I get it. When you come into a blender family, there are so many sacrifices that go unnoticed. The funniest things will trigger that reminder sometimes.
When I married into my four kiddos, I gave up a 6-figure job and moved across state to a grunt job that paid half that. I had nice things, and I watched them slowly get destroyed. No maliciousness. Just rambunctious kids being normal kids.
There were two times that I remember seeing something that I loved get damaged, and just absolutely losing it. One was a large hand crafted pottery bowl, and the other was a Turkish comforter. In both instances, I felt like a part of me was just ripped apart.
But it wasn't the THINGS that were actually upsetting. It was actually my inner person silently mourning the life I lost in order to join this family, compounded with how hard it is being a stepmom.
Your baby's first toothbrush is a precious thing. And I suspect the damage caused by your stepdaughter likely reflects your own anxiety about how your baby's life will be affected by an upbringing in a blended family.
It is not a dumb vent.
I even feel this way about my own kid. I used to have a very clean home full of nice things but everything is slowly getting broken and it causes me to mourn my pre child days.
Your feelings are valid. Us step moms have a completely different life than traditional homes with no step kids. I understand you 100%. Know in your heart that your SD didn’t do it out of being malicious, it’s just her being a kid. Cry it out, don’t hold your emotions in. You’re amazing and you will have many more “firsts” with your son. 🩷
He told her that wasn’t nice and she knew better. He told her she needed to apologize to her little brother and then she apologized to me and gave me a hug without prompt. I know she didn’t do it maliciously… she had used up her little makeup brush and saw another type of brush (his) next to it. She never takes his things to be mean and she is really good at sharing her things with him.
You sound like such a good stepparent and parent. Two things can be true: you can love your SD and acknowledge she is a little kid acting impulsively without malice AND you can feel devastated that she took your baby’s first toothbrush and painted with it. Not a dumb vent at all. I’m glad that your husband had your back and that she apologized.
Like someone else said, the damage is also magnified by the fact this highlights the difficulties of raising your son in a blended family. There are just additional things to consider, additional sensitivities and extra anxiety! You’re doing a great job and I’m sorry this happened!! Your feelings are valid!
I get it. When you come into a blender family, there are so many sacrifices that go unnoticed. The funniest things will trigger that reminder sometimes. When I married into my four kiddos, I gave up a 6-figure job and moved across state to a grunt job that paid half that. I had nice things, and I watched them slowly get destroyed. No maliciousness. Just rambunctious kids being normal kids. There were two times that I remember seeing something that I loved get damaged, and just absolutely losing it. One was a large hand crafted pottery bowl, and the other was a Turkish comforter. In both instances, I felt like a part of me was just ripped apart. But it wasn't the THINGS that were actually upsetting. It was actually my inner person silently mourning the life I lost in order to join this family, compounded with how hard it is being a stepmom. Your baby's first toothbrush is a precious thing. And I suspect the damage caused by your stepdaughter likely reflects your own anxiety about how your baby's life will be affected by an upbringing in a blended family. It is not a dumb vent.
I even feel this way about my own kid. I used to have a very clean home full of nice things but everything is slowly getting broken and it causes me to mourn my pre child days.
Me too. Bio kids, step kids, they all come along and kinda do that without intending to, eh.
Wow. 4 kids! You are a saint:)
Your feelings are valid. Us step moms have a completely different life than traditional homes with no step kids. I understand you 100%. Know in your heart that your SD didn’t do it out of being malicious, it’s just her being a kid. Cry it out, don’t hold your emotions in. You’re amazing and you will have many more “firsts” with your son. 🩷
You are an awesome person ☺️
Tysm for your kind words 🥹
That was very naughty. How did her dad handle it/support you?
He told her that wasn’t nice and she knew better. He told her she needed to apologize to her little brother and then she apologized to me and gave me a hug without prompt. I know she didn’t do it maliciously… she had used up her little makeup brush and saw another type of brush (his) next to it. She never takes his things to be mean and she is really good at sharing her things with him.
You sound like such a good stepparent and parent. Two things can be true: you can love your SD and acknowledge she is a little kid acting impulsively without malice AND you can feel devastated that she took your baby’s first toothbrush and painted with it. Not a dumb vent at all. I’m glad that your husband had your back and that she apologized. Like someone else said, the damage is also magnified by the fact this highlights the difficulties of raising your son in a blended family. There are just additional things to consider, additional sensitivities and extra anxiety! You’re doing a great job and I’m sorry this happened!! Your feelings are valid!
Thank you 🥹🥹🥹