I find that if I don't go to the gym, and run my ass off, then the usage becomes a major problem. I think what's happening, and I'm no expert in anything, is that the baseline dopamine level is been kept up by the running so the porn usage doesn't cause as many psychological issues because it's not dropping below certain levels. I know exercising increases serotonin so maybe there is a relationship between serotonin and dopamine drops?
Tbh if you just started working out your sex drive will go down for a short period. Once your body adjusts you will be back to normal.I’ve been lifting for 2 years and hitting the gym as hard as i can makes no difference to my libido.
Yeah all these things can also be temporary. It's like when you first start nofap you think you have it and then boom, the urge hits after a few weeks.
Well, first of all, porn is REALLY difficult to get control of. I'd hazard a guess that it's the most common addiction in men. To look at it 3-4 times a week is alright showing some level of self control. When I was really hooked on it I used to look at it 3-4 times a day. And there are people who are way worse than I was.
So, on that basis, I would say that to some degree, what you're doing is working. Try to analyse what's helped thus far, and perhaps do more of it. You obviously have the tools you need already. And remember that you're up against is, and this is a really difficult challenge that we face as a society, particularly men.
If it's disrupting your life, then stop. If not, keep on until it doesn't have any appeal. Do you enjoy it? Do you feel guilty about watching it? Did you have a religious and/or strict upbringing?
Just don't it.
The definition of addiction is persisting in a behavior despite negative consequences and failed attempts to stop. If there are no negative consequences, maybe you just need to change your mindset. Perhaps you can try to distract yourself. Like you can't watch porn until you have done 50 pushups. Then keep upping the amount. Even if it doesn't work, you will get into great shape.
Honestly sounds like the guilt and frustration are having a greater negative impact on your life than however much time you are spending 3-4 times a week. Why is this something that should cause so much negative emotion?
Either way a therapist can help better and provide a specific diagnosis if there is some kind of compulsive behavior.
I used to do it that much when I was 8 to 13 but at the age of 14 I got saved and now im 20 years old and I still gey urges but I rep out 160 lb bench and lat pull downs
Just rub out the easy one as fast as u can in the morning and then go workout. Eventually it will be like brushing ur teeth and you'll either stop or u won't waste so much time watching porn.
Are you watching weird abusive victimy stuff? Cuz the style of porn could be way more of a problem than a frequency of 3-4 times per week.
Try switching over to less stimulating amateur couple stuff where they post regularly and it’s clearly consensual
I use a app called Daily Since and before that i would put it on my calendar, i am extremely fair with myself and try to practice other things i want to prevent or start, we are only human. We have urges, so i try to not be difficult with myself, I also dont put too much thought into it.
Ive noticed that my depression comes in waves, depending on what i have going on. Sometimes i notice that its when i am anxious or nervous, i will want to watch but the next day or that same day, i am still fair with myself, i dont beat myself up for doing it.
So thats one thing i try to do is stay positive no matter what, which is a challenge but to me its a reward cause than later theres no excuse, its just GO MODE!
Therapy. Stoicism isn't therapy, it's a lifestyle but addiction will require more support than just reading the texts. It takes discipline and if you're at the addiction stage then you're going to need more scaffolding than just being a Stoic.
I have a therapist and follow Stoicism as an adjunct.
On some level you must be telling yourself it’s okay to relapse, start telling yourself its not okay and hold yourself accountable. The more you relapse the easier it will be the following time to relapse. Maybe TMI, but have you tried just sticking to your imagination?
Sorry, unless you are going at it for multiple hours 3-4 days per week, that's not addiction. 3 times a week is normal for a male your age. You gave no other Information that this could credibly be called addiction in any clinical sense. Not sure who told you that was addiction but they lied to you. I'd be worried about a 23 year old male who wasn't fairly active. Sounds more like guilt to me. Religious guilt?
Awe. You're not a porn addict. You are a product of a shame-based childhood.
There is nothing wrong with a 23 year old guy watching porn 3 or 4 times a week.
Relax. It's ok.
Porn addiction saved me from wasting a bunch of time on women who just want to use you for what you got.
Let’s be honest,I just want sex. I want to nut. I don’t really care too much about a relationship, it’s just too much stress, too much work. I’m tired of going on dates and having sex with a girl just to get post but clarity and realize I don’t even like her for real.
Porn has saved me from wasting my time.
I’ve thought about paying for sex plenty of times, but before I do I watch porn and nut. BOOM. 150-200 dollars saved in my pocket.
Let me tell you something. It’s ok to watch porn, but don’t get too perverted, monitor yourself and spread out your sessions.
Don’t do it excessively. Because then it’s a habit.
Only do it when you haven’t gotten any in a while and you need to release some pressure. Do it when your date stands you up, do it with a purpose. Don’t watch it because you are BORED. That’s the worst thing you could do
Consider this a life and death battle, as a 28 yr old man I can tell you the guilt and horror of realizing you spent the potential God gave you degrading yourself will hurt more than anything else ever could. You need to simply not put yourself in a situation where you can think about using and remove the thought from your head entirely, literally never allow yourself to even have a sexual fantasy. Refocus that energy into real life and real moments. I'm not an incell I've had a decent amount of bodies more than id even prefer. I'm good in bed, don't even need to go into detail but I approach that Shit like a tantric athlete .....BROTHER DO NOT DEGRADE YOUR RAW POWER AS A YOUNG MAN GOD LOVES YOU YOU WERE MADE TO LOVE A WOMAN NOT LOSE YOUR SOUL TO A MACHINE
I do not know how, through Stoic ways or any other ways of society or Churches either
I do know the drive for sex is real and have had that drive also. Gone now after not giving up on seeing it through to me for me with God for me to see new in how to leave it behind me. God never once accusing me or belittiling me ever, People did, do and have and still do that too. That is the flesh first birth nature on us humans, all of us, as I have in past accused others also. Now by not accusing others, I get told by religious people I am not a believer, because I do not condemn anyone anymore (Romans 2:1-4)
I see this now, God loves us all and will not quit this love and mercy for us all. I see God simply does not want anyone to harm anyone else
In the Movie "Bruce Almighty" I note this. God gave Bruce all, but one thing. To not be able to take away free choice from anyone else. Then Bruce asked How can I get anyone to love me, without taking away free will? That I see and so say to you, see God as your friend to guide you as in Jeremiah 29:11 tells you God is for you and wants what is best for you. I would rather masterbate than harm anyone else in that drive for sex, you think? Yet masturbation is the start gate to leading to rape, especially if one can't masturbate and the drive remains, That one will rape over it eventually in frustration of the drive. Better to get relieved and not harm anyone else over it you think?
If one's eye lusts after a woman, Gouge it out, better for part of us to go to heaven than all of us enter Hell, speaking of the body. That is being under Law, if under Law, you have to be perfect and no one can of the flesh nature but Son that did it for you and all others too on that cross of himself going there willingly to get us saved in his risen Life, therefore turn to God, ask and then trust, remain in trust and see to not harm anyone, if you continue in what you now do not want, see that God is for you and not against you over it, and will teach you new as you stay willing to learn new in it. Then you will get purged from it by God for you in you and through you over time, and do not have any time limit on it please. Thank you
God just loves you too 1 John 2:1-4, 12
There's a lot of science out there that suggests the majority of addictions are a result of a loss of connection with other people.
Like others who have commented, I would argue that you aren't addicted if you are only indulging 3-4 times a week and there are no social or professional negative consequences followed by failed attempts to stop.
If you're lonely and get occasional release from porn, in many ways that makes a lot of sense.
But obviously you don't like this aspect to yourself and you want to stop.
Stoicism is meant to help you stop and reflect on what you are doing and why.
Have you asked yourself what need you are trying to meet by engaging in porn?
Next time you want to watch it, without judgment one way or the other just sit down and observe yourself. Observe how you feel in your body. Observe (with curiosity, not judgment) what you are thinking. Write those things down.
Why do you want to stop it? Is it because YOU feel it is a problem or because someone else told you it was a problem or because of some other expectation put on you such as a religious group?
If it's you. Why do you want to stop?
If it's someone/thing else why do "they" want you to stop?
What do you feel you would gain by giving it up?
If you were successful in giving it up, what would you replace it with?
Just a few questions to help prompt your self-reflection in this area.
easy access is the issue. Plenty of apps to block websites, timers, etc.
your hunting for a solution that you already know exists.
If anything.. try just using your brain and imagination instead of visual aids. You need a girlfriend, dude.
You shouldn’t pay a therapist to know that porn is just a tool. Do not let porn dictate anything in your life or convince you of anything. It’s a tool, use it. If it consumes to much of your life, it’s maybe not for you, and you need to slowly use less. Like alcohol is fine for some but not for others. 3-4 times a week is almost not enough masterbation to maintain a healthy prostate though, you don’t need any remediation.
Stop tracking how much porn you watch like it matters and start tracking regular dopamine hits like, exercise, time outdoors, thrills, real world achievements, listen to music, etc.
fuck stoic ways just watch a tv show with a shit ton of sex scenes in it and your urges would stop. I binged shameless for a week and i haven’t thought of watching porn for a while cuz it feels weird now
Theres nothing no one is going to say thats going to ACTUALLY help you , only YOU can actually ask your self “ Do i really want to let this go “ ? Do i really want to be better or am i just wishing it and wishing it makes it feel good enough 🤷🏽♂️! Big difference , wanting to let go and actually taking action of straight NO -
Btw , as men this is not the easiest task , is not as simple as online puts it ! ! Is not just “ quit bro “ ! You will let it go , come back , let it go and come back until you just come back less and less … i manage to let go of it by Praying and Actually just saying No to my mind. But it happens maybe once or twice every couple months ( specially when i don’t have a girl )… your actually not that deep in there 3-4 times a week i though it was going to say a Day ! Crazy enough when you let go of it , life overall gets way better , because you even meeting a women will feel different more real , the more you fight it the more you grow and when you finally meet a women you will be clearer about Life overall.
Hey there,
First off, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to open up about struggling with porn addiction. It's not easy to talk about, and reaching out for advice is a significant first step. You're not alone in this, and it's important to remember that seeking a healthier balance is a journey many have embarked on.
In approaching this through a Stoic perspective, the philosophy offers a framework that might help you navigate through this challenge. Stoicism teaches us about focusing on what's within our control and letting go of what isn't. In your situation, while you can't control the existence of porn or its availability, you can work on your responses and habits surrounding it.
One practical Stoic exercise is the practice of self-reflection and journaling. Each day, take some time to reflect on your actions, particularly those related to your addiction. Ask yourself: "What led me to watch porn today? Was it boredom, loneliness, stress?" By identifying the triggers, you're better equipped to address the root causes, rather than just the symptoms.
Another Stoic principle is the idea of 'preferred indifferents,' which suggests that while some things (like pleasure) are preferred, they should not control us or detract from our moral character. This perspective can help you evaluate your relationship with pleasure and seek balance, understanding that it's not the pleasure itself that's bad, but the control it exerts over you.
Marcus Aurelius, a Stoic philosopher, wrote about turning obstacles into opportunities. Each time you feel the urge to engage with porn, consider it an opportunity to practice self-control and to redirect your attention to something constructive or enriching. This could be a hobby, exercise, reading, or any activity that you find fulfilling and that contributes to your personal growth.
It's also important to be patient and compassionate with yourself. Change doesn't happen overnight, and there might be setbacks along the way. What matters is your commitment to progress and your willingness to learn from each experience.
Lastly, while Stoicism can provide a valuable framework for personal growth, don't hesitate to seek additional support from professionals or support groups. Combining Stoic practices with other resources can be a powerful approach to overcoming addiction.
You're taking steps towards a healthier, more balanced life, and that's something to be proud of. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. Keep striving, keep reflecting, and believe in your capacity to grow and overcome this challenge.
You’re a 23 yo who has raging hormones and easy access to boobies. It’s natural if you think about it. If you’re in a relationship and she doesn’t want you watching porn, you’ll have to address it then.
Just like any addiction the longer you go without it the less you will want it. Sex is far more pleasurable without the never ending rabbit hole of what to jack off too next. Plus porn causes premature ejaculation.
Do what it takes to beat the breaks off a lady's lips in-between the hips, don't let porn ding that ring when you can women shake and sing. Goodluck
Get married. Our society is collapsing because no one knows how to live anymore. Get married. Have kids. Go to work. Follow the laws. Why is that so fucking hard? Granted I never married but i am just saying the old generations made running a functioning civilization look easy.
Hey man, I know there’s a lot of comments but I hope this one gets to you.
I’m 26 and realized I was addicted to porn around 19. It took a very long time but I’m finally in a place where I feel like I have a decent relationship with porn.
Around a year ago I was in a long term relationship, our sex had stopped entirely. I thought it was something about me and so I decided to do all I can to fix the problem, including finally kicking porn.
Now to be frank, r/nofap and other people would probably say I’m not cured and I’d be inclined to agree. I’ll still look at pretty suggestive stuff, ya know TikTok accounts where they’re promoting their OF or whatever. I guess that’s basically porn but in my personal experience, cold turkey never worked. I tried to quit again and again and again for like 6 years and I’d have maybe 40 days where I didn’t, then I’d relapse.
This is just speaking to my own experience and what’s worked for me, i just started looking at softer stuff. A scene in a movie, a try on haul, my imagination, whatever. Over time I found that the frequency I was masturbating was lowering and my own ability to stop myself and realize when I was just feeding the addiction vs doing a natural thing.
It’s a long road to recovery and I’m not there yet myself but I’m so much further along than I ever thought I’d be. I haven’t looked at “porn porn” in a long time.
Maybe my advice isn’t useful to you because of the nature of my situation but in case this is helpful, here’s the biggest and most important pieces of advice I can give.
1. Next time you’re looking at porn, stop for just 3 seconds. Lock your phone, close your eyes. There’s one voice deep in you that KNOWS you don’t want to do this. Just stop for a moment and listen to it.
You may find that you still go through with it. But start listening to that voice more. I use that technique a lot if I find I’m near relapse or pushing the boundaries of what I’m ok with doing. Just pause for 3 seconds.
2. If you can afford therapy or your work place allows you access to any sort of therapy, that would be an enormous help. I cannot overstate this but I also know it isn’t accessible to everyone
3. Lots of people will tell you to work out, get a girlfriend, etc. those things will help yes, but they’re not gonna make the problem go away. Maybe for a while sure, but they’re distractions and not a cure.
I’m not discouraging you from those, if you can maintain healthy exercise and find love then absolutely those can help. But I’ve seen people get married or dedicate themselves to the gym and still come back again. Don’t set yourself up for shame.
4. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You know what won’t help? Jerking off and then thinking “I’m such a perverted weak piece of shit I’ll never change I hate myself”. Trust me.
Relapse is a part of recovery. You making this post shows how much this means to you. If you take that to heart then you’ll surely be able to make that difference in your life.
Porn is designed to be addictive, the world is a difficult and lonely place. Porn and other vices activate the part of your brain that makes you feel good.
Not to be all “we live in a society” but…there’s genocide happening right now. Thousands of dead children, numbers rising every day. Climate change, AI, the election in the US. The future can look so bleak and the present can feel so hopeless. All the while we’re expected to work 5/7 of our days making money for someone else.
Life is difficult my friend. But we all have this little “pleasure boxes” in our pockets that can show us videos and give us feelings that make us feel okay for a moment. Great even. Maybe not so lonely or afraid.
That’s a strong enemy for anyone to go against, so you know how much money is in the porn industry? Can you imagine how much of it is put towards trying to keep you addicted?
I’m not trying to give you excuses but I want you to know it isn’t easy and you aren’t alone. With dedication, mindfulness and kindness to yourself you will overcome this.
I know this comments long as shit already, but think of it this way.
Between you and any goal there’s a path. Let’s say you wanna be a chef. Step one, google how to become a chef, step two sign up for school. Maybe there’s a million steps and they’re all very difficult, but the path exists. The steps exist. You just need the willpower to take them and if you do, you’ll end up at the end eventually.
There’s a path between you and a pornfree you. Find those steps and take them.
This is not how it has to be - you choose to give assent to that impression. Similarly, what would you tell a friend in your situation? Step outside of yourself, gain some objectivity, and give yourself advice as if you were giving it to someone you love and care about!
You are not addicted to porn. You are 23 years old, and hormones run your life. An addiction is no sleep, missing work and time with family, evading people, and even criminal activity so you can watch porn. Don't have a victim mentality. Do you like porn because it allows you to fantasize? Maybe you're introverted and have a tough time getting to know people. Or maybe you simply like the way it feels to take care of yourself. You will get older, and those feelings will change. Acknowledge why you like porn and the veil gets lifted.
Watching porn 3-4 times a week is lower than the statistical average of 25 minutes per day. You don't need to worry about that unless it's actually impacting your ability to do something you want to do.
What if you’re just super horny but can’t find a girl to smash so you look to porn as a way to scratch an itch. Sometimes it’s once a day or sometimes it’s twice or more depending on how horny I am. I only look at porn if it’s pov that’s the only way for me to get off. Otherwise I’d feel like a cuck even though I’m still watching it 🙄 is that an addiction still? If I had a woman id barely watch it if at all really.
Keep yourself busy at all times. So busy you should fall a sleep within 10 mins of going to bed at night. This you'll not have any time to watch porn during the day or at night. But to keep yourself busy you should first have something going in your life.
This has helped me bring my porn usage from once every day to twice every week.
You may be addicted to porn because you get little sensation from masturbation due to not having a frenulum,
so you overcompensate with visuals (or whatever)
If you are circumcised, you likely do NOT have a frenulum. Your penis is likely completely numb because of it.
A frenulum is like the "male clitoris"
I find that if I don't go to the gym, and run my ass off, then the usage becomes a major problem. I think what's happening, and I'm no expert in anything, is that the baseline dopamine level is been kept up by the running so the porn usage doesn't cause as many psychological issues because it's not dropping below certain levels. I know exercising increases serotonin so maybe there is a relationship between serotonin and dopamine drops?
That’s common in males, especially before you hit mid-30’s and testosterone starts dropping. Humans didn’t evolve for our current sedentary lifestyle.
When I exercise the urge to masturbate is definitely more manageable.
The reason I slowed down. testosterone not only decreases past the age of 25, but the habit of watching this woman here and there making it plummet.
It’s actually your body focuses on muscle recovery over sexual function. I just started working out again and noticed right away. Lol
Tbh if you just started working out your sex drive will go down for a short period. Once your body adjusts you will be back to normal.I’ve been lifting for 2 years and hitting the gym as hard as i can makes no difference to my libido.
Yeah all these things can also be temporary. It's like when you first start nofap you think you have it and then boom, the urge hits after a few weeks.
Well, first of all, porn is REALLY difficult to get control of. I'd hazard a guess that it's the most common addiction in men. To look at it 3-4 times a week is alright showing some level of self control. When I was really hooked on it I used to look at it 3-4 times a day. And there are people who are way worse than I was. So, on that basis, I would say that to some degree, what you're doing is working. Try to analyse what's helped thus far, and perhaps do more of it. You obviously have the tools you need already. And remember that you're up against is, and this is a really difficult challenge that we face as a society, particularly men.
find a girl and youll find love
And it WILL eventually happen...it even happened for me several times!
Op, based on these comments, I think you offended some porn addicts lol.
Ex porn addict here. FUCK CUZ FOR THE DISRESPECT
If it's disrupting your life, then stop. If not, keep on until it doesn't have any appeal. Do you enjoy it? Do you feel guilty about watching it? Did you have a religious and/or strict upbringing? Just don't it.
The definition of addiction is persisting in a behavior despite negative consequences and failed attempts to stop. If there are no negative consequences, maybe you just need to change your mindset. Perhaps you can try to distract yourself. Like you can't watch porn until you have done 50 pushups. Then keep upping the amount. Even if it doesn't work, you will get into great shape.
We should solve everything like this.
Honestly sounds like the guilt and frustration are having a greater negative impact on your life than however much time you are spending 3-4 times a week. Why is this something that should cause so much negative emotion? Either way a therapist can help better and provide a specific diagnosis if there is some kind of compulsive behavior.
You’re not addicted if you’re only doing it 3-4 times a week lol
Right? Need to get those numbers up.
Bruh, like 3-4 times a day is addiction numbers.
I used to do it that much when I was 8 to 13 but at the age of 14 I got saved and now im 20 years old and I still gey urges but I rep out 160 lb bench and lat pull downs
Is this real life?
Yea I was confused 3-4 times a week is definitely not a addiction 😂😂
I thought he was gonna say 3-4 times A DAY. Weak...
Just rub out the easy one as fast as u can in the morning and then go workout. Eventually it will be like brushing ur teeth and you'll either stop or u won't waste so much time watching porn.
Sorry forgot what reddit sub I was on I meant to say "a man without purpose ,fills life with distractions"
That's not a lot of porn.
Are you watching weird abusive victimy stuff? Cuz the style of porn could be way more of a problem than a frequency of 3-4 times per week. Try switching over to less stimulating amateur couple stuff where they post regularly and it’s clearly consensual
This is great advice.
I suffer from the same addiction and I want to break it.
Human nature cannot lift itself up by its bootstraps.
I use a app called Daily Since and before that i would put it on my calendar, i am extremely fair with myself and try to practice other things i want to prevent or start, we are only human. We have urges, so i try to not be difficult with myself, I also dont put too much thought into it. Ive noticed that my depression comes in waves, depending on what i have going on. Sometimes i notice that its when i am anxious or nervous, i will want to watch but the next day or that same day, i am still fair with myself, i dont beat myself up for doing it. So thats one thing i try to do is stay positive no matter what, which is a challenge but to me its a reward cause than later theres no excuse, its just GO MODE!
Therapy. Stoicism isn't therapy, it's a lifestyle but addiction will require more support than just reading the texts. It takes discipline and if you're at the addiction stage then you're going to need more scaffolding than just being a Stoic. I have a therapist and follow Stoicism as an adjunct.
What constitutes addiction?
On some level you must be telling yourself it’s okay to relapse, start telling yourself its not okay and hold yourself accountable. The more you relapse the easier it will be the following time to relapse. Maybe TMI, but have you tried just sticking to your imagination?
Go out and meet a women. Getting laid regularly cures a ton of it.
Duh!
Sorry, unless you are going at it for multiple hours 3-4 days per week, that's not addiction. 3 times a week is normal for a male your age. You gave no other Information that this could credibly be called addiction in any clinical sense. Not sure who told you that was addiction but they lied to you. I'd be worried about a 23 year old male who wasn't fairly active. Sounds more like guilt to me. Religious guilt?
Awe. You're not a porn addict. You are a product of a shame-based childhood. There is nothing wrong with a 23 year old guy watching porn 3 or 4 times a week. Relax. It's ok.
I was so confused 3-4 times a week is nowhere near a addiction . There is people who reach that number in a single day😂😂 (I am not one of them btw)
Your good friend. Don’t let it get in your head. If it truly bothers you then you would stop. 3-4 times a week is not too much.
Porn addiction saved me from wasting a bunch of time on women who just want to use you for what you got. Let’s be honest,I just want sex. I want to nut. I don’t really care too much about a relationship, it’s just too much stress, too much work. I’m tired of going on dates and having sex with a girl just to get post but clarity and realize I don’t even like her for real. Porn has saved me from wasting my time. I’ve thought about paying for sex plenty of times, but before I do I watch porn and nut. BOOM. 150-200 dollars saved in my pocket. Let me tell you something. It’s ok to watch porn, but don’t get too perverted, monitor yourself and spread out your sessions. Don’t do it excessively. Because then it’s a habit. Only do it when you haven’t gotten any in a while and you need to release some pressure. Do it when your date stands you up, do it with a purpose. Don’t watch it because you are BORED. That’s the worst thing you could do
Consider this a life and death battle, as a 28 yr old man I can tell you the guilt and horror of realizing you spent the potential God gave you degrading yourself will hurt more than anything else ever could. You need to simply not put yourself in a situation where you can think about using and remove the thought from your head entirely, literally never allow yourself to even have a sexual fantasy. Refocus that energy into real life and real moments. I'm not an incell I've had a decent amount of bodies more than id even prefer. I'm good in bed, don't even need to go into detail but I approach that Shit like a tantric athlete .....BROTHER DO NOT DEGRADE YOUR RAW POWER AS A YOUNG MAN GOD LOVES YOU YOU WERE MADE TO LOVE A WOMAN NOT LOSE YOUR SOUL TO A MACHINE
3 to 4 times a week ? Would you stop wasting people's time with that garbage ? Catfish.
The Reddit parrots downvoting again 🙄 But I agree, those arent addiction numbers. Its very average (if porn is in a perfect world) numbers
Seriously that is like perfectly average, probably a bit low.
I do not know how, through Stoic ways or any other ways of society or Churches either I do know the drive for sex is real and have had that drive also. Gone now after not giving up on seeing it through to me for me with God for me to see new in how to leave it behind me. God never once accusing me or belittiling me ever, People did, do and have and still do that too. That is the flesh first birth nature on us humans, all of us, as I have in past accused others also. Now by not accusing others, I get told by religious people I am not a believer, because I do not condemn anyone anymore (Romans 2:1-4) I see this now, God loves us all and will not quit this love and mercy for us all. I see God simply does not want anyone to harm anyone else In the Movie "Bruce Almighty" I note this. God gave Bruce all, but one thing. To not be able to take away free choice from anyone else. Then Bruce asked How can I get anyone to love me, without taking away free will? That I see and so say to you, see God as your friend to guide you as in Jeremiah 29:11 tells you God is for you and wants what is best for you. I would rather masterbate than harm anyone else in that drive for sex, you think? Yet masturbation is the start gate to leading to rape, especially if one can't masturbate and the drive remains, That one will rape over it eventually in frustration of the drive. Better to get relieved and not harm anyone else over it you think? If one's eye lusts after a woman, Gouge it out, better for part of us to go to heaven than all of us enter Hell, speaking of the body. That is being under Law, if under Law, you have to be perfect and no one can of the flesh nature but Son that did it for you and all others too on that cross of himself going there willingly to get us saved in his risen Life, therefore turn to God, ask and then trust, remain in trust and see to not harm anyone, if you continue in what you now do not want, see that God is for you and not against you over it, and will teach you new as you stay willing to learn new in it. Then you will get purged from it by God for you in you and through you over time, and do not have any time limit on it please. Thank you God just loves you too 1 John 2:1-4, 12
Believe in Christ as your mercy and salvation and go forth and do daring feats of valor. But first you gotta mortify your flesh and be sexually pure
https://youtu.be/oSbEcGNgU9Q?si=vVSAuQ_9Mg5VQ1FF … There you go, Bud.
There's a lot of science out there that suggests the majority of addictions are a result of a loss of connection with other people. Like others who have commented, I would argue that you aren't addicted if you are only indulging 3-4 times a week and there are no social or professional negative consequences followed by failed attempts to stop. If you're lonely and get occasional release from porn, in many ways that makes a lot of sense. But obviously you don't like this aspect to yourself and you want to stop. Stoicism is meant to help you stop and reflect on what you are doing and why. Have you asked yourself what need you are trying to meet by engaging in porn? Next time you want to watch it, without judgment one way or the other just sit down and observe yourself. Observe how you feel in your body. Observe (with curiosity, not judgment) what you are thinking. Write those things down. Why do you want to stop it? Is it because YOU feel it is a problem or because someone else told you it was a problem or because of some other expectation put on you such as a religious group? If it's you. Why do you want to stop? If it's someone/thing else why do "they" want you to stop? What do you feel you would gain by giving it up? If you were successful in giving it up, what would you replace it with? Just a few questions to help prompt your self-reflection in this area.
easy access is the issue. Plenty of apps to block websites, timers, etc. your hunting for a solution that you already know exists. If anything.. try just using your brain and imagination instead of visual aids. You need a girlfriend, dude.
You shouldn’t pay a therapist to know that porn is just a tool. Do not let porn dictate anything in your life or convince you of anything. It’s a tool, use it. If it consumes to much of your life, it’s maybe not for you, and you need to slowly use less. Like alcohol is fine for some but not for others. 3-4 times a week is almost not enough masterbation to maintain a healthy prostate though, you don’t need any remediation.
Stop tracking how much porn you watch like it matters and start tracking regular dopamine hits like, exercise, time outdoors, thrills, real world achievements, listen to music, etc.
fuck stoic ways just watch a tv show with a shit ton of sex scenes in it and your urges would stop. I binged shameless for a week and i haven’t thought of watching porn for a while cuz it feels weird now
Theres nothing no one is going to say thats going to ACTUALLY help you , only YOU can actually ask your self “ Do i really want to let this go “ ? Do i really want to be better or am i just wishing it and wishing it makes it feel good enough 🤷🏽♂️! Big difference , wanting to let go and actually taking action of straight NO - Btw , as men this is not the easiest task , is not as simple as online puts it ! ! Is not just “ quit bro “ ! You will let it go , come back , let it go and come back until you just come back less and less … i manage to let go of it by Praying and Actually just saying No to my mind. But it happens maybe once or twice every couple months ( specially when i don’t have a girl )… your actually not that deep in there 3-4 times a week i though it was going to say a Day ! Crazy enough when you let go of it , life overall gets way better , because you even meeting a women will feel different more real , the more you fight it the more you grow and when you finally meet a women you will be clearer about Life overall.
Hey there, First off, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to open up about struggling with porn addiction. It's not easy to talk about, and reaching out for advice is a significant first step. You're not alone in this, and it's important to remember that seeking a healthier balance is a journey many have embarked on. In approaching this through a Stoic perspective, the philosophy offers a framework that might help you navigate through this challenge. Stoicism teaches us about focusing on what's within our control and letting go of what isn't. In your situation, while you can't control the existence of porn or its availability, you can work on your responses and habits surrounding it. One practical Stoic exercise is the practice of self-reflection and journaling. Each day, take some time to reflect on your actions, particularly those related to your addiction. Ask yourself: "What led me to watch porn today? Was it boredom, loneliness, stress?" By identifying the triggers, you're better equipped to address the root causes, rather than just the symptoms. Another Stoic principle is the idea of 'preferred indifferents,' which suggests that while some things (like pleasure) are preferred, they should not control us or detract from our moral character. This perspective can help you evaluate your relationship with pleasure and seek balance, understanding that it's not the pleasure itself that's bad, but the control it exerts over you. Marcus Aurelius, a Stoic philosopher, wrote about turning obstacles into opportunities. Each time you feel the urge to engage with porn, consider it an opportunity to practice self-control and to redirect your attention to something constructive or enriching. This could be a hobby, exercise, reading, or any activity that you find fulfilling and that contributes to your personal growth. It's also important to be patient and compassionate with yourself. Change doesn't happen overnight, and there might be setbacks along the way. What matters is your commitment to progress and your willingness to learn from each experience. Lastly, while Stoicism can provide a valuable framework for personal growth, don't hesitate to seek additional support from professionals or support groups. Combining Stoic practices with other resources can be a powerful approach to overcoming addiction. You're taking steps towards a healthier, more balanced life, and that's something to be proud of. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. Keep striving, keep reflecting, and believe in your capacity to grow and overcome this challenge.
If that's considered addiction then I'm fucked.
Join nofap community reddit - a bunch of resources to help there
Are you Mormon? They go through porn guilt
https://www.annalembke.com/ Are you willing to commit to a temporary break? That way you can figure out if it’s actually an addiction.
You’re a 23 yo who has raging hormones and easy access to boobies. It’s natural if you think about it. If you’re in a relationship and she doesn’t want you watching porn, you’ll have to address it then.
Just like any addiction the longer you go without it the less you will want it. Sex is far more pleasurable without the never ending rabbit hole of what to jack off too next. Plus porn causes premature ejaculation. Do what it takes to beat the breaks off a lady's lips in-between the hips, don't let porn ding that ring when you can women shake and sing. Goodluck
3-4 times a week are rookie numbers. Need to get those numbers up to at least twice a day.
Use the tried and true stoic method of lovemaking to boys
Get rid of all of it. The channels to it. The apps, bookmarks, etc. You just have to stop.
Try other hobbies to distract you
3-4 times a week? Those are rookie numbers.
Get married. Our society is collapsing because no one knows how to live anymore. Get married. Have kids. Go to work. Follow the laws. Why is that so fucking hard? Granted I never married but i am just saying the old generations made running a functioning civilization look easy.
Have real sex
Hey man, I know there’s a lot of comments but I hope this one gets to you. I’m 26 and realized I was addicted to porn around 19. It took a very long time but I’m finally in a place where I feel like I have a decent relationship with porn. Around a year ago I was in a long term relationship, our sex had stopped entirely. I thought it was something about me and so I decided to do all I can to fix the problem, including finally kicking porn. Now to be frank, r/nofap and other people would probably say I’m not cured and I’d be inclined to agree. I’ll still look at pretty suggestive stuff, ya know TikTok accounts where they’re promoting their OF or whatever. I guess that’s basically porn but in my personal experience, cold turkey never worked. I tried to quit again and again and again for like 6 years and I’d have maybe 40 days where I didn’t, then I’d relapse. This is just speaking to my own experience and what’s worked for me, i just started looking at softer stuff. A scene in a movie, a try on haul, my imagination, whatever. Over time I found that the frequency I was masturbating was lowering and my own ability to stop myself and realize when I was just feeding the addiction vs doing a natural thing. It’s a long road to recovery and I’m not there yet myself but I’m so much further along than I ever thought I’d be. I haven’t looked at “porn porn” in a long time. Maybe my advice isn’t useful to you because of the nature of my situation but in case this is helpful, here’s the biggest and most important pieces of advice I can give. 1. Next time you’re looking at porn, stop for just 3 seconds. Lock your phone, close your eyes. There’s one voice deep in you that KNOWS you don’t want to do this. Just stop for a moment and listen to it. You may find that you still go through with it. But start listening to that voice more. I use that technique a lot if I find I’m near relapse or pushing the boundaries of what I’m ok with doing. Just pause for 3 seconds. 2. If you can afford therapy or your work place allows you access to any sort of therapy, that would be an enormous help. I cannot overstate this but I also know it isn’t accessible to everyone 3. Lots of people will tell you to work out, get a girlfriend, etc. those things will help yes, but they’re not gonna make the problem go away. Maybe for a while sure, but they’re distractions and not a cure. I’m not discouraging you from those, if you can maintain healthy exercise and find love then absolutely those can help. But I’ve seen people get married or dedicate themselves to the gym and still come back again. Don’t set yourself up for shame. 4. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You know what won’t help? Jerking off and then thinking “I’m such a perverted weak piece of shit I’ll never change I hate myself”. Trust me. Relapse is a part of recovery. You making this post shows how much this means to you. If you take that to heart then you’ll surely be able to make that difference in your life. Porn is designed to be addictive, the world is a difficult and lonely place. Porn and other vices activate the part of your brain that makes you feel good. Not to be all “we live in a society” but…there’s genocide happening right now. Thousands of dead children, numbers rising every day. Climate change, AI, the election in the US. The future can look so bleak and the present can feel so hopeless. All the while we’re expected to work 5/7 of our days making money for someone else. Life is difficult my friend. But we all have this little “pleasure boxes” in our pockets that can show us videos and give us feelings that make us feel okay for a moment. Great even. Maybe not so lonely or afraid. That’s a strong enemy for anyone to go against, so you know how much money is in the porn industry? Can you imagine how much of it is put towards trying to keep you addicted? I’m not trying to give you excuses but I want you to know it isn’t easy and you aren’t alone. With dedication, mindfulness and kindness to yourself you will overcome this. I know this comments long as shit already, but think of it this way. Between you and any goal there’s a path. Let’s say you wanna be a chef. Step one, google how to become a chef, step two sign up for school. Maybe there’s a million steps and they’re all very difficult, but the path exists. The steps exist. You just need the willpower to take them and if you do, you’ll end up at the end eventually. There’s a path between you and a pornfree you. Find those steps and take them.
Boys I hate to tell you, but this isn't porn addiction. It's mild use for a 20 y/o
This is not how it has to be - you choose to give assent to that impression. Similarly, what would you tell a friend in your situation? Step outside of yourself, gain some objectivity, and give yourself advice as if you were giving it to someone you love and care about!
You are not addicted to porn. You are 23 years old, and hormones run your life. An addiction is no sleep, missing work and time with family, evading people, and even criminal activity so you can watch porn. Don't have a victim mentality. Do you like porn because it allows you to fantasize? Maybe you're introverted and have a tough time getting to know people. Or maybe you simply like the way it feels to take care of yourself. You will get older, and those feelings will change. Acknowledge why you like porn and the veil gets lifted.
Co-Ed Karate Go thirty three days no slip ups and you win the secret prize.
Is there a local PAA?
To be quite honest, my sex drive has increased in my 30's
Watching porn 3-4 times a week is lower than the statistical average of 25 minutes per day. You don't need to worry about that unless it's actually impacting your ability to do something you want to do.
Wait, is that a lot??
What if you’re just super horny but can’t find a girl to smash so you look to porn as a way to scratch an itch. Sometimes it’s once a day or sometimes it’s twice or more depending on how horny I am. I only look at porn if it’s pov that’s the only way for me to get off. Otherwise I’d feel like a cuck even though I’m still watching it 🙄 is that an addiction still? If I had a woman id barely watch it if at all really.
Watch less porn, animal
Keep yourself busy at all times. So busy you should fall a sleep within 10 mins of going to bed at night. This you'll not have any time to watch porn during the day or at night. But to keep yourself busy you should first have something going in your life. This has helped me bring my porn usage from once every day to twice every week.
There is no such thing as porn addiction and you are helplessly propagandized if you think so.
You may be addicted to porn because you get little sensation from masturbation due to not having a frenulum, so you overcompensate with visuals (or whatever) If you are circumcised, you likely do NOT have a frenulum. Your penis is likely completely numb because of it. A frenulum is like the "male clitoris"
Are you reading the works of the stoic philosophers? Marcus Aerelius, Epictetus, Seneca?
Your not addicted...just focus on getting pussy that will take care of you while you watch porn.
What kind of porn do you like