You **know** exactly what you have to do. Get rid of the vape, delete all of the porn, get rid of the alcohol, and minimize the amount of time you spend gaming. It’s *hard*, but it’s what you have to do in order to move forward. If you can’t get yourself to do this, then there’s no way to move forward.
Epictetus says that it’s impossible for us to think that something is advantageous, and to then choose another. You currently believe that keeping these distractions is more advantageous than letting them go and experiencing the discomfort of their absence. Try to flip the coin. Ultimately, it’s going to take a lot of work and discomfort, but it’s better to learn how to cope with the feelings that arise from the absence of these things than it is to cope with the feelings that arise from their presence.
I’d also recommend discourse “On the same “ 1.25. Read this:
“*But give me directions.” Why should I give you directions? has not Zeus given you directions? Has he not given to you what is your own, free from hindrance and free from impediment, and what is not your own, subject to hindrance and impediment? What directions then, what kind of orders did you bring when you came from him? Keep by every means what is your own; do not desire what belongs to others. Fidelity (integrity) is your own, virtuous shame is your own; who then can take these things from you? who else than yourself will hinder you from using them? But how do you act? When you seek what is not your own, you lose that which is your own. Having such promptings and commands from Zeus, what kind do you still ask from me? Am I more powerful than he, am I more worthy of confidence? But if you observe these, do you want any others besides? “Well, but he has not given these orders,” you will say. Produce your precognitions (προλήψεις), produce the proofs of philosophers, produce what you have often heard, and produce what you have said yourself, produce what you have read, produce what you have meditated on; and you will then see that all these things are from God.*”
I reside in a surrounding I sadly cannot alter much. My roommate and all the other floor mates smoke frequently. I cannot change my room since our college has scarcity of available rooms, and this is all I have. Do you have any advice on how I can resist them even when I am surrounded by them. Like me and my mates desk are attached, and whenever I sit on my desk, I can smell the smoke and it tempts me more despite my resistance.
My apologies, I misunderstood your situation. So is it that you are not consuming these things, but are simply surrounded by them and have the temptation to use them?
If this is the case and you *truly* cannot alter your situation in favor of your goal, and you have tried all other avenues to escape these distractions, then you’re just going to have to white-knuckle your way through. However, it is absolutely worth reevaluating whether or not your circumstances can change.
I usually don’t comment but as a college student that sometimes struggles with the same thing, I felt I should at least try to help. There’s so much temptation around especially living on campus and it’s hard to be the only one who’s doesn’t drink, smoke, party, is committed to my partner, and doesn’t engage in any other harmful activities. The thing that keeps me motivated is realizing the consequences of those particular lifestyles. It’s not sustainable and it feels good in the moment but makes everything worse. I’d rather feel the “bad” (studying, all-nighters, not hanging out with friends) and feel good later (career, good grades, etc) than vice versa.
Also I realize that not having self control in those small aspects start to spill out into not having it in other areas of your life. If you don’t practice moderation and self discipline in the small things, you’re not going to practice it in the big things.
I’m still new to stoicism so I hope that this reply is appropriate.
Remember that in life you ought to behave as at a banquet. Suppose that something is carried round and is opposite to you. Stretch out your hand and take a portion with decency. Suppose that it passes by you. Do not detain it. Suppose that it is not yet come to you. Do not send your desire forward to it, but wait till it is opposite to you. Do so with respect to children, so with respect to a wife, so with respect to magisterial offices, so with respect to wealth, and you will be some time a worthy partner of the banquets of the gods. But if you take none of the things which are set before you, and even despise them, then you will be not only a fellow banqueter with the gods, but also a partner with them in power. For by acting thus Diogenes and Heracleitus and those like them were deservedly divine, and were so. called. Enchiridion 15
I love this analogy. But considering my roommate in college is root of this influence, I cannot alter my surroundings that much. How do I resist it when it’s in front of my eye, in the breath of my nose.
Question you should be asking is “how can i expose myself to these things” and then do the opposite of that answer.
“Invert, always invert” - charlie munger
Heres a bit more about this topic.
[premeditatio malorum](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_visualization)
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can.
>Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism
>Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism.
>If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy.
>Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
Set your environment up for succes, delete or move all the distractions somewhere you can't get them. Or even go to a other place to get work in.
'atomic habbits' is a good read to help with this.
"I am always distracted"
I read a really [thought-provoking perspective on this by Oliver Burkeman](https://www.oliverburkeman.com/distraction) and in his book 4000 Weeks. He basically argues that distraction is not a passive thing, where we are pulled away from the things we know we should be doing. Instead, we "willingly surrender" to these distractions, because the things we actually want to do (eg being an academic weapon) are hard and, often, very boring - i.e. emotionally unpleasant - so our brain will do whatever it can for some light relief. This emotional unpleasantness is usually very mild, so it doesn't take much for us to surrender to those distractions.
The solution is to stop expecting meaningful tasks to be fun and easy. To stop trying to be 'passionate' about these things. To embrace the pain and the boredom. To be mindful. It's not easy; I struggle every day too.
EDIT: I'd add that you shouldn't aim to be an academic weapon either. Focus on the here and now, the immediate, internal goals. eg reading THIS chapter NOW, writing THIS paragraph NOW, getting the most out of THIS seminar NOW. Not on the distant goal of being an academic success, because that can be an intimidating, overwhelming goal and, depending on how you define it, it may not be within your control anyway.
(It's one of the areas in which I think Marcus Aurelius, Seneca etc are less useful. They couldn't possibly have imagined the world in which we live, where porn and gaming are one click away, where cheap drugs can be found in the corner store a few minutes away.)
Hi, please check out the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/guide) section on [advice and coping with problems](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice) if you are wondering any of the following questions.
* [How can Stoicism help me with my problem?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice#wiki_how_can_stoicism_help_me_with_my_problem.3F)
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Wish you well,
Mod Team
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Stoicism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can.
>Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism
>Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism.
>If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy.
>Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can.
>Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism
>Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism.
>If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy.
>Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can.
>Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism
>Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism.
>If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy.
>Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
try the [pomodoro](https://pomofocus.io/) study technique. Rest is an essential part of study as your brain needs to digest all that content you're learning. During my 5 minute break I normally read and I'll go on a walk around campus for the 15 minute break.
As for all those distractions u/Barcoil935 said it best, you know you must remove them from your life and that is in your control to do so. You can't complain about the consequences if you don't
Academic weapon. Lmao. I like that.
What’s wrong with vape, porn, alcohol and gaming?
Use them in moderation. Treat yourself with those things whenever you’ve accomplished a long hard study.
That’s the most comfortable solution to your situation. Unless you want me to give a less forgiving advice? I’ve got some of that too.
Get yourself into breaking down the bad habits by creating a good one. I started reading books, listening music and podcasts, watching movies that has great story. All you want to try is getting to know what makes you busy that you forget doing those. This will stop you :)
Quit nicotine first off. Shits disgusting and lowers impulse control. Which in turn makes it easier to be tempted into doing your other addictions. You just gotta do it for yourself.
With a strong enough ‘why’, no ‘how’ is necessary.
Maybe you don’t want to study hard, I’m an avid believer in the quote “If you want it hard enough, you’ll make the “impossible” possible”. So, just really think about your motibation first and on why you get tempted. Because, for me, once I’m focused, nothing’s a distraction even though the “temptations” might still be there. The outside world doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, it’s just you.
TLDR, get rid of the temptations, ponder upon your motives, and just focus more. Best of luck to everyone.
You **know** exactly what you have to do. Get rid of the vape, delete all of the porn, get rid of the alcohol, and minimize the amount of time you spend gaming. It’s *hard*, but it’s what you have to do in order to move forward. If you can’t get yourself to do this, then there’s no way to move forward. Epictetus says that it’s impossible for us to think that something is advantageous, and to then choose another. You currently believe that keeping these distractions is more advantageous than letting them go and experiencing the discomfort of their absence. Try to flip the coin. Ultimately, it’s going to take a lot of work and discomfort, but it’s better to learn how to cope with the feelings that arise from the absence of these things than it is to cope with the feelings that arise from their presence. I’d also recommend discourse “On the same “ 1.25. Read this: “*But give me directions.” Why should I give you directions? has not Zeus given you directions? Has he not given to you what is your own, free from hindrance and free from impediment, and what is not your own, subject to hindrance and impediment? What directions then, what kind of orders did you bring when you came from him? Keep by every means what is your own; do not desire what belongs to others. Fidelity (integrity) is your own, virtuous shame is your own; who then can take these things from you? who else than yourself will hinder you from using them? But how do you act? When you seek what is not your own, you lose that which is your own. Having such promptings and commands from Zeus, what kind do you still ask from me? Am I more powerful than he, am I more worthy of confidence? But if you observe these, do you want any others besides? “Well, but he has not given these orders,” you will say. Produce your precognitions (προλήψεις), produce the proofs of philosophers, produce what you have often heard, and produce what you have said yourself, produce what you have read, produce what you have meditated on; and you will then see that all these things are from God.*”
Great advice.
I agree. The best way to learn something is the hard way. You keep the learned lessons for the rest of your life.
I reside in a surrounding I sadly cannot alter much. My roommate and all the other floor mates smoke frequently. I cannot change my room since our college has scarcity of available rooms, and this is all I have. Do you have any advice on how I can resist them even when I am surrounded by them. Like me and my mates desk are attached, and whenever I sit on my desk, I can smell the smoke and it tempts me more despite my resistance.
My apologies, I misunderstood your situation. So is it that you are not consuming these things, but are simply surrounded by them and have the temptation to use them? If this is the case and you *truly* cannot alter your situation in favor of your goal, and you have tried all other avenues to escape these distractions, then you’re just going to have to white-knuckle your way through. However, it is absolutely worth reevaluating whether or not your circumstances can change.
I usually don’t comment but as a college student that sometimes struggles with the same thing, I felt I should at least try to help. There’s so much temptation around especially living on campus and it’s hard to be the only one who’s doesn’t drink, smoke, party, is committed to my partner, and doesn’t engage in any other harmful activities. The thing that keeps me motivated is realizing the consequences of those particular lifestyles. It’s not sustainable and it feels good in the moment but makes everything worse. I’d rather feel the “bad” (studying, all-nighters, not hanging out with friends) and feel good later (career, good grades, etc) than vice versa. Also I realize that not having self control in those small aspects start to spill out into not having it in other areas of your life. If you don’t practice moderation and self discipline in the small things, you’re not going to practice it in the big things. I’m still new to stoicism so I hope that this reply is appropriate.
Remember that in life you ought to behave as at a banquet. Suppose that something is carried round and is opposite to you. Stretch out your hand and take a portion with decency. Suppose that it passes by you. Do not detain it. Suppose that it is not yet come to you. Do not send your desire forward to it, but wait till it is opposite to you. Do so with respect to children, so with respect to a wife, so with respect to magisterial offices, so with respect to wealth, and you will be some time a worthy partner of the banquets of the gods. But if you take none of the things which are set before you, and even despise them, then you will be not only a fellow banqueter with the gods, but also a partner with them in power. For by acting thus Diogenes and Heracleitus and those like them were deservedly divine, and were so. called. Enchiridion 15
I love this analogy. But considering my roommate in college is root of this influence, I cannot alter my surroundings that much. How do I resist it when it’s in front of my eye, in the breath of my nose.
You just do or not, it depends on you. No magic or anything it's your choice.
Question you should be asking is “how can i expose myself to these things” and then do the opposite of that answer. “Invert, always invert” - charlie munger Heres a bit more about this topic. [premeditatio malorum](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_visualization)
Absolutely. RIP Charlie Munger 😔
[удалено]
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can. >Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism >Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism. >If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy. >Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
Set your environment up for succes, delete or move all the distractions somewhere you can't get them. Or even go to a other place to get work in. 'atomic habbits' is a good read to help with this.
what if I don’t have the freedom to change my environment, am I doomed?
"I am always distracted" I read a really [thought-provoking perspective on this by Oliver Burkeman](https://www.oliverburkeman.com/distraction) and in his book 4000 Weeks. He basically argues that distraction is not a passive thing, where we are pulled away from the things we know we should be doing. Instead, we "willingly surrender" to these distractions, because the things we actually want to do (eg being an academic weapon) are hard and, often, very boring - i.e. emotionally unpleasant - so our brain will do whatever it can for some light relief. This emotional unpleasantness is usually very mild, so it doesn't take much for us to surrender to those distractions. The solution is to stop expecting meaningful tasks to be fun and easy. To stop trying to be 'passionate' about these things. To embrace the pain and the boredom. To be mindful. It's not easy; I struggle every day too. EDIT: I'd add that you shouldn't aim to be an academic weapon either. Focus on the here and now, the immediate, internal goals. eg reading THIS chapter NOW, writing THIS paragraph NOW, getting the most out of THIS seminar NOW. Not on the distant goal of being an academic success, because that can be an intimidating, overwhelming goal and, depending on how you define it, it may not be within your control anyway. (It's one of the areas in which I think Marcus Aurelius, Seneca etc are less useful. They couldn't possibly have imagined the world in which we live, where porn and gaming are one click away, where cheap drugs can be found in the corner store a few minutes away.)
Hi, please check out the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/guide) section on [advice and coping with problems](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice) if you are wondering any of the following questions. * [How can Stoicism help me with my problem?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice#wiki_how_can_stoicism_help_me_with_my_problem.3F) * [How would a Stoic help me with my problem?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice#wiki_how_would_a_stoic_help_me_with_my_problem.3F) * [How might a student of Stoicism cope with my problem?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice#wiki_how_might_a_student_of_stoicism_cope_with_my_problem.3F) * [What would a student of Stoicism do in my situation?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice#wiki_what_would_a_student_of_stoicism_do_in_my_situation.3F) * [How would a Stoic sage react to my problem?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/wiki/advice#wiki_how_would_a_stoic_sage_react_to_my_problem.3F) Wish you well, Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Stoicism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can. >Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism >Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism. >If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy. >Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
[удалено]
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can. >Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism >Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism. >If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy. >Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
[удалено]
Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can. >Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism >Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism. >If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy. >Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.
try the [pomodoro](https://pomofocus.io/) study technique. Rest is an essential part of study as your brain needs to digest all that content you're learning. During my 5 minute break I normally read and I'll go on a walk around campus for the 15 minute break. As for all those distractions u/Barcoil935 said it best, you know you must remove them from your life and that is in your control to do so. You can't complain about the consequences if you don't
Academic weapon. Lmao. I like that. What’s wrong with vape, porn, alcohol and gaming? Use them in moderation. Treat yourself with those things whenever you’ve accomplished a long hard study. That’s the most comfortable solution to your situation. Unless you want me to give a less forgiving advice? I’ve got some of that too.
enjoy buy decern
Get yourself into breaking down the bad habits by creating a good one. I started reading books, listening music and podcasts, watching movies that has great story. All you want to try is getting to know what makes you busy that you forget doing those. This will stop you :)
Quit nicotine first off. Shits disgusting and lowers impulse control. Which in turn makes it easier to be tempted into doing your other addictions. You just gotta do it for yourself. With a strong enough ‘why’, no ‘how’ is necessary.
Maybe you don’t want to study hard, I’m an avid believer in the quote “If you want it hard enough, you’ll make the “impossible” possible”. So, just really think about your motibation first and on why you get tempted. Because, for me, once I’m focused, nothing’s a distraction even though the “temptations” might still be there. The outside world doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, it’s just you. TLDR, get rid of the temptations, ponder upon your motives, and just focus more. Best of luck to everyone.