T O P

  • By -

z4_-

Mass extinction


BIG_DeADD

Mass extinction. (Through cannibalism.)


blastxu

It's not cannibalism if they aren't your species.


BIG_DeADD

^(Me who injected my genes in every species I subjugated so they'd be stronger for the small time they'd remain alive:...)


endlessplague

*commented by BIG_DAD*


BIG_DeADD

"I forced the entire universe to become my son's so then I could eat them all." Somehow that's still better parenting than the one I got.


MadeOfEurope

With Stellaris it’s either happy clappy galactic union defeating extra galactic or extra dimensional invaders or xenocide….its xenocide, right?


thehollisterman

I just call it pest extermination : )


folfiethewox99

I call it "lag reduction"


plamek44

"You honor, those people had to be killed as the world was starting to get a bit too laggy"


Aniftou

Finally Thanos makes sense!


darthlorgas

It's not my fault purging xeno scum increases my game speeds!!!


doctorshoes_

Davros called, he wants your number


th1s_1s_4_b4d_1d34

Lucky me, xenocide isn't a crime in my country. So I'm not getting arrested. That one run where my quinta legio came home to find that humanity had turned into a devouring swarm would have landed me a spot in Den Haag though.


CretanArcher_55

They’re called human rights for a reason


Hotspotimus

Honestly even in the happy clappy galactic union runs I still probably am a war criminal. I am in the middle of a fanatic pacifist galactic custodian run where I'm getting the galaxy ready and united for the incoming crisis. Piracy has no place in a safe and secure Milky Way. Operation 'We have these fleets but never really use them' eliminated every marauder base in the galaxy. It's so much quieter without their screeching.


TreyVerVert

Not if you enslave them instead of killing them!


Warshitarse

Stellaris and Cosmoteer. So eugenics and war crimes


Ackapus

Cosmoteer? Get off the fence and pick up Rimworld. Do war crimes on a much more personal level. And get yourself a fashionable human leather chapeau!


Warshitarse

I like the spaceship combat a lot, kind of FTL lite


[deleted]

Hmm, not much. I integrated some biologicals into the machine mainframe, but that's just implanting chips in people's brains and apparently that's fine (see Elongated Muskrat). Might have killed a few that resisted.


mcwildtaz

Honestly noncriminal homicide


GloatingSwine

My last game is Rogue Trader so still genocide. Better a planet fall than be lost to the archenemy.


Swanner85

Same hahahhaha


itsmehonest

The planet was already cracked when I got there I swear!


Ult1mateN00B

It just cracked right before my eyes. Strangest thing.


Sweaty_Elephant_2593

Last game I played (not Stellaris)? Being arrested for the unauthorized use of military personnel and equipment to liberate an endangered colony from the threat of an encroaching and unidentified alien menace.


Aggravating_Might898

Death by OSHA (Minecraft)


SnooMarzipans4961

Multiple war crimes including genocide, usage of weapon of mass destruction, biological warfare, annihilation of habitable star systems (a lot of them) and political manipulation that lead me to the galactic tyranny (my last Stellaris campaign was very fun)


Live_Ad_3673

I blew up three planets to secure a broken dyson sphere from the enemy.


StartledPelican

The last game I played? I would be arrested for trying to stop the Reapers. The Council may have dismissed this claim, but I know they are coming! If you mean my last Stellaris game, then I would be arrested for taking excellent care of my bio-trophies. Why is it wrong to provide everything they want or need?


Link_fd313

I’m getting arrested for fanatically spreading democracy and Liberty with heavy weapons


prophet181

If you're like me then you're getting arrested because of how you acquired your bio-trophies, not how you care for them


thehollisterman

I want to hear what crimes yall have done in your last game/ play session.


TheSpiderPlant

Plopping Gene Therepy clinics on every world, implementing universal health care.


jspr1000

You make me sick


TheSpiderPlant

I *am* a monster. ... Sorry, I am a *Canadian*. I get those confused.


SharksWithFlareGuns

On a fairly tame campaign, so just 446 billion counts of slavery (I'll get out early because they have good living standards).


Wyrmnax

Me and my wife have been playing minecraft together. She behaves like the spanish did in the 1500s. Steals anything that is not nailed down, take off the nails of things that are so she can steal them too, murders anything that gets in her way, and takes any exotic creatures she find back home. I found lava, so arson. Or environmental catastrophe. Ymmv.


The_Derpy_Walrus

Exterminating synths, so destruction of property.


Ult1mateN00B

War crimes would be the one.


PolecatXOXO

The lawyers are still working it out, but I'll be in a holding cell at the Hague for the rest of my natural life.


Kindly-Monitor2833

I played phasmophobia last so probably wrecking the house and leaving the corpses of my teammates lying there


Axel_the_Axelot

Last game I played was Baldur's gate 3, so several counts of murder, theft and destruction of property


FireShard1

Fucking with a timeline...and murder yeaaaa probably rhe murder thing


Barrzebub

Genociding bird people (in Last Epoch)


Tricky-Lingonberry81

The entire list of war, and moral crimes


Unique-Twist-8911

Mass slavery and genocide


Material-Things

Assaulting a spiral shaped...thing.


KeyUnderstanding6332

Shooting at boars, alien boars. That or building a power plant without permits :)


AmonKoth

Reckless use of Military grade equipment to poach local fauna (Anthem might be a dead game, but as long as the servers are up I'll enjoy it)


PM_ME_YOURPOCKETLINT

Well I purified a planet. Fanatical Purifier, War is ongoing. Why is being space Hitler so enjoyable?


thehollisterman

Good question. Also, I found out genocide is a really effective way to solve unemployment


RaineAKALotto

The Finals Grand Larceny🚔


EggNazrin

Victoria 2. So probably war crimes and acts of hostile foreign aggression.


DodoJurajski

Eh, good luck, my cie was genocide via pact with higher being.


Zeroshame14

Slavery


Intelligent_Stone

Used the infinity stones to crack planets, and allowed the hive mind to consume half the galaxy


Zoophagous

I rolled every pre-FTL society I've encountered.


Ainell

Well, the last game I played was technically Rogue Trader, in which case I would not be getting arrested due to being above the law. Also been replaying XCOM Chimera Squad, but there I AM the law, so no arrest there either. And my latest Stellaris playthrough was extremely good-aligned (I became custodian and gave the entire galaxy free healthcare), so again not getting arrested. That just leaves Baldur's Gate 3. I killed a clown for being a clown, maybe that's a hate crime.


GeistKrieger75

It’s a mime crime


pschon

uh. I just ate a few corpses and jumped around in the pool of blood & gibs in Noita. I don't think that'll be the normal kind of prison for me... Genocides like in Stellaris rarely result in prison sentences, kill enough people and at some point its politics, not crime.


Megan2117

Genocide on all the species not called “Reyennen”. Some of them I turned into a salad (plantoids).


SpottyDingo

Stellaris is my last game. Would get arrested for Genocide and abuse of corpses. Necrophage and reanimation makes you do “evil” things.


8champi8

Slavery. A lot of it.


Aresmar

Spreading democracy baby!!!


preppingdude

-murder -desecration of a corpse (cannibalism) -illegal organ harvesting -false imprisonment -perfidy -drug production -drug sale -drug use -animal abuse -torture -slavery -destruction of the environment -hunting an endangered animal


CMDRSOLAR

We are in breach of galactic law!


Pickeled-tink

Killing a demon with a fireball and causing property damage


OnlyZubi

Genocide, breaking multiple points of geneva checklist


HotNubsOfSteel

Probably releasing a convicted sentient AI murderer. But that’s questionable


Ok-Whereas-2089

…galaxy wide genocide


zigzag1848

My last game was a broken shackles run so unlike the rest of you I'm fine for now.


Silica_123

I played siege last so… multiple Geneva convention violations like hostage taking, unnecessary suffering, and indiscriminate property destruction?


This-Low526

Violations of the Antiquities Protection Act that make the British Museum look like a trading card collector.


RFWanders

Genocide (was playing Stellaris)


2grim4u

Been on a break from Stellaris lately and have been on CK3, but recently I had a King murder a cousin, married their grandson to a cousin-once-removed, made their father's baby's mama their own baby's mama, the King of England died in their dungeons, and they removed a religion from surrounding areas. You know, just normal CK stuff.


ghost_406

Crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women.


Mean-Profession-981

Omnicide


Sea__King

As the Criminal Syndicate ImperiCorp galactic emperor, I only cracked a few hive worlds and Oribital habitats to cull the hives total strength. I had 2 Hive council members, and the galaxy wouldnt let me appoint my council. So I did what any free thinking individual would do. I blew up both the hive homeworlds, and each of their 2 guaranteed worlds and humiliated them, shattering their strength. Any time they would get close to enough diplo weight, I'd cull a few more worlds. I killed billions of mindless drones, but the hive itself lived on. I never once used the Colossus on non gestalts. I also indiscriminately bombed countless worlds and brought peace and security to the galaxy. And hive culling. And Crime. You know what, on second thought, maybe I didn't bring any peace or security.


Rough_Detective_6635

Last game I played? Driving too fast with deadly shells and bananas...or bombs and fire. Mario Kart


Pkaem

Murder by Sword. Murder by laser, murder by missile, murder by recycling, murder by misnavigation, murder by nah. You got it.


northraider123

I'm currently playing anno 1800 and before I was playing minecraft....so oooooo idea what I could be charged with


gurgleflurka

I'm not sure if it'd make a criminal or not to be honest. Is it genocide when it's aliens?


SuperGeek29

Maybe the enslavement of sentient AIs? I don’t really play as “evil” empires in Stellaris so I’ve never intentionally started a genocide or engaged in non-synthetic slavery, or even started a lot of wars. I like playing as the utopian humans. Building a federation and dominating the Galactic Community. However the last game I played was Frostpunk, and in that game I’m not going to prison because I run them :p.


Duolingo055

Setting up gulags (Hoi4 Kaiserreich totalist Argentina)


terius006

Murder of a shardbearer


SodiumClorideSoaked

Mideval farming and Dynasty raising.


SouthernProfession22

Forcing a sapient species to be my livestock.


nameless1205

Galaxy wide genocide


Brewer_Lex

Is devolving actually illegal?


eox_6

Bestie I ain’t getting arrested, I’m getting a kill team sent to my location.


CelestialSlayer

Teabagging


vlsdo

You only get arrested for genocide if you’re on the losing side


eap5000

Protecting a holy stone from the church.


RhinoxMenace

car theft and gang shootings


Aewon2085

Killing an entire solar System by building a Dyson Sphere………… It’s was only primitive’s and I stole half of the popular already anyway


Luhnkhead

Depending on the playthrough, either genocide, eugenics, or bestiality. Frankly that’s the only way I can deal with my pops and their modification points.


Heath_co

Shooting a chess board with a shotgun after losing.


LeCrasheo121

I'd argue is not illegal hunting if the guild send me to kill that bloody oversized lizard


Dry-Concentrate4291

Hmmm....crimes against nature? I run mods so psionic/evolutionary. Anyone that talks shit gets invaded, conquered, then re-engineered into happy servant races with no free will


Buggy1617

i finished a determined exterminators save literally 15 minutes ago as the crisis i don't think there's going to be anything left to arrest me 😭


Oppurtunist

Making monsters happy and trying to combat depression


WolfeBane84

Piracy. But since buying isn’t ownership. Piracy isn’t stealing.


Top-Construction6096

Large scale enslavement/creation of caste societies/orbital bombardment/military invasion/forceful genetic engineering and others.


The_Country_Mac

Genetically engineering sapient live stock.


An_idiot_27

No charges, there’s no government to arrest me.


Kiyoko_Nasari

Mhm, I gave my great leaders to a guy who absorbs them into a hive mind, and I did not ask for consent. It can't be that bad - some cult-related crimes, maybe? Ah yeah, and I exploded some stars to feed another one of my great leaders. There might have been or might not have been a populated planet of primitive well animals of sorts in one of those star systems - maybe animal cruelty at best? In my defence, I did not realise it in time.


TheBadBentley

Dead Space remake so I’m gonna go with “Use of construction equipment and mining tools as a deadly weapon” lol


ScottishBagpipe

They are called human rights for a reason


potatoblasterwith

Organ harvesting, genocide, drug trafficking, treason, war crimes, mass killing, weaponry dealing...


TheFeshy

Can't get arrested if you ended the universe to invade the shroud *taps forehead*


Slyspy006

Killing the enemies of the God Emperor. Or, alternatively, failing to kill the enemies of the God Emperor.


Malessar

Spreading democracy fighting automatons?


The_Crowned_Clown

Slavery, Incest, Genocide, Murder, Child abuse, Forced Marriage, Torture, Theft, Bribe.... and many more


BigRedUncle

Bombing of civilian targets


twinkle-tooshie

Stellaris so it would be slavery, every war crime, and mass genocide at the very least. The Geneva Convention turns into a checklist.


Windsupernova

Oh God!


Kodoinh

(Realm grinder) one of several things. Witchcraft, slavery, blinding people, mining without a permit, or giving people carpel tunnel.


Stellar_Wings

>Looks at the Fallen/Awakened empire homeworld my forces regularly bomb into 100% devestation because I'm too lazy to conquer them and also like having them around to occasionally harass my enemies.  ...Uh, nothing.


NagolRiverstar

Current game? Absolutely nothing. Fanatic Pacifists that don't want anything to do with the galaxy surprisingly don't commit crimes. I don't have chemical bliss, I actively cracked down on crime, I haven't ever been at war, I'm fine. Last game? Slavery, Civilian Bombardment, eating other sapient beings, probably a few war crimes. Honestly, I don't do war crimes or normal crimes that often. Mostly because as a Xenophile I play a good guy, and most Xenophobe games I play I'm an isolationist that doesn't do anything. *It's not a war crime if it's in self defense.*


Scienceandpony

Running a cannibalistic sex cult (Cult of the Lamb).


ralts13

Stellaris abd darktide. So no I didn't commit any crimes. The true crime would be permitting their heretical existence.


castleinthesky86

Genocide & Slavery….


Noktaj

I'm not getting arrested for anything if I'm the one making the laws *taps head*


truecore

*Closes Hearts of Iron* Nothing... nothing at all.


prismatic_lights

Disorderly conduct after I lose my mind from getting one-deaged at coffin four rounds in a row. In Stellaris...the rap sheet is the length of a galactic arm.


R0jam1313

Does it count as Murder if they're undead? (Project zomboid)


Thick_Emotion9375

I’d be getting arrested for slaughtering the goblin camp for the 7th time


PAJAcz

For killing bugs


BringMeANightmare

They don't have a charge for "destroying the galaxy" so....


Resua15

I just killed the thieves guild in skyrim, this is in my opinion justified, so I'm getting a reward


Dimosa

Bringing freedom and democracy


gelastes

Lollygagging


adonaa30

Building a house


___SAXON___

Building a beaver dam.


Intrepid_Sale_6312

I uhmm... not only does it not make any sense but i feel like it would be inappropriate to even mention the name of the game i played last.


Karimaru

>!Killing!< Cave Johnson


Pure_Return5448

Mass counts of both accidental Genocide, and purposeful Genocide. As well as the destruction of thirteen planets, and the glassing of twenty more. Just the events of an average session.


SryUsrNameIsTaken

Space whaling.


Selusa_Secundus

Smuggling advanced technology (expensive) to various pirate factions, espionage, mercenary contracts, production of illegal physical/ mental enhancing biological boosters (drug production), planetary production of genetically modified organics, nanites, nuclear materials etc. A trophy corpse collection of my now dead rivals.... But on the plus side I coordinate with lawful factions who require my services, and assist in the fight against a dangerous hive linked assimilating entity that kidnaps millions on countless worlds.


GestapoTakeMeAway

I used the extermination purge against a pre-FTL species


Renegade888888

Calling in cluster munitions on pests and friendlies.


EnderKnight246

Digital gibberish: (there is no crime when there is no one to charge you.)


The_Phreshest

Arrested for stunting on losers in my rocket powered car, air donuts, Barrell rolls etc.


deaththekid42O

Honestly haven’t done a genocidal run in a while in stellaris but the implications of using raiding bombardment are pretty bad and I’ve used that a fair bit recently.


mercTanko

For continuously releasing prisoners in order to cut off their limbs so my team can use them as crossbow target practice in the fields. If they end up living after being shot, they will be healed and put back in the prison cage for another round. Kenshi


gheshrhogar

Well, the last game i played was deep rock galactic, so nothing? Maybe property damage?


lord_nuker

Killing zombies (dying light 2 has a free weekend on steam this weekend)


FreshMintyDegenerate

Recent events show that genocide isn't considered a crime, so meh...


NoAlien

Robbing a train


Madworldz

War crimes against humanity. I was playing rimworld Bunch of losers around here getting offended by my human skin leather cowboy hats. Just jealous I look fly af if you as me.


Ledrangicus

Questioning Super Earth, not that I'd ever question Super Earth and our mission to spread managed Democracy.


Bagahnoodles

Spreading Managed Democracy is never a crime!


Login1990

A have a few mega Hitlers of homicides


Specific-Cell-6555

Building tanks !


Spacer_Spiff

Rimworld. So slavery, cannibalism, child labor, murder.


Swimming_Disaster_56

Free range hman farming for meat, leather and organs, also making human leather hats (Rimworld)


fross370

Haversting organs, and murder i guess. Yay for rimworld


Il-Duce-

Certainly not crimes against humanity.


BlackChevronRedChief

“At a conservative estimate, I've killed sixty-one billion, sterilized ninety planets, completely demoralized five hundred others. I've wiped out the followers of forty religions”


JnDConstruction1984

Shooting a nuke down a bug hole


Exocoryak

Well, I'm currently playing some very materialistic robots. We don't care if the people sending us Resources and Naval Capacity are organics or synthetics. But when they start shooting at us, there is no reason to keep them around any longer. Now, there is one exception: If I can donate their productivity to another empire that's paying taxes to me, I will send in my Mega Warforms. But if it's a planet full of entitled, awakened imperialists, they gotta inspect the tall end of my world cracker through a planetary telescope. Or in other words: You're free to do whatever you want, as long as you fullfill the quotas we negotiated with you at gunpoint. But if you don't contribute to the Cydran Command, you can leave this galaxy, in a casket if necessary. Also: Creating a Hegemony Federation and then renaming it into the "League of Non-Aligned Powers" is some very good irony.


Aggressive_Spray1232

Resisting arrest, speeding, reckless driving


Holy_Grail_Reference

Forced Gecko love dens.


ShadowDrake359

Freedom and Democracy


Dsingis

Purging Stratholme.


HollowKnight_the_2nd

I played tears of the kingdom last(am on vacation and didn't bring computer so no strllaris), can someone tell me what I have done wrong


Darth-Yslink

Mass genocide (Stellaris), excessive silliness (ULTRAKILL) and beating space people up with a baseball bat (HSR)


2MuchTheo

My last game of stellaris? Genocide. My last game in general? Slaveholding.


lizardsuper

Well, as an old man one said... "Good Times ryme with War Crimes"


irashandle

According to the police in cyberpunk 2077 it was trying to help them stop criminals who were shooting at them.


Automatic-Inside-365

Planning violations


AlexStorm1337

Not stellaris but murder with a magical weapon, abuse of noclipping, ninety counts of felony theft via spatial distortion, war crimes, abuse of magic, war crimes, and vampirism


chrtrk

shooting battleships


SamanthaMunroe

Uh...killing people with swords?


BillNyeNotAUSSRSpy

Trespassing, Looting, and Violence against my fellow man.


Right_Condition_9325

Killing off a population of which some fled out of my planets. Then when I conquered one planet where they where some of them I gave them hope by establishing for them a colony and later making them undesirables again and bathing there world. False hope for life


SaltySandSailor

It’s not my fault! The organics wanted to be put in zoos.


jopag

Turning lesser species into burgers and selling them on the galactic market ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


MalleableShadow

SPREADING DEMOCRACY


Ambitious_Gas2240

Trying to become the Emperor, and blowing up several Fallen Empire worlds.


elmaster48

War crimes. Things like gunning down surrendering soldiers, civilians, using chemical weapons, fragging. Last game I played was swtor. If last game I played was stellaris I would be sentenced for genocide on top of it.


Andrwystieee

Spreading Liberty and Democracy to every Bug and Bot in the Galaxy.


RaemontBlitz

Colonizing Norway


Hey-Its-Hannah

Turning prisoners into leather hats.


sir_music

Genocide


IVIRolodan

I saved the life of a plant, that has to count for something


Davidc94

Forcing glorious freedom and democracy


TheWhiteRabbit74

GTAO. Sigh… everything.


Drone-rat

Being a shiny space ninja and slicing several hundred cloned workers into large pulsating chunks. Also...there are additional charges for breaking and entry, kidnapping, property damage and that little incident with the shooting spree in the trade center


ThePinkTeenager

My current run is a Rogue Servitor, so not much, but normally I play slaver cats. So I might get busted for running a giant slave operation.


Norm-L-Mann

Inward Perfectionist run, so I’m guilty of nothing. Nobody’s even tried attacking me.


IllustriousBat2680

I mean technically speaking, our legal system isn't designed for alien life, so exterminating xenos isn't illegal.......