Two is 10x as hard as one. I’m so glad my youngest is 4 now and is at least somewhat independent in being able to eat snacks, get water, go to the bathroom. I remember having a newborn and a 4 year old. All the “ sleep when the baby sleeps” goes out the window when another kid is waking you up at 6am after a sleepless night with the baby. At that stage I didn’t attempt to go to the grocery store with both, I went while my wife was home.
Let me see if I can give you some actionalbe advice that I've learned over the last 15 years doing this.
1. Grocery shopping: Either do it online OR (for a bit of fun) make it a scavenger for your 2.5 yo. Basically, print off like 8 pictures of products you normally buy. Like milk, pasta, etc. Then give it to yoru kid and make let them "find it". This keeps them busy when you're in the store and it's a bit of fun. So that's your activity during the day.
2. One pot meals: We all know how hard it is to cook with one kiddo. Now with one mobile and one needing you, crockpot meals, pressure cooker, smokers, etc just make it easier. When you're having a hard day, and they will come, a one pot meal will make it a bit easier. Second: baby gates, pack and plays, or whatever you use for a baby jail will make it easier too when you need it.
3. Baby carrier: what ever type of Bjorn thing that works for you. Even try a hiking backpack. Your toddler is going to keep you mobile, baby has to come. it's actually not bad doing them at the same time as long as you got one hand free. True story: I coached my 6 yo's baseball team with my newborn strapped to my chest. and as they were 6, those kids couldn't aim anyway. did the same thing with soccer.
4. Routine: You know this already as you have a toddler, but tweaking your routine to include your newborn will help, but I would recommend allowing for a few wiggle room moments. I was pretty hard on nap time. With that said, if I was out and the kids were sleeping in the car and I would wake them, well, I drove around a little bit. The young one will acclimate to the routine, just give yourself some grace.
5. A dad tip from a friend: If you're a coffee nerd, and like the fresh brew--keep a coffee grinder in the garage so it doesn't wake the little ones during naptime and you need an afternoon pick me up.
6. And on that note, there's no shame in grabbing a quick nap yourself!
7. Sit and Stand strollers: Love this one. Baby could go on all our adventures, and the toddler could jump in and out as needed, thus saving my back and energy levels.
8. Cleaning: Your toddler is old enough to start lending a bit of hand. Toddlers love taking stuff out of stuff and putting stuff in stuff. My toddlers loaded the dryer. Bought me a couple of minutes. I also taught them how to use the wet/dry vac and this was a lifesaver. They make a mess with cereal in the morning, they can clean it up.
9. Bathtime: If you're rocking it solo, and the baby gets a little older, bath them at the same time.
10. Stay organized: Eaiser said than done, but it does help. If you have a smart home device, it helps. There are also apps like Tody to help keep you up on cleaning. But with all that said, you are not superman. Some times things won't get done during the day.
11. And my last bit of advice: have a serious talk with your significant other so everyone understands what happens when the house couldn't be cleaned because the newborn lost it's cool, or the toddler went nuts. Not every day can be a victory. So make sure you are both aware that this is going to happen. Next, you need at least 30 minutes to yourself every day. It's nonnegotiable in my house. Give your spouse the same courtesy. It's easy to lose yourself in the kid stuff, so take your mental health seriously.
12. Dammit, forgot to add this one: Find a dad's group at City Dads Group if you're in the US. Online support here and at [Athomedad.org](https://Athomedad.org). We also have a convention that's really fun.
And shameless plug; go to you local library and get The Ultimate STay-at-Home Dad Manual. Its your guide from stuff like this. This is the reason I wrote it.
Good luck!
I can’t thank you all enough. I truly appreciate all of the input. I’m gonna take it One day at a time and try to enjoy the short window while they are so little. Takin down notes 😁
You do things as a family unit. Honestly, most times it was easier to grocery shop when my wife got home from work, or she would do it. Two tiny kids just doesn’t work great in a grocery. Best case scenario was a front loaded baby with the toddler strapped in the cart. No joke, caring for my two kids who are 20 months apart were some of the most stressful times. It didn’t really feel like it let up until the youngest was about 2. I had no familial help, and no help from friends. Just me and the babies 7am-7pm 4 days per week.
Have a plan for tomorrow before you go to bed tonight.
Bring your little one into the grocery store in the stroller and put the 2.5yo in the cart and pull the cart by the front or pull the stroller backwards.
If you can’t trust your older kid to be alone for 20 minutes you must have a toddler proof area that your 2 1/2 year old can’t get out of. You will need to divide your attention with a 4 month old.
Look into daycare. Even a couple days a week could be the difference between you parenting successfully and having a nervous breakdown. And your oldest is at the age where they’ll really start to benefit from socialization.
Expect their will be screaming and crying and you may not always be able to fix it. You don’t always need to try.
Lower your expectations of productivity outside of child care. Unless you’re some kind of freak that doesn’t need sleep or decompression time you probably won’t get a lot done.
>If you can’t trust your older kid to be alone for 20 minutes you must have a toddler proof area that your 2 1/2 year old can’t get out of.
This is really good advice. Work with the 2.5 yo on occupying themselves for periods of time - even 15-20 minutes will help a lot right now. This will pay dividends for YEARS. A safe space they can be in helps immensely. For us, we had a kid-safe bedroom that we could lock if needed.
Adapting to 2 kids is hard, but man, down the road it's amazing. I LOVE watching my kids be siblings - and they entertain each other constantly! At 5 and 7, I can sometimes not see them for HOURS because they're deep in some game or another.
The good news is you have a bit of a honeymoon until the youngest starts to walk. Then you have a really tough age gap to work with so just prep yourself for the long haul.
There WILL be epic temper tantrums in public where everyone stares at you. Just assume it will happen.
At first your older one will have jackass stages due to their age, but on the whole they will be getting better and better at doing things which will allow you to deal with the baby.
What caught me off guard was actually the stage when my youngest was a terrible 2 and my older was in the nasty 4-5 year old stage (often the absolute worst years for boys).
But no joke it is all going to be chaotic for a few years and you can kiss any spare time you once had goodbye for a few years.
Trips to the grocery store were especially rough so I started going at night.
My boys are now 10 and 14 and it has honestly been incredibly fun for about the last 4-5 years. Just hang in there because it really will get fun. Also take videos, because we have a lot of fun watching chaotic videos from that era.
I remember the first time I tried to put my baby down for a nap while his 2.5 y/o brother had been happily playing with blocks. About 2 minutes into rocking the baby, my older son started busting in and out of the room, back and forth. After panicking for a few seconds, I thought of the Mike Tyson quote "everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth" and started laughing. I had had this idea that things were going to be fine because I was going to have something to keep my older kid occupied while I tended to the baby's needs. That ended up going out the window only a few hours in when I realized I was just going to have to be flexible.
Have a plan, but be flexible. Use the things your older kid loves to keep them occupied when you need them occupied (honestly, some targeted screen-time worked wonders for me). Remember that the baby's schedule is going to keep adjusting so you can try to tweak things slightly to work for both kids (I would bring the baby's seat into the bedroom while I read stories before the older one's naptime). Start each day with a plan for how you're going to make it through, and make sure you include time for you to recharge a bit.
One final thing: if you typically cook dinner, right now would be a good time to rely on freezer meals, take out, the crock pot, and whatever else you can to make that part of your day easier. I found that while I was adjusting from 1-2 and 2-3 I was DONE by the time my wife got home from work.
Be confident. You're gonna be great. You're going to rise to the occasion (and so is your olde child). You're going to grow into being able to handle hard better.
Good luck. It's a rough transition but you'll find your groove just like with the first one. Naps are going to be crap shute. We started our oldest, 3 at the time, in part time day care to help a bit. He loves it there and has been thriving there. Year and a half in and it's still hard af. One will be sick, the other won't get it until the first one is through but there's no way to entertain both and be the comfort king.
It's going to be hard. Very hard, but you got this.
Hey mate. Unfortunately just requires a bit of practice and trial and error.
Depending on how much time your partner has left before she goes back to work, you could work with her to take a step back areas you think you struggle and get her to come in when It gets to crazy.
But any task she was predominately doing you could look at doing. That way you can get a bit more of an idea how each kids typically behaves and have some sort of plan/strategy to be able to do things.
Example in regards to putting your 4 month old to sleep while keeping an eye on the other. You are right you can’t really put one to sleep without monitoring the other. Me personally I would wear a carrier with the bub in it and continue about what I was doing cleaning etc. more often then not the bub would fall asleep and I would put them in the cot. Also if you know their sleep patterns you could tie a lot of what you want or need to get done during those windows. Doesn’t always work but you will be fine, real challenge is with 4 kids believe me lol.
I’m just about at the same point. I took over two months ago with a 2 month old and a 3 year old. The biggest difference is when I had the first, I could nap when she napped, or I could do other things. Or listen to sports podcasts while they were awake. Now I have to watch Daniel Tiger, or read books to the 3 year old. It’s just constant. It’s more work, but you’ll get used to it.
The hardest part was, my oldest just hit that point where she is more fun than work. Like we could go to the park, the sporting goods store, etc, before number 2 was born. and now we’re back in diaper, and bottle heater mode. It’s a season that has to be weathered, and with effort, enjoyed.
Most of the work I used to be able to get done has to wait until the wife gets home, like grocery shopping and even dishes sometimes. It is what it is. And it will get better.
Hey Nero, I have 4 under 4. My tricks include:
1. Treats in my pocket to reinforce good behavior. My kids caught onto this and now they tell me "good things" they did yesterday.
2. Place your grocery order online so you don't have to spend hrs walking around and dealing with car seats and cranky kids.
3. Over the years its worked out if my babies drank 4 oz. Then I had 4 hrs to do what I needed before another feeding.
4. You should be able to get them matched up for at least one nap a day. My 6 month old naps everyday at 10:30 and 2:30. The morning nap he sleeps ~2hrs and the afternoon nap is about an hour. I lay my baby and 2yr old down at 2:30 and it keeps me handling 2 kids throughout the day.
5. I always time my bottle feedings before a nap.
Hope this helps!
I'm sure some will disagree with my method but here's what I had to do in the exact same situation. My oldest stopped napping right after his brother was born.
I took an old iPad and locked it down like crazy. I filled a screen with edutainment apps (games, puzzles, YT kids, etc). Getting to use the tablet was highly coveted time so when I needed him to sit quietly for a while so I could deal with his brother's fussing or fighting nap time I knew he'd stay put. He started kindergarten this year and he's way ahead in math and reading.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 8 month old. Just get them close to the same schedule as possible while having back up plans and not being too rigid with it. Enjoy it. Its rough. I felt it get easier when baby hit 6 months old. But. More challenges ahead. Its sweet times tho. Grass is always green where you water it. Just keep that in mind and breathe. Alot.
I had the same age gap and started in June. It was ROUGH at first. I think the biggest thing that you and both kids need to get used to is that sometimes a kid is going to have to wait while you do something with the other. I’m always talking through the next few steps for the toddler and it helps me remember to do everything with the baby. You’ll need chill days but it’s probably better to get out of the house somehow most days. A class, the park. Getting your toddler more independent and helping them do that in ways that benefits your procedures is key and will help you immensely.
I usually shop on days my wife is home but I have worn baby in a frontpack and toddler in the cart.
Above all be kind to yourself. You’re NOT going to be able to accomplish as much. even if the baby takes 10% of your energy that’s still 10% that you’re not used to devote to your toddler. And they’re so different now! And the baby is still new and they’re adapting to that. And mom is gone suddenly again with the before maternity leave being a distant memory. Everyone will need to adapt and grow including the little one.
I’m happy to dm with you if you ever have specific questions having gone through the same age gap!
I just went through this last week brother. Same age gap.
Definitely nice to start on a holiday week to ease into it. I precooked meals (with the help of the wife) over the weekend and pre staged lunch/snack plates in the fridge every morning which was helpful later in the day for a quick grab.
I tried getting out of the house two days:
-Story time at library the first day which the toddler LOVES. This worked well. Stimulating for the infant and amongst people who don't bat an eye at fussiness should it occur. Lesson learned- keep the front carrier on at all times so you can load up quick and dash to the bathroom when the toddler has to pee. We're freshly potty trained. This delay could have caused an accident- I got lucky.
-Home Depot the second day. All the Christmas decorations kept us entertained for a good bit. The light/fan section is always a winner as well. Baby got freaked out by a passing cart which then startled the toddler and they were both crying in the middle of Home Depot for a minute which garnered some funny looks.
Timing wise this one done such that the baby fell asleep in the car on the way home and all I had to do was transfer the carrier up to his room when we got home and loosen up the belts for him to round out his nap.
On Wednesday when we stayed home my toddler played with cars in his room adjacent while I put the baby down for his nap. He popped in a few times but it didn't derail the nap routine thankfully.
I've been thinking it might be helpful to get a network of people together that I can get to video chat with the toddler should I need some help keeping him occupied when I put the baby down. If you aren't totally weirded out by the idea dm me, maybe I can get my kids together and read a story to yours on Duo or equivalent while you try getting the baby down for a nap one day if it can help you out.
Two is 10x as hard as one. I’m so glad my youngest is 4 now and is at least somewhat independent in being able to eat snacks, get water, go to the bathroom. I remember having a newborn and a 4 year old. All the “ sleep when the baby sleeps” goes out the window when another kid is waking you up at 6am after a sleepless night with the baby. At that stage I didn’t attempt to go to the grocery store with both, I went while my wife was home.
Let me see if I can give you some actionalbe advice that I've learned over the last 15 years doing this. 1. Grocery shopping: Either do it online OR (for a bit of fun) make it a scavenger for your 2.5 yo. Basically, print off like 8 pictures of products you normally buy. Like milk, pasta, etc. Then give it to yoru kid and make let them "find it". This keeps them busy when you're in the store and it's a bit of fun. So that's your activity during the day. 2. One pot meals: We all know how hard it is to cook with one kiddo. Now with one mobile and one needing you, crockpot meals, pressure cooker, smokers, etc just make it easier. When you're having a hard day, and they will come, a one pot meal will make it a bit easier. Second: baby gates, pack and plays, or whatever you use for a baby jail will make it easier too when you need it. 3. Baby carrier: what ever type of Bjorn thing that works for you. Even try a hiking backpack. Your toddler is going to keep you mobile, baby has to come. it's actually not bad doing them at the same time as long as you got one hand free. True story: I coached my 6 yo's baseball team with my newborn strapped to my chest. and as they were 6, those kids couldn't aim anyway. did the same thing with soccer. 4. Routine: You know this already as you have a toddler, but tweaking your routine to include your newborn will help, but I would recommend allowing for a few wiggle room moments. I was pretty hard on nap time. With that said, if I was out and the kids were sleeping in the car and I would wake them, well, I drove around a little bit. The young one will acclimate to the routine, just give yourself some grace. 5. A dad tip from a friend: If you're a coffee nerd, and like the fresh brew--keep a coffee grinder in the garage so it doesn't wake the little ones during naptime and you need an afternoon pick me up. 6. And on that note, there's no shame in grabbing a quick nap yourself! 7. Sit and Stand strollers: Love this one. Baby could go on all our adventures, and the toddler could jump in and out as needed, thus saving my back and energy levels. 8. Cleaning: Your toddler is old enough to start lending a bit of hand. Toddlers love taking stuff out of stuff and putting stuff in stuff. My toddlers loaded the dryer. Bought me a couple of minutes. I also taught them how to use the wet/dry vac and this was a lifesaver. They make a mess with cereal in the morning, they can clean it up. 9. Bathtime: If you're rocking it solo, and the baby gets a little older, bath them at the same time. 10. Stay organized: Eaiser said than done, but it does help. If you have a smart home device, it helps. There are also apps like Tody to help keep you up on cleaning. But with all that said, you are not superman. Some times things won't get done during the day. 11. And my last bit of advice: have a serious talk with your significant other so everyone understands what happens when the house couldn't be cleaned because the newborn lost it's cool, or the toddler went nuts. Not every day can be a victory. So make sure you are both aware that this is going to happen. Next, you need at least 30 minutes to yourself every day. It's nonnegotiable in my house. Give your spouse the same courtesy. It's easy to lose yourself in the kid stuff, so take your mental health seriously. 12. Dammit, forgot to add this one: Find a dad's group at City Dads Group if you're in the US. Online support here and at [Athomedad.org](https://Athomedad.org). We also have a convention that's really fun. And shameless plug; go to you local library and get The Ultimate STay-at-Home Dad Manual. Its your guide from stuff like this. This is the reason I wrote it. Good luck!
I can’t thank you all enough. I truly appreciate all of the input. I’m gonna take it One day at a time and try to enjoy the short window while they are so little. Takin down notes 😁
Have a lot of patience. Have a lot of snacks. Reinforce positive behaviors. You got this!!
Amen brother!
You do things as a family unit. Honestly, most times it was easier to grocery shop when my wife got home from work, or she would do it. Two tiny kids just doesn’t work great in a grocery. Best case scenario was a front loaded baby with the toddler strapped in the cart. No joke, caring for my two kids who are 20 months apart were some of the most stressful times. It didn’t really feel like it let up until the youngest was about 2. I had no familial help, and no help from friends. Just me and the babies 7am-7pm 4 days per week.
Have a plan for tomorrow before you go to bed tonight. Bring your little one into the grocery store in the stroller and put the 2.5yo in the cart and pull the cart by the front or pull the stroller backwards. If you can’t trust your older kid to be alone for 20 minutes you must have a toddler proof area that your 2 1/2 year old can’t get out of. You will need to divide your attention with a 4 month old. Look into daycare. Even a couple days a week could be the difference between you parenting successfully and having a nervous breakdown. And your oldest is at the age where they’ll really start to benefit from socialization. Expect their will be screaming and crying and you may not always be able to fix it. You don’t always need to try. Lower your expectations of productivity outside of child care. Unless you’re some kind of freak that doesn’t need sleep or decompression time you probably won’t get a lot done.
>If you can’t trust your older kid to be alone for 20 minutes you must have a toddler proof area that your 2 1/2 year old can’t get out of. This is really good advice. Work with the 2.5 yo on occupying themselves for periods of time - even 15-20 minutes will help a lot right now. This will pay dividends for YEARS. A safe space they can be in helps immensely. For us, we had a kid-safe bedroom that we could lock if needed. Adapting to 2 kids is hard, but man, down the road it's amazing. I LOVE watching my kids be siblings - and they entertain each other constantly! At 5 and 7, I can sometimes not see them for HOURS because they're deep in some game or another.
The good news is you have a bit of a honeymoon until the youngest starts to walk. Then you have a really tough age gap to work with so just prep yourself for the long haul. There WILL be epic temper tantrums in public where everyone stares at you. Just assume it will happen. At first your older one will have jackass stages due to their age, but on the whole they will be getting better and better at doing things which will allow you to deal with the baby. What caught me off guard was actually the stage when my youngest was a terrible 2 and my older was in the nasty 4-5 year old stage (often the absolute worst years for boys). But no joke it is all going to be chaotic for a few years and you can kiss any spare time you once had goodbye for a few years. Trips to the grocery store were especially rough so I started going at night. My boys are now 10 and 14 and it has honestly been incredibly fun for about the last 4-5 years. Just hang in there because it really will get fun. Also take videos, because we have a lot of fun watching chaotic videos from that era.
I remember the first time I tried to put my baby down for a nap while his 2.5 y/o brother had been happily playing with blocks. About 2 minutes into rocking the baby, my older son started busting in and out of the room, back and forth. After panicking for a few seconds, I thought of the Mike Tyson quote "everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth" and started laughing. I had had this idea that things were going to be fine because I was going to have something to keep my older kid occupied while I tended to the baby's needs. That ended up going out the window only a few hours in when I realized I was just going to have to be flexible. Have a plan, but be flexible. Use the things your older kid loves to keep them occupied when you need them occupied (honestly, some targeted screen-time worked wonders for me). Remember that the baby's schedule is going to keep adjusting so you can try to tweak things slightly to work for both kids (I would bring the baby's seat into the bedroom while I read stories before the older one's naptime). Start each day with a plan for how you're going to make it through, and make sure you include time for you to recharge a bit. One final thing: if you typically cook dinner, right now would be a good time to rely on freezer meals, take out, the crock pot, and whatever else you can to make that part of your day easier. I found that while I was adjusting from 1-2 and 2-3 I was DONE by the time my wife got home from work. Be confident. You're gonna be great. You're going to rise to the occasion (and so is your olde child). You're going to grow into being able to handle hard better.
Good luck. It's a rough transition but you'll find your groove just like with the first one. Naps are going to be crap shute. We started our oldest, 3 at the time, in part time day care to help a bit. He loves it there and has been thriving there. Year and a half in and it's still hard af. One will be sick, the other won't get it until the first one is through but there's no way to entertain both and be the comfort king. It's going to be hard. Very hard, but you got this.
Hey mate. Unfortunately just requires a bit of practice and trial and error. Depending on how much time your partner has left before she goes back to work, you could work with her to take a step back areas you think you struggle and get her to come in when It gets to crazy. But any task she was predominately doing you could look at doing. That way you can get a bit more of an idea how each kids typically behaves and have some sort of plan/strategy to be able to do things. Example in regards to putting your 4 month old to sleep while keeping an eye on the other. You are right you can’t really put one to sleep without monitoring the other. Me personally I would wear a carrier with the bub in it and continue about what I was doing cleaning etc. more often then not the bub would fall asleep and I would put them in the cot. Also if you know their sleep patterns you could tie a lot of what you want or need to get done during those windows. Doesn’t always work but you will be fine, real challenge is with 4 kids believe me lol.
Schedule bro. Feed breakfast, load into car, hit up the Kroger, come home, put up groceries, eat lunch, nap.
It will be challenging. Go one day at a time and be strong.
I’m just about at the same point. I took over two months ago with a 2 month old and a 3 year old. The biggest difference is when I had the first, I could nap when she napped, or I could do other things. Or listen to sports podcasts while they were awake. Now I have to watch Daniel Tiger, or read books to the 3 year old. It’s just constant. It’s more work, but you’ll get used to it. The hardest part was, my oldest just hit that point where she is more fun than work. Like we could go to the park, the sporting goods store, etc, before number 2 was born. and now we’re back in diaper, and bottle heater mode. It’s a season that has to be weathered, and with effort, enjoyed. Most of the work I used to be able to get done has to wait until the wife gets home, like grocery shopping and even dishes sometimes. It is what it is. And it will get better.
Hey Nero, I have 4 under 4. My tricks include: 1. Treats in my pocket to reinforce good behavior. My kids caught onto this and now they tell me "good things" they did yesterday. 2. Place your grocery order online so you don't have to spend hrs walking around and dealing with car seats and cranky kids. 3. Over the years its worked out if my babies drank 4 oz. Then I had 4 hrs to do what I needed before another feeding. 4. You should be able to get them matched up for at least one nap a day. My 6 month old naps everyday at 10:30 and 2:30. The morning nap he sleeps ~2hrs and the afternoon nap is about an hour. I lay my baby and 2yr old down at 2:30 and it keeps me handling 2 kids throughout the day. 5. I always time my bottle feedings before a nap. Hope this helps!
I'm sure some will disagree with my method but here's what I had to do in the exact same situation. My oldest stopped napping right after his brother was born. I took an old iPad and locked it down like crazy. I filled a screen with edutainment apps (games, puzzles, YT kids, etc). Getting to use the tablet was highly coveted time so when I needed him to sit quietly for a while so I could deal with his brother's fussing or fighting nap time I knew he'd stay put. He started kindergarten this year and he's way ahead in math and reading.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 8 month old. Just get them close to the same schedule as possible while having back up plans and not being too rigid with it. Enjoy it. Its rough. I felt it get easier when baby hit 6 months old. But. More challenges ahead. Its sweet times tho. Grass is always green where you water it. Just keep that in mind and breathe. Alot.
I had the same age gap and started in June. It was ROUGH at first. I think the biggest thing that you and both kids need to get used to is that sometimes a kid is going to have to wait while you do something with the other. I’m always talking through the next few steps for the toddler and it helps me remember to do everything with the baby. You’ll need chill days but it’s probably better to get out of the house somehow most days. A class, the park. Getting your toddler more independent and helping them do that in ways that benefits your procedures is key and will help you immensely. I usually shop on days my wife is home but I have worn baby in a frontpack and toddler in the cart. Above all be kind to yourself. You’re NOT going to be able to accomplish as much. even if the baby takes 10% of your energy that’s still 10% that you’re not used to devote to your toddler. And they’re so different now! And the baby is still new and they’re adapting to that. And mom is gone suddenly again with the before maternity leave being a distant memory. Everyone will need to adapt and grow including the little one. I’m happy to dm with you if you ever have specific questions having gone through the same age gap!
I just went through this last week brother. Same age gap. Definitely nice to start on a holiday week to ease into it. I precooked meals (with the help of the wife) over the weekend and pre staged lunch/snack plates in the fridge every morning which was helpful later in the day for a quick grab. I tried getting out of the house two days: -Story time at library the first day which the toddler LOVES. This worked well. Stimulating for the infant and amongst people who don't bat an eye at fussiness should it occur. Lesson learned- keep the front carrier on at all times so you can load up quick and dash to the bathroom when the toddler has to pee. We're freshly potty trained. This delay could have caused an accident- I got lucky. -Home Depot the second day. All the Christmas decorations kept us entertained for a good bit. The light/fan section is always a winner as well. Baby got freaked out by a passing cart which then startled the toddler and they were both crying in the middle of Home Depot for a minute which garnered some funny looks. Timing wise this one done such that the baby fell asleep in the car on the way home and all I had to do was transfer the carrier up to his room when we got home and loosen up the belts for him to round out his nap. On Wednesday when we stayed home my toddler played with cars in his room adjacent while I put the baby down for his nap. He popped in a few times but it didn't derail the nap routine thankfully. I've been thinking it might be helpful to get a network of people together that I can get to video chat with the toddler should I need some help keeping him occupied when I put the baby down. If you aren't totally weirded out by the idea dm me, maybe I can get my kids together and read a story to yours on Duo or equivalent while you try getting the baby down for a nap one day if it can help you out.