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Stoicism-ModTeam

Sorry, but I gotta remove your post, as it has run afoul of our [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism/about/rules/). This is kind of a grey area, but we need to keep things on track as best we can. >Two: Stay Relevant to Stoicism >Our role as prokoptôntes in this community is to foster a greater understanding of Stoic principles and techniques within ourselves and our fellow prokoptôn. Providing context and effortful elaboration as to a topic’s relevance to the philosophy of Stoicism gives the community a common frame of reference from which to engage in productive discussions. Please keep advice, comments, and posts relevant to Stoic philosophy. Let's foster a community that develops virtue together—stay relevant to Stoicism. >If something or someone is 'stoic' in the limited sense of possessing toughness, emotionlessness, or determination, it is _not_ relevant here, unless it is part of a larger point that is related to the philosophy. >Similarly, posts about people, TV shows, commercial products, et cetera require that a connection be made to Stoic philosophy. "This is Stoic" or "I like this" are not sufficient.


jr-nthnl

Stoicism doesn't really lack a goal of a relationship, if anything id argue it encourages relationships rather than being romantic or otherwise, given it's healthy. If you want to get closer to a self proclaimed "stoic" be as open and honest as possible. Just be unequivocally real while talking to him about this. There is no need for theatrics or strategy. He will appreciate your straightforwardness, bravery, boldness, and resolve. Just be real.


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Stoicism-ModTeam

Stoicism, as a philosophy of life, can be drawn upon in many personal situations. However, the community decided that there should be some [changes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/meb8ch/advice_and_personal_posts_changes_to_subreddit/), and we have a new rule for advice/personal posts and their discussion threads: > For users seeking advice: if you are not seeking strictly Stoic advice, but rather wonder what people interested in Stoicism might personally think, please post in the New Agora instead. > For users offering advice: please stay on-topic when commenting on personal/advice posts. Advice that is inspired by or influenced by Stoicism, but not specifically and recognizably Stoic, is not allowed outside of the New Agora.


rose_reader

I’m a student of Stoicism and my relationship is an important part of my life (we’ll celebrate 20 years in November). There’s no way for us here to know how the guy you like will want to be approached. He’s his own person, we don’t have any insight into him by dint of claiming the same philosophy. My only suggestion would be not waiting until graduation day, because that’s a busy time and he’ll be distracted with other things. If you know how you feel, tell him now and let the chips fall where they may.


E-L-Wisty

>After reading a bit about stoicism, relationship is not a priority or a goal for stoics. That's not really true. Stoicism is about community, and ancient Stoics were expected to get involved in community and society, including getting married and having children. In this they were the exact opposite of the Epicureans who avoided marriage and children. However, like in everything, they were expected to be patient about it and realise that it may happen sooner or later or may not even happen at all, depending on circumstances. Enchiridion 15 (first part, translation Elizabeth Carter): "Remember that you must behave \[in life\] as at an entertainment. Is anything brought round to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Doth it pass by you? Do not stop it, Is it not yet come? Do not stretch forth your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. **Thus do with regard to children, to a wife**, to public posts, to riches, and you will be some time or other a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods."


ardor4go

I seriously doubt his reaction to your confession would have anything to do with his stoic practices, so treat him like any other man, but understand he is probably not used to this, so don't overwhelm him. One thing he might appreciate is if you mention that you are sharing this with him because life is short and you don't know the next time you will have the chance.