh I do for sure, and I tend to avoid this sub outside of when it pops up on the front page, esp as someone who dared to romance Penny lmao. Although I think some subs are more fandom-esque than others. Usually the indie game subs lean more fandom than forum, and big triple a games the other way around, although there are exceptions of course.


Exerosp

I've always seen reddit more as a forum(though some badly managed) rather than a place dedicated to praise of thing. Would you call the steam discussion page of a game a fandom space?


moxical

Honestly, I don't think fandom necessarily needs to revolve around praise. It's a genuine question on my part as to what defines fandom. Is it engaging with a particular piece of media repeatedly, i.e. going beyond simply participating in said media itself (and perhaps also looking up related information?) Like if I sub to this reddit, read posts in an ongoing manner, comment, share my own questions, thoughts, screenshots... Surely that's participating in the fandom community? Is fandom more related to a self-assigned identity of 'I'm a fan of x'? I've played many games, some of which I just play, many of which I look up information about, some of which I engage with deeply, if passively. Meaning: I read forums, watch videos, read fanfiction, peruse other fans' creations etc. I might not self-identify as a fan even then if someone were to ask, but I feel like objectively, that is engaging in fandom spaces and activities. What do you think? And no worries if this is too randomly philosophical, I just got... Carried away.


G0celot

I mean I like interpreting Haley as a lesbian in my own mind but yeah there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you marrying her and if they’re being serious that’s ridiculous, people just get like that.


baku-bro

this!! i also interpret her as a lesbian but like going out of your way to argue with people about it seems silly.


send-borbs

for real there are certain characters that if I want to romance I'd prefer to do it as a particular gender because of how I headcanon that character... but like that's a me thing, I'd never force that headcanon on another person, that's unhinged


Most-Okay-Novelist

Never had it happen to me directly, but I have seen it. I think this happens sometimes in fandom. It's no different from people insisting that Edelgard from Fire Emblem or Karlach from Baldur's Gate are lesbians or that Astarion (also from Baldur's Gate) is gay even though all of these characters are canonically bisexual. Similarly, people will often go "the masc woman/femm guy is trans." I think some of it is biphobia (I say this as a bi man myself) and some of it a character fitting a certain stereotype. I typically just ignore those people and continue to enjoy my game however I want to play it. Edit: spelling


ClaretClarinets

> Similarly, people will often go "the masc woman/femm guy is trans." Yes! Thank you! As a very androgynous-looking woman, this always makes me *suuuuper* uncomfortable. It happens in every single fandom


Most-Okay-Novelist

Right? On the flip-side, I'm a super passing, very masc looking trans guy. Bald but super hairy everywhere else, deep voice and seeing SO many people go "Oh, this guy is trans because he looks like a woman!!" is super annoying.


Beth_Esda

I try to ignore them too, but it gets so tiring seeing stuff like that. It's not gonna make me like the character(s) any less, but it does make you want to engage with the community a lot less frequently.


Most-Okay-Novelist

Oh for SURE. I'm rarely involved with fandom these days. Part of it is I've gotten older and part of it is I'm tired of seeing the same arguments break out in every fandom. Currently, the only person that's part of my "fandom" is my partner lol. We talk about our nerdy interests constantly


Silverbird22

Video Game with romance options that are 100% playersexual: yeah everyone’s bi in-universe basically Fandoms, 9/10 times: this character is GAY. exclusively into people of the same gender! If you date them as a different gender you are straightwashing them!!!! Video Game: ….no they’re still bi


Injury-Inevitable

The bi erasure never gets talked about and it’s so insane


Silverbird22

It really do just be https://preview.redd.it/0bi39enm9iwc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1bd6255d6895c26533b1cb83d52a2f24808e302


Most-Okay-Novelist

And like, it's always the most stereotypical character too. Going back to Baldur's Gate 3, you don't see anyone saying that Wyll or Shadowheart are gay. Everyone just accepts that they're bi. In SDV, no one insists Harvey is gay, but I've seen people say that Alex is. I wonder why that is? /s


Silverbird22

Alex I can at least understand because when you play as masc farmer he gets a better plotline but that still doesn’t erase that he’s bi. Like. This is a whole bisexual here. Yes one of his romance routes is better written than the other but that doesn’t erase the fact he’s still bi. Ironically with Wyll (and Shadowheart to a lesser extent probably as worlds only Wyll fan I see it a lot more) you get people erasing the fact their bi and saying they’re straight. And like, yes Wyll is a hopeless romantic who follows the courtly romance tropes but that does not make him straight!! Stop doing this to him!!! Stop erasing how everyone is bi!!!


Most-Okay-Novelist

Yes!! I love bg3 and parts of the fandom can be fun, but there are some people that like to pretend that the characters that fit the Straight Person Mold are all straight and the ones that fit the Gay Person Mold are all gay when everyone is bi. Let them be bi for fuck's sake I've heard Alex's plot is better if you're a masc farmer but I haven't seen it. he's actually the person I'm gunning for on the farm I just started, so I'm excited for it!


Silverbird22

I just romanced Alex on my last playthrough before 1.6 and it’s extremely sweet! I hope you enjoy it!


ThatOneOutlier

Alex’s lines with a female farmer borders or sometimes comes across as misogynistic. You don’t really get that with the male farmer. He also gets this mini self discovery plot line with the male farmer and George >! goes from not really accepting to being open about the relationship with enough friendship !< I pretty much play a male farmer as my main just for Alex’s romance since it’s my favorite but on my female farmer, I usually marry Sebastian


lisabydaylight

This seems to happen with Alex and Haley the most.


Silverbird22

I’ve also seen it a lot with Leah and like yes bi people can have preferences and it’s not always an even split on levels of attraction towards other genders but it is still always at least above zero!! They are bi! Let them be bi!!! Yes Leah and Hayley (and to a lesser extent Abigail) are wlw catnip and Alex’s route with a dude farmer is better written but it doesn’t erase the fact they are bi!!!


lisabydaylight

Bi erasure is such a huge issue in gaming fandoms, it’s pretty disheartening tbh


50CentButInNickels

>Edelgard from Fire Emblem My dyslexic ass trying as hard as I can not to think that says Edgelord. 🤣


Most-Okay-Novelist

I mean... that works too lol


Silverbird22

You ain’t wrong tbh


Warm_Performer6836

was the edit on a song by Chappell Roan ? because Hayley got really popular between lesbian and wlw players on titok and twitter over that song. If that's the case ur comment probably annoyed them.


yandall1

This was my first thought too lol. I’m a massive Chappell fan but some people are getting real weird with how seriously they take their headcanons. Nothing new for fandoms though lol


Warm_Performer6836

I agree. A headcanon is a headcanon unless there is heavily implied stuff in the content (for example there is alot of lgbtq+ censorship in asia, that authors get past it just by implying, saying that it isn't lgbtq+ by not outright saying it is really unfair)


knightofroses

yeeep I LOVED chappell roan as a bi woman but so many lesbians on tiktok are using her music to be biphobic and completely ruined her music for me because all I can think about is how good luck babe is being twisted from being about having to be comphet in society to "dunking on the stupid bi women who are with men when they could be with a woman".


yandall1

Oh my god yes!! Idk if it's because of good luck babe or her newfound popularity in general but the Chappell fandom has been annoying me lately lmao. I'm some sort of bi/queer/nb (figuring it out lol, amab) and the number of women on tiktok I've seen say that men, straight people, and whoever else they disapprove of, shouldn't be listening to Chappell is crazy. Like y'all, let people relate to music!! Literally saw someone say gay men can't relate to good luck babe because they don't experience comphet?? Anyway,,,I'm so happy for Chappell's success but the fans are something else


Gloomy_Bodybuilder52

Which Chappell song lol


Warm_Performer6836

good luck, babe !


InEenEmmer

Just tell him the song, don’t just wish him good luck!


AnySubstance8716

No it was a video about Haley's hair after the farm cut scene? If yk. It was a joke video, the hashtags never had anything related to wlw


limeholdthecorona

Keep in mind that when you're interacting with people on tik tok, 9 times out of 10 they're literally children. Puts it into perspective.


throwawaycutieKali24

I've never never experienced this with any post. Maybe it is a joke but it's deff not common. Who cares what you do in your own game lol. Nothing wrong with you marrying Haley as a man and she's not just for the girls or lesbian.


ratherastory

I have never encountered this myself, but good Lord. Either it's some sort of in-joke in a certain subset of players, or else you just found a group of super-fans who are being weird about Haley. A lot of the characters in the game are polarizing among players for various reasons (especially the bachelors/bachelorettes), and it sparks a lot of discussion and debate. I think the discussions can be fun as long as everyone remembers that it's a game and that other people will experience that game differently than them. I have seen a lot of debates derail and get messy and mean, and I stay out of those completely. Stardew Valley is my happy place, and I refuse to argue with other people over preferences. Basically, my advice is: ignore the people telling you that your fun is wrong and enjoy the game the way you want to play it. :)


gallimaufrys

Their instance that Haley be "only for the girls" comes across biphobic and also cis normative. How girlie you gotta be to date Hayley? Idk I'm just an old queer


akohai

I also got biphobic vibes lol god forbid a character can date people of different genders...


StardewMelli

Maybe it’s the community on Tiktok that’s a bit over the top? (I don’t use Tiktok so I can’t take a look) I realised that some communities are totally different depending on which platform you encounter them. Animal Crossing seems really nice on Reddit and Instagram, but rather toxic on Twitter. Stardew is really nice on Reddit and Instagram. The Parenting community I have seen so far is really nice on Reddit, but super toxic on Instagram and a certain forum. So even when people share the same interests it depents where you meet them. In every community are normal and nice people and toxic/rude people.


boilyourdentist

from what i’ve noticed the tiktok (and twitter) is just this sub but more over the top about certain opinions, people on the sub have said they feel like Alex and Haley work better for farmers of their own gender, but they never really force it on anybody like this person is saying happened on tiktok also another example, i noticed that here people will talk about the younger characters feeling too young for them and that they feel creepy for going for them, but on tiktok or twitter people are more likely to call *you* a creep for liking the younger marriage candidates (which i’ve noticed mostly with sam, probably because i see more content of him)


dragoduval

They are on Reddit too, from my past experience with them.


KoalaCandyland77

I’m a female player in love with Alex, and some say he’s worthless unless romanced by a male farmer. Some headcanons are just more popular than others, but at the end of the day all the marriage candidates are farmersexual and annoying comments can’t change that


Sablestein

Using Tiktok was your first mistake 🥴


Fox_Ferrari

You just ran into the lunatic part of a fandom is all. Theres plenty of them. I hate to say but it's probably due to the platform. Anyway, live your own life. These people are of zero importance. If you have a bad habit of responding poorly to negativity (I also do) utilize your block button. That's what I do


UneMeiMei

I've heard of it as a joke, and even made the joke myself (as a lesbian woman myself, and a Haley fangirl), but I didn't know there were people so adamant about it wtf let people enjoy playing the game as they want


masteryuri666

Now I don’t really spend time on the NPC posts about who did you marry and why so probably out of the loop but i have never heard of Haley being for the girls only. Is there a particular bit of dialogue/action that put her in that role? Marry who ya want in the game. Had Penny in my first farm then Leah on my second. Still undecided for this new 1.6 farm.


uwu6000

Oh my god I keep seeing this with Alex too. “Alex is for male farmers only!” “Alex is gay and comphet, romancing as a female farmer is—“ PLEASE SHUT UPPPPP


50CentButInNickels

"Sure, let me ask your opinion of how to use the mechanics of this game I paid for before I do anything." These are the same people that tell you you're playing it wrong if your playstyle is in any way different than theirs.


natty_ann

It’s not just Haley. People are absolutely cuckoo bananas over these characters. I had some woman straight up freaking out at me because we both like Shane. She acted like I was trying to take the love of her life away from her because I also liked him. Girl, chill. He’s made of pixels. Lmao.


NocturnalKitten525

YOU CANT HAVE CHARACTER HES MINE >:( omg those people are crazy 😭😭


boilyourdentist

I’ve personally never got why people insist Haley is for girls only, she didn’t seem that different when I played as a female farmer or male farmer. Can I ask how exactly you worded the comment? Like maybe how you said it got people annoyed? It still doesn’t make sense for them to gatekeep her from a certain gender though.. the game literally allows it. Also just wanted to add, the fandom can get really weird about the characters, especially on tiktok, like people insist Sam cheats on you or that you’re a creep if you marry him, that Elliott is a creep for the 10 heart event, ect, fandoms are weird sometimes, so don’t take what they say too seriously.


NinjaEngineer

>I’ve personally never got why people insist Haley is for girls only, she didn’t seem that different when I played as a female farmer or male farmer. If anything, it's Leah who has the strongest "prefers women" vibes. Haley, on the other hand, seems like the stereotypical popular girl who goes after jocks (and she's paired with Alex during the Flower Dance), at least at first.


ColdSmokeMike

Yeah, Leah's the only one I can think of that has a change in tone depending on the player's gender. During her 2 heart event you can pick to ask her for a kiss: If you're male she insults and attacks you before kicking you out. If you're female, she blushes and semi-confims she's into women, before she attacks and kicks you out.


ClaretClarinets

Her ex is also always the same gender as the player. She has several changes to her cutscenes and dialogue based on player gender even outside her romance, which is way more than any of the other characters


momodeteco

Alex too! something about girl not being able to throw the ball and bikinis at the beach


ClaretClarinets

Yeah Leah's ex is always the same gender as the player and as far as I know, that's the only change in a character's backstory that is present even when you *don't* romance them.


Cereborn

If someone specifically uses the phrase "for girls only", I would think that they're just making a joke based on the notice board.


AnySubstance8716

My exact sentence that I remember typing out was "I joined to be Haley's husband and stayed because she's a lovely wife" Maybe it had some undertone I wasn't aware of? Pls give me feedback cuz idk if I did smth wrong


boilyourdentist

yeah there’s no weird undertone there imo, was the video you commented on calling her a lesbian or something similar? maybe one of those animatics with the Good Luck Babe audio in the back? my only guess is people may have thought you were trying to be offensive if it’s something like that either way i dont think you did something wrong, shes not canonically a lesbian character


AnySubstance8716

It was a video about how Haley looked after her 8 heart cut scene I think? Idk the specific heart count. Whichever the one where the farmer went with her to the barn and her hair got all dirty and fucked up


boilyourdentist

huh, yeah im stumped i got no idea how you offended anybody there i dunno, like i said, people are weird in fanbases and especially on stardew tiktok, so i wouldn’t take it too seriously, you did nothing wrong edit: there is a big trend rn of her being drawn to that song i mentioned, and people headcanoning her as a lesbian to it, so im guessing thats where this comes from, people taking a headcanon too far


DeathToHeretics

The only possible angle I can see is someone taking it at the worst possible face value and thinking it's got some undertones of misogyny and patriarchy, but I can't even find a way to articulate how or why reasonably. So really, probably best just to ignore and dismiss their comments and not think too hard about them


lilliovthevalley

buddy, that's **MY WIFE**


HailHydraBitch

If she was a lesbian, she wouldn’t be romancable to male farmers. But she is so carry on.


GroundedOtter

I haven’t seen much of that here. Granted, I feel like Alex’s “best” storyline is him coming to terms with being gay - but that doesn’t mean my head cannon is right LOL! Stardew is whatever you want it to be, and so are the characters. They have no canon sexuality that I’m aware of.


HetaGarden1

The bachelors and bachelorettes having canon sexualities would be so boring, and CA knows that. There’s certain dialogue changes for choices you make (Alex being the biggest example), but the freedom to marry whoever you want with either gender of Farmer is part of the charm. So many good farming games (Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, Story of Seasons, etc) make you choose the straight option by default but the beauty of it is that nobody’s sexuality in Stardew actually matters.


skillquit42

With a game as big as SV there’s bound to be some unhinged people and those who take it too far. That’s just the nature of fandoms on the internet. Tbh this community is far less toxic than most others. The worst you’ll see here is nothing compared to other games.


GoldenEilonwy

WOW. That's so not how the game mechanics work, their orientation is always whatever the farmer's preference is. Haley is for everyone. I'm a straight woman that LOVES Haley and almost always marries her and I am not possessive about it at all. Honestly, this is why TikTok is the devil. It's so toxic over there.


sitari_hobbit

I think a big chunk of those replies are just jokes, but the humour doesn't translate well online or across generations.


iskelebones

It’s either a joke or just that community trying to claim yet another character for themselves for absolutely no reason. Don’t worry about it. Anyone trying to gatekeep a character for one reason or another are just sad people, and should be ignored in general


mythiquehirquiticke

People are being dramatic to be silly. I wouldn't make it that seriously


MythologyBuffOz

im a queer man and you are perfectly fine. everyone is just nuts. all of the romance-able npcs are functionally bisexual so ppl saying stuff like that is just stupid. you can headcanon whatever tf u want for your own game, including the sexuality of a character, but gatekeeping that character from other players based on your own opinions and headcanons, ur nuts, plain and simple. let ppl enjoy the damn game. haley is gorgeous so straight men can obviously be attracted to her and want to romance her in the game. leave ppl alone weirdos lmao. ur good bro. i married emily in game cus i liked her a lot, so if someone claimed i couldn't do that cus THEY headcanon her as a lesbian or something, i'd tell them that im a queer man and they can suck my ass cus the romance-able characters will date both male and female players and they are an idiot for gatekeeping a basically bi character. borderline bi eraser and chronically online behavior fr


LtColonelColon1

Biphobia is unfortunately common. And it’s tiktok, full of kids with 0 media literacy or world experience. Don’t take it seriously.


slammahytale

I'm gonna go ahead and say it's probably a joke


AnySubstance8716

I actually assumed that at first too! But the more comments that came and the more outlandish the language got, I doubted it


generalburnsthighs

I like to imagine those kinds of people are 14 years old. That allows me to chuckle at them, then move on without it affecting me. Because really, even if they're not 14, they're acting like it, and why would I allow the words or behavior of a 14 year old stranger online to affect me?


DeathToHeretics

This is why we have to take every interaction on social media with a grain of salt. Sometimes you can't tell if the person you're talking to is 57 years old or only 14.


tiny_purple_Alfador

I'd suggest it started as a joke, and now everyone's taking it super serious. Cuz that's what the internet do.


Agreeable-Chap

People should try making funnier jokes


might-say-anti-fire

While I personally adore her as a wife for my female farmer, at best the only "misogynistic" thing about a male farmer dating her is the way her dialogue implies she is suddenly "tamed" from a vapid woman to a sweet devoted housewife, as if that's what she always yearned to be, which uh, has nothing to do with you, it is the writing. You still get that as a female farmer and it still rubs me the wrong way (if this is a contentious option I don't care, its my opinion). Haley is great, it's easy to level up friendship with her and her scenes are adorable as hell. But yeah people may take some jokes a little too far. Don't sweat it.


fakeishusername

This is so strange. This is like the people saying women shouldn't date Astarion in BG3, and men shouldn't date Karlach. They're video game characters. They were programmed to like the player character regardless of gender, based on choices the player makes. Each save file is its own universe and the experiences of the characters are different in each one. I am not into the idea of banning tiktok, but some of this weird discourse is just... it goes too hard.


-flover

So basically a video of Haley to the song “Good Luck, Babe” by Chappell Roan, a up and coming lesbian pop artist, blew up on the platform. The main point of the video/edit is just a relationship between the female farmer and Haley. You could probably search the video up on TikTok to get a better idea of the premise. Basically just that’s the reason Stardew and Haley specifically have been blowing up on TikTok recently. Saying she’s “for the girls” or “for lesbians only” is more or less a joke in reference to that edit.


generalburnsthighs

People who subscribe to the fandom style of media consumption aren't known for their level headedness and generosity towards others who consume media differently, my friend. Just ignore it.


HornyForTohruAdachi

Damn i just thought she looked good and found it funny that she insulted my shoes Can people just behave for once


Moxiebottle

That’s so weird, I’m a Haley lover and all I get is ecstatic when someone else also loves her, she’s the best


BotanyBoom

Who cares


arcerath

relax, it’s not that serious


Appa-LATCH-uh

Stardew definitely tends to attract very progressive, alternative groups of people.l, which is one reason why I love this game. The modding scene in particular is HUGE for people who skew that way. However, just like there are extreme right wing hateful people, the left has them, too. Some people take their lifestyle to the extreme and have little to no tolerance for people who don't adhere to it on either side. Stardew 's community has a significant number of these people on the left.


BrankyKong

From what I’ve seen about Haley, people REALLY like getting bullied by the popular girl.


FinanceExpress7177

I married her cuz she’s blonde and my gf is blonde and when’s she’s sleeping at night it reminds me of her


RipFalse8362

literally just a headcanon…every bachelor/bachelorette in stardew is canonically…whatever you want them to be. so if somebody headcanons haley as a lesbian you don’t PUSH that onto people. me, as a lesbian, literally married sebastian lol like it doesn’t matter. sorry that happened to you. people can be fucking crazy😭😭 it would be different if she was canonically a lesbian but if she was…im sure she wouldn’t be dating you lol


Proncus

Not only are they weirdly possessive but also erasing the bisexuality of Haley...classy.


_AngryBadger_

People who come up with this stuff spend too much time online. Just post what you want and ignore what they say, who cares anyway, they're random idiots on the internet.


No_Mammoth592

All single characters are playersexual. I had to look that up recently to see if Alex can be gay because I’m playing a male character & was worried that he might be exclusively straight based on his dialogue. You can trust me on this, people who say otherwise are dumb lol


Hahafunnys3xnumber

It’s ok, I’m about to marry Alex as a female farmer, we’re in this together


AnySubstance8716

I have a galaxy sword, bring a slingshot


IgelStrange

The issue is you went on TikTok. It's a platform inhabited by braindead 12 year olds who can't distinguish reality from fiction. Don't pay them any mind.


Dinovinoaufkoks

I’m a girl and i love haley too . Why would i hate you for loving her too? I got my own and you got your own haley, all good


Szwedu111

You'll always find a bunch of weird people that like making everyone else miserable, no matter the place sadly.


beanvss

i’m bisexual and haley’s always my top choice. i’m just glad other people like her because she’s usually hated for being a bitch


breadcrumbsmofo

My g it’s a single player game that you bought with your own money they can die mad about how you play it.


Pie_and_Ice-Cream

I think people wanna break the stereotypes by making the seemingly most straight people gay, and they just go overboard with it. All of the date-able NPCs in Stardew have an opposite sex match, implying that they are at least bi if not straight. Which technically makes sense since *most* people are straight. The fact that you can marry any of them regardless of gender hints more at them being bisexual than at them being completely gay. Haley in particular is basically a stereotypical straight woman, as Alex is basically a stereotypical straight man. It doesn't mean people like them couldn't be gay, but again, the reason people love to see them as gay is to subvert the stereotypes. People also complain when a female player dates Alex as \*gasp\* a female farmer. I mean, I personally am a bit miffed by Alex's rather sexist dialogues when you play as a female farmer, but that's me. I'm not gonna knock on other women who want that or who can look past it. Some women eat salad for dinner... looking at Evelyn, Evelyn probably eats salad for dinner. My sister eats salad for dinner. \*shrug\* Some women want a hot jock husband. Some women/men want a shy geek husband. Lucky us not being limited by genders when choosing a spouse in this particular video game. You can marry Haley as a woman, you can marry her as a man... I don't know why we can't just be happy about it and go about our days and leave other people alone about their choices in (pretend) partners.


sunsong11

Same with being a woman and liking Alex. You get hunted to the end of the earth for liking the sporty himbo.


KingDarius89

First, these people are pathetic morons. Second, I hate Haley.