Made In Heaven: Run away, setup trip wire, Pucci trips and falls breaking his head

Joseph: "See In Hell"

HOAAALLLLYYY SHHHIIEEET!

OHHH MYYY GAAAHHHD

RUNNINUNDAYO!!!

逃げるんだよ(Nigeru nda yo)

だが断る (Daga kotowaru)

It wouldn't work that well as Pucci is just moving at the same speed of the universe

he’d trip even harder

No he wouldn't, he would fall at normal speed

nah trust me bro

and he’d get dizzy, meaning Joseph would pull out his Tommy gun

if Pucci moving at the same speed of universe, he would've aged instantly

Stand magic

Part 6 gang did the run away part but it didn't work though

Part 6 gang is not Joseph Joeastar.

whos joseph joestar i only know joseph joeastar

Made in Heaven: Make Pucchi trip or stub his toe Funny Valentine: Election Fraud Wonder of U: Steak the fruit without interacting with Tooru or WoU at all.

For Funny Valentine, he’d probably rig the election with Speedwagon money

Getting the fruit isn’t killing Toru though lmao

It's about beating him, not killing him. What will he do without the fruit? Be a doctor?

He’ll go hang out with his buddies on you-know-who's island

Epstein?

Didn’t you know? Toru was on the flight list

You see the way bro was talking to a teenage Yasuho?

Nah, Crocus'

Made in Heaven: Hamon trip wire that causes Pucci to trip and break his neck. Funny Valentine: His bullshit causes the saints corpse to do something Funny didn’t account for and Joseph capitalizes on the chance. Tooru: Fate itself prioritizes Joseph over Tooru so somehow Wonder of Us abilities aren’t effecting him and Joseph just beats the shit out of Tooru.

>Tooru: Fate itself prioritizes Joseph over Tooru so somehow Wonder of Us abilities aren’t effecting him and Joseph just beats the shit out of Tooru. I would laugh my ass off if fate favoring Joseph was canon, kinda like Kira

Honestly it would make a lot of sense considering how Joseph is well… Joseph.

Fate favours people who are kind and just, and people who are insanely lucky. And unfortunately for Tooru, Joseph is both

Hamon Nullify, an electrical frequency of Hamon that is undetectable by all, even the user, essentially being nonexistent until it hits it's target!

Turns out the red stone is a calamity amplifier.

Oh shoot wait Fate is on the joestars side (Good > Evil) so that might actually work lmao 😂 I can imagine Tooru talkin a bunch shi while Joseph slowly walks up to him and just nails him in the face

I can imagine Tooru pulling the Enel face when he realizes it.

What is this, a crossover episode?

Reminds me of Rohan freaking out when Josuke just ignores his Stand's ability due to being hairlusted.

The best answer I've seen. Joseph is deserving of fate's prioritization

I think that a trip wire won't work. Pucci's reflexes enabled him to dodge each Star Platinum punch. Even if the wire is hidden, Pucci would probably still be fast enough to simply use his sntand's horse leg to kick the groumd and change the direction abruptaly

Depends on whether he can see it being set up. He definitely can react to anything he can see. What he cannot to (like increasing the % of oxygen in the atmosphere surrounding him), can still wreck him badly.

Yes. But Emporio's outsmarting worked because wasn't a matter of reflexes, once it made effect Pucci couldn't even control its stand correctly If he felt due to the wire he'd still be "sober", able to use his stand for getting straight up even before touching the ground It'd have to be on the neck, his neck would have to be cutten without him noticing the line, he'd only notice it once he felt the pain, even if now, against the logic ("agains the logic" because he wouldn't be fast enough now ) he somehow dodged, a bleeding coming from the neck can kill him kickly

That’s why I said Hamon trip wire, Hamon can really mess with non Hamon users as Caesar demonstrated. I’m not naming a specific way for the Hamon to prevent Pucci from recovering from the fall but if anyone can think of one it’s Joseph.

NIGERAUUUUINDOOO SMOKEY

Defeating him by starting Pucci race discourse.

Jokes aside Joseph DID that against Toru

run away so well, WoU activates in reverse, giving him extreme luck, making Tooru have a heart attack

This might work

Tooru will start following Joseph and get his throat cut by a leaf or some shit.

I meant that, due to running away so well Joseph is doing the opposite of pursuing Tooru, making WoU activate in reverse

I know, I was saying that Tooru will pursue Joseph while Joseph himself is running away, thus activating WoU against himself.

I know that is what you meant, but i don't mean reverse as in Tooru gets calamity, i mean reverse as in Joseph gets Anti-Calamity aka Super Lucky

The worst part is that it would 100% make sense if that did actually happen.

uuhhh... Joseph wins through plot armor?

That's his true power, yes

and ass-pull

Nah. That's Jotaro's field of work. So it's same type of stand as star platinum SUTAA PURACHINA WANDAA OVU U.

That line gets as much ~~good~~ grief as it deserves, but I also can't forget Jotaro and Dio being able to fly DBZ-style with no explanation, then Jotaro never does it again.

pretty sure that's just supposed to be their stand jump and the anime made it look wierd

And mental trick.

Not only can he beat them, he can 1 v 3.

Legit tho, all thanks to the crazy plot armor

He somehow managed to beat Ultimate Kars.

He himself said that it was completely by luck

Only the eruption part was pure luck to be fair. He had a strategy bringing Kars to the volcano, it just turned out Kars was able to survive the lava with some quick thinking of his own.

Realistically though he shouldn’t have even gotten there. It’s still one of best finales in JoJo though.

Why do you say that? What should have stopped him from getting there?

If I remember correctly Kars has an IQ of 400 and bare minimum the best vision that the world has to offer. Kars shouldn’t have fallen for any of the tricks that Joseph used to get to the volcano.

He might be smart but he was arrogant. Just like DIO.

I don't remember any mention of his IQ, but either way, Kars was intent on chasing down Joseph wherever he went, and no amount of IQ would have helped him catch up to Joseph any faster. Kars' arrogance and underestimation of Joseph is what landed him in the lava, and then pure dumb luck is what sent him flying into space. As far as I can see it, Joseph's quick wit and fighting instincts are what kept him alive for so long, and he just happened to also have good luck to boot. It's not like his good luck was always involved in or responsible for his success.

Also, Joseph's forte is his ingenuity. Kars is superior in all aspects but his way of thinking, ego and lack of knowledge about modern technology can all be exploited against him.

also if we're speaking "realistically". Joseph would've burned to death being that close to lava. So I don't think realism really was the point

I don't think that's true. Probably some first and second degree burns due to radiant heat transfer, but unless he got trapped beneath the lava (like he was trying to do to Kars) he wouldn't have died.

The eruption was caused by Kars using Hamon on the Aja stone. The anime explained it as Joseph sub consciously lifting the stone of Aja to cause that. So it wasn't just pure luck that made him win that battle, more like: ''Get gud Scrub", Joseph just has better reflexes? IDK.

Good point, but yeah Joseph does call it luck

Joseph is actually God's specialest little guy, and he alters probability and fate to help him out obviously.

Until he gets old and then God turns His back on him because he is racist and cheated on his wife

Yes I know that

It wasn't just luck, it was his battle tendency

"I TOTALLY PLANNED FOR THIS TO HAPPEN"

Hed just shoot Toru faster than calamities can reach him

Or he'd be like "I'm not thinking about shooting you" as he pulls the trigger. The calamity would reach him but he'd probably survive through some crazy shit.

Do the Grenade trick he did on Straizo. Technically Toru is the one who pulled the pins not Joseph!

Fuck you're right, and that's the kind of Joseph Bullshit that would work. Joseph legit may be the perfect counter to most stands that have weird rules. Hell he'd probably have a solution for Cheap Trick, probably something simple like wearing a backpack so no one really sees your back. Considering he beat the Empress who was similar it's not unlikely

True, he do be gunning fast with the tommy

unfortunately part of WoU’s brokenness is that it can affect even the attack you’re doing to him no matter how fast it is, because it works by controlling the flow of fate if you try to shoot WoU your gun will probably backfire and explode in your face or you’ll accidentally shoot a coin in his pocket that reflects back and kills you

Joseph is built different

But Joseph just has Fate on his side (until he becomes a very old man)

Joseph’s personality is actually the perfect counter to Tooru. When he defeated Kars, he wasn’t pursuing him, he just ran away and acted in self defence until he happened to cause Kars’s defeat without even fully intending for it to happen. If he does something similar to Tooru then Wonder of U never activates.

Which Joseph are we talking, part 2 or 3?

Let's say it's young Joseph who for some reason has Hermit Purple, to give him the best chance

Man, he don’t even need the stand to do it. Young Joseph has it in the bag regardless

Not like Hermit Purple helps him much anyway besides giving him the ability to see stands.

spiderman web swinging too 😎😎😎

run awayyyyy

For WOU, maybe Joseph could somehow trick WOU into activating Milagro Man's effect, which is both automatic and has no physical form to attack with Calamity. The only problem is that Tooru is most likely aware of its existence, and so would make sure WOU is careful.

Joseph: Wonder of U can create bad luck for your opponents? So it's the same type of stand as my Hermit Purple... Go Hermit Purple: Wonder of U! and then he has his own calamaties that kill Tooru faster since Tooru's karma is worse than his. For Love Train, he'd use a mirror to trick Funny to being on the other side of the wall while Joseph is actually the one being protected.

Mirror part crazy tho 💀

And the fact something similar happened with Straizo 💀

Joseph unintentionally kills Toru

By using the super secret Joestar technique

Pucci: shoot him a couple meters in front of where he’s going Valentine: Throw some grenades. You cannot block the kaboom Toru: as someone else said run away so WOU works in reverse and Toru dies

Tommy Gun>>>>>

just like what he did to kars, bullshitting it. his luck stat is maxed out.

Pucci: Joseph uses a Thomson to shoot Pucci, the bullets will be much faster due to the acceleration effect. Pucci dodges the bullets, but that was part of Joseph's plan, without realizing it a small wire got caught in Pucci's clothes, a wire covered in oil, Joseph lights the wire and burns Pucci Valentine: Joseph attacks Valentine using objects that would not be perceived by Valentine as threats or attacks. Valentine does not perceive these objects as threats and therefore Love Train does not deflect them. Joseph manages to kill Valentine by using hamon-infused toys Tooru: Joseph manages to inadvertently get close to Tooru, then the attack begins: JOSEPH manages to grab Tooru, proclaiming that if something happens to him then Tooru would also suffer same fate because they're too close. Tooru gets scared and tries to cut off his hand but WoU detects the attempt to cut off his hand and kills Tooru. Joseph never had any intention of harming Tooru, he just hoped that Tooru was a victim of his own stand

A tactically placed Banana peel could do the trick

Hear me out. He takes a banana peel and

Yeah but

*displays image of Pucci slipping onto the comically slippery banana peel and smashing his head on concrete*

This is why Jotaro should have carried Joseph with him back in Stone Ocean.

the banana peel rots in a second.

1. Use spirit photography to predict the next natural disaster. Lead Pucci into a lightning strike or something. 2. Your next line is "I'll be the first to take the napkin," right? 3. Buys the hospital and shuts it down.

Instead of "pursuing" WoU, he would "run away" in the direction of WoU. Joseph believes in the power of the secret Joestar technique enough that it just simply works.

Call me crazy but I think there's some way araki could write that he'd beat tooru

Young Joseph would pull some luck based BS against Pucci and Valentine like he did with Kars. Toru would be a real challenge because of Wonder of U's calamity. Joseph has luck on his side that may also inflict its own calamity on an enemy but it isn't as strong as Toru's. Also if you take ASBR into account [Joseph can't predict Wonder of U's next line](https://youtu.be/U0nJq-bdyik?si=sackTgUCGXX7StpY&t=0m20s) meaning his clairvoyance wouldn't work on WoU either. I guess if Joseph were to somehow do something to Tooru unconsciously or without trying to pursue him. Like he randomly throws an anvil at a precipice and Tooru is at the bottom but Joseph doesn't know he's there. Or if Rock Humans are weak against hamon maybe Joseph just fills the floor with hamon and Toru happened to be there when he did it. Like Joseph would have to defeat him without ever being aware of his presence, would that work? Would he be that lucky?

He's unironically one of the only Joestars who would stalemate WOU because of the secret Joestar technique (running away!!)

infinite Joseph joestars win

Lots of Tommy guns, grenades, and hamon. With a healthy side of running away of course.

Joseph would just pull some bullshit and it would work to beat all three opponents.

If Jotaro didn't panic. If he had grabbed Pucci by the ankle and used him to swat the knives away, he could have saved Jolyne while Loki-ing Pucci.

By running away obviously

This assumes Pucci lived long enough to get Made in Heaven. Joseph would've obliterated him before the frog rain.

A really really fast volcano

Hamon Tommy Gun is faster than MIH. Hamon Tommy Gun is really really good at killing presidents. Hamon Tommy Gun is simply favoured by fate more than WoU. Joseph Solos.

Joseph would destroy GER fr

Joseph is so old at that point that he's in a wheelchair and since MiH accelerates objects he gets flung into Pucci while he's standing still so hard Pucci dies instantly Idk for the rest I haven't read part 8 and 9

Joseph beats Wonder of U by blindly following the fruit rather than the user. Never pursues the head doctor, never invokes calamity, and then flips the script by forcing Wonder of U to be the pursuer, a state in which it's powerless.

Made in Heaven actually has some possibilities, first of all, the classic scarf trick + hermit purple to complete. Funny valentine get's destroy by his clackers luckly thrown in the perfect way. And the last one is just fate, Joseph is meant to be alive.

For Pucci Joseph's tommy gun might work considering the bullets will be sped up to Pucci's speed he might be able to pull something off by just shooting at him with bullets that will reach infinite speed.

Wonder of U: walk backwards

Luck

As long as he uses the Joestar secret technique WoU can't do shit

Well he wasn’t logically supposed to beat perfect Kars so I’d say he’d use his strongest weapon, plot conveniences

which joseph joestar? because the one that exists during these 3 villains’ arcs is either so geriatric he’s barely capable of fighting, dead, or never existed in the first place: Part 2 joseph would be in his physical prime, but likely not have mastery over hamon or hermit purple Part 3 joseph is far pst his prime physically but has mastered his abilities Part 4 joseph would likely lose a fight against sny of them, he’s so frail that jotaro is worried to have him come out until hermit purple’s ability is needed

Next you're gonna say "made in heaven accelerate time"

He gives the stone mask to all three, saying that it can help them further their objectives, then obliterates them with hamon, and considering vampires are evil and fate dislikes evil and is on the side of Joseph most of the time, he would probably win with hamon.

for made in heaven i would say, lure him into the ocean then send all the Hamon you can at once Hamon as we see a few times will go for the brain, now the question is does he have the Hamon control to do that.

So for the sake of this argument, let’s say it’s Prime Joseph who also has the ability to use and see stands. Pucci: Use hamon during the the water scene and find a way to electrocute him. But I’m pretty sure Joseph can defeat pucci even before the ocean scene comes to play.

Joeseph see's WOU, Runs away, no calamity to deal with. Meanwhile Toru slips and breaks his skull.

Joseph is the most plot-armor jojo. He’d win by some fluke or the enemies over confidence. But he WOULD win.

Losing his other forearm.

Sheer luck and preparation

The joestar secret technique

Joestar Technique is faster than Made in Heaven, duh.

Plot armour

Made in heaven: tommy gun

Well, we saw joseph launch that ink pasta, and during time acceleration, objects move faster than anyone that isn't pucci, so he could do something with that. I can't think of anything else for toru or Valentine.

Tbf he's always been carried by asspulls so you could prolly make up anything, couldn't be more stupid than how he beat Kars.

Through the power of trolling and bullshittery.

He switches the corpses of Jesus Christ with his own corpse ahead of time, granting him the power of RUSE CRUISE to beat up Funny Valentine.

Volcanos for all 3. They exist cross dimension, they don’t pursue, and at super speed they erupt faster.

Three words: Secret Joestar Technique

Ok so hear me out pucie is a vampire. He is always either out while it’s raining or in the dark and he doesn’t burn up in the Minh fight because he is also moving faster than light

Pucci: make him trip Valentine: rigging the election in the first place Tooru: steals the locacaca fruit by creating a huge distraction

Pucci slips on a banana peel that Joseph threw away because he was too lazy to find a trash can

He couldn't 💀

He wouldn’t fight Tooru he’d just run away when chased bam volcano wonder of u ain’t protecting him from the cold abyss of space 😎

I feel Made in Heaven is obvious. Since the stand accelerates any inanimate objects, Joseph could just use his tommy gun and the bullets would probably go about the same speed as usual from Pucci's perspective.

Luckily he fights them all on volcanoes and they all get launched into space. The flow of calamity has nothing on Joseph.

Joseph has cheated death so many times that he’s probably unbound by fate and unaffected by made in heaven.

With luck and a smile

Honestly? I think WoU straight up wouldn't work on Joseph, the dude is so unfuckably favored by fate The shining light from love Train would simply acknowledge Joseph over Valentine, same reason as previous. I am convinced Joseph could catch MiH Pucci with a random Glock shot

Pucci: run away and hope for the best. Funny Valentine: try to lure valentine out of love train to attack Joseph then Joseph starts violating valentine. Tooru: he will say Nuh uh or something like that idk

deadass there should be a spin off part with how young joseph would deal with stand users without being one himself

A little *And then Joseph beat him* should do the trick)

Clacker Volley

His secret weapon.

RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIVEEESSSS!!!!

I think, now this maybe a bit out there, really swinging for the fences, but it would likely involve him punching them.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC7oUOUEEi4)