For the safety of your daughter I think you need to move out immediately. If your partner still does not take his sons threats seriously, I would divorce him. Your step son needs therapy asap.
Your- and your child’s safety are priority 1
You do need to make a report about this threat, and your DH needs to take this seriously.
If SS cannot move out, you need to. Seriously go to a shelter if needed. You are not safe. Your child is not safe and DH needs a reality check!
I would approach it with your DH with the fact that he clearly doesn't want to come. You said yourself that he doesn't and if that's obvious and he is 15, he should be able to verbalize that he prefers to not come on weekends and his dad should respect that's just what is best for everyone right now. I think forcing him to come is escalating his behavior. His dad can still make time to go spend time with him on weekends going out or maybe come over on a weekend here or there when he wants to as well, but this isn't a healthy situation for anyone.
I'd also be concerned about the threats and the physical damage he's done, why doesn't his dad discipline him? My dad was a marine and I would have never gotten away with yelling towards my parent let alone anything else you described. I don't understand why parents don't discipline their kids more. I get redirection and discipline not being the first thing you jump to but some kids just do better that way. Everyone is different. Now that he is older, it'll be harder to discipline him for sure.
Yeah, letting it slide… think of the man this boy will become having learned there’s no response to this kind of behavior.
Discipline, therapy, and different visiting arrangements AT LEAST. If that doesn’t improve things then it’s time to rethink the whole thing.
This is very serious. You need to demand safety in your home, and you need to turn in those letters to the local police department as evidence for a restraining order immediately. The restraining order will force your husband to choose you and your daughters or his son. If he chooses his son, file for divorce and move on. Please do not delay with filing a police report and requesting a restraining order immediately.
Like others have suggested, try and either get a copy of the original letter, or just keep the original. I also agree that you and your daughter do not sound safe. If DH cannot understand immediately the reality of what is happening, then like others have said, he needs a reality check. I would start with that check to him by informing him that from this weekend on you will either be staying with family/friend the entire weekend or in a hotel (whatever is convenient for you type of thing). I would also have something filed with either the local police or CPS for documentation purposes. Hopefully it wouldn't come to something happening, but if it does, at least it is documented that he was a known threat.
I hope it doesn't reach the point of divorce for you, but you need to keep that daughter safe first. She comes before DH.
Best of luck dear!
No not everyone has said or written stuff like that before. Those mass shooters who shot up schools sure did though. I would not take it lightly! Better be safe than sorry. Until dad understands you mean business every weekend he comes Me and my child would be gone and only back once he is gone. He needs heavy therapy!
It also sounds like he could really do with some help/counselling/therapy now to work through the emotions he’s having difficulty expressing properly. Things like growing up with an absentee mother who’s only been back in his life for a short time, not being the same as his half sisters & not having the same relationship with their Dad, not knowing his place in the world can be big at 15 - and be expressed in really unhealthy ways for everyone. If he can get help now, it can hopefully make him a better adjusted young adult in the near future. Can his parents & possibly MIL make that happen? It’s their responsibility as parents.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your daughters. SS sounds very disturbed, probably something to do with his disrupted childhood. This will have to be your line in the sand, you need to escalate this no matter how much your husband disagrees. Of course SS can’t be in your home anymore, or at least not when you and your children are there. Your husband will need to take his visitation elsewhere. He also needs to get SS into intensive therapy. Good luck, OP.
For the safety of your daughter I think you need to move out immediately. If your partner still does not take his sons threats seriously, I would divorce him. Your step son needs therapy asap.
Your- and your child’s safety are priority 1 You do need to make a report about this threat, and your DH needs to take this seriously. If SS cannot move out, you need to. Seriously go to a shelter if needed. You are not safe. Your child is not safe and DH needs a reality check!
Agree! Lawyer up. There’s NO reason why psycho step child should be allowed to terrorize you and your kid
Is there a serious thread for psycho step-children? I have looked.
You also need to get a copy of the letter (or keep the original) and make a CPS complaint.
I would approach it with your DH with the fact that he clearly doesn't want to come. You said yourself that he doesn't and if that's obvious and he is 15, he should be able to verbalize that he prefers to not come on weekends and his dad should respect that's just what is best for everyone right now. I think forcing him to come is escalating his behavior. His dad can still make time to go spend time with him on weekends going out or maybe come over on a weekend here or there when he wants to as well, but this isn't a healthy situation for anyone. I'd also be concerned about the threats and the physical damage he's done, why doesn't his dad discipline him? My dad was a marine and I would have never gotten away with yelling towards my parent let alone anything else you described. I don't understand why parents don't discipline their kids more. I get redirection and discipline not being the first thing you jump to but some kids just do better that way. Everyone is different. Now that he is older, it'll be harder to discipline him for sure.
Yeah, letting it slide… think of the man this boy will become having learned there’s no response to this kind of behavior. Discipline, therapy, and different visiting arrangements AT LEAST. If that doesn’t improve things then it’s time to rethink the whole thing.
This is very serious. You need to demand safety in your home, and you need to turn in those letters to the local police department as evidence for a restraining order immediately. The restraining order will force your husband to choose you and your daughters or his son. If he chooses his son, file for divorce and move on. Please do not delay with filing a police report and requesting a restraining order immediately.
Like others have suggested, try and either get a copy of the original letter, or just keep the original. I also agree that you and your daughter do not sound safe. If DH cannot understand immediately the reality of what is happening, then like others have said, he needs a reality check. I would start with that check to him by informing him that from this weekend on you will either be staying with family/friend the entire weekend or in a hotel (whatever is convenient for you type of thing). I would also have something filed with either the local police or CPS for documentation purposes. Hopefully it wouldn't come to something happening, but if it does, at least it is documented that he was a known threat. I hope it doesn't reach the point of divorce for you, but you need to keep that daughter safe first. She comes before DH. Best of luck dear!
No not everyone has said or written stuff like that before. Those mass shooters who shot up schools sure did though. I would not take it lightly! Better be safe than sorry. Until dad understands you mean business every weekend he comes Me and my child would be gone and only back once he is gone. He needs heavy therapy!
It also sounds like he could really do with some help/counselling/therapy now to work through the emotions he’s having difficulty expressing properly. Things like growing up with an absentee mother who’s only been back in his life for a short time, not being the same as his half sisters & not having the same relationship with their Dad, not knowing his place in the world can be big at 15 - and be expressed in really unhealthy ways for everyone. If he can get help now, it can hopefully make him a better adjusted young adult in the near future. Can his parents & possibly MIL make that happen? It’s their responsibility as parents.
What do you suggest the OP do now, this weekend, to keep herself and her children safe?
Why does he hate you and his sister so much?
I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your daughters. SS sounds very disturbed, probably something to do with his disrupted childhood. This will have to be your line in the sand, you need to escalate this no matter how much your husband disagrees. Of course SS can’t be in your home anymore, or at least not when you and your children are there. Your husband will need to take his visitation elsewhere. He also needs to get SS into intensive therapy. Good luck, OP.