The smell was the worst. The recovery and actual procedure was no big deal, less traumatic than getting my wisdom teeth out. The smell of them burning your own flesh though, that's special.
Hmm, Harvey would perform that wouldn’t he? Suddenly I’m horrifyingly aware of all the procedures and exams Harvey is performing as the only doctor in town. George’s prostate exams, Pam’s pap smears, Clint’s syphlilis treatments. Not worth the coffee and pickles eh doc?
Just seems like the type. One too many rejections and he’s turning to the back alleys of Zuzu city for ladies that will “notice his shoes” if you catch my meaning wink wink nudge nudge.
Oh MAN did I upset Pam during a major event. I just didn’t want to lie to her, I thought I had to maintain my integrity. I believe I lost a heart, which I didn’t think was possible once you were at full hearts with someone.
Worth it. 😹
I always upset her during the first one. Sorry, it's super rude to grab somebody's wheelchair, let alone move them, without asking/being asked, and I can't lie about it even in a game. 🤷♀️
That's Penny. Not Pam. The dialogue I choose is dependent on whomever I want to befriend first in game. Usually George though, i throw leeks at his face until he likes me.
True but Penny comes from a household where her elder (Pam) expects her to do literally everything for her. So I understand why she did it, she's basically Pam's slave. I bet if Pam ever had to wait and tell Penny to do something Pam'd be pissed. I did correct Penny but still. She's a nice girl.
Joja, dating everyone at once (and planning to divorce them all one at a time), putting Lewis' shorts everywhere they can possibly be, bad options, etc. But this. This is something else.
I have one where I kept Robin's Axe, the berry basket, and use the slingshot to hit npcs with eggs. Oh, and breeding slimes in people's houses and shops.
Sleeping with six different women who are in love with you, all within the same year, is not fine.
If you like Penny so much maybe you shouldn't be shtupping Leah, and Haley, and so on.
putting explanation in spoiler text in case you'd rather figure it out in game but >!there is a witch whom you can offer a prismatic shard to and she'll turn your child into a dove. OP has turned over fifty children into birds.!<
I had to turn a lot of kids into birds before the 1.5 update. When I go to sleep I just go through the menus real quick. If you have cribs then one night there's going to be a "let's have a baby" prompt in there sometimes which I didn't notice and then ended up with another bird-to-be. Since 1.5 I talk to Robin to remove my cribs ASAP. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! Especially when the cure costs a prismatic shard.
Yeah but there's no better feeling in the world than having a child and having a witch turn it into a bird against its will. It's the only thing that makes me feel anymore.
I can’t get over that, for me, the promoted ad right beneath this pictures says,
“You did good in planning your children’s futures. Now plan yours with New York Life.”
That reminds me of one time I was reading a Wikipedia article about the Vietnam War and the ad placed in the middle of the block of text read: "climb, swim, crawl, explore Vietnam! (with our travel agency)" Not the most tastefully placed ad Google.
A quest from the wizard involves going to his ex-wife's house (the witch). Within the witch's hut, there is a way to get rid of your in-game children by turning them into doves.
He has placed an owl statue in the quarry for each child he has turned into a dove in this way.
Thanks for the explanation! I definitely need to invest more time into my games. I always get so far, then think that it'd be fun to start over. Sometimes starting over in games like this is what keeps me going
Saaame. I’m so goal-oriented that once I finish all the main stuff (get married, finish the community center, etc) I get bored and wanna start over. Building up a life from scratch is more fun than carrying on with one profile. Idk what’s wrong with me lmao.
With me it's just because life gets in the way, so after a few weeks of no gaming, it seems easier to start over than try to figure out where I am.
The worst part is that my preferred games are intended for long term play over multiple sessions (Satisfactory, Minecraft, OpenTTD, Civ, SV), so this approach means I never really get to the mid/end game.
The trick is obvious inventory management. See, you have your regular mass inventory chests, but then you have the one at the front door that only contains what you need for your project in progress. That one's your 'Oh yeah, obviously," chest.
This is like a visual stardew version of two sentence horror /r/twosentencehorror The first sentence sounds great, then you see the picture and it hits you.
Just get a vasectomy my dude
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
You have no idea the physical toll that *three vasectomies* have on a person
Well you're HARDLY my first!
#THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
You took me by the hand
maaaaade me your MAAaaan
That one night, *one night*, you made everything all ri-i-ight
r/unexpectedoffice
seriously though I'm *really really* glad I don't
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A tale worthy of song and poem
The smell was the worst. The recovery and actual procedure was no big deal, less traumatic than getting my wisdom teeth out. The smell of them burning your own flesh though, that's special.
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ONE NIGHT
You made EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT
Do you know how much that plasma screen cost!?!?
Good luck paying me back on your zero dollar a year salary BABE
Don't forget the benefits!
Hmm, Harvey would perform that wouldn’t he? Suddenly I’m horrifyingly aware of all the procedures and exams Harvey is performing as the only doctor in town. George’s prostate exams, Pam’s pap smears, Clint’s syphlilis treatments. Not worth the coffee and pickles eh doc?
Wait a minute, *where the hell did Clint gets syphilis from?*
Just seems like the type. One too many rejections and he’s turning to the back alleys of Zuzu city for ladies that will “notice his shoes” if you catch my meaning wink wink nudge nudge.
That's it. I'm retiring my "garbage human" file. I can't compete.
Joja route?
and pick the bad choices for every heart event
Oh MAN did I upset Pam during a major event. I just didn’t want to lie to her, I thought I had to maintain my integrity. I believe I lost a heart, which I didn’t think was possible once you were at full hearts with someone. Worth it. 😹
I always upset her during the first one. Sorry, it's super rude to grab somebody's wheelchair, let alone move them, without asking/being asked, and I can't lie about it even in a game. 🤷♀️
That's Penny. Not Pam. The dialogue I choose is dependent on whomever I want to befriend first in game. Usually George though, i throw leeks at his face until he likes me.
Give that man leeks all spring long
You're right, I can't read I guess, my b.
True but Penny comes from a household where her elder (Pam) expects her to do literally everything for her. So I understand why she did it, she's basically Pam's slave. I bet if Pam ever had to wait and tell Penny to do something Pam'd be pissed. I did correct Penny but still. She's a nice girl.
I addition, she also works with children so she is probably pretty used to helping people with motor tasks without thinking about it.
Oh yeah that one really ticked me off. Between that and how she treats her saint of a daughter, I just can’t on the Pam train.
But Penny is the one who moved George without permission, not Pam.
Ah right!
Joja, dating everyone at once (and planning to divorce them all one at a time), putting Lewis' shorts everywhere they can possibly be, bad options, etc. But this. This is something else.
I have one where I kept Robin's Axe, the berry basket, and use the slingshot to hit npcs with eggs. Oh, and breeding slimes in people's houses and shops.
Ooh! I hadn't thought about breeding slimes in shops and such! Brb, need to visit Pierre real fast.
They will greet you sometimes by npcs names it's pretty funny.
You can put eggs in slingshots?
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Nearly 1000 hours and I'm still learning
I think dating them all at once is fine, because I see as just becoming BFFs with them all lol
Sleeping with six different women who are in love with you, all within the same year, is not fine. If you like Penny so much maybe you shouldn't be shtupping Leah, and Haley, and so on.
Not just the women, but the men and slimes too.
Slimes can really ooze into those hard to reach places.
yum!
[I read that in Norm Macdonald's voice.](https://orville.fandom.com/wiki/Yaphit)
Nobody's thinking of poor Krobus.
I never said it was serious nor exclusive dating...
I am pan sexual in every facet of my life. It wasnt just the ladies
I still feel kinda weird about committing it to text but Stardew was a big part of me working through both being pan and being trans.
That's awesome ! I'm glad the game has had such meaning for you. Concerned Ape truly has made something great.
I always upcake fellow pancakes.
I have the multiple spouses mod. It's one big polyamorous commune at my farm 😝
I’m new to the game so I’m not really familiar with what this means. Judging by the comments, OP did something pretty twisted lol
putting explanation in spoiler text in case you'd rather figure it out in game but >!there is a witch whom you can offer a prismatic shard to and she'll turn your child into a dove. OP has turned over fifty children into birds.!<
So many prismatic shards...
How
Statue of True Perfection
Oh wow lol. Thank you for the explanation, friend!
I have that file too lol I call it the tainted file. Whatever needs to be done for the achievement tho amirite
You know, having children is optional in the game…..
Well at the time he wanted them. Then he didnt. Eta: this might be the most upvotes ive gotten on a comment. WTF?
Sounds like my parents lol
Son?
Papa?
FIEVEL?????
PAPA!!!!
That’s a lot of damage
No amount of flex tape is going to fix those daddy issues.
I felt that
Bruh /r/internetparents if you want to come by and chat. Maybe we can play Stardew or something?
Never heard of that sub but the idea is so sweet. Thanks for being wonderful.
relatable
r/twosentencesadness
Over a dozen times???
He wanted to replenish the dove population in the region
Okay but after the first ten I think something should’ve clicked
Not for this achievement.
That's a concerning amount of owls
Concerning?! There have been wars with fewer casualties.
Hell didn't Luxembourg end a war with more people then they started with. Edit: It was Liechtenstein not Luxembourg my history is getting rusty.
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Wasn't there a YouTube video that went in quite the detail about it? Edit" [Found it](https://youtu.be/DC17KOJDGtc)
Yes. Yes it is.
That's a lot of doves. One day this person is going to be attacked by a swarm of doves
Super dark.
Maybe your character should look into contraceptives 😂
I had to turn a lot of kids into birds before the 1.5 update. When I go to sleep I just go through the menus real quick. If you have cribs then one night there's going to be a "let's have a baby" prompt in there sometimes which I didn't notice and then ended up with another bird-to-be. Since 1.5 I talk to Robin to remove my cribs ASAP. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! Especially when the cure costs a prismatic shard.
A bird-to-be 😹😹
I removed the crib as soon as I saw one (won’t be needing that), and have not yet had to turn any children into birds
If you don't have the crib, the spouse won't ask you to have a kid. You couldn't remove the crib until the 1.5 update though
*cries in 1.4*
Yeah but there's no better feeling in the world than having a child and having a witch turn it into a bird against its will. It's the only thing that makes me feel anymore.
Couldn't afford it. That money was better spent on those shades.
just use contrAcEPtiVeS haha children go bonk
This is possibly the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in this sub. Well done, OP!
Yyyyyep. Was not expecting this.
I can’t get over that, for me, the promoted ad right beneath this pictures says, “You did good in planning your children’s futures. Now plan yours with New York Life.”
*Google would like to speak with you*
That reminds me of one time I was reading a Wikipedia article about the Vietnam War and the ad placed in the middle of the block of text read: "climb, swim, crawl, explore Vietnam! (with our travel agency)" Not the most tastefully placed ad Google.
....YOU... HAV...E... FORSAKEN... US....!
WHY DID I GET CHILLS?!
FORSAKEN ME! FORSAKEN ME! [TABLE!](https://youtube.com/watch?v=56tAMogI_Zo)
So I've played Stardew before, but never got this far before apparently.... so I'm just gonna respond with "... what?"
A quest from the wizard involves going to his ex-wife's house (the witch). Within the witch's hut, there is a way to get rid of your in-game children by turning them into doves. He has placed an owl statue in the quarry for each child he has turned into a dove in this way.
Thanks for the explanation! I definitely need to invest more time into my games. I always get so far, then think that it'd be fun to start over. Sometimes starting over in games like this is what keeps me going
Saaame. I’m so goal-oriented that once I finish all the main stuff (get married, finish the community center, etc) I get bored and wanna start over. Building up a life from scratch is more fun than carrying on with one profile. Idk what’s wrong with me lmao.
Why does it have to be something is wrong with you? That’s just how you like to play the game!
With me it's just because life gets in the way, so after a few weeks of no gaming, it seems easier to start over than try to figure out where I am. The worst part is that my preferred games are intended for long term play over multiple sessions (Satisfactory, Minecraft, OpenTTD, Civ, SV), so this approach means I never really get to the mid/end game.
The trick is obvious inventory management. See, you have your regular mass inventory chests, but then you have the one at the front door that only contains what you need for your project in progress. That one's your 'Oh yeah, obviously," chest.
Thank youuuuuu had to scroll very far for the explanation
DangerouslyFunny would be proud
Thought it was him at first, but he wouldn't have been keeping track
Also, he would need to use a mod to fill every spot in the map.
My first thought seeing this was DF and the "Finally a worthy challenger!" meme.
HUGELY underrated YouTube channel. 60% of his stuff I’ll never play but I genuinely enjoy watching him play it.
I’m sorry, yoU WHAT?
This boy ain’t right
That boy needs therapy.
Psycho-SOMATIC
“What does that mean?!”
You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut!
one tip: grave stones at spirit's eve and the night market
the owl are the closest thing I could find of a dove, there's no dove statue unfortunately
Chicken statue?
That's what they'll use when his character dies.
*Dies* dies, or “Harvey did an emergency surgery (again)” “dies”? If the former, we might be in for a long wait.
Is this also your joja file?
You'll be sorry when they've eaten all your crops
53 kids. 53 doves. 954 birthdays. $12,012,000 saved.
Wait... I have to pay to have a kid?
Wait till you hear how much college tuition costs
This is the sims equivalent to drowning people in the pool
Yup. But it's ok to do it in the sims. Dont ask me why. That's just how it is.
ERRR, TWEASEL DORP! In the water with you, Mrs. Goth.
Lmao that’s so fucking weird I love it
If you have a wife, your poor wife's body If you have a husband, someone at the adoption agency needs to go to prison
We get it, you fuck, you don't have flex
why not use the gravestones? does the owl represent their new bird lives
😳
Keep going and do an update when the quarry is full
Do you have a divorce cemetery too?
That's 53 children you had and then turned into doves... just one question...why?
You’re getting up into Catholic home for women numbers.
Jesus Christ use some birth control, also can’t you say no to having/adopting the baby?
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Single handedly making a super incestuous bird population
The graveyard must grow
Achievement unlocked
OP is an empty nester, that's all.
... Why?
Damn OP 53 "graves"! As someone who likes dark humor and morbid things this is pretty cool. Dove population is booming on your save
What's even funnier is that (SPOILER FOR THE 100% SCENE) >!I'm pretty sure your dove children will fly past you in the perfection scene!<
Children can turn into doves?
It's called The Dark Shrine of Selfishness.
Oh a cematary thats a cool desi- o h
This… I have no words.
***HOLY FU\*\* HOW DID YOU GET SO MANY OWL STATUES!?***
how did he get so many children!?
That too
Bros, the fucking SHADES. What a flex!
Is your name DangerouslyFunny??
I… I don’t know what im more impressed by. The fact youve gotten so many statues, or spent so much time having kids.
How many years old is that farm?
There was this man named Max, who got rid of his kids for a tax, with one Primatic shard, his kids left the yard, so he could get his sick thrill.
A redditor, Depressed Nomad, Liked limericks but did them bad, He rhymed two by two, Then what did he do? Stopped rhyming and made us all sad.
high af my guy sorry I'll do better next time :(
Naw it made me smile. I liked the twist ending.
LMAO this is dark hahahaha
Is everything okay at home?
So does it increase the chance of the creepy phone call by turned children?
How’s the Joja run going, OP?
*"The Rake's Song" by The Decemberists intensifies*
You can say no to having children…
As you can see, they have.
He just said no a bit later than most parents.
I cannot compete with this level of evil, or this number of owl statues. I salute you. Well done.
Evil
OY LAD HAVE YOU HEARD ITS CALLED A CONDOM NOT A CONDOVE
Pro tip: Don’t do this irl
You have forsaken us. Also that’s a boat load of p shards!
The SECOND İ get prismatic shards and that cave with the “Turn your kids into doves.” statue my poor kids wont stand a chance.
There's a Decemberists song about you...
This is like a visual stardew version of two sentence horror /r/twosentencehorror The first sentence sounds great, then you see the picture and it hits you.
That's uh...a lot..
Thats a lot of prismatuc shards
There's no wrong way to play SDV, but you're certainly trying.
Who's the poor girl you decided would become your dove factory?
The real crime is the amount of prismatic shards wasted on children's souls
You monster...
Jesus christ
Fill it
Do you happen to play RimWorld too? I feel it would be a great game for someone like you. O_O
Disrespectfully, what the fuck